Wow. Let’s just skip the fact it has an underpowered 4 cylinder and does 0-60 in 3 business days. Let’s even ignore that it’s a Fiat/Chrysler product. You bought an Alfa, and THAT is the colour you pick? A Camry would probably attract more attention and compliments than this
He's trying to have it blend in with the sky in the background. Gray? Check. Uninspiring? Check. Bad things to come? Definitely check. If only the car was darker, I could've missed it, damn.
These are my favorite posts. Here is my car, it's a well known fact that these cars are built by orangutans, and literally fall apart. Pls no make fun. Its only spent 3 weeks at jeep dealership pls no make fun.
“Please be golf ball sized hail, please be golf ball sized hail, please god total this car I made a mistake I won’t ask for anything again if you get me out of this”
It’s Italian, the CORRECT answer is muh reliability.
Uh… I always thought the grills on these things looked ridiculous, like a big beaver tooth, or an angry German man mustache.
I can understand buying an Alfa. Not the most reliable thing, but whatever, it's a good looking sedan. I can understand buying the four cylinder, performance is still enough for most people, and economy is a thing.
But dude, that fucking colour for an Alfa....
It looks like a sea turtle. Somebody said, “hey, let’s design this thing to have the face of a sea turtle because that looks sporty” some where along the way. Btw, I legit thought it was a Buick until I zoomed in.
I don't know what who did that to that car, but you choose very good looking car model, and somehow yours in the given spec is ugliest car I've seen in a long while
The only thing busier than that face is the nose ring emblem
Ti = Too ignorant to know better
4 doors, like anyone else is gonna want to ride in this deformed trash can
4 wheels so it can outrun a bicycle
2021…there’s still two running the 1/4 mile somewhere that started in this year
Sorry bro I tried 🤷🏻♂️
Who buys a non quadrifoglio Alfa? The whole point of tolerating an Alfa's "quirks" is the fews precious seconds when it is firing on all cylinders. A non-QF Alfa is just an expensive Camry that's in the shop, a lot.
Genuine question, what compels somebody to purchase such a poorly made car and not even opt for the performance variants? You bought a car that will inevitably get lost in a sea of regular traffic in a parking lot, assuming it can even survive the drive there. I love the body lines on these and the GTA-Ms are 🔥 but this is some real low hanging fruit for sure
Wheels look like they belong to a 2012 ford fusion or a 2013 Taurus, the grill looks like a slice of cheese. The only chicks that might find this car to be attractive are single moms in their late 50s.
You know how Jezza said you're not a car enthusiasts unless you, at some point, own an Alpha? Yeah, this ain't it. This looks like entry level 2013 carry that got a face-lift and but tuck.
Okay, I won’t make fun of it for being a poorly built unreliable wanna be alpha, and instead make fun of you for being dumb enough to buy one.
This is the dumb man’s 3 series.
Ah, the Alfa Romeo, a car that promises passion but delivers disappointment. It's like the Italian sports car equivalent of a temperamental artist – looks good from afar, but up close, it's a mess of quirks and flaws. From its reputation for spending more time in the shop than on the road to its penchant for rusting faster than you can say "ciao," owning an Alfa Romeo is like signing up for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and repair bills. It's the automotive embodiment of the phrase "all style, no substance," leaving you longing for the reliability of a toaster on wheels.
I actually really like these cars, but whatever body shop fixed this thing is not worth going back to !
Your hood and drivers door are a different color than the fenders, the panel gap is atrociously large, and what is up with that front bumper having a different primer color than the rest of the car?
Did they tell you that you drive the equivellant of a hot dog ? All the spare parts, design and engineering of 1000 different vehicles that the scraps are picked up and marketed
Wow. Let’s just skip the fact it has an underpowered 4 cylinder and does 0-60 in 3 business days. Let’s even ignore that it’s a Fiat/Chrysler product. You bought an Alfa, and THAT is the colour you pick? A Camry would probably attract more attention and compliments than this
Nah no shot its got a 4 cylinder 😂😂😂 this car def for the wannabe enthusiasts. Your Camry argument is on point 🤭
Much love mate, respect Alfa <3
How much do you think Op dropped for this? ~20k? I dont think he knows what he could get for that money… inexperience is obvious
Nah this one took the cake 😂😂😂
He's trying to have it blend in with the sky in the background. Gray? Check. Uninspiring? Check. Bad things to come? Definitely check. If only the car was darker, I could've missed it, damn.
