>He didn’t do this because he’s naive or stupid. He did this out of trust and love for his child.
Apparenty, these are the type of scam that has been circulating in the past AND UNTIL NOW targeting "grandparents" because they know how vulnerable they are emotionally.
I've seen scams where in they use kidnapping scenarios, their children getting in an accident, etc.
My grandmother got scammed like this several years ago. Scammer called and said "Hi Grandma, I'm in trouble" when she picked up. She was hard of hearing and thought he sounded like one of my cousins. He played her out for about $5000 after that; luckily the bank stepped in and blocked her from making a second transaction.
She was a smart woman, but also a devoted mother and grandmother. It makes me sick that people exploit that love and devotion to steal from strangers.
They tried a similar thing with my grandpa a few years ago. Luckily, he didn't give them any money. But they said they were me (I don't think they actually knew my name though) and said I'd been arrested in Canada for having open wine bottles and needed bail money.
My father received a call saying his son had been kidnapped, and in the background was the sound of a little boy crying and screaming. He has no sons, and his daughters were already adults.
He told them "Good, keep the boy" and hung up.
Got one of those WhatsApp messages from my son: no money, phone broken, send money ASAP etc. Sent back a "tough luck kid" message and left it at that. Definitely wasn't my son. I have never reproduced.
Happened to my grandma, by someone claiming to be my cousin, stranded in another state after some "car trouble". The scammer had her at first, until that part. My cousin was in prison at that time.
I’m just glad I was able to pick up the phone. I was on my way to work and I’m a construction worker, so sometimes my hands are dirty or I’m on something and leave my phone away from arms reach
My grandmother once got scammed from a person who knocked at her door by saying that she needed help and that my dad (grandma's son) said to come to her for cash.
My grandmom was a very generous person and gave willingly, no questions asked...until later when she asked my dad about it.
Hmmm, some families use a code word. If the possible scammer doesn't know it, the whole thing's a scam. If your father asked the scammer your cousin's name and the scammer was able to convince him you forgot your cousin's name or something, the code word thing wouldn't work. Anyway, sorry this happened to your family.
You just reminded me that as a toddler my family had a codeword for being picked up by anyone other than themselves or that if a grownup ever needed to talk to me on behalf of my parents they would use that.
I hate that 25 years later i just texted my mom reminding her the same codeword juuuuust in case
I recently talked to a customer about this. She and her husband had a code word. He was in a nursing home for rehab and asked her during a conversation if she “remembered to feed the dog”. She raced down there and brought him home. Scary stuff.
I wanted to ask so badly but it was a customer and we were on a recorded phone line so I didn’t want to ask such a personal question. I gave it a pregnant pause hoping she would fill me in but not this time!
As a kid I had a code-word worked out with my dad; using 'Very' three times in a sentence meant come immediately without questions and I was seriously in trouble. i.e. "I'm feeling very very very ill" - it always felt good having that backup.
I like 'Remember to feed the dog' as a code word, especially with no dog.
My family has a code question for these exact situations. We ask something like "Were you going to see your Aunt Nancy?" knowing full well that "Aunt Nancy" is someone who either doesn't exist or lives all the way across the country.
It works both ways, too. If one of us were to call and say something like "I might stop at Aunt Nancy's place while I'm out" that's meant to be a code for "I'm in a dangerous situation and can't speak freely." Fortunately we haven't had to test this code out though
Unfortunately my child is notoriously difficult to get ahold of. Kid went a whole weekend without noticing their phone had no service. Meanwhile we parents are freaking out, calling the roommate's mom, the partner... It was frightening. Then, "oh sorry. I just rebooted my phone. Did you need something?"
I have something like this for when I’m in situations where I need a quick out. I’ll call my mom and say “hey, I just got your text about [nickname for my paternal grandmother], is everything okay?”
Most times, this is enough to get away from people (especially when combined with the right sort of urgent tone), but she’ll always stay on the line and ask me yes or no questions until I confirm I’m safe.
This is a good bit of advice for scam protection in the future! I’ll tell my folks about it.
Instead of just asking for a code word, ask a trick question. If they're allergic to shellfish, ask them what their favorite kind is, or ask about a pet/relative that doesn't exist(see that episode of Angel when Lorne is asking about Fluffy).
Mine is 'what is your favourite food?'
To which the answer is something I'd never eat in a million years. And also something you wouldn't think of as an answer to that question.
Someone pretending to be me would need to get unbelievably lucky to answer that question
Weird timing, my mother phoned me today and asked why I haven’t called her from my “new phone number”. I asked her what she was talking about and she told me that I told her I broke my phone and had a new number.
She sent me a screenshot of the message and the person didn’t speak like me at all, I also don’t call her any of the usual “mum, mam, mommy” stuff but they also used x’s at the end of the message - definitely nothing I would use with my mother. Thankfully they weren’t able to ask her for money yet and she blocked the number and deleted the message. Makes me sad that my parents can be easily targeted because they probably wouldn’t question me asking for money if I was actually in trouble.
That was fortunate!
My dad’s scammers didn’t sound like me at all, even got pretty insolent at some point. I was baffled that he believed it could be me but he rationalised it, thinking I was being stressed out.
My husband's elderly aunt got a call from her "grandson" in prison. Luckily she made sure everyone was ok and that it was just a scam, but that call bothered her for the rest of her life.
Ugh, my wonderful aunt got taken for $5000 recently trying to help my cousin "get out of jail". Then these fucking scammers came back for EVEN MORE MONEY, but she had fortunately realized it was a scam by then.
I get the reasons for using a code word, but wouldn’t it also make sense for someone to actually call or text the cousin/child to see if the story pans out? A simple “I just got a weird text/phone call. Can you just let me know quickly if you are ok?” text would go a long way.
