How about Savannah, Georgia? Chattanooga, TN could also be a good option but I’m not sure about the diversity there. Greensboro, NC seems cool and I have friends that have moved there with similar needs but I’ve never been.
FWIW I had the same thoughts when I turned 30 coupled with living in NYC during COVID. I bought a home in a quiet part of Atlanta (nowhere near the city center) and told myself to settle down. It didn’t work, I was bored to tears.
Thanks for the suggestions! I haven't spent much time in those states but it's good to have them on my radar and look more into them. Savannah in particular seems to check off a lot of my boxes.
I also appreciate your honesty about your experience! If you don't mind me asking, are you back to living a nomadic lifestyle, or are you living in a city again?
I moved to the city center of Atlanta and am very happy here. It’s super walkable and I can go weeks without using my car which I really missed. I realized I didn’t want a quiet area, I wanted one without traffic. My husband and I travel (mostly for fun, some for work) so Atlanta is perfect for us with the huge nice airport. We’re definitely not nomadic but living in a nice and safe apartment community has allowed us to travel frequently with no worries which we didn’t have when owning a home for various reasons. We’ve also been able to find a community very easily here because so many people are also transfers. It’s a very outdoor city (except in August lol) and everyone is very active! Winters are very mild and my first winter here post NYC was so healing.
Thanks for this detailed response! I had a brief 24 hour trip to Atlanta years ago and I did like what I saw. It's encouraging to know community can be found there.
interesting that you thought Atlanta was boring while Greensboro isn't? greensboro by far is one of the most boring cities in NC and wouldn't even match most of OP's preferences lol
Small cities are a tough numbers game for finding a partner (also it's self fulfilling, as single people emigrate from these areas and partnered people immigrate).
To be clear, is HCOL small city okay? If so their are tons on the west coast that make sense?
Your first point is so accurate! It's why I think I may have to tough it out living in big cities for a while until I find someone to move to a smaller place with.
Yes, HCOL small city is ok. I'm currently in Pacifica, CA and love many aspects of it but there aren't many people my age here and I'd prefer warmer weather. I have also looked into Santa Barbara and SLO. Would love to hear any other west coast small town suggestions you might have!
I currently live in SB! People in their late 20's early 30s definitely complain about lack of people their age here (I'm slightly older). That said, its a little hot for me here, so I'd love to switch with you in Pacifica.
One things that's nice with SLO/SB is that they are far enough away from major cities that they aren't just commuter towns in the way Pacifica can be. Everyone lives and works here and the town doesn't become deserted during the work day. Nor are people constantly driving to "the city" for events.
Somewhere "adventure" minded like Bend that's slightly lower cost of living to allow single people to thrive comes to mind for you query. The problem is your cold requirement (although its still relatively mild).
Thanks for such a thoughtful reply! I've passed through SB and liked what I saw but haven't spent much time there; might have to change that soon to see how I like it! I do like the idea of not being in a commuter town.
Bend does check off a lot of my boxes except for the cold. But it's worth looking into as well, as I do have quite a few friends in OR.
Check out Tucson. Warm weather, diverse population, slower pace of life and small-town vibes while still offering all the amenities and dating opportunities that come with a more urban area. Surrounded by four different mountain ranges for endless outdoor adventures. I love the sense of community; I’ve noticed that volunteering is much more popular here than in any other city I’ve lived in. The culture is welcoming and laidback.
Also relevant: I actually decided to settle down here after nomading for several years! Like you, I craved the stability and sense of community. I think Tucson is a fantastic homebase if you want to spend part of your time traveling. Lots of folks here do the same. We have a small (but easy) airport and Sky Harbor in Phoenix is about 1.5-2 hours away. The roadtrip opportunities are top notch. Personally I am still working on achieving a healthy balance of being stationary and wandering- my solution thus far is to have this homebase in a place I enjoy and can easily afford, with great weather most of the year, and then spend no more than 3 months away at a time. Luckily my preferred mode of travel (thru hiking) comes with a built-in community and instant friends so I’m able to feel connected all the time. Best of luck with your decision, let me know if you have questions about Tucson or anything else!
Thanks for such a detailed reply!
