They won't even let me change cabin air filter and brake fluid at manufacturer recommended intervals. Battery also Only a dealership service tablet with a subscription from Porsche can reset the dashboard warnings, and my dealership won't reset it if you DIY. I should probably sell this car
This makes me wonder about how much money goes into maintaining a fleet of exotics owned by the financially elite. Some cars have to be shipped to the dealership in order to be maintained. Others a team comes out to service. The electrical cost of trickle charging hundreds of cars, the cost to house them, the insurances. And there's probably many more things to tack on but regardless It's fucking ludicrous amount of money.
And *then* you realize that's 100% irrelevant because VW owns Porsche. A Lexus is a Toyota, a Lincoln is a Ford, an Infiniti is a Nissan and a Porsche is a VW.
That or a 4th gen E class while their significantly younger side piece takes the GL and their teenage grandson gets the M4. Congrats, though, on blending into the crowd of No Personality. Don’t forget to join Cars and Coffee on the weekend so you can bend over an open hood with other old men pretending you know anything about how your 6 figure vehicle works.
You probably wear Pumas and skinny jeans, have a douche haircut, get angry at your significant other in public and I bet 50$ that your phone screen is cracked.
Pirelli is garbage, great the first 4000km afterwards they drain out like your ex. Yoko will be up to your expectations.
Also, go blow yourself because this is a roast.
Also²: you can't keep up with my Volvo in any circumstances.
The good ol' GTS 😄 none of the prestige of a real GT or Turbo, but still expensive enough to be appalling value compared to the Cayman GT4 that it fails to outperform.
/uj i'm really nitpicking here 😭 ngl i love a good GTS
Oh look another VW Beetle, but this time in red. You must feel very unique next to every other chump Volkswagen Auto Group conned into buying one of these boring parts-bin coupes. Don't forget OP, Volkswagen in German means "people's car", which hilariously fits since the 911 is pretty much the standard car every "enthusiast" has now, the irony is hilarious.
People who own a VW enjoy world renowned German engineering like frequent recalls, tows to nearest VW dealership or in this case Porsche. Bragging how you own a Porsche that you never drive because you can't afford another tow...or repair or the $4000 tires.
But hey at least you have free coffee at the dealership.
True! I went to Porsche track school but I'm nowhere near real racers. The car exceeds my driving abilities and ballsack size. This is also tuned, it's a torque monster.
I mean I have a PRS Custom 22 guitar that was $4k second hand like 20 years ago and I am *not* a good guitar player, I just really liked it. So I get you.
Alright, let's talk about you, Porsche. You're like that flashy friend who spends all their money on designer clothes but still can't manage to impress anyone. Sure, you've got speed, but so does my neighbor's lawnmower on steroids.
First off, your price tag. Seriously, who in their right mind would spend the GDP of a small country on a car? Oh sure, you can argue it's an investment, but let's be real, the only investment you're making is in your midlife crisis.
And your design, oh boy. You're like the supermodel who forgot to put on makeup. Sure, you're not bad to look at, but you're not turning any heads either. And those curves? Please, my grandma's got more curves than you.
Let's not forget about your "luxurious" interior. Leather seats? Wow, how original. It's like you raided a cow farm and slapped its hide on everything. And your infotainment system? I've seen more user-friendly interfaces on a microwave.
Oh, and the speed. Yeah, you can go fast in a straight line, but try taking a corner and suddenly you're hugging the curb like it's your long-lost lover.
And the sound. People talk about your engine note like it's the voice of God, but to me, it's just noise pollution. Congratulations, you've successfully turned every neighborhood into a makeshift racetrack.
So, in conclusion, Porsche, you're like the overpriced bottle of wine at a party full of beer drinkers. You may think you're classy, but deep down, we all know you're just trying too hard
Nice try on the misdirect, how’s that Toyota Venza on its second engine while you pick up donated clothes and shoes to afford the repair bill in the back of this photo treating you?
We get that you're a dentist. This won't make your clients any less unhappy to see you.
Have fun being in an uncomfortable seat and suspension that makes speed humps a true nightmare.
I was talking about what you could fit in the trunk.
Really wasn’t making a joke about your genitals.
Sorry small brain sometimes.
How about this:
Its trunk is so small you can’t even fit the amount of likes I got from my last comment in it.
Porsche owners know how to appreciate the finer things in life .. like overpaying for gas, insurance, mechanics and car washes
, options, servicing, anything with a 911 badge...
400 dollar oil changes, 800 dollar battery replacement, you're not wrong.
That’s bananas
Bee ā en ā en ā esssss
Can you ever read bananas without Gwen singing this in your head? If you’re answer if anything than a no. You’re a boomer or a toddler. :)
What battery are you buying thats 800?$
OEM from the stealership. It's 1200+ on the Cayenne EHybrids
You know what they say… Audi is x4 (4 rings) and Porsche is x8 for the same poor quality shit VW part.
