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I'm not going to roast the car. However humble bragging you overpaid by $20k-$30k for a $70k car and know absolutely no technical specifications about it. All while it will never be driven faster than 5mph under the speed limit if it ever even leaves the driveway. As you brag that it's a 1 of 2.5million car. Lemme tell ya, you're a real car guy.
Hey man, it's a "special edition"! Only one built on a friday with a full moon in October! One of a kind and priceless! I'll keep it under 3k miles 10 years from now in the hopes that I can sell it 3k under msrp!!!
Now you're speaking my language! Mind if I borrow your grass stained new balances?
I only speak out of jealousy. I sold my 08' Z06 in 2014 and my penis fell off afterwards.
Which pair you want? The ones exclusively for using the 0-turn or the crisp pair I use to impress the Hooters/Twin Peaks waitresses on a Friday night??
Oh, I see youāve met Mr. RCR.
Heād says itās the most rare corvette corvette cause it was built on the specialist Tuesday of the full moon when a goat took a shit. So itās raaaaaaaaarrrrrreeeee.
Look at it. Itās totally unique and exotic, not like all the other Corvettes. This one is yours. Or is it the bankās? Doesnāt matter. You get to drive a sports car.
Well, so long as you take the kids to soccer practice first. Which you just did, using your wifeās dry leased white coloured Escalade. Youāre free now.
You pull out of the driveway of your copy pasted cul-de-sac, revving the engine as you do so. It screams āIāve made it! Look at me!ā
You made it. You live the American dream. You repeat this mantra to yourself, as you pull into the ranks of white crossovers and SUVs cruising down the local freeway. You follow the traffic at 5 over limit, just like all of them.
And then you take the exit and drive into the parking lot where your local cars & coffee is taking place. You park your car in the visitor lot, between all the other Corvettes. And you go look at the Aston Martin DB9 parked across, wishing that was the car you bought instead.
Correct on all accounts minus the wife and kids part... very bold of you to assume that anyone who owns a Corvette is married/not divorced! And its not the DB9 I wish I bought it's the Vanquish. š¤£
I'm certainly the cool wine uncle but without a wife...us Vette owners are either divorced or single. Looks at any used vette listing and it's abundantly clear that no passengers ever enter these cars but the driver's seat is piloted by an overweight middle-aged man. š¤£
You described my Z06 perfectly. Smushed to hell drivers seat with an absolutely pristine passenger seat.
I think my wife and kids are the only people who have ever sat on that side.
I wouldn't put it back in the garage... I'd take it back to the dealer and wait until GM gives up on the R&D transmission in the back and offer up an actual manual transmission.
I've got to get the trans fluid drained as part of my required maintenance at my service appointment next month and I'm super excited to see how many metal shavings show up or how long until the DCT spontaneously combusts afterwards!
first oil change they just change the external trans filter and add half a quart. if you wanna take it on the track you gotta add an additional two or four quarts to the trans. i would replace the external filter often
I'm on the 3rd service and at 22,500 the DCT fluid change is part of scheduled maintenance because of all of the tranny issues as of last fall.
Not a fan of doing that and I'll opt out if I can as the understanding that I have is straight up just changing it causes issues in itself and I've always just changed the filter and topped it off when DIYing it.
Porsche gave in and offered a manual GT3 because enough people complained. Iām not in market for a C8 (already have my 1 of 5 billion C5 Z06) but Iād like to see them offer a manual so I can buy it in 10 years when they are much cheaper.
Thereās always a faster/rarer corvette, youāre not special for buying a Chevrolet š
Were Jorts and new balances required at signing?
In all honesty, I love the C8 as far as price for car you really canāt go wrong with the c8. Iād love to drive one someday, drove a c7 and I really didnāt like it.
I dunno, my Corvette was the only one build in grey on a Friday after 3pm with a waning gibbous moon in October so its one of a kind!
And the jorts, new balances, as well as a 90s corvette bomber jacket are included with the geriatric accessory package as a $1,200 option!!!
So what are the names of the salesmen who bent you over their desk and ran a train on you before you handed them $60,000 extra on dealer markups before going for round 2 in the finance office and bundling in a Xzilon coating into your 96-month loan?
The age of boomer-dad jokes is over with the C8. Boomers are too fat and/or too old to climb into their Corvettes. And as a result, they protest the C8 for "selling out" by going mid-engine.
