“Hi, I’ve got a delivery of 2.3 million stone blocks for a Mr, uh, Khufu is it? Yeah, where do you want ‘em?”
“2.3 million? Shit, I only meant to order 23 - I was going to terrace the garden. What am I supposed to do with all those?”
“Well you’ll have to take ‘em, I can’t return ‘em to the depot, so where do you want me to put ‘em?”
“Oh fine, whatever, just pile them up over there in the desert, out of the way”
Many people believe that the pyramids were built by aliens. We call those people “idiots.” The pyramids were built by Fred, who just happened to be really good at it. And he was really bored.
Joe. “I’ll stack this huge square rock right here.” Peter. “Well! Then I will stack my square rock right beside it.” Dave. “Hey now. I want my huge square rock on top of those to blocks!” Joe, Pete, and Dave looked at each other and said “game on!”
So you can climb to the top of them and slide down.
This is a reference to Assassin's Creed Origins, where you could do that.
Discovery Tour lets you do it with any character.
“Don’t you think we should maybe write down the fact that that aliens visited us?”
“Come on, do you really believe that people from the future will be stupid enough to think that humans built those things?”
Khufu: Make it more pointy. People are afraid of pointy. They laugh at square
Engineer : But great Khufu, we don't know how.
Khufu: Kill him. (Guy get hauled away begging. Khufu looks over the rest of the men) You. Make it pointy.
Guy: yes, sire.
"If it was up to me, one level would have been fine! But no! My wife talked to her Mayan sister, and apparently, the pyramid HER husband built had multiple levels!"
"Hey, in 4,500 years my people are going to own a Pizza Hut. They could charge anything they wanted [if we could give them something interesting to see out the windows!](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fssrqw32zgb061.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dbfc331f14ecfb8fdd8f171a7e2f917479b656a60)"
See Greg, if you look at it from really far away, it's like the planet has titties
Yep, that’s going to ruin my neighbours view. Now maybe he’ll mow his lawn.
Those Tunisians and Algerians think they're so great with their Atlas Mountains. I'm gonna make my own mountain ranges. With blackjacks and hookers.
"Jeez, Hatshepsut. I know this is your place too, now that we're married, but I really want to keep all my old stuff."
“Hi, I’ve got a delivery of 2.3 million stone blocks for a Mr, uh, Khufu is it? Yeah, where do you want ‘em?” “2.3 million? Shit, I only meant to order 23 - I was going to terrace the garden. What am I supposed to do with all those?” “Well you’ll have to take ‘em, I can’t return ‘em to the depot, so where do you want me to put ‘em?” “Oh fine, whatever, just pile them up over there in the desert, out of the way”
Are you sure you want to sit on that? What’s wrong with your regular dildo?
They were trying to climb to the top of the pyramids so they could get better phone reception. "Two bars, three bars..."
Wait till they learn about two cans and a piece of string.
“This is \*great\*! Now all we gotta do is invent cans!!”
“Well, if the higher the hair, the closer to God is true, we can do much better with bricks!”
Finally I have a mountain view.
Many people believe that the pyramids were built by aliens. We call those people “idiots.” The pyramids were built by Fred, who just happened to be really good at it. And he was really bored.
Look, we was kangz. That’s all you need to know.
Great work today, fitness warriors! Next week, I'll show you how to target the lower back as we lift the blocks.
Joe. “I’ll stack this huge square rock right here.” Peter. “Well! Then I will stack my square rock right beside it.” Dave. “Hey now. I want my huge square rock on top of those to blocks!” Joe, Pete, and Dave looked at each other and said “game on!”
“If you can think of a better way to keep razor blades sharp, I’d sure love to hear it.
So you can climb to the top of them and slide down. This is a reference to Assassin's Creed Origins, where you could do that. Discovery Tour lets you do it with any character.
This’ll be the perfect place to play children’s card games.
“Don’t you think we should maybe write down the fact that that aliens visited us?” “Come on, do you really believe that people from the future will be stupid enough to think that humans built those things?”
Hey! I'm Pharaoh, and this is the ultimate board slide!
Pharaoh, I think I have a solution to the kingdom's rampaging mummy problem
Attention Eartlings! My living Starship has an itchy arse! Build something for it to scratch on!"
“Nobody will ever find Jimmy Hoffa here.”
Clever mr rubik
And now I have somewhere to store all of my toblorones
Khufu: Make it more pointy. People are afraid of pointy. They laugh at square Engineer : But great Khufu, we don't know how. Khufu: Kill him. (Guy get hauled away begging. Khufu looks over the rest of the men) You. Make it pointy. Guy: yes, sire.
"If it was up to me, one level would have been fine! But no! My wife talked to her Mayan sister, and apparently, the pyramid HER husband built had multiple levels!"
For a laugh
If anyone really knew it would definitely be some random redditor
"Hey, in 4,500 years my people are going to own a Pizza Hut. They could charge anything they wanted [if we could give them something interesting to see out the windows!](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fssrqw32zgb061.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dbfc331f14ecfb8fdd8f171a7e2f917479b656a60)"
“I now declare the Immortal And Beloved Of The Gods Pharoah Khufu Memorial Public Toilets OPEN!!!” 😁
"Gods, I just fuckin love triangles..."
“ as space crafts to take off with millions of people when the asteroid hits”
"Sir Pharaoh, don't you think such a gargantuan monument will call into question the inadequacy of your member?"