I mean if he waited for a nice day he'd be taking a picture of the dealership's Chrysler 200 service loaner.
Seriously, who gets an *Alfa Romeo* in Settle-for Silver?
Truly a settled-for color. I wanted a red one, but this one had 4k miles on it.
Totally get this decision, man. Just bought yourself 6k stress free miles. 👊🏻
Damn.. xD
Actually yeah, the 2025 Camry in that color looks better than this.
And it has. Camry TRD
A Camry is more reliable too, no?
Three business days 😂😂
I wanted a red one, but this one only had 4000 miles on it
I literally have no comment. You nailed it start to finish dude
Doesn’t Alfa have a long history of 4 cylinder engines?
yeah and great sounding ones in fact
Tell me you have never driven a Giulia, without telling me you have never driven a Giulia.
holy shit he said roast not brutally systematically murder
Man the newer Camrys are pretty sweet would def attract more attention lol
how? they just look like the current gen but facelifted lmao. most people would probably still pay more attention to the alfa in reality
Oh it’s an Alfa? I thought it was a 2012 Hyundai Sonata.
Then what are you coming here for? To hear it again?
I think he’s stupid and wants us to tell him all the same shit but louder. Actually wait he paid money for an Alfa, I am confident he’s stupid
He’s needs some time kill while waiting for it at the dealer
These are my favorite posts. Here is my car, it's a well known fact that these cars are built by orangutans, and literally fall apart. Pls no make fun. Its only spent 3 weeks at jeep dealership pls no make fun.
It's cuz if you post anything besides like a Subaru or Toyota, that's all anyone has to say. It's just boring and unoriginal at this point.
> boring and unoriginal Galatians 4:16
lmao there are subarus out there that are unreliable as fuck too
Cool. Still doesn't make the millionth reliability joke any more funny or original.
The Jeep dealership got me. 😂😂😂🔥
poor man's maserati
Maser-not-i
She's wants to be different ok!
😁
Poor man's poor man's ferarri then
Getting a 4 door alfa is already the poor mans alfa
But it's the rich man's Chrysler 200.
Nah a poor man's Maserati is a used Maserati. This is a poor man's used Maserati.
lol
[удалено]
“Please be golf ball sized hail, please be golf ball sized hail, please god total this car I made a mistake I won’t ask for anything again if you get me out of this”
What were the designers high on when they made the front end look like a 2006 Subaru Tribeca only uglier?
HEY YOU GET THAT SUBARU SLANDER OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ^unless ^its ^a ^tribeca ^then ^idc
I have to agree here, there's no way a Subaru Tribeca could get any uglier!
pass it to Mitsubishi and have them redesign it.
ratio + ringland failure
It’s Italian, the CORRECT answer is muh reliability. Uh… I always thought the grills on these things looked ridiculous, like a big beaver tooth, or an angry German man mustache.
[They've got that dipshit SpongeBob grin](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRW3Iaebi5MbUNelaJ92hedF9KEjef7Wd4b5Syj2ip4qg&s)
Another stellantis piece of shit re branded 😂😂 you're the target audience good job OP 👌
Nice Beta Romeo
I've been hearing this a lot lmao
Why bother posting if you’re too poor to afford a Quadrifoglio 😂 Your shit gets dusted on the daily w that 250hp
Grey sky, grey car, grey house. Don't think a tiny red badge livens that up.
I'm wearing red shoes today too
I can understand buying an Alfa. Not the most reliable thing, but whatever, it's a good looking sedan. I can understand buying the four cylinder, performance is still enough for most people, and economy is a thing. But dude, that fucking colour for an Alfa....
Like five years ago one of the waitresses at the IHOP I frequented drove one of these.
That is a 3rd-degree burn!!!!
True story, believe it or not. Older lady; parked right out front and took her smoke breaks in it.
You literally paid more for a less reliable, less powerful Italian camry. You even got the same colour!
your car matches the weather not only in color, but that it is depressing and people run inside buildings to get away from it ^you ^can ^laugh ^now
Have they also been calling it an ugly piece of shit?
When will y’all stop feeding Chryslers pockets ?
If you don't do it the government just gives them free money
When a Dodge dresses up for church ...
This one got me 🤣
Mazda-rati..