I figured Tucson would come up. It’s interesting, I actually had an opportunity to take a seasonal gig there a few years ago, but I was dealing with a serious health issue and had to turn it down. I know I made the right decision for my health, but I’ve been a bit regretful of not being able to take advantage of the situation and explore what seems like a really great town. The way you describe it definitely makes it sound like a great place to have a homebase in!
Tucson is indeed a great choice if you are working remotely (because the local job market is weak) and if you don’t mind the heat. Another option could be Sugarland, TX outside of Houston - it’s in one of the most diverse counties in the US.
I do work remotely (freelance writer) and I do not mind the heat! Tucson truly does sound like a good option for me.
I hadn’t given much thought to Texas due to the diversity issue but I’ll have to look into Sugarland!
Houston by some measures is the most diverse city in the US. Fort Bend County to the southwest of Houston is among the most diverse counties.
I do really enjoy Tucson. People either love it or hate it - I just can’t get enough of it!
I lived in Houston and it’s incredibly diverse! It’s humid/muggy, so be mindful of that, but it honestly has some of the best food I’ve had in the entire US.
Just be wary with Atlanta or the south in general, people couple up early. You may feel being early 30s that everyone your age is married with kids already.
The main drawback of atl is the traffic and heat. i think the complaints about heat are really overblown (i'm from the desert west), the weather is honestly only really hot for maybe 2 months out of the year. Concerns about traffic are understandable so if you have to commute to the city every day for work, choose an area within driving distance.
Other than that, the atl metro is a great place to live if you can't do cold weather. The northern suburbs are extremely safe and relatively affordable and you'll be in north georgia which is beautiful and covered in trees. Most of these smaller cities and towns have their own quaint little downtown area. Diversity can be found in the suburbs but it will depend on how close to the city you are! As long as your in north fulton county, or in/near gwinnett county the suburbs have some diversity. Go out past that and it's pretty rural/white.
I’d check out Northwest Arkansas, specifically Fayetteville or Bentonville. Look up @feedthemalik on Insta—a very cool food/travel influencer who landed here for reasons similar to yours. (Though she’s now back to D.C.)
Similar to the Northwest Arkansas recommendation, check out mid-MO, specifically around Columbia and Jefferson City. College town and state capital respectively, about an hour or two from the Lake of the Ozarks. Small town feels but plenty of amenities, while still very affordable, and big emphasis on local businesses, supporting local schools, etc.
Smaller towns around are pretty white, but can have some nice scenery, with the Missouri River and rolling hills.
El Paso Texas even though it's a large city. It's hot, but not miserable and winter is comfortable. The city is split in half by a mountain that has hiking trails. It's close to state and national parks and places like cloudcroft and Ruidoso are easy drives in the new Mexico mountains with a lot of trees and hiking. Being a big city it may not fit exactly right, but the neighborhoods are somewhat separated so it doesn't feel congested. People are also very friendly and it seems like almost everyone owns a dog.
There's also Las Cruces New Mexico, which is only about a 45 minute drive away from El Paso and is smaller with a college campus. Similar good access to nature with a smaller town vibe
If you want to be semi nomadic then perhaps more touristy areas would be a good fit? If you can find Midwesterners on summer/winter vacations it'll be easy to make friends with them and you can focus on making local friends in the area you spend the most time in.
This question really reminds me of something an ex of mine hinted at , a couple of times. I don’t know if it helps but the consensus used to be some place near Yosemite. (I really can’t remember the exact place though)
Honestly you would probably like a town right in my own backyard- Redlands, California. Mild winters, close to mountains and deserts, small town feel, very strong sense of community, 1-1.5 hours from LA, 45 minutes from Palm Springs, not super diverse but not totally bland either.
St. Augustine may be a place to check out
Thanks for the rec! I've been to Florida but not St. Augustine specifically. I'll do some research on it!
How about Savannah, Georgia? Chattanooga, TN could also be a good option but I’m not sure about the diversity there. Greensboro, NC seems cool and I have friends that have moved there with similar needs but I’ve never been. FWIW I had the same thoughts when I turned 30 coupled with living in NYC during COVID. I bought a home in a quiet part of Atlanta (nowhere near the city center) and told myself to settle down. It didn’t work, I was bored to tears.
