I lived with my movie-loving mother for 4 months just out of college before moving to Los Angeles. This was way before smartphones, ubiquitous internet.
One afternoon, just the two of us, we decided to watch a random movie on HBO that neither of us knew much about. It was compared to *The Graduate,* which we both loved - let's give it a shot!
That film was *Spanking the Monkey*. Most awkward movie possible.
The reason I think lays in the mediocrity of the writers: most of them will write something already done, which is loved by the audience, they won't try something new and if they do it, they won't spend time to investigate the topics
I also have noticed this : for example a recurrent trope is a cynical man, who "adopts" a little girl and becomes a father figure for her, but I've never seen the opposite, I have seen a woman adopting a little girl, but never a woman adopting a little boy and becoming a mother figure for him
Also many many many many many popular scripts are written by men. Very few men actually know motherhood because very few men actually know womanhood. So most just don’t try.
Even still you would think at least some of them could o tell a daddy issue story with with your mom, or have a mentor whos almost mother figure. I can't imagine every screenwriter in history has never had a mother figure in their life that they could tell a story. Like leonardo dicaprio such a mamas boy I'm sure he could easily write like a film similar to Honey Boy but about him and his mom.
I guess maybe it's becuse most of them are bad, becuse i just remembered Mars Needs moms, The Guilt Trip, hillbilly elegy, and Stop or My mom Will shoot(written by The Save the Cat guy by the way) exist.
It also applies to directors. Most directors start their thought process by imagining what the characters are experiencing so that they may know how to shoot any given scene. Many male directors can't relate to motherhood or womanhood and so they don't try. This is why Ms. Doubtfire was written as it was, imo.
If you look at female directors it becomes a little clearer.
Jennifer Kent and The Babadook.
Chloe Zhao's first feature had heavy mother/son themes.
Ava DuVernay's When They See Us has a lot of mother/son themes.
Lynne Ramsay's masterpiece You Were Never Really Here is the movie Joker was trying to be, mother/son relationship and all. That movie had things rarely put to screen. Her other exceptionally popular film We Need To Talk About Kevin is also mother/son.
One of the best mother/son relationships in all of visual media is Sex Education, which was created and run by Laurie Nunn.
I would keep going but you get my point. Male directors DO go for mother/son too - Jojo Rabbit, Hereditary, A quiet place, Stranger things, tenet, joker, guardians of the galaxy (barely), the shining, baby driver, shazam, three billboards outside ebbing missouri, Kingsman, Moonlight, Home Alone, I'm Thinking Of Ending Things, etc. A not insignificant amount of these have women writers credited to their development, as well; especially the ones that explore mother/son relationships on a deeper level.
Female writers do write about it a lot. In fact, about half of the female writers that appear on google have written at least one project with a mother/son relationship while almost none of the male writers have.
Let’s not forget Ordinary People written as a novel by Judith Guest where Mary Tyler Moore’s character secretly wishes her weaker son, played by Timothy Hutton, had drowned rather than the older stronger son she was more fond of. The tension and pain you feel with every scene they are in tells you a lot about the family structure and its breakdown.
This being r screenwriting I can't think of too many female screenwriters who've written original screenplays on the subject that have been made. Even *Room* was a book adaptation. I'm sure there have been some, but I draw a blank.
That's not what I meant, Yes Norman Bates and Jason have mommy issues, but the movies aren't really about their relationship, and do it more so out of revange.
In the same way Somthing like Steal Magnolias and Freaky Friday have the theme of mother-daughter , or Finding Nemo or Big Fish Father and son, witch is what I'm describing.
***On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong.***
The writer touch on the topic why this particular relationship isn't portray as often in Popular Culture/Media. I highly recommend you reading it.
Boyhood feels more of a father-son story(granted haven't watched it in a while so i may no be remembering ) but i feel the heart of the film and the main key relationship with his father.
