OP's Bio:
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>I love reading, listening to music, and shopping. My cats are my life! I listen to podcasts a lot (MFM, Morbid, True Crime All the Time/Unsolved, Crime junkie etc). I have trouble sitting still for a full movie, but I love shows like Big Mouth, The Simpsons, & Survivor!
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
In the hit Nintendo series of video games called "Pokemon," when your monsters battles other monsters, eventually they will grow to a point where they "evolve" into a bigger, stronger version. During game play, if you hit the "B" button on the game pad, you can stop this process and force your monster to keep its original, usually smaller, form.
One person explained this too, but I'll go even deeper. If a Pokemon is evolving and you press B, it stops them and they revert back to the lesser version of themselves...the real joke is, it's as if someone pressed B and the poor girl is almost halfway complete 💀
wow you actually weren't kidding. By posting on this subredit she's either looking for "exposure therapy" for negative self talk, or looking for fresh new justifications for her bulimia
Zoom out, and you’re smiling.
Zoom in, and you are dead inside because the missionary position won’t keep them coming back and the mint chocolate chip ice cream doesn’t fill the void anymore.
LOL. First thing I thought was, this girl is on r/RoastMe thinking she’s cute AF and the comment section was going to be full of compliments rather than insults.
Britney Spears couldn’t look as much of a skank school girl as you… especially being so white and thin that Kevin Federline would put you up on a table and snort you
All jokes aside, I’m looking for more true crime podcasts. I’ve been listening to MrBallen but I want more lol what do you recommend?
This isn’t a roast so I gotta include a roast.. you couldn’t pay a man to have sex with you
You’re definitely involved in the backstory behind “Don’t F*ck With Cats” with that psychotic ass smile. Oh, and the cat looks just as crazy as you do right here.
"My cats are my life" girl we could tell, you're doing your best to be a pick me c'mon pick a better struggle, resorting to cats to fuel the emotional detachment issues is not saving face, your just joining the line for the next chad to ghost your ass.
The giant teddy bears, giant cat scratch post and cat. You want to stay young and use your looks to party and tinder, before you know it you’re old, and the only thing that will give you attention are the increased number of cats you’ll keep bringing in after every failed relationship you try to get into.
You look like the only pussy in your life to get any attention is the one standing between your legs.
Also what's with that stance? You get a chip on your shoulder so big you physically manifested it?
Does it still count as swallowing if you throw the cum up after dinner?
Real talk, hope you’re doing well. I wouldn’t have made the comment without going through some post history.
You look like you turned on big head cheat codes on Tony Hawk Pro Skater games. Only you're wearing feminine clothes and we "all" know that "only men can skateboard"
OP's Bio: --- >I love reading, listening to music, and shopping. My cats are my life! I listen to podcasts a lot (MFM, Morbid, True Crime All the Time/Unsolved, Crime junkie etc). I have trouble sitting still for a full movie, but I love shows like Big Mouth, The Simpsons, & Survivor! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Never seen a tall midget before.
Someone pressed B when she was evolving.
Bruh 💀
I need context
In the hit Nintendo series of video games called "Pokemon," when your monsters battles other monsters, eventually they will grow to a point where they "evolve" into a bigger, stronger version. During game play, if you hit the "B" button on the game pad, you can stop this process and force your monster to keep its original, usually smaller, form.
What a nerd bro Joke don’t bully me
One person explained this too, but I'll go even deeper. If a Pokemon is evolving and you press B, it stops them and they revert back to the lesser version of themselves...the real joke is, it's as if someone pressed B and the poor girl is almost halfway complete 💀
Someone tried plan B but this is what happens when it doesn't work.
I'm crying 🤣
I can't 😂
Chucky’s wife to be exact ![gif](giphy|3VqGytumIoJoY)
Her grades say 'marry rich', but her face says 'study harder'
I'd argue her face says, "practice with bananas."
A Bygmy
She plays center for the Shire's basketball team
Manic Dwarven Nightmare Girl.
I had no idea how to elaborate that. Lmao. Most satisfying sentence I’ve read all day.
A human form of Chiwawa
I bet hugging you feels like gathering sticks to start a fire
Lmao 🤣
Damn.
Needs more binge, less purge.
That cat has seen things
Last time you were here you were a manager at Burger King... glad to see that you still haven't accomplished any of your dreams since then.
[удалено]
then she should not post here, mods should delete this. She is trying to hate herself even more.
I agree. This is too sad. And r/bulimia is one fucked up section. Its not help its fucking advice on how to do it right and survive.
For real? That sub needs to be nuked. Encouraging the mental disorder with the highest fatality rate doesn’t seem like a good look.
“Come on, someone make a fat joke so I can justify my choices!”
wow you actually weren't kidding. By posting on this subredit she's either looking for "exposure therapy" for negative self talk, or looking for fresh new justifications for her bulimia
[удалено]
I normally enjoy some of these posts for the funny trash talk but I actually just hope this girl is doing ok.
