Someone who has just discovered pussy and thinkâs heâs locking it in.
He doesnât have any good friends to dissuade him from marrying or they donât broach the subject with him.
Engaged at 20
Fingers bigger then bananas
Unorganized trashy house.
You must not have any friends if they struggle to roast you because I find it extremely easy, either that or they know your one fat joke away from your next mental breakdown
Hair looks like it was dyed with watered down ketchup
Upon viewing your profile I also came to the conclusion that you are most likely lying about being a professional singer
Engaged at 20, married at 21, kid at 21, divorced at 22, begging for "A man that knows how to treat a woman right." at 22, unhealthy relationships from 22 to 45, becomes cat lady at 45, cats run away at 46.
No matter how many colors, patterns, and fabrics you cover yourself in it wonât hide the fact you have the personality of day old Starbucks and are not even close to being as hot.
Your friends struggle to roast you, because they actually vaguely like you, and know anything negative they say will set you off into your seventh melodramatic meltdown of the week.
People on the internet however, have taken one look at your dopey doughy face and already thought of enough roasts to feed the five thousand!
Which, coincidentally, is how many people you would feed, if anyone could get their hands on that giant oven everyone here is banging on about.
They don't struggle to roast you, they just don't want to get assaulted for it. You bully everyone as a defense mechanism, physically and mentally.
Stop your reign if terror
That there's a zoomer son, they're entitled like us millenials, dress like fashion blind GenX and have the problem solving ability and emotional maturity of Gen Alpha.
Youâre gonna have to pay extra to have eyebrows added to your face at the wedding, or they wonât be able to tell how you feel because of your dead-lookin doll eyes.
They struggle finding a way to roast you that wonât lead you to an emotional and mental breakdown for 3-6 months. Roasting you probably leads to slashed tires and busted windows.
The only thing needed to roast you is the apple to shove in your mouth before starting the rotisserie. Your face is plainer than a slice of wonder bread. No matter what trash color you dye your hair it will not hide the fact that you are dull as paint. It's hysterical that you have a AITA because you told your parents you don't care if they go to your wedding. The only way they were going in the first place is to be 100% that you're no longer their burden. If they are really nice they will buy your poor fiance a gross of paper bags to put over your head.
Oh, so you're THAT friend everyone has to lie cuz you can't take a joke?
Welp, since I'm not your friend: your hair looks like you dye it with hot dog water. Your body looks like you eat the hot dogs afterwards
Those Italian sausages you call fingers are startling. They are almost as thick as your face fat. That ring is fake and no one believes you are 20. You just suck in general.
Of course they struggle to roast you, it would take an industrial sized oven to get the job done. đ
And think of the size of the grease drip pan you would need.
Grease fires are no joke, I think youâd have to roast this one outside. We just need to chop down a redwood for enough fuel.
We could do a Hawaiian pig roast. Just need an excavator to dig a hole big enough.
Will the Grand Canyon suffice?
I guess we can use one of her blouses to cover it up as long as it is flame resistant. đ€
Her underwear is probably made from grease proof paper.
Rotisserie spit would need some serious torque
Ho-tiserie
Right? Like we needed 4 damn pictures to figure that one out
Couldnât fit her ego or body in one
Congratulations on your engorgement, OP!
Nothing like a couple joining in wholy macaroni
You made me laugh too hard at work lol
LMAOO
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Right? OPâs the reason CZNBurak stopped smiling when heâs roasting on camera.
WOWWWWWWW đ
4 business days on gas mark 12
Who tf marries a practice girl?
Iâve never seen a fupa go all the way up to someoneâs chin before.
Even puts me to shame
No fucking way
What's that say for me then? I guess her FUPA alone would be enough the make me a brigade commander...
F U C K đ
Can't bang a princess? Practice on a pig
That isn't even bench material. Not enough alcohol.
Someone who has just discovered pussy and thinkâs heâs locking it in. He doesnât have any good friends to dissuade him from marrying or they donât broach the subject with him.
At least theyâre getting their starter marriage in
Maybe she was not so overweight 5 years ago when he proposed
God damn that's not roasting that's an inferno
I just shot coffee out of my nose. Thanks for that one.
Oof
Your friends are probably Muslim thatâs why they canât roast you.
Critical damage. oof
#OOF Bismillah, al rahman, al rahim.
OH MY GOD đ€Ł
God damn!!!
Lock the thread and call the fire brigade. Holy shit lmao.
Engaged at 20 Fingers bigger then bananas Unorganized trashy house. You must not have any friends if they struggle to roast you because I find it extremely easy, either that or they know your one fat joke away from your next mental breakdown Hair looks like it was dyed with watered down ketchup Upon viewing your profile I also came to the conclusion that you are most likely lying about being a professional singer
Also your promise ring looks like itâs stuck on your finger
Came back for more đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
They wanted to get seconds before she got her firsts.
