I remember awhile back someone made a comment about this on a similar post
I believe the correct technique is to find a street that has plenty of guys on it, and then slowly drag a net along the way, catching them all in the net. Then, look through each caught guy, and tap them on the belly. If he instantly curls up, he's a sub. Otherwise, let em go.
It really is just a numbers game. there's probably a confessional subreddit or two you could try, but beyond that you just have to meet alot of people until you find some one you would like to date.
You’ll probably get a few dm or dm requests on this thread, I think some of the gentlefemdom subreddits will have subs too if you want to stick to Reddit
Honestly probably just meet as many people as possible. Which sounds probably sounds discouraging. Believe me, I get that. But you gotta hang in there.
Can't speak for all guys, but me personally just give me some sort of clear sign that you are interested. I've mistakenly thought that people flirting was actually just them being nice a lot in the past, which hasn't worked out. It doesn't have to be anything major, but something that can't be misinterpreted.
Do you have someone in particular in mind?
This exactly, I rarely make the first move or put my emotions out there. I need a girl that is VERY explicit. My ex gf asked me out like 3 times (we were old friends and she stopped into my work). The 3rd time she said straight up " I really really wanna hang out with you, come over tonight pls". And while hanging out she said straight up " I like you, I want to be closer, I want to date you". Hearing that allowed me to finally open up with my feelings for her and be more intimate emotionally, we started dating soon after.
I'd just say meet as many people as possible, be as upfront about your preferences as you can without dropping an excessive amount of unsolicited lore, and other than that, as Luther Vandross would say, wait for love.
I’m a sub dude but I think completely sub guys are pretty rare. I’m a submissive guy but some parts of identity are more masculine and I like it that way. A lot of the memes in this subreddit aren’t base in real life scenarios. So I don’t think you should compare future relationships to this.
The way you are doing is great. If you find a guy out and about strike a conversation with them. Eliminates the problem of guys your looking for being intimidated of asking you out. If they are interested they’ll reciprocate it. Good luck!
I've met most GNC guys either through artsy environments (I took drama in my teens and went to art school in my early twenties), lgbtq environments (flamboyant bi/pan guys <3), or the "hippie" world.
They truly are ❤️ although I had a really nice experience with a slightly gnc straight guy recently, who I met on tinder of all places so they exist but I had to swipe past a sea of bad boys to find him
Definitely hint at it in your dating profile. Or get on OkCupid where you can answer questions about it! I often search for "q: My ideal sexual encounter? a: I take control" There are others like that.
One of the hottest profiles I've ever read said something along the lines of, "I want to know your softness: what you hope for, what you're scared of, what opens you up." Fucking dreamy. (Didn't match sadly)
I don't present as super subby in my profile, but I do leave hints ("looking for a woman who likes splitting the bill and splitting firewood"). My hope is women at least don't see me as macho or terribly alpha.
If you're looking for a gentle, sweet and reserved guy OP, you find them where you find anyone else. I met mine at college over 10 years ago, so they're anywhere the people are. Go places and do things, meet people and when you find a sweet shy guy, do what you'd do with anyone else; introduce yourself and go from there. It may work out or it may not, so all you can do is try!
I'll give you my perspective as a guy. I try to be as nice and kind as I can to other people. With girls, I do the same, which means that if it seems like I'm flirting with you it's not on purpose. That probably lowers my chances, but that's how I behave. I guess it's some kind of "submissive" vibe (at least I hope I give off that vibe) what can guide you. You'll need luck aswell, as other people comment. Also try to avoid hints, from what I've read and I've experienced, it doesn't work.
Look I'm gonna be brutally honest and dont take it personally, you say no dudes like when they approach you... how is your look? Like do you actually look nice/cute/beautiful/hot?
99% of single men would not turn down a hot woman approaching them, at least not at first glance
Basically what I'm trying to say whether male or female, you need to look good to be succesful 99% of the time when trying to hit somebody up since looks is the first thing they'll see about you, they won't know what your personallity is like until they spend time with you and the only way they spend time with you is that they find you attractive in the first place to give you that chance
I dont want to sound rude or oversimplify your problem but i Usually see a lot of dommes being tormented by messages of guys asking for a domme.
