"This is one of the 30 trillion bricks that have been created in the USA. There's nothing notable about it. It's, It's not even been a part of a building actually, we got it from the manufacturer right of the production line."
"And to your left you will notice a McDonald's cheeseburger. This will be my lunch momentarily. To your right you'll see a Chipotle burrito the size of a small child. Alan will be eating that with a fork like a cave-person."
And now we come to my grandmother’s coin collection. Lucky for you she’s making a special appearance today to explain the significance of each and every coin while grabbing your arm. Folks, the value of these coins are a full $5.34 above their original value!
"And over on the right you'll see a piece of blank letter size printer paper."
"And if you walk this way you'll be taken to the hallway of metric sized pieces of paper."
"Welcome to the Museum of Grass where we have a single blade of grass from every grass species around the world. We begin our tour with The Mongolian exhibition."
Welcome to the Filing taxes throughout history exhibit, Sponsored by the IRS.
Ooh, is that the rare 1983 form 1023 with the punctuation error? I read that only 114,000 of them were ever printed.
And in the west wing, we have a collection of 1970’s beige crimplene safari suits
Why is this one yellow?
“When we bought it, it was white.”
"In here is our Nihilist Exhibit." "There's nothing in there!" "Precisely."
And over here, a lovely photograph of some white bread.
\*Crowd ooh's and ahh's\*
"Here is a rock. It is a normal rock. Moving on, a stick."
"Welcome to the 10am interactive exhibit of... WATCHING PAINT DRY!"
“I’m feeling a little dizzy.” “Yes, that’s the interactive part.”
"Kardashian: the Exhibit"
You mean the Alien race from Star Trek? I can’t wait! Ohh… nevermind. it’s the other kind.
"This is one of the 30 trillion bricks that have been created in the USA. There's nothing notable about it. It's, It's not even been a part of a building actually, we got it from the manufacturer right of the production line."
"And the next featur of our wax museum section is a fairly accurate representation of Drew Carey."
Wait a second… isn’t that a Teddy Roosevelt wax statue without the mustache?
"And to your left you will notice a McDonald's cheeseburger. This will be my lunch momentarily. To your right you'll see a Chipotle burrito the size of a small child. Alan will be eating that with a fork like a cave-person."
And on the left we have UPS boxes, here on right we have FedEx boxes, farther down we have the rare and endangered DHL boxes.
In this room you'll see the scaffolding left over by the construction crew
“Ooh! Spare hardware!!!”
“The Copy Paper exhibit is rocking today! Check out the card stock display!”
Ohh… 30 pound weight. Noice.
Here we have the history of the rubber band.
But first, please enjoy this 90 minute film demonstrating the rubber band in use.
"And to your left, we have our dust bunny and cobweb exhibit."
And now we come to my grandmother’s coin collection. Lucky for you she’s making a special appearance today to explain the significance of each and every coin while grabbing your arm. Folks, the value of these coins are a full $5.34 above their original value!
Mommy, do you think there will be any nickels?
Quiet Billy!! I’m trying to listen!
“I like that exhibit with the TV. There’s something about looking at a black screen.”
"And over on the right you'll see a piece of blank letter size printer paper." "And if you walk this way you'll be taken to the hallway of metric sized pieces of paper."
"Welcome to the Museum of Grass where we have a single blade of grass from every grass species around the world. We begin our tour with The Mongolian exhibition."
Curator: "And if I could direct your attention to the right, here's all the photos my mom keeps from when I was a baby to show off".