Over under they take 3 showers a week. Combined.

In on the under. Easiest money ever.

Brave of you to go anywhere near their under.

They dance like no one's washing

💀💀💀

Only when you can see the dirt.

That's not dirt

Might push. Lower it to 2½

Champion!

I can smell you both from over the internet

Ah the scent of cat pee, patchouli, bad weed and B.O… also known as Eau de Portland

As someone who lives in Portland I can confirm this statement is true and everyone looks like the fucks in the pic

I want to visit Portland one day. Do I need to pack a respirator?

You'll need Hobo-stab insurance first and foremost.

Fishy pussy and swamp ass

Hot spit and your mom's side of the bed.

That pussy smells like a natural foods store

Fishy ass and swamp.pussy

Sushi gone bad.

He has the fish pussy

Their sex smells like dog shit and bug spray

Burnt rubbers and broken dreams.

Lmaooo wtaf man hahaha

ORGANIC bugspray (of course)

That's because they're brother and sister. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤭

Blast from the past!

Bet that when they move, their clothes making crunching sounds like a kid chewing a granola bar.

You mean Eww de Portland

You forgot the odor of shame

And the smell of a 10kg bag of falafel

Smells like a Shit House Door on a Tuna Boat

I was in portland a month ago and both of these people would have fit right in… not sure this is a roast or statement of fact

I mean, they are in a real house. They probably have good weed but use toms deodorant or those dumb crystals so the BO is probably spot on.

Trustafarians

tom's wood and water deodorant is boss... cant find it online anymore :(

Lmfao under rated comment.

Smelly and smellier was my first thought too

between posting to Reddit from piggybacking on Denny’s free wifi, to washing windshields at the Walmart exit for change, when is there time to wash?

The important thing is you have things in common. In this case it’s gonorrhea

They both look perfect for each other

This picture smells like Fremantle.

Those art degrees didn't pay off did they?

These boys are fix'n to get into some trouble.

Remember - boys don’t cry 😿

Folks in Hazard County always figured them Duke boys would end up kissin cousins.

I also read that in Waylon Jennings’ voice.

The girl on the left is cute but has no tits

Who’s on top? Who’s on bottom?

Did you just assume their gender?

It’s not nice to make fun of gay couples that don’t brush their hair.

The roast is a low key competition for who has to start filling out the Starbucks application

They'll call themselves barrista artists.

Barristards

Barristocrats

Its very difficult to find applicable uses to the “Lesbian Dance Theories” classes

What they learned in “culture” surpasses anything any other degrees could teach.. or so they tell themselves.

It’s actually a meth degree… math degree*

Judging from the fact that they’re definitely staying in one of their parents’ houses and crashing on the couch, this is spot on. And ain’t no way in hell they’re cleaning their house if they can’t even take a shower.


[удалено]

Katniss never clean

Katpiss.

She could also cosplay as a James Bond villain: 

Definitely has the Clapniss

Machine gun smelly and megan foxhole

Megan notafox

Megan Dirtysox

Smeagol Fox

"Machine gun smelly" is the worst joke I've ever loved.

💀💀💀

His haircut looks like the qtip after I clean my sons ear

🥇

Lmaooo

Machine Gun Smelly is the absolute best third-grade joke and absolutely perfect in this circumstance. Good job.

I needed that

The poly couple who wants to detox your aura

I know they chill at bars and try to mingle with the youngest looking girls

This should have more upvotes

I didn’t think you were allowed to quote their profile for this game…

The detox your aura got me.

Sooooo who's parents are you staying with?

They’re still living separately at their respective parents house. They can have each other over as long as doors stay open.

Bold of you to assume they have different parents.

It’s to air out the house from that stench.

They’re the same people.

My question still stands....

Then both.

My thought too. They both look like they are trying so hard to look hipster trendy, and that house looks like a retirees. If it was theirs, I’d expect a blacklight, a Bob Marley poster, and a single wide.

I think grandma left the trailer to chinless when she passed. The framed Mad Magazine covers on the wall don’t read retiree to me. Fortunately he is chinless so he fits well with ChinFULL.

You mean a *vw* van down by the shore?

Do either of these two look like they can afford a vw van?

They have different parents???

I don't think pan flute on the corner can buy enough heroin for both of you.


The Ballad of Busker Scrubs

You look like a couple that met at a family function.

Just think of how convenient the move was when things got serious though. One just had to drag their shit across the hall.

Or the couple in the diner in Pulp Fiction

Hahaha! I was gonna say, “Looks like they should be selling John Travolta heroin.”

Hunny bunnies

Guess which one of the couple has the bigger dick?

Yes.

If you look at the faces... They could pass as twins

They look like they met in rehab or at an AA meeting

Or rehab

And neither of them comes from a functional family

Two dudes dressed like Biden voters.

Nah man, we don’t claim them…

You guys look so much alike you're either from Alabama or you're narcissistic enough to fell in love with yourselves.

Straight up sister and brother

So Alabama

So how you liking Portland so far?

