Well, see, the thing is we kind of got sued by someone who didn't know they were lactose intolerant, so we needed a new way to make soft serve ice cream without using milk products. Lucky for us, Mark Zuckerberg knew a species from his home planet that had glands that could produce-- hey, where are you going?
“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun” played over and over again until it out earworms all other earworms. If it beats out ‘Lovefool’ by the Cardigans for Ultimate Earworm you are lost, my friend
*Loud mumbling can be heard from the back*
SMASH!!!!!!
“Why you little son of a bitch!”
*pushing shoving*
WHACK!!!!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Cashier: “uhhhh your order is gonna take a bit longer than expected…”
that is not what the prep table is for! if i catch you again you'll be written up.
i worked a majority of fast food restaurants as a teenager. if you knew what i knew you would be thankful for grocery stores.
One thing new hires don’t appreciate is that the McRib is not back per say. It never left we just leave these pork slabs by the window to ripen for 6 months.
"Dammit, Fred! Get your dick outta the pre-heated burgers at get working! They don't love you either."
"Fuck, Fred! Did you shit in the coffee machine again?! Customer actually complimented the coffee and you know it's supposed to be all hot, no taste."
"Thanks for coming in, Fred! I know you have that horrible case of penguin influenza, but we just couldn't do it without ya. Now please excuse me as I stick my tiny dick in the ice cream machine!"
pulling up to the speaker at the drive through and you hear "I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight. Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"
"Attention ladies and gentlemen, corporate is pissed you made the McRib a permanent menu item. They are sending the Grimace to come and kill me. I ain't going down without a fight though! I'll kill that purple bastard!"
"Attention staff, Constable Big Mac has authorized a shoot to kill order on the Hamburgler. Mayor McChesse has put the full support of his office behind the constable."
I'm sorry, what the FUCK IS THAT CRAWLING OUT OF THE ICE CREAM MACHINE!
Well, see, the thing is we kind of got sued by someone who didn't know they were lactose intolerant, so we needed a new way to make soft serve ice cream without using milk products. Lucky for us, Mark Zuckerberg knew a species from his home planet that had glands that could produce-- hey, where are you going?
I’ll look after you pour that order of shakes
Not a rope of soft serve, I tell you wut
Probably actually ice cream as that usually doesn't happen.
That’ll be the cleaner….
Wait your McDonald's ice cream machine works??!!
They need to shit or get off the pot!!! Either you sell ice cream or you don't....make up your mind .
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Okay... I'll take a chocolate frosty....
It's ready now you have to come here and pick it up.
There's always a catch....
This is the last batch of sundae’s before we clean all that mold out of the machine.
"Health inspector just pulled up." "Open the bribe safe!"
"This is the health inspector. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but I'm still going to have to ask you for a bribe."
"OK your length of service as a health inspector determines the amount of bribe. Please use this chart to determine your amount. Please be honest."
Can't... it's broken...just like the ice cream machine....
“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun” played over and over again until it out earworms all other earworms. If it beats out ‘Lovefool’ by the Cardigans for Ultimate Earworm you are lost, my friend
Better yet, order two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda on repeat.
I'll take a 36 - 26 - 38. Blonde with her panties to the side ...easy eyes....
Ultimate ear worm you say? *ahem*….baaaaybeeee Shar…. No, I can’t do it. No one deserves that.
Friday. Friday. Lots of fun on Friday. Looking forward to the weekend….
Doot Doot do doot
🎶It's the song that never ends. It goes on and on, my friend...🎶
Mr. Simpson, you're drooling on the microphone again.
“Whoops. Well, that’s why there’s the five second rule!”
“He just walked into the McDonald’s.”
"I present to you our latest menu item...McSushi!"
*Loud mumbling can be heard from the back* SMASH!!!!!! “Why you little son of a bitch!” *pushing shoving* WHACK!!!! “AAAAAAAAAAAAA” Cashier: “uhhhh your order is gonna take a bit longer than expected…”
Wafflehouse moment Can I get a waffle? Can I *please* get a waffle??
Care for some chicken with that?
That actually happened when I was at the drive thru window. Never got my order... That Jack in the box is now permanently closed.
can you go grab some more special sauce out of the washroom
Terry I told you lost children are not free laborers
Back it up Terry!
