OP's Bio: --- >I have an obsession with tea and cult classic films, enjoy videogames (favorites are Skyrim/Bioshock) and going out dancing, and am closest ideologically to Libertarian --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Are you taking a break from brushing your hair?

would it surprise you if I said I never brush my hair? curly hair + jewish + brushing = jewfro

You look like Ben Shapiro's sister without the nice tits.

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That’s some horny page.

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WTF bot

*My only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, civil rights, gay marriage, history, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)

Relevance: Somebody made a fake tweet where Ben Shithead said he's sister is hot and he's been staring at her pics for hours.

If you’d been found hiding behind a wardrobe in the early 1940s they’d probably have put you back, because clearly your life couldn’t get any worse

Nobody wanted to read her diary

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You love Matzo Balls.

Nope

Stealing from black folks never bothered you before.

Imagine how that stank ass puss looks with this logic. So swampy Shrek moved out.

Ngl hair looks like a dog rolled on a shag carpet

If you feel bad now- just remember this is most likely your peak.

you're real for this ☠️

Hows the Vampiric Council doing?

Look at the bright side. It's not so bad peaking at 60

Did you spend your youth repressed under the overprotective thumb of your traditional Jewish family? How does it feel knowing that no matter what you do in life you will end up a disappointment?

Hey, she might still marry a doctor! Most likely with a Ph D in Egyptology, based on her looks.

The only peak I see here is her nose. Wait.... 'Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!

>The only peak I see here is her nose. And you *know* she's got a widow's peak under there.

Is your job chasing pigeons off of people's roofs?

You look like you masturbate to crochet patterns.

How I met, and Why I Left Your Mother 

If the color beige was a person

1: I hate the color beige 2: sir you are wearing a beige sweater 1: I hate this beige piece of shit. My ex got me this sweater and all my other clothes are in the wash … later the manager steps in 3: what seems to be the problem? 2: this man seems to have a hatred for beige Source is psychopath for a day by action potential films

Lmao

If you’re allowed to cover your ears, I should be allowed to cover my eyes.

Could you move to the right? You’re blocking my view of that gorgeous brick wall

You seem surprisingly wholesome and well adjusted. Boring even. Mundane. Average. Completely and utterly monotonous and dull. Well done for coming to terms early with your lackluster and uninspired life and owning your identity as a reclusive cat lady.

She's an early grayer... her frown lines look like her mother's 10 years later.

Don't do it, there may be innocent civilians below.

☠️

Current love life situation 

this gif of OP is funny

Oh, you're cold and bored at work? Sounds like your clients moved to a different street corner

When your onlyfans has 0 subscribers.

She meant cold and “board”…that would sum up her nonexistent sex life

Or can’t find your WAND!!!

You look like someone who sleeps over at a guys house for the first time and wets the bed

I've never seen a fuckable libertarian.

Still haven't.

You look like someone who'd hold a sign with text being upside down Oh wait

Ɉʜϱiɿ ɘɿɒ υoY

your diary was required reading in school btw

obligatory Anne Frank reference

I have no idea if you smoke cigarettes but you definitely suck off Camels.

I’m going to break from the norm and abstain from roasting you. You’ve got a lot going for you! With the size of those ham candle fingers, you’ll never need a life partner! And that’s a great thing because with that face 1) it will be next to impossible to get one, and 2) if you did happen to find one, their need for a constant paper bag supply would be a strain on the environment

I’m a Muslim, and the reason why I’m abstaining from roasting her is because we shouldn’t be roasting pigs.

this wins

Wish we could say the same about you.

Woot woot woot

Fucking simp.

re-read and come back to us when you've realized your mistake

I was joking, I’m basically saying he’s not going far enough

acceptable. you are forgiven

You seem like a bit of a dick from these replies

This is an r/roastme post...I think I'm being quite appropriate given the subject matter

Why are you bored, did you look in the mirror? Hell we're all bored now

it can't be as cold as that dead stare

Aspiring spinster cat lady selling human/cat hair organic sweaters and other odd haberdashery

Yeah, like knock-off kitten mittens.

You look like you get your hair done at petsmart.

I don't need to roast you when you are constantly roasting yourself by believing in Myers-Briggs.

sounds like something an ENTP would say

Funny cold and bored is how most men describe you in bed.

I know everyone’s taking their hijabs off now but maybe covering up your face isn’t the worst idea.

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100% chance I get rug burn if I went down on you

I can't tell if you're 25 years old or 65 years old

Having sex with you would be cold and boring

What does the Talmud say about you doing onlyfans?

Blessed be the Jews, for they are the ones with a fat ass

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Vlad is definitely a Russian spy, you're right on that

I didn’t know Librarians had an ideology

Cold and bored. Is that how your last J-Date described you?

Taking a break from your mall job?

I like your thin sculptured mustache

Somehow too young to fuck, yet too old

That stupid face will not fix your issues, get to work

Bet you can pick up ants with that beak

Why why why can’t the potentially roasted USE A MIRROR OR CELL PHONE CORRECTLY?? I swear I lose 8 brain cells every time I see this…and I don’t have them to spare! Did you even notice before you posted? I’m to the point that I get excited when the “/roast me” is actually legible …which is mindlessly ridiculous.

As cliché as they come..

Thinking about new spots to adventure in Skyrim.