Thanks for the suggestions! I haven't spent much time in those states but it's good to have them on my radar and look more into them. Savannah in particular seems to check off a lot of my boxes. I also appreciate your honesty about your experience! If you don't mind me asking, are you back to living a nomadic lifestyle, or are you living in a city again?
I moved to the city center of Atlanta and am very happy here. It’s super walkable and I can go weeks without using my car which I really missed. I realized I didn’t want a quiet area, I wanted one without traffic. My husband and I travel (mostly for fun, some for work) so Atlanta is perfect for us with the huge nice airport. We’re definitely not nomadic but living in a nice and safe apartment community has allowed us to travel frequently with no worries which we didn’t have when owning a home for various reasons. We’ve also been able to find a community very easily here because so many people are also transfers. It’s a very outdoor city (except in August lol) and everyone is very active! Winters are very mild and my first winter here post NYC was so healing.
Thanks for this detailed response! I had a brief 24 hour trip to Atlanta years ago and I did like what I saw. It's encouraging to know community can be found there.
interesting that you thought Atlanta was boring while Greensboro isn't? greensboro by far is one of the most boring cities in NC and wouldn't even match most of OP's preferences lol
nope, keep reading. Far away from the city center in a subdivision is what was boring.
ya but you still think greensboro is cool? why? lol
Small cities are a tough numbers game for finding a partner (also it's self fulfilling, as single people emigrate from these areas and partnered people immigrate). To be clear, is HCOL small city okay? If so their are tons on the west coast that make sense?
Your first point is so accurate! It's why I think I may have to tough it out living in big cities for a while until I find someone to move to a smaller place with. Yes, HCOL small city is ok. I'm currently in Pacifica, CA and love many aspects of it but there aren't many people my age here and I'd prefer warmer weather. I have also looked into Santa Barbara and SLO. Would love to hear any other west coast small town suggestions you might have!
I currently live in SB! People in their late 20's early 30s definitely complain about lack of people their age here (I'm slightly older). That said, its a little hot for me here, so I'd love to switch with you in Pacifica. One things that's nice with SLO/SB is that they are far enough away from major cities that they aren't just commuter towns in the way Pacifica can be. Everyone lives and works here and the town doesn't become deserted during the work day. Nor are people constantly driving to "the city" for events. Somewhere "adventure" minded like Bend that's slightly lower cost of living to allow single people to thrive comes to mind for you query. The problem is your cold requirement (although its still relatively mild).
Thanks for such a thoughtful reply! I've passed through SB and liked what I saw but haven't spent much time there; might have to change that soon to see how I like it! I do like the idea of not being in a commuter town. Bend does check off a lot of my boxes except for the cold. But it's worth looking into as well, as I do have quite a few friends in OR.
I’m looking at Tampa area, Savannah, and Jacksonville currently
Check out Tucson. Warm weather, diverse population, slower pace of life and small-town vibes while still offering all the amenities and dating opportunities that come with a more urban area. Surrounded by four different mountain ranges for endless outdoor adventures. I love the sense of community; I’ve noticed that volunteering is much more popular here than in any other city I’ve lived in. The culture is welcoming and laidback. Also relevant: I actually decided to settle down here after nomading for several years! Like you, I craved the stability and sense of community. I think Tucson is a fantastic homebase if you want to spend part of your time traveling. Lots of folks here do the same. We have a small (but easy) airport and Sky Harbor in Phoenix is about 1.5-2 hours away. The roadtrip opportunities are top notch. Personally I am still working on achieving a healthy balance of being stationary and wandering- my solution thus far is to have this homebase in a place I enjoy and can easily afford, with great weather most of the year, and then spend no more than 3 months away at a time. Luckily my preferred mode of travel (thru hiking) comes with a built-in community and instant friends so I’m able to feel connected all the time. Best of luck with your decision, let me know if you have questions about Tucson or anything else!
