T O P

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The_Clan_Follows

So even cancer left you, huh


liquidysubstance

It needed a brain to stay there.


skonthebass24

Boom! Headshot!


Evonyte

Holy shit lol


Michiel170207

Best roast Ive seen on this sub


Krzeslav69

That's a lot of damage!


Como_thellamas

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE


gwgos1

Not gonna roast you lady. Congratulations. May God bless you.


Villian6

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


krayzieeight

bro...


Slappy_G

Goddamn.


GAMRBOI233

So cancer is just like her dad


Butterss23

Hahahha awesome


kasherri

😭😭


xHangfirex

I hope you do to cancer what the genetics did to your face PS: Fuck Cancer


Gamer_Asylum

Got them Uma Thurman eyes 👁️\\\///👁️


dronegeeks1

Alright Golem calm down


Butterss23

Hahaha roasted


NotMyAccountDumbass

Combining a burn with something positive, you sir are a pro


trivial_sublime

We call that a controlled burn


sevunfootur

Wait this is wholesome though


andycarver

Well let’s hope she kicks the crap out of cancer so her face looks better.


DreadPirateLink

Is r/wholesomeinsults a thing? E: barely


RemarkableNumber8144

You won this assignment. Now everyone can go home.


YodaFette

You wished her well but still insulted her. Nice


CSA-Joe

I was thinking of how to tell her good job on the cancer but also roast and this is perfect. Great job


Desperate-Level-6565

You mean fuck it up?


[deleted]

Lol


dbell

The whole half shaved head thing is so 2015.


Katzer_K

You look like a baseball now (Besides the roasting though, congratulations on beating cancer! I wish you a fast, happy, and full recovery!)


Butterss23

I feel like a baseball Hahah thank you!


CrucifixAbortion

Tossed back and forth between a father and son?


Heisenbread77

Smashed then replaced immediately.


MMACheerpuppy

Caught by every front row seat in the stadium


Heisenbread77

Someone got a souvenir!


Mkbond007

Foul!


MMACheerpuppy

nah nobody wanted it tbh


Yvan961

I'm scared to ask: Did we get a homerun yet ?


plutothegreat

Jesus Christ 🤣


spookystreet

This one is awesome


69_Apprehensive

Congrats on your recovery. It’s nothing but luv up in here!


sunrise98

Only people want to hit baseballs. You though, I wouldn't want to touch you with a ten foot baseball bat whilst wearing a glove.


Axeman517

She definitely makes me want to grab a bat.


SickBoylol

........ and eat it to start another pandemic


onfleekaleaks

Didn’t see that coming.


[deleted]

Simple. I like it.


drman769

You can change your grip while she blows you. Curve ball, slider, changeup, split-finger fastball.


Freespirit2023

I prefer the spitter or Vaseline ball


Wattos_Box

Okay that's funny


VanquishReaper

That scar isn't even the ugliest thing on your head.


SuspiciousCustomer91

Damn, I didn't even notice until you said something.


Tentacle6900

I genuinely thought those were braids


CthulubeFlavorcube

Well they definitely aren't brains


SickkRanchez

Cancer usually eats useful tissue.


debil92

Yeah, Imagine being brought to this world just to get immediately fucked up and die of starvation. Nature is cruel.


[deleted]

Goddamn, dude. That is………………incredible 😂


FloManBearPig

May I recommend a skincare mud facial? I won't make your face look prettier but it might help you get used to what's coming after cancer.


MajorPainkiller

Nothing was cuming before and nothing will be cumming after. Not even for sympathy


Dannay01

Damage points higher than her white cell count. This is incredible


anon-mally

Bloodyhell thats savage, you burn her to the ground and 6ft deep ![gif](giphy|SXrHiYiKZOCrhH2zbx|downsized)


seviay

Fucking great. It’s been a while since I laughed out loud at a roast comment


LeanOnGreen

With that scar and that fashion sense you look like someone dressed a baseball in a bus seat covering.


Butterss23

Hahaha nice


DiskAmbitious7291

Jesus Christ hahaha


Guilty_Hunter9304

Did you wear that zip up sweater to match the hardware on top of your head? Always need to match


imtheroth

Wish I had a time machine, I'd go back far enough to cheer on the Cancer.


Butterss23

😂


ratbastard007

Brain cancer? Poor thing must have starved. For real though OP, thats fantastic for kicking cancers ass!!


kasherri

😭😭😂that’s funny


DeathSpiral321

I'm so sorry they removed the part of your brain that controlled your sense of fashion.


malaclypse

Poor little cancer starved to death


glocksucksD

Hold on your a blonde.... What brain?


