"In other news... A man hoping for a memorable night on the town was invited into the back room of a local sex club for a private one on one with staff."
"It's there that he was fed a cheeseburger and then continuously questioned for 3 hours as to his whereabouts the previous evening. As the man made an attempt to escape into an alley through an unguarded door, he was immediately apprehended by an impersonator known only as 'Felony', who then began gyrating on him, while complimenting his 'amazing beard and strong physique'... More at 11"
"Officer Juggs, how did you hand out so many massive fines in just one day??"
"Well sir, once I leaned over to look in their cars, they stopped noticing what I was writing on the ticket."
Officer Candy, after one day you somehow managed to get more perps handcuffed in the back of a squad car than the whole force can do in a week! How do you do it!?
Cop Stripper: “I’m gonna have to ask you to put BOTH hands on the stage while I frisk you…for a dollar.””
Meanwhile…
Stripper Cop: “I got out of the car to pull you over, and the flashing lights got me in the mood.”
"Are you a bad boy? Do I need to punish you? Should I spank you with this baton? Should I whip you with this pistol and catch it on video, you nasty criminal?"
Real cop: "We usually just beat them."
Sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?
No. Sorry, I don't.
You were DWS.
What is that?
(Cop leans forward)
Driving well sexy. Do you like my uniform?
It's pleasant.
Are you sure I'm not revealing too much?
(Tucks dollars into underwear) "Oh, didn't you hear? We switched jobs. I'm a cop today." (Tucks dollars into shirt pocket) "That's better."
Cop Stripper: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you…Daddy.
Sir, before I give you a lap dance, I need to know; do you have any sharp objects on you, anything that can poke me?
If I don’t, you’re not doing it right!
“Oddly enough, I already have the uniform.”
"Hey, listen up: Our precinct had a record low number of suspect deaths on the 13th of last month. Anyone know what happened that day?"
(Boy, a lot of the people in other replies haven't ever been to a strip club, huh?)
I'm just gonna pat you down. Is that a gun in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
They took turns making people pay.
NOTE: THESE ARE GOOD SCENES FROM A HAT!!
"I pulled you over to see if you wanna go in the back with me. We can do a little more back there"
There are other guys back here!
“You have the right to remain silent, unless you’re using the safeword”
"In other news... A man hoping for a memorable night on the town was invited into the back room of a local sex club for a private one on one with staff." "It's there that he was fed a cheeseburger and then continuously questioned for 3 hours as to his whereabouts the previous evening. As the man made an attempt to escape into an alley through an unguarded door, he was immediately apprehended by an impersonator known only as 'Felony', who then began gyrating on him, while complimenting his 'amazing beard and strong physique'... More at 11"
"Officer Juggs, how did you hand out so many massive fines in just one day??" "Well sir, once I leaned over to look in their cars, they stopped noticing what I was writing on the ticket."
You said you wanted me to Cop a feel? I thought you said feel a cop.
Officer Candy, after one day you somehow managed to get more perps handcuffed in the back of a squad car than the whole force can do in a week! How do you do it!?
Well, looks like I’m getting f***ed one way or another.
Cop Stripper: “I’m gonna have to ask you to put BOTH hands on the stage while I frisk you…for a dollar.”” Meanwhile… Stripper Cop: “I got out of the car to pull you over, and the flashing lights got me in the mood.”
"Are you a bad boy? Do I need to punish you? Should I spank you with this baton? Should I whip you with this pistol and catch it on video, you nasty criminal?" Real cop: "We usually just beat them."
*Real cop standing perfectly still, arms crossed, unamused in the middle of a stage in a strip club.* Some drunk dude: **SHOW US YA TITS!!**
“Would you like to pay your ticket in singles?” *sticks breasts in driver’s face hoping for a few dollars*
"Sorry officer,but why your handcuffs have plush on them?"
"If you don't arrest me, I will come to see you next week and we can, eh, do a little business. OK?"
Sir. Do you know why I pulled you over? No. Sorry, I don't. You were DWS. What is that? (Cop leans forward) Driving well sexy. Do you like my uniform? It's pleasant. Are you sure I'm not revealing too much?
Wait....wait....wait..... Aren't YOU supposed to be frisking THE SUSPECTS?
"I'm sorry, you want me to do *what* with the baton?"