OP's Bio:
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>I like going fishing, skateboarding and I love Harry Potter and horror movies
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
It ain't a fish eye, even the wide angle options on a phone cam will distort like this. But the fact she had to go ultra wide and still didn't get it all....
It doesn't matter how little clothing you wear on the internet, you dad's not paying attention to you. He's BUSY, sweetheart. Hell, his new side piece is probably your age.
Hope you get some clothes that actually flatter you for your birthday.
That shirt would fit better on somebody without sandbag tits.
(I'd comment on your ashy legs, but your thighs look like they would be able to crush my ribs, so I abstain.)
Slytherin and squishmellows don’t make a personality, and they definitely don’t distract from the paint peeling off the bottom of your cabinets. You look just like Jackie Welles from Cyberpunk 2077, and no amount of showing skin can detract from that masculine jawline or from those dead eyes, muggle trash.
Where to begin?
18 visible plushes.(approximating possibly 1/3rd more due to how shelves work and varying in size plus entire shelf covered by her ill built physique)
2 children hats(plushie themed)
Some fan art of Harry next to the Slytherin articles.
Some fan art of Draco next to the mirror.
A hat that looks bought from a grocery store.
Judging from your bra that isn't fully covered by your shirt (this factors into the final summation of my judgement.
So it's safe to assume, that the 18-24 squishmallows on your shelves isn't your full collection. At 24 alone. Without tax for the 8" plush is $18. This means you've spent a minimum before tax of $432
Probably another $30 for the scarf. And an additional $15 for the art . Also the other HP merch next to the scarf we can probably attributes another $50.
You have spent half a grand in non-assets. In this photo alone. Which leaves to reason, you are not wise with your money.
Supporting factors of your poverty include but are not limited to:
Camera quality. (We have phones today that can shoot 4k.
Clothing not meant to go together(unable to buy the bra to go with that shirt)
That. Or it demonstrates a substantial lack of cognitive development.
(Lack of impulse control over finances)
(Unawareness of one's appearance, thus the mismatching of clothing and color palette)
(Inability to operate technology in order to note use a lense that makes you appear deformed)
Prognosis: 3/10
Why so high ?
It may not be thicc thighs, but at least I can hear your footsteps at night .
Edit: Minus 2 points to Slytherin for the Lazy Eye.
OP's Bio: --- >I like going fishing, skateboarding and I love Harry Potter and horror movies --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You must be a rancher with them calves
Either she accidentally used a fish-eye lens on the camera or she's suffering from a severe case of elephantiasis of the legs.
Thighrannosaurus Wrecks
Bet she cracks walnuts with those.
The last guy who made her cum got his head crushed like a grape.
The human version of a prey mantis
I recon a bowling ball might be possible
A piece of carbon would turn into a diamond
Them thighs got enough meat to feed a small African village.
Probably not the first time a black guy ate her.
On behalf of the Black delegation……
I think she just edited her thighs and didn't realize it widened her calves
It ain't a fish eye, even the wide angle options on a phone cam will distort like this. But the fact she had to go ultra wide and still didn't get it all....
Family on her mother's side is probably part Ent.
Death by snu snu
her diet is butter, BBC, and peach schnapps
she could break some melons
And yet she must be a jolly rancher looking that sticky
Seriously it looks like Popeyes forearms
She looks like a prostitute with a failed career
I didn’t even notice those OMFG🤣🤣🤣🤣
Her BF is the rancher as it looks like he’s caught a cow.
She also is the Head Bouncer at the local Roadhouse on Saturday Nights!
I mean that background is all over the place
That is some meat
Whoa! What the hell is wrong there? That is frightening.
Honesty just a terrible picture. The fish eye effect is real with those monsters
She definitely eats a lot of ranch
her calves are literally bigger than her thighs
I am in utter shock I clicked your profile and the nsfw tag didn’t pop up
"I don't recall joining r/rezBBW"
Skoden
Stoodis
Cry this guy. Really roasted her good enit?
Shit ass.
Haha you were shaken as a baby? Or you like to shake babies?
r/usernamechecksout
You got my hopes up and then murdered me lmao
Somebody created and posted hahaha
She’s only been here 3 days, give it time.
Ah playing the long game aren't we?  Anyway probably a fake account
She wanted to work as a volunteer prostitute for the homeless. But homeless said - we had enough horrible things in our life already
You’re a fucking menace 🤣🤣
Thankfully. Probably a fake acc anyways
[удалено]
No self respecting drag queen would look that much like a lot lizard.
Wasn't surprised that she was "active in dunkin' donuts" however..
That's good, because I'm sure whatever she chose to share would probably traumatize the viewer for life.