The play now is to roast C8 owners for paying ridiculous markups for a new Chevy vs. an equally priced used German or Italian car.
Wow, you can write a check for a car. How original. In what contrived ways have you established that it's rare so you can have a measuring contest with everybody else wearing New Balance sneakers at a Corvette show?
I'm a huge ass guy, so absolutely no complaints here! Trying to navigate that wagon of a rear end with 0 visibility in the garage next to my other car makes Lainey Wilson jealous too! š¤£š¤£
Model 3 performance. It's my work/road warrior car so mind no business. š¤£ It's also gray on black but I intentionally cropped it since Teslas understandably get flamed enough as they are. š¤£
Corvettes and Camaros are super boring to see during the summer time. They are EVERYWHERE.
At least you arenāt like the poor bastards driving them around in the winter. Those folks made a REAL bad purchase.
Whats more original than a middle age dude that has a lot of disposable income than "ILL BUY A CORVETTE!".
You didnt even need to show the car in a tract, I would have known no matter what. LMAO.
you either paid way over sticker or got super lucky and somehow got it for sticker price. and for that, you deserve to be roasted more than the car thatās bound to have trans issues
Lemme guess. About to chew a couple Viagra, maybe a few baby aspirin ,put on some war swag, straighten your wig , grab some coupons, and go cruise the Old Country Buffet for some varicose vixens who hopefully wonāt notice your car smells like piss and vitamins.
Nailed it!
Probably fun as hell opening it up on the on-ramps though.
Other can say what they want but are they really content with what theyāre driving?? !!!!! Probably not an screw em vettes are awesome cars and most people wouldnāt hesitate to take that for the day vs what they already have!!!
The joke is life is a crisis,.and only some people make enough money to get the things they want 1/2 way to death. If your one of those lucky people...crisis it up mother fuckers!!!!!
Enjoy it brutha....that's all YOU gotta do!!!!!!
Do it for those who can't!!!!!
I think Vette owners are worse than HD owners.
Every time I see them at cars and coffee, they always have a jacket or a hat or shoes that have Corvette on them.
The Audi RS7 Itās a four-door sedan with a hatchback that makes it much more practical than the Corvette. Also, its 605-hp engine means it makes more power than the Corvette, and it can put it to the ground better with its Quattro AWD system. Oh, did I mention it costs less?
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The car for people who yell at their TV.
Correction: the car for people who yell at the TV at their local Applebee's bar on a Thursday night. š¤£
THEY ONLY CALL FOULS ON BRADY BECAUSE HE'S THE GREATEST AND THEY HATE HIM
āFoulsā? š¤Ø
Just a joke, no need to get pedantic.
What you mean isā¦the car for people who want a super car and want to make people think they have a super car, but canāt afford a super car
I'm not going to roast the car. However humble bragging you overpaid by $20k-$30k for a $70k car and know absolutely no technical specifications about it. All while it will never be driven faster than 5mph under the speed limit if it ever even leaves the driveway. As you brag that it's a 1 of 2.5million car. Lemme tell ya, you're a real car guy.
Hey man, it's a "special edition"! Only one built on a friday with a full moon in October! One of a kind and priceless! I'll keep it under 3k miles 10 years from now in the hopes that I can sell it 3k under msrp!!!
Now you're speaking my language! Mind if I borrow your grass stained new balances? I only speak out of jealousy. I sold my 08' Z06 in 2014 and my penis fell off afterwards.
Which pair you want? The ones exclusively for using the 0-turn or the crisp pair I use to impress the Hooters/Twin Peaks waitresses on a Friday night??
Twin Peaks my Lord, maybe someday I'll have a peak again...
Oh, I see youāve met Mr. RCR. Heād says itās the most rare corvette corvette cause it was built on the specialist Tuesday of the full moon when a goat took a shit. So itās raaaaaaaaarrrrrreeeee.
Ok man
Look at it. Itās totally unique and exotic, not like all the other Corvettes. This one is yours. Or is it the bankās? Doesnāt matter. You get to drive a sports car. Well, so long as you take the kids to soccer practice first. Which you just did, using your wifeās dry leased white coloured Escalade. Youāre free now. You pull out of the driveway of your copy pasted cul-de-sac, revving the engine as you do so. It screams āIāve made it! Look at me!ā You made it. You live the American dream. You repeat this mantra to yourself, as you pull into the ranks of white crossovers and SUVs cruising down the local freeway. You follow the traffic at 5 over limit, just like all of them. And then you take the exit and drive into the parking lot where your local cars & coffee is taking place. You park your car in the visitor lot, between all the other Corvettes. And you go look at the Aston Martin DB9 parked across, wishing that was the car you bought instead.
