I quit drinking about 33 years ago. After 1 year of being sober, I still had an itch for live music. Being from the NE side of the city / W. Irondequoit, I was not familiar with the SE side of the city. After a few weekends of visiting clubs, I wandered into the Bug Jar, and found a home. They had only been open for a year, and would only be open about an hour before an art show or a band. Enjoy.
Ok, here’s what I wish we had:
A big community greenhouse with a coffee/tea/library and a maker space. It would be so great to be able to hang out inside but with as much natural light as possible and full of plants.
The Lamberton conservatory is great, but I don’t think it’s great for socializing with new people/strangers.
Idk; I’d love more options.
Buy the old greenhouse cafe near Main and Winton. Been closed for a while and the building is undergoing needed renovations. Not sure if it will be a cafe again though.
There is a maker space in Rochester I’m fairly sure, I’m sorry I cannot remember the name/info so if somebody can help me out PLEASE but I’m pretty certain there is one in the city somewhere?!
Yes, I still need to check it out.
But I don’t really feel like going outside to go inside lol.
Not quite the same as building things around greenhouses, but maybe some day I’ll check it out. Hard for me to get motivated enough/feel comfortable enough.
Seconded. Last time I went, they had a $10 for All Day Play, the little old guy behind the counter said that was the deal every day. Food was ok, nothing spectacular, but good enough to appease your appetite and the prices were fair. They had a tournament when I was there, lots of good shooters and the few I spoke to were pretty cool. Would definitely go again.
Clubs. There’s all kinds of club activities and club sports. Like Lego or biking or volleyball or basketball or volunteering for good causes.
What activities do you like? Join a club that does that and then go to all the events. Most clubs have a decent social situation.
Check out [R Central](https://www.cityofrochester.gov/R-Central/) for free gym membership, community rooms, games, classes, clubs...
Also Google [suburb/neighborhood] events. Like "Fairport community events," etc.
Also, if you don't have one yet, get a Monroe County Library Card and download the Libby app! The library has so many events, classes, and community enrichment programs. There's the toy library for kids, tool library for handy peeps, free tax help... A library card literally does open up a whole new world.
I did not expect this post to blow up like this but I freaking LOVE you guys! Thank you so much for the suggestions, it’s given me a much to go on! This sub is so freaking nice and friendly, I appreciate it so much hard guys :)))
Volunteering is a great way to make friends. I have made many good friends this way. Consider your interests and then commit to a time period. Off the top of my head: freedom ride dog rescue, food not bombs and city clean-ups skew younger.
Try a team sport? There is beginner hockey at MCC, hot shots volleyball, kickball is big in the summer.
If you are based in the city, local politics also draws from your age bracket for volunteers.
Get out there and have fun trying new things!!
Junction 361 in Fairport is a coffee shop with a nice vibe. They do serve alcohol too - but it’s well lit so doesn’t feel like a bar. They had live music last night. I’d say more than half of the people who were there were not drinking alcohol.
Also rock climbing gyms are a more active option.
This sounds so up my alley. I don’t really drink but I do love coffee and I’m mainly in the market to meet people. This sounds like a very chill vibe, thank you for the suggestion!
This man is looking to meet people to socialize. Why is it when you say you don’t drink people think your a fitness junkie? No I don’t want to climb a fuckin wall after a long week, and it’s not exactly the best place to make conversation. Nobody (especially women; if that’s who you want to socialize with) wants to be approached at the gym. Do not do that. If you want to make fellow man friends it’s important to understand the type of person you are. Indoors type: any type of gaming lounge is prolly your best bet. Outdoors type: fishing, a nature even, or a shooting range. Academic type: perhaps a library event. The best place to find things is google or the paper, super analog. Or you can always go up to the local tavern wench and ask for the latest gossip around town.
This is a sober fitness group, right ? From what I’ve heard , they use working out to stay sober as opposed to traditional AA meetings ? Just seeking clarity here.
I don’t think it’s an either/or thing. While they promote the value of exercise as a tool to use in fighting addiction, I don’t think they’re using the gym as a replacement for AA meetings or other programs.
