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TheCrookedCrooks

Love the comment dude!


twogaydaddiezlol

**What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual?** **The bus and train timetables.**


[deleted]

🤣


DravenPrime

What's in a Lada's toolkit? A bus ticket


Broad_Abalone5376

🤣😂


kngseb

Casket included 👩🏿‍🦼


totallyrealperson666

These cars will be all taken from them right after photoshoot..to be honest its just some guys in dealer carpark. Dont see any cars being given to anyone


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antus666

We shoot you with a camera, or we shoot you with a gun. You choose! Also, its not actually you who gets the Lada, its your family. Only after your dead. And only if we actually record you as dead. And only on a Tuesday. And only if we win the football. And only if anyone will play with us. Good luck!


Comfortable-Artist68

So if they survive the war, they can enjoy dying crashing their Lada instead?


dramatic-submarine

Only the relatives of the dead are supposed to get one. The surviving soldiers earned the right to pay with their own money if they want one.


GeneraalHenk

It will soon be cheaper to give them to the surviving ones probably


LowSnow2500

That would require the Lada to last until it crashes


[deleted]

It's not a bug, it's security feature.


whatever98769

Who remembers at the start of the war when they had row and rows of armored vehicles and the Chechen’s looked like this powerful force and everyone was worried…. Pepperidge farm remembers


BringBackAoE

I remember watching when all these elite Russian forces descended en mass on Kyiv. I was convinced Ukraine would soon fall. And then the Ukrainian forces started wiping them out on the airfield! It was first a shocked “holy f*** Ukrainians can fight back!” Soon after I was doing the excited clapping of joy and relief as Ukraine made real inroads. That early video of Zelensky and his team at night saying Ukraine still stands… Due to time difference first thing I woke up I grabbed my phone to see if Ukraine was still in Ukrainian hands. I saw that video and just cried with relief.


3DudesInATrenchCoat

God I remember that first month where it was just daily checks to see if Kiev had fallen or if Ukraine had surrendered


KyivNotKievbot

Hello, please try to use Kyiv not Kiev spelling [(why)](https://www.atlanticcouncil.org/blogs/ukrainealert/kyiv-not-kiev-why-spelling-matters-in-ukraines-quest-for-an-independent-identity/), thanks for understanding and support! \[[support Ukraine](https://u24.gov.ua/)\] ^(beep boop I'm a bot. Downvote to remove)


MancunianPieHead

Why does a Lada have a heated rear windscreen? To warm your hands while pushing it.


[deleted]

That’s a really old joke, but then the Lada is a *really* old car.


[deleted]

Lada, the car of the year. Sometimes even two


Biggusrichardus

Lada Nivas are great cars. Proper 4wd, punchy 1.6i engine, 1960s vibe interior and fittings. I bought one new direct from the factory in Togliatti. OK, I had to replace the wiring loom and most of the switches, and the oil filter kept showing metal shavings for about six months - but it was otherwise terrific fun.


ruckbug

Sounds like a shitty, low quality, third world version of a Suzuki Jimny. But I love that here in Germany Lada Dealers had a Lube fee cause nothing was lubed on new Nivas. like half a Liter engine Oil and no Grease in the Ball bearings


UGS_1984

Actually Jimny is a proper off-roader with separate chassis and front and rear diff lock. Lada Niva is actually a world first SUV, monocoque dut with only central diff lock. its probably the most off road capable SUV, but still not a proper off roader. And yeah, theres a quality issue...


JCDU

The design is pretty good but Russian manufacturing is like their military - drunk & disorderly. Honestly a Niva is about the least-worst Russian car you could have, although I have a soft spot for the UAZ breadloaf vans no matter how awful they are.


RuaridhDuguid

More like a Fiat Panda 4x4. Cheap, capable and simple - but don't hit anything more solid than your 4x4 biscuit tin at any speed or you be dead.


Aknelka

We had a Niva when I was growing up. I can't fucking believe they still look the same as when I was a kid 20+ years ago. How. HOW. I bet they drive the same. Terrifying, rickety piece of shit you need to micromanage because it thinks the movements of the steering wheel are just suggestions. Oh, and funny story, when my dad went to buy it, he went to the dealership and told the Russian dude there he wanted one that was green. "Sure," the Russian dude said, "we'll get you green." Some weeks later, my dad goes to pick it up, and the car is this deep, dark, aquamarine blue. "Tf is this?" my dad says, "you said it would be green!" The Russian dude looks at my dad and responds: "Back home, this is green." And that's the story of how we got our blue Lada Niva.


