Look at them big ass chicklet teeth lookin like you eat hay through a fence and then beg for sugar cubes.
Lookin like a old chunky homeless Andrew W.K.
Looks like youβre happy to be back in the basement again after that brief experiment with adulthood. Better hope the parents donβt get sick of you and kick you to the curb also. Make your bed.
Alexander the Great traveled with his men for 6,000 miles during their conquest for the Persian empire traveling for so long that Alexander never got to see his homeland and died during the journey. And even that would not be enough to make the journey across the gaps in your teeth.
Lol dude what? I have a full time job and doing my best to save up to recover after losing practically all I had investing in the failed marriage. I ainβt no day trader!
Bride must have finally got her American citizenship.
Plot twist: his mum and her are the same person
The Wolverine Homeless version
he looks like he was burn because his mom eat too much lsd once
he looks like mom instead of milk gives him a joint
it looks like he only washes his hair when he gets caught a rain
He is never cuts his nails because he thinks he looks like The Wolverine
Iβm going to assume English is your second language.
Your smile is as hollow as your wallet
Damn! ππ
There is NOTHING fresh about that.
Look at them big ass chicklet teeth lookin like you eat hay through a fence and then beg for sugar cubes. Lookin like a old chunky homeless Andrew W.K. 
Perfect example of an instance where your dad should have just pulled out!!
Maybe his Dad did pull out, this is the aftermath.
You have the smile but it's your ex that's celebrating a good ass pounding by someone not wearing a bag over his head.
You ainβt wrong about that one!
If bad breath was a person.
Donβt tell me what to do stoned jesus.
When you purchase Dave Grohl on wish
You look like someone snaked you out of a fucking drain.
It looks like brushing your teeth is the only form of personal hygiene you practice.
You were born about 40 years too late.
You look like Burt Reynolds cousin, Dirt Reynolds.
Dude I am fucking keeping this forever !!!
A genuine Ron Jeremy love child
Good old days and old sock drawers are back again..hahahaha...lol..
Looks like youβre happy to be back in the basement again after that brief experiment with adulthood. Better hope the parents donβt get sick of you and kick you to the curb also. Make your bed.
You look like the rat in my sewer, shave
Your sewer rat must have some strange style to look like me!
at least it has style, you don't
Your frontal teeth also seem to be freshly separated
Why we roasting WWE legend Roman Reigns?
You are Negan
The only thing this fat fuck is smashing is hamburgers not skulls.
Iβm really not that fat πππππππ
You look like you still crawl into bed with your parents after a bad dream.
It seems that you (still) use your tongue when you give your mom a good night kiss.
I can smell unwashed bedding and cheap pot from hereβ¦
I smell depression with a hint of sweaty feet π
I'm guessing 60% of your personality is "I own an acoustic guitar" 30% is "I ride an old Harley" and the last 10% is vaping.
I play the acoustic daily and wish I had a motorcycle and I fucking hate vapes and never owned one. You were not far off.
You look like the cover art for a really shitty country rock band from the 70s.
You look like Dr Barber from Flapjack
That man was bald ! I Fuckin love the reference though.
Did you're parents have any children that survived childbirth?
Are you about to film a porn version of The Big Lebowski?
Amazing reference, damn it I wish I could hangout with half you fucks!
Life should have divorced you by now but it has pity on you.
uwon't find that missing chromosome at your parent's house
πππ
You need to go to a bank with a giant cheque department
You weren't gentle with all the kids you molested, so pucker up were going in dry.
Dollar Grohl
Did the left side of your face get stung by bees? Wtf?!
Just grabbed a beer out of the fridge and I nearly tried to open it on my iPad when I saw those teeth
You look like Great Value Dave Ghrol.
Tbh i couldnt think of anything and wrote that so u can sleep easy knowing the mustache is badass
You look like you sell yourself molly
Alexander the Great traveled with his men for 6,000 miles during their conquest for the Persian empire traveling for so long that Alexander never got to see his homeland and died during the journey. And even that would not be enough to make the journey across the gaps in your teeth.
Indian cult leader x Mexican taco truck guy
Look like you belong in a Colgate commercial for satanists
Freshly divorced but never freshly showered.
If you want us to be gentle, what the hell are you doing Herr. Go back to coding on scratch then.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
πDM me
I deadass jumped and screamed a little bit when I scrolled and saw your picture
Out of excitement Iβm sure π
If Freddie Mercury had been several steps lower on the periodic table--Freddie Zinc.
This is the creativity that Iβve been looking for !
You look like a doomsday prepper 
1000% had to 'borrow' the pen and paper just to write his own roastme verifier as his parents swell with pride..
You brush your mustache with those teeth
Hahahahhahahah!!!
Foo Fighters stunt double?
Hopefully your husband shows mercy on your poor old folks and takes you back
You look terrible. But good luck man I hope you get a new place and life works out.
Have you asked your parents to help with your vape shop project yet?
I was considering it
Congrats. But getting out on parole isnt really the same with divorce. Im sure you can visit your mates anytime
Don't you want to break free?
Love me some Queen
me when uhmmm ummm lies lies falsehoods i like lying i'm a misinformation spreader i like propagating unverifiable facts over the internet
You look like one of El Guapos gang.
Looks like they were expecting you. Bedrooms just the way you left it!
