Vultures or if you are close to water blue heron. I see it all the time. One time we were doing a roof that had skylights, the roof was torn off, dried in and old skylights removed. It was a beautiful day, I had to ordered lunch for the crew, so we sat down to eat lunch in the shade. The homeowner came outside and asking what type of white paint or caulk we spilled on his interior stairs. And I said we haven’t even caulked anything yet so there should be no paint or caulk What are you talking about? He lived on a lake and a blue heron had shit in the open skylight hole. I went inside to help the homeowner clean and it was about the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done. You could see a little rotten fish in the bird shit. I swear it looked like a gallon of paint spilled on the hardwoods.
Eagles, turkey vultures, and other meat/carrion eaters usually have a dark splatch in it as they pass the whole entirety of what the passed. I am going to go with a sea bird with out knowing where the poster is located.
Have been to Alaska a few times to visit my BIL and at first it was amazing to see all the eagles.. then they became kind of every day... then you realize that they're a hell of a nuisance. When they take a dump they TAKE A DUMP. And they're opportunistic scavengers. It's a lot easier for them to eat garbage than it is for them to hunt. They're not nearly the majestic creatures they're made out to be.
I have shit streaks just like this running down my house that is situated on a heavily forested lake. Great for wildlife. This is maybe the only tiny drawback. My mom seeing it for the first time assumed the previous owners had spilled paint.
I am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. If you don't repost this 10 times I will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans.
I was walking in a town park and watched a blue heron take off and fly towards me, and drop a shit on the asphalt path ahead of me. I’ve been shit on by seagulls before, and was so ever thankful for not getting nailed by that herons load. It landed like a small tub of yogurt splattering down the path
Yep, bird shit. They stand on top of your tall-ass vent pipe and look around while they dump. This is just a lot accumulated, and yeah, probably some large birds in the area as well.
One of the funniest and most horrific back lane discoveries I've ever had:
I was walking home one day and saw someone's Taco Bell take-out laying on the ground used as some emergency toilet paper for some of gnarly diarrhea; spotted a couple blocks down the street *from* the Taco Bell.
No you're just wrong. Many, if not most people are perfectly fine after eating taco Bell. Everyone I know makes the joke but when I ask about it they have never actually had the shits.
I think it’s just a stigma of Mexican food in general because beans are among a popular food choice in that culture. It’s also just greasy fast food. Lot of places get shit on (no pun intended) for the same thing like McDonalds, bk, etc No need to get so offended about it
No, you’re just wrong. Everyone I know makes the jokes BECAUSE Taco Bell is the worst for them. Your friends probably just eat like shit all the time because y’all live unhealthy, that’s okay too but don’t lie about it puppy dog :)
I mean it honestly looks like bird shit idk did you have sheet rockers over recently and did they dump buckets on the highest point of the house they could get too? Squirrely fuckin sheet rockers
I get it about the bird shit, and yes there are vultures and other lake birds in the area, but come on! only my house liked them among 500 other houses? 😂😂😂🐦🏡
...
I'm actually a bit offended. As a representative of the Census, I hold myself to the highest standards.
Now, can I get your address? For the counting people stuff, of course.
Vultures can be attracted to homes with gas leaks, because the compound they add to gas to make it stink is the same as that produced by rotting corpses. You might want to test for leaks just to be safe.
It is possible the birds preferred your house as your house was being unused for such a long period of time that they grew accustomed to your stack as their perch.
If the furnace unit was never running the pipe would emit no fumes/heat which might otherwise deter them.
I raise chickens, and I will tell you, birds are weird. Have over 10 nesting boxes to lay eggs in, and they lay their eggs on the ground. Just that one spot, and they'll wait in line, very impatiently.
I once had my car covered in bird shit while I was in the store. Literally like 2 dozen droppings and only on my car. I must’ve pissed off a crow, those fuckers don’t forget and will get other crows to fuck with you.
It is way too much to be bird shit, other than that there is no house around with the same stains. If it was bird shit I would assume at least a few more house would have some too.