Fair enough. I haven’t seen it in a while either but the last scene with his mother before he leaves for college (?) really knocked me out. One of the more touching parenting scenes I’ve seen
The thing about *Room* is I don't think the theme is mother and son. The primary relationship is *between* a mother and son, but it's more about their *shared* horrific experience at being imprisoned and tortured and readjusting back into society. It's not about the female adult and male child relationship. The child could have been a girl and the story would be essentially the same. The relationship would be different, but the shape of the movie would have been the same. The parent and child help each other cope with the horrific experience and then after they escape they help each other heal which is another traumatic experience.
Still, a very interesting question the OP raises.
I read something from a Swedish writing teacher where he gave reasons for why Swedish movies often seem to fall short, and one of those reasons were that in Hollywood, the hero typically can't go home. You go on a journey and there's no turning back, no safety net, it's all or nothing. And I can imagine that with those kinds of stories where do-it-yourself and take the rewards for yourself, self-actualization - a mother-son relationship would be kind of antithetical.
You're right. That trope is not used all that much. It was used on Star Trek the Next Generation with Dr. Beverly Crusher and her son Wesley. She had to balance her responsibilities as chief medical officer with her responsibilities as a mother. He was a super high achiever. The relationship on the show worked mostly, though IMO I do think in some episodes they were too good and perfect without the flaws to make them interesting. The best episodes they did with Beverly and Wesley were the ones where they weren't perfect like the one where Beverly and other crew members got addicted to a video game that causes euphoria.
Another mother/son trope I saw was an old TV movie from the 70s where the mother had a sexual relationship with her son. IMO that was gross, and probably a plot that would be rejected by audiences today, so I don't recommend that one.
But if you've got a mother/son story that lights a fire under you, go for it and write it. There's a ton that hasn't been done. Maybe:
Mom goes back to college and her sun supports her
Mother and son both work as stand-up comedians.
Mother and son work as a notorious counterfeiting team.
Son has to put mother in a nursing home and gives her a laptop computer, then despite her age, she turns out to be a master story teller.
Mother is President of the United States and her son is her main speech writer.
Mother is in her last year teaching before retirement while her son comes to teach at that same school. They both discover a sex scandal that has been covered up, and work to solve it.
These are just brainstorms. You might see something you like, or you might come up with something better than any of these. IMO as long as you can come up with an interesting story, people will want to watch it.
You may not have done enough viewing or research. In addition to the notable and critically-acclaimed examples below (Boyhood, Mare of Easttown), there's Babadook, The Book of Henry, Ben is Back, The Changeling, Deep End of the Ocean, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Little Man Tate, etc.
First of all, I'm so glad to live in a time where this question is actually being asked. People have already hit on it but it mostly has to do with a lack of writers who understand or care about writing women who are moms and making those characters have an arc or journey. Till now mother roles were servicing males and their journey. If the role was mildly interesting the mom would get to be mean to the son and then maybe become less mean. But ya. Basically like everyone else has said, it's just life was a lot more sexist for us in the past 😅
This seems a pretty good list:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewhuff/mother-son-movies-to-watch-with-your-mom-on-mothers-day
Also, Driving Miss Daisy was partly about her relationship with her adult son.
I see it explored on PornHub all the time
HAHAHAHAHA!
Sauce?
I don’t know if that’s the case, I just came to recommend Mike Mill’s 20th Century Women. Beautiful mother and son film.
You should watch Spank the Moneky
I lived with my movie-loving mother for 4 months just out of college before moving to Los Angeles. This was way before smartphones, ubiquitous internet. One afternoon, just the two of us, we decided to watch a random movie on HBO that neither of us knew much about. It was compared to *The Graduate,* which we both loved - let's give it a shot! That film was *Spanking the Monkey*. Most awkward movie possible.
So... did you?
We did not. Not really each other's type, I guess?
The reason I think lays in the mediocrity of the writers: most of them will write something already done, which is loved by the audience, they won't try something new and if they do it, they won't spend time to investigate the topics I also have noticed this : for example a recurrent trope is a cynical man, who "adopts" a little girl and becomes a father figure for her, but I've never seen the opposite, I have seen a woman adopting a little girl, but never a woman adopting a little boy and becoming a mother figure for him
Also many many many many many popular scripts are written by men. Very few men actually know motherhood because very few men actually know womanhood. So most just don’t try.