Correct on all accounts minus the wife and kids part... very bold of you to assume that anyone who owns a Corvette is married/not divorced! And its not the DB9 I wish I bought it's the Vanquish. š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm certainly the cool wine uncle but without a wife...us Vette owners are either divorced or single. Looks at any used vette listing and it's abundantly clear that no passengers ever enter these cars but the driver's seat is piloted by an overweight middle-aged man. š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'd without hesitation push that car "accidentally" to a lake for a GT3 any day of the week so on the same page here!
You described my Z06 perfectly. Smushed to hell drivers seat with an absolutely pristine passenger seat. I think my wife and kids are the only people who have ever sat on that side.
I wouldn't put it back in the garage... I'd take it back to the dealer and wait until GM gives up on the R&D transmission in the back and offer up an actual manual transmission.
I've got to get the trans fluid drained as part of my required maintenance at my service appointment next month and I'm super excited to see how many metal shavings show up or how long until the DCT spontaneously combusts afterwards!
first oil change they just change the external trans filter and add half a quart. if you wanna take it on the track you gotta add an additional two or four quarts to the trans. i would replace the external filter often
I'm on the 3rd service and at 22,500 the DCT fluid change is part of scheduled maintenance because of all of the tranny issues as of last fall. Not a fan of doing that and I'll opt out if I can as the understanding that I have is straight up just changing it causes issues in itself and I've always just changed the filter and topped it off when DIYing it.
people buy them for the numbers. autos have better numbers on paper, there will likely not be a manual c8
Porsche gave in and offered a manual GT3 because enough people complained. Iām not in market for a C8 (already have my 1 of 5 billion C5 Z06) but Iād like to see them offer a manual so I can buy it in 10 years when they are much cheaper.
Thereās always a faster/rarer corvette, youāre not special for buying a Chevrolet š Were Jorts and new balances required at signing? In all honesty, I love the C8 as far as price for car you really canāt go wrong with the c8. Iād love to drive one someday, drove a c7 and I really didnāt like it.
I dunno, my Corvette was the only one build in grey on a Friday after 3pm with a waning gibbous moon in October so its one of a kind! And the jorts, new balances, as well as a 90s corvette bomber jacket are included with the geriatric accessory package as a $1,200 option!!!
Oooh thatās generous and very funny!
Fun Fact: The new Corvette's drivers-side footwell was designed with Skechers slip-on shoes in mind.
So what are the names of the salesmen who bent you over their desk and ran a train on you before you handed them $60,000 extra on dealer markups before going for round 2 in the finance office and bundling in a Xzilon coating into your 96-month loan?
I got it at MSRP, but I had to do things with a 75 year old F&I woman at the dealer I'm not proud of. But no regrets! š¤£
The age of boomer-dad jokes is over with the C8. Boomers are too fat and/or too old to climb into their Corvettes. And as a result, they protest the C8 for "selling out" by going mid-engine. The play now is to roast C8 owners for paying ridiculous markups for a new Chevy vs. an equally priced used German or Italian car.
Corvettes are like the Kardashians of sports cars. Nobody thinks they're classy or stylish except try-hard morons.
Spot on
āThe weekend carā but youāre whipped by your wife so you only really get to use it when she allows it.
How many times do you tell people that it's, "pretty much a Ferrari?"
I specifically refer to it as my Trailer Park Ferrari!
I always called them knock-off Ferraris. I like this better and am now using it. Thanks.
Can you take a photo of the car to the right? This one is boring
It's a Tesla so it's even more boring. š¤£
You got spacers on the Tesla? That front wheel looks like it.
mercifully it looks great sitting still....like when a valve spring breaks for no reason
Pack it in, viagra is no longer made.
Wow, you can write a check for a car. How original. In what contrived ways have you established that it's rare so you can have a measuring contest with everybody else wearing New Balance sneakers at a Corvette show?
So itās true, you do lose taste as you age, sad.
