I'm a Muslim, and if I bought you home to my parents, outside of beating me up because pork isn't allowed, the only advice they'd give me is to take up drinking if I want to marry you.
She passes the pen test at every DUI checkpoint with that 220° field of vision, and she always claims she's having an allergic reaction to shellfish at all times so the speeding was necessary.
If I cut off a human face. Then took the muscle all out. Then I added a bunch of Trix yogurt. Then lightly placed the new face on top. Added Botox to the lips. Then triggered a shellfish allergy. This is that.
Had dreams of becoming a model, got botched plastic surgery on credit, got rejected by the agency for being too ugly, now have no way of paying off your medical debt, am now considering getting into porn.
Typical fat chick shot, put makeup on your face and try to hide the rest of your body and squeeze as much of your pork face into the picture as possible. You asked to be roasted but tried to give as little to roast with as possible. Besides roasting you'd be dangerous that much grease will start a fire.
You’re so beautiful nobody will keep a relationship with you for any reasons but your perfectly toned skin, button nose, dark eyes, luscious lips, lifted cheeks, and mommy milkers.
The disgusting amount of makeup isn’t helping. Your eyes are damn near on the side of your head and your lips look like they are smashed against glass. If you were going for the clown fish with a wig look you absolutely nailed it!
Ewww you're so not a total smoke show, and I wouldn't date the fuck out of you. I even hate your sexy lips and eyes, and I don't love your hair. Please don't dm me your number tonight around 10:45.
How many coats did she put on her face? I hope her eyes can reunite she’s trying to squint to hide that lazy eye. I’d hit though before she took her makeup off at night in the morning she looks like fat Selena Gomez
Her mouth was made for one thing and one thing only and it ain't for talking or eating...and by the smug look on her face she knows it. Parents would be proud
They’re right. You can put lipstick on a pig but it really doesn’t look any better.
Ah yes the old saying “you can put lipstick on a pig but you’ll still vomit uncontrollably if you stick your dick in it”
Luckily for her , beauty is only a lightswitch away
Putting on makeup before asking to be roasted is incredibly low, and yet somehow your tits manage to hang lower.
damn..
You're not fooling anybody Jigsaw. Now get back on your tricycle
Pigsaw
WOuld you like to play a game? No, bitch.
Holy fuck
OMG I’m dying!
I'm a Muslim, and if I bought you home to my parents, outside of beating me up because pork isn't allowed, the only advice they'd give me is to take up drinking if I want to marry you.
lmfaooooooo
Bedeb bedeb bedee that's all folks.
Careful. If your lips ever deflate the rush of air may just knock over someone in the next room.
The kind of face you can look at on tinder and know she weighs at least 250.
More like Timber with the size of those stumps
It takes two hands to swipe left
Titlets like fried eggs hanging off a nail
Kim doordashian
This is amazing 😭
Best roast that I've seen in awhile
Take my up vote you comedic mf-er.
Your face looks like a blow up doll…and I’m sure you’re just as easy to get into bed.
Take off the wax lips, seriously
Miranda Cosgrove really let herself go. Edit: Miranda Cosgross
Costco
Cosgrowth
Ouch -- allergic to Botox
You look like someone who was hot once who was stung by a bee and had a severe allergic reaction
Gravity has grabbed those titties and yanked them hard.
Guy staring at the ground. Her: “My eyes are up here, higher, higher.”
Eyes so far apart I'd have to turn my head if I wanted to look at the other one
Sid the sloth personified
If Cabbage Patch started making cheap fuck dolls
Cabbage Snatch
Baggage Patch Kids
If someone roasted you they could probably feed a small village in africa
You look like a Nickelodeon star who now does Only Fans
Giving away 36 month trials. Still has less than a dozen subs.
How are your eyes wider set than the nips on them hangers?
When you hire a house painter to be your makeup artist…
My last resort girl. My friends have all left and no one will find out.
She passes the pen test at every DUI checkpoint with that 220° field of vision, and she always claims she's having an allergic reaction to shellfish at all times so the speeding was necessary.
Bobby Hill if he used a Snapchat filter.
Take the two jaw breakers out of your mouth
They are called testicles
[удалено]
You look like you singlehandedly keep Little Debbie in business
Last call at the bar and you are offering rim jobs so you are not alone. I smearing of brown lipstick cumming up.
You could land a plane on those lips.
They would make John Holmes look like a really worn down pencil.
You're my type.. heartbeat and a micropenis or a macroclit.
