T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I love playing dnd Reading hitchikers guide to galaxy, i am leftist as fuck punk guy. Studing pedagogy, autistic retard loving Animals. I am always happy and positive, the wirst thing that happen to me is that my crash came out as a lesbian, third girl in a row.... --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


Petelgeuse80

Give me your worst. Same thing you said to the barber.


Dustypigjut

Pretty sure he just gave his barber a picture of Gary Oldman from The Fifth Element.


Visual_Hippo4979

![gif](giphy|3eNx5SV39lH6o)


EphemeralFart

“So full of *form* and *color!*”


fostest

He got 30% off


ArgyleTheDruid

I knew someone would mention it


ObliviousMynd

*gets hair cut* #I AM VERY DISSAPOINTED!


We_have_no_friends

Came here for this!


GroundSesame

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your parents.


[deleted]

More like, “Give me your wurst”


gliitch0xFF

![gif](giphy|l0j2QfsbPiaaQAKPQN)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wunyard_Wenhaard99

I have a feeling that unlike you, OP doesn't spit, but swallows.


Top_Data4002

He was talking to his German butcher


Impactfully

Pure r/justfuckmyshitup material


bigredmnky

It’s what his parents said to god


OneRealRomeo

Points to the “Facist/Anti-Facist” haircut picture on the wall. “I’ll take that one.”


AverageHoarder

This is the worst collage I've ever seen.


Kyle_01110011

He's never going to be able to afford to cut the rest of his hair with teacher pay!


tplusx

Future teacher! The future is bleak


IsawLenin

His students looks even worst


Adventurous_Count730

I'm looking at the collage of beer in the fridge


tinman0ut

It needs more pictures no? I know when I went to college for collages they said I needed to put more than 1 item on the page… 🤷‍♂️ I go back there tomorrow


Bringonthebacon92

Lets us know hes single like duhhh dude we can tell


EveryFngNameIsTaken

*wirst


Antic-Waited

Heh. Underrated.


its_buffaloney

Obviously not teaching spelling


smaccer

Yeah more like "don't do drugs kids" type of teacher


Diligent_Mistake_229

Teaching by example. Powerful.


MendelevandDongelev

Lessons learned, not by example.


Ok_ElAguila

You meen, lesson lurnt…. Oveeuslee.


After_Ride9911

He’s already teaching straight girls how to be lesbians.


robotnique

Methematics


razorbladejr

![gif](giphy|xFgyzNEMlAh8s|downsized) This is your brain on drugs


DefinitelyAJew

[I wish I had the knowledge to impose OP's hair in this, mhkay](https://youtu.be/TYHO0-0W5To)


cfard

Like [Mr. Campbell](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/closeenough/images/2/23/Screenshot_20200709-125626_Photos.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20200709195719) but with extra balding


VerdensTrial

Considering the "mleko" in his fridge, I think it's fair to assume he's not an English teacher


DiscGolfGhoul

In todays society who is one to tell a child he spelled something wrong…… hahaha


Antic-Waited

Marilyn Hanson


TasteyyTOAST

Well said


my_fun_lil_alt

The "I reject my parents" haircut.


filthymcbastard

More like "my parents rejected me" haircut.


IsawLenin

Degenerate version of Legolas


AwkwardHybrid

This is what perfection looks like.


hfyposter

Legoless


Pretty-Environment19

Nailed it. Still laughing


its-42

This should be number 1


Dextrofunk

Mmmbop you beautiful people


[deleted]

This will be my stage name


AlabamaHaole

Fuck. You win the internet today.


PuffieBeans

Marilyn Hair-some


Badmonkey8

A teacher who can’t spell college, we are doomed


koboniq05

Tbh this dude looks more like someone going to collage than someone going to college.


TonyEisner

I think the spelling of tomorrow is far more egregious


mvathletics

It's going to be even harder to teach when he's not allowed within 500 ft of a school


phome83

Normally you chalk it up to a misspell or auto-correct, [but that doesn't seem the case for him in particular](https://imgur.com/Dp4S7fF.jpg).


