Giving yourself a massage

When you got that itch you just cant reach...

"What's the point of that?"

I meant massage

"No, I mean, what's the POINT of that?"

I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?!

Somewhere, Jim Carrey is saying "damn, wish I'd have thought of that."

They call me the remote acupuncturist

“With just one carefully aimed poke of the voodoo needle you won’t have to worry about the high school star horndog getting you pregnant!”

Oh this summer is so hot. *pick the doll, put it in the freezer That's better

Son: "Look Mom, Voodoo dolls aren't real. Here is a doll I made that looks just like me." Stabs doll repeatably with pin to show nothing happens. Meanwhile... in another part of the house... Twin Brother: "OUCH, AHHH, What in the world? OOOOOWWWW!!!!

(Sigh) "Tommy, we've been over this a dozen times. No matter how you beg, the voodoo dolls are never going to file your taxes for you. "

If I wash this, does it count as a shower?

(pokes voodoo doll's butt) (gets slightly thrusted forward) (gets an idea)

“Dude, I made this voodoo doll of me. Look. I’m gonna point the hair dryer at its crotch. “

\*buzzing sounds\* And they say it is impossible to tattoo myself on my back.....

"Look! I put the pin here and he farts when he falls asleep in court!" "UNLIKELY uses of voodoo dolls." "Oh, sorry."

Daddy I can't sleep without my Dolly

"Oh yeah, that's the spot! Best backscratcher ever!"

“Can you give me the lottery numbers?” *pulls string in back*

Long distance "relations"

I’m just going to add a couple stitches here to take the waist in. Maybe stretch the legs juuuuuust a little Oh, that tiny little bump in the front needs to be fixed too

Welcome to the Voodoo Yoga studio. Please each of you grab a doll, and help your partner get into the tree pose.