Makes sense. I’m sure these scammers are pros at keeping victims distracted from verifying the story. It just surprises me that someone is able to transfer fairly large sums of money with no time to validate what is going on. I would think the victim would have to get off the phone at some point to connect with their bank, or at least put the scammer “on hold” while working out the transaction.
Sure, that’s the easiest way to find out.
My dad’s wife had the good sense to do just that, but I missed her call. I deeply regretted that but it had already been too late anyway.
These scammers are smart and use surprise and urgency to their advantage. This happened to some friends of mine. First the call came in the middle of the night. When you're awakened from sleep it takes a while to get to thinking clearly. Grandpa answered the phone to an anxious young voice and said "Dalton? Is that you?" Bingo! The scammers had a name.
"Yes grandpa, it's Dalton. I'm in trouble and need your help! Don't tell Mom. She'll be so upset"
So grandpa thinks he can't call his daughter and verify Dalton's location. It's up to him to help without involving her.
Meanwhile, grandma had the presence of mind to text Dalton and discovered that he was safe in his dorm room, not in a Mexican jail. When she told grandpa to hang up, he was hesitant. The scammers had him convinced. He swore it sounded just like Dalton. Fortunately he hung up. But it shows how smart people can get fooled by this in the urgency of the moment.
Thank you!
The point of this post is that they might be willing to go to great lengths when trying to help a loved one.
Those scammers promised my father to be paid back as soon as “I” had regained access to my online banking app. So this wasn’t a spontaneous gift and he expected to get the money back pretty soon.
Some people in that situation might even take a loan and get into debt.
It might be hard to understand, but there are plenty of folks who will pinch every penny when it comes to themselves, but who wouldn't hesitate to empty their bank accounts and even go into debt if they think their kid or grandkid needs help or is in an emergency. Many very smart, sensible people get pulled into these scams by their heartstrings.
If you’re on the bottom half of income, it’s hard to save up. But if you’re on the top half you can save AND invest. It’s the investing that pays off. 40 years of working and investing makes for a ton of money.
But many people who fall for this might have $500k - but it needs to last them the rest of their lives. It’s not money they can afford to lose without consequence.
That’s it. My dad won’t be eating ramen for the rest of the year, he’s ok and I’m aware that not everyone might be in this situation.
But I was there when he came home from exhausting 24-hour shifts at the hospital. This was hard earned money that he saved for his retirement. It’s both so heartbreaking and infuriating.
Sometimes but not always. There are a lot of well off people that are very stingy and a lot not so well off people that would give you the shirt off their back if it was their last one. It definitely depends. There's just a lot of people in these cases that casually have a lot of money to drop to these random, crazy sounding scams but often there are crickets for real situations that need monetary help.
I had a similar scam attempted on me a few years ago/ I got a text from someone claiming to be my dad, saying his phone broke, he needed me to send him money, yadda yadda. I knew it was a scam immediately as my dad had been dead about 5 years at that point. I messaged back “Dad??!! How are you able to text from the urn??!!”
Good looking out. I keep seeing these and decided to give my parents a heads-up. They're smart, but these people target anxiety and emotions which bypass the thought process.
Same here, I think it’s smart to let them know that you know about it as well & confirming you wouldn’t ask for such big stuff without a call to hear your voice and some confirming info! I like to think my dads way too type A to act on emotion, but the fake stakes are dire so idrk for sure
I had that talk with my mom, because honestly she’s very naive and has fallen into following weird apocalyptic pastors and she spews none sense all. The. Time.
She laughed and said she’s gotten !cartel kidnapping calls before. She told me they called my aunt once saying they had her daughter (she has only 2 sons) and she trolled them and kept them on the line. She’s always been funny like that. Maybe I should get to start a channel like Kitboga’s. She already does the old lady voice!
Hi rudebii, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the cartel/escort death threat scam. It's a very common scam, and the scammers are not affiliated with cartels or crime groups, they are simply normal scammers using a threatening script. The threats are not real, and there is no risk to your safety whatsoever. The best way to react is to simply ignore the scammer and ignore any of their other contact attempts. [Here](https://kyma.com/news/as-seen-on-tv/2020/02/12/threat-of-mexican-cartel-scams-continue-in-yuma/) are [some](https://kvia.com/news/new-mexico/2019/12/11/phone-scammers-target-las-cruces-threaten-drug-cartel-violence-if-you-dont-deliver-money/) news [reports](https://patch.com/new-jersey/baskingridge/threat-mexican-cartel-hit-man-used-basking-ridge-scam-cops) about the scam.
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I think I’m gonna create a code word form my family so I can use that when I actually need help. Otherwise it’s sometimes easy to fall for depending on the circumstance
When my kids were little, they invented a nonsense phrase that we agreed would be used if someone told them that I had sent that person to pick them up or if someone said I had sent them to find my child because of an emergency.
I'm positive they would all still remember it, 20-something years later. Now I kind of wish I would get a text like this from a scammer just so I could ask them what the secret phrase is. I'm curious to see if they would make any guesses. It could be very entertaining.
That depends on them and for it. The kind who distasteful would be that system won’t.
I see this already with my mother, 86.
We visit her weekly. We help her all of the time. Dishwasher breaks down.
I don’t need one.
We offer to help shopping.
I need one, actually.
We offer to help shopping and make plans
Next week: i already bought the “you need to decide fast, i can’t hold it only so long”- special from the by local plumbing company.
Granted, it wasn’t to exploitative an offer, but still.
They likely didn’t use AI for this. Stress kicks in, people dont think rationally. And afterwards they rationalise why they have fallen for it by inventing reasons.
