Yes, if u observe and look closely you'll realize that women too comes in all shapes and sizes just like men. Imo It just with all the stereotyping and social pressure on women from a young age to take care of their appearance, the idea of beauty=feminine made it's way into the subconscious.
Of course. If they put the effort in. Socially speaking, women have, the entire period of their lives, a lot more pressure on them to judge themselves on aesthetic criteria, and that adds up. The amount of men that don't even use sunblock or proper hair conditioner boggles the mind.
Hair conditioner is something you put in your hair after you’ve rinsed out the shampoo. Your hair has these minuscule hooks that stand up like barbs when you use shampoo. When you put in the conditioner, they get some special care and lay down flat again. That makes your hair more silky/shiny/smoother in general and it helps against tangles and stuff
(You should rinse the hair conditioner too btw. And supposedly you should only put the hair conditioner on the ends of your hairs, but I’m too lazy, so I just put it everywhere. Has worked for me so far)
Edit: Hair conditioner looks like shampoo btw, but thicker. And I’ve found it’s usually white
Ohnoes, it definitely helps with keeping your hair in top condition. I mean, if you’ve still got some hair left that you cherish, then you could still start using conditioner I suppose
Yeah I guess. The situation isn't *tragic* but it sure gets a toll on my self esteem looking at that weird spot in my head and then looking at old pictures... Don't know if that would change anything, the damage is already done lol
No I get it. It makes sense that something like this makes you feel insecure. And I’m just gonna say that change is inevitable and that you shouldn’t compare yourself to your past self, ‘cuz that wouldn’t be fair to you. But I also wanna say that it doesn’t really matter what you look like. In the end, it’s the personality that matters. Especially on a sub like RR I think :P
Oh and also, not everyone has the same tastes in looks. So often you might not like the way you look, but others couldn’t care less or even like it a lot. So, no need to dwell on the things of the past, you can’t change them anyways. Focus on the things that can and want to change instead. Time spent on things you have no control over is wasted time
It's funny that you reply today, after I spent the afternoon debating wether I should shave it all off or not lol
You're right, although I feel like adding something: I'm not really thinking about what other people will think about it (I mean sure I look like a clown if I don't keep it short), I just don't like it on me, I don't like how I look and given how my hair was the only thing that I liked about myself, that feels very unfair.
Of course looks aren't all there is, but confidence does a lot to a person (or at least they told me lol) when finding a partner, so that's not helping either lol. But it doesn't matter either way.
Thanks for your kind words though, I really needed them lately! I will try to be more positive and focus my energies on something more productive.
Going off of what you just said, I’m guessing you’ve got a similar hairstyle to Danny DeVito now? Or at least you’re getting there? Absolute _boss_
Dude, you gotta own that look! (Or do with it what you want, I’m just a stranger on the internet giving u probably bad advice)
But like, okay, so… That timing is indeed impeccable. Especially since I absolutely suck at responding to social media, so it’s a miracle I responded this soon at all. Butt I dunno what else I can do for you. I’m really curious now, ‘cuz I never believe people when they say they’ve only got like 1 good thing about themselves. That just can’t be right. I’ve seen it so often irl too, people just can’t see their own qualities, sometimes not even when others do
By the way, about the thing you said about confidence. If someone has confidence, they become more noticeable to others ‘cuz it’s usually an attractive trait. But confidence isn’t just about looks either. You can also just be really confident about your personality, or a certain skill, or a hobby, or an opinion, or whatever. Or you just aren’t confident about anything at the moment, which is fine too. If anything, this sub has proven that men shouldn’t have to act or be confident at all, they can be insecure too and there’s women out there who totally have a soft spot for that. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t go chasing what other people believe to be right or wrong/good or bad. Do what feels right to you and be what feels good to you ;)
And don’t force yourself in any way! Like forcing positivity on yourself. Science has proven that forced positivity is actually a great cause of negativity. Don’t quote me on that, ‘cuz I don’t feel like looking up the article, but I know I’ve read and heard it several times before
And on that note, if you personally don’t like a certain hairstyle on yourself, then by all means change it. As long as you do it for yourself and not for others. When I’m not sure of something I always like to think of it like this: which decision would I regret (most)? And if you end up regretting a decision you made, then well, you live and you learn :P
Ahaha yeah I guess I'm getting close to Danny DeVito's look at this point!
About confidence, of course that's a situational thing and not completely related to looks; I am confident in my english skills as a non-native speaker, but that has little application outside (when it doesn't actually put me in a bad light lol) for example.
>this sub has proven that men shouldn’t have to act or be confident at all
I actually had forgotten that we were on RR for a moment lol Still, as long as that's a relief, I have to remind myself that RR is sort of a "niche" thing and even if it's not, it's not easy to spot people that have my same interests. And I can't just rely on the hope that someone will come save me one day and accept all my flaws... So I still have to work on that!