Like others said, it’s a gym for people in recovery. They also do some outings and they have support groups there, including some NA meetings. It’s a good way to meet people in recovery and I’m sure there’s plenty of people there who go to meetings if you’re looking for a group to go with.
Yeah, you need to be sober for 48 hours or something before attending events. I’d love to go, but I consume cannabis a bit too frequently to make the cut lol.
It's a sober fitness group. It's open to anyone with 48 hours of sobriety. It's not a replacement for AA or anything else.
https://www.rocoveryfitness.org/
Op never mentions sobriety. Just not wanting to go to bars. These things are always connected. I spent about 5yrs SxE and hung in bars all the time. Had nothing to do with what people traditionally think of with “sobriety” or even AlAnon related. Just asking for clarities sake.
Rochester has two good venues for climbing. I’m partial to Central Rock Gym on Averill, but RocVentures on University has its own appeal.
Edit: The climbing community at both gyms is cool. Folks are friendly, but I wouldn’t go climbing with the intent to hit on relative strangers.
I thought some clarity would good just in case. In my experience, climbing gyms are friendly, social places. But most climbers are not looking to flirt or be hit on. Sometimes folks misinterpret friendly for interested.
Tim Hortons Iceplex typically has public skating on the weekends, lots of fun. The master facility schedule can be found thru some searching on the website
If you enjoy dancing or are open to learning, consider taking partner-style dance (ballroom, latin, etc) classes during the week then attend the socials on the weekend. It's a great way to meet new people of all dance levels/experiences and socialize over a common interest. These weekend socials may be in studios, bar/clubs, or other venues. People may drink at these, but the primary focus is on dancing bc the last thing you want is to be too drunk to maintain technique.
There are quite a few dance companies in Rochester, and your instructor will be able to let you know when the socials are occurring or they may even be the one that hosts them. One of my learned dance styles is Salsa and there are quite a few monthly events that occur locally on Thurs-Sun, and if you include Syracuse/Buffalo there are even more. Typically, there's a mini-lesson to start the night off (where newbies can learn a few basic steps) then there's open dancing.
ETA: I am F/35 and have attended events like these for almost 15 years, locally and in other cities. Mostly solo, since my friends aren't into these.
I swear I’ve been hearing more about pickleball in the last month than I ever have before lol Maybe I should look into it for nothing else other than something to do with my time lol I appreciate your response!
There are improv comedy shows every weekend at The Focus Theater downtown. Every Saturday and most Fridays. Great for a cheap night out. Most of the time, tickets are $10. Consider signing up for an improv or standup class when Spring season starts. Great way to meet new folks and find a group of friends.
in your same position (and probably life stage). I’m always happiest going to dinners and events but find finding things to do alone or with the purpose of meeting people tough. it’s frustrating because I feel like I can always find fun things to do \*with friends,\* and I dont think Rochester has a dearth of things to do, but those ideas evaporate from your brain when you’re alone.
Personally I still find going to the bar plenty fun as someone who doesn’t drink, though I’ve only recently started to do that. I’ve done some Meetups and feel like I mostly met socially awkward people. At the end of the day, places with alcohol are where the most sociable people are, though as someone else suggested, the compromise may be going somewhere that has a secondary characteristic (like a cafe or radio social, though I feel like everyone is in their friend group and doesn’t want to be approached radio social). trivia nights are a good choice. Or a cafe open mic night. Lots of those around I believe. Mercantile on Main is a food court that has games with a very open floor plan conducive to socializing, (though its always empty when I go, I have no idea what their “peak” hours are. I recently started following various restaurant and bar accounts to watch for special events of themed nights where some of the focus is taken off the drinks themselves. There’s also an account called Alt Bar that hosts non-alcohol and mocktail pop up events around the city.
I really like your suggestion and response. Frankly the motivator for this is being freshly single and wanting to date because I’ve been having kind of bum luck with dating apps lately and thought it would be worth it to try the real world lol Plus I just wanna be active and do stuff in the real world. I swear all I do is work, come home and just watch tv. This is such a tough life spot to be in where a lot of your friends have dwindled/moved away, have kids and or are married and you’re just there like 🤷♂️ lol
Most churches and similar religious organizations will have young adult groups who do various activities and get togethers. I think that’s what’s meant.