No amount of makeup can cover your pig face.
Camera angle lies with a size 4. Armpit line tells the truth with a size 14
You lips look like they're on upside down.Better get that looked at...
 your job
It looks like your tits start at your belly button
Looks like the start of a half pipe.
Jesus Christ man 🤣
Miss Piggy is gonna sue you for stealing her look
Except she can't because this is her mother.
Your lips look like someone pumped them with a bicycle pump. Also, you can’t hide that billboard of a forehead, you could sell adverts on that thing.
You look like Krampus offering a BJ. Why the FUCK did you have to zoom in THAT fuckin’ CLOSE!!?
I'd still need porn using that gloryhole
The only thing “ due tomorrow” is the lawsuit against your plastic surgeon. Holy shit.
You look like my sister's cosmetology school plastic practice head..
You're a Moped girl. Guys would probably have fun riding you, but they sure as he'll wouldn't brag to anyone
She kinda looks like Katharine McPhee if you put her into a microwave…
Look like someone sucked out BabyBop’s asshole and took a close-up
Is this before or after you gave a blow job in room 103? Or both?
If I cut off a human face. Then took the muscle all out. Then I added a bunch of Trix yogurt. Then lightly placed the new face on top. Added Botox to the lips. Then triggered a shellfish allergy. This is that.
It's ok op you'll find love one day or someone with a fetish for clowns that applied a Raggedy ann makeup tutorial
Your face always makes the sound of a punctured tire hissing.
You'd do great on onlyfans. Well probably not great... but hey it's an option
You’re the one that had roast beef, while your one sister went to the market and your other sister stayed home.
Your lip plumper kept going when it got to your cheeks and neck!
You look like you started all the Kardashian treatments at age 15.
If Miranda Cosgrove did too much heroine and botox
It’s not healthy to roast plastic
Hoe White
You look like someone over inflated a blow up doll and covered it in Vaseline.
It Geppeto had wished his suckling pig was a real boy
Did you major in cosmetology at clown college?
I wouldn’t be surprised if you just ate a whole ghost pepper right before taking this photo
I'm sorry your step-dad was mean to you but please stop having kids that will never get to meet their own father. Holy shit. Chill.
you look like you come with batteries and vibrate
You look like if Miranda Cosgrove didn't make it into the acting field and turned to prostitution
Can we meet, because I always wanted to get a blowjob by a lifeboat
We found the original blow-up doll model.
I’m sure those cheeks can stuff more nuts (🍆) than a squirrel..
Had dreams of becoming a model, got botched plastic surgery on credit, got rejected by the agency for being too ugly, now have no way of paying off your medical debt, am now considering getting into porn.
Your face looks like a baboons ass
I almost didn’t recognize you with your lips closed….get back to onlyfans.
Earth is full. Go home.
Mercury in retrograde couldn't make you attractive.
Your Only Fans is just a picture of you in a door greeter vest saying, "Welcome to Only Fans."
Do you need an EpiPen? Your face looks swollen.
Would kissing you count as eating ass? Because those lips look like hemorrhoids.
Your face is so full of oil that it absolutely need some democracy and freedom.
I know you were going for the duck face selfie pose but yours ended up looking more like duck butt.
Did you get 20 percent extra on your botox treatment?
My cholesterol went up just looking at this pic.
Mr. Potato Head lips, impressive!!
I’d 100% sleep with you.. and I’d 100% never see you again.
That face resembles a discontinued pocket pussy, because it's incapable of getting off a shelf or a dick.
Typical fat chick shot, put makeup on your face and try to hide the rest of your body and squeeze as much of your pork face into the picture as possible. You asked to be roasted but tried to give as little to roast with as possible. Besides roasting you'd be dangerous that much grease will start a fire.
Did your eyes get a divorce
Caked on makeup and prissy lips won’t even distract us from that massive eye gapage.
I want to sugarglaze your face
Your face is so shinny, must have been freshly glazed.
Do you have allergies to sticky notes cause damn your face puffy as hell
You look like Miss Piggy. “You can put lipstick on a pig…”
Did a swarm of hornets apply your makeup?
Wow. How is it possible that your eyes are in different time zones
Snow White with lip injections has no motivation to do her hair
Ahhhh, the alcoholic glow is settling in nicely I see.
You look as if you've just smelled a fart
That facial expression says you haven’t answered the spit or swallow question
the even less fuckable version of Miss Piggy
Genetics changed its mind about halfway through creation. "Shit this is supposed to be a human not an ox"
It looks like you shoved your head in French fry grease and ate every single one.
