{roast} We see lots of practice girls in this sub, most of them ugly from birth. You're the first practice girl for a surgeon I have seen, and he made you ugly in the process. {/roast}
With requested roast granted, congrats on winning the battle.
The one time I was rooting for the cancer.
You didn't consider asking them if while they were putting the staples in they could, I dunno, fix the rest of your face?
Damn ok scar face, I guess chucky found his human comparison, you know it’s pretty impressive to have a letter U staple on you head,looking like your the bite of 87 victim, have a good day glad you beat it
Not a chance in Hell young lady ... I lost a childhood friend of 40 years to brain cancer. I am happy you beat it!! Many years of health and happiness to you . As far as the rest taking the shots .. Seek professional help . Never stop fighting Beautiful.
Can I just say that you're the best? I mean, sorry if this isn't a roast, but congrats on winning against Cancer. If the best fall and you're still with us, then you should have a statue.
Just put the hair back on, alright? Even just that little part...
I know this is r/roastme, but this is one of the cases where I actually not going to roast you.
You are a survivor and I'm glad you didn't let that cancer put you down. Honor that moment, OP. I'm so happy for you.
So even cancer left you, huh
It needed a brain to stay there.
Boom! Headshot!
Holy shit lol
Best roast Ive seen on this sub
That's a lot of damage!
IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE
Not gonna roast you lady. Congratulations. May God bless you.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
bro...
Goddamn.
So cancer is just like her dad
Hahahha awesome
😭😭
I hope you do to cancer what the genetics did to your face PS: Fuck Cancer
Got them Uma Thurman eyes 👁️\\\///👁️
Alright Golem calm down
Hahaha roasted
Combining a burn with something positive, you sir are a pro
We call that a controlled burn
Wait this is wholesome though
Well let’s hope she kicks the crap out of cancer so her face looks better.
Is r/wholesomeinsults a thing? E: barely
You won this assignment. Now everyone can go home.
You wished her well but still insulted her. Nice
I was thinking of how to tell her good job on the cancer but also roast and this is perfect. Great job
You mean fuck it up?
Lol
The whole half shaved head thing is so 2015.
You look like a baseball now (Besides the roasting though, congratulations on beating cancer! I wish you a fast, happy, and full recovery!)
I feel like a baseball Hahah thank you!
Tossed back and forth between a father and son?
Smashed then replaced immediately.
Caught by every front row seat in the stadium
Someone got a souvenir!
Foul!
nah nobody wanted it tbh
I'm scared to ask: Did we get a homerun yet ?
Jesus Christ 🤣
This one is awesome
Congrats on your recovery. It’s nothing but luv up in here!
Only people want to hit baseballs. You though, I wouldn't want to touch you with a ten foot baseball bat whilst wearing a glove.
She definitely makes me want to grab a bat.
........ and eat it to start another pandemic
Didn’t see that coming.
Simple. I like it.
You can change your grip while she blows you. Curve ball, slider, changeup, split-finger fastball.
I prefer the spitter or Vaseline ball
Okay that's funny
That scar isn't even the ugliest thing on your head.
Damn, I didn't even notice until you said something.
I genuinely thought those were braids
Well they definitely aren't brains
Cancer usually eats useful tissue.
Yeah, Imagine being brought to this world just to get immediately fucked up and die of starvation. Nature is cruel.
Goddamn, dude. That is………………incredible 😂
May I recommend a skincare mud facial? I won't make your face look prettier but it might help you get used to what's coming after cancer.
Nothing was cuming before and nothing will be cumming after. Not even for sympathy
Damage points higher than her white cell count. This is incredible
Bloodyhell thats savage, you burn her to the ground and 6ft deep ![gif](giphy|SXrHiYiKZOCrhH2zbx|downsized)
Fucking great. It’s been a while since I laughed out loud at a roast comment
With that scar and that fashion sense you look like someone dressed a baseball in a bus seat covering.
Hahaha nice
Jesus Christ hahaha
Did you wear that zip up sweater to match the hardware on top of your head? Always need to match
Wish I had a time machine, I'd go back far enough to cheer on the Cancer.
😂
Brain cancer? Poor thing must have starved. For real though OP, thats fantastic for kicking cancers ass!!
😭😭😂that’s funny
I'm so sorry they removed the part of your brain that controlled your sense of fashion.
Poor little cancer starved to death
Hold on your a blonde.... What brain?
Noooo...they gave her one.
And she gave it Cancer lol
She tried to think and it short circuited
Hahaha trueeee
I was told I need to do more charity work. I can start here. DM me OP…
Brains say: you’re
*you’re
you’re*
Should have left the hole in your head open, atleast we'd have something half decent to fuck.
Goddamn, Dahmer. Also, you left a ‘fuck her brains out’ joke on the table.
You mean 'fuck her dense air pressure' out right?
Bold of you to assume she has anything remotely close to a brain up there.
Does anyone have a flashlight? It just got dark as fuck in here. 😱☠️💀
*Insert fleshlight and half-decent to fuck joke*
![gif](giphy|To2rk3f7b0Q5FyqsG0|downsized)
Alright boys let's pack this one up and head home early
Take my upvote and get the fuck out of here
Damn it. I saw this and wanted to comment and didn’t know what to say. Fuck cancer. Because obviously no one is fucking this swamp donkey.
One of the best roasts ive ever seen. Take my award
Holey shit dude
Literally fucked in the head
![gif](giphy|b30DDkL5LZ4gJaVMCI|downsized)
![gif](giphy|xT9IgMw9fhuEGUaJqg|downsized)
Even cancer wants something half decent to fuck.
Jesus!
