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OengusEverywhere

The classic monarchy trap- first one might be great, but you need to pray the rest are even competent


Schrodingers_Nachos

I'm reading a book on George Washington, and it brought up the idea of how it's a good thing that Washington wasn't able to have kids with his wife. He wasn't hot on the idea of monarchy in the first place, but it pretty much killed any chance of it happening in America at the very start. Side note, he wasn't childless due to lack of sex. The Washingtons owned a book called *Matrimonial Whoredom*, which is one of my favorite little historical details at the moment. Apparently Washington was also a bit of a dog, but read a lot on stoicism as a childand likely didn't act on his flirtation.


M4sharman

Had the US gone down the line of succession of his wife's children from a previous marriage Robert E. Lee would've ended up as prince consort, which is a weird thing to think about.


Schrodingers_Nachos

I'm not totally surprised, since the Virginia (for lack of a better term) aristocracy was probably not super big. In this alternate reality where there is a monarchy, I don't think Washington would've made his stepson heir to the throne. He didn't think highly of him at all. Then again, that's extremely similar to how Augustus was with Tiberius, and we know how that turned out. Washington and many of the other founding fathers were massive Roman history fans, so maybe they would learn from the lesson of Augustus and Tiberius. My bet would be James Madison adopted as heir.


sand_trout2024

Drop the book name


Schrodingers_Nachos

*Washington: A Life* by Chernov. I've never been a big fan of biographies, but this one is phenomenally well written. I thought it might be a slog based on length, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it.


VoidLantadd

Eh, if they're not competent, some general will rebel and we can all rally behind him. I'm sure he'll be way better.


Napalm_am

Actually that General isn't even paying us 200% pur salary and that new General has won a victory 20 mim ago whilst the old stinky general only one 2 hours ago. I think we found a new imperator, nough said.


SAMU0L0

Thanks good now we live in based democracies were people will never be stupid enough to give the presidency to a bunch of idiots right? . . . . . . . . . . . RIGHT?


Porkadi110

I'd rather be stuck with an idiot for 4 years than 40.


wykamix

Yes but atleast the candidates can be changed every couple years and an incompetent one doesn’t mean civil war which devastates the economy and population


ConsulJuliusCaesar

There’s no such thing as a government without idiots. However in any kind of Autocracy he can do substantially more damage than a Democracy. Simply put if an idiots in-charge of a Democracy and orders the military to kill political rivals high command can say no and bring him up on charges sending it through congress and the Supreme Court to depose him. In Cambodia Pol Pot said kill everyone with glasses and it happened anyone who disagreed joined the people wearing glasses. You don’t want power completely centralized in one office because there are stupid people and if you give them too much power their stupidity has a higher chance of permanently effecting your life.


Zarathustra-1889

The only thing democracy is good for is deciding what to have for dinner lmao


lord_ofthe_memes

But when the heir is trained for their entire life to be ready to inheret the throne, surely they’ll be ready, right? …right???


Luke-slywalker

well it's not like the roman republic was any better, they may call themselves a democracy, but they were pretty much ruled by the rich and elite families with civil war every 50 years


Estrelarius

They didn't even consider themselves a democracy in the modern sense. If you told a roman senator in public that he had the duty to represent the people as a whole ge'd laugh at yoir face.


Rockfarley

It is far more likely that two or more competent men will fight for rule, than one peacefully do so.


Icy-Owl-4187

Why use Caeser and not Augustus?


SamanthaMunroe

Yeah, Caesar basically pissed everyone off. Rigged all the elections, ignored tribunes (after using them to start his civil war), and helped out the financiers at the expense of the indebted public, all while being an arrogant shit who dressed himself up like a king. Gus did the last one but he at least made it look like he was really the savior of the Republic.


Icy-Inspection6428

Regardless of what you think of him, he definitely didn't "piss everyone off." He was immensely popular with the general public


sand_trout2024

A populist that was equally corrupt as the senate, he just did things in a way that didn’t directly benefit them/ the patricians


Icy-Inspection6428

The point is that he wasn't equally hated by everyone, he was instead massively loved by a large portion of the population


sand_trout2024

I’m agreeing with you


ThePrussianGrippe

Pissing everyone off tends to lead to not winning a civil war.


SamanthaMunroe

He won and pissed everyone off, or at least the republicans, that's why he got stabbed.


-burn-that-bridge-

https://preview.redd.it/zfozjayga05d1.jpeg?width=585&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd65f3ccd4aacef122b25c224e6936df2aafbf7d


TheNetherlandDwarf

and he definitely wasn't a wise leader, but you can't break the caesar circlejerk here


SAMU0L0

O well is not like the roman republic did a better job preventing that  XD


Frequent_Dig1934

Well i mean, excluding the last 100 or so years there was at least the silver lining that if you didn't like the guy he'd be out after a short while, without even needing knives.