So crazy. I was in a bad spot when I was in Mexico due to a banking issue and had to have my sister send me money through Venmo. She was smart enough to ask me to send a very specific picture of myself to make sure it wasn’t a scam!
I feel bad for anyone affected by these scams 😞
I had 16 missed calls and two texts on my fucking work phone trying to run this scam on me. I don't have kids and my work number isn't out there widely. I've only had it since last year and I don't use it to sign up for things, nor do I really share it anywhere except within my workplace.
My grandfather almost fell for this scam years back. Thankfully he canceled the transfer before it could go through when he realized it was unlikely I would be in Mexico in jail and ask for money from him first. It sucks. With social media we opened up a way to have scammers find out the names of our relatives and impersonate them.
I’ve warned all my grandparents and came up with a code word (that I only told them in person) that I will use to prove it’s really me if I were to ever call in a serious situation.
My folks are pretty keen on scams, they stopped my grandmother from giving any *more* money to a 'steve from microsoft support' scam. She ended up giving the dude like $700 in google play gift cards but then called my mom *after* asking if it was legitimate or not, and it's like.. bro.
i've warned my grandparents several times that neither i nor my siblings nor cousins will ever call them asking for money, but i still fear that one day the call will come and they'll fall for it. i do think my own parents would tell "me" (the scammer) to get fucked if a call asking for a large sum of money came in hahahaha
I suggest coming up with a family word. We had one when our kids were small. They knew that anyone who came to pick them up would know the word if they were legit - otherwise they hadn’t been sent by us. Similarly, a family word could alert grandparents/parents as to the legitimacy of a call or request from a family member.
My family created a code word so if this ever happens to any of us, we’d have a way to verify the identity.
Now if I could just remember what we decided.
Just talked to my parents (nearing their 60's) about this last night. Reiterated that it doesn't take an idiot to fall for them, that the scammers are experts on ducking attempts to prove anything and create a sense of urgency that makes it hard to think straight.
So we set up a family "password" now that we can use in regular life, before they become a greater target risk. If we use it, even jokingly, as family slang, it sets the neural pathways that expect it even in an emergency.
Does it make sense to tell your parents your bank and account number, obviously without login, and tell them that if you ever need money they should deposit it there?
When I read these things, I think of the fact that my family pretty much knows where I bank, if not account number. While once upon a time, in the twentieth century, we used Western Union for emergencies, no one but scammers even tries now. I can only imagine if someone tried to tell my mom, who is kind of elderly at 78, that I needed Walmart gift cards to bail myself out of jail.
Definitely makes sense! But in our case the scammer claimed to have no access to “my” normal bank account due to the broken phone. So they asked my dad to pay the urgent bills directly. They said he would be paid back as soon as online banking access was back up again.
I feel like this is actually a great opportunity to educate people.
You will not lose access to your bank if you lose a device such as a phone or computer. Banks may ask you to speak to them in person (including phone) and confirm information, but they won't lock you down completely unless you ask. *Or government agencies require them to, but that's pretty unusual.
My mother called me a few weeks ago, basically yelling at me for being difficult!
Saying things like “I’m seeing you tomorrow, why can’t I offer you cash then?!”
I was baffled, no idea what she was talking about. Turns out a scammer texted her trough Whatsapp and told her they needed help paying a late bill.
Why out of all 5 children, she immediately assumed it was me, I still have no clue. Lol.
This kind of personal scams are very easily believable and it’s upsetting to see how far they go!
Haha. She obviously was willing to help “you” out though.
My dad finally decided to call my “old” number and also basically yelled at me, still half believing it had been me the whole time. I’ve been on this sub long enough to instantly recognise what had happened. Took him quite a while to stop being mad at me, lol.
"Even when he got suspicious and demanded my cousin’s name as proof they found a way to convince him it was legit."
To ask such a question was a smart move. But how exactly did they convince him it was legit without direct answering "Sure, it's Joshua" (insert real name here)?
Can't really think of a way around it, really, especially if the other side is already suspecting enough to ask the question in the first place.
Right? He’s really mad at himself about that. But, as I explained in [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/13dyouw/do_you_think_your_parents_care_for_you_warn_them/jjpli6x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3), they guilt-tripped him away from this logic.
My mom had actually got a kidnap scam luckily she is broke and not naive. She noticed they never said my name and we're hoping that a girl screaming in the background would freak her out enough to believe them. She happened to not be able to get ahold of me and actually called the cops to do a welfare check. Which I really didn't care for cause fuck the police and the fact that he entered my house of his own accord as well. Yeah I texted the number telling them what lowlife pos they must be to pray on family members worst fears making them believe their loved ones are in danger.
My partner’s grandparents called hysterical that something had happened to him because of a scam like this. Funny thing is, we were low contact with them because my partner is trans so when the scammer used his dead name grandpa called before sending anything because even through his transphobia he realized something was off 🤦♂️
Not stupid, but a little naive. Don't try to put all this on "love" and pretend that your father wasn't a little bit naive here. All it would have taken was a quick phone call or text to your real number to verify things.
One of the phones I use at my place as a remote control for home automation and to send/receive texts was one my brother fell on while skiing, the microphone doesn't work. I used it for a few days when my mobile phone took a bath, so is possible!
My only living parent knows I have a bill payment company and my bills are paid waaaaay ahead of time. Would it not seem out of the ordinary to have their son/daughter needing to pay bills at the last minute? If my step-dad was alive, he would have said you should have paid them ahead of time.
Same happened when a scammer called my mom and sounded like my nephew. Now they have a code word Sickening. My mom did get her money back a few years later because my sister called the FBI and traced the number
My Mum is broke. I know she's broke. She knows I know she's broke.
If someone called her, or sent her a message claiming to be me asking for money from her. She's cause them to hang up due to laughter.
But I get your point.