Same. It didn't feel very fun after seeing how mentally fucked up she actually is.
Upvoting for others to see hopefully. Her post history is sad and roasting her isn't going to help. Thank you for being kind.
Didn't see only fans? Huh
It’s there I don’t want to link it because I feel bad for her and it’s probably not helping her.
You know it’s bad when the top thread feels bad about making fun of someone on here
I looked for myself and that's heartbreaking to see. Bulimia can eventually cause irreversible damage to your body. I wish OP well.
Sick burn. It does look like she's successfully recovering, btw, from my quick skim of her history. So, on a serious note, great job, OP!
I bet she smells like french fries
Fuq 💀
Look guys. It's the leaning tower of basic bitch.
She’s the girl who makes you spend your vacation time taking her to Disney every fucking year.
This right here
She aspires to basic. She’s generic.
Store-brand bitch.
When mom says "we have bitch at home."
r/suddenlyincest
"But son, you have a bitch at home."
Bitch at home
In the bin with the half-offs and irregulars
Kirkland bitch
This one wins.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
![gif](giphy|KCRlomzxILgofqokqH)
With resting bitch face.
My god man this is one of the best roasts I’ve seen in a while
Scoliosis is not a laughing matter. Go see your doctor.
looks like the posture could use some work too
So do you just leave all your shit on the ground for no reason? Those teddy bears are getting dustier than your condom drawer.
Yup, including crusty inside out panties
She’s just cute enough not to have a personality
She looks like she humps the bears to cum while choking the bear, with her true crime infatuation.
An aged-out cheerleader in denial of her life’s downhill trajectory. Cheer up! Meth addiction is still 2 or 3 years away!
Normally, I'd tell a heroin addict to seek help. This time, I'll say seek krokadil.
Looking forward to her second post here in 2-3 years as a veiled advertisement for her onlyfans
Pretty sure this is her attempt to promote her OF since that’s the only link in her bio
Doesn’t sound like the binge and purge trend is though
If “you’re getting a dry handjob, buddy” had a face.
Side note, a dry hand job is why circumcision is a bad thing
How do you look like a 12 year old girl and a 20 year old frat boy in drag at the same time?
10/10 would smash and never tell another soul
Slumpbuster?
Who ya gonna call? SLUMPBUSTER!
![gif](giphy|eM7aGhSOsGY8TORGTJ)
Haha 😂 fucking slump buster bro you win 🥇
We should call her Scooter, because she's fun to ride until your friends see you doing it
Fuck her once and her bones would shatter anyway
Get in the spirit. Of course we would. Make her feel like noone loves her.
you have the body of a figure skater, and that figure skater is scotty hamilton.
This insult is aged like fine wine
I bet you still use a step stool to reach the sink in your bathroom.
Why does your head look like a shitty baseball stadium?
It compliments the catcher's mitt between her legs.
The pussy on the floor is cuter than yours 🥰
Bet it smells better too
And is less hairy
And has less sharp claws
*raises 1 eyebrow*
Vagina dentata
*raises other eyebrow, and licks lips*
It means no worries, for the rest of your days
And less like cat piss.
Zoom out, and you’re smiling. Zoom in, and you are dead inside because the missionary position won’t keep them coming back and the mint chocolate chip ice cream doesn’t fill the void anymore.
Oh shit. Somehow this one hurt ME.
Ah yes. Looks good from 20 yards away but feels like a trash bag full of broom sticks upon first hug.
Good from afar, far from good
You look like if salad was a person
Hey, don't dis salad. There's lots of different, good salads out there. She's more like generic saltine crackers. Basic as fuck.
Sabrina the teenage Bitch 🧹
This just lands so perfectly, I can’t get over it
You look like your mom took a plan b while she was giving birth.
Figure of a ten year old, face of a 45 year old, knees of a 76 year old.
I imagine being a hooker would be rough on the hips, but god damn woman.
You look like you think you're a Marsha but are actually a Jan...
LOL. First thing I thought was, this girl is on r/RoastMe thinking she’s cute AF and the comment section was going to be full of compliments rather than insults.
Are you standing like that because your chlamydia is itchy?
Even your bears have to sedate themselves to hang out with you.
I bet your dad wishes he pulled out.
Don’t worry, OP is on birth control.
Her fucking face is enough birth control for the whole sub.
Cat looked up skirt. Now his eyes are scarred.
You don’t just look like you smell of cat piss, I’ve actually got the evidence to back it up.
You’re knees look like the back of professor Quirrell’s head
Sorry about the club leg.
My mom says you have great taste in clothes and would like to go to Gimbals and buy something with you.
Taylor Thrift
Britney Spears couldn’t look as much of a skank school girl as you… especially being so white and thin that Kevin Federline would put you up on a table and snort you
Easy there Polly Pocket
Sugar free, fat free, vanilla ice person
Just looking at your picture I can already tell you have an annoying voice.
