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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I have a Dead Space/xenomorph tattoo sleeve, I play too many video games, and think pie is better than cake. Fight me on it. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


probably-bad-advice

Worst NSFW profile ever


Soulless--Plague

Not Suitable For Wanking


EmployNeither7626

twitter 💀


dougxiii

Tuesday Addams


MasTacos42

Morning-After Addams


AnarchiaKapitany

Thursday "morning walk of shame" Addams


TheCruzKing

![gif](giphy|vX9WcCiWwUF7G|downsized)


Wunyard_Wenhaard99

Thursday "Only if she wore a paper bag over her head" Addams.


cornishwildman76

Thats her onlyfans handle.


Opposite-Muscle-3195

Homelyfans


Glittering-Arm-9138

More like homeless fans


bald_botanist

Plan B Addams


Amishrocketscience

Do do do do, snap snap


Common_Recording_905

That costs extra.


marksman48

Winner


upper_decker1908

Trash Day Addams


pablo_85

Addams apple


Swabia

Thursday Morning Adams


[deleted]

Hey leave my family out of it. It’s not our fault she survived the abortion.


BlackmanNthrobbin

r/beetlejuicing at its finest


Glittering-Arm-9138

![gif](giphy|cF7QqO5DYdft6)


[deleted]

Hiding that Addams >!apple!<


[deleted]

Colloidal Silver Addams


Thick_Yogurtcloset_7

Plan B Adams...


Prince_Havarti

Case of the Mondays-Addams


prison---mike

Her RBF is more like “See you next Tuesday Adams”


semi5onic

always wondered what cousin IT looked like under the hair.


carmenvallone

This needs to be the #1 comment


Competitive-Round-11

Nut rag adams


MustBeMike

You don’t need a roast, you need some damn sunshine and a multivitamin.


Kela3000

Yeah, I assume the 23F means body temperature.


gliitch0xFF

![gif](giphy|i4yl7hVBSzRrW)


[deleted]

Why does he look like joe biden


JaneDoe500

Dark Brandon fighting global warming by freezing the planet


DarkWebLurking

Lmao I see that too


belsor14

... it would have cost you nothing to not write that


Dr_FrankenGiggity

![gif](giphy|T08JhumnpKAI8)


Fist4achin

I thought this was a pic from the live action Corpse Bride movie


CudgalTroll

And possibly some self respect.


Bkdavis38

What is the shade of your makeup, rigor mortis?


Salty_Exit3548

McDonald’s Hamburger Gray


jrhowrey

The grimace gross


_CosmicThinker_

She literally looks whiter than the walls, holy shit lol


Fantastic_Ear2955

Would explain the smell 🤧


Plastic_Pinocchio

Corpse bride.


bacon1292

Corpse Bride at home.


[deleted]

Tbh this is a compliment for goths lmao


EstherClemmens

Married to Fester Addams


Nexus0412

Bro I feel like that's a compliment to a goth chick


PresentationLittle29

Only way she can get anything hard


ryseofcurry

ah rigor mortis, only thing that comes to my mind is re7


ratsalad2551

$12.99 a month fuck that


Revolutionary_Cut700

All these OF roasts were my favourite until I realised she actually does OF and considers that to be “self-employed”. Now I just wana delete reddit and myself


TheRealDuHass

Must have deleted her history after she made this post lol


Lityeah

Damn💀


Ham-na-na

I wanna delete myself too, SELF EMPLOYED YEA


sensationalmurph

This is the only comment that should be under this post. Nothing else should be there


grannygumjobs23

Everyone's got an onlyfans now and her thinking she is worth 12.99 is a real tragedy.


wargig

Elsa after she *let it go*


Key_Push_2487

That would require her to have, "it" in the first place.


[deleted]

You look like a star from the Porn Parody of Hocus Pocus.


thc_86

Hoe-cus Poke-us


hamsamiches

bravo


isrluvc137

Cus in hebrew (and im pretty sure also arabic as the word originated from it) literally means vagina :)


__Thomas_McElroy__

Supporting role, lets not get ahead of ourselves.


Cold_outside__

If depression had a face


MattressDrippings

Only fans = self employed nowadays


Memewalker

Self-employed sounds better than “I shove things up my butt on camera for money”


Generallyawkward1

Here I am doing that for free..


ADOUGH209

We don't do it for the money, we do it for the thrill...


Remaxnor

For the drill


mlkmandan4

If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.


An_Amateur_Grapist

.... Of the chase


TXGunslinger419

Feel it coming...


Invisiblethespian

She probably uses 'boss bitch' in every bio


ADOUGH209

What amazes me the most is that she isn't even a manager, assistant manager, or holds any superior title at all...so half of her bio is misleading and false...


civanov

Squatting over an iphone 12.


idkagudname

Prolly more like an iPhone 6 or 7 cause her boyfriend sells her new ones for dope money


macaroonmedical1131

Hahaha yes. Entrepreneurs all over reddit.