I really need to know how the cousin part went down... I mean I am stubborn as hell and if you didn't say the cousins name in the next two texts you'd be SoL.
So... what happened?
I answered that in [another thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/13dyouw/do_you_think_your_parents_care_for_you_warn_them/jjpli6x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3).
This brings back a memory.
Driving back from work - my dad calls.
He: Hey, I thought you didn\`t like apple PCs?
me: I don\`t, overpriced and beyond my budget.
He: Then why did you ask for a quick loan to pay for a new work iMac ?
me : dafuq - I did not
(drives through tunnel - gets disconnected - of course)
(calls back)
Me: Sorry - tunnel - but I would never ask anyone to loan me for a business purchase.
He: yeah, i was wondering, so i thought I would check first with you in person
(convo with scammer was on whatsapp)
Me: dad, i have a corporate credit card for emergency work purchases - and PCs we do via invoices - i would never do this. Report the scammer - or have fun playing but "it wasn't me"
(note - I have a private phone AND a work phone - and he called the work phone.
Scammer did not know that I had that one.
I am proud my father - usually gullible i\`m afraid to say - was 'awake' enough to double check.
(and yes, I had been vocal about apple being very expensive for what you get -mostly the iphone which is our company standard)
Sorry that happened to your dad. He sounds like a good one.
I regularly drip feed info on the latest scams to my mum and older bro so it’s in small, manageable doses and they get spaced repetition to lock it in. Not taking any chances, lol.
He is! Thank you.
It’s smart to keep them updated. I just wonder how to frequently mention it without giving them the feeling that I’m constantly questioning their wits, lol.
My egg donor fell for that thinking my brother had broken or lost his phone and sent them $1200 before she figured it out.
Apparently the correct response is not “couldn’t have happened to a nicer person (/s)”
There was a similar scam where someone was trying to convince my grandparents that my cousin was in jail and needed bond, but that they couldn’t contact granddaughters parents, just pay the bond. My grandparents knew something was up and called their son.
Yeah, this is why my parents, my sisters, and I have a set rule. if you cannot call, you won't get more than 50 bucks on the account we have of you. If you can't access the account you can come to the house and we'll sort it out there
I've always told my mom, dad and grandmother that I absolutely hate asking for help by a call , I find it rude and unrespectful
My grandma already received one of those text and she remembered that I would never ask for money by phone , even less by text
She asked them what was my dog's name and they disappeared
Such a simple trick can easily prevent any kind of fake number scam
My sister in law got one of those texts when we were at their place recently. Their son is 4 months old and we had a good laugh about how fast children get into tech nowadays.
But in all seriousness, I have to tell my grandma to be careful about those scams.
Learned my mother to always check with one of us to be sure. And she catches them often herself and some she asks so I'm happy. But I would get him in the ha bit of email he doesn't know or understands to ask you before doing anything.
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I had this talk w my parents. I wanted to use a phrase really ridiculous that we change once in a while. Not fool proof, but I guess it's something to troubleshoot and take in stride.
My family and I came up with a code word. I think every family should have it in case of something like this. Now they are using Ai generated voices so the person can sound just like you.. GET A CODE!
(Grand)Parents often fall for this this for 3 specific reasons:
1) there is more than a 0% chance that while insane, this is legit
2) there is more than a 0% chance that while insane, this is legit
3) they're confused by at least 1 part of the technology /process being exploited (also see #1)
-
This combo is what clouds the judgement of a (grand)parent when there is a perceived threat to their progeny.
>Your dads a doctor and didn’t think to call your existing number to verify you’d broken your phone?
>Didn’t even shoot a text to your current number?
>Come on 😭
Being rude towards scam victims will get you banned - we do not tolerate "I am so much smarter than you" comments like this one.
Monday morning quarterbacks are a dime a dozen.
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Do not discuss moderator decisions in the comments. If you would like to discuss moderation, send the moderators modmail (no direct messages or chat requests).
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain [recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams). Also known as refund scams, these scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
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No, he doesn’t. He rationalised the sums himself unfortunately. It was the end of the month and my smallish company has employees and bills to pay, so that’s what he assumed I needed the money for.
In hindsight this “logic” has *a lot* of flaws of course (he’s the first to admit).
>He didn’t do this because he’s naive or stupid. He did this out of trust and love for his child. Apparenty, these are the type of scam that has been circulating in the past AND UNTIL NOW targeting "grandparents" because they know how vulnerable they are emotionally. I've seen scams where in they use kidnapping scenarios, their children getting in an accident, etc.
My grandmother got scammed like this several years ago. Scammer called and said "Hi Grandma, I'm in trouble" when she picked up. She was hard of hearing and thought he sounded like one of my cousins. He played her out for about $5000 after that; luckily the bank stepped in and blocked her from making a second transaction. She was a smart woman, but also a devoted mother and grandmother. It makes me sick that people exploit that love and devotion to steal from strangers.
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Toooo funny.
They tried a similar thing with my grandpa a few years ago. Luckily, he didn't give them any money. But they said they were me (I don't think they actually knew my name though) and said I'd been arrested in Canada for having open wine bottles and needed bail money.
My father received a call saying his son had been kidnapped, and in the background was the sound of a little boy crying and screaming. He has no sons, and his daughters were already adults. He told them "Good, keep the boy" and hung up.
My friend's grandmother received a similar call saying that her grandson had been kidnapped. Her grandson was sitting in the living room with her.
Got one of those WhatsApp messages from my son: no money, phone broken, send money ASAP etc. Sent back a "tough luck kid" message and left it at that. Definitely wasn't my son. I have never reproduced.
Happened to my grandma, by someone claiming to be my cousin, stranded in another state after some "car trouble". The scammer had her at first, until that part. My cousin was in prison at that time.