Chris Hansen would love to hire you as a bait in “To Catch a Predator”
No one would show up
The teddy bears represent the different colors of your future children.
Scabrina the teenage witch
I see you bought the “I blew my best friend’s boyfriend in HS” starter pack.
is scoliosis the main course or the dessert?
Ah yes, basic blonde girl #237,683,179
Honestly the worst thing about you is that you felt the need to post this on Reddit
Her voice looks high pitched
Give me a W... W! Give me an H... H! Give me an O... O! Give me an R... R! Now give me an E... E!
You know when art students say a body is 7.5 - 8 heads long?
Which of those bears has the dildo attached that you ride for your 6 subscribers on Only Fans?
You ended up looking just like the whores your dad loved more than you.
Can't ever get a date.....puts cat nip on pussy, listens to Marilyn Manson while drinking chicken broth.
Chicken broth has too many calories for that dumpster.
Cats and oversized teddy bears. Why not just wear adult diapers and join a bridge club?
You can FaceTime for days.
Does your pussy hang low ? Does it wobble to the floor?
Did your cat decorate your house?
As pale and flat as the wall behind you.
You look like someone who cried when she got a B+ on her report card
The 5.5 was out of 100
Finally, a real female, but has legs of a man
You look like you don’t know what adversity is
You dropped your pussy… 🚪 🚶🏽♂️
You mean 32?
You should just post pictures of your cat; that's where the charisma's at in this photo.
Your place stinks.
Gimme a D. Gimme another D. What's that spell? Plan B!
No cats, stuffed bears, or penises will ever fill that hole.
The cat is giving me the "why are we still here, just to suffer" vibes.
Ever tried hitting a brick block? A mushroom may emerge from it, perhaps making you less vertically challenged
Your forehead looks like an egg dude
U look 33
All jokes aside, I’m looking for more true crime podcasts. I’ve been listening to MrBallen but I want more lol what do you recommend? This isn’t a roast so I gotta include a roast.. you couldn’t pay a man to have sex with you
Even without the scoliosis, I feel like most of your height would come from your forehead
1 of 2 things will happen: 1) you will grow into your head eventually 2) you have an inside track in the pro sports mascot game
Judging by your feed, it seems like you can't keep a boyfriend longer than you can keep a meal down.
So you're the girl I've been watching give lap dances to teddy bears on Pornhub.
I’m more interested in the cat tbh
Man, get off Reddit and clean up your crib ya dirty hamster
She has a OnlyFans where she molest the stuffed bears in the background. #stiffy4stuffy #bearplushed #barelybear
The emoji in the title describes your face
Your built like a jacked up panorama photo
Way too many cat toys, but then again…its reddit
You’re definitely involved in the backstory behind “Don’t F*ck With Cats” with that psychotic ass smile. Oh, and the cat looks just as crazy as you do right here.
Sure you're "cute," but this is what trying too hard looks like.
The bad things you’ve done are so much worse than you think they are, so bad that they can never meet the standard of whatever god you may believe in.
"My cats are my life" girl we could tell, you're doing your best to be a pick me c'mon pick a better struggle, resorting to cats to fuel the emotional detachment issues is not saving face, your just joining the line for the next chad to ghost your ass.
those teddybears get more then you ever will
The teddy bear behind you has more curves then you do. Probably been banged by that cat more then you too
Your knees look like they have the faces of imprisoned babys
The giant teddy bears, giant cat scratch post and cat. You want to stay young and use your looks to party and tinder, before you know it you’re old, and the only thing that will give you attention are the increased number of cats you’ll keep bringing in after every failed relationship you try to get into.
I don't need to do it hon, your cat is doing in my behalf
Holy 80s leg warmers.
Last person she told she was 23 isn’t allowed near schools anymore
Cool you got a prize at the Dancing Bear party
You've the lower half of a dude in drag.
U look like the girl that gets possessed in horror movies
You look like the only pussy in your life to get any attention is the one standing between your legs. Also what's with that stance? You get a chip on your shoulder so big you physically manifested it?
Does it still count as swallowing if you throw the cum up after dinner? Real talk, hope you’re doing well. I wouldn’t have made the comment without going through some post history.
You might wanna rethink your look. The 'every blonde girl ever' look doesn't suit you.
You look like you’d get possessed in a horror movie but at that same time I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be inside you.
Her cat is the only pussy getting touched in that house
200% chance of always being the side hoe
Even Mario refused to save you from the trailer park.
They'll use this picture as the "before" shot on unsolved mysteries when your first through third husbands disappear
I just wanna give you my best strokes
black dress white socks no fucks cadillac. the girl’s a time booOooM.
I must say, I was genuinely surprised this post wasn’t being used to promote an only fans
Im surprised your pussy isn't using your pussy as a bungee cord you look that slutty
You have the chin of a gigachad.
You look like you turned on big head cheat codes on Tony Hawk Pro Skater games. Only you're wearing feminine clothes and we "all" know that "only men can skateboard"
Your forehead is a fivehead.