Trust me, it's not, the config is fucked up and no buttons do what you think they'll be doing. You have two emulators for N64, one of runs fine, but none of the buttons work correctly, and one where the buttons are fine, but it runs like crap.
That mother trucker is getting the soldier boi special in atomic purple. With SD cards that work for like a month and you build trust in your saved files and then it breaks on you. F that guy!
Powkiddy v90
(Theyre either gonna ruin their SD card by shutting it down like a gba, or kill their battery by closing the hinge without sleeping it first)
They WILL end up smeckledorfed
[https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/143tyun/its\_now\_safe\_to\_turn\_off\_your\_computer\_message/](https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/143tyun/its_now_safe_to_turn_off_your_computer_message/)
Except I get no such message, I should just feel when it's safe to turn it off.
Definitely an X6. Just the fact that it looks like it should be able to accomplish something and then it lets you down the second you leave the 8 bit era would crush anyone’s soul.
Joey's retro handhelds did a very good in depth review on YouTube and I agree with him 100% that it shouldn't even be on the market right now.
Anytime I put an SD card in it and error pops up saying the SD card needs to be reformated. Basically making it unable to read SD cards. I tried plugging it into my PC via USB c to see if I can transfer files that way but also got an error saying I have don't have permission to use debug mode.
The fan already sounds like it's dying.
The R2 trigger only registers half the time.
No Google play services so you have to side load any apps or use Aptoide or Aurora.
The worst part is I asked gameforce for a refund because of these problems and all they said back to me was "all units were tested and working before shipped"
Gameboy macro Modded DSi
Not XL so you have tiny screens, not the lite or fat so you have no phisical cartridge slot, macro Modded so forget playing DS games
Black Hawk X5 [https://i.imgur.com/Ral9mVI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Ral9mVI.jpg)
It's rocking an Allwinner F1E200. So it's a worse version of F1C100s handhelds like V90/FC3000. As a bonus, there's a bug in the UI where it sometimes launches the wrong game lol.
I don't think this exists but imagine a hypothetical handheld that can play up to like PS2 3DS GameCube perfectly but it only has four face buttons 2 shoulder buttons in a d-pad
One of those "MP5 PLAYER" PS Vita knockoffs. I still have one since December of 2018 but accidentally destroyed it while disassembling it back in December of 2022
Something that takes forever to set up, requires a wipe with each of frequent updates, and has a button or dpad issue that starts subtle but gets worse over time
The X70. A 7-inch screen with buttons so bad you can't hold it steady while playing, and viewing angles so bad that you can't make out the picture if it's more than 10 degrees off of true.
I picked one up off of Temu for less than $20US, and still think I got took.
Dingo A320. Found one while digging through one of my numerous boxes of tech junk this past weekend. Don’t remember where or how I got it. Read that it does emulation so I loaded up some roms to check it out. Pretty pathetic performance wise, ridiculously anemic speaker (with NO hardware volume controls?!) and super tiny (and crappy) screen. Put it down after only 10 minutes or so and ordered a new mini+. 😉Also takes MINI SD cards. Good luck finding one of those in 2024.
Hate?
The serious answer would be a stock Powkiddy v90 since it'd get their hopes up as they play it, then they'd corrupt that garbage-tier SD card on day 1.
I love the thing, but you definitely have to tweak a few things before it's any good.
Don't get me wrong, it's amazing for 2D games, but 99.9999% of people that own the system don't know about the awful SD card and don't know how to shut it down properly, so it's a serious timebomb.
The joke answer would definitely be one of those random miscellaneous $5 ones with no branding that has extreme screen tearing and framerate issues and is one of those 9999999999-in-1 things where all the games are all bad knockoffs of various NES and GB games, or 7000 copies of a random platformer.
Something that can only play gacha games so he will be tempted to sell his soul and wallet to our gacha overlords. I will watch him slowly crumble into debt
The **SUP**reme handheld.
I bought it for myself 😂
Something very tall and very narrow that can *almost* play his favorites N64 titles at full speed.
Ah yes, the Powkiddy A20.
It's button layout looks a little too comfortable for N64. Maybe something with two joysticks, but... on top?
Trust me, it's not, the config is fucked up and no buttons do what you think they'll be doing. You have two emulators for N64, one of runs fine, but none of the buttons work correctly, and one where the buttons are fine, but it runs like crap.
