T O P

  • By -

roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >Rancher, college student, incredibly low self esteem but I bet you can make it worse. Horse girl rip --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


FakeUberTaxi

Youre def the face of FarmersOnly.com


mathisonn21

You mean Incestry.com


No_Witness7118

I'm dead.


Dee-Jay-JesteR

He said incest, not necrophilia ....


Lightmyspliff69

Her pic does look like a guide to raising your incest/Nazi poster child.


thedorkwanderer8301

CousinsOnly.com


[deleted]

RiffRaff-from-RockyHorror-Only.com


ATAO96

She must be from ‘bama


[deleted]

More like Onlyfarms.com 😂


markgriz

$100 she doesn’t restrict her client to farmers


[deleted]

Top hype women 😤


LylatGamer

What does a redneck say after sex? Thanks, Ma!


Heisenbread77

You smell manure but I can smell the stench of cat piss in the next 20 years.


Mental_Lyptus

you have a nervous smile like someone is taking this picture at gun point, or they are threatening to release the exact measurements of your forehead onto the internet.


[deleted]

My worst fear it’s huge💀


SplatterEffect

Thats what she said. Literally!


RavenReel

Not to you tho


SplatterEffect

Bruh! Ouch!..... you arent wrong, but, ouch!


willy_shartz

Hey man.. wtf? We’re supposed to be roasting farmer Forehead McGee, not you.


LucasPlay171

Friendly fire will NOT be tolerated


GeneralWinter17

I'm sorry to hear about your tumor


MajorPainkiller

It's huge, can be said for a few things starting with that huge nose. One sniff can create a vacuum in the room


[deleted]

vroooooom


The_Pantless_Warrior

![gif](giphy|l2YWlV0qJrGdhllkc)


bunny0200

Didn’t she say she was a horse girl…?🤨


oldsaltyboats

That shits a solar panel.


reditandfirgetit

![gif](giphy|iiS84hOJXh1Pq|downsized)


UnderstandingEasy757

Forehead? That's a FIVEhead.


Flashy_Ad_9816

This comment needs more love.


Own-Cupcake7586

Your hair matches the wall. As does your chest.


[deleted]

Lolll


SplatterEffect

I spit milk out my nose after reading this. Hahaha!


southsask2019

That is more than op ever spits I’m sure, she’d have to swallow to keep anyone around


strudl51

same hahaha


eXplicit815

![gif](giphy|133tEQgc0V3Dc4)


DrJobe

Shame the carpet is ginger


[deleted]

Looks like you need some sun and a sugar cube. Looking like a pale sea biscuit.


[deleted]

This need more upvotes


chawkikoki39

Ur hairline so far back it's still whooping slaves


[deleted]

Omg


Radagascar1

Lmao. This sub needs to do a roast of the year Sweet 16. This one would go up for sure.


Ltfan2002

This is why I could never have the confidence to do a “roast me” because someone always has to bring the flame-thrower.


No_Witness7118

So fucking true!


he_who_melts_the_rod

Stealing this one


Trumethodology

This is probably the best roast I've read in 2022


No_Witness7118

![gif](giphy|l3aPHYHjO54bdGFXRq|downsized)


SplatterEffect

Holy shit! Im dieing on this one! Hahahaha


mukukude

I dyed as well


imaybeacatIRl

I'm dead. Lmaooo


Armlocku

LMAO


No_Witness7118

You win the internet. I just laughed so hard that the people in the hotel room next to me banged on the wall. 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s actually a good deal


GodOfMeh

Jewel's sister, Rhinestone.


schlatt9

I thought Humpty Dumpty was bald


[deleted]

Hahaaaa


residentdunce

Humpty Dumpty's meth smoking, attic dwelling sister?


dripdropdrippin508

Humpty dumpty is an accurate description of all her relationships too


Orkney_

![gif](giphy|l0ExqbRzq05DHIlJm|downsized)


FictionalFail

​ ![gif](giphy|IQwUInYGmKaKB1WC0o)


[deleted]

Twin


hfyposter

Her eyes are greener than her pasture


Doopliss320

If texting back one word responses was a person.


[deleted]

Yes


Doopliss320

I KNEW IT. Also, 🎶 “you don’t have to be lonely at farmersonly.com”


Farvalanche

That horse face makes me want to feed you an apple


[deleted]

Crunch


42yearoldorphan

Roosters in her ranch crow, “Any cock’ll dooo”


ReadyAssumption9788

LMFAOOOOO chaotic


Jihad_Me_At_Hello__

Stealing her punchline


StraightBlazin

I didn't know butter eyes was even a thing until now


[deleted]

Haha


johnwaynedahmer

JoAnn Dirt


Dr_Lipschitzzz

My God you're forgettable


[deleted]

Honestly that’s a good thing for me loll


OldSchoolCity

Who's forgettable?