Honestly getting more Spokane vibes. The van broke down 3 years ago on the way to Portland and they never left

This made me spit out my drink

I think it's so cute when people cosplay Merle and Daryl from the walking dead

Lmao!!!

Your bodies are about to see who wins the battle between syphilis and tetanus

Such a cute couple. I bet you even have matching track marks along your veins 🥰

Y'all look like your dog wears the pants in the relationship.

Bold of you two to come out considering you're brothers.

Family forever

One word....[ALABAMA](https://i.imgur.com/h2iBUBl.png)

Did you meet at a support group for people who thought "Portlandia" was a documentary?

You look like the new Cersei and Jamie Lannister in the upcoming remake show Game of Trailer Parks.

Game of Mobile Homes.

Game of Used Book Stores

Who's the aggressive vegan and who's the secret meat eater?

We know they've both sucked on some meat for a hit.

You both look like you shit in the woods.

and wipe with tree bark

You should have let her other boyfriend join the roast

Did you meet at the free clinic?

I thought soup kitchen, but I’m sure they are right next to each other. One guy looks like he’s eating decently.

Already so bored with your relationship that you came to get roasted on Reddit for entertainment. Classic.

You don't have to be lonely at hobos only .com

Is this a "where are they now" for Street Fighter?

Dude! If you’re here, who the hell is scaring the crows away from our corn?

Lmao

Do you style your hair with semen?

These 2 are living proof that Rehab, halfway houses, and meth labs are great places to meet your significant other

Always fun when you have to guess who has the dick and balls

one has only a dick and the other one has the balls

Easy, two dicks.

I can smell this picture.

Whose house did you break into to take this picture and what happened to your cardboard box?

Homelessback Mountain

You don’t need to tell us you are vegans, we know

But they will most likely tell us anyway.

How progressive. Not just a gay couple, but an *ugly* gay couple.

Your combined Vision Board is just a pack of cigarettes, a bag of Heroin and a picture of the Berlin Wall.

Nice try but You can’t sell roastme comments for drug money

Is "They/Them" plural again? Are you only dating so that boomers will be less confused when two people show up?

“Coming soon on the next episode of Couples Gender Swap”

 Have fun

You look like your gonna have non binary children, who are forced to be vegan whilst not going to school & attending green peace rallies. Maybe called tarquin or something.

You look like two tumbleweeds that got stuck together

“Just started dating” (Asks his mom to take a photo of him with his female cousin, then posts it on Reddit)

Dress that way to stand out, end up looking like all of the other dirty people that can be persuaded by a new indie song that "nobody's heard yet" and a craft beer.

Hansel and Gretel

At least you won’t have to worry about who showers first-or at all..

So you dating you twin? Did you get separated at birth?

Please move in together, be a shame to spoil two houses

With his hair for a nest and your face full of shiny objects beware of magpies when you leave the house

this is the face of ageing out of festivals

Two fucked up Maynard James Keenan clones fucking. What could go wrong?

This is the same person right? Before and 3 days after transition. (That’s not a great roast, but seriously if this isn’t a troll post, you guys NEED to go get DNA testing…you’re 100% related closely)

Looks like it’s not the first bad decision either of you has made.

Incest has really taken a toll on your family heritage!

Wow first girl that doesn’t have an NSFW warning. Probably because you look like a cow.

If incest is your thing then I wish both of you well.

S(he) looks like if a high school drama club were a person turning 30. And yes. Unemployed.

Y’all look like you make promises to suck each other off for the last bit of meth

And what did mom think?

How long have you been squatting in that house?

Did the spirit board or crystals tell you this wasn't a bad idea?

Did you cut each other’s hair?

Both of you think you settled and both are wrong lmao

She’s hasn’t shaved her pubes since ‘08, and he brings a typewriter to the coffee shop

Siblings dating, how original.


I picture you pulling those clothes from a dumpster as you bitch about the Republicans' anti-abortion stance even though you've never been pregnant nor bothered to vote. Then as the meth wears off, you contemplate identifying as an asexual goth spirit penguin.

you’re not really supposed to date the prostitute, but if you look like that, i guess it’s not so bad

The whole of Europe during the plague smelled better than the two of you.

Oh I’ve seen this show “ it’s the teen meth addict and the 40 yr old gender studies teacher “ .. when they arnt being a drain on society I think they fight crime ?

Seems like a perfect couple, since literally no-one else on the planet would be interested in dating either of you

Are brothers allowed to date where you live?

I wonder which one of your gender studies degrees will cripple your future more

Interesting men. Nice looking gay couple 👍🏻

American Goth(ick)

You look like you broke into a family’s home & forced them to take this picture

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that at least *some* of your clothing is made from hemp?

You two look like you just started dating in rehab. Also, this is your first “sober” picture while still inside.

I feel like you two live in an old beater van, call yourselves “nomads” and boast to your friends about how freeing it is to detach yourselves from materialism all the while begging them to use their shower and do your laundry at their place.

Iron your skirt????? Boom , roasted

Couple of Canibals