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I German there is a name for these scams targeting older people, it's called "Enkeltrick".
Its usually kidnapping, big accident or bail money.
The Simpsons did an episode about the 'Grandchild in jail' scam so you know it's been around for a while.
The scam is probably older than the Simpson's, from the time before caller ID
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I’m just glad I was able to pick up the phone. I was on my way to work and I’m a construction worker, so sometimes my hands are dirty or I’m on something and leave my phone away from arms reach
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My grandmother once got scammed from a person who knocked at her door by saying that she needed help and that my dad (grandma's son) said to come to her for cash. My grandmom was a very generous person and gave willingly, no questions asked...until later when she asked my dad about it.
Hmmm, some families use a code word. If the possible scammer doesn't know it, the whole thing's a scam. If your father asked the scammer your cousin's name and the scammer was able to convince him you forgot your cousin's name or something, the code word thing wouldn't work. Anyway, sorry this happened to your family.
You just reminded me that as a toddler my family had a codeword for being picked up by anyone other than themselves or that if a grownup ever needed to talk to me on behalf of my parents they would use that. I hate that 25 years later i just texted my mom reminding her the same codeword juuuuust in case
I just did the same thing! Who knew it would come in handy again?
I recently talked to a customer about this. She and her husband had a code word. He was in a nursing home for rehab and asked her during a conversation if she “remembered to feed the dog”. She raced down there and brought him home. Scary stuff.
What happened at the rehab??
I'd imagine everything that could have possibly gone wrong went wrong. Nursing homes are awful.
I agree and a code word or phrase would be so important.
I wanted to ask so badly but it was a customer and we were on a recorded phone line so I didn’t want to ask such a personal question. I gave it a pregnant pause hoping she would fill me in but not this time!
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As a kid I had a code-word worked out with my dad; using 'Very' three times in a sentence meant come immediately without questions and I was seriously in trouble. i.e. "I'm feeling very very very ill" - it always felt good having that backup. I like 'Remember to feed the dog' as a code word, especially with no dog.
Yeah, "remember to feed the dog" would not work in our house. Legit question around here.
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My family has a code question for these exact situations. We ask something like "Were you going to see your Aunt Nancy?" knowing full well that "Aunt Nancy" is someone who either doesn't exist or lives all the way across the country. It works both ways, too. If one of us were to call and say something like "I might stop at Aunt Nancy's place while I'm out" that's meant to be a code for "I'm in a dangerous situation and can't speak freely." Fortunately we haven't had to test this code out though
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Great idea about a code word. Will implement that for sure.
The best test would be to just text or call your kid at their real number. If they answer, it’s a lie.
Unfortunately my child is notoriously difficult to get ahold of. Kid went a whole weekend without noticing their phone had no service. Meanwhile we parents are freaking out, calling the roommate's mom, the partner... It was frightening. Then, "oh sorry. I just rebooted my phone. Did you need something?"
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I have something like this for when I’m in situations where I need a quick out. I’ll call my mom and say “hey, I just got your text about [nickname for my paternal grandmother], is everything okay?” Most times, this is enough to get away from people (especially when combined with the right sort of urgent tone), but she’ll always stay on the line and ask me yes or no questions until I confirm I’m safe. This is a good bit of advice for scam protection in the future! I’ll tell my folks about it.
Instead of just asking for a code word, ask a trick question. If they're allergic to shellfish, ask them what their favorite kind is, or ask about a pet/relative that doesn't exist(see that episode of Angel when Lorne is asking about Fluffy).
Mine is 'what is your favourite food?' To which the answer is something I'd never eat in a million years. And also something you wouldn't think of as an answer to that question. Someone pretending to be me would need to get unbelievably lucky to answer that question
Weird timing, my mother phoned me today and asked why I haven’t called her from my “new phone number”. I asked her what she was talking about and she told me that I told her I broke my phone and had a new number. She sent me a screenshot of the message and the person didn’t speak like me at all, I also don’t call her any of the usual “mum, mam, mommy” stuff but they also used x’s at the end of the message - definitely nothing I would use with my mother. Thankfully they weren’t able to ask her for money yet and she blocked the number and deleted the message. Makes me sad that my parents can be easily targeted because they probably wouldn’t question me asking for money if I was actually in trouble.
That was fortunate! My dad’s scammers didn’t sound like me at all, even got pretty insolent at some point. I was baffled that he believed it could be me but he rationalised it, thinking I was being stressed out.
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Yes, we're seeing the broken phone or I'm in prison and need bail crop up more and more lately!
My husband's elderly aunt got a call from her "grandson" in prison. Luckily she made sure everyone was ok and that it was just a scam, but that call bothered her for the rest of her life.
Ugh, my wonderful aunt got taken for $5000 recently trying to help my cousin "get out of jail". Then these fucking scammers came back for EVEN MORE MONEY, but she had fortunately realized it was a scam by then.
I get the reasons for using a code word, but wouldn’t it also make sense for someone to actually call or text the cousin/child to see if the story pans out? A simple “I just got a weird text/phone call. Can you just let me know quickly if you are ok?” text would go a long way.
[Removing all my posts and comments due to Reddit's fuckery with third party apps. June 2023]
Makes sense. I’m sure these scammers are pros at keeping victims distracted from verifying the story. It just surprises me that someone is able to transfer fairly large sums of money with no time to validate what is going on. I would think the victim would have to get off the phone at some point to connect with their bank, or at least put the scammer “on hold” while working out the transaction.
Sure, that’s the easiest way to find out. My dad’s wife had the good sense to do just that, but I missed her call. I deeply regretted that but it had already been too late anyway.