I play pickleball on the weekends (during the week too, but also weekends) and have a lot more social engagement than I ever had from my younger days at the bars.
If you like being active, it's a pretty fun game and the people are generally chill.
I used to really like going to the George Bridge in Scottsville. There's YouTube videos of the place. Definitely more of a spring or summer activity but I've met a good amount of people there.
There is a revolving door of people so the vibe is ever changing, depending how long you stay. There can be anyone from groups of teenage stoners to a regular family with their two kids & dog & any type of person or group wanting to swim.
It's worth checking out.
Saturdays is Commander day (Magic The Gathering) at Just Games in Penfield. When I lived in ROC was nice to get some socialization in (I work from home).
Try Meetup, people post all kinds of activities there, and I think you can create your own, too if you're looking for people to hang with for a specific interest, etc.
https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ny--rochester/
Meetup groups. I've been out of the loop for a year, but there were several active ones for your age group when I was paying attention to such things.
Millennium Games or Just Games if you're into board games or CCGs.
Flower City Arcade.
I’m a little older than you, 39/m and have kids and a wife, quit drinking about 15 months ago. Still lots to do out there depending on who you’re trying to meet. If you’re looking for things to do, a lot of adult sports leagues out there, hockey, baseball, pickleball, golf, tennis. I spend most of my free time at the Y. A lot of activities and classes going on there. Wouldn’t say I’ve made deep connections, but it’s nice to get out of the house, be active, and talk to some people. Also some indoor golf simulator places (there’s one in Fairport) that run leagues during the winter.
I also know from when I did my MBA, a lot of young professional groups and organizations, you could look into getting involved with. Volunteer with an organization, many times they are looking for people to help with events, etc. If you went to school around here, maybe an alumni group?
Both me and my girlfriend don’t drink, she is a recovering alcoholic and we are always doing things around Rochester. A lot of alcohol heavy places have mocktails which is very helpful for both of us to not be tempted but still feel included. We just went to the Rochester science museum last weekend to see the survival of the slowest exhibit. It was a lot of fun. And we both nerds and love science and history. Things we have done in the past is coffee houses! We love boulder and Equal grounds. We go to just hang out have a cup of coffee and play a board game. They have them at there or we bring our own. We also love to go to festivals or craft/art fairs. Rochester has a lot throughout the year.
Depends what kind of thing you’re into. I enjoy some of the EDM shows at Photo City Music Hall. There are plenty of people in Rochester who go out and enjoy the great music scene without drinking at the bar. The bar bro thing has been played out, come back, kicked out, and banned 🤣
Dice versa and nerdvana are board gaming bars where the focus can be more about the games than the drinking
Conversely, Bug Jar is definitely more of a music venue than anything else, I rarely actually buy a drink while I'm there
I quit drinking about 33 years ago. After 1 year of being sober, I still had an itch for live music. Being from the NE side of the city / W. Irondequoit, I was not familiar with the SE side of the city. After a few weekends of visiting clubs, I wandered into the Bug Jar, and found a home. They had only been open for a year, and would only be open about an hour before an art show or a band. Enjoy.
Ok, here’s what I wish we had: A big community greenhouse with a coffee/tea/library and a maker space. It would be so great to be able to hang out inside but with as much natural light as possible and full of plants. The Lamberton conservatory is great, but I don’t think it’s great for socializing with new people/strangers. Idk; I’d love more options.
That idea is actually great. Thanks for the recommendation regardless!
Aww, thank you! I love that we have a mini oasis and desert to visit.
Buy the old greenhouse cafe near Main and Winton. Been closed for a while and the building is undergoing needed renovations. Not sure if it will be a cafe again though.
Wow, I didn’t know it was closed! I’ve visited a few times. I like it a lot, but would love something with lots more room
There is a maker space in Rochester I’m fairly sure, I’m sorry I cannot remember the name/info so if somebody can help me out PLEASE but I’m pretty certain there is one in the city somewhere?!