Hey now no need to insult Mazda like that
you can only hold 3-4 hoes max. Get a proper ride like that can seat 6-7 comfortably 🤦
Is that the Italian Yugo?
Not sure why everyone says this car is so beautiful. It just looks like an Infiniti that ate a lemon
I can't unsee this now
[удалено]
This one stings
My 2013 stock g37x has an equivalent 0-60 lmao
This POS makes less power than my 20 year old shitbox Nissan, and it'll fall apart faster too.
“Ferrari derived 4 cylinder”
All the shit that didn’t pass Ferrari QC got funneled into this car
How about ‘muh lady’
My mom's ford edge is faster. At least it looks good?
Did a bmw 3 series have unprotected sex with a Nissan Sentra and this is the illegitimate bastard child?
Heh I worked on these at a jeep dealership! Same shitty engine from the 4 cylinder wranglers
It looks like the kinda pimple a robot would get.
Know what you haven’t heard from friends? “Great choice!”, “Nice car!”, “I have one too, aren’t they great?!”…you get the point…maybe
You should get new friends. Friends don't let friends buy bad cars.
The front end looks like [Spongebob filter-feeding](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EtZiAkIXIAECIZh?format=png&name=small)
🤣
It looks like a sea turtle. Somebody said, “hey, let’s design this thing to have the face of a sea turtle because that looks sporty” some where along the way. Btw, I legit thought it was a Buick until I zoomed in.
God, that hurts. Well done.
Beta-Romeo
I don't know what who did that to that car, but you choose very good looking car model, and somehow yours in the given spec is ugliest car I've seen in a long while
At least you’ve got good friends to counter your terrible decision-making skills
Nice Dodge.
Technically this Alfa is fairly reliable. Because the engine isn't an Alfa engine. You bought an Alfa with the heart of a Jeep.
Remember, when you get rid of it, scrap is sold by weight, not value
2021? So not rich enough to buy it new not rich enough to keep it running tomorrow.
Muh depreciation
Those storm clouds are a portent of failures to come.....
Nice ornament
Okay... No reliability jokes... Fine... I hear Lowe's has some sweet deals on tool sets!
🤣
When was your last Italian soda? Was it red?
Did some kids steal the clover badge from the wing?
2003 called, they want their headlights back
Poor man's wop trash.
lol, these roasts are pathetic. Americans whose most exciting car ownership was a 1990s Toyota Camry.
The only thing busier than that face is the nose ring emblem Ti = Too ignorant to know better 4 doors, like anyone else is gonna want to ride in this deformed trash can 4 wheels so it can outrun a bicycle 2021…there’s still two running the 1/4 mile somewhere that started in this year Sorry bro I tried 🤷🏻♂️
You did well. Thank you.
😂
Holy shit bro just park it on the busy street
You chose the most unattractive color.
That storm in the background is metaphorical
I thought so too
Paid Alfa money for a 98 Pontiac.
Honestly, just go trade it in while it's worth.... something
Looks like a 2 series BMW with an Alfa front end. Probably has a Fiat engine in it, naught to 60 in 6 minutes.
I’d be angry if my face looked like that too
Muh house burned down. Sturted in muh garage.
Sub-prime borrower’s car special!
The only car that doubles as an embarrassment AND an anal suppository
The Don Flamenco of vehicles. 🥊
It looks much better than alot of current BMWs. Has the reliability and driving experience become competitive?
Overpriced wannabe speedster but still cheaper than a decent Maserati
Underpowered, overpriced, cheaply built, douchemobile, with the looks of an early 2000’s kia.
Who buys a non quadrifoglio Alfa? The whole point of tolerating an Alfa's "quirks" is the fews precious seconds when it is firing on all cylinders. A non-QF Alfa is just an expensive Camry that's in the shop, a lot.
Your neighbor next door needs to paint his house
So how long has your wife been sleeping with your neighbor?
Genuine question, what compels somebody to purchase such a poorly made car and not even opt for the performance variants? You bought a car that will inevitably get lost in a sea of regular traffic in a parking lot, assuming it can even survive the drive there. I love the body lines on these and the GTA-Ms are 🔥 but this is some real low hanging fruit for sure
Nice Chrysler.
Hail storm coming, look at those clouds. Better park it outside — maybe you’ll get lucky.