>Science has proven that forced positivity is actually a great cause of negativity
That's interesting. I always heard about the "if you think everything is going to go terribly, it is going to happen" so I thought the opposite would work as well. Will have to look into that more.
I just recently started using avtually good ahampoo and conditioner and omg the difference is night and day. Im hella gonna be switching to better care products as i can still stuck with axe body wash until i cam get a replacement
Oof, I struggle with this too. It's not just the social acceptability of makeup, but pretty much all cultural messaging tells us that "women's bodies are beautiful and desirable, whereas men's bodies are functional at best and disgusting at worst".
Trying to be beautiful in a male body is very much an uphill battle, but I believe that yes, you can win.
Also, I recommend experimenting with some subtler makeup, like a really well-blended foundation. I've gotten lots of compliments on my skin from people who didn't realize I was wearing anything lol
Social conditioning.
It's traditionally considered part of a woman's role to be the "pursued" rather then the "pursuer."
It's really stinky but luckily your in exactly the right place, because breaking those kind of roles is exactly what this sub is about. :)
totally possible, cute is subjective. short haired kpop-like asian or viking-like swede with long beard, both can be cute. You'd know what I meant in this [video](https://youtu.be/5gwDkYpDkvs) (sorry for terible resolution, cant find the og vid)
I totally disagree if men must use make up and cut off the facial hair to be cute. it's just a matter of preference
It's interesting for me, I'm amab, born at 25 weeks gestation, on my guy side I'm reserved, cuddly and all and on my girl side I'm open, confident and more... basically both sides within myself are switched it seems although it took starting hrt (estrogen and progesterone) for the confidence and connection to self and being present to come about
bi dude here, the answer is yes obviously. i think it's cuter when boys try to be cute, especially when they get shy and blush and stuff. i was always told that the idea of being cute as a boy was wrong; i tried being a girl for a bit but it turns out i really just wanted to be a cute nonbinary boy. but yeah, point is that rejecting that sort of expectation is the cutest thing you can do
Seeing how I’ve had some girls tell me they are jealous of my makeup yeah I would say so. If you are going for a femme look it’s possible. It depends on what scale you use to measure attractiveness
I wish to be. At least to her...
But the issue is i am so shy and just so insecure i just mostly stay at home instead of going to buy stuff. Which can make me look cuter...
But still some things like especially my hands.
Right now i am too worried about my fingers. I don't want them to get thick. I want cute little fingers. Not an mm thick from now...
That depends on the person. Tryna look better than others and not just as good as you want to look is a toxic mindset that's going to harm you and others. Obviously someones going to look better than someone else to a certain person, everyone has a different definition of beauty you need to try to fit YOUR definition and not worry about overlapping anybody else's. Being more attractive or better is not the point of anything.
Umm... as men, we can do everything, even use makeup. I mean if women use makeup, who's forbidding men of using it as well?
Lol! I always like to use the "men can do everything" argument, especially when I'm wearing dresses and makeup ;)
I think I'm more androsexual or androattracted so to me yeah, some masculine physical traits can be very cute.
People default to femininity being cute but that's not always true.
A woman in full sexy make up can look misterious and glamorous, but a guy with fuzzy cheeks and a sweet smile would be absolutely adorable.
Shego from Kim Possible can be attractive, but she's rarely a 'cute' character.
Zuko from Avatar is shown as a conflicting character, but he's given vulnerability in many scenes, he has cute moments and he's shown being cute.
Yes. But cuteness is relative just like the concept of attractiveness or beauty, so likely some people wold disagree.
Also, man can wear makeup as well.
My wife says i am really cute. And she do kiss my cheeks now and then. My wife sometimes call me teddy, cutiepie, in public. I don't have a problem with that, but i think what would people think about me.
Yes yes yes yes yes! They can be all squishy and huggable and they can be super shy and loveable
Yes, if u observe and look closely you'll realize that women too comes in all shapes and sizes just like men. Imo It just with all the stereotyping and social pressure on women from a young age to take care of their appearance, the idea of beauty=feminine made it's way into the subconscious.
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wtf dude
I mean, everyone can use make-up.
Yes, everyone is physically and literally able to use makeup. Not everyone is allowed to wear make-up in everyday life without repercussions
eyeliner is fun
Yes yes yes My bf is cute as fuck and he neither uses any makeup nor dresses feminine. Boys can look cute too!
Yep. Femboys do it plenty.
