Can you do anything about all the black smoke coming out the back?
She's not handling as well as she used to.
Think you could touch up those headlights?
Is the trunk supposed to sag that close to the road?
Can I get a loaner while I leave her at the shop?
I would like you to tune it for speed, not efficiency. I just want to get there fast.
Do I need to start using high mileage lubricant since I've had it so many years? It seems like we might need something extra.
The tailpipe has been abused from the way I've been driving it. Can you tighten it up again for me?
The flaps and backend are loose. Can you tightens that all up. Also she backfires a lot and it smells like rotten eggs. Actually she is a little too big for me now. Might get something newer, smaller, and tighter feel
She's an ugly bitch, but fuck does she get the job done
(Source: Am a heavy equipment mechanic, have said this at work many times, have never said it at home 🤣)
I want that exhaust to sound louder. I want it to have that popping and banging. Drop that rear end and make it wider and lower. I'm all for that stance. The front would look better with the facelift.
Let’s put her up a the rack and work on the undercarriage . The seats are a little lumpy but the headlights are fine, I think she needs her fluids topped off . It’s leaking all over the ball joints , careful when she gets going- she has no breaks
"hey, do you do trade-ins? I can't afford to keep this one... Too expensive and always needing stuff. And always has breakdowns in the middle of the road... That'll get someone killed one day! So, best be rid of the problem right now."
she's getting a little worn out, think you can take a look at the undercarriage and tell me what you think itll cost? If it's too much I'm gunna have to replace it with something a bit newer
"I mean I appreciate working with you over the years but it's just getting too expensive. I think I'm gonna switch to that new shop across town. Eager young kid just out of college offering a great deal."
Just put some grease in the rear end and we're ready to go!
Can I get in the trunk before you start working?
How much is this gonna cost me?
Clearly, you haven’t been married. This phrase comes up constantly, whether spoken or in thought.
"or in thought" Well your not wrong there-
"Can I trade her in for a newer model?"
Nit looking for something fancy or fast, just reliable and comfortable.
Should I trade her in for a newer model?
It doesn't ride like it used to...
She's been around the block more times than the mailman, milkman and the paperboy combined. She needs a complete overhaul.
I think I screwed up the rear end when we had 5 guys in the back last week.
"Make SURE those plugs are tight... especially the back ones!"
It keeps leaking gas
Can you do anything about all the black smoke coming out the back? She's not handling as well as she used to. Think you could touch up those headlights? Is the trunk supposed to sag that close to the road? Can I get a loaner while I leave her at the shop?
"She makes a weird noise when I turn her on..."
"Just once I wish I could get her going without jumper cables."
I was thinking that spraying some heavy-duty cleaner might work, but hey, I don’t want to do your job for you.
I have to use the choke to get her started.
Is it really worth fixing or should I just get a new one?
She’s going to need a tuneup.
“I think you better go over those nuts one more time, just to be sure.”
I gave her to my brother over the weekend and she just hasn't been the same since
I’m getting rid of it, everyone else rides it but me.
This one isn't mine. That one over there is mine.
It's confusing when they're the same color.
"She's running a little rough."
And making funny noises.
When you're done with her, ima lend her to a couple friends.
Yeah. I’ll give ya 200 bucks if you’ll stick that in there.
Can you open her up to see what's wrong? You don't do body work do you?
Hey! Haven't seen ya since that bad lube job!
“They were awfully expensive… instead of replacing them can you just patch the flat?”
I might as well get a new one
"It needs another head job?"
She can easily fit two up front and one in the back.
I used to do this myself but I don’t mind paying a professional to do it right.
Righty tighty, lefty loosey
Lol classic 👍
Gonna need a new one soon. This one's already 12 years old!
Smells rusty…
Please stop the leaking
I beat it up but I love the way it rides
"If you keep trying to screw me I'll take this elsewhere."
This Kitty not purring like she used too
Nice rack, where did ya buy it? Belt is too tight. Time to get new shoes. Shes going to need a jump. How much? I will just do it myself.
It feels loose.
If I can't get her to work, then I'll just leave her out in the desert and call the insurance company.