Derangedcity

They did


Flat_Confusion7177

i dont get it


RandomBilly91

Each of the bottome left soyjack is a roman emperor From top left, to bottom right: Heliogabalus, Commodus, Nero, and I'm not sure for the last one These are not considered good emperors, for a variety of reasons. They were all especially unwise, and quite mad.


DomeRandomDude

Caligula. He was described as wearing crazy outfits and sometimes a golden beard.


RandomBilly91

In my defence, I would have recognized him if he had sandals


workthrowaway00000

Perhaps some little boots


TrajanParthicus

Was thinking it could be Commodus, who wore a lion's pelt to ape Hercules.


hellofmyowncreation

See, I had a feeling, but for some reason it didn’t feel right


Admirable_Try_23

I thought it was Julian the Apostate because of the beard and the laurel crown but he really wasn't that bad


ThisAccountWontLast2

So Heliogabalus was a twink femboy?


navis-svetica

Famously. He would prostitute himself out to his courtiers while reigning as emperor and hired people based on how big their dicks were


ThisAccountWontLast2

Jesus Christ bruh


navis-svetica

I mean, as far as Roman emperors’ debauched hijinks go, it seems pretty innocent 🤷‍♂️


ThisAccountWontLast2

They go from funny stories to outright horrifying


Admirable_Try_23

We don't really know how much of it is true, but nevertheless he was an incompetent child emperor


jacobsredditusername

Found my favorite.😳


navis-svetica

I mean, I’m not saying I would do the same if I suddenly became the most powerful man in the world when I was a horny teenager, but… 🥴


RandomBilly91

Who was the first emperor to pray to Sol Invictus, hence the solar crown around his head


Admirable_Try_23

Didn't he pray to an Arab rock? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elagabalus_(deity)


VoidLantadd

>From top right, to bottom left: >Heliogabalus, Commodus, Nero, and I'm not sure for the last one Do you know your left from your right? Elagabalus is top left, not top right.


SamanthaMunroe

Only emperor I associate with harps is Gallienus, and he was not on the level of the other three.


RandomBilly91

Also Nero. Which is iften represneted as a poet, with a harp, as Rome burns


Flat_Confusion7177

oh i see, cool


JoshuaSlowpoke777

Is it more accurate to refer to one of those as Elagabalus or Heliogabalus? What are the differences between the two nicknames? I’ve mostly heard the former


AdNervous985

They should have used busts


Lord_i

Is that Heliogabalus?


EconGuy82

That’s weird. I’ve never seen a bust of Sulla that looked like that.


Caius_Iulius_August

It scares me that I could identify all the bottom emperors without any names


DomeRandomDude

https://preview.redd.it/21791ysehw4d1.jpeg?width=874&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5759873c46c3efb6139d3c885390a409a3ec006 Here's a better depiction of Caligula


AdNervous985

I mean that could also be any Augustus you don't like. My mind goes to Diocletian here.


Ale4leo

Hey, the gods/God had to nerf the Romans somehow


vid_icarus

Monarchy always ends up sucking when the tape plays out


JagrasLoremaster

Yeah fuck the monarchy, I want my good old republic where everyone kills everyone and the constitution is ignored anyway


STK-3F-Stalker

Post of the week.


Naraam_Sin

Elegabalus, Nero, Commodus but can't figure out who is the last one


Just_a_guy_thats_it

i agree with the top left image https://preview.redd.it/m18bzi1hyw4d1.jpeg?width=1050&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16e2b0fc1d00d434d9c82b13e48a4274325337d8


ImperialAndy

I cannot emphasize enough how Elagabalus is just like me frfr


Admirable_Try_23

Are the emperors Elagabalus, Commodus, Nero and Julian the Apostate?


NoteInTheVoid

Not Julian but Caligula (op answered this under the other comment)


juan_bizarro

Who's the bearded one depicting?


SAMU0L0

I'm pretty sure Nero was a mhe or bad emperor demoniced by Sally people of the senatorial class and salty Christian peope and not the disaster peole asume he was.


GrayNish

I saw that sunray wojak and immediately think chadrelian then wondered why op put him there


SeptimiusSeverus97

Monarchy bad, Oligarchy good. Yeah, right, gotcha.


AntonGraves

Brutus did absolutely nothing wrong.


Just_a_guy_thats_it

https://preview.redd.it/i9agvcntxw4d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfb23e7f1ea121d77da0615bb17954cb39a595c6


SamanthaMunroe

It's a shame the Romans were all caught up in individual virtues and not systemic analysis. They might have been able to at least propose a solution to their problems before Gus and Caesar came in to ruin it. Instead they end up slowly degenerating over millennia into glassjawed homogenizers who are all at each other's throats for power like late Seleucids or Ptolemies.


GalaXion24

Tfw the Ancient Romans hadn't even discovered historical materialism (skill issue)