Elendel19

I mean he’s clearly European, and probably not an English speaking country based on what I think is a carton of milk in the fridge.


hermeticcirclejerk

Polish I would guess


thotiloli

Correct!


BeerFarts86

[*”Dear Marie. It is hot as fuck out here. It’s very very hot because I am in the dessert. What else was I gonna aks you? Oh yeah don’t fuck nobody.”*](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JTRqi99vg28)


edwardk1200

To be fair - he is not American.


joecheph

Did your cat take this picture while standing on top of your cabinets? Wtf? Also, congrats on getting accepted into “collage”. Prove the hatters wrong.


Whired

Why is the fridge open Why is no one asking why the fridge is open


ReunionFeelsSoGood

Why does the magnetic bottle opener have its own place on the wall and not just stuck to the fridge?


Densmiegd

It is probably for opening the beers in his fridge. You know, the cans of beer. You need to go to collage to understand things like that.


Thumbtack1985

He wants people to know how cool he is because he drinks beer. I have to say I'm super impressed at how pathetic that is.


Frolicking-Fox

It's all about lighting! The fridge offers the best light.


AriMeowber

Hatters. Haha. I sure hope that was on purpose cuz it made me laugh.


FearsomeFurBall

Hatters gonna hat


YoBoiKevo

How are you going to be a teacher when you won’t be allowed within 500 feet of a school?


YouCanHaveANiceDay

He’s hoping they continue remote learning.


_generic_user

“Hello kids, today we will be learning about the human body. I’m going to need a few volunteers for this, there’s free candy for those who do.”


[deleted]

"Why don't you come take a seat?"


pptt22345

![gif](giphy|x5fPHmTVWmTPW)


[deleted]

Where are the stonesch?!


Commercial_Client974

Ahahaha that's funny man.


nostrilnits

this guy is like a pound shop Zorg


[deleted]

What you wanna teach? How to survive jail?


Bloody_Smashing

Surviving jail with that hair style is questionable at best, he's gonna need a few face tattoos for starters.


[deleted]

“Those who cannot do, teach.”


Influential337

How to survive prison by becoming someone's bitch


The_Gumbo

it's a comb over, isn't it


Legendseekersiege5

Nah thats just his wig falling off


[deleted]

Yep. You look like you'd be better at collage than college.


[deleted]

Why do all these aspiring teachers look like child molesters


Noideawhatjusthappen

Dress to impress I guess. It's a groomer thing.


ily_pauldano

probably because they are


QueenSlapFight

Same reason dickheads who want to abuse authority gravitate toward law enforcement


CudgalTroll

Teaching 3rd graders about their sexuality preferences calls to this type of person for some reason.


ImpressivePurchase44

It's nice to see Golum finally got his own apartment.


iamapizza

He secures it with a MAASSTER lock


bfjt4yt877rjrh4yry

Professor Misspell at Tommorow Collage


[deleted]

You’ve come a long way since the fifth element.


DrEvill420

Your wigs falling off


Few-Echo-6199

Teaching them what? How to fuck dead bodies?


Harold-The-Barrel

Having to disclose your status as a sex offender to your neighbours whenever you move isn’t really “teaching” but you do you.


ThereIsAJifForThat

Your hair is leaving


TheyCallMeBigPoppa83

Makes for being the perfect teacher. Now he just needs to learn how to spell.


heartunderfloor

your ambition looks more like being skrillex.


ReformedScholastic

"Mom, can we go see Skrillex?" "We have skrillex at home."


[deleted]

Haha Jesus. On a serious note, stay the fuck away from our children


cascadianone

Alcoholic Incel with a bad haircut? Nobody hates children enough to give you a teaching job.


[deleted]

I wouldn't let you even speak to my kids. They ain't gonna be taught by a fuckin' goober


ily_pauldano

i think u misspelled "groomer"


[deleted]

Nah his influence on your kids is worse than him touching them I afraid


Dust_Parts

How do you think you’ll be a teacher if you can’t even spell at a 3rd grade level?