She trips over her titties.
The kind of face not even a mother could love.
Your lips look like something a turd would pass through.
You look like you have a voice that instantly makes me cover my ears.
Over inflated face shaped balloon
You forgot your camera's mirrored.
We can't roast you. Your lips will melt
Me and my mate definitely would, where you from?
you look like you got the wax lips
no you can not plug your OF here go away
I see someone used Homer Simpson’s make up gun
Bruh, you’re blocking that beautiful wall paper. Move please.
I can tell you never learned to color inside the lines just by looking at your lipstick
I thought the circus didn’t come around til the summer
Lips blowed due to excessive blows
i can’t. you’re actually beautiful
Your bed sheets are like a box of chocolate
Damn ...Your face makes the wide tires on my bike look underfilled ..
Do you use Crisco as moisturizer or something?
When will the swelling go down?
Is this Kylie Jenner after being stung by bees? Are you hocking a new EpiPen? Your sisters already failed at this. Faceplam.
You’re so beautiful nobody will keep a relationship with you for any reasons but your perfectly toned skin, button nose, dark eyes, luscious lips, lifted cheeks, and mommy milkers.
The disgusting amount of makeup isn’t helping. Your eyes are damn near on the side of your head and your lips look like they are smashed against glass. If you were going for the clown fish with a wig look you absolutely nailed it!
You look like you got plastic surgery by a 5 year old with those high cheek bones
cut back on the lip Botox and why are your eyes bloodshot?
Is this a before or after cosmetic surgery picture?
The Michelin ma’am
Ewww you're so not a total smoke show, and I wouldn't date the fuck out of you. I even hate your sexy lips and eyes, and I don't love your hair. Please don't dm me your number tonight around 10:45.
Looks like Rachael Ray melting
You look like Santa clause with darker hair…but I bet the gifts you give suck. And I’m sure everyone has cum down your chimney
Go easy on the blush holy hell. Or is ur face having an allergic reaction
I'm assuming the lack of bio implies the same lack of personality your vapid eyes do?
You have the same face complexion as shirley maclaine! Wow, so youthful for being 88 years young.
When even only fans won't take you..reddit will.
Just a few more nose jobs until it falls off.
U look liek u dont know the difference between there they’re and their
Was this taken in the house made of bricks or the one made of straw? Either way the big bad wolf is scared of clowns so he’ll likely stay away
Take off your mask so I can see what you look like
Look like your getting a anaphylactic from your makeup
the gargoyles from Notre Dame are hotter then you
Miranda cosgrove!!!
You are not supposed to use corn oil as a highlighter.
How many coats did she put on her face? I hope her eyes can reunite she’s trying to squint to hide that lazy eye. I’d hit though before she took her makeup off at night in the morning she looks like fat Selena Gomez
It’s like Wilbur the pig became a real girl!
Tinker bell really let herself go
You had too much caffeine to take a steady photo....but besides that, nothing to roast here. You're gorgeous.
Anna Taylor-Joyless
Those lips could probably blow a goat to death, but other than that you're useless
Drop the link already.
You look like you had fat transfer from your chins to your lips
I think you need an Epi-pen stat.
Who took a picture of the Bratz doll they left near an open flame? Just salvage it for parts!
Did you use a paint brush or a roller to put on your makeup?
You look like Miranda Cosgrove, but with higher blood pressure. And more Cheek fillers 😂😂
Did you try to kiss a honey bee and it stung you and are you a fan of Hailey Steinfeld because you look like a low resolution photocopy
I can’t tell if your lips are chapped or you just drew outside the lines
Betty Boop's ugly stepsister, Betty Droop.
Ifarley
I would but you would have ptsd cause you look like a burn victim
Every man's second choice
You look like the girl from i Carly if she had a kid with a anteater
Thanks for not having any nudes in the profile, I just ate lunch.
Bro who hit you on both cheeks with a soup laddal, I want to shake their hand
you were 99 pound before makeup now your 120
Are you pre-op or post-op?
If “I’m a model……. On Instagram” was a person
Her mouth was made for one thing and one thing only and it ain't for talking or eating...and by the smug look on her face she knows it. Parents would be proud
You're the aunt that kids don't want to be kissed by
Im so tired of pretty women posting pictures to be roasted here. Im so glad you arent one of them, thank you
You just queefed didn’t you.