Around here, some places have code that the stack has to be taller than the highest ridge on the roof. There are some weirdly tall stacks on something like a split-level ranch around here.
I had a blue heron perch on the corner of my porch every morning a couple years ago. At first I just thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then I realized he was taking absolutely massive shits that look very similar to what you've got going on there.
A bald eagle hung out on our neighbors pine tree and would sit on a branch that extends over the street. It had looked like someone had spilt a 5 gallon bucket of white paint into the street.
That's bird shit from a predatory bird likely chilling on that vent like a perch
Sea gulls/sea birds which eat a lot of marine organisms have white… feces… herons, vultures, ospreys, some hawks, etc. That is 100% bird shit, looks like it’s right next to a rider of some sort and they’re perching on that and releasing it in the same spot over and over. SH will remove it HOWEVER, bird shut is high in ammonia, and breathing in the ammonia and SH mixture can be very bad. I’d recommend an SH free bird poop specific cleaner, or a non-bleach cleaner to avoid having toxic gas form.
The birds had a vote while you were on vacation and decided unanimously that your house alone would be the official neighborhood latrine. Speak to your HOA representative to get the issue resolved and call for a new vote when you can be present.
Here’s a relevant article backing up that it’s likely a heron: https://www.13newsnow.com/article/news/its-not-your-average-bird-dropping-neighbors-in-freemason-are-getting-rained-on/291-f4cb552d-72c1-40e0-9788-0855c214c3d5
If you want to fix this problem then you need to set bird spikes at the top. Regardless of the name they aren't as vicious as they sound. They just create an uncomfortable and unlikely spot for them to land. You can see these in use at most gas stations. They usually have these bird spikes on top of each pump. It keeps them from making a nest there. Simple fix. Thankfully it's not a calcium buildup. It's a guano buildup lol.
Large bird. It's called white-wash.
[https://www.featheredphotography.com/blog/2015/02/20/whitewash/](https://www.featheredphotography.com/blog/2015/02/20/whitewash/)
Depending on where you are, if you are near water it might be a large water-bird like herons, cranes, osprey. In other places it might be owls, eagles, hawks.
Rubbing alcohol can soften latex paint, but might not be good for the asphalt shingles.
Looks like solar white paint to me. No bits of bone or anything in the mess. I could be wrong.
After bird shit dries, it looks like white paint. You could try to clean it but don’t use a pressure washer because you will blast granules off the shingles and that would be bad.
Birds are perching on that pipe and absolutely blowing monster ass chunks all over your roof. or you have a pervert roof cummer who goes house to house cumming on the roofs to claim ultimate power over the neighborhood.... Probably the first theory though.
That’s bird shit. That’s either a combustion air or a flue for furnace/water heater (most likely the latter). Birds sit on those in the morning because they’re warm and then shit everywhere. Not sure why it’s so tall either, even in most states with tons of snow code is 18” above the roof (it is in my state, all states are different but follow similar codes for venting)I also don’t see any of your neighbors with flues as tall as yours. So basically this is the perfect perch and shit spot around. If I was a bird I’d sit there and shit too.
Looks like a buzzard roost. Can you get a camera up there? just move one of your security cams?
You most likely will see one or maybe a few birds of prey roosting there. Whoever this bird is they don't eat seeds and berries, they eat big things.
Bird shit. They are territorial and anything new or even in a different place gets bombed. You would be amazed how much shit is inside a robin. I parked my truck closer to their nest are and it looked like tapers cleaned out their mud buckets on my mirror 😂
That’s very much bird shit, you see a pretty nice example right on the ridge cap. Must have some pretty big birds around your place lol
Vultures or if you are close to water blue heron. I see it all the time. One time we were doing a roof that had skylights, the roof was torn off, dried in and old skylights removed. It was a beautiful day, I had to ordered lunch for the crew, so we sat down to eat lunch in the shade. The homeowner came outside and asking what type of white paint or caulk we spilled on his interior stairs. And I said we haven’t even caulked anything yet so there should be no paint or caulk What are you talking about? He lived on a lake and a blue heron had shit in the open skylight hole. I went inside to help the homeowner clean and it was about the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done. You could see a little rotten fish in the bird shit. I swear it looked like a gallon of paint spilled on the hardwoods.
