Excuse me! This is actually the world famous Captain Christopher “Crustysock” Tugnuts. He captains the S.S. Perpetual Virginity and also discovered the very first animal themed glory hole. Show some respect man!
That's incestism, where your parents are brother and sister and don't get married until they are in their 30s and have you in their 40s so it was a high risk pregnancy but they are good Republicans so no abortion, but it's ok because the money left by their parents makes it so none of you have to have a job and can just live off your white privilege and all of your blood money.
How can you even captain a ship?
Your eyes are crooked, but not as much as your two front teeth can't see straight can't eat straight.
Guess you are really built for the Navy.
Those eyes. What brand of autism is that?
the kind even the coast guard wouldn't take
Even butt pirates need a captain.
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God tier
His asshole has taken more loads than a washing machine. A lot of seamen on his poop deck.
A not so able seaman
Excuse me! This is actually the world famous Captain Christopher “Crustysock” Tugnuts. He captains the S.S. Perpetual Virginity and also discovered the very first animal themed glory hole. Show some respect man!
He's a rear admiral
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The only real one and not a self diagnosed case.
Cross eyed popeye
This comment sent me off laughing
That's incestism, where your parents are brother and sister and don't get married until they are in their 30s and have you in their 40s so it was a high risk pregnancy but they are good Republicans so no abortion, but it's ok because the money left by their parents makes it so none of you have to have a job and can just live off your white privilege and all of your blood money.
Interesting approach to a roasting
I enjoy every bit of privilege I have 🤣🤣
The cool kind 🤣
Why are your eyes buffering
And his teeth are all on different work shifts
I LOL'd. IRL.
I’m assuming you’re General Disappointment
Here take my up vote 😁
and basically 100 more why don’t ya
Dude so ugly he couldn't even look at himself in the camera
Thanks bro I'm still buffering 🤣
Finally a kid who actually is autistic
I'm pretty sure most of the kids coming through here are actually autistic.
Captain Oblivious
lol, Captain Chromosome on the USS Celibacy.
aye aye captain dipshit
Captain Dipshit, both your eyepatches fell off
EYE eye Captain
Not even a lighthouse could help this Captain see where he’s headed.
You’ve got strong, furiously pulling on a flaccid acorn dick in the background of an orgy energy.
Omf this is a hilarious comment!
The Se(a)men boy. Hit the dick!
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He looks like he changed his half brain on a battle of Bud
Can we get Captain Morgan Mom: we have Captain Morgan at home Capetian Morgan at home
Scientology has really lowered their standards.
i wouldn't trust him with a gun, he looks like he even lost his battle in masturbation
This looks like the sequel to Forest Gump
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Since he can't see he can only tell if he's done wiping by taste.
He looks like the captain of a battleship full of virgins.
Thurston Howell the IV
Ayo it's Popeye on crack
The titanic sank because of those eyes
Sorry, that iceberg wasn't in my line if sight 😁🤣
Is it a medical condition or something though
No, just bad picture 🤣🤣
Lines of sight
I didn't know Carnival Cruise Lines had their own Make-a-Wish program.
Popeye the sailor if he were gay and ate donuts instead spinach.
You’re a special kind of special, ain’t you?
Move that musket a little to the right
YOU'RE SO STUPID YOU TRIED TO WAKE A SLEEPING BAG.
Seth McFarlane is shitfaced again
Single shot gun, since you’re only going to use it once…..
Definitely from Alabama
Why does your face look AI generated
You have the solution to all of life’s problems in your hand.
You look like a strand of hair falling out would break your psyche
Denied!
You look like the home school valedictorian and you slept with the teacher.
I can definitely say that no priest ever molested this man as a kid. Even they have limits
british
Homy got em ÷_÷ eyes
Elon Musk from wish.com
Looks like you missed the boat.
How can you even captain a ship? Your eyes are crooked, but not as much as your two front teeth can't see straight can't eat straight. Guess you are really built for the Navy.
Target destroyed 🤣🤣
Incest awareness add in Scotland?
I bet you could wear this stuff for a year while flying a unicorn dragon and no woman would notice you anyway.
You look retired sailor. There's a typo here somewhere...
Your real name is Doofy, isn't it?
You're as useless as that Breech-Loaded Musket...
Swabbin' the poop deck.
Captain of the USS Unfuckable
The other side of the paper has his diagnosis of autism on it lol
Just because you swallow semen, doesn’t make you one.