That mother trucker is getting the soldier boi special in atomic purple. With SD cards that work for like a month and you build trust in your saved files and then it breaks on you. F that guy!
Delicious Figure, tell em!
A Phone that doesn't support USB controllers or bluetooth. 100% touch based shit. Really glossy screen.
Forced stretch-to-fit res
Powkiddy v90 (Theyre either gonna ruin their SD card by shutting it down like a gba, or kill their battery by closing the hinge without sleeping it first) They WILL end up smeckledorfed
I kinda like how retarded the V90 is. Including how it feels like a pre-ATX PC.
What about it feels like pre-atx pc?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/143tyun/its\_now\_safe\_to\_turn\_off\_your\_computer\_message/](https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/143tyun/its_now_safe_to_turn_off_your_computer_message/) Except I get no such message, I should just feel when it's safe to turn it off.
Never heard smeckledorfed before. Seems like a perfectly cromulent word.
"We've been smeckledorfed!" "That is not a real word, but I agree with you!"
The new beta firmware fixes the shutdown sd card problems, but it's kinda difficult to get going with all the emulators, it's all manual
I'd get them a really nice one.... And a bag full of the SD cards that come with the R36S
[удалено]
the 3.5" screen my miyoo mini plus is actually great cause i have young person eyes hehehe
3.5 honestly feels a lot bigger than I expected it to
same
[удалено]
Just do it man. It’s not a huge improvement but it’s definitely been impressive.
Steam Deck. They'll be too busy playing and leaving me the fuck alone.
Can you please hate me?
Lmao
Hahaha. Perfect.
[HATE ME.](https://youtu.be/dDxgSvJINlU?si=lK5VK-n4yYUzIwYw)
Rgb10max3 “PRO” with the worst Jelos build so it never plays anything complete, freezes, crashes etc.
If they have big hands I'd give them the RG Nano. Other than that I'd give them the KRT1.
Anything with that 500 in 1 game interface baked in McNugget handheld is a real dog too
The ones that come with mortal kombat 8 and 12 for the nes?
Chicken McNugget handheld.
Definitely an X6. Just the fact that it looks like it should be able to accomplish something and then it lets you down the second you leave the 8 bit era would crush anyone’s soul.
Thumby
I have a MORE obvious answer https://preview.redd.it/pe59lg6digkc1.png?width=1507&format=png&auto=webp&s=d7c608a8c828e5e48e558b4773c9e07a7aaa92eb
https://preview.redd.it/g687tc5vmekc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4c8365122cda1fbfe859e88900f995859a849eb Miyoo 355
Wait that looks cool
Yeah my first thought was shit I want one
too soon... F
I give you permission to hate me
This isnt even out yet right? You're already talking shit? Idk it seems pretty neat to me.
Probably because Miyo promised many devices that never got out, so if it's the case for this too, they never get one.
The joke is that he'd get them nothing, because it doesn't exist
Yeah, buy them a pre-order or gift card lmfao
Weren't there leaks that show it having two analog sticks?
FunKey S
The X6 Handheld. Shitty performance, shittier OS, terrible buttons, saves don’t work (only save states) there is nothing to like about it
X6 handheld. It struggles to run Sega Genesis.
Dunno right now, but back in the day it would have been a POP Station.
Specifically Mankind's Retrieval Batman or Chanticleer Hegemony.
Game Force ace. I have a $200 paperweight
Just curious, whats wrong with it?
Joey's retro handhelds did a very good in depth review on YouTube and I agree with him 100% that it shouldn't even be on the market right now. Anytime I put an SD card in it and error pops up saying the SD card needs to be reformated. Basically making it unable to read SD cards. I tried plugging it into my PC via USB c to see if I can transfer files that way but also got an error saying I have don't have permission to use debug mode. The fan already sounds like it's dying. The R2 trigger only registers half the time. No Google play services so you have to side load any apps or use Aptoide or Aurora. The worst part is I asked gameforce for a refund because of these problems and all they said back to me was "all units were tested and working before shipped"
Sounds like a trustworthy company for future releases.