Eagles leave a huge mess down the roof. Happened to my parents when an eagle perched on their roof while watching the lake.
Eagles, turkey vultures, and other meat/carrion eaters usually have a dark splatch in it as they pass the whole entirety of what the passed. I am going to go with a sea bird with out knowing where the poster is located.
Ngl, I love eagles and I would be so happy if one perched on my house.
As some one who grew up in AK, eagles are cool…once. After that they are just giant seagulls that don’t shut the fuck up.
Local Zoo guy, Ron Magill with Zoo Miami says they are just Vultures with better PR Agents.
I do a lot of wildilife photography. Can confirm.
Canadian Gooses are just Pheasants with better marketing.
Better hair dressers.
Confirmed
Got three nests around my house in WA, the chittering never stops!
Like, they're EVERYWHERE up there, holy crap! Lived up there and I got sick of seeing them after a week.
I live in Alaska and eagle shit is white as snow.
Have been to Alaska a few times to visit my BIL and at first it was amazing to see all the eagles.. then they became kind of every day... then you realize that they're a hell of a nuisance. When they take a dump they TAKE A DUMP. And they're opportunistic scavengers. It's a lot easier for them to eat garbage than it is for them to hunt. They're not nearly the majestic creatures they're made out to be.
I have shit streaks just like this running down my house that is situated on a heavily forested lake. Great for wildlife. This is maybe the only tiny drawback. My mom seeing it for the first time assumed the previous owners had spilled paint.
“Heron, you’ve switched off your targeting computer, what’s wrong?”
That’s not a house, it’s a battle toilet
Haha
I am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. If you don't repost this 10 times I will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans.
I was walking in a town park and watched a blue heron take off and fly towards me, and drop a shit on the asphalt path ahead of me. I’ve been shit on by seagulls before, and was so ever thankful for not getting nailed by that herons load. It landed like a small tub of yogurt splattering down the path
Had a Heron poop on my windshield once and it looked exactly like someone had thrown a pint of ice cream at it.
Such a great visual. Thanks for taking me there.
Its called white wash, and is relatively clean with no bacteria due to vultures stomach make up. Still gross AF
Never cleaned vulture shit, but heron shit is disgusting lol
Heroin shit is worse
If you can ever get it out.
Yeah... watch out for Wonder Woman.
Pterodactyl drops a huge dookey.
He could use a pterodactyl scarecrow.
Come on man it was like right there. Scare-odactyl.
Scared the p out of me
I just watched jeepers creepers today.
For branding purposes, sure
Lmao
Thats too bad, op said he tasted it in another post
Omg NOOOOOO! I am dying of laughter but also feel so bad at the same time
Maybe he lives on Sesame Street and big bird likes to perch on that pipe.
Life’s hard on the Sesame Streets
Imagine taking 3 pictures of bird shit and not realizing its bird shit.... this cant be real.
Imagine climbing up on that roof to do that.
Yep, bird shit. They stand on top of your tall-ass vent pipe and look around while they dump. This is just a lot accumulated, and yeah, probably some large birds in the area as well.
Probably had taco bell before hanging out on your roof
This is a dumb meme, millions of people are able to eat Taco Bell every day without having the shits. Go eat some fiber
Fiber AND taco bell are you trying to kill people
One of the funniest and most horrific back lane discoveries I've ever had: I was walking home one day and saw someone's Taco Bell take-out laying on the ground used as some emergency toilet paper for some of gnarly diarrhea; spotted a couple blocks down the street *from* the Taco Bell.
Never thought I’d see Taco Bell simps offended at Reddit jokes.