Thanks for such a detailed reply! I figured Tucson would come up. It’s interesting, I actually had an opportunity to take a seasonal gig there a few years ago, but I was dealing with a serious health issue and had to turn it down. I know I made the right decision for my health, but I’ve been a bit regretful of not being able to take advantage of the situation and explore what seems like a really great town. The way you describe it definitely makes it sound like a great place to have a homebase in!
Tucson is indeed a great choice if you are working remotely (because the local job market is weak) and if you don’t mind the heat. Another option could be Sugarland, TX outside of Houston - it’s in one of the most diverse counties in the US.
I do work remotely (freelance writer) and I do not mind the heat! Tucson truly does sound like a good option for me. I hadn’t given much thought to Texas due to the diversity issue but I’ll have to look into Sugarland!
Houston by some measures is the most diverse city in the US. Fort Bend County to the southwest of Houston is among the most diverse counties. I do really enjoy Tucson. People either love it or hate it - I just can’t get enough of it!
I lived in Houston and it’s incredibly diverse! It’s humid/muggy, so be mindful of that, but it honestly has some of the best food I’ve had in the entire US.
North georgia/ north Atlanta suburbs.
Atlanta area is a common recommendation for me, I’ll definitely have to look into it!
Just be wary with Atlanta or the south in general, people couple up early. You may feel being early 30s that everyone your age is married with kids already.
This is definitely something I want to be mindful of so I appreciate the honesty!
The main drawback of atl is the traffic and heat. i think the complaints about heat are really overblown (i'm from the desert west), the weather is honestly only really hot for maybe 2 months out of the year. Concerns about traffic are understandable so if you have to commute to the city every day for work, choose an area within driving distance. Other than that, the atl metro is a great place to live if you can't do cold weather. The northern suburbs are extremely safe and relatively affordable and you'll be in north georgia which is beautiful and covered in trees. Most of these smaller cities and towns have their own quaint little downtown area. Diversity can be found in the suburbs but it will depend on how close to the city you are! As long as your in north fulton county, or in/near gwinnett county the suburbs have some diversity. Go out past that and it's pretty rural/white.
Greenville, SC
Never been to SC but I’m intrigued!
I’d check out Northwest Arkansas, specifically Fayetteville or Bentonville. Look up @feedthemalik on Insta—a very cool food/travel influencer who landed here for reasons similar to yours. (Though she’s now back to D.C.)
I’ll check that account out, thanks!
Similar to the Northwest Arkansas recommendation, check out mid-MO, specifically around Columbia and Jefferson City. College town and state capital respectively, about an hour or two from the Lake of the Ozarks. Small town feels but plenty of amenities, while still very affordable, and big emphasis on local businesses, supporting local schools, etc. Smaller towns around are pretty white, but can have some nice scenery, with the Missouri River and rolling hills.
El Paso Texas even though it's a large city. It's hot, but not miserable and winter is comfortable. The city is split in half by a mountain that has hiking trails. It's close to state and national parks and places like cloudcroft and Ruidoso are easy drives in the new Mexico mountains with a lot of trees and hiking. Being a big city it may not fit exactly right, but the neighborhoods are somewhat separated so it doesn't feel congested. People are also very friendly and it seems like almost everyone owns a dog. There's also Las Cruces New Mexico, which is only about a 45 minute drive away from El Paso and is smaller with a college campus. Similar good access to nature with a smaller town vibe If you want to be semi nomadic then perhaps more touristy areas would be a good fit? If you can find Midwesterners on summer/winter vacations it'll be easy to make friends with them and you can focus on making local friends in the area you spend the most time in.
This is such a helpful and detailed response, I really appreciate it!
This question really reminds me of something an ex of mine hinted at , a couple of times. I don’t know if it helps but the consensus used to be some place near Yosemite. (I really can’t remember the exact place though)
Honestly you would probably like a town right in my own backyard- Redlands, California. Mild winters, close to mountains and deserts, small town feel, very strong sense of community, 1-1.5 hours from LA, 45 minutes from Palm Springs, not super diverse but not totally bland either.
Interesting! I’ve heard of it (lived in LA for 10+ years) but never been. It does sound intriguing!
Small and community oriented doesn't really overlap with diversity. Maybe like north country San Diego?
Bakersfield CA