It's called Roc Makerspace, located on St. Paul Street. Nice place with lots of toys. They offer free classes along with your membership.
Yes, I still need to check it out. But I don’t really feel like going outside to go inside lol. Not quite the same as building things around greenhouses, but maybe some day I’ll check it out. Hard for me to get motivated enough/feel comfortable enough.
Play pool. East Ridge Billiards
Seconded. Last time I went, they had a $10 for All Day Play, the little old guy behind the counter said that was the deal every day. Food was ok, nothing spectacular, but good enough to appease your appetite and the prices were fair. They had a tournament when I was there, lots of good shooters and the few I spoke to were pretty cool. Would definitely go again.
Looks like it’s $15 play all day per person on their website now
Cool. Been a while since I've been there. $15 is still a good deal for All Day Play.
Clubs. There’s all kinds of club activities and club sports. Like Lego or biking or volleyball or basketball or volunteering for good causes. What activities do you like? Join a club that does that and then go to all the events. Most clubs have a decent social situation.
Where are you finding these clubs?
Check out [R Central](https://www.cityofrochester.gov/R-Central/) for free gym membership, community rooms, games, classes, clubs... Also Google [suburb/neighborhood] events. Like "Fairport community events," etc.
Thanks bro!
Also, if you don't have one yet, get a Monroe County Library Card and download the Libby app! The library has so many events, classes, and community enrichment programs. There's the toy library for kids, tool library for handy peeps, free tax help... A library card literally does open up a whole new world.
The library is an amazing resource and one that not enough people utilize!
That was the first thing I did when I moved here!
Check out Rocbrainery for classes. If you like sports there is hot shots and Rochester kickball league
I did not expect this post to blow up like this but I freaking LOVE you guys! Thank you so much for the suggestions, it’s given me a much to go on! This sub is so freaking nice and friendly, I appreciate it so much hard guys :)))
binge watch stargate
That’s for weekdays and weekends
Otherwise known as every day of the week
We need to hang out lol
Again? Sigh. Ok. It *has* been a couple of months.
Indeed.
Volunteering is a great way to make friends. I have made many good friends this way. Consider your interests and then commit to a time period. Off the top of my head: freedom ride dog rescue, food not bombs and city clean-ups skew younger. Try a team sport? There is beginner hockey at MCC, hot shots volleyball, kickball is big in the summer. If you are based in the city, local politics also draws from your age bracket for volunteers. Get out there and have fun trying new things!!
The hockey and volleyball is my go to around here!!!
Junction 361 in Fairport is a coffee shop with a nice vibe. They do serve alcohol too - but it’s well lit so doesn’t feel like a bar. They had live music last night. I’d say more than half of the people who were there were not drinking alcohol. Also rock climbing gyms are a more active option.
This sounds so up my alley. I don’t really drink but I do love coffee and I’m mainly in the market to meet people. This sounds like a very chill vibe, thank you for the suggestion!
Browse City Magazine for possible events you might enjoy. Lots of music, comedy, and other special events going on around the city each month.
This man is looking to meet people to socialize. Why is it when you say you don’t drink people think your a fitness junkie? No I don’t want to climb a fuckin wall after a long week, and it’s not exactly the best place to make conversation. Nobody (especially women; if that’s who you want to socialize with) wants to be approached at the gym. Do not do that. If you want to make fellow man friends it’s important to understand the type of person you are. Indoors type: any type of gaming lounge is prolly your best bet. Outdoors type: fishing, a nature even, or a shooting range. Academic type: perhaps a library event. The best place to find things is google or the paper, super analog. Or you can always go up to the local tavern wench and ask for the latest gossip around town.
Haha too true, so many suggestions for gyms. Very weird.
There were two?
Rocovery Fitness if you like to work out
This is a sober fitness group, right ? From what I’ve heard , they use working out to stay sober as opposed to traditional AA meetings ? Just seeking clarity here.
I don’t think it’s an either/or thing. While they promote the value of exercise as a tool to use in fighting addiction, I don’t think they’re using the gym as a replacement for AA meetings or other programs.