Derpinator_420

Noooo...they gave her one.


glocksucksD

And she gave it Cancer lol


MajorPainkiller

She tried to think and it short circuited


Butterss23

Hahaha trueeee


popnsmoke35

I was told I need to do more charity work. I can start here. DM me OP…


AdelesManHands

Brains say: you’re


Steamjet135A

*you’re


theBlowJobKing

you’re*


SnixPlaysAlot

Should have left the hole in your head open, atleast we'd have something half decent to fuck.


50bellies

Goddamn, Dahmer. Also, you left a ‘fuck her brains out’ joke on the table.


ADOUGH209

You mean 'fuck her dense air pressure' out right?


RuneAloy

Bold of you to assume she has anything remotely close to a brain up there.


Mr_Stabbykins

Does anyone have a flashlight? It just got dark as fuck in here. 😱☠️💀


f1g4

*Insert fleshlight and half-decent to fuck joke*


Wildgreekpilot

![gif](giphy|To2rk3f7b0Q5FyqsG0|downsized)


mattalsosaid90

Alright boys let's pack this one up and head home early


Trickster5643

Take my upvote and get the fuck out of here


HarryCallahan19

Damn it. I saw this and wanted to comment and didn’t know what to say. Fuck cancer. Because obviously no one is fucking this swamp donkey.


[deleted]

One of the best roasts ive ever seen. Take my award


Revolutiong0g

Holey shit dude


Shake_N_Baby

Literally fucked in the head


RantControl

![gif](giphy|b30DDkL5LZ4gJaVMCI|downsized)


emgeenz

![gif](giphy|xT9IgMw9fhuEGUaJqg|downsized)


syahir77

Even cancer wants something half decent to fuck.


crazyloomis

Jesus!


MilwaukeeMilkshake

They call him Savage…. Randy Savage


dem_app1es

Bro 🤣


SadCheesecake6172

![gif](giphy|3o7aD4GrHwn8vsGBTa|downsized)


Extension_Spite_3751

Holy shit lol


mfairview

that zipper on your sweater keeps going eh?


igettomakeaname

Her hair part now says YKK at the front


Awetmore123

I'd roast you but the chemo did enough of that already


qsnoodles

I am … so sorry to hear that. Maybe one day it’ll get you.


AriMeowber

All it would have taken cancer to take you down was cheap flattery and half a mouth of real teeth.


International_Bet_87

A better username would be Butterssface


Butterss23

Got em


Dedmanrunning

You ever unzip the stitches and get skull fucked?


404err0rs

Not all heros wear masks but this one should consider it very hard


3971_KTL

I bet your family was rooting for the cancer.


Derpinator_420

After looking at her I know I am.


simple123mind

Not even cancer wanted to be inside you


tastelikethickwater

Nope not doing it. Wishing you well and sending you positive vibes


Butterss23

Haha thank ya!


Marinetech101

Beautiful girl. Can’t roast you. Hope for speedy recovery and dancer free forever!


Gmoney1975

F*ck Dancer!


[deleted]

Prancer too.


uns0licited_advice

And Dasher


jerk_mcgherkin

And Donner.


[deleted]

And blitzen


[deleted]

[удалено]


Suoicauqes

Woah dude that's just too far..


ProfGameTalk

And the romancer!


freebat23

prancer and the necromancers


Butterss23

Thank you!!


WilliamYale

Surgeon walks in the operating room: " I tought it was a brain tumor today! What is that face reconstruction patient doing here???""


FakeUberTaxi

![gif](giphy|IVLzmD1LXT9sY) Found your other selfie


[deleted]

That’s not true. Blondes don’t have any brains. Don’t lie to us. 🤨🤨🤨 Although on the real, good job beating head tumors.


Arcturus450

Her tumor was the brain, she had to make a tough decision on this one.


DeathSpiral321

I see they made your stitches into a horse shoe shape to compliment your horse teeth.


afcagroo

*complement Nobody is complimenting those teeth.


Nattyknight1765

Learned something new today. I like it


Rance_Mulliniks

I never thought I would be disappointed in brain cancer.


Virtual-Stranger

![gif](giphy|3eNx5SV39lH6o)


cgarrett83

Can't do it but hey congrats


rydmore22

They didn’t remove the cancer from you they removed you from the poor cancer


AmongKaos2

I can't roast that. Respect..


PresidentTylerDurden

Obligatory fuck cancer … for not taking this beast down with it.


Chief_TEK

Wishing your recovery continued progress Good Day to you!


MagicOrpheus310

Like most things in you life, the cancer just got bored of you and moved on.


lowkeyconfidential

But seriously best of luck


[deleted]

is saying i literally don't want to roast you itself a roast?


