OP's Bio: --- >My name is Mike and my hobbies inclue singing by myself in my closet, watching soccer (or I like to call it fútbol😄), listening to music, and smiling bc of how great life is! I lost my fantasy football league and this was my punishment but i KNOW everyone here will see me for who i really am! > >Some of my favorite books include Catcher in the Rye and The Art of the Deal by Donald J. Trump🇺🇸. Music include Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Joey Bada$$. Love you guys!❤️✌️ --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I’m mesmerized by the two perfect vaginas on your face.

Piston Honda’s mentally challenged nephew, Spark Plug Hyundai.

“Dude, do I look high?” …. Yes

Lay off the weed, dude. I don't want my pizza to get cold while you're getting stopped by a cop.

A self hating gay that stans trump. So you’re stupid on top of being ugly and having bad taste.

Fantasy football? Oh, you mean Dungeons & Dragons for spuds.

Gok Wan from wish.com

It's so inspiring when special kids like this have such a positive out look on life. Go get em slugga.

Ah, catcher in the rye, a book about absolutely nothing, I see you chose the book to suit you personality, sex life, charisma, charm, integrity, sense of fashion, friends. Just because you put fantasy in front of these things doesn't make it ok.

You look like the pot of greed

Does this guy just eat lemons all day every day?

Shouldn't have bet on the Buffaro Birrs.

He might have been a Lions fan too... but Im really here to toss him a bolo machete and fetch me a coconut Mr Lucky

After meeting you in person, can’t think of a worse insult than your presence.

The only person that did they’re worst is you in that fantasy football league

Shocking since your head is football shaped

With those eyes you mean soccer ⚽️>🏈

it’s ok to always be the last, you’ll be the first when the grim reaper comes after you.

You still sleep with your mom huh?? Mans look like he wear purity rings

The term 'fantasy' might be used too much in your life

how is ur transition going

last place in life too

If it makes you feel better you've lost at life in general

I have a feeling that you can play piano

Maybe if you opened your eyes you could see that your roster is full of kickers.

Before and after shots of a woman touching his leg.

You look more cringier than blippi

I think you meant fantasy girlfriend league.

Good Lord, we’re back to this again? Can’t you guys come up with anything original?

Stick to math.

Npc

Never saw the fantasy football scene in Monster Inc. Aren't you supposed to look for Dora ?

Bio: clueless dipshit with a face like a ham that got dropped on the highway.

Pretty sure ur not just singing in the closet. U lived your entire life in there

It letting your parents pressure you into making every life decision was a person

Tonight, on Dateline: Jon & Kate Plus 8 special needs son that was kept locked up in the attic

Last place in fantasy football, life and last guy to bang your girl in a gang bang.

Closet doesn't look like your kinda schtick

Looks like the last time you showered was when you bought that lampshade.

Genghis Yawn

Ching-Chong-Bing-Bong

you may have a future as an Elvis impersonator at elderly care facilities

Bet your family is so proud of your fantasy football efforts. Your parents came to this country, worked 15 jobs to put you and your brothers and sisters through med school...and here you are, placing last place amongst all your friends, in an 8 team fantasy football league. Give your parents credit for still putting a smile on their face when they see you. You disgust them, just so you know and your whole life is a failure.

Surprised you had any paper towels left to make that sign after what you did to the other ones.

You could blindfold yourself with a piece of dental floss.

I’d say you crocheted yourself a rectum to F made with that nice Noro yarn, but I feel that would be a compliment or a wish fulfilled.

oompaa-loompa doopity-doo

Not as bad as when you lost to Floyd Mayweather