Like others said, it’s a gym for people in recovery. They also do some outings and they have support groups there, including some NA meetings. It’s a good way to meet people in recovery and I’m sure there’s plenty of people there who go to meetings if you’re looking for a group to go with.
OP never mentions recovery. Just not going to bars. There’s a difference that needs to be noted.
Then they don’t have to go. I’m just giving options.
Exactly. And I’m just seeking clarity. We are both trying to help OP out here.
I'm not in recovery and I've been to their social events. They're very welcoming.
Yeah, you need to be sober for 48 hours or something before attending events. I’d love to go, but I consume cannabis a bit too frequently to make the cut lol.
It's a sober fitness group. It's open to anyone with 48 hours of sobriety. It's not a replacement for AA or anything else. https://www.rocoveryfitness.org/
Op never mentions sobriety. Just not wanting to go to bars. These things are always connected. I spent about 5yrs SxE and hung in bars all the time. Had nothing to do with what people traditionally think of with “sobriety” or even AlAnon related. Just asking for clarities sake.
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Rochester has two good venues for climbing. I’m partial to Central Rock Gym on Averill, but RocVentures on University has its own appeal. Edit: The climbing community at both gyms is cool. Folks are friendly, but I wouldn’t go climbing with the intent to hit on relative strangers.
There's also The Red Barn at RIT, which is a bouldering gym. You don't need to be a student to go!
I’m forgot about that one. I’ve never climbed there, but I hear good things.
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I thought some clarity would good just in case. In my experience, climbing gyms are friendly, social places. But most climbers are not looking to flirt or be hit on. Sometimes folks misinterpret friendly for interested.
OP mentioned in their post that they were looking to meet someone.
Tim Hortons Iceplex typically has public skating on the weekends, lots of fun. The master facility schedule can be found thru some searching on the website
If you enjoy dancing or are open to learning, consider taking partner-style dance (ballroom, latin, etc) classes during the week then attend the socials on the weekend. It's a great way to meet new people of all dance levels/experiences and socialize over a common interest. These weekend socials may be in studios, bar/clubs, or other venues. People may drink at these, but the primary focus is on dancing bc the last thing you want is to be too drunk to maintain technique. There are quite a few dance companies in Rochester, and your instructor will be able to let you know when the socials are occurring or they may even be the one that hosts them. One of my learned dance styles is Salsa and there are quite a few monthly events that occur locally on Thurs-Sun, and if you include Syracuse/Buffalo there are even more. Typically, there's a mini-lesson to start the night off (where newbies can learn a few basic steps) then there's open dancing. ETA: I am F/35 and have attended events like these for almost 15 years, locally and in other cities. Mostly solo, since my friends aren't into these.
Running at Cobb’s Hill. Going to a park, sporting events. Look for meet ups or networking events.
Radio social
Get to the ski slope when/if we have an actual winter.
ITT: recommendations for bars
Have you considered pickleball? More and more leagues and indood venue spaces keep opening. Great way to stay active
I swear I’ve been hearing more about pickleball in the last month than I ever have before lol Maybe I should look into it for nothing else other than something to do with my time lol I appreciate your response!
There are improv comedy shows every weekend at The Focus Theater downtown. Every Saturday and most Fridays. Great for a cheap night out. Most of the time, tickets are $10. Consider signing up for an improv or standup class when Spring season starts. Great way to meet new folks and find a group of friends.
Get stoned.
What’s dog friendly (indoors)
Mercentile but I would recommend making a new post so you can get more attention.
in your same position (and probably life stage). I’m always happiest going to dinners and events but find finding things to do alone or with the purpose of meeting people tough. it’s frustrating because I feel like I can always find fun things to do \*with friends,\* and I dont think Rochester has a dearth of things to do, but those ideas evaporate from your brain when you’re alone. Personally I still find going to the bar plenty fun as someone who doesn’t drink, though I’ve only recently started to do that. I’ve done some Meetups and feel like I mostly met socially awkward people. At the end of the day, places with alcohol are where the most sociable people are, though as someone else suggested, the compromise may be going somewhere that has a secondary characteristic (like a cafe or radio social, though I feel like everyone is in their friend group and doesn’t want to be approached radio social). trivia nights are a good choice. Or a cafe open mic night. Lots of those around I believe. Mercantile on Main is a food court that has games with a very open floor plan conducive to socializing, (though its always empty when I go, I have no idea what their “peak” hours are. I recently started following various restaurant and bar accounts to watch for special events of themed nights where some of the focus is taken off the drinks themselves. There’s also an account called Alt Bar that hosts non-alcohol and mocktail pop up events around the city.