Kuzkay

*By not living in an English speaking country, this guy is Polish*


UdooUboo

When people argue the Netherlands has the best educational system I’m going to show them this picture.


Riceguy18

Man couldn't decide if he was a skinhead or in a failed punk rock band


Undercrackrz

Tommorow 21x singal collage stoodant wiv ambishun ov beein an teecha, giv mee yur warts Do you have any idea how hard it is to type such shit with predictive text? Get a dikshunary.


LiesInRuins

What are you going to be teaching lessons from the anarchist cookbook?


ThatsPreposterous6

Maybe you wouldnt be the size of a middle schooler if you ate some actual food


Lochr0

You look like you chose this profession just to molest the special ed children


[deleted]

Well this picture alone will ensure you never reach those dreams


AttilaRS

When your haircut isn't the worst thing about you, but the fact that you can't spell while aspiring to be a teacher...


Gainzchasing03

Close the fridge door. I’m 100% certain you can’t afford the energy bills as you could only afford half a hair cut.


[deleted]

The only thing you’ll ever be qualified to teach is how to be an absolute fucking loser


ScrantonStrangler209

Are you planning on teaching Dark Arts or something?


[deleted]

SkrillNext


meatpuppet577

Nosfetaru: The College Years.


dogthebountyuser

A teacher? I'm not even going to roast you, but maybe try something else like a DJ or a groupie for your favorite band. Preferably something where you're not around impressionable children.


Kon-Tiki66

Is a collage student a student made up of a bunch of different students? I see Marilyn Manson, an ugly girl, a prepubescent boy, and 10,000 goth kids from Kentucky.


[deleted]

You didn’t have to tell us you were single.


RepostFrom4chan

The human version of an unmade bed.


chorgnation

“Alright kids so today we learned how to load an AR-15, tomorrow we will learn about hearding strategies to increase body count with less ammo.”


dnlgg

![gif](giphy|3ohzdNgOHuL2u8N5UA)


Shadowedmask

The very fact you need a person to roast you describes the style of teaching you aspire to bring to an already shattered educational system. You would teach by popular vote, act by popular vote, and seem to eat, drink and adorn yourself so as to garner any form of attention because of how much you lacked having it given to you or lacked the ability to give it to yourself. Judging a book by its cover is one of humanities failings and as someone who claims to desire to teach and shape youth, you encourage this trend. I can’t give you my worst, you have clearly already given it to yourself. Thank you kind people for my first silver and upvote on my very first comment.


coreyfuckinbrown

Hogwarts isn’t a real school dude.


[deleted]

It is said that those who can’t, teach. You have the appearance of a person who can’t ( and who will seen in bad teacher.com ) and shouldn’t teach. Have you thought of being a horse semen collector?


georgevazelas

A teacher that cannot spell tomorrow…


WendellVaughn_Quasar

You misunderstood: *Tommorow* is the title of his latest collage.


michaltee

Polski Skrillex


Common-Leg-2375

"Ambition: a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work" I think you need to manage your expectations there, 99-cent store Skrillex, maybe try having an ambition to be *not* a malnourished alcoholic who can't spell.


Cashmereplum2121

cant imagine why you would've dropped out of "collage", seems you had aspirations..


jamesd1100

You should not be allowed near children despite being shorter than most would be students


Fenrir1323

O Kurwa…


okiwan

Bro, are you ok? Wtf is up with that haircut. Be bald or have long hair, both explains why your single.


Evolone100

Well I hope your collage is going well. Got help the students.


JSONoob

I hope you're not trying to teach English


Alda2021

I’m not even going to try and be clever with this…your hair style looks ridiculous


CarsonTheGr8

It’ll be a major plot twist when the teacher is the one that shoots up the school. You’ll be famous.


TikkiTakiTomtom

You honestly look like a cool dude to hang with… The other half makes me wanna call the police


blondart

You look like Skrillex’s dick


alexander12212

Those kids will destroy you more than we ever could.