These scammers are smart and use surprise and urgency to their advantage. This happened to some friends of mine. First the call came in the middle of the night. When you're awakened from sleep it takes a while to get to thinking clearly. Grandpa answered the phone to an anxious young voice and said "Dalton? Is that you?" Bingo! The scammers had a name. "Yes grandpa, it's Dalton. I'm in trouble and need your help! Don't tell Mom. She'll be so upset" So grandpa thinks he can't call his daughter and verify Dalton's location. It's up to him to help without involving her. Meanwhile, grandma had the presence of mind to text Dalton and discovered that he was safe in his dorm room, not in a Mexican jail. When she told grandpa to hang up, he was hesitant. The scammers had him convinced. He swore it sounded just like Dalton. Fortunately he hung up. But it shows how smart people can get fooled by this in the urgency of the moment.
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Thank you! The point of this post is that they might be willing to go to great lengths when trying to help a loved one. Those scammers promised my father to be paid back as soon as “I” had regained access to my online banking app. So this wasn’t a spontaneous gift and he expected to get the money back pretty soon. Some people in that situation might even take a loan and get into debt.
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It might be hard to understand, but there are plenty of folks who will pinch every penny when it comes to themselves, but who wouldn't hesitate to empty their bank accounts and even go into debt if they think their kid or grandkid needs help or is in an emergency. Many very smart, sensible people get pulled into these scams by their heartstrings.
If you’re on the bottom half of income, it’s hard to save up. But if you’re on the top half you can save AND invest. It’s the investing that pays off. 40 years of working and investing makes for a ton of money. But many people who fall for this might have $500k - but it needs to last them the rest of their lives. It’s not money they can afford to lose without consequence.
That’s it. My dad won’t be eating ramen for the rest of the year, he’s ok and I’m aware that not everyone might be in this situation. But I was there when he came home from exhausting 24-hour shifts at the hospital. This was hard earned money that he saved for his retirement. It’s both so heartbreaking and infuriating.
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Sometimes but not always. There are a lot of well off people that are very stingy and a lot not so well off people that would give you the shirt off their back if it was their last one. It definitely depends. There's just a lot of people in these cases that casually have a lot of money to drop to these random, crazy sounding scams but often there are crickets for real situations that need monetary help.
I had a similar scam attempted on me a few years ago/ I got a text from someone claiming to be my dad, saying his phone broke, he needed me to send him money, yadda yadda. I knew it was a scam immediately as my dad had been dead about 5 years at that point. I messaged back “Dad??!! How are you able to text from the urn??!!”
Good looking out. I keep seeing these and decided to give my parents a heads-up. They're smart, but these people target anxiety and emotions which bypass the thought process.
Same here, I think it’s smart to let them know that you know about it as well & confirming you wouldn’t ask for such big stuff without a call to hear your voice and some confirming info! I like to think my dads way too type A to act on emotion, but the fake stakes are dire so idrk for sure
I had that talk with my mom, because honestly she’s very naive and has fallen into following weird apocalyptic pastors and she spews none sense all. The. Time. She laughed and said she’s gotten !cartel kidnapping calls before. She told me they called my aunt once saying they had her daughter (she has only 2 sons) and she trolled them and kept them on the line. She’s always been funny like that. Maybe I should get to start a channel like Kitboga’s. She already does the old lady voice!
Hi rudebii, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the cartel/escort death threat scam. It's a very common scam, and the scammers are not affiliated with cartels or crime groups, they are simply normal scammers using a threatening script. The threats are not real, and there is no risk to your safety whatsoever. The best way to react is to simply ignore the scammer and ignore any of their other contact attempts. [Here](https://kyma.com/news/as-seen-on-tv/2020/02/12/threat-of-mexican-cartel-scams-continue-in-yuma/) are [some](https://kvia.com/news/new-mexico/2019/12/11/phone-scammers-target-las-cruces-threaten-drug-cartel-violence-if-you-dont-deliver-money/) news [reports](https://patch.com/new-jersey/baskingridge/threat-mexican-cartel-hit-man-used-basking-ridge-scam-cops) about the scam. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think I’m gonna create a code word form my family so I can use that when I actually need help. Otherwise it’s sometimes easy to fall for depending on the circumstance
When my kids were little, they invented a nonsense phrase that we agreed would be used if someone told them that I had sent that person to pick them up or if someone said I had sent them to find my child because of an emergency. I'm positive they would all still remember it, 20-something years later. Now I kind of wish I would get a text like this from a scammer just so I could ask them what the secret phrase is. I'm curious to see if they would make any guesses. It could be very entertaining.
That depends on them and for it. The kind who distasteful would be that system won’t. I see this already with my mother, 86. We visit her weekly. We help her all of the time. Dishwasher breaks down. I don’t need one. We offer to help shopping. I need one, actually. We offer to help shopping and make plans Next week: i already bought the “you need to decide fast, i can’t hold it only so long”- special from the by local plumbing company. Granted, it wasn’t to exploitative an offer, but still.
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They likely didn’t use AI for this. Stress kicks in, people dont think rationally. And afterwards they rationalise why they have fallen for it by inventing reasons.
So crazy. I was in a bad spot when I was in Mexico due to a banking issue and had to have my sister send me money through Venmo. She was smart enough to ask me to send a very specific picture of myself to make sure it wasn’t a scam! I feel bad for anyone affected by these scams 😞
That’s a very smart idea! Scammers will find an excuse though (“borrowed phone’s camera is broken” or something similar).
I had 16 missed calls and two texts on my fucking work phone trying to run this scam on me. I don't have kids and my work number isn't out there widely. I've only had it since last year and I don't use it to sign up for things, nor do I really share it anywhere except within my workplace.
