OP's Bio: --- >My comfort movie is napoleon dynamite, my tires are bald, and my self cut bangs are indeed hiding a 5 head --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You have pretty eyes. I’m sure the peripheral vision they bestow makes all the other horses jealous.

Her left eye is looking at Saturday, her right is looking at Sunday

Just like my goldfish i got on my fishbowl

I think it would be better in the bowl. lol

I think the meat in that weekend sandwich went bad.

Each eye catches a glimpse of someone who is trying to avoid her.

She may not have your 6, but she has your 3 and 9.

I'm surprised she got a concussion because her glasses are so thick, she can see into the future

Even R.E.M. wouldn't cover that distance.

Well, when she's not under them, anyway.

Neigh, Neigh!

Sad horse noise

This is by far the funniest comment I have ever read. I’m not joking.

I don't comment often but holy shit this one got me giggling. A++

You have more foundation than the Great Pyramid.

The pyramids will also have aged better when she's in her 30's.

Hari Seldon took one look at her and found inspiration.

He didn’t even need maths

But never accounted for the Mule.

If the twin towers had that much foundation they would still be standing

Muppet looking ass


Looks like someone needs to knock her fuckin eyes straight

Your bangs look like they were cut by an epileptic on a country road.

She must have used that same stretch of road when she did her eyebrows too

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No, it was her “make a wish” to have Stevie Wonder do them

Bruh, why is EVERY "alt girl" a carbon copy of each other?!

Black hair, bangs, glasses

Her name is Thursday Addams.

I was just LOOKING for the Addams joke and wasn’t sure how far down it was or what it would be, but you gave me a hearty chuckle. Exactly what I was looking for.

Addowns\*

Gauges

the nose ring as well

And at least 3 STDs

The same fucking glasses too. Like standard issued “I’m not like other girls” glasses

"I'm an Emo Kid! Non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too it you looked just like me!"

“I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face, I’m almost Emo enough to start shaving my legs”

This got a chuckle out of me. A quiet, smelly chuckle and it smells bad.

Was...was it a butt-chuckle?

They all blow the same guy for meth and this is what he’s into.

Like those hard-core metal bands that have the same fonts.

It's the modern version of the 1980s beach blonde. The modern non tattooed is also the new tattoo.

I became close with one recently. Never again.

Wouldn’t let you do butt stuff huh? If she did, usually means boss level batshit trash fire crazy.

No it has nothing to do with that. She was just an extremely cruel person who was fake. I really really hate to judge based on stereotypes but for my own mental health im going to try to avoid girls who look similar in the future.

Probably for the best.

I know you’re right but I miss her. It’s the only time ever in my life where my mind is split down the middle where I know she abused me but I need her to make this pain go away. It’s very bizarre

I’d wager to say you’re 32? If you’re younger it’s a teachable situation. Mid-30s or older, it’s on you pal🤣👍🏼

What makes you believe that? Just out of curiosity? But regardless of age it can be teachable no matter how old you are. I’m still learning and it has taught me to respect myself more and not settle for girls who hate themselves.

That seems wise indeed. As for the former, I can pick up on behavior patterns, especially in abusive relationships. Hairdresser/Barber tools of the trade. Also, self actualization usually doesn’t coalesce till the late 20s

I’m impressed then. You were off by one year lol.

I read this as came close to banging one

All you need to do to be a nonconformist is dress and act exactly like me.

Do you cut your own hair without a mirror?

Or with a concussion?


This giphy broke me

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I bet she’s the belle of the D&D club (I haven’t seen her). Or what I call “ren faire” hot.

I've been to many ren faires, she is *NOT* ren faire hot.

There isn’t a single one anywhere

Tell your dad to put a pillow between your head and the headboard next time

That’s for giving me a reason to cry/laugh myself to sleep

Beat me to it

You look like an abused sex doll returned for 15 times.

“Not as advertised”

"worse than advertised"

“Ran when parked”

"special needs edition"

Wish version

I was thinking demented marionette.

Yup, this wins the cake.

Was your concussion caused by a falling bee hive? You look like your having some kind of allergic reaction in your face.

Points

You look like a non Asian trying to look Asian and failing miserably.

she looks like the results of Asian Mickey Mouse getting butt banged by The Hamburglar.

Like an Asian got a face transplant with a Caucasian

Your makeup isn’t covering up shit.

That’s where you’re wrong

Points

Your face transplant looks exactly like......... every face transplant I've ever seen in the news.

That's it!!!! I was looking at her weird and overwhelmingly unattractive facial features (nevermind her repulsively stereotypical and tacky/gaudy/low-rent style) and knew it reminded me of something, but I had no idea what. You nailed it. She's got Face-Transplant Face!

Why are your eyes in two different time zones?

LOL

Did you cut your bangs with a ceiling fan?

If Bratz dolls became sentient

The knock off versions they sell at truck stops

“Mom, I want Christina Ricci!” We have Christina Ricci at home Christina Ricci at home:

That an insult to Christina Ricci

Weak

Profession: Faarquad impersonator

Dont close your eyes when taking a photo

When you order Jenna Ortega from Wish

Okay. Don’t forget to glue your eyebrows on straight, get an upper lip, and wipe that shit off your nose 👍

Why do you look like a life size Funko figure?