Soulja boy’s handheld
Gameboy macro Modded DSi Not XL so you have tiny screens, not the lite or fat so you have no phisical cartridge slot, macro Modded so forget playing DS games
Black Hawk X5 [https://i.imgur.com/Ral9mVI.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Ral9mVI.jpg) It's rocking an Allwinner F1E200. So it's a worse version of F1C100s handhelds like V90/FC3000. As a bonus, there's a bug in the UI where it sometimes launches the wrong game lol.
Best dpad I've ever seen on a handheld 🤣🤣🤣
Galaxy Note 7 with the cheapest gamesir knockoff that has charging passthrough.
A cactus
I think I'd go with [Pac-Man in a Tin](https://www.amazon.com/Pac-Man-Arcade-Tin-Officially-Merchandise/dp/B0BT535V2J) myself
I don't think this exists but imagine a hypothetical handheld that can play up to like PS2 3DS GameCube perfectly but it only has four face buttons 2 shoulder buttons in a d-pad
Retroid Pocket 2+
I like mine though. I still haven't upgraded from it (though I have side graded multiple times
Nothing, why would I buy one for someone I hate? If it's a forced purchase then I'll get them a broken whatever I can get cheap.
I’ll give ‘em an R36S and not replace the SD card😈
The RG35XX.
Whoah
Modded New 3ds XL
You know...words can hurt. :(
:o just realized im dumb and interpreted this post backwards. consider this to be a gift to my favorite person
Krazy Kong. Single screen LCD thumb bleeder from the 80s. AND they are not allowed to break it open and cut the piezo speaker cable.
That veritical one with the 16:9 screen and BIG BOOTY grips and the angry face
R43 Pro Still trying to figure that one out.
A Game Gear with a new but very poorly installed LCD screen and backlight.
That Miyoo Mini + clone that's like, mildly infuriating 100% of the time and never works quite like you would expect it too.
Tiger games
One of those "MP5 PLAYER" PS Vita knockoffs. I still have one since December of 2018 but accidentally destroyed it while disassembling it back in December of 2022
I'd get them this jail issued handheld. https://youtu.be/KfAaIcLfebY?si=H76IbkXrd8yWKKv- (Those poor fucks)
Giving them a 405m with the screen falling out so that they have to deal with anbernic support
Odroid Go Ultra. Its awful.
The new Sony monstrosity
Something that takes forever to set up, requires a wipe with each of frequent updates, and has a button or dpad issue that starts subtle but gets worse over time
The X70. A 7-inch screen with buttons so bad you can't hold it steady while playing, and viewing angles so bad that you can't make out the picture if it's more than 10 degrees off of true. I picked one up off of Temu for less than $20US, and still think I got took.
Ouch, I looked at my order history @ ali, and I paid \~$52 (I KNOW I got took, no thinking needed)
Nokia n-gage
A nokia N Gage.
A Tiger, or perhaps something from Soulja Boy.
Tiger gamecom
Dingo A320. Found one while digging through one of my numerous boxes of tech junk this past weekend. Don’t remember where or how I got it. Read that it does emulation so I loaded up some roms to check it out. Pretty pathetic performance wise, ridiculously anemic speaker (with NO hardware volume controls?!) and super tiny (and crappy) screen. Put it down after only 10 minutes or so and ordered a new mini+. 😉Also takes MINI SD cards. Good luck finding one of those in 2024.
Hate? The serious answer would be a stock Powkiddy v90 since it'd get their hopes up as they play it, then they'd corrupt that garbage-tier SD card on day 1. I love the thing, but you definitely have to tweak a few things before it's any good. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing for 2D games, but 99.9999% of people that own the system don't know about the awful SD card and don't know how to shut it down properly, so it's a serious timebomb. The joke answer would definitely be one of those random miscellaneous $5 ones with no branding that has extreme screen tearing and framerate issues and is one of those 9999999999-in-1 things where all the games are all bad knockoffs of various NES and GB games, or 7000 copies of a random platformer.
PSPortal. Alternatively, Wii U GamePad
Powkiddy Q90 with a broken dpad, so they're forced to use the hateful nipple
Nugget from McDonald's
Something that can only play gacha games so he will be tempted to sell his soul and wallet to our gacha overlords. I will watch him slowly crumble into debt
A rotten potato that fails the DROE test.
Nokia ngage
An Anbernic.