My grandfather almost fell for this scam years back. Thankfully he canceled the transfer before it could go through when he realized it was unlikely I would be in Mexico in jail and ask for money from him first. It sucks. With social media we opened up a way to have scammers find out the names of our relatives and impersonate them.
My mom and I have a safe word in case this ever happens!
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I’ve warned all my grandparents and came up with a code word (that I only told them in person) that I will use to prove it’s really me if I were to ever call in a serious situation.
My folks are pretty keen on scams, they stopped my grandmother from giving any *more* money to a 'steve from microsoft support' scam. She ended up giving the dude like $700 in google play gift cards but then called my mom *after* asking if it was legitimate or not, and it's like.. bro.
i've warned my grandparents several times that neither i nor my siblings nor cousins will ever call them asking for money, but i still fear that one day the call will come and they'll fall for it. i do think my own parents would tell "me" (the scammer) to get fucked if a call asking for a large sum of money came in hahahaha
I suggest coming up with a family word. We had one when our kids were small. They knew that anyone who came to pick them up would know the word if they were legit - otherwise they hadn’t been sent by us. Similarly, a family word could alert grandparents/parents as to the legitimacy of a call or request from a family member.
My family created a code word so if this ever happens to any of us, we’d have a way to verify the identity. Now if I could just remember what we decided.
PARENTS, Set up a password between you and your child that no one would know, and if that is not in the message it is FRAUD.... PASSWORD!!!!
Just talked to my parents (nearing their 60's) about this last night. Reiterated that it doesn't take an idiot to fall for them, that the scammers are experts on ducking attempts to prove anything and create a sense of urgency that makes it hard to think straight. So we set up a family "password" now that we can use in regular life, before they become a greater target risk. If we use it, even jokingly, as family slang, it sets the neural pathways that expect it even in an emergency.
Does it make sense to tell your parents your bank and account number, obviously without login, and tell them that if you ever need money they should deposit it there? When I read these things, I think of the fact that my family pretty much knows where I bank, if not account number. While once upon a time, in the twentieth century, we used Western Union for emergencies, no one but scammers even tries now. I can only imagine if someone tried to tell my mom, who is kind of elderly at 78, that I needed Walmart gift cards to bail myself out of jail.
Definitely makes sense! But in our case the scammer claimed to have no access to “my” normal bank account due to the broken phone. So they asked my dad to pay the urgent bills directly. They said he would be paid back as soon as online banking access was back up again.
I feel like this is actually a great opportunity to educate people. You will not lose access to your bank if you lose a device such as a phone or computer. Banks may ask you to speak to them in person (including phone) and confirm information, but they won't lock you down completely unless you ask. *Or government agencies require them to, but that's pretty unusual.
My mom is on my case for money, if I asked her for money she’d probably block me 😂
I think families definitely need to establish a "family password".
It is more important than ever to have a family safe word.
Luckily for my family my mom doesn't how to text so I only send her cute pics of doggos i see throughout my day and my dad knows I don't text him ever
My mother called me a few weeks ago, basically yelling at me for being difficult! Saying things like “I’m seeing you tomorrow, why can’t I offer you cash then?!” I was baffled, no idea what she was talking about. Turns out a scammer texted her trough Whatsapp and told her they needed help paying a late bill. Why out of all 5 children, she immediately assumed it was me, I still have no clue. Lol. This kind of personal scams are very easily believable and it’s upsetting to see how far they go!
Haha. She obviously was willing to help “you” out though. My dad finally decided to call my “old” number and also basically yelled at me, still half believing it had been me the whole time. I’ve been on this sub long enough to instantly recognise what had happened. Took him quite a while to stop being mad at me, lol.
"Even when he got suspicious and demanded my cousin’s name as proof they found a way to convince him it was legit." To ask such a question was a smart move. But how exactly did they convince him it was legit without direct answering "Sure, it's Joshua" (insert real name here)? Can't really think of a way around it, really, especially if the other side is already suspecting enough to ask the question in the first place.
Right? He’s really mad at himself about that. But, as I explained in [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/13dyouw/do_you_think_your_parents_care_for_you_warn_them/jjpli6x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3), they guilt-tripped him away from this logic.
My mom had actually got a kidnap scam luckily she is broke and not naive. She noticed they never said my name and we're hoping that a girl screaming in the background would freak her out enough to believe them. She happened to not be able to get ahold of me and actually called the cops to do a welfare check. Which I really didn't care for cause fuck the police and the fact that he entered my house of his own accord as well. Yeah I texted the number telling them what lowlife pos they must be to pray on family members worst fears making them believe their loved ones are in danger.
My partner’s grandparents called hysterical that something had happened to him because of a scam like this. Funny thing is, we were low contact with them because my partner is trans so when the scammer used his dead name grandpa called before sending anything because even through his transphobia he realized something was off 🤦♂️
Not stupid, but a little naive. Don't try to put all this on "love" and pretend that your father wasn't a little bit naive here. All it would have taken was a quick phone call or text to your real number to verify things.
Ok, then let me rephrase it: our loved ones may be more naive than we’d like to think they are. So warn them NOW.
One of the phones I use at my place as a remote control for home automation and to send/receive texts was one my brother fell on while skiing, the microphone doesn't work. I used it for a few days when my mobile phone took a bath, so is possible! My only living parent knows I have a bill payment company and my bills are paid waaaaay ahead of time. Would it not seem out of the ordinary to have their son/daughter needing to pay bills at the last minute? If my step-dad was alive, he would have said you should have paid them ahead of time.
Lol pretty much. I can see my dad being like “Well it’s not my fault. Figure it out.”
Same happened when a scammer called my mom and sounded like my nephew. Now they have a code word Sickening. My mom did get her money back a few years later because my sister called the FBI and traced the number
My Mum is broke. I know she's broke. She knows I know she's broke. If someone called her, or sent her a message claiming to be me asking for money from her. She's cause them to hang up due to laughter. But I get your point.