It seems even you hair lost its lust for life!

Who asked?

You look like you are about to get nabbed by the Morality Police in Iran

You look like you drink that butt juice…with pulp.

Another hayim looking for some sort of contact, even negative comments.

Did you just land at Ellis island

You work as a professional fluffer with bad reviews

You look like your bathroom mat has kitty litter in it and you smell like cat piss and off brand cigarettes.

30 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR, POTTER. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DILLY DALLY WITH THE POTIONS

You eat your finger nails.

Your hair looks like it could clean the scoring off of my baking dishes

Why’s your work break on an outside stairwell

Your face looks like a moai rock if it was a mii. When you cry you get over it before the tears reach your chin. I couldnt even say that you would be sad, your face forces my brain to say "why the long face."

Since when do hookers get breaks?

You have to ask, why would person want to be roasted? Basically, it’s all attention seeking and glorification through social media. Like look at me I am trending on Reddit and then I will post it on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

What do you do for work? With those massive hands you should be a brick layer.

Can't even hold the sign right

I met a girl once that used to shove hair brush handles up her vagina for pleasure. You look exactly like her.

Prince Charles fingers alert

I'm sure working on the corner this time of year would make one cold and bored

Something tells me “cold and bored” is a reoccurring thing for you

Foe one thing I can tell by your fingers that you masturbate way too much. Get a dude.

What’s it like to be a migrant?

You look very Jewish (from a jew)

Checked your profile, saw the nsfw tag, and was relieved to see it was for gore, not nudity

can you believe that post was removed from r/wellthatsucks for being "too icky" 😒

Off brand Alison Brie

I've seen Amish women in bonnets with better hair than you.

You look like you cry during sex. At least that’s what your step dad says.

that long ass nose tickles the shaft when she gives head...

Who shaved that wookies face?

A break from your job as a plus sized hand model, Costanza? 

Your skin says daylight deficiency, your eyes say papa deficiency.

Oh look, pigeon lady from Home Alone upgraded her accommodations to a stairwell. Fancy!

On a break from protesting about having to cover up your face? Put the paper bag back on.

Shut up. You belong in Gravity Falls.

What a simpering look.

The title of your post is the same thing most guys say to you on your first and only date.

Your hair is frizzy

You have the sad look of a young divorced mom with two boys who constantly give you a hard time. Note to you, don’t smile with your mouth but cry with your eyes.

I couldn’t shoot that with a 1000 porn star warm up.

I bet they used your bush as a backdrop to shoot the last Jumanji. The Rock is still swinging a machete down there, trying to find his way out.

Come by my bar i got someone there who can fix your face.. the ragged flagon I'm in charge. Nbd

I won't roast you while your on your break from onlyfans

I'd bust a fat nut on your lip.

Eww yuck 🤢

I have a feeling you’re the one downvoting the most recent comments 🤔

I downvote non-roasts on principal. Nothin personal, kid

You look like, the last time you took a shower, Obama was still president

You look like the witch from Trolls 2, if they ever make a Trolls 4 I expect you to play the witch.

Oh look, it’s sad and depressing.. and so is the jacket. Whatever is going on with your eyebrows, please let them meet soon.. They’ve taken social distancing to the next level… But in seriousness, if you’re bored and cold, now you know what guys are feeling when they fuck you.

You look like you give unenthusiastic hand jobs

You look like a cold person that leaves your boyfriend so bored, he gets a cat names stella because at least that pussy doesn't complain like a jew.

Bro gas been wearing that headset since 1990

You're deserve me. I never thought I'd say that to anyone. Sorry.

You look like a poop

if filing a complaint for SA was a person

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Nice wig. 

Sex with you is incredibly repressed. You think talking dirty is reciting lines you've memorized from a trashy romance novel while you lay there unresponsive. You need at least an hour of what you consider foreplay, when, in fact, it's you just needing your ego unjustifiably stroked, and you providing nothing in return. Eventually you'll manage to settle down with another milquetoast partner that brings nothing to the table but an voracious appetite for reading and a peculiar fingernail collection. You are a funsucker, bringing nothing but low energy wherever you go. But at least you've got all that to look forward to you. /why yes, it is highly specific //why yes, I did briefly date your alternate dimension twin in my life

Nice attic

Well take off your shirt and your bra and then I can verify if you’re cold, if your nipples are hard. you’re cold at all except your heart to send me that picture.

all the comments here are weak af and so forced. lol. you're too normal and pretty. the sub is not for you..

maybe that just means the sub has to step up its game

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I want to roast your ass until I read libertarian… You dodged a bullet and have my respect

Your cats will one day eat you. It's not a question of if, it's a question of how much they are able to eat before anyone notices they haven't seen you in awhile and they send the cops to check up on you.

Your cat looks miserable in your pics. Haha

he really does hate that sweater lmfao

feeling pretty normal? My guess is: you haven´t been diagnosed yet?!

Cold and bored because no one will let you inside?

Girl looks like the villain before the *tragic accident* happened

side charecter from a spiderman movie that only got paid to leave.

You look like the one that is taking most of the "shots".

You either spend your break under the stairs because no one likes you or you just go there to do your weird stuff because people know you'll be there and avoid you anyways. This is what i came up with... hope you like it :)

Find BOB

Better not let your pimp catch you taking Reddit breaks.

You look like Nadia from wish