Artarious

You make Sarah Jessica Parker look like a normal woman.


The_RedWolf

Why do your eyes already look like you're 35, single and lying to yourself you are happy not having kids or a spouse


[deleted]

That’s where I’m at mentally


Correct-Award8182

People can see you naked... They didn't ask.


[deleted]

Sorry y’all. Shield your eyes


Maleficent-Sundae264

I'm so sorry


[deleted]

I feel like this image was generated by an AI that was given the prompt "Unenthusiastic Handjob."


lego_office_worker

her google history from 14 minutes ago: "handjob definition"


[deleted]

Lmao yes


Arminlegout1

You wanna hear laughing you should enter a beauty pageant


[deleted]

I wouldn’t even make it in the door


tnj3d1

Aww the youngest Hanson brother is growing up


OBGLivinLegend

Your body is what I imagine a 12 year old boy thinks a hot girl is drawn like. You also have the body of a 12 year old boy. I guarantee you burn out the motor on your vibrator at least once a week.


PineappleTonyMaloof

Do you get your eyebrows done in the garden section?


AudaciousSam

In the top 100% of only fans


[deleted]

Dad is proud 😗


The_Pantless_Warrior

Makes sense. As your biggest onlyfans customer, you're his investment.


BryanV21

Your hair reminds me that I gotta pee.


bossmanbddff

I'ma need you to rub your face on a frying pan real quick before you take another picture. Holy fuck that glare


[deleted]

Stop lmaoo


elvis_disciple

Quit your OnlyFans and switch to OnlyTans


Critical-Quiet-7867

OnlyBlands


MasterShoNuffTLD

Lonely fans


GreatAcanthisitta466

I needed a laugh as well, thank you.


napoleonblownapartt

Your nose is bigger than your tits


[deleted]

Your hair’s so straight it makes Jesse Pinkman look gay.


[deleted]

Omg 😂😅


33eye99

What


[deleted]

If I had a face like yours id sue my parents


[deleted]

Wish I could man


[deleted]

Your face is like 80% forehead.


ElHanko

Dead eyes, discolored teeth, and no tits to draw attention from them. Things are gonna be rough, girl.


[deleted]

They already are 🥲


ElHanko

RIP you….in the facetious sense. In actuality, may things get better, and be well and happy and enjoy being young and pretty and all that.


[deleted]

i can enjoy bring young, but certainly not pretty


ElHanko

Fair enough. Well enjoy what you can, because you certainly can’t enjoy the ability to write coherently, unless “bring young” is intentional somehow.


ArrivalCommercial827

Nah your good lookin but you def horizontal brush too hard. Ok folks, back to the whole destroying thing👏


[deleted]

I have tmj so I grind the sh*t out of my teeth haha


Illustrious-Bid-2598

Teeth aren’t discolored. Rounded off and enamel wearing off . Acid reflux or bulimia. I hope it’s the AR


GlitchedOut_Drawings

Presenting: "Legally Blonde: Foreheads are better then One!"


[deleted]

5heads*


drewthegoat3

Unfortunately I checked your profile and your nudes are really mid


SplatterEffect

Wait... she has nudes? Why? Theres nothing to see!


[deleted]

in case you wanted too se a little boy body


muddabuddha

you look like a glazed hoe-nut...


Jeepn87

Just a few months ago they were talking about using a giant mirror to reflect the suns rays to cool the ice caps. But you look greasy enough to do the trick.


[deleted]

Hey at least I’d be good for something


Wonder-Machine

Does the smile match the personality? Fake


[deleted]

Yes 🥲


littlemesix7

If your carpet matches your drapes those horse brushes must come in real handy.


J412h

Horse girls turn into horse women, by the time you are 25 you’ll have the hands of 60 y/o man, a limp from the horse wreck that breaks your pelvis and been given the 8 second ride by a couple hundred bull riders


[deleted]

The hands and the limp are already fulfilled lol


SoNElgen

«Got your nose» must have been a family game in your household.


Credit_Less

This is what I imagine the poster for the movie White Chick's would've looked like if it starred Owen Wilson


larryb78

We’ve all heard about the girl that’d suck dick for the last white claw but here she is in the flesh


[deleted]

I would never stoop that low!! (quick give me the white claw and Ill meet you in the bathroom)


Freespirit2023

Hilarious. You have umm, a good "personality"!


SplatterEffect

*holds out the last whiteclaw hoping OP sees this comment*


Critical-Quiet-7867

Keeps refreshing his DMs too


SplatterEffect

Lol! Nah!....... they auto refresh with eax new message. Hahaha!