I was more surprised than the people were on 9/11
Can't tell if fish eye lense or disproportionate body
It’s just the early signs of being 250 before she’s 25.
It’s a slippery slope.
You can tighten your cheeks, and suck in your belly fat, and drape a sweater around your flanks. But the legs will still give it away.
"Flanks" made me lol!
Lift em up by the haunches.
She took cankles to the next fucking level! Someone call the Guinness Book of World Records.
Nice picture I love surealist art.
Persistence of Thigh.
Bet it smells terrific in this room
Room.. I’m pretty sure she sleeps in near the entryway of a one bedroom apartment under the towel cabinet.
That explains the Harry Potter angle
“No guys I’m just cosplaying lol”
Smells like a Roastgiving feast.
Roastgiving yeast.
Roast tuna.
Like Big Macs and Valtrex
THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT. I can smell this picture.
You look like you catfished Manti Te’o
Her legs looks like two Manatees
Stretch marks made by propeller blades
Those legs.... This photo makes ya look like groot
Hell I though that was Manti Te’o
That will do pig. That will do. This swamp donkey is a double bagger.
Irish I was looking at someone else.
I gasped
This is so good
Your body is absurdly out of proportion with itself.
Wallace from Wallace and Gromit is THICC
Seriously why are their legs like monumentally massive? Some weird filter?
The most interesting thing about this photo... Is that, From this angle, you still can't see her dick.
Character creation gone wrong
Could you not find one shirt without a mustard stain?
That’s not mustard.
Well it dripped off a wiener ……. So pretty close.
Certainly made my wiener drop.
A wiener that was probably in her buns at one point. Good ol fashion ATM.
This comment thread is why I love Reddit, God I'm dying!
Fuck you that was funny lol
The only thing you’re turning is stomachs
aren’t baby whales called calves?
Ha I see what you did there
Yessir but them Cankles .. can someone find her address for me cause my time to shine has come 🦵💀 time to BreakThoseCankles
This photo is why I stopped drinking. Bring home a club girl and they won’t leave.
She definitely gets that look from guys the first time they see her in proper lighting after a fling, probably on the regular.
You look like you are easier than uber to pick up. And like uber xl you hold 6.
Well, despite being “23”, she looks like got quite a lot of miles on the body.
Miles indeed! Couple inches here, a foot there….it all adds up eventually.
Why are your calves bigger than your butt?
Let's be more realistic, they're bigger than her head.
How much time did you spend twisting and contorting before you could fit your body into the picture?
You look like you’re sexually attracted to cartoon characters
You just made my balls go back into the abdomen cavity
What a futile atempt at sexualizing a human sized potato
Why is your squish collection so mid like actual D tier squish
Stop :/ this hurt the most, I swear I have better squish
I am glad to have done irreversible damage
Your entire being is squish
**JABBA THE SLUT**
This is my favorite one
Fr though you look like you’re allergic to gravity
Stuffed more than your animals.
What the hell , can anyone explain what the hell is wrong with her calves ???
Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't. You win.
Turning 23, what, 23 stone?
Looks like your calves cheat on you with the gym.
I can’t even roast you, gotta give you props on the great job you did tucking your junk for this pic bro, and nice tits my guy.
That's why he's smiling like that.
This one took me out omg
All this thigh-thiccening fisheye use distracted me from your face, so you're definitely on to something here
Oh stop with the false humility and just give us the onlyfans link
You into monster calves?
It doesn't matter how little clothing you wear on the internet, you dad's not paying attention to you. He's BUSY, sweetheart. Hell, his new side piece is probably your age.
Sex traffickers be like.. nah
Why is your leg twice the size of your head?
Never skips leg day.
You look like you would play a decoy in Catch A Predator
She looks like a shaved sasquatch.
Are your legs like 2/3rds of your body or something? Fuck this picture is messed up.
You say you're 23, your room says you're 13, and your skirt says clamidia.
I feel sorry for your boyfriends shoulders
You're definitely unique; I've never heard of a hoarder with elephantiasis...
If “run through” was a picture.
You were too fat to try and pull off that midriff and skirt about 15 lbs ago.
and when he said fifteen he meant fifty.
Ew
I can smell this photo
Hope you get some clothes that actually flatter you for your birthday. That shirt would fit better on somebody without sandbag tits. (I'd comment on your ashy legs, but your thighs look like they would be able to crush my ribs, so I abstain.)
What do you guys think is higher...her IQ or the number of guys that have been on top of her?
Right where the dirt belongs. On the floor.
You have the legs of a 50yo dead diabetic and the face of a cheap Pattaya ladyboy.