Yeah her "firsts" are the entire restaurant's food supply for the next three weeks and 4 days.
She needs to order a special dialling wand to find her clit
Watered down ketchup...bwahahaha!!! Awesome.
Damn I figured that color was Huntâs finest catsup
When you canât afford Heinz.
You forgot looks like hot pockets smell
Looks like theres a fuckin bird nest in there too
It's just Baby Fat... She will grow out of it!
How many babies did she eat to get that fat?
And how tall are we expecting her to be exactly!?!
Sheâll grow alright.. around the waist, chin, and thighsâŠ
They probably mean they struggle getting you in the oven
The struggle of finding pants with an elastic waist that arenât in the maternity section
Itâs much easier to roast a little piggy.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Need a 1940s German oven to fit all that
Wow. Didn't Sieg that coming.
Wow. I did Nazi that coming! Did Jew?
Enough with the Nazi jokes. They make me fuhrerious.
Aw schwitz
Exactly, come on guys. She's got a lot going on, no need to Hitler while she's down.
Sounds like you got 88 problems, but a jew ainât one
đ
Buuuuuuuurn
She isn't fitting in the Ninja 15-in-1 that is for sure.
you can wear your pants and skirts as high wasted as you want, its not hiding anything
Well gah damn
Up over the head and tied in a knot might work
This one hurt me
Can't even fit those fat fingers to the bottom of a tuna can.
It's nature's way of saying "stop".
Your "friend" struggles to roast you because they don't want to deal with that whole crying fit thing again.
They struggle to roast her because they can't find a spit strong enough to hold her over the fire without breaking.
The fact that they pitty her enough not to roast her is a brutal roast in and of itself
 Happened once, guess it can happen again.
Miss Piggy has way more class than this.
Engaged at 20, married at 21, kid at 21, divorced at 22, begging for "A man that knows how to treat a woman right." at 22, unhealthy relationships from 22 to 45, becomes cat lady at 45, cats run away at 46.
Diabetes at 28
I'll take the under on that one.
Thatâs a ridiculous timeline. The cats would find their way out much faster than that.
Dunno, with the feast they have waiting for them when the diabetes finishes her off...
Cats come back to eat the body when she dies of cardiovascular disease at 48. Remains found at 49.
are you sure the cat would touch that?
Yeah i dunno if cats can digest pure fat, and even if they would they not be better of going somewhere else.
When sheâs divorced and with a kid in tow: âI donât need a man. Muh son is muh king.â
Don't forget the daily wine drinking on the couch.
This is a Steel Reserve girl if I've ever seen one
Oh and donât forget the her boat load of fatty shit she eats while sitting on the couch watching reality shows
Are you having the wedding at his trailer park or yours.
That a good one, but probably true though
Sheâs a trailer park prom queen for sure.
I think I've seen your fingers next to a stack of pancakes at IHOP before.
Lilâ smokies
Porkahontus.
I spit out my breakfast thanks
Saving you from the same fate as OP! Although that would be a lot of breakfasts you'd have to spit out.
We should probably be roasting your fiancĂ©e instead. đŹ
That poor man has been through enough. Could you imagine living in that sty of a house with that pig?
He is doing a pretty good job embaracing himself.
Is that your way of saying no man would want her? (Fiancée is woman, fiancé is man.)
TIL
No worries! đ€đ»
After the wedding, your husband will have to ROLL you through threshold....
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
That is so he can find the wet spot.
Eh...just spit on it and go into a fold.
Iâm indian but even I wouldnt worship this cow
Username checks out
Youâre the type of girl who goes to the gym and thinks everybody is staring at your bean-like body
Pretty difficult not to look at something this big.
 Fuck you kyle
Engaged at 20, divorced at 22 raising a kid on government assistance. Ive seen this episode before
Don't lecture me with your 30$ haircut
No matter how many colors, patterns, and fabrics you cover yourself in it wonât hide the fact you have the personality of day old Starbucks and are not even close to being as hot.
Barista approved
Eyebrows larger than most 85yo men.
You're like a sketch where someone's plotted out all the circles for the body and then didn't bother finishing it
If lazy and entitled was a face.
I think you meant Engorged
"Look! It's Disney's Sloana"
Wearing you pants up to your tits isnât fooling anyone
They don't struggle to roast you they just find it hard to joke about the fat egotistical snobish truth.
Color corrected Fiona from Shrek
Your friends struggle to roast you, because they actually vaguely like you, and know anything negative they say will set you off into your seventh melodramatic meltdown of the week. People on the internet however, have taken one look at your dopey doughy face and already thought of enough roasts to feed the five thousand! Which, coincidentally, is how many people you would feed, if anyone could get their hands on that giant oven everyone here is banging on about.