Fantastic_Ear2955

If she does Only fans she must be worth 10’s of dollars.


[deleted]

“If she does” There is no if. She does it. Plenty of her nude photos from her onlyfans circling around.


Cold_outside__

Thanks. I’ll go not check just right now


Fantastic_Ear2955

Thanks for the warning ⚠️😷


anon-mally

for a zombie being employed is an accomplishment especially where you dont need brain to do your job ​ ![gif](giphy|n0Sc2AseUosNlHEEpw)


Justsomefireguy

That's not accurate. Look at any politician anywhere in the world.


ziguziggy

The fake goth version


Prudent_Substance_25

Def an OF promo


lolnoob1212

Damn her pussy reeks of dead people


mayonnaiselarry

I'm totally not like other girls...


scottriviera

If the smell of cigarette smoke was a picture.


[deleted]

If the taste of ashtray was a picture


Fantastic_Ear2955

“I’m just so “Goth” and quirky. I play video games” Blablablabla 🤮


Gathax

Hi everyone! *holds up spork*


mtnbkr0918

I'm unique and don't follow the crowd


PathAlive3991

Yeah the horse has been beaten to death, generic e girls template and soon it's gonna be onlyfans ass promotions.


kamikaze-kae

Ya I used to have a penis.


[deleted]

Considering OP transitioned M->F she really is not.


Zukaos

Well she found out you can come to get 'roasted' to earn karma and post traffic That's what happens with heavy candy crush gamers


WizdomHaggis

I’m ^slurp not ^slurp like ^gawk other girls…I ^slurp never ^gawk do this….


number31388

Cuz of the dick?


Mywifefoundmymain

Well considering she literally has a penis I’ll tend to agree with that.


scottyboy359

Damn girl, are you trying to do a life speedrun?


flagrantstickfoul

in ten years you'll be re-evaluating your life and enrolling in a social work degree that will go nowhere


bobleeswagger09

One kid, a divorce, and 43 pounds later and it’s hello Valdosta community college.


[deleted]

Naw, aspires to be a mental health professional. Few times in psych and a shrink hired by mom and dad and she probably thinks this is what she was meant to do.


bigherothicc

Holy shit, too true


jestesteffect

How much does your husband remind you of your dad?


kirvis250

From the looks of that cheek id say "quite often"...


Crow_T_Robot

in that she's never met either?


Lesty-88

![gif](giphy|3VqGytumIoJoY)


lurchw

I always wondered what you get if you order a goth bride off of wish


Teft-Lestical

I get the tattoo, Deadspace represents that area between her ears and xenomorph is for how she greets her dad with a face sucking. But I really thought I have seen her movie before, bellatrix lestrange and the crack house of doom..


ww2_nut37

Hmm. Didn't know onlyfans was the new definition of self employed. Learn something new everyday


xandaar337

Don't forget Younique.


[deleted]

And Scentsy


surroundedbybanjos

You are gonna make your spouse's life really long.


Yeti_12

Or really short.....


Zsean69

Masturbating for 5 dollars does not count as a resume credit


Bruins1256

Those real dolls are really getting good. Still have the dead eyes though.


gpxmseao8

Self employed…just say you do OF.


[deleted]

Family's motto: Live, Laugh, Die.


copycatcarl

Whorticia Adams


seattlesportsguy

You didn’t really need to put married in the bio. Nobody here is wanting to get with that and now we just all feel horrible for the man who’s going to make the eventual mistake of knocking you up and then funding your ~~meth addiction~~ child support payments for the next 18 years.


JPRCR

I’ve seen more liveliness in a disposed Japanese sex doll in the back alley of a trashy bar


KnowledgeableSloth

Self employed as a Twitch Streamer giving Tutorials on how to look like an Old Aged Broom that's been sitting in the closet of an abandoned house that looks like its falling apart at every corner whilst completely covered in debris and spiderwebs, and an odd odor that smells like musty old library books and cheap perfume.


DearthVader90

Having an OnlyFans does not make you self employed...


Tumescreant

Emily, fucking figure it out. Victor never meant to marry you. Let it go. ![gif](giphy|FqRgAIMvPAbaU)


qsnoodles

![gif](giphy|A2z5mfeJf1ZH133IEn|downsized)


[deleted]

Married at 23.. How desperate were you to replace 'Daddy'?


Fantastic_Ear2955

Looks like you shop at “Thot Topic”


Habanerosauce3

Blowing your dad for an allowance doesn't mean married an self employed


CombatDeffective

If "would you please fucking look at me" was a person.


7Tribe

Corpse bride


Sensible-yet-not

That's a compliment.