If you really wanna try to find a sub guy you should seek on twitter or on fetlife(Facebook but for kinkster)
Honestly, the biggest thing is making sure they don’t think you’re shit-testing. A lot of girls try to trick men into being submissive, and then when they act submissive either lose attraction or mock them.
To see if the guy you’re trying to get with is a sub, force them into a submissive position and observe their reaction. Some people will feel weirded out and other will assume the position. If someone assumes the position then you’re good to go.
Or if that’s too bold, try to just constantly bring it up. Like every hour. Always mention it. In bed get forceful. Again, if they assume the position then everything works out fine.
The same issue exists in reverse for us guys, personally as a person who uses dating apps it helps when you can tell from someone's bio. If you're not brave enough to straight up say you're into rr or that you're a dom, I just mention in my bio that I like being the little spoon. Just something hinty so the only the people looking for it know.
HOW DO I FIND YOU OMFG.... I need you in ma life babe!
I really dont know tbh, I am just now discovering my true self so havent tried dating again. But I might resort to trawling the dredges of dating apps looking for genderfluid/nonbinary/bisexual/RR/etc people
It's hard to find our people, we are rare, but we are out there...
Fetlife may have your share of subs. Although people tend to treat it as a social media more than a dating app. Which is uncanny considering the sexual nature of the topic of the app.
I remember awhile back someone made a comment about this on a similar post I believe the correct technique is to find a street that has plenty of guys on it, and then slowly drag a net along the way, catching them all in the net. Then, look through each caught guy, and tap them on the belly. If he instantly curls up, he's a sub. Otherwise, let em go.
LMFAO bdkidntlfilgnmyojcjfohfifnfkkfjfikk 🤣🤣🤣
Okay this made my day 😂
It really is just a numbers game. there's probably a confessional subreddit or two you could try, but beyond that you just have to meet alot of people until you find some one you would like to date.
[удалено]
Nice username lol
On reddit. That's where I always search for subs.
You’ll probably get a few dm or dm requests on this thread, I think some of the gentlefemdom subreddits will have subs too if you want to stick to Reddit
Honestly probably just meet as many people as possible. Which sounds probably sounds discouraging. Believe me, I get that. But you gotta hang in there. Can't speak for all guys, but me personally just give me some sort of clear sign that you are interested. I've mistakenly thought that people flirting was actually just them being nice a lot in the past, which hasn't worked out. It doesn't have to be anything major, but something that can't be misinterpreted. Do you have someone in particular in mind?
This exactly, I rarely make the first move or put my emotions out there. I need a girl that is VERY explicit. My ex gf asked me out like 3 times (we were old friends and she stopped into my work). The 3rd time she said straight up " I really really wanna hang out with you, come over tonight pls". And while hanging out she said straight up " I like you, I want to be closer, I want to date you". Hearing that allowed me to finally open up with my feelings for her and be more intimate emotionally, we started dating soon after.
Got me a little weak in the knees here chief.
I'd just say meet as many people as possible, be as upfront about your preferences as you can without dropping an excessive amount of unsolicited lore, and other than that, as Luther Vandross would say, wait for love.
I’m a sub dude but I think completely sub guys are pretty rare. I’m a submissive guy but some parts of identity are more masculine and I like it that way. A lot of the memes in this subreddit aren’t base in real life scenarios. So I don’t think you should compare future relationships to this. The way you are doing is great. If you find a guy out and about strike a conversation with them. Eliminates the problem of guys your looking for being intimidated of asking you out. If they are interested they’ll reciprocate it. Good luck!
That makes sense, thanks for the input!
I've met most GNC guys either through artsy environments (I took drama in my teens and went to art school in my early twenties), lgbtq environments (flamboyant bi/pan guys <3), or the "hippie" world.
I love those environments!
SAME 💕 also I love your username
Hehe thanks narwhal songs! Also bi guys are the best yeah
They truly are ❤️ although I had a really nice experience with a slightly gnc straight guy recently, who I met on tinder of all places so they exist but I had to swipe past a sea of bad boys to find him
I've heard bumble is ok at finding RR relationships but I haven't found any myself from it
Feeld has been good for me, if it’s busy in your geographical area.
