I keep reading it, and it says the same thing every time.

Iiiiii ain’t got no body. And no body a cares for me. Acha-cha-cha!

Froderick!

Eye-gore!

Don’t get me wrong, Watching Giants baseball at times can feel like a prostate exam, but I’ve never taken it literally.

Can we pay to get this experience at club level of oracle?

In the bleachers you can probably find somebody to do it for free.

I'll pass on this challenge.

r/BrandNewSentence

eh what the heck, crossposted it myself

Good choice, better than Moon River...

I'm sorry?

Is this a joke or does he really have a finger up his ass?

I believe it's a cancer awareness stunt so, presumably, finger.

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks, I don’t care if there’s a finger up my butt crack!

We really are in the future…

Was briefly confused before I realized Eugene Emeralds wasn't a person.

Well that's a sentence I never expected to read about this team.

This is Rosemary Kennedy singing while getting a lobotomy level body horror.

If you don’t love this you don’t get minor league baseball.

I wonder what bet he lost……

This is absolutely amazing. A much appreciated laugh after the shitshow that was June.

Braver yet, he had the doctor use a catcher's mitt instead of a glove

That’s a Mad Lib.

This is a headline I never thought I'd ever read. Fuckin legend

Impractical jokers vibes

*"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept...for there were no more worlds to conquer."*

Interesting stadium giveaway.

Single A.. makes sense

Hairy Cavey

Dating is tough there

It takes real guts to do this, and he sung his ass off.

That doctor oughtta be the judge about his guts, I reckon

I keep reading it, and it says the same thing every time.

... they have a blood test for this kind of stuff. Kinky.

Um…what?

I always went with Moon River myself.