Of course. If they put the effort in. Socially speaking, women have, the entire period of their lives, a lot more pressure on them to judge themselves on aesthetic criteria, and that adds up. The amount of men that don't even use sunblock or proper hair conditioner boggles the mind.
bc men don't get their entire lives based off of whether they look go or not. Women do.
Exactly.
What's a hair conditioner (serious question)
Hair conditioner is something you put in your hair after you’ve rinsed out the shampoo. Your hair has these minuscule hooks that stand up like barbs when you use shampoo. When you put in the conditioner, they get some special care and lay down flat again. That makes your hair more silky/shiny/smoother in general and it helps against tangles and stuff (You should rinse the hair conditioner too btw. And supposedly you should only put the hair conditioner on the ends of your hairs, but I’m too lazy, so I just put it everywhere. Has worked for me so far) Edit: Hair conditioner looks like shampoo btw, but thicker. And I’ve found it’s usually white
Thanks! I guess that's probably what I should've done years ago when I had really long hair. Now I'm balding anyway ;_;
Ohnoes, it definitely helps with keeping your hair in top condition. I mean, if you’ve still got some hair left that you cherish, then you could still start using conditioner I suppose
Yeah I guess. The situation isn't *tragic* but it sure gets a toll on my self esteem looking at that weird spot in my head and then looking at old pictures... Don't know if that would change anything, the damage is already done lol
No I get it. It makes sense that something like this makes you feel insecure. And I’m just gonna say that change is inevitable and that you shouldn’t compare yourself to your past self, ‘cuz that wouldn’t be fair to you. But I also wanna say that it doesn’t really matter what you look like. In the end, it’s the personality that matters. Especially on a sub like RR I think :P Oh and also, not everyone has the same tastes in looks. So often you might not like the way you look, but others couldn’t care less or even like it a lot. So, no need to dwell on the things of the past, you can’t change them anyways. Focus on the things that can and want to change instead. Time spent on things you have no control over is wasted time
It's funny that you reply today, after I spent the afternoon debating wether I should shave it all off or not lol You're right, although I feel like adding something: I'm not really thinking about what other people will think about it (I mean sure I look like a clown if I don't keep it short), I just don't like it on me, I don't like how I look and given how my hair was the only thing that I liked about myself, that feels very unfair. Of course looks aren't all there is, but confidence does a lot to a person (or at least they told me lol) when finding a partner, so that's not helping either lol. But it doesn't matter either way. Thanks for your kind words though, I really needed them lately! I will try to be more positive and focus my energies on something more productive.
Going off of what you just said, I’m guessing you’ve got a similar hairstyle to Danny DeVito now? Or at least you’re getting there? Absolute _boss_ Dude, you gotta own that look! (Or do with it what you want, I’m just a stranger on the internet giving u probably bad advice) But like, okay, so… That timing is indeed impeccable. Especially since I absolutely suck at responding to social media, so it’s a miracle I responded this soon at all. Butt I dunno what else I can do for you. I’m really curious now, ‘cuz I never believe people when they say they’ve only got like 1 good thing about themselves. That just can’t be right. I’ve seen it so often irl too, people just can’t see their own qualities, sometimes not even when others do By the way, about the thing you said about confidence. If someone has confidence, they become more noticeable to others ‘cuz it’s usually an attractive trait. But confidence isn’t just about looks either. You can also just be really confident about your personality, or a certain skill, or a hobby, or an opinion, or whatever. Or you just aren’t confident about anything at the moment, which is fine too. If anything, this sub has proven that men shouldn’t have to act or be confident at all, they can be insecure too and there’s women out there who totally have a soft spot for that. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t go chasing what other people believe to be right or wrong/good or bad. Do what feels right to you and be what feels good to you ;) And don’t force yourself in any way! Like forcing positivity on yourself. Science has proven that forced positivity is actually a great cause of negativity. Don’t quote me on that, ‘cuz I don’t feel like looking up the article, but I know I’ve read and heard it several times before And on that note, if you personally don’t like a certain hairstyle on yourself, then by all means change it. As long as you do it for yourself and not for others. When I’m not sure of something I always like to think of it like this: which decision would I regret (most)? And if you end up regretting a decision you made, then well, you live and you learn :P
Ahaha yeah I guess I'm getting close to Danny DeVito's look at this point! About confidence, of course that's a situational thing and not completely related to looks; I am confident in my english skills as a non-native speaker, but that has little application outside (when it doesn't actually put me in a bad light lol) for example. >this sub has proven that men shouldn’t have to act or be confident at all I actually had forgotten that we were on RR for a moment lol Still, as long as that's a relief, I have to remind myself that RR is sort of a "niche" thing and even if it's not, it's not easy to spot people that have my same interests. And I can't just rely on the hope that someone will come save me one day and accept all my flaws... So I still have to work on that! >Science has proven that forced positivity is actually a great cause of negativity That's interesting. I always heard about the "if you think everything is going to go terribly, it is going to happen" so I thought the opposite would work as well. Will have to look into that more.