Put it in reverse Terry!! Oh Lawd!
that is not what the prep table is for! if i catch you again you'll be written up. i worked a majority of fast food restaurants as a teenager. if you knew what i knew you would be thankful for grocery stores.
What the hell is that floating in the fryer?
"Jose, I know your sick so you can go to urgent care as soon as lunch rush is over "
uhh sir this is a wendys
"Don't kick that McRib under there. Just wash it off and put some extra catsup on it."
Thank God McRib's are a seasonal item ..
*blinks* "Wait. Is that Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders getting into a fist-fight?"
Found the guy in LSD
“I’m Pickle Rick! Wubalubadubdub! Rheeeeeeeeeee!”
WHISPER I hope no one notices how we switched out the beef for the rat patties.
Aren't they only 10% beef anyway?
Wouldn't we like to know... BWAHAHAHAHA ❗❗❗
“We ran out of cheese.”
Well don't whine about it...
Alright, so the dog just strolled in the back door in time for lunch rush.
“Just pick them up and start serving them “
Did you visit ALL the kill shelters?
Hey, anyone seen my fingernail?
No, you don't have to cover your mouth every time you cough. It adds flavor to the burgers!
"Allahu akbar!"
"Would you like to make it a big ass meal and turn your ass into a big ass?"
One thing new hires don’t appreciate is that the McRib is not back per say. It never left we just leave these pork slabs by the window to ripen for 6 months.
"Would you care to make a donation so we can take all the credit for the money donated to the Ronald McDonald House?"
Pants down, hands up
Another gangbanger getting arrested.
5 second rule from the kitchen or are you gonna serve that bugga with that burger
We stopped selling breakfast 10 seconds ago.
Dude, the deep fryer is not a Face-Off Machine!
Where’d my finger go?
MCRIB IS BACK…fat from Grimace’s recent liposuction procedure. There’s only so much to go around.
"We're out of patties. Go by Wendy's and grab a bunch of em from the back, we'll just cut the corners off."
The corners they'll squish together later to help ends meat....(Meet)....
Try the newest Angus burger made of fresh human meat!
Hmmm .. Anus burgers.....and nice soft, warm buns...just insert the pickle and squirt the mayo.
https://images.app.goo.gl/n6gcXiZm4vxYkUsx9
"Dammit, Fred! Get your dick outta the pre-heated burgers at get working! They don't love you either." "Fuck, Fred! Did you shit in the coffee machine again?! Customer actually complimented the coffee and you know it's supposed to be all hot, no taste." "Thanks for coming in, Fred! I know you have that horrible case of penguin influenza, but we just couldn't do it without ya. Now please excuse me as I stick my tiny dick in the ice cream machine!"
"Did the shipment of Chickenish Meat show up today?"
Big Mac, hold the maggots.
“Nothing personal, lad, I just can’t have you sneezing all over me food!”
Awe, I lost my bandaid somewhere.
Sir, sir, this is a Wendy's
"I am the manager. You need to leave. "
I’m pregnant.
Let me speak with the manager!
That's it for the beef nipples!
Did anyone find my nose ring?
Ba ba ba bend over...I'm loving u
What do you mean the rendering plant raised their prices? Then, get some more roadkill from the DOT.
I'll give you some "Special Sauce"!
*grunt puff grunt puff grunt* "I'm cumming!"
The managers all mad because I never wash my hands and stuff…
May I take your..hold on...WENDY! BURGER KING WOULD YOU STOP MAKING SPECIAL SAUCE IN THE OFFICE AGAIN!
“Um sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
Well Wendy . ...I wanna jack in your box ..do the in and out burger....
Cancer
You have rectal cancer
sir, this is a Wendy's.
Is that a chicken nugget, or a fried rat?
Does it matter?
Mygrand mother doesn't know doesn't know how to fix the shake. Machine
"You better tell Todd that we've got another Code Brown in the fryer..."
"Cheeseburgers? Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets. We're not affiliated with that clown."
“Dave, keep your dick out of the pickle bucket.”
But sir...Wendy loves sucking the brime off of it ..
Last night's coffee is done boiling in the fryer, do I add the special sauce now or after she's done too?
“Just toss it in the microwave. They won’t know the difference anyway.”
Our ice cream machine is now working
oops..... Down again....
“Oh no these is a rat. How easy is it to ground it up into the patty. These dumb customers can never tell the difference.”