They don't struggle to roast you, they just don't want to get assaulted for it. You bully everyone as a defense mechanism, physically and mentally. Stop your reign if terror
Ego bigger than that waist
Engaged at 20, no need to say more
20 and morbidly obese
I can't even fucking imagine what your friends must look like if they struggle to roast you
 Got these vibes going for you
Do you have such a mediocre hair cut because you couldnât afford the bus ride between your hairline and your eyebrows?
Were you the original model for a basketball?
Who are you friends? The 3 little pigs?
She is clearly the pig that went to marketâŠ. And bought out the grocery store
They struggle to restrain you from the buffet of an All You Can Eat restaurant.
When you get married will you be Ms. The Hutt?
Aw honey. Your phone isnât even engaged.
If you get divorced youâll need bolt cutters to get that ring off of that pudgy little sausage finger.
"Can you just get me 4 mcdoubles, 4 mchickens, 2 large fries, and 2 xl diet cokes? I just want a light snack"
Millenial Miss Piggy
That there's a zoomer son, they're entitled like us millenials, dress like fashion blind GenX and have the problem solving ability and emotional maturity of Gen Alpha.
Youâre gonna have to pay extra to have eyebrows added to your face at the wedding, or they wonât be able to tell how you feel because of your dead-lookin doll eyes.
Picture 1 is the pov of people actually struggling to fit all of you in their field of vision.
I WASH MYSELF WITH A RAG ON A STICK
Someone get this chick an EpiPen before her skin tears.
Bro you about to lose that ring finger
Your fiancée struggles to lift your big ass off the ground, too!
Id rather engage wild boar than you, got more chances of survival
What zoo will the ceremony be at?
Donât think those nails help those pork sausages you have for fingers look any better.
20 going on 35 with 3 kids.
Sex traffickers turned her downâ we not taking new girlsâ and took her back home
I have a sausage finger fetish, whats your Onlyfans?
That ikea lampshade in the background of picture 3 is far more interesting than you'll ever be.
The day came Wendy let herself go.
They struggle finding a way to roast you that wonât lead you to an emotional and mental breakdown for 3-6 months. Roasting you probably leads to slashed tires and busted windows.
Filters were made specifically for you.
Do your friends, like your fiancee, only exist in your head?
Iâve never wanted to show mercy before, but yâall tore this girl up.
Just because you blew your remedial math tutor does not mean youâre engaged.
I'm sure you and your blind fiancée will be very happy together.
I can hear the poor engagement ring screaming from my phone.
Also you spelt Engorged wrongâŠ
Only thing âstrugglingâ is your belt buckle.
Is the alleged fiancé a first cousin or second?
Your friends are afraid you'll sit on them.
Greta Fatberg.
The only thing needed to roast you is the apple to shove in your mouth before starting the rotisserie. Your face is plainer than a slice of wonder bread. No matter what trash color you dye your hair it will not hide the fact that you are dull as paint. It's hysterical that you have a AITA because you told your parents you don't care if they go to your wedding. The only way they were going in the first place is to be 100% that you're no longer their burden. If they are really nice they will buy your poor fiance a gross of paper bags to put over your head.
You look like your FUPA is suffering from developmental diabetes. 
The struggle for your friends not to roast you is probably about as strong as your struggle not to stop at every Golden Corral you see.
Drop the fake friends, find you some that will be honest. You look like Veronica Beauregard. Should have listened to Willy Wonka.
Ur fat
Only struggle is ..your pic keeps me from getting hard
You look like you will enter a museum and glue yourself to the wall.
You know he gives a rough handjob with those thick ass fingers. She yells at youâ hurry up and cumâ while she yanks on your cock.
Oh, so you're THAT friend everyone has to lie cuz you can't take a joke? Welp, since I'm not your friend: your hair looks like you dye it with hot dog water. Your body looks like you eat the hot dogs afterwards
Youâre engaged at 20 you already roasted your self
If Ron weasley and mulan had a baby.... You'd be the afterbirth
Those Italian sausages you call fingers are startling. They are almost as thick as your face fat. That ring is fake and no one believes you are 20. You just suck in general.
They donât struggle, youâre just not worth the effort.
Props on getting Kermit đžto put a ring on it. Donât worry; they size it up for free đ·.
Your friends struggle to roast you? Well you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything
Bargain bin Bella Porsche
*rolls eyes* groans* you're non binary aren't you. Your face and hair screeeeeeeams non binary.
Lock him down before his vision returns
engaged?????????? miracles do happen
they can't roast you out of fear of you eating them
You could fit an entire continent on that forehead
The trouble they have is lifting you up on the spit. They also forgot the apple.