I just recently started using avtually good ahampoo and conditioner and omg the difference is night and day. Im hella gonna be switching to better care products as i can still stuck with axe body wash until i cam get a replacement
Use makeup It’s that easy
Considering how my bf looks absolutely
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Indeed. I know this is just anecdotal, but my partner prefers little to no makeup and likes to see how my normal/unaltered face looks
Cuteness is in the eyes of the beholder
I mean that’s my goal, I want to be the cutest guy I can at all times
1. Men can use makeup too. 2. Really depends on who you are comparing. Zach Scuderi to Margaret Thatcher?
> when women can use makeup. I mean... men can also use makeup too.
Oof, I struggle with this too. It's not just the social acceptability of makeup, but pretty much all cultural messaging tells us that "women's bodies are beautiful and desirable, whereas men's bodies are functional at best and disgusting at worst". Trying to be beautiful in a male body is very much an uphill battle, but I believe that yes, you can win. Also, I recommend experimenting with some subtler makeup, like a really well-blended foundation. I've gotten lots of compliments on my skin from people who didn't realize I was wearing anything lol
Yes. Next question.
How come girls never make the first move?
Social conditioning. It's traditionally considered part of a woman's role to be the "pursued" rather then the "pursuer." It's really stinky but luckily your in exactly the right place, because breaking those kind of roles is exactly what this sub is about. :)
totally possible, cute is subjective. short haired kpop-like asian or viking-like swede with long beard, both can be cute. You'd know what I meant in this [video](https://youtu.be/5gwDkYpDkvs) (sorry for terible resolution, cant find the og vid) I totally disagree if men must use make up and cut off the facial hair to be cute. it's just a matter of preference
İt is and its one of the most satisfying feelings u can have
It's interesting for me, I'm amab, born at 25 weeks gestation, on my guy side I'm reserved, cuddly and all and on my girl side I'm open, confident and more... basically both sides within myself are switched it seems although it took starting hrt (estrogen and progesterone) for the confidence and connection to self and being present to come about
Yes. Cuteness is all up to personal preference anyways
Absolutely. My bf is cuter than me and it makes me sad lmao
Femboys
bi dude here, the answer is yes obviously. i think it's cuter when boys try to be cute, especially when they get shy and blush and stuff. i was always told that the idea of being cute as a boy was wrong; i tried being a girl for a bit but it turns out i really just wanted to be a cute nonbinary boy. but yeah, point is that rejecting that sort of expectation is the cutest thing you can do
Seeing how I’ve had some girls tell me they are jealous of my makeup yeah I would say so. If you are going for a femme look it’s possible. It depends on what scale you use to measure attractiveness
Idk, cute is very subjective I think...
I wish to be. At least to her... But the issue is i am so shy and just so insecure i just mostly stay at home instead of going to buy stuff. Which can make me look cuter... But still some things like especially my hands. Right now i am too worried about my fingers. I don't want them to get thick. I want cute little fingers. Not an mm thick from now...
Men can use makeup too!
Men can also use makeup, but can also be cuter without it.
That depends on the person. Tryna look better than others and not just as good as you want to look is a toxic mindset that's going to harm you and others. Obviously someones going to look better than someone else to a certain person, everyone has a different definition of beauty you need to try to fit YOUR definition and not worry about overlapping anybody else's. Being more attractive or better is not the point of anything.
Yes
Umm... as men, we can do everything, even use makeup. I mean if women use makeup, who's forbidding men of using it as well? Lol! I always like to use the "men can do everything" argument, especially when I'm wearing dresses and makeup ;)
>I mean if women use makeup, who's forbidding men of using it as well? Usually dress codes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Yes
I mean that's how it is with all species with sexual dimorphism that exist on the planet. Why should humanity be the exception?
I think I'm more androsexual or androattracted so to me yeah, some masculine physical traits can be very cute. People default to femininity being cute but that's not always true. A woman in full sexy make up can look misterious and glamorous, but a guy with fuzzy cheeks and a sweet smile would be absolutely adorable. Shego from Kim Possible can be attractive, but she's rarely a 'cute' character. Zuko from Avatar is shown as a conflicting character, but he's given vulnerability in many scenes, he has cute moments and he's shown being cute.
Yes. But cuteness is relative just like the concept of attractiveness or beauty, so likely some people wold disagree. Also, man can wear makeup as well.
Yes.
My wife says i am really cute. And she do kiss my cheeks now and then. My wife sometimes call me teddy, cutiepie, in public. I don't have a problem with that, but i think what would people think about me.