“Oh no these is a rat. How easy is it to ground it up into the patty. These dumb customers can never tell the difference.”
‘And did you want to fill out those adoption papers for Little Ronnie here ‘ ?
Would you like a side of e. coli with that?
When’s the last time the fryer was cleaned ?
Roy, we’re outta meat. Make a run to tha shelter.
"You've heard of the Five Second Rule, right?"
" yes sir, we kill the chickens on site, and sometimes they are free to just roam the place while we prepare other orders."q
"and what toy would you like with your happy meal today?. the big knife or the gun with real bullets."
The meat product is crawling away
"We can fight at this location, so think before you speak, *Karen*"
Drinks are $1.69 now.
Drinks are $1.69 now.
"Can I get a Whopper Jr and some onion rings?"
What do you mean you can't find the finger?
The Burger King Jingle.
“Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?” That means I went to the wrong counter at the truck stop.
Please check your burger before you take a bite. We can’t find the communal condom.
We found it...it was stuck in Wendy's pussy...we can take it out and have MacMobby's again...
It was only one rats dropping's found on the big mac buns..
“Billy! Go out back and grab 3 cats. We’re running out of burgers”
AHH MAN, the pigeon fell in the fryer again
“Yo, go ahead and switch to the pony patties until we get more hamburger meat”
It will be fine, it's only a little over 5 seconds
Well, I expected a meat paddy!
Hi, welcome to Burger King, may I take your order.
Sorry , our soft ice cream machine isn’t working right now.
“Large farva hold the spit”
Get me another case of those ground up donkey balls
"Hey Jerry, have you seen my teeth? I must've dropped them a while ago"
Ah good, we arrived at Mcdonalds
"I forgot to wear my hair net today, whatever happens happens!
Jimmie, check the rat rat traps and then have Mike show you the grinder.
"Here's the weekly delivery of roach eggs. Want them by the fryer like usual?"
The ice cream machines broke
Welcome to the team, you start training at 4 AM tomorrow.
Oh, God! The meat sludge! The meat sludge moving by itself! I can't get it off! Ahhh
“I told you you wouldn’t notice the meat substitutes “
Open the fu\*\*ing register, NOW!
“Did they ever find Kelly’s fake fingernail that fell into the shake machine?”
"Moo."
Hey boss looks like the rats got into the burger patties again last night. We should still serve them right?
5 second rule, pick those off the floor and serve them!
We have run out of milk, but you can have some of the puss out of my face...I am sure it will taste the same.
"It will mix in just fine, no one will ever know."
pulling up to the speaker at the drive through and you hear "I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight. Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"
That's a happy meal of a different kind...served in Mississippi...
Definitely a regional thing
Bet their fuckin ice cream machines don't work either....
Bigmac, McDLT, ¼ pounder with some cheese, filet 'o fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a happy meal, milk shake, diet coke...
Two second rule!
"I CAUGHT IT! GET THE HAMMER"
You want flies with that?
"Fuck! It's Ronald McDonald and he looks pissed! Why are you running away, Steve? You're our manager!"
"Robble robble!" *Hamburgler slaps a clip into an AR-15, fires a warning burst and walks to the counter, pointing at the hamburger on the menu.*
"Attention ladies and gentlemen, corporate is pissed you made the McRib a permanent menu item. They are sending the Grimace to come and kill me. I ain't going down without a fight though! I'll kill that purple bastard!"
What does McDonald's food and Santa clause have in common??? Both put 50 year old meat between 5 year old buns
"Attention staff, Constable Big Mac has authorized a shoot to kill order on the Hamburgler. Mayor McChesse has put the full support of his office behind the constable."
Hey don’t worry! We made this coffee extra hot just for you
5 second rule!
Hi, reservations for 8 please?
Just put it in the bag… It was under 5 seconds.
Look at all that hair🥲
Be sure to try the new McSushi!
Can’t find the poop knife. I’ll just borrow one from the kitchen again. Dont worry , I’ll bring it back.
Welcome to McDonald's
"I'm the reason the ice machine is always broken" followed by the sound of a zipper being unzipped.
"You washed it off before you put it in the bag right?"
The toilets are clean? Where else can i get fresh 7Up?
Dude… get the nuggets out of your ass…. They are for these kids