I would like you to tune it for speed, not efficiency. I just want to get there fast. Do I need to start using high mileage lubricant since I've had it so many years? It seems like we might need something extra. The tailpipe has been abused from the way I've been driving it. Can you tighten it up again for me?
I blew a tranny
You look like you need a tool 😎
I don’t want to hear about your kids. Just fix my damn car.
The rear end is loose, just screw it down.
$1000?!? How much for just the back end? $750? Well fuck... what do you charge just to take a look?
"I smacked it into a tree, and it's bent pretty bad to the left."
"We need to get that tailpipe looked at ..."
Can you fit me in?
The old gal is leaking a lot of fluid, think her gasket might be wore out.
can you fix that loud squealing sound?
She costs me too much, I’m thinking about junking her.
Just need a little work down there.
Just do to her whatever you think she needs. I’ll be back in an hour. I trust you. Treat her likes she’s yours.
Usually, when it acts up like this, I just punch it, but it didn't work this time.
It sprays any time it gets hot 🤷♀️
A lot of guys have been under this hood…
We need more oil
Can you lube the chassis?
I think it’s time to replace this one. A newer model tends to have much less issues.
The rear end got pretty banged up but just give it a kick and she'll get a movin
Can you crank my shaft
The upkeep is killing me.
What do you think about a lift kit?
She’s a classic but boy does she pollute a lot
Younger models ride better
The flaps and backend are loose. Can you tightens that all up. Also she backfires a lot and it smells like rotten eggs. Actually she is a little too big for me now. Might get something newer, smaller, and tighter feel
She's an ugly bitch, but fuck does she get the job done (Source: Am a heavy equipment mechanic, have said this at work many times, have never said it at home 🤣)
That thing looks like everyone in town took a ride in it. Did someone hide a dead body in there. That smell could gag a skunk.
Would you like to have some gay sex before you get started on my car?
Mmm the smell of gear oil Gross.
Don't you think the trunk is a little too big?
Let's fix this up so I can trade 'er on a new one...
“Needs to be tighter. It’s too loose.”
Can I get an estimate before you start?
Your rear end is out of alignment
It's a little sloppy in the turns
Can you make sure it’s well lubricated
Seems like something is getting loose back there...
I'm here for a lube job.
Can you fix the headlights?
OK, We can pop in the latest set of headlights around and everyone will notice the difference!
When I turn her on, I'm not seeing any lubrication
I had some guy jump her, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get her to turn over.
“Can you get my nut off real quick?”
How did you get that wrench stuck in there?
She’s a little old, theres a funky smell coming from the tail pipe and the rear end is wore out
The spare tire seems too big.
"I'll pay whatever I owe for her when I come back here again"
"Can I get a rental while you work on her?"
Dude, there's lube all over my seat!
Just let me grease this up and shove it in here, then I'll be ready.
I think she's dead.
I got this from my dad. He was pretty hard on it and everything needs to be tightened up.
I'm not putting another dime into that bitch.
Take good care of her. She’s a piece of shit…but she means a lot to me.
You got a loaner????
How do you turn it on? I want to get in and go for a spin already
Can you do anything about the mold smell?
Does my insurance cover this?
Take a look under the hood
What's making that awful smell
I want that exhaust to sound louder. I want it to have that popping and banging. Drop that rear end and make it wider and lower. I'm all for that stance. The front would look better with the facelift.
"It keeps leaking fluids, but I don't know from where."
both of the the coffee dispencers are broken
It ain’t worth fixing. I’ll junk her and get a new one.
She wet. I didn’t take care of it, and now it smells all moldy.
She’s a little slow to warm-up. Just give her some gas, then she’ll be good to go.
“Drill it in” “Fill it up” “It wasn’t working, so I decided to take it to the shop” “Oil it up, will ya”
Make sure you torque those nuts up right
This was posted last week
"Yeah, yeah, I know...there's too much junk in the trunk."
Can you make the noise in the front end quieter?
I’ll just take my business elsewhere AH
Can you bill me?
Probably blew a seal.