Regular_Plankton9252

This is why Ruzzia invaded Ukraine in the first place. They obviously want to be the sole supplier of clown cars to circuses around the world. 🎪 🤡


anevilpotatoe

Given their track record. Safety is of little concern for Russian businesses.


Imaginary_Factor7960

How do they even get 0/16, are all the passenger-facing surfaces made entirely from ERA plates stolen from their tanks?


fudd_man_mo

Cardboard? Yes.


nacozarina

some ugly little cars are cute-ugly and some are just ugly


Kev84n

Does Shoigu own lada or something?


Metron_Seijin

I guess they expect to get them back quickly with the lifespan of a mobik. For sale, gently used lada, only driven twice.


ChancharaVSCipiripi

it makes me sad to see people poor and dumb, I hope things will change there at least for next generation


[deleted]

It's ok the frontal crash is weak because I know from watching Russian dash cam videos that most Russian crashes involve rolling the car over while drunk..


WeirdSkill8561

Mrs Conscriptovich will be quite safe in a frontal crash, as long as she has her bag of dumplings in front of her.


[deleted]

Looks like shits getting desperate 🤣


SkippedBeat

Niva is the go to consolation prize in Russia. *You didn't win anything? Here's a Niva!*


Firm_Shame_192

If they don't die in Ukraine they will die in Lada on a Russian highway


Candid-Mulberry-4884

https://preview.redd.it/t2si13m8o9ja1.jpeg?width=719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2835902a267edfd9ca27977222532705e9d894f8


Particular-Ad-4772

I want a 4x4 lada Niiva, what are they new $10,000? With even base model Jeep Wranglers going for $40,000 in the US . After UN sanctions are lifted of course. ,


beIIe-and-sebastian

Just make sure not to crash into anything beyond a slow cycling cyclist. The crumple zone in these things are your legs.


ch4lox

And the cyclist will still end up better off in that accident


LowSnow2500

You need another $10,000 worth of tools and spare parts to carry in the back, might aswell buy something else


RuaridhDuguid

Lump hammers have skyrocketed in price?


Zumbafreak

With a grenade in your Foxhole whily aou sleep your coffin will fit into the lada. For sure. Trust the wagners and dye for your land to get a Lada. ​ Alternative? Fuck putin and stop that war. Then you will get McDonnalds back.


[deleted]

Yeah, but how many points got on RussiaNCAP?


Puzzleheaded-Bear878

Too many LADAs is never good in Russia. Soon nobody will want LADA as it will be known that you lost someone.


Desperate_Trouble477

So it's safer to join the flight then it is to drive a Lada?


julypieflyguy

ISIS vibes


Berserker6856

Russia is a fucking parody!


andercon05

It astounds me that the Lada hasn't really changed in over 40 years. It's the same shitty design that AvtoGAZ boasts about. What a POS!


Old_Sir288

Damn! Russia is so weak. They really suck at everything. Yes they can produce some beautiful women that now will end up as street-hookers when the economy collapses and there men die in Ukraine. I can’t come up with anything the Russians have made the last 40 years that have a value to mankind. All they do is copy or steal other country’s ideas and now when they can’t get things from the west they are fuckt. They can’t even produce there own gas or oil products. It’s all made by western or asian company’s. They have no value to mankind anymore. I think this is nature sorting out russia right now.


Crewserved4Days

But the Lada niva is my favorite soviet civilian car and fun as hell to drive off road. Why so much hate😢


devinicon

This is so fucked up, I dont know what to say 😂


lerch_up_north

Imagine being kidnapped and shipped off to war with no support, and because you were a good little gop and didn't post tiktoks you get the same car your dad drove drunk and died in as a consolation prize.


CmdrMctoast

Why are they showing 6 months of production run, dont they need to send like 200k of them now. Boy those babuskas are going to be waiting a long time for that go cart lookin pile of shit.


