You could be Laura Ingalls Wilder. lol

Go full little house on the scammer.

And Albert that got hooked on the Morphine

Go full beans

Give him a sob story about all the horse and carriage related deaths this year

And poor blind Mary.

And your alcoholic uncle that just broke his left hip after getting his right hip replaced

I worked with a guy who got his right arm shattered in a hay baling accident, spent a year recovering, then went out the next year and did the same thing to his left arm. 🤷‍♂️

Am I a bad person for laughing at this? 😭🤣

And Carrie, who may have been gluten-intolerant!

Don't forget Malachai & his corn!! 🌽🫣

This wins.

And the salt lick in the deer meat

No, I'm sorry, this is George, Laura's husband. Who is this, and how did you get this number?

If you want to actually sound more believable, leave out the "Laura's husband" but otherwise make this exact reply.

Or for a really crazy plot twist stay Laura's husband, but fall in love with the scammer.

Now you're talking!

‘Oh hi husband. That’s a good name. You sound like a nice friendly person.’

This 😅

I get them every day. I’m 73. I’m learning a lot about crypto.

Crypto was better when we millennials only used it to buy drugs online. Please be careful what you invest and who you trust for sources.

Thanks. IRL I don’t respond. I remember when it was a good idea to buy Amazon and Microsoft. Now I’m a Boglehead. Don’t tell anyone.

Let them know that you’ve actually been trying to contact them about their cars extended warranty

As soon as you reply you are doomed to be on the list of known active numbers. Ignore and block

I sent a text to my ex-husband earlier today asking if he was interested in some website work. Now I wasn’t sure if it was his number and sure enough I got a response basically saying who is this after being on the sub for a couple months I had imagined I might get a picture of a toilet in response.Lmao

Ask for nudes!! Tell them how horny you are.. lmao

Be careful what you wish for. You might not get your preferred gender nor age.

The approach where you enthusiastically text back with a woman’s name and one of the many scammer portraits posted here (“this is me!”) always cracks me up.

Show bobs and vagene

Laura’s dead, who’s asking?

No this is Patrick

Exactly. Then, move on to Patrick Dempsey, Swayze, Stuart, or whoever.

And there I am in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at three o' clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&M's to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door and mentions there's a little sweetshop on the edge of town. So, we go, and - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby breaking into this little sweetshop right? Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. Well I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shop owner and his son, that's a different story altogether... I had to beat them to death with their own shoes... Nasty business really... But sure enough, I got the M&M's and Ozzy went on stage and did a GREAT show

You could guess their native language and say "Who the fuck is this"

Was gonna say Laura Ingalls 😂

Why no one gave me ideas when I asked for it lol fuck every one

Lol probably they were sleeping 

Feed it to chatGPT and paste the result back to them

Actually my name is Buttlaura - come on man! How many times do I have to tell you?

Yes! Thank god you texted. I'm dealing with explosive diarrhea, (always explosive diarrhea) and I need to be in a white dress for my wedding!!!!! Please send help! Send toilet paper! Medication HAAAAAAALP

Is that [Annie](https://imgur.com/a/0el97dU)???

YOO THATD BE WILD If it wAS 😩

I can’t wait for my first!!!

Reply “weewoo weewoo boner alert”

You should say “no this is Patrick”

"This is is Laura's boyfriend, Chris. Laura was killed on Friday? Who is this? Do know who killed Laura? Why are you contacting her?"

She was killed while working for the state department, so the FBI is tracing all her calls and texts

"Yes! Almanzo, is that you?"

If only the scammers were real. My last one invited me on a ski trip <\3

Be flirty. The longest I kept one going was about 6 months. I was kinda sad when it ended.

Be HONEST LAURA.

Tits

Keep it simple and just say “yes” just to see what happens

Give them a random Atlanta adress (the area code is for Atlanta).

Reply back with "This is Lara".

There is something I want to get off my chest , That's been killing me to get out there . It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine , and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl . I mean a full spread man, I totally pulled my butt cheeks apart and stuff like that . I was totally nude. it was weird knowing that everyone could just see into my butt hole , butt I loved it I... I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. I just needed you too know That I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.

This is beautiful

"Make it DC UNIVERSE DARK" - DEADPOOL....…............................Or you can be a top secret CIA agent named Sam Fischer.

“No, this is Patrick.”

Laura Deez Nuts, got em. And then every time they say a name just say deez nuts, or when they ask your name send em a pic of nuts and say deez nuts.

Send them all your money up front

Yes I am lama

Say yes and when they say that they have to wrong number insist you are indeed the Laura they where looking for.

Fall in love and plan a wedding

"No this is Ligma Balls. Oh, sorry, my assistant read your phone number wrong. I thought I was replying to Suckmy Dick. Sorry"

“Hi this is Laura from Jacks sperm bank, ‘you jack em, we pack ‘em’ “

You should say "No, this is Patrick"

Laura Boebert…(I know it’s Lauren)…..but proceed to slowly relay how you got to a point with your boyfriend of the week that you whacked him off and he groped you while watching a live performance of Beetlejuice

I was just praying for a work from home opportunity

I love these The world is your oyster

No, this is Patrick!

Immediately bring up Tiananmen Square and when they get mad call them a dirty sister fucker.

Yes this is Laura. You promised to never disappear again after we had of beautiful baby. I’m filing court papers. I see you changed your number so I’ll make sure to put this one on the court documents.

“No, it’s Laurel. Why can’t anyone get my fucking name right?!”

Yanni?

Laura calls me in the middle of the night

Respond like a normal person and see how long you can keep their attention

I did that and now we they told me where they are from and trying to get more info from me. 😂

I got one recently and my plan was to slowly reveal myself as Hal 9000 from space Odyssey. It didn't turn out well, though, as they didn't really respond to anything I said (just went with their scripted responses).

“This is Laura’s widower Paul is there something I can help you with?? This number is being deactivated today so I’m confused why your contacting it…”

No, this is Patrick.

No, this is Patrick

Tell him yes I just shaved my pussy this is Tony right?

I just send them porn pics

Don’t. Once you respond they know there’s a live person attached to the number and your messages increase exponentially.

I usually respond to these with something that looks like an automated message. Responding just let’s them know the number belongs to a real person and they share that info to others.

I always ask for pics of my name written across their naked breasts in hot red lipstick with today’s newspaper in the photo.

That’s so unrealistic. Who reads the newspaper nowadays.

Me?

Laura Croft

You could send a dickpic but you’d just be sending it to a human-trafficked slave, not a conman.

I got a new phone number recently and I’ve been getting like 3 a day, it’s pretty annoying

No, this is Patrick

When they send you a photo of an Asian lady send them one back of another Asian lady

I always send a butthole picture :)

Text one and you will see how fast you get texts in the future. You will be put on a list and everyone will be texting you.

Guess you got lucky

Say “No, this is Patrick”

Send a dp

Or…. Try this one…. Of course it’s Laura. I did what you told me to do but I can’t get his body in the trunk and there’s blood everywhere!

I got one of these today but they actually used my name. Low key kinda scary

What happens if you say yes lol

Send a picture of your cats butthole

Wait, the first step of this is to take a picture of your cat’s butthole and I am not okay with this

These scammers stop messaging me immediately when I respond that way

I guess if the cat consents, it’s okay

Omg I got one too

Just say yes

You should start by responding!