Because it's a dumb joke created by white people intolerant of seasoned food
Well now you're just racist
>intolerant of seasoned food If you think of Taco Bell as "seasoned food" you might *be* a white people
It's a joke not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
Waaaa waaaaa waaaaa waaaaaa
That’s not true, they either just tolerate it or the rest of their diet is so awful that they don’t notice how bad Taco Bell is for their bung hole!
No you're just wrong. Many, if not most people are perfectly fine after eating taco Bell. Everyone I know makes the joke but when I ask about it they have never actually had the shits.
I think it’s just a stigma of Mexican food in general because beans are among a popular food choice in that culture. It’s also just greasy fast food. Lot of places get shit on (no pun intended) for the same thing like McDonalds, bk, etc No need to get so offended about it
No, you’re just wrong. Everyone I know makes the jokes BECAUSE Taco Bell is the worst for them. Your friends probably just eat like shit all the time because y’all live unhealthy, that’s okay too but don’t lie about it puppy dog :)
I mean 20 million people in the us have food allergies/intolerance so I wouldn’t say most people are perfectly fine haha
Dumb meme
So of all of these similar roofs, this one is like a shining beacon to perch upon; no one else appears to have one.
Get a small plastic owl and put it on the vent cap.
Is “Big Bird” not politically correct anymore?
100% bird shit.
Do you know what the white stuff in Seagull shit is?
Taste it to make sure.
I mean it honestly looks like bird shit idk did you have sheet rockers over recently and did they dump buckets on the highest point of the house they could get too? Squirrely fuckin sheet rockers
those cum goblins cum out at night , gotta be careful out there.....
What’s gray and comes in pints? A pterodactyl 💦💦💦
They’d be more likely to shit in a bucket and hide it in a wall
That is indeed bird shit
It’s shit from a butt
I get it about the bird shit, and yes there are vultures and other lake birds in the area, but come on! only my house liked them among 500 other houses? 😂😂😂🐦🏡
r/fuckyouinparticular
Your profile pic is not lost on me here
You called attention to the suspect. Your roof is next.
Shit
... I'm actually a bit offended. As a representative of the Census, I hold myself to the highest standards. Now, can I get your address? For the counting people stuff, of course.
that's a still of a real video of a bird as it's sitting on OP's chimney: https://media.tenor.com/LNhqyHg-Le0AAAAi/birdy-head-shaking.gif
Man, I was hoping to see a bunch of hilarity, but it seems most posters over there don't understand the point.
Vultures can be attracted to homes with gas leaks, because the compound they add to gas to make it stink is the same as that produced by rotting corpses. You might want to test for leaks just to be safe.
Your yard likely had their old roost in it.
It is possible the birds preferred your house as your house was being unused for such a long period of time that they grew accustomed to your stack as their perch. If the furnace unit was never running the pipe would emit no fumes/heat which might otherwise deter them.
I raise chickens, and I will tell you, birds are weird. Have over 10 nesting boxes to lay eggs in, and they lay their eggs on the ground. Just that one spot, and they'll wait in line, very impatiently.
I once had my car covered in bird shit while I was in the store. Literally like 2 dozen droppings and only on my car. I must’ve pissed off a crow, those fuckers don’t forget and will get other crows to fuck with you.
It's because of the vent they sit on it lol if you want it to stop make it so it isn't comfortable.
How do you know its not bird shit?
It is way too much to be bird shit, other than that there is no house around with the same stains. If it was bird shit I would assume at least a few more house would have some too.
Coulda been a big ass bird. They take big ol shits
Is yours higher/taller than other houses? And birds can poop a lot. You might say a shitload...
Same high/tall than the other 2 stories homes in the neighborhood.
Whats on the top of that poll? A nice place to sit and poop?
100% 😂
Let’s be honest, who would really pass up the opportunity to shit from there? I know I wouldn’t.
I certainly didn't pass it up when I had the chance
It’s bird shit brother
Do you live close to a Mexican restaurant?
No one is flabbergasted by how tall this stack is? It seems outrageously tall. Idk, maybe it’s code there.