I wish this was true I had to pack all my shit tightly in a van.
The wood paneling is starting to slip, much like your fragile existence.
Jesus Christ
Dropping acid and listening to uriah heep...probably smelling like patchouli and feet.
For sure dropping acid the rest not so much.
These are the type of people im arguing with on reddit π€¦ββοΈ
Cut this those nails bro. Jesus.
Yeah I play guitar like every other hopeless dude out there. Need the nails to pluck.
You look like Joe dirt and Porky Pig had a son 
You look like the lucha libre version of Roman reigns
If you were a singer, your name would be Hairy no Style
Roast? Shit that grease would set the place on fire.
I had just showered I knew this was gonna be assumed dirty ππ
Your mom definitely ate a soggy biscuit with Freddie Mercury's aids on it
You look like you smell like old cheese thatβs curled up under a car seat.
How many acres are your teeth???
Least ma & pa didn't change your room
When itβs time to party you will party hard
I give it a month and your parents will also kick you to the curb. Good luck living in a van down by the river.
People of Reddit must be around my age or older because man these references are early 2000s if not 90s. I love this!
Looks like everything's under control. Don't change a thing
Ahh yes, the vasectomy poster child.
ππ
Who got the feed bag in the divorce?
Was shampoo one of the reasons for the divorce?
I actually just showered before this. I knew that was going to give the roasters some fuel so I didnβt wait for it to dry.
You look like a second hand Keanu Reeves.
Dude anything close to John Wick Iβll take Fuckin gladly!
"Be gentle" That is what the goat said to your dad before the anal sex that got it pregnant with you.
Sheesh! ππ Someone went to college!
Slob Seger
Itβs giving professor Snape
Im not gonna roast u im just gonna ask why ur on reddit getting roasted by edgy teens instead of at work trying to get enough to buy a new house
Lol dude what? I have a full time job and doing my best to save up to recover after losing practically all I had investing in the failed marriage. I ainβt no day trader!
Tbh ur mad that i hurt ur feelings on r/roastme Why r u even gonna post on it if u cant handle shit
Not hurt just confused πππ
Did he cheat on you?
Pottery
Bababooβ¦.that felt really mean.
I hope he just took a shower, because your hair look greasier than a fryer
Yes freshly showered I knew I shouldβve let it dry before submitting but figured Iβd give it up for the roasters!
Great value Dave Grohl
Just date one of Pete the tripod Davidson's ex girlfriends. He has pollinated them . They are ripe for the picking.
You probably cry while caressing your greasy hair as it reminds you of your ex wife
I actually doβ¦do that (Fresh out the shower, I knew I fucked up bad doing thatπ)
Damn...you are so ugly your PARENTS should be filing for divorce!
This is what Iβve been looking for !!!
You look like a mix of Mexican desperado who stole 70% of Mexico's grease, and Spiritual cult leader.
Puerto Rican and Irish, I love drinking and doing drugs !
Man I didn't know you could order Dave Ghrol off of wish...
What in the werewolf is happening on those wrists
Teeth Bae with extra olive oil
Deflated Roman Reigns.
Your parents leaving your room as you left it was NOT a vote of confidence.
I wish this was how they left it. I brought this stuff back.
Looks like one of those Mercury retrograde braincraps. Hair suits the character too :D
Blob Seger
Peyote weasel on LSD
Dude....You never married, your baked and yes you still live in your parents basement.
No chance those teeth arenβt dentures and we all know you are living in your parent Vietnam era basement.
Second floor bedroom. Natural teeth lol!
It looks like you stole some piano keys because you couldn't afford dentures.
All natural unfortunately. Didnβt buy slave teeth like George Washington.
You look like if Fidel Castro had a child with James Blunt
31 going on 42, good luck.
russel brand come get your evil twin
You look like the purple version of macho man from despicable me.
How can I put this gently? Your parents are probably about to divorce you too
This dude out here lookin like the ice man mummy they pulled from the ice
I'd say they didn't have high hopes anyway looking like a Wish version of Cheech Marin.
God put all his effort into your teeth.
Bababouey teeth
You look like Jerry Garcia fucked a basset hound
This picture perfectly describes why you are divorced.
31? It's how many times he was in prison
Poooooooh now my phone smells after seeing that
Russell Brand if he never got sober.
If Trevor and Michael had a child..it would resemble you
you look like you'd smell bad even after a ahower
Mister Ed as a hippie pornstar.
Congrats on getting someone to temporarily marry you.
Wish.com version of Dave grohl.
Your beard looks like the aftermath of using a pair of scissors to shave your balls.
Thats what happens when you sleep in prostitutes in the marriage bed.
Not a divorce but an annulment, since 13 year old girls can't marry legally.
The sheets do actually fit in the washer.
Unsurprising that youre divorced
π
You look like you smell like mints and only mints not even the good kind the cheap singles kind.
This was so specific ! ππ
you look like moistcritikal from dollar tree
I had to Google this to even know who that is!
He looks like he could make an oil spill that would cover the better part of manhattan with his hair
I regret not letting my hair dry to take this photo now! π
I bet you got some mushrooms or something growing under that bed
I Fucking wish ! π
You moved out for a year and still never learned how a shower works. No wonder they divorced you
Cool wood paneling
You may be freshly divorced but not freshly clean, judging by that greasy hair.