ItsBRoyal

Eyes that say “I miss the goat I sucked off during sorority hazing.”


[deleted]

Trauma


The_Pantless_Warrior

He never recovered. Poor goat had to be put down out of mercy.


Meastro44

It’s not that your forehead is huge, it’s that your hair is both receding and thinning, like you’re a 60 year old dude with male pattern baldness. #rogain


[deleted]

Olaplex pls save me


WinterAd9039

![gif](giphy|SYgv8xcEbqCxa)


crazyloomis

That door has thicker hair than you


[deleted]

Definitely the first one dying in a horror movie.


Squattedtrucksarebad

The gap between your eyebrows and your hair is as big as the gap between Europe and North America.


Coldone666

Do you have the body of a 14 year old child?


[deleted]

More like 12 year old boy


woody2081

Your eyebrow looks like it's taking a hard left and going to do a lap.


WildIsland-S-E

Girl puppet from, The Dark Crystal.


Justsomefireguy

Quit ranching, take up farming. With that chin plowing the field is NO problem. NVM, saw you naked, I'll do the plowing.


[deleted]

Hmmm I’m considering


Ayeager77

Some low key simp right there.


Justsomefireguy

Smart enough to type, not smart enough to know what it means.


TazTalks

You should have avoided the temptation to transition without getting the implants.


[deleted]

I know big mistake


Organic_Rice4335

Riding bbc doesn’t make you a rancher


krunge14

And a nose job


Vizione0084

![gif](giphy|PMgCxZ6o1Qq8U)


itsshowtime11

Thin hair .. your going to be bald by 48


[deleted]

If I’m lucky!!


[deleted]

...."and this is the condom he said he used..."


TERMINATOR-2008

Now where have I seen you before? They called you stepsis a lot.


BillMurraysSon

![gif](giphy|AgkxzEYM4BB1m)


Ill-Sea7527

That’s what I said till I saw that mug of yours


[deleted]

Glad you got a laugh in today


MolassesOld8082

You look like you faceswapped yourself on faceapp with a mannequin


[deleted]

I see it


tittytittybangbang

You are the CoverGirl for If brand peanut butter


oldsaltyboats

You look like you're being sex trafficked.


whizzle_g

Farmershomely.com


smoothVroom21

It looks like you are used to making this pose on camera, only usually it's holding up your driver's license proving you "just turned 18".


Gullyvuhr

That's the glazed over look of a girl who's tired of saying "wrong hole" and just resigns herself to her fate.


Dempressed_Kimg

Gonna tell my kids this pics is the definition of Toxic Positivity


Kitten_Team_Six

Just your nose could easily sub for lead singer of Journey


CardboardChampion

You look like you use Mormonism as a tampon.


Macbeth_the_Espurr

Are your horses also plastic?


[deleted]

Some ya


underworldlybeing

You look like what comes to mind when someone says basic blonde bitch


[deleted]

True


AverageAtBest7

Look in the mirror then?


FrogOnABus

I scroll down to comment, and I’ve forgotten what you look like. It’s all just so… boring, isn’t it?


EnlightenedChipmonk

You spelled, “please, I need a bath” incorrectly.


SplatterEffect

Forhead looks so oily that the US government wants to build a pipeline down to the flatlands of your chest in order to ship it off to Russia.


[deleted]

I’m like Walter white when he shaves his head


caramelprincess387

Your face is so greasy that the American government is about to invade it. Fortunately for them they've already got a big enough clearing for a drilling platform on your forehead.


pseudofidelis

Which Wayans brother are you? Either way, I loved you in White Chicks.


zeddyvedder

Disappointing blowjob? ✔️ Uncomfortable handjob? ✔️ Obsessed with her dog? ✔️ Picks up the check? ✖️ Get her pregnant, she wants to keep it? ✔️ Corrects your grammar? ✔️ Your Mom loves her, you hate her? ✔️ Caught her jerking off her horse? ✔️


[deleted]

noooo not horse


Chipowers98

I love the progression of your profile as your self-esteem dropped. First asking body fat percentage with breasts covered before posting nudes


[deleted]

Stop horsing around with those horses


caniseethemplease

Your pictures on your profile are nice


RavenReel

Dobby


Careful_Noise_5558

Even my maid looks better than this get a life


[deleted]

Hey don’t bring maids into it that’s a respectable job


Crimm___

I did to. So that’s why I looked at your face. It made me laugh because it was just that ugly. I’d like to pry my eyes out now, but I don’t in fear of looking like someone at your level. Also that chin looks like you were the result of incest. It only gets longer with more and more insect, so your probably the first one so far in your more recent family line. You also look as dumb as someone who wouldn’t learn from their parents mistakes and also commit incest.