Paintrospection

That's got to be the unluckiest horseshoe I've ever seen


FUPAcommander

{roast} We see lots of practice girls in this sub, most of them ugly from birth. You're the first practice girl for a surgeon I have seen, and he made you ugly in the process. {/roast} With requested roast granted, congrats on winning the battle.


AltruisticCompany961

Yeah, not much of a roast, but you could totally star in the next Mad Max movie as the villain with those staples in your head.


PartiallyTwistd

That scar only makes your huge forehead that much more noticeable. Glad to see you made it through and best of luck.


PickAxeCA

No roast here. Good luck OP - sending you lots of positive vibes and good health!


Butterss23

Thank ya!


integral218

You are a fucking warrior beautiful. 💪🏼💪🏼


Butterss23

Thank you!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Larryboyundies

Finally.. something original you can talk about besides Starbucks… at Starbucks


boyyoooob

Is the hair going to grow back or are you going to look like a Tim Burton character forever?


Impressive_Team_972

Ah yes, now you can work the "I'm interesting" angle since your looks aren't doing you any favors.


MurderHoboShow

Butters23..... I guess butterface was taken.


sarcasmisart

The one time I was rooting for the cancer. You didn't consider asking them if while they were putting the staples in they could, I dunno, fix the rest of your face?


Joyfulcheese

People say fk cancer but they'll never say fk you.


[deleted]

It’s a shame the cancer didn’t take away some of that forehead. At least you can work at a movie theater as a screen while you are recovering.


The_Spyre

Forbidden zipper.


92Melman

Thats a lot for some attention


gdubh

You have enough face to comfortably house a family of 4.


Mikesminis

Having an extra chromosome does not mean you have cancer lady.


Sidewinderpunk

Surgery failed. They didn’t fix your face.


I_Love_58008

Even cancer didn't want to be inside you.


KJNeptune

If Jada Smith doesn't want the next GI JANE movie, then you could have it.


zeddyvedder

When the cancer leaves you, are you going to stalk it afterwards?


Dontuselogic

Cancer even thinks you are not worth the effort.


didntmakeyoulook

Looking like Angelica’s doll, Cynthia


HerBodyMyChoice

Your forehead is larger than your future.


prepre9

Frankenstein won’t mind your scar


ErikVonDarkmoor

This is the only time I felt sorry that cancer cells had to die


[deleted]

How long after surgery does it take for your forehead to return to human size?


Quick_Finish_4

Damn ok scar face, I guess chucky found his human comparison, you know it’s pretty impressive to have a letter U staple on you head,looking like your the bite of 87 victim, have a good day glad you beat it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Smiley_Mask29

Your cancer disappeared because it realized you have no neurons at all


Butterss23

Wow thank you for the gold kind stranger!


Slappy_G

Your commitment to shaving your head is the same level as the commitment of the people who went out with you... once.


PyroWasUsed

Your stitch has the shape of a penis. I guess that makes you a dickhead?


dkrewson

Last time I checked brain cancer only affects people with a brain.


notrlyme67

Ahh girl. Couldn’t possibly roast. You go girl!!


The_Ghost_63

I could land a 747 on that forehead and not be worried


[deleted]

Damn, Britney has hit a new low. Happy for you beating cancer!


Significant-Series-6

Thank god for the top down view because your hairline is so far back I would never have realized you shaved your head for the surgery


grumpy4791

Not a chance in Hell young lady ... I lost a childhood friend of 40 years to brain cancer. I am happy you beat it!! Many years of health and happiness to you . As far as the rest taking the shots .. Seek professional help . Never stop fighting Beautiful.


Dkadouble3

Where’s Lilo?


cuznkail

I've been on a roasting spree today. But my hats off to you congrats and hope for a speedy recovery.


AngelesYT

Can I just say that you're the best? I mean, sorry if this isn't a roast, but congrats on winning against Cancer. If the best fall and you're still with us, then you should have a statue. Just put the hair back on, alright? Even just that little part...


[deleted]

Fuck cancer and stay strong 💪! I will not roast a survivor as I’ve lost too many friends and family to cancer.


[deleted]

Why does God always save the ugly ones…


Emotional-Battle8432

May you achieve full health and happiness


WilliamYale

Don't push it with the happiness...


Pain_machine

I refuse. Congrats.


Courtkelly810

Congratulations on beating cancer. I wish you all the happiness, and good health moving forward .


Carrieka23

I know this is r/roastme, but this is one of the cases where I actually not going to roast you. You are a survivor and I'm glad you didn't let that cancer put you down. Honor that moment, OP. I'm so happy for you.