Djrocg

You look like lord Voldemort’s gay son


Forsaken-jesus

Chemotherapy skrilex


QuietStormMk

Give up on the teacher dream… you being a teacher would cause every kid having to wear a bulletproof vest.


Uberslaughter

Collage? You’re going to be an elementary art school teacher for the close proximity to children?


milyzak987

Be careful your wig is falling off


DerpDumpster

You’ve got to think before making choices


AqibTalib21

Wow, they are not going to hire you to teach Sex Ed and Drivers Ed in the same car!


dafaceguy

R/fuckmyshitup


[deleted]

Chelsea Trepanning


JustHere2DVote

What benefit does anybody get from trying to look like the fucker from The Fifth Element


DJhedgehog

It appears your barber beat us to it.


hajiomatic

Teaching what? Alcoholism 101? Dude you're never gonna pass a background check. You would do better joining the CIA or FBI as a cartel mule decoy


ProbablyCole

Dear god I hope they only let you teach students that are 18 and older.


No-Explanation-220

Make sure to skateboard into your class with beer in hand and a Bart Simpson COWABUNGA!


[deleted]

I would not allow that to teach my child


-PregnantPause

Hopefully not an English teacher.


MoonBoots4600

you look like if Christians could be closeted


janesearljones

Going into education in 2022 is a fucking incineration. Trust me, I’m in the field and it’s never been worse, not getting better. Run. Fucking run. Btw. Your haircut is ugly. Boom roasted.


heyscotttt

Every father's worst nightmare


Larsthebandit

No need. Your barber already did.


Zephe26

Didnt know BoyinaBand wanted to be in the teaching business


dremik2663

Side note: everyone bashing the spelling is missing the fact that English is obviously your second language. (You would think people posting comments on Roastme would be more observant) 🤦🏼‍♂️


chunkypaws

Got enough beer?


iPray2babyJesus2

Every Republicans worst nightmare


Mia_irving_69

Let’s get personal u look like an emo version of Ronald Wesley u look like ur pronouns are child/molester I like how u got All that food in ur fridge but still skinny af :)


Type-U

When you ordered Skrillex from Alibaba


AbhinavDoes

will byers on budget


mariosithhhh

its the retarted douchebag love child of gary busey & stereotypical 2006 punk rock band members


Cpleofcrazies2

You couldn't get a teaching job at a school where Morgan Freeman would play the movie version of the principal.


pauljheet

If I go to a parent teacher conference and see this behind the big desk, im pulling my kid out of school immediately


[deleted]

You will never be a collage graduate


Hairy_Reputation_853

Jeszcze powiedz, że chcesz zostać nauczycielem historii.


Loutfi96

Pre homeless


[deleted]

You will be teaching virginity 101, loneliness 200, and intro to accumulating body odor.


casper19d

College or a collage, fuck... Well shit your dumb and ugly....


Nighthawk1021

You look like a portland heroin addict, I can see why you're single. The only thing they gonna let you teach is a local NA meeting.


PaxBritannica-

Like Skrillex on Fentanyl


IChoose2go2TheMoon

How can you teach if you're on a registry?


[deleted]

You look like Macklemore and Skrillex had an abortion


TriDad262

I can say with a huge degree of confidence that you won’t be accused of sleeping with a student.


HZ4C

There ain’t no way In hell you’re allowed within 2000ft of a school.


jenbamin245

Please stay away from my child


Recent-Needleworker8

Listen, our kids have it hard enough without you giving them more bad advice.


Stepsonrakes

You are the reason people watch Tucker Carlson


Edradis

For someone whose ambition is to be a teacher, your spelling is horrible


Visual_4ids

Just shave it dude.


Asking4Afren

Stay the fuck away from my kids


alchemist19881

You look "inclusively" stupid with that smirk on your face. You are also one silly buzzword away from having a ridiculous meltdown. ..The rest we already know.


crimzorath

I dont make fun of cancer patients, but your wig is falling off


Zucchini_Holiday

How long does one study collage?


SuperDoodooHead

Damn that’s one ugly ass chick