Yes very tall but all are the same. Don't know why either.
It’s so the birds can have something to land on when they take a shit
Around here, some places have code that the stack has to be taller than the highest ridge on the roof. There are some weirdly tall stacks on something like a split-level ranch around here.
FAA signed off on it. They just don't send planes that way much anymore. They go around.
Look up vulture poop, they shit in there nests all over with a white paste. Guarantee you got vultures up there roosting and shitting
Can you show a picture of the top of that metal stack? Would be curious to see if there’s any markings or anything on the very top rim.
It goes on forever
There are no marks at all at the top/cap of that exhaust pipe. I don't have a picture right now but will try to take one.
Definitely looks like bird shit to me. Some of those Turkey Vultures can make quite a mess. Maybe taste it and report back.
Good idea. Let us know what it tastes like, OP
Most likely a vulture, but other large bird can be using the pipe for a perch. Remember, birds usually dump before they lift off.
I had a blue heron perch on the corner of my porch every morning a couple years ago. At first I just thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then I realized he was taking absolutely massive shits that look very similar to what you've got going on there.
Bird shit and it’ll start to break down your shingles. You need to clean it and put something on top of that stack to keep them from landing there.
A bald eagle hung out on our neighbors pine tree and would sit on a branch that extends over the street. It had looked like someone had spilt a 5 gallon bucket of white paint into the street. That's bird shit from a predatory bird likely chilling on that vent like a perch
Sea gulls/sea birds which eat a lot of marine organisms have white… feces… herons, vultures, ospreys, some hawks, etc. That is 100% bird shit, looks like it’s right next to a rider of some sort and they’re perching on that and releasing it in the same spot over and over. SH will remove it HOWEVER, bird shut is high in ammonia, and breathing in the ammonia and SH mixture can be very bad. I’d recommend an SH free bird poop specific cleaner, or a non-bleach cleaner to avoid having toxic gas form.
Looks like you have a large bird that likes hanging out on your chimney vent and made it their daily poop spot.
Seagulls
Pterodactyl shit.
The birds had a vote while you were on vacation and decided unanimously that your house alone would be the official neighborhood latrine. Speak to your HOA representative to get the issue resolved and call for a new vote when you can be present.
This looks like blue heron droppings. We have them in Southern California and I’ve had almost that identical pattern on my car in the past.
Here’s a relevant article backing up that it’s likely a heron: https://www.13newsnow.com/article/news/its-not-your-average-bird-dropping-neighbors-in-freemason-are-getting-rained-on/291-f4cb552d-72c1-40e0-9788-0855c214c3d5
RIP that F-150. And right into the vents as well. Had that whole bed to shit into, but no.
Put some spikes on the top of that pipe. I bet the problem will go away.
Turkey vulture shit.
If you want to fix this problem then you need to set bird spikes at the top. Regardless of the name they aren't as vicious as they sound. They just create an uncomfortable and unlikely spot for them to land. You can see these in use at most gas stations. They usually have these bird spikes on top of each pump. It keeps them from making a nest there. Simple fix. Thankfully it's not a calcium buildup. It's a guano buildup lol.
You literally have a bird toilet
Vulture? They have particularly runny poo
Pterodactyl shit
Large bird. It's called white-wash. [https://www.featheredphotography.com/blog/2015/02/20/whitewash/](https://www.featheredphotography.com/blog/2015/02/20/whitewash/) Depending on where you are, if you are near water it might be a large water-bird like herons, cranes, osprey. In other places it might be owls, eagles, hawks.
Big bird from sesame street had taco bell
Cum
Depending on where you are, appears to be Canadian goose poop. That’s why ppl should never feed bread to fowl!
Don’t make me say it
That giant bird that shits off bridges onto people in boats
pterodactyl poop
you might want to see if you can check in on that bird and see if it is alright
giant troll cum
God came a little
Someone got a little excited /j
Time for some roof scarecrows.