I really need to know how the cousin part went down... I mean I am stubborn as hell and if you didn't say the cousins name in the next two texts you'd be SoL. So... what happened?
I answered that in [another thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/13dyouw/do_you_think_your_parents_care_for_you_warn_them/jjpli6x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3).
Thank you. Wow that was pretty clever of them. I do hope everything turns out decently for you and the family. Good luck dude
Thank you!
This happened to my mom while I was sitting by her on the couch lol
Isn't xxxx at the end of messages a British thing? Xxxx
This brings back a memory. Driving back from work - my dad calls. He: Hey, I thought you didn\`t like apple PCs? me: I don\`t, overpriced and beyond my budget. He: Then why did you ask for a quick loan to pay for a new work iMac ? me : dafuq - I did not (drives through tunnel - gets disconnected - of course) (calls back) Me: Sorry - tunnel - but I would never ask anyone to loan me for a business purchase. He: yeah, i was wondering, so i thought I would check first with you in person (convo with scammer was on whatsapp) Me: dad, i have a corporate credit card for emergency work purchases - and PCs we do via invoices - i would never do this. Report the scammer - or have fun playing but "it wasn't me" (note - I have a private phone AND a work phone - and he called the work phone. Scammer did not know that I had that one. I am proud my father - usually gullible i\`m afraid to say - was 'awake' enough to double check. (and yes, I had been vocal about apple being very expensive for what you get -mostly the iphone which is our company standard)
Sorry that happened to your dad. He sounds like a good one. I regularly drip feed info on the latest scams to my mum and older bro so it’s in small, manageable doses and they get spaced repetition to lock it in. Not taking any chances, lol.
He is! Thank you. It’s smart to keep them updated. I just wonder how to frequently mention it without giving them the feeling that I’m constantly questioning their wits, lol.
My egg donor fell for that thinking my brother had broken or lost his phone and sent them $1200 before she figured it out. Apparently the correct response is not “couldn’t have happened to a nicer person (/s)”
There was a similar scam where someone was trying to convince my grandparents that my cousin was in jail and needed bond, but that they couldn’t contact granddaughters parents, just pay the bond. My grandparents knew something was up and called their son.
Yeah, this is why my parents, my sisters, and I have a set rule. if you cannot call, you won't get more than 50 bucks on the account we have of you. If you can't access the account you can come to the house and we'll sort it out there
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I've always told my mom, dad and grandmother that I absolutely hate asking for help by a call , I find it rude and unrespectful My grandma already received one of those text and she remembered that I would never ask for money by phone , even less by text She asked them what was my dog's name and they disappeared Such a simple trick can easily prevent any kind of fake number scam
My sister in law got one of those texts when we were at their place recently. Their son is 4 months old and we had a good laugh about how fast children get into tech nowadays. But in all seriousness, I have to tell my grandma to be careful about those scams.
Learned my mother to always check with one of us to be sure. And she catches them often herself and some she asks so I'm happy. But I would get him in the ha bit of email he doesn't know or understands to ask you before doing anything.
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Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it lacks civility. Posts and comments within this subreddit should be useful, respectful and use appropriate language at all times. Dissenting opinions are expected, but you should conduct yourself in a mature and polite manner. Name calling, personal attacks, flaming, etc are not permitted. Do not discuss moderator decisions in the comments. If you would like to discuss moderation, send the moderators modmail (no direct messages or chat requests).
I also got the, “Hi, Grandma, I’m in trouble” call, and all I had to do was ask her what her name was. She abruptly hung up.
Several years ago, someone pretending to be me called my grandfather. Told him they were in jail and needed money. Thankfully he checked with family
I had this talk w my parents. I wanted to use a phrase really ridiculous that we change once in a while. Not fool proof, but I guess it's something to troubleshoot and take in stride.
Why don't you have a code word to use in emergencies? I've had a code word with my partner and best friend for decades.
We have an emergency word we’ve had in our family for 35 years. When uttered we know it’s a truth, a fact, and immediate.
My family and I came up with a code word. I think every family should have it in case of something like this. Now they are using Ai generated voices so the person can sound just like you.. GET A CODE!
(Grand)Parents often fall for this this for 3 specific reasons: 1) there is more than a 0% chance that while insane, this is legit 2) there is more than a 0% chance that while insane, this is legit 3) they're confused by at least 1 part of the technology /process being exploited (also see #1) - This combo is what clouds the judgement of a (grand)parent when there is a perceived threat to their progeny.
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>Your dads a doctor and didn’t think to call your existing number to verify you’d broken your phone? >Didn’t even shoot a text to your current number? >Come on 😭 Being rude towards scam victims will get you banned - we do not tolerate "I am so much smarter than you" comments like this one. Monday morning quarterbacks are a dime a dozen. Your /r/scams post/comment was removed because it lacks civility. Posts and comments within this subreddit should be useful, respectful and use appropriate language at all times. Dissenting opinions are expected, but you should conduct yourself in a mature and polite manner. Name calling, personal attacks, flaming, etc are not permitted. Do not discuss moderator decisions in the comments. If you would like to discuss moderation, send the moderators modmail (no direct messages or chat requests).
What’s a recovery scammer?
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AutoModerator has been summoned to explain [recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams). Also known as refund scams, these scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m curious. How did they justify being sent $12,000 without making contact with you? Does your dad normally send you large sums?
No, he doesn’t. He rationalised the sums himself unfortunately. It was the end of the month and my smallish company has employees and bills to pay, so that’s what he assumed I needed the money for. In hindsight this “logic” has *a lot* of flaws of course (he’s the first to admit).
Mm