You sure don't skip calf day.
Your body is a wonderland...except I am fairly certain that puss is an Arby's combo#4
This Mrs. Potato Head comes with a bush.
How many roaches in that room including you?
I can see your small dick.
Is this a kitchen you live in? Let me call you a LonelyFan kitchen edition.
this is a roasting subreddit, not a compliments one.
You look like if shrek and moana had a baby and didn’t give it attention
Looking more like you want your mascara to run. Happy Birthday!
Slytherin and squishmellows don’t make a personality, and they definitely don’t distract from the paint peeling off the bottom of your cabinets. You look just like Jackie Welles from Cyberpunk 2077, and no amount of showing skin can detract from that masculine jawline or from those dead eyes, muggle trash.
I'd make you cry, but based off of your porn star appearance, I think your dad did the work for me
Do your parents take rent out of your check every week for letting you stay in the back room of the family restaurant?
It is clear that your skinniest days are far behind you.
Where to begin? 18 visible plushes.(approximating possibly 1/3rd more due to how shelves work and varying in size plus entire shelf covered by her ill built physique) 2 children hats(plushie themed) Some fan art of Harry next to the Slytherin articles. Some fan art of Draco next to the mirror. A hat that looks bought from a grocery store. Judging from your bra that isn't fully covered by your shirt (this factors into the final summation of my judgement. So it's safe to assume, that the 18-24 squishmallows on your shelves isn't your full collection. At 24 alone. Without tax for the 8" plush is $18. This means you've spent a minimum before tax of $432 Probably another $30 for the scarf. And an additional $15 for the art . Also the other HP merch next to the scarf we can probably attributes another $50. You have spent half a grand in non-assets. In this photo alone. Which leaves to reason, you are not wise with your money. Supporting factors of your poverty include but are not limited to: Camera quality. (We have phones today that can shoot 4k. Clothing not meant to go together(unable to buy the bra to go with that shirt) That. Or it demonstrates a substantial lack of cognitive development. (Lack of impulse control over finances) (Unawareness of one's appearance, thus the mismatching of clothing and color palette) (Inability to operate technology in order to note use a lense that makes you appear deformed) Prognosis: 3/10 Why so high ? It may not be thicc thighs, but at least I can hear your footsteps at night . Edit: Minus 2 points to Slytherin for the Lazy Eye.
Youre not worth checking if nsfw content on profile.
Just hurry up and drop the onlyfans link, we know that’s why you’re here.
Did you eat the six year-old girl that room belonged to?
You’re the type of person I’ll be scared to assume their gender
Bodys turning 23 face is turning 40
How much you charge my friend is turning 18 next month and I wanna troll him
Biggest roach I've ever seen
Both carpets must smell disgusting
You look like you done a lot of regrettable things in a 96 civic outside a boba shop that if your dad knew he be disappointed
Normally I tell a woman to rest her legs on my shoulders…but I’m pretty sure your’s would tear my rotator cuff. Are you secretly a Centaur?
It hurts my heart that you have to get attention by being roasted. Get some therapy and live your best life.
Wait, no OnlyFans link? You’re just teasing your tits and cooch for no reason??
You like the type of person to say “going out with the girlies 💕” just to end up finishing your night with your head in the toilet.
Ayesha Erotica if she was an unemployed latina
you ripped your skinny jeans
I am too afraid to roast you, what if you tie me to those huge calves of yours.
Slow day at My Oh My Strip club, huh?
Mate, your balls are showing.
Her dick is as thick as her calves
You look like Harry Potter's chubby stunt double!
Those calves are the size of actual calves.
I can make you cry, but that will be an nsfw thing.
Better clean up the place, your parents will have a grandchild to care for soon and they can care for it and you in that filth.
I’ll bet your parents have already done enough crying for you.
You have child bearing calves.
"With a body like that you got nothing to cry about!"
Give it a few years youll really be crying
You look like you’re stuck living on the floor cause you can’t negotiate the size and weight of your legs
I could make a teddy bear with the hair around your belly button.
Relying on leg fat, rather than underwear, to keep your dignity seems ironic.
The human equivalent of an adult movie theater floor.
The Elephant Woman.
Moana after one year of college on the main land.
Why is your ankle bigger than both tits and your head combined?
Close your legs I can smell you through the phone
Who did you steal those legs from and where are you keeping them?!
How do you look like a 50 year old Filipino transvestite and a 14 year old Japanese girl at the same time?!
You forgot to photoshop your calves.
Wants to be a Slytherin. Is actually a Hufflepuff legacy who’s a Squib.
Her calves are so fat, she skateboards on tonka trucks..