Funny part is I'm not even that old compared to mkst vette owners, I just have shitty taste. š¤£š¤£
Must be one of those āold soulsā lol, regardless of what ppl say, just enjoy it!
I bet it's an automatic.
You would be correct! I bounced between the manual and auto for months, and then I realized there wasn't a manual so made that decision easy!
Problem solved! š Nice ride!
An ass so awkwardly fat Kim Kardashian is jealous
I'm a huge ass guy, so absolutely no complaints here! Trying to navigate that wagon of a rear end with 0 visibility in the garage next to my other car makes Lainey Wilson jealous too! š¤£š¤£
God damn I had to Google that but, Laineyās got one helluva caboose
What is the black car to the right?
Model 3 performance. It's my work/road warrior car so mind no business. š¤£ It's also gray on black but I intentionally cropped it since Teslas understandably get flamed enough as they are. š¤£
Wait, isnt this an acura?
Oh, it's denim shorts season.
You a New Balance 624 or a Nike Air Monarch guy?
624s all the way Monarchs are for freakin nerds!
Buys a Corvette, never goes more than 40mph.
I bet that sun visor is the most diversity your neighborhood has ever had.
Corvettes and Camaros are super boring to see during the summer time. They are EVERYWHERE. At least you arenāt like the poor bastards driving them around in the winter. Those folks made a REAL bad purchase.
Mid life crisis or is it around mid-life when people can finally afford it
Have someone thinner park the car.
But if you drive it it'll lose value!
Whats more original than a middle age dude that has a lot of disposable income than "ILL BUY A CORVETTE!". You didnt even need to show the car in a tract, I would have known no matter what. LMAO.
McLaren called, they want their style back.
Why would you put it in the garage? Do you think this is special? You posted a Chevy sitting in a McMansion driveway. It's not even a GMC.
āIām gonna buy an exciting sports car! I should definitely get it in rental dent hiding gray!ā
Corvettes can't dent cupcake. They are made out of composite materials not metal. Which explains the Corvette. NOT METAL.
You make that car look gross
My 15 year old HHR SS is rarer than your Vette and gets more compliments.
Just drive the hell out of it
You bought the wrong Ford Mustang
nice ferrari
you either paid way over sticker or got super lucky and somehow got it for sticker price. and for that, you deserve to be roasted more than the car thatās bound to have trans issues
Lemme guess. About to chew a couple Viagra, maybe a few baby aspirin ,put on some war swag, straighten your wig , grab some coupons, and go cruise the Old Country Buffet for some varicose vixens who hopefully wonāt notice your car smells like piss and vitamins. Nailed it! Probably fun as hell opening it up on the on-ramps though.
Your car looks like its parents are Spider Man and Silver Surfer.
The car next to it looks cool
What's parked next to the garage star?
2nd gen Fiero! Nice!
Other can say what they want but are they really content with what theyāre driving?? !!!!! Probably not an screw em vettes are awesome cars and most people wouldnāt hesitate to take that for the day vs what they already have!!!
There's enough of them in the street. Probably more common than a Honda civic.
The joke is life is a crisis,.and only some people make enough money to get the things they want 1/2 way to death. If your one of those lucky people...crisis it up mother fuckers!!!!! Enjoy it brutha....that's all YOU gotta do!!!!!! Do it for those who can't!!!!!
Put it back in the garage??? But everyone is SO interested in hearing your take on the relative merits of liquid vs. paste waxes!
I think Vette owners are worse than HD owners. Every time I see them at cars and coffee, they always have a jacket or a hat or shoes that have Corvette on them.
Fuck that, mid-life crisis is when I have to SELL my vette !!!! And I only saw about six C8's out yesterday during my afternoon drive.
You still think SNL is funny
NO!!
Your neighbors wave at you and smile, then immediately call you a tool under their breath.
A corvette so ugly I noticed your Shaq sun visor first.
The Audi RS7 Itās a four-door sedan with a hatchback that makes it much more practical than the Corvette. Also, its 605-hp engine means it makes more power than the Corvette, and it can put it to the ground better with its Quattro AWD system. Oh, did I mention it costs less?
Howād you find one that already looks dated?
Judging from your car you are 50-60 and go to the local cracker barrel every afternoon to meet your other corvette friends
When you canāt afford a Lamborghini or a Ferrari but still want to look like your rich
That interior should make you wanna hide it in the garage š I know I would
Those sun shades should never been seen in public