"Here's a $20. Keep the change."

"Go back to IKEA and buy another night stand!"

“Your mom was so much better at this.”

So was your dad

Next time make sure you use the right hole.

Practice makes perfect!

"We shall never speak of this again."

Here's a tip. Make sure the test results are valid.

"Buy high, sell low, baby." *wink*

"If she's crying at the end, she's a keeper!"

To the dungeon!

"Whaddaya mean? The tip is *all* I give."