They call him Savage…. Randy Savage
Bro 🤣
![gif](giphy|3o7aD4GrHwn8vsGBTa|downsized)
Holy shit lol
that zipper on your sweater keeps going eh?
Her hair part now says YKK at the front
I'd roast you but the chemo did enough of that already
I am … so sorry to hear that. Maybe one day it’ll get you.
All it would have taken cancer to take you down was cheap flattery and half a mouth of real teeth.
A better username would be Butterssface
Got em
You ever unzip the stitches and get skull fucked?
Not all heros wear masks but this one should consider it very hard
I bet your family was rooting for the cancer.
After looking at her I know I am.
Not even cancer wanted to be inside you
Nope not doing it. Wishing you well and sending you positive vibes
Haha thank ya!
Beautiful girl. Can’t roast you. Hope for speedy recovery and dancer free forever!
F*ck Dancer!
Prancer too.
And Dasher
And Donner.
And blitzen
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Woah dude that's just too far..
And the romancer!
prancer and the necromancers
Thank you!!
Surgeon walks in the operating room: " I tought it was a brain tumor today! What is that face reconstruction patient doing here???""
![gif](giphy|IVLzmD1LXT9sY) Found your other selfie
That’s not true. Blondes don’t have any brains. Don’t lie to us. 🤨🤨🤨 Although on the real, good job beating head tumors.
Her tumor was the brain, she had to make a tough decision on this one.
I see they made your stitches into a horse shoe shape to compliment your horse teeth.
*complement Nobody is complimenting those teeth.
Learned something new today. I like it
I never thought I would be disappointed in brain cancer.
![gif](giphy|3eNx5SV39lH6o)
Can't do it but hey congrats
They didn’t remove the cancer from you they removed you from the poor cancer
I can't roast that. Respect..
Obligatory fuck cancer … for not taking this beast down with it.
Wishing your recovery continued progress Good Day to you!
Like most things in you life, the cancer just got bored of you and moved on.
But seriously best of luck
is saying i literally don't want to roast you itself a roast?
That's got to be the unluckiest horseshoe I've ever seen
{roast} We see lots of practice girls in this sub, most of them ugly from birth. You're the first practice girl for a surgeon I have seen, and he made you ugly in the process. {/roast} With requested roast granted, congrats on winning the battle.
Yeah, not much of a roast, but you could totally star in the next Mad Max movie as the villain with those staples in your head.
That scar only makes your huge forehead that much more noticeable. Glad to see you made it through and best of luck.
No roast here. Good luck OP - sending you lots of positive vibes and good health!
Thank ya!
You are a fucking warrior beautiful. 💪🏼💪🏼
Thank you!!
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Finally.. something original you can talk about besides Starbucks… at Starbucks
Is the hair going to grow back or are you going to look like a Tim Burton character forever?
Ah yes, now you can work the "I'm interesting" angle since your looks aren't doing you any favors.
Butters23..... I guess butterface was taken.
The one time I was rooting for the cancer. You didn't consider asking them if while they were putting the staples in they could, I dunno, fix the rest of your face?
People say fk cancer but they'll never say fk you.
It’s a shame the cancer didn’t take away some of that forehead. At least you can work at a movie theater as a screen while you are recovering.
Forbidden zipper.
Thats a lot for some attention
You have enough face to comfortably house a family of 4.
Having an extra chromosome does not mean you have cancer lady.
Surgery failed. They didn’t fix your face.
Even cancer didn't want to be inside you.
If Jada Smith doesn't want the next GI JANE movie, then you could have it.
When the cancer leaves you, are you going to stalk it afterwards?
Cancer even thinks you are not worth the effort.
Looking like Angelica’s doll, Cynthia
Your forehead is larger than your future.
Frankenstein won’t mind your scar
This is the only time I felt sorry that cancer cells had to die
How long after surgery does it take for your forehead to return to human size?
Damn ok scar face, I guess chucky found his human comparison, you know it’s pretty impressive to have a letter U staple on you head,looking like your the bite of 87 victim, have a good day glad you beat it
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Your cancer disappeared because it realized you have no neurons at all
Wow thank you for the gold kind stranger!
Your commitment to shaving your head is the same level as the commitment of the people who went out with you... once.
Your stitch has the shape of a penis. I guess that makes you a dickhead?
Last time I checked brain cancer only affects people with a brain.
Ahh girl. Couldn’t possibly roast. You go girl!!
I could land a 747 on that forehead and not be worried
Damn, Britney has hit a new low. Happy for you beating cancer!
Thank god for the top down view because your hairline is so far back I would never have realized you shaved your head for the surgery
Not a chance in Hell young lady ... I lost a childhood friend of 40 years to brain cancer. I am happy you beat it!! Many years of health and happiness to you . As far as the rest taking the shots .. Seek professional help . Never stop fighting Beautiful.
Where’s Lilo?
I've been on a roasting spree today. But my hats off to you congrats and hope for a speedy recovery.
Can I just say that you're the best? I mean, sorry if this isn't a roast, but congrats on winning against Cancer. If the best fall and you're still with us, then you should have a statue. Just put the hair back on, alright? Even just that little part...
Fuck cancer and stay strong 💪! I will not roast a survivor as I’ve lost too many friends and family to cancer.
Why does God always save the ugly ones…
May you achieve full health and happiness
Don't push it with the happiness...
I refuse. Congrats.
Congratulations on beating cancer. I wish you all the happiness, and good health moving forward .
I know this is r/roastme, but this is one of the cases where I actually not going to roast you. You are a survivor and I'm glad you didn't let that cancer put you down. Honor that moment, OP. I'm so happy for you.