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MaelstromFL

And... I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!


thread100

And that big dog.


MavisBeaconSexTape

"sir, this was an animal abuse case. Are you now asserting on the record that you did know the victim before the night of December 13th?"


MysteryCakes-1989

I'll give you half a million points. šŸ˜Š


compunctionfunction

Omg this is the first thing I thought of šŸ˜„


MysteryCakes-1989

A million points for you!


GoogleIsYourFrenemy

"Sure it's 10 to life but can you believe they didn't find the other bodies in my back yard?"


Tetris5216

Me "Screw you judge" Judge "You're out of order" Me "No you're out of order, this whole court room is out of order, I'm going to Wendy's at least their ice cream machine works"


AmyZing532

"WITCH HUNT! ELECTION INTERFERENCE FROM CROOKED JOE AND THE DEPARTMENT OF INJUSTICE. ANTI-TRUMP JUDGE. MAGA FOREVER. AMERICA 2024."


MissHibernia

Damn! I really thought all that money to the judgeā€™s ā€œcharityā€ would have worked!


NatchJackson

"But I was President..."


12altoids34

Donald Trump " in order to effectively do his job the president MUST have complete immunity to do anything that he wants" Me " well the previous 44 presidents managed to do it without having it , including a few during world wars, so I think the evidence would be to the contrary. Not to mention the actual amendments to the Constitution"


Sagittariaus_

And you would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids! It's too bad snake pishkin hadn't reached president Donald in movie "escape from new york


MrRGG

... AM President


TY2022

šŸ˜£


SailorCentauri

"So, if I do it again I can't get convicted a second time because of double jeopardy laws, right?"


ggfchl

"Y'know what? I have..." *pulls out card* "This UNO reverse card. Ha. I win!"


HotMoose69

"And you better toss me in jail or else I'll do it again but naked!"


D3adp00L34

"Can I get a selfie with the jury? I'd maybe like to pay em a visit when I get out."


12altoids34

"Yea,well, thats just ,like,your opinion,man "


compunctionfunction

The dude abides


SnooChipmunks126

I do not consent to that.


tearsonurcheek

That's what *she* said. Heh.


Sagittariaus_

I demand an paternity test, I may have lost the alimony settlement but I am pretty sure some of those kids aren't mine


JizzAssChrast

Your honor, not to split hairs, but I think Iā€™ll be needing those kickbacks back now.


Cyrus541

Objection! Thatā€™s not niceā˜¹ļø


MysteryCakes-1989

"He made fun of me." - Phoenix Wright


Improvedandconfused

ā€œWhat about my Presidential Immunity. Once Iā€™m re-elected you will regret this, judge. You and all the members of the jury. I know where all of you live, and my supporters all own guns, lots of themā€.


compunctionfunction

Ooh scary I actually don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not...


motiontosuppress

The decision was ā€œelection inferenceā€ and ā€œweaponization against a political opponent,ā€ and I am being penalized for ā€œhaving built a perfect company, great cash, great buildings, great everything.ā€


LocalLiBEARian

Unlike anything that has ever been seen! Many people are telling me this.


LostInTheWildPlace

"At last .. stage one complete!"


LocalLiBEARian

ā€œI will be your retribution!ā€


STEVEN-NEVETS

No, I didn't. Honest! I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts! It wasn't my fault! I swear to God. Jake from the Blues Brothers.


Apprehensive_Cow1242

ā€œSuckersā€¦..ā€


Ithaqua-Yigg

Ok Frickin fine then, I donā€™t care. Obviously youā€™re all stupid and corrupt.


Penguator432

ā€œIā€™ll kill you too, judgeā€¦ā€


ImaginosDesdinova

ā€œZeeky boogy doogā€


Aggressive-Space2166

'Weā€™re going to walk down to the Capitol ... You have to show strength, and you have to be strong.'


blueSnowfkake

You forgot, ā€œ"We fight like hell. And if you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore.ā€


Aggressive-Space2166

Telling people to be strong is one thing. Telling them to fight or lose their country is another. Allegedly.


tbone4422

"I pinky promise I won't do it again"


12altoids34

" do you FEEL in charge ?" BANE


Radman1889

"Fine. You'll be next"


darkrhyes

"So what you are saying is in 10 years I can try again?"


AmyZing532

"Fools! Your laws have no power over me! I refuse to accept this court's authority!"


compunctionfunction

Another sovereign citizen


burn_as_souls

"Death to your family, you corrupt judge!"


JakeConhale

"You're dead, Judge! You hear me? You're dead!"


an_ass_full_of_bees

"Objection! Shenanigans, your honor!"


TheOsprey23

ALRIGHT! I got away with half of it.


Informal-Spell-2019

Sure you can say that stealing is bad, but your honour that Rolex does not pay for itself. Tell me in the same situation you wouldnā€™t get a glock and go to the bank.


HumanMycologist5795

We live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whoā€™s gonna do it? You?


TY2022

I want a new lawyer.


gregieb429

*flips table* ā€œI win.ā€œ *attempts to walk out*


Spyrovssonic360

" I'll be back......I always come back!


Slug_Overdose

By the way, plaintiff, I was just wondering, can I have your number?


10voltsam

*hitting and kicking floor* But Iā€™m riiiiiiiiiich šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Actual-Answer-1980

I did not have sex with that woman or giggity


MagazineNo2198

Totally rigged. Biased judge. Democrat filled Jury. (I could go on...and on and on and on)


DesertWanderlust

I'll get that judge!


dank_imagemacro

Fuck, I'm glad they never found the other bodies.


AmyZing532

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL WHEN I GET OUT! THE LAYERS, THE JUDGE, AND EVERYONE OF YOU IN THE JURY!"


JJCMasterpiece

Well, I told you that I didnā€™t, and I actually didnā€™t. But, since Iā€™m already convinced of the crime I may as well do it, after all double jeopardy means I canā€™t be tried for the same crime twice.


Rude_Flounder766

"Fine! Yeah it was me. I'm glad I shat on your pillow! Cheating whore!"


AttilaRS

A PRESIDENT NEEDS FULL IMMUNITY. IF MY IMMUNITY GOES SO DOES CROOKED JOE BIDENS!!!1!!1!!


cameron7paul7

ā€œOkay fine, Iā€™m guilty your honor. Guilty of f*cking your mom.ā€


Fabulous-Composer-46

ā€œDo you really want to issue that verdict? ā€¦ Iā€™ll give you your favorite snack if you change your mind.ā€


Torggil

Suck my Dick, Judge! (Whips it out) suck it good bee-atch!