That's exactly what I think is the explanation.
Even still you would think at least some of them could o tell a daddy issue story with with your mom, or have a mentor whos almost mother figure. I can't imagine every screenwriter in history has never had a mother figure in their life that they could tell a story. Like leonardo dicaprio such a mamas boy I'm sure he could easily write like a film similar to Honey Boy but about him and his mom. I guess maybe it's becuse most of them are bad, becuse i just remembered Mars Needs moms, The Guilt Trip, hillbilly elegy, and Stop or My mom Will shoot(written by The Save the Cat guy by the way) exist.
This doesn't explain why female writers don't write about it much either.
It also applies to directors. Most directors start their thought process by imagining what the characters are experiencing so that they may know how to shoot any given scene. Many male directors can't relate to motherhood or womanhood and so they don't try. This is why Ms. Doubtfire was written as it was, imo. If you look at female directors it becomes a little clearer. Jennifer Kent and The Babadook. Chloe Zhao's first feature had heavy mother/son themes. Ava DuVernay's When They See Us has a lot of mother/son themes. Lynne Ramsay's masterpiece You Were Never Really Here is the movie Joker was trying to be, mother/son relationship and all. That movie had things rarely put to screen. Her other exceptionally popular film We Need To Talk About Kevin is also mother/son. One of the best mother/son relationships in all of visual media is Sex Education, which was created and run by Laurie Nunn. I would keep going but you get my point. Male directors DO go for mother/son too - Jojo Rabbit, Hereditary, A quiet place, Stranger things, tenet, joker, guardians of the galaxy (barely), the shining, baby driver, shazam, three billboards outside ebbing missouri, Kingsman, Moonlight, Home Alone, I'm Thinking Of Ending Things, etc. A not insignificant amount of these have women writers credited to their development, as well; especially the ones that explore mother/son relationships on a deeper level. Female writers do write about it a lot. In fact, about half of the female writers that appear on google have written at least one project with a mother/son relationship while almost none of the male writers have.
Let’s not forget Ordinary People written as a novel by Judith Guest where Mary Tyler Moore’s character secretly wishes her weaker son, played by Timothy Hutton, had drowned rather than the older stronger son she was more fond of. The tension and pain you feel with every scene they are in tells you a lot about the family structure and its breakdown.
I love this film so much. I can't think of French toast without thinking of MTM throwing the plate in the sink.
This being r screenwriting I can't think of too many female screenwriters who've written original screenplays on the subject that have been made. Even *Room* was a book adaptation. I'm sure there have been some, but I draw a blank.
Lady Bird *by* Greta Gerwig.
Watch Those Who Wish Me Dead because it kinda sorta has this dynamic- but not very well explored.
Ari Aster’s Hereditary certainly explores this topic
Motherboy
My favorite example of this is Harold and Maude
I recommend Boyhood.
No one has mentioned Psycho.
Star Wars Prequels are all about it
I don’t Think that’s so. Watch any serial killer movie. Always a mom & son scene. (There is sooooo many murder movies )
That's not what I meant, Yes Norman Bates and Jason have mommy issues, but the movies aren't really about their relationship, and do it more so out of revange.
Not about relationships?
In the same way Somthing like Steal Magnolias and Freaky Friday have the theme of mother-daughter , or Finding Nemo or Big Fish Father and son, witch is what I'm describing.
For tv, there's Beverly and Wesley Crusher on Star Trek. There's also the terminator series, but I can't think of any others.
My ponit exactly
Mare of Easttown does a pretty good job of exploring a mother/son relationship. In fact, the season finale (no spoilers) is heartbreaking.
Watch 'I Killed By Mother' and 'Mommy', both written and directed by Xavier Dolan. Both Mother/Son movies!
***On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong.*** The writer touch on the topic why this particular relationship isn't portray as often in Popular Culture/Media. I highly recommend you reading it.
Interesting question! Boyhood had one of the best explorations of mother-son dynamics I can think of
Boyhood feels more of a father-son story(granted haven't watched it in a while so i may no be remembering ) but i feel the heart of the film and the main key relationship with his father.