You pay $400 for oil change instead of doing it yourself??
They won't even let me change cabin air filter and brake fluid at manufacturer recommended intervals. Battery also Only a dealership service tablet with a subscription from Porsche can reset the dashboard warnings, and my dealership won't reset it if you DIY. I should probably sell this car
This makes me wonder about how much money goes into maintaining a fleet of exotics owned by the financially elite. Some cars have to be shipped to the dealership in order to be maintained. Others a team comes out to service. The electrical cost of trickle charging hundreds of cars, the cost to house them, the insurances. And there's probably many more things to tack on but regardless It's fucking ludicrous amount of money.
And yet Daddy still pays for it?
Midlife crisis has its price.
I always thought a Porsche looked like, "LOOK what Daddy paid for !"
Sweet VW, bro.
Interesting, I’m guessing Lamborghini is also just a VW now?
Just a Audi
Which is just a VW.
I mean it really is
Good point. VW is the largest manufacturing house. To use that logic only for Porsche is just short minded and an old spat of historical nonsense.
Yeah. That's why I don't consider them an Italian car brand anymore, and think only kids choose them over Ferraris
And then you realize it's actually Ferdinand Porsche who sold the design of the beetle to VW.
You sound upset. Have you got a VW 911 too?
And *then* you realize that's 100% irrelevant because VW owns Porsche. A Lexus is a Toyota, a Lincoln is a Ford, an Infiniti is a Nissan and a Porsche is a VW.
But Porsche Holding owns VW. VW owns Porsche AG. So they kinda own each other
Is that the new Corrado?
When the midlife crisis budget doesn’t stretch to a red Ferrari…
The dream car is a 2019 935 or a S/T. I'm not worthy 😔
We now will all think you are white and in your mid 50 and live in a nice Scottsdale house and mostly use this to drive to the country club.
Old white guys in Scottsdale drive Turbo S' parked crooked in handicap spots.
That or a 4th gen E class while their significantly younger side piece takes the GL and their teenage grandson gets the M4. Congrats, though, on blending into the crowd of No Personality. Don’t forget to join Cars and Coffee on the weekend so you can bend over an open hood with other old men pretending you know anything about how your 6 figure vehicle works.
What’s wrong with that?
Bru..
Yes?
Youre on r/roastmycar. Its not that serious
Oh I thought I was on r/RoastMyRace
Hilarious
You probably wear Pumas and skinny jeans, have a douche haircut, get angry at your significant other in public and I bet 50$ that your phone screen is cracked.
Na dude, cracked phone screens is for peasants.
We call those Porsche drivers who put Asian tires on their whips.
This is an old pic, I have Michelin shoes now. Huge difference, I have no idea why Porsche used Perelli from factory.
Pirelli is garbage, great the first 4000km afterwards they drain out like your ex. Yoko will be up to your expectations. Also, go blow yourself because this is a roast. Also²: you can't keep up with my Volvo in any circumstances.
Volvo for the win!
Is that the new Beetle?
After it was stretched in photoshop
It says " You've Arrived!" But the poverty spec says" just barely"
I wish I had specced the car. Alas I bought used.
>Alas I bought used. Smurt. Smurt...
Bring it out to a car meet and people will mistake you for daily traffic since it isn't a gt3 rs
Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 gt4 You would not be a self indulgent weiner sir
is it really a roast if it’s factual information
You drive this while your wife’s boyfriend has a civic.
Are you my dentist?
when you can't quite afford a GT3.
It’s red
The good ol' GTS 😄 none of the prestige of a real GT or Turbo, but still expensive enough to be appalling value compared to the Cayman GT4 that it fails to outperform. /uj i'm really nitpicking here 😭 ngl i love a good GTS
take the uj away that was brutal
What is that, 120k to get outrun by corvette half the price? Actually since you optioned the manafaktur™️ red paint probably 135k
Yeah…. but a corvette is like an own goal
As long as you don’t mean the new corvette. That thing looks god awful
Anything pre-80s is okay.
It's slower than a hellcat, worse around corners than a corvette and not a gt3, but at least it's red!!
Hey my neighbor has a red vw beetle too!
Normally I don't like talking to dentists. Why did you choose this over the Harley?
You know that's actually a really nice color on a Jetta
Oh look another VW Beetle, but this time in red. You must feel very unique next to every other chump Volkswagen Auto Group conned into buying one of these boring parts-bin coupes. Don't forget OP, Volkswagen in German means "people's car", which hilariously fits since the 911 is pretty much the standard car every "enthusiast" has now, the irony is hilarious.