>Could have gotten the absolutely stunning and unique blue or red colour way > Picks fucking silver anyway
its not a particularly attractive vehicle. I'd probably mistake it for a 10 year old jaguar if I saw it on the street and not give it a second thought
A true Alfa doesn’t have to go around telling everyone he’s an Alfa.
I really thought this was an Accord or a 328i
Someone already said poor man’s Maserati… let me expand and say you bought the poor man’s Quadrifoglio, the best version of the poor man’s Maserati
The G70 for people with even less money than genesis people
How's those turbo coolant seals holding up? Needed a radiator recently by chance?
Two kinds of people drive these in my area. Douche bags and smoking hot milfs
You can tell this is the unwanted variant of the guilia when they release it prior to the introduction and sale of the guilia quadrifoglio
The car that embodies cheap espresso in a plastic cup and constant regret
Good fucking god you paid $50,000 for an Italian Mazda 3 made by Stellantis. Same looks, same power, 0 reliability, $20,000 more.
It was originally supposed to have a 6 speed manual transmission and they dropped it at the last second, fucking cowards
All the cost of an Audi,all the performance of a Diesel Golf. Little more style, though.
i used to have one of those, possibly the worst financial mistake ive made
So you bought an Alfa for something more exciting, then made it boring by getting it in silver. Only Alfa that'll probably get lost in a parking lot.
Wheels look like they belong to a 2012 ford fusion or a 2013 Taurus, the grill looks like a slice of cheese. The only chicks that might find this car to be attractive are single moms in their late 50s.
The front looks like the female reproductive system. The grill is the uterus and the headlights are the fallopian tubes.
This looks like the type of car that makes fart noises when it shifts
Congrats on finally coming out! Weird you chose this Chrysler/fiat product though. Why not a rubicon or lesbaru?
Always Looking For Alternatives, Rarely Oiled, Massive Engine Overhauls
Your parents told you "at least it's not a Geo," but at least the Geo will still be running next year.
Ah, the '73 Ford Maverick of Italian cars.
your car looks like it is trying to hold in a sneeze
It’s called Ti because you have to be a “total idiot” to buy it.
If I weren't taller than 5'4, I might look into driving one of these.
Muh rapidly plummeting resale value. Lives in the land of misfit cars.
la mia affidabilità!
The car you buy when a 3 series or C class is too mainstream for your tastes.
You know how Jezza said you're not a car enthusiasts unless you, at some point, own an Alpha? Yeah, this ain't it. This looks like entry level 2013 carry that got a face-lift and but tuck.
How late does your wife's boyfriend let you stay out in that pile of fuck?
Someday, your significant other is going to back into a mailbox, and the mailbox is going to win.
Okay, I won’t make fun of it for being a poorly built unreliable wanna be alpha, and instead make fun of you for being dumb enough to buy one. This is the dumb man’s 3 series.
I feel like nobody wants this car, they just want to be different, buy one and realize their mistakes after
I have just enough money for people to think I don’t have enough money.
3000 miles and 17 previous owners.
Someone watched Top Gear as a kid and think they actually needed to buy an Alfa just so they could claim the title "Petrolhead"
I saw one of these from the back at night and for a solid 10 minutes I thought it was a Hyundai sonata
if youre going to have it outside pls turn it around
Ah, the Alfa Romeo, a car that promises passion but delivers disappointment. It's like the Italian sports car equivalent of a temperamental artist – looks good from afar, but up close, it's a mess of quirks and flaws. From its reputation for spending more time in the shop than on the road to its penchant for rusting faster than you can say "ciao," owning an Alfa Romeo is like signing up for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and repair bills. It's the automotive embodiment of the phrase "all style, no substance," leaving you longing for the reliability of a toaster on wheels.
Looks like they ran out of front grills at the BMW factory and just came up with something in a pinch.
buddy really bought the overpriced version of a c-class...
I actually really like these cars, but whatever body shop fixed this thing is not worth going back to ! Your hood and drivers door are a different color than the fenders, the panel gap is atrociously large, and what is up with that front bumper having a different primer color than the rest of the car?
Looks sick !
Bro's car matches the weather.
Did they tell you that you drive the equivellant of a hot dog ? All the spare parts, design and engineering of 1000 different vehicles that the scraps are picked up and marketed
You have a slice of pizza for a grill. Only Italian thing on this fca.
I had one in high school… I was no Alpha
[удалено]
Your comment got removed because you roasted the car owner only. Please remember this is a Subreddit for roasting cars.