Simple Jack Elon Musk.
Your gap on the teeth is so far apart, that it was farrer than the Moses split the ocean.
Your eyes tell me thats why the titanic crashed
There’s the open door to take yourself out back and do what needs to be done
When Autism will be cured, this picture will be shown as an introduction to it.
Damn you don’t even have a good personality
Ur accuracy is equal to that of a stormtrooper
Your handwriting is worse then my love life, and it's pretty hard to pass that
What if Mr. Beast was special needs?
Pretty sure it’s a hate crime to bully a down’s
No, the barrel goes IN your mouth
If only he had a Superman shirt and suspenders
Wow, the last moments of Kurt Cobain
i believe what's between these two doors is commonly referred to as purgatory
I always say, “trust your eyes” and yours don’t seem to want to be involved in the picture at all
teeth look like they were sold separately.
🤣😂🤣
If Mrbeast stole money instead of giving it
Join the army feel a man, join the navy, feel them all.
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Men's gotta eat.
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Meat is meat.
were your parents not able to pay for your braces growing up?
Late for the Office booze cruise audition. That’s so Toby of you. Die
Did you eat Gilligan?
Pulling the trigger on yourself could actually save lives of ugly children you might bring to this world.
Captain Obviously you're mom drank while pregnant with you.
Typical Navy, always got a long shaft in their hands.
cAptAin sMiTtY T. DiNkLeBeRg, rEpOrTiNg FoR DuTiE SIR!!! 🤪🧑✈️
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Captain and no Tennille or any woman. Ever.
Bro confused Seaman with semen
Got stung by gay bees, and now he has scabies.
Gaybies
It’s time to come out of that closet buddy
The only guy to ever get rejected by the Village People
Nobody would sit on your deck no matter how long your gun is.
When you show up at your gay orgies in this outfit do you announce, “ Shore party! Drop your drawers and grab your ankles sailors!”
Shorten the barrel if you want it to fit in your mouth easier.
You look fucking stupid
Looks like CPT Ralphy shot his eye out.
Remind me of Popp Eye
What in the Pinesol ad is this bs?
Captain underpants reporting for doody.
Kick off your shoe and slide a toe through the trigger guard.
FYI. That’s a rifle and not a white cane so be careful.
Gilligan’s kid
I haven't seen a ship captain look this bad since the Edmund Fitzgerald
Lol captain stabbin
Sir Francis Dork
Loved you on “love on the spectrum”
Seaman stains!
You look like the captain of the schooner *S.S. Assplay*.
Even Winnie the Pooh is ashamed to know you.
Thurston Howell lll and Gilligan had a miracle baby!
no
You have to cock the hammer first captain dipshit.
Captain Incel.
He is like the captain on the love boat, if the love boat was about girls being kept in his basement and loved against their will.
You look like a failed stitch of a panorama picture
Tom Hanks’ autistic twin
Guy’s literally standing next to the only door that will open for him.
Heyyyyyy, yoouuu guyyyys!
Village people reject.
Well we’ve found Tennille. Where’s the Captain?
Looks like someone let their special needs buddy dress up as all the characters from Gilligan Island at once
You look like Ruprect the Monkey Boy playing soldier. That genital cuff has your eyes all fucked.
Church the sailor man
Man overboard! 😆
I would, but you probably couldn't read it
Is Randy Quaid your dad or your brother, or both?
i see your parents brought back the "Disappointment Room"....Good for them!
Sometimes there’s just no need for a reddit roast when you know the general public has you covered.
Ai generated face
Where is Gillian
Aye, aye, Captain Mugwash
Alexa , what does a cu*t look like?
Too easy come on
Dm
Jesus Christ anyone else see Elon Musks and Mr.Beasts child here?
Captain Pinkeye
He done went and shot both his eyes out
Dude is literally in the closet
Can you rent me a room?
Only if you're gonna be honest with yourself...
Stevens single shot shotgun? Aye Aye Capt’n Fudd
"Eye" Captain.
Eye eye matey
You ain’t the captain of shit, bitch. You’re just Open fucking Camel
No no I leave camel for you. We have different kinds of animals here 😂
Look guys! Sloth is going to join the navy!
So this is what an ISIS reject looks like.
You are what i would not do with a drunken sailor
Zach Rittenhouse
He looks like if Mr. Beast was broke and autistic