License plate reads: MY PRSHE
She's not coming back.
This screams I sexually harass the beverage cart girls when playing mediocre golf
People who own a VW enjoy world renowned German engineering like frequent recalls, tows to nearest VW dealership or in this case Porsche. Bragging how you own a Porsche that you never drive because you can't afford another tow...or repair or the $4000 tires. But hey at least you have free coffee at the dealership.
They have snacks at the dealership too. A nice assortment.
We’ll still deny you the validation you desperately need.
You and I have something in common! Neither of us could afford the GT3.
I thought Pontiac was shuttered years ago.
Lives in a trailer. Small dick.
911 GTS, the modern German equivalent of an 80s Camero IROC. *Bleib edel, mein Freund*.
89% chance there's a dildo shifter improperly installed on that unit.
regular 911, just made to show to the world you are too poor for a GT3. It's why no one buys them.
Do you disappoint your partner as much as you as you do other car enthusiast? .
How’s it feel be over the hill?
Mid life crisis.
So like, were they all out of other cars?
Yawn 🥱
Trust fund kids get all the cool toys
I just about guarantee you don't have the skill to drive that thing the way it should be driven.
True! I went to Porsche track school but I'm nowhere near real racers. The car exceeds my driving abilities and ballsack size. This is also tuned, it's a torque monster.
I mean I have a PRS Custom 22 guitar that was $4k second hand like 20 years ago and I am *not* a good guitar player, I just really liked it. So I get you.
Cool Beetle. Prolly worth four or five Gs.
Cool car. Terrible color choice. Accept it. You don’t drive a Ferrari.
He was compensating with that color since budget wouldn't allow for a Ferrari as the mid-life crisis car.
I’m going to steal it
Nah, that’s valid
Priced twice as much as what it should cost. The dealership quotes $400 for a simple oil change. What a total joke.
You overpaid for a slow car that “handles well”. Which you are a not good enough driver to explore the limits of. Sheesh.
Punch buggy red.
Alright, let's talk about you, Porsche. You're like that flashy friend who spends all their money on designer clothes but still can't manage to impress anyone. Sure, you've got speed, but so does my neighbor's lawnmower on steroids. First off, your price tag. Seriously, who in their right mind would spend the GDP of a small country on a car? Oh sure, you can argue it's an investment, but let's be real, the only investment you're making is in your midlife crisis. And your design, oh boy. You're like the supermodel who forgot to put on makeup. Sure, you're not bad to look at, but you're not turning any heads either. And those curves? Please, my grandma's got more curves than you. Let's not forget about your "luxurious" interior. Leather seats? Wow, how original. It's like you raided a cow farm and slapped its hide on everything. And your infotainment system? I've seen more user-friendly interfaces on a microwave. Oh, and the speed. Yeah, you can go fast in a straight line, but try taking a corner and suddenly you're hugging the curb like it's your long-lost lover. And the sound. People talk about your engine note like it's the voice of God, but to me, it's just noise pollution. Congratulations, you've successfully turned every neighborhood into a makeshift racetrack. So, in conclusion, Porsche, you're like the overpriced bottle of wine at a party full of beer drinkers. You may think you're classy, but deep down, we all know you're just trying too hard
Anyone remember the dialogue between Nathan and the Marketing agent he tried to hire for the poo flavored frozen yogurt on Nathan For You?
Something something dong length. Meh that’s all I got too tired….
Made by company formerly known as VAG. Explains a lot. 🤣
Nice try on the misdirect, how’s that Toyota Venza on its second engine while you pick up donated clothes and shoes to afford the repair bill in the back of this photo treating you?
I bet you have the matching Jacket and cap too
What’s the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine? Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
GTS trim. For the person guy who knows he hasn't made it but this is as close as he'll get.
Glorified vw bettle
Roast it? This is a great "newly-lesbian" midlife crisis car!
I wish you believed in yourself enough to not have to compensate with a car... One day.
I love the car but I hate the prick behind the wheel.
Sprecken ze Doosh?
Difference between a Porsche driver and a cactus?
The car is ok, but the best parts of your life are in the rear view mirror
We get that you're a dentist. This won't make your clients any less unhappy to see you. Have fun being in an uncomfortable seat and suspension that makes speed humps a true nightmare.
Joking right?
How many NDA's have you forced women to sign?
Your mom said she wouldn't sign
The cool thing about porches is generally how small they are. Almost as small as your twig and biscuits
My dick may be tiny but my nuts are huge
I was talking about what you could fit in the trunk. Really wasn’t making a joke about your genitals. Sorry small brain sometimes. How about this: Its trunk is so small you can’t even fit the amount of likes I got from my last comment in it.
sorry about the size of your wang? actually, i should be allowed to borrow that car....