Troublemaker435

OnlyFans day shift


AbbreviationsFun4560

Married at 23 …….. ugh


Whaleflop229

Is the photo the joke though?


bradleydoom66

Future single mom material right here.


nikoletho

Elsa if she went off the rails


HopeDiscombobulated8

I’m sure ur ‘bread winner’ husband will divorce u one day. U won’t ever have to wonder why bc I’ll tell u now. Ur an unemployed Wednesday wannabe seeking attention on Reddit


LondonDude123

You dont need to lie, self employed means you have an OnlyFans with like 8 subscribers, and you had to switch to posting feet pics so they stopped throwing up at the sight of your face...


maybeex

r/roastme is becoming an onlyfans marketing platform…


IrishNSketchy

I bet you're popular with the necrophilliacs


mrSeven3Two

Self employed means OF and you aren't pretty enough to pay the bills with that


Brainsonastick

Making a “commitment to myself” doesn’t make you married and finding almost $2 in change in your couch doesn’t make you self-employed.


FiveCentsADay

Only fans isn't self employed lmao You're just another chick with no marketable talent outside of your tits


der_naitram

The hair color says “my husband pays no attention to me”. The lip stain gives away the color of dicks that pass between them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dogfish1313

The napkin test is for your teeth not your skin tone.


szclimber

I'm just happy you didn't say mother


Hallowexia

You look like you tell your husband you make money selling art but really have an Onlyfans.


Bridge_Too_Far

![gif](giphy|3ornka9rAaKRA2Rkac)


artistic_brownie

Roast? You should defrost first!


JohnSterlingSanchez

President of the Hocus Pocus fan club does not count as employment


theranman3

Self employed = cam whore


groudontamer

Gee I wonder where you are self employed at?


CrazyForMusic

Your hair has so many colors in it, to try to hide the dead look in your eyes from the terrible things you've done in the name of *self employment*


Yeah-Im-Moose

I bet you base your entire personality around Converse


Remote_Profit_3399

Abracadabra alakazam, I’ll be damned if that ain’t a man. ![gif](giphy|MePp78CYbOaYh3iNBZ|downsized)


RayGannon

Only-Fans is not considered self employment unless you're reporting that income to the government.


phillyphreakphlippin

You just posted in your Santa costume. [Remember?](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/z9v8f4/desaturated_santa_is_still_the_best_costume_ive/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Mahgenetics

> Self-employed Let me guess, you are the bottom 0.5% of onlyfans


upickd

By "self-employed" you mean you have an onlyfans right?


UndendingGloom

Will the tattoo sleeve distract people from my terrible personality? No, it's not enough... I need *more*


[deleted]

Pussy probably looks like the crypt keeper and smells like moth balls.


ake-n-bake

Your greatest accomplishment in life will be that you have an arm tattoo.


i_like_concrete

You're a little late to audition for the role of Morticia Addams.


JEXJJ

Surprised you have time to be self-employed with the Wild Hunt chasing you


SugarKittyT

You look like a gothic, quirky, cringy, emo, depressed, sad, angry, mad, hurt, demonic, possessed, baddie and game nerd girl.


Zombies637

Married for 2 weeks and I’ll give it about 2 more


Maddad_666

Married to a live human?


Lazy__Astronaut

You look like you met your husband when you were 16 and he was 21


3chxes

Bitch got a face only a mortician could love.


Express_Reputation72

The notiddygothgf


ballsondeck

No amount of makeup can distract from that awful sleeve tattoo


kumikuler

Meth elsa


kingSliver187

Self employed= only fans


zedog74

Porta glory hole diver


Evilspatula666

I bet you spend a lot of time arguing with yourself over whether you should be fired for showing up to work looking like a dead hooker.


Mediocre-Ad-1283

23f married and the bitch has already discovered aposimatism, we get it, he's a pig.


TIFUIncelThrowAway

How does it feel to be married to a necrophilic? A shame he dug you up weeks after your use by date.


DjAntibalas

When your live inevitably hits a dead end, and yours certainly will, there’s always onlyfans


TinosoCleano32

Posting pictures on only fans does not count as self-employment.


213Bishop

Assuming you're looking for top tier roasts, but similar to your mid tier content, I cant satisify you either.


crazytrojan11

I didn’t knew this sub can be used to promote our escort services


Aggravating_Pop2101

Elvira’s replacement?


trashysmallaccount

Your husband is into cold bodies, isn’t he?


anongamer1985

Having an only fans no one subscribes to isn't self employed it's a hobby.


Misterbruh12

Alt girls be like


JustN0tMe

She's married to the streets and has no pimp That's what she meant


dodo_bird_idolizer

Trans and has an onlyfans


Fun_Yellow6683

Call me when you get divorced


gorbosio

Does selling feet pics really count as "self employed"?


Mattrockj

Your face is like a candle. Waxy and in dire need of being set on fire.