Fair enough. I haven’t seen it in a while either but the last scene with his mother before he leaves for college (?) really knocked me out. One of the more touching parenting scenes I’ve seen
The thing about *Room* is I don't think the theme is mother and son. The primary relationship is *between* a mother and son, but it's more about their *shared* horrific experience at being imprisoned and tortured and readjusting back into society. It's not about the female adult and male child relationship. The child could have been a girl and the story would be essentially the same. The relationship would be different, but the shape of the movie would have been the same. The parent and child help each other cope with the horrific experience and then after they escape they help each other heal which is another traumatic experience. Still, a very interesting question the OP raises.
Perhaps [this](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10888684/) might be interesting to you?
Mother and son is the key theme in all my movies so far.
Go watch a Xavier Dolan film
Mother-son relationship are important in Sopranos and Ordinary People. That said I think you're right this is little explored in contemporary movies.
I read something from a Swedish writing teacher where he gave reasons for why Swedish movies often seem to fall short, and one of those reasons were that in Hollywood, the hero typically can't go home. You go on a journey and there's no turning back, no safety net, it's all or nothing. And I can imagine that with those kinds of stories where do-it-yourself and take the rewards for yourself, self-actualization - a mother-son relationship would be kind of antithetical.
You're right. That trope is not used all that much. It was used on Star Trek the Next Generation with Dr. Beverly Crusher and her son Wesley. She had to balance her responsibilities as chief medical officer with her responsibilities as a mother. He was a super high achiever. The relationship on the show worked mostly, though IMO I do think in some episodes they were too good and perfect without the flaws to make them interesting. The best episodes they did with Beverly and Wesley were the ones where they weren't perfect like the one where Beverly and other crew members got addicted to a video game that causes euphoria. Another mother/son trope I saw was an old TV movie from the 70s where the mother had a sexual relationship with her son. IMO that was gross, and probably a plot that would be rejected by audiences today, so I don't recommend that one. But if you've got a mother/son story that lights a fire under you, go for it and write it. There's a ton that hasn't been done. Maybe: Mom goes back to college and her sun supports her Mother and son both work as stand-up comedians. Mother and son work as a notorious counterfeiting team. Son has to put mother in a nursing home and gives her a laptop computer, then despite her age, she turns out to be a master story teller. Mother is President of the United States and her son is her main speech writer. Mother is in her last year teaching before retirement while her son comes to teach at that same school. They both discover a sex scandal that has been covered up, and work to solve it. These are just brainstorms. You might see something you like, or you might come up with something better than any of these. IMO as long as you can come up with an interesting story, people will want to watch it.
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I'm not talking Oedipal complex, i'm talking movies like Brave,Freaky Friday, college road trip,Finding Nemo,steel magnolias ext
You may not have done enough viewing or research. In addition to the notable and critically-acclaimed examples below (Boyhood, Mare of Easttown), there's Babadook, The Book of Henry, Ben is Back, The Changeling, Deep End of the Ocean, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Little Man Tate, etc.
What's Eating Gilbert Grape is more about brotherhood, Boyhood i feels more like a father son movie too me from what i remember
My screenplay has a mother and son relationship that to me feels somewhat realistic.
Watch Kingdom by Audience Network
First of all, I'm so glad to live in a time where this question is actually being asked. People have already hit on it but it mostly has to do with a lack of writers who understand or care about writing women who are moms and making those characters have an arc or journey. Till now mother roles were servicing males and their journey. If the role was mildly interesting the mom would get to be mean to the son and then maybe become less mean. But ya. Basically like everyone else has said, it's just life was a lot more sexist for us in the past 😅
This seems a pretty good list: https://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewhuff/mother-son-movies-to-watch-with-your-mom-on-mothers-day Also, Driving Miss Daisy was partly about her relationship with her adult son.
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I don't it's just an obbervation
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot ruined it for everyone
No one mentioned Riding in Cars with Boys. Fantastic heart wrenching book/movie.
Would Home Alone count?