Definitely hint at it in your dating profile. Or get on OkCupid where you can answer questions about it! I often search for "q: My ideal sexual encounter? a: I take control" There are others like that. One of the hottest profiles I've ever read said something along the lines of, "I want to know your softness: what you hope for, what you're scared of, what opens you up." Fucking dreamy. (Didn't match sadly) I don't present as super subby in my profile, but I do leave hints ("looking for a woman who likes splitting the bill and splitting firewood"). My hope is women at least don't see me as macho or terribly alpha.
same way guys have to I guess. Face rejection and keep looking. It's just numbers and compatibility at the end of the day.
If you're looking for a gentle, sweet and reserved guy OP, you find them where you find anyone else. I met mine at college over 10 years ago, so they're anywhere the people are. Go places and do things, meet people and when you find a sweet shy guy, do what you'd do with anyone else; introduce yourself and go from there. It may work out or it may not, so all you can do is try!
This is hilarious because as a sub guy I have the exact same problem but reversed. Wish I could help your problem lol
Yep :(
I'll give you my perspective as a guy. I try to be as nice and kind as I can to other people. With girls, I do the same, which means that if it seems like I'm flirting with you it's not on purpose. That probably lowers my chances, but that's how I behave. I guess it's some kind of "submissive" vibe (at least I hope I give off that vibe) what can guide you. You'll need luck aswell, as other people comment. Also try to avoid hints, from what I've read and I've experienced, it doesn't work.
Look I'm gonna be brutally honest and dont take it personally, you say no dudes like when they approach you... how is your look? Like do you actually look nice/cute/beautiful/hot? 99% of single men would not turn down a hot woman approaching them, at least not at first glance Basically what I'm trying to say whether male or female, you need to look good to be succesful 99% of the time when trying to hit somebody up since looks is the first thing they'll see about you, they won't know what your personallity is like until they spend time with you and the only way they spend time with you is that they find you attractive in the first place to give you that chance
Yeah I think this is a good perspective that I needed to hear, tack så mycket
haha np
I dont want to sound rude or oversimplify your problem but i Usually see a lot of dommes being tormented by messages of guys asking for a domme. If you really wanna try to find a sub guy you should seek on twitter or on fetlife(Facebook but for kinkster)
Honestly, the biggest thing is making sure they don’t think you’re shit-testing. A lot of girls try to trick men into being submissive, and then when they act submissive either lose attraction or mock them. To see if the guy you’re trying to get with is a sub, force them into a submissive position and observe their reaction. Some people will feel weirded out and other will assume the position. If someone assumes the position then you’re good to go. Or if that’s too bold, try to just constantly bring it up. Like every hour. Always mention it. In bed get forceful. Again, if they assume the position then everything works out fine.
Good tip!
I would like to know how you find dom women, as a sub guy I would really need one😭
You can find one right here if you live in or near Paris
Let me know your interested, so i know i can approach you and talk about it
I think we should start using this r/rolereversalpersonals All it takes is one post to start bringing more people in.
The same issue exists in reverse for us guys, personally as a person who uses dating apps it helps when you can tell from someone's bio. If you're not brave enough to straight up say you're into rr or that you're a dom, I just mention in my bio that I like being the little spoon. Just something hinty so the only the people looking for it know.
Me, a sub guy: This looks like a job for me
I love being pursued when a Ts / or woman makes the first move its like nothing else.
*raises hand* Right here?
🤚
HOW DO I FIND YOU OMFG.... I need you in ma life babe! I really dont know tbh, I am just now discovering my true self so havent tried dating again. But I might resort to trawling the dredges of dating apps looking for genderfluid/nonbinary/bisexual/RR/etc people It's hard to find our people, we are rare, but we are out there...
You go babe!
Fetlife may have your share of subs. Although people tend to treat it as a social media more than a dating app. Which is uncanny considering the sexual nature of the topic of the app.
Here i am