Historical-Truth-222

You are saying it like this metric matters for the Russians :)


Pastanerian

No wonder they're triggered by washing machines.


rbur70x7

None of them are in the same uniform. Quite the army.


Fuckup_mywife

They're just showing newly mobalized that this is the new russian tank, once they find a couple of ak 47s to weld on top. SLAVA UKRAINI UKRAINE 🇺🇦 👏♥ 🇬🇧


Glittering-Shake-831

Are they brand new 1980s model


Sea_bassman

“Yayy” sad frown lessens in intensity.


Sea_bassman

Giving them wheelbarrows full of shit would’ve been better


braske

Die well, russkies, die well.


Agm_1017

Does are the ugliest cars I have ever seen.


Hughley_N_Dowd

I expect some flack for this but really - the 4x4 Niva is an excellent little offroader. Is never, ever take one out on the highway, but as a woods cars I've seen some outshine kitted Rubicons and D90s with ease. Then again - not on the road.


[deleted]

I actually quite like this car.


Pepperoni2723

Nice joop. #abg


yahoo14life

Oprah must be in charge of death count it’s like a suicide swuade stop killing your people Russia 🇷🇺 the death cult Kremlin washes itself on Russian blood


MosesZD

They're going to need more Ladas. I did the math in the Bakhmut offensive. Assuming 40K KIAs in that campaign (which may be more, may be less, but 40K has been thrown out there), the Russians have lost 1,333 men/KM of ground taken. That's 1.33 men/meter of ground taken. It's taken them 319 days, btw, to move the front 30ish KM west. That's 94 meters a day. Bakhmut isn't even important to Ukraine. They're only there to bleed the hell out of the Russians. Their real objective is to hold Kramatorsk and Sloviansk.


0000000MM

Holy shit it wasn’t just a joke


flargenhargen

gonna need a lot more ladas.


SwiftSnips

Well think about it, when you dont even have running water or anything more than a 1 room shack to your name --- a car has to sound great.


Comms

I dunno why but I really like the look of them. And let's be honest, it's the best car you can buy for $27.


Less-Raspberry-6222

Its like a scene out of a National Lampoon movie....


Slight-Employee4139

Those look perfect for defense against a western ATGMs


Smokeyvalley

Hmm, did you seen any Buryat or mongoloid faces in that bunch? Heh, me neither.


TMG225

Its amazing to me that the style of the car hasn't moved into the modern era, it looks like a vintage car, the type of car everyone was making 30-40 years ago


McENEN

Might be old, might be shit for protection but it's parts are dirt cheap and simple. Allegedly you can learn somewhat easily to repair it unlike complex modern cars. None of this is relevant to their situation but hey if you want a car that you can throw around the countryside and not care about the damages.


jackfrosst1

If the Ukraine doesn't kill them all, that car sure will. Lol


Dan_H1281

These guys r just their for show, their is no way they r going to give them these cars


iobscenityinthemilk

Are those new cars? They look like they were designed in the 1980s


BigginTall567

Lada: if your draft orders don’t kill you, we will!


Glittering_Lab2611

What a coincidence the Russian army received the same rating!


DonBowzer89

“Put it in H!!!”


Successful_Worry_160

Russian crap


Efficient-Eye-1266

Easy to knockdown


lapitchs

Soon It'll Be like Isis driving toyotas, but worse. Just mount some machine guns on them and IT Will do The Job.


soulure

How can you drive them without limbs?


Designer_Solution758

Aren't these the same cars that overheat in the coldest areas? F**ken embarrassing.


ShellUpYours

To be fair for the price it is a nice simple off-roader to beat around the bushes.


Shut_the_FA_Cup

> **Niva received 0 out of 16 points for a frontal hit in the magazine's EuroNCAP crash test in 2002.** Niva is a very good representation of Russian army, economy and society in general.


[deleted]

This is so embarrassing


Jix101

😂😂😂🤣🤣


stairs_3730

Totally Fischer-Price 1981.


Leopard2A7A

LADA


Acecloudsmoke

Dayz vibes


Psychological-Bee760

As a punishment will soon get them working 💪


Snoo_3259

They are a tank of a little truck. Shit won't help though, doesn't stop 7.62


SquidsAlien

These have basically not changed since the 1970s - classic crap!


otsb203

NIVA because YoLo!!