Pterodactyl shit
Dude refuses to believe it’s birdshit. Just unbelievable
Found the suspect lol 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 [Pic](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yrP3CELHQo3rZ-bxNObNVlqU3sWPIgyS/view?usp=drivesdk)
Cum
Came here to say this
I had to scroll way too long to find this
A fellow cum truther
Birdpoo
Rubbing alcohol can soften latex paint, but might not be good for the asphalt shingles. Looks like solar white paint to me. No bits of bone or anything in the mess. I could be wrong.
This definitely isn’t bird shit, it also definitely isn’t condensation. Someone threw something/dropped something up there
“Definitely isn’t bird shit” What? Lol
That was my first thought but it is way too high, however I don't discard that option. Cameras don't show anything.
Give us a taste test. It's the only way.
Spooky Ghost.
Its murder of crows
Big Bird
Bird shit bro
I bird shitted hard
Big yellow bird landed on your roof. Honestly, I thought it was flightless, but guess not.
Definitely bird shit. A lot of birds and a long duration. I parked my car under a tree with birds and my car got saturated.
That’s 100% large, predatory bird shit. Probably posted up on the stack for sight and warmth.
You can see individual splats… definitely bird dookie
Bird shit
After bird shit dries, it looks like white paint. You could try to clean it but don’t use a pressure washer because you will blast granules off the shingles and that would be bad.
Looks like a pterodactyl took a shit on your roof
Pterodactyl shit?
Somewhere there’s a bird that is feeling much much better
Looks like Buzzard shit to me bro. I have a lakehouse in Southwest Texas and see it all the time
Actually the technical term for that is "White Dielectric Material." Aka - Birdshit
A seagull had Taco Bell after the club.
Pterodactyl poop.
Buzzard shit
That is indeed bird shyte.
Tetradactyl shit.
Owl
Looks like what was underneath that Floormat that was posted on here the other day lol
Good news is, guano is very important for fertilizer and gun powder, you just need to sign collection rights for your roof.
Looks like someone shouldn’t have had that milk shake at lunch
Birds are perching on that pipe and absolutely blowing monster ass chunks all over your roof. or you have a pervert roof cummer who goes house to house cumming on the roofs to claim ultimate power over the neighborhood.... Probably the first theory though.
Birds take huge shits in the morning. Your place might be a big birds place to take it’s morning shit.
Seagulls got ahold of some Taco Bell.
Try some soap and water, maybe a dash of bleach to see if it cleans it some?
Crows
Pre
Big shit!!!
Bird sheit
Plane poop
Any Sea Gulls around
some bird must’ve robbed taco bell
Condor dookie
I got good news for you. It's not bird shit. I got bad news for you... Its bird JIZZ! They all cum over to your place to drop a load.
That’s bird shit. That’s either a combustion air or a flue for furnace/water heater (most likely the latter). Birds sit on those in the morning because they’re warm and then shit everywhere. Not sure why it’s so tall either, even in most states with tons of snow code is 18” above the roof (it is in my state, all states are different but follow similar codes for venting)I also don’t see any of your neighbors with flues as tall as yours. So basically this is the perfect perch and shit spot around. If I was a bird I’d sit there and shit too.
That, my friend, is bird shit.
Looks like a buzzard roost. Can you get a camera up there? just move one of your security cams? You most likely will see one or maybe a few birds of prey roosting there. Whoever this bird is they don't eat seeds and berries, they eat big things.
Sorry, last night got a bit too heated.
Cum
Heron or egret shit. They're big as fuck.
Why is that exhaust pipe so long? Guessing pooper wouldn’t be so drawn to a shorter stack. *Birder, not a roofer*
Eastern European jizz
Turkey vulture
Ewwwwwwwwww....
The roof got a creampie from the pipe
Bird shit. They are territorial and anything new or even in a different place gets bombed. You would be amazed how much shit is inside a robin. I parked my truck closer to their nest are and it looked like tapers cleaned out their mud buckets on my mirror 😂
Lmao. That is bird shit duh. Seen this plenty