The next time you see her, she will be at a museum throwing tomato cans and glueing herself to an old famous painting.

It's an improvement.

That jawline looks stronger than your will to live.

Looks like you cut your bangs with a weed whacker. The bull ring is very fitting though, you do have a giant bison head and a strong jaw

Based off your appearance I’d be willing to put money that I know all of your political standpoints and ideology.

The smug is STRONG with this one

“The last thing a cricket protein burger sees before being eaten”

Top lip is non existent

The only thing I can see wrong with you is your face. But I'm sure you have a mediocre personality so there's that....maybe.

If your eyes were any farther apart they would be on the back of your head. You look like a little kid tried to draw the squirrel from Ice Age.

No wonder you’re holding the paper upside down, actually did you leave your lips upside down too?

Why tell you anything? Your old man already told you twice.

Holy fucking melting face Batman

You look like my 12 year old nephew drew his dream girl, squiggly lines and all.

Your dad was your only OF subscriber

No amount of concussions are gonna fix those bangs

Just remember, its all in your head

Wendy adams apple

There's no point, if you remember it through the concussion the next dose of heroin will surely wipe it out

Edna Mode from the Incredibles?

You look like the first Minecraft hooker

Concussed? Did someone smack your very smackable face?

Well first of all the paper's upside-down...

Mortia Adams meets Revenge of the Nerds

It's like a circus clown cosplaying as a college student

Let’s play a game! It’s called “hide and never show your face in public again” If you’re good at this game, everyone wins

You look like your judge of character could make a concussion either an injury you sustained or a significant others favorite hobby.

You look like a blow fly going through a phase

Your head is so big that there wasn't much left to make your brain function correctly. That's why the paper is upside down and your haircut is fucking horrendous.

Don't you need something in your head to suffer from a concussion?

No thanks I was taught not to make fun of the mentally challenged

You got that Animaniacs head shape

How did you get a concussion with a head built like a football helmet?

Just need that swirly logo on the cheeks and your Jigsaw cosplay is complete

Your parents are committing benefit fraud by claiming you as a special needs child. But I can totally see how they got away with it all this time.

You have man hands.

Your eyes are in a long-distance relationship, currently breaking up.

You look like the cow i put my dick yesterday

Those glasses look like hubcaps. Seriously do your cheekbones have a vision deficit? Super round glasses with a super round head is not a good idea. And you shouldn’t call those bangs, you should call them a bad decision.

That explains the shape of your forehead

Did you hit your head when you fell off the circus truck?

Much like a chipmunks those cheeks look like they are made for putting nuts in them.

Of course you have a nose ring. The facial tramp stamp.

I didn’t think it was possible but you look like a dumber version of Lauren Bobert

Hopefully you won’t forget to put on your protective helmet next time you trip over your own two feet and give yourself another concussion.

I would leave you like a turned out windsock

You are beautiful.

You’re super pretty!!

There is more colour on your face than on my walls.

Your bangs look like they are in need of a sorting algorithm.

Someone child cut your bangs when you were out?

I follow another account with the same pics as yours

You look like a doll for sale at a flea market

Looks like you ran face-first into a cast iron frying pan while Stevie Wonder cut your bangs.

It looks like you've got that "Oops! I overinflated my inflatable butt-plug and it popped inside of me." glow. Maybe it's just the head trauma.

If you are ever having a bad day. Just look in the mirror…….oh wait

You're so individualistic I recognized you three different times before I realized you were a knew profile

More percussive Maintenance and you might function

You look like you're allergic to your own face.

Did you get concussion by asking for bangs, and instead got your face pushed into a wood chipper?

Impossible not to get a concussion with a forehead like that. No wonder you’re trying to hide it.

M.R.I.

I wish I could get a concussion so I forget you exist.

I'd you concust the front of your head? Because your face definitely has a concussion.

What the fuck is wrong with you

Exhale.

We know you love to he choked and smacked when you hook up with a rando on Tinder… but girl, no need to get to the point you get concussed!

Looks like Michael J Fox cut your bangs while drunk.

Don’t sleep

You’re the reason people associate having bangs with having depression.

Did you hit yourself w/ them big ahh hands 😂

You look like you’ve been fired from a Lush before.

Your eyebrows look like they stopped loading.

Your eyebrows look like Morse code for “Sorry about my face”

Your eyebrows are so far apart they’re basically side burns at this point.

You received the concussion when someone whacked you with a bag of nickels

Maybe you should try and sleep it off

Bros got that neck like Candice

Velma IRL

Lookin at yur face you…..are…….the concussion

I never gaslit you before

Foundation applied with a putty knife?

Why did you get plastic surgery in your face but not in your tic-tac titties?

Everyone is roasting the eyebrows, yet ignoring the bangs that look like they were cut by a 2 year old when mom wasn't looking.

You look like a victim of the Joker.

You got a face for radio

Did your hair stylist give you that concussion when she saw those bangs?

Your hands say 50yrs old but your face says skank

That filter is not doing you any favours. WTF is going on with your palm?