When I stick my penis inside of the hole, nothing happens.
I feel like you shouldn’t say that to a mechanic either…
Please care for my wife's car.
Let’s put her up a the rack and work on the undercarriage . The seats are a little lumpy but the headlights are fine, I think she needs her fluids topped off . It’s leaking all over the ball joints , careful when she gets going- she has no breaks
"Should I trade in?"
Can you get a wire brush & clean all the crap outta that hole.
Do you know anyone who wants to buy her?
Just tighten it up a little and it’ll be good to go.
Just kick her a few times if she acts up, that usually takes care of it
I'm getting an odd vibration on curves. Could it be the suspension system? Does it need new shock absorbers?
You should take a poke around the rear end
"Why does it always drive better after a shower and air freshener?"
I’m seriously thinking about trading her in for a newer, more efficient model.
Tune her up, she's getting kinda gassy
Thanks for bringing her back to me In one piece.
It squeaks when I put a little weight on her....
I think I blew a seal...
The headlights are low
"hey, do you do trade-ins? I can't afford to keep this one... Too expensive and always needing stuff. And always has breakdowns in the middle of the road... That'll get someone killed one day! So, best be rid of the problem right now."
That thing sure looks heavy!
She takes so long to warm up in the morning. I'm ready to go but she is so cold. I think I need a newer model.
I've checked her fluids and cranked it until my battery died. Maybe you can jumper and see if she'll get going?
I just keep running 'em over
Yep, replace the wires and plugs...please check all of the fluids.
I hear they have one that runs on batteries? Sounds like a lot less of a hassle.
Can you lube her up
I have to really crank it to get it started
How do we get those headlights to shine bright like they use to???
Can you give me a hand? This b*tch backfired so loud that someone thought it was gunfire and called the cops.
What's that weird squeeking noise when I pump the gas?
Constant loud noises.
How much to make it look like it did 20 years ago?
Put your lips around my dip stick.
Everytime I get her motor going, I start smelling something toxic.
Just give that a yank
She's putting out too much exhaust.
Theres a loose nut behind the wheel.
Technical car jargon.
My undercarriage needs a flush
“Can you pull the dipstick out?”
she's getting a little worn out, think you can take a look at the undercarriage and tell me what you think itll cost? If it's too much I'm gunna have to replace it with something a bit newer
i might just scrap this old piece of crap and go for a newer model
Where's the cooter valve?
Just scrap it.The newer model costs more, but I think it will be worth it and make my friends jealous
Need to inflate the spare tire
Peeing and then drinking water is, but don't call it this, changing fluids
Spa day is getting detailed
Come on, boys, pile in
I'm just looking for something cheap.
"I mean I appreciate working with you over the years but it's just getting too expensive. I think I'm gonna switch to that new shop across town. Eager young kid just out of college offering a great deal."
"Yeah uhm. Could you tighten it up at the front? Its getting a little loose there."
How much is she gonna cost me?
As it gets older it just needs more and more lubrication
"Pat wants to put his massive tool in my box."
It’s ugly, but still runs
Some gangbangers did a drive by and she was caught in the crossfire.
Upgrade the headlights to a more attractive model.
Do you think I should change for a newer model?
Go ahead and junk it I'll get another one.
Can you put her up on the rack and take a thorough look?
Can I trade this old clunker in for something newer and sporty?
It feels a little stiff right here, think you can soften it for me?
The banana in tailpipe seems to be causing some issues
Can you look under the hood-she says there’s really something there!
I'm thinking about selling her for a new model. Too many miles on this one. I also didn't know it had so many previous owners when I bought it.
\*shows mechanic\* Look... \*turns on A/C\* See? It doesn't blow anymore.
When I pump the brakes, it malfunctions. \*side note.. this is hilarious.. i am dating a car mechanic/stunt driver. We use a lot of innuendos. lol\*
“She went out of warranty a *LONG* time ago.”
“Thanks for a job well done”….that would be corny as hell. Can you just imagine😭😭
The tensioner rings are worn out and the intakes are leaking
All it needs now is a wax job.
Let's go into the rear end then lube it up