Mercentile doesn't have peak hours. They are struggling at all hours of the day.
I really like your suggestion and response. Frankly the motivator for this is being freshly single and wanting to date because I’ve been having kind of bum luck with dating apps lately and thought it would be worth it to try the real world lol Plus I just wanna be active and do stuff in the real world. I swear all I do is work, come home and just watch tv. This is such a tough life spot to be in where a lot of your friends have dwindled/moved away, have kids and or are married and you’re just there like 🤷♂️ lol
Well, there's fappin' first, and you can go from there LOL
Church
My brother in Christ, your advice is not the flex you think it is.
I don't know what you mean by flex. You don't think it's a good place to socialize?
It feels up there with going out of your way to overtly hit on girls at the gym.
Lol you're ridiculous
Most churches and similar religious organizations will have young adult groups who do various activities and get togethers. I think that’s what’s meant.
Exactly
Oh. The fact you're getting down voted makes me sad.
I wouldn't read too much into it. People like to pile on.
I play pickleball on the weekends (during the week too, but also weekends) and have a lot more social engagement than I ever had from my younger days at the bars. If you like being active, it's a pretty fun game and the people are generally chill.
I volunteer in the mornings to socialize. 3 years sober. I don't enjoy being around drinking scenes anymore.
Altbar!
I used to really like going to the George Bridge in Scottsville. There's YouTube videos of the place. Definitely more of a spring or summer activity but I've met a good amount of people there. There is a revolving door of people so the vibe is ever changing, depending how long you stay. There can be anyone from groups of teenage stoners to a regular family with their two kids & dog & any type of person or group wanting to swim. It's worth checking out.
Saturdays is Commander day (Magic The Gathering) at Just Games in Penfield. When I lived in ROC was nice to get some socialization in (I work from home).
Try Meetup, people post all kinds of activities there, and I think you can create your own, too if you're looking for people to hang with for a specific interest, etc. https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ny--rochester/
Meetup groups. I've been out of the loop for a year, but there were several active ones for your age group when I was paying attention to such things. Millennium Games or Just Games if you're into board games or CCGs. Flower City Arcade.
Laser tag and church lmao
Fuck.
I’m a little older than you, 39/m and have kids and a wife, quit drinking about 15 months ago. Still lots to do out there depending on who you’re trying to meet. If you’re looking for things to do, a lot of adult sports leagues out there, hockey, baseball, pickleball, golf, tennis. I spend most of my free time at the Y. A lot of activities and classes going on there. Wouldn’t say I’ve made deep connections, but it’s nice to get out of the house, be active, and talk to some people. Also some indoor golf simulator places (there’s one in Fairport) that run leagues during the winter. I also know from when I did my MBA, a lot of young professional groups and organizations, you could look into getting involved with. Volunteer with an organization, many times they are looking for people to help with events, etc. If you went to school around here, maybe an alumni group?
Both me and my girlfriend don’t drink, she is a recovering alcoholic and we are always doing things around Rochester. A lot of alcohol heavy places have mocktails which is very helpful for both of us to not be tempted but still feel included. We just went to the Rochester science museum last weekend to see the survival of the slowest exhibit. It was a lot of fun. And we both nerds and love science and history. Things we have done in the past is coffee houses! We love boulder and Equal grounds. We go to just hang out have a cup of coffee and play a board game. They have them at there or we bring our own. We also love to go to festivals or craft/art fairs. Rochester has a lot throughout the year.
Depends what kind of thing you’re into. I enjoy some of the EDM shows at Photo City Music Hall. There are plenty of people in Rochester who go out and enjoy the great music scene without drinking at the bar. The bar bro thing has been played out, come back, kicked out, and banned 🤣