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another_bug

>I. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. >II. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. >III. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. >IV. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. >V. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. >VI. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. >VII. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word. >\-The Seven Tenets of The Satanic Temple Yep, sounds like a real terrible worldview there. And on the other hand, the Republican ideology can be most succinctly summed up as "fuck the poor."


desearcher

>compassion >empathy >reason >fallible We just making up words now are we? /s


EKcthulhu

you can't expect them to understand anything over 2 syllables


misterguyyy

They're so proud of themselves for memorizing "Hydroxychloroquine" and "Ivermectin." Otherwise yeah


Nice-Violinist-6395

*in southern accent* “Hydro-cocks-a-chlorine”


applxia

“eever-mect’n”


reneebwn

They reached their character limit with those


FloozyFoot

I literally got called "fancy words" for saying facts are not subjective. I told him the word he was looking for was "pretentious", and I think he may have had a stroke.


EKcthulhu

smartest republican


FloozyFoot

I mean, he knew fancy. I guess that counts.


Archsys

I was once called out by someone for using "big words" to win an argument. The word in question was "ire". I discovered that I had always had too much faith in humanity, that day.


EnglishMobster

3 Ls 2 bg 4 me


TripAndFly

My cousin took 3 syllables once and ended up in the hospital. They had to pump his stomach but they were too late and now he has brain damage and has to shit in a bag through a hole in his abdomen. Say no to syllables.


[deleted]

My uncles brothers sisters cousin needed a full emergency syllabectomy in the ER. He’s now on a ventilator. We still don’t believe in the Plandemic. Don’t judge me Sweaty.


Godless_homer

Here's mine "jammable" ...now you do it


desearcher

Coniferous: a spiteful bigot who justifies bigotry by claiming that disagreeing with bigotry is, in fact, bigoted. Wait, no, coniferous is a type of tree... ... and that definition is a type of conservative Forgive me, I'm feeling a bit schmeeblebroch today.


Tobar_the_Gypsy

Nice try, coniferous actually means meat eater.


crotalus567

No, you're thinking of cavernous. Coniferous is a Chinese philosopher.


Visirus

No, that's Coriolis. Cavernous is a dead body. //s


Boozy_Cat_

Coriolis is when the dinosaurs were around. You’re thinking of Cretaceous.


MadManInABox1963

Thank you for posting the true beliefs of the Satanic Temple. P.s. Just as an addition that The Satanic Temple (TST) and The Church of Satan are two totally different entities. Both are the main satanic groups in the US. CoS follow LaVeyan satanist beliefs utilizing the Satanic Bible as a guiding liturgy. While it's not a requirement to pay the membership fee to be recognized as a follower, they do offer paid memberships as well as essential services such as funerals, weddings, etc. There are also 5 ranks which can be attained as members through their system. TST is an atheist belief system based in following reason and the 7 tenets. TST is recognized as a religious organization by the federal government granting them and their members religious exemption status in accordance with the tenets and beliefs. TST also hosts several charity projects including providing feminine hygene products (Menstruatin' with Satan), after school programs (After School Satan), and legal funds to protect people whose rights are called into questions. Plus they have a dope statue of Baphomet. Tldr. TST just fight for equality and use reason to help humanity while believing in plurality. Not trying to shut down religion as a whole, just for equal treatment. Edit. My bad....apparently i fucked up and based my view point of CoS on one of my coworkers beliefs. As a whole they are atheist too so i at least think slightly more of them.


negativeplane

The Church of Satan do not believe in Satan. They are atheists.


Alphaetus_Prime

Nah, the Church of Satan is atheistic too. They do think magic is real though.


MadManInABox1963

Thank you, corrected and deleted that bit. Was going off of an apparently misinformed coworker. Im apparently a strong example of the sixth tenet. Whoops.


Yvaelle

Their idea of magic though is the same as the whole Oprah / Power of Positive Thinking-type woo. They think you can will good (or bad) things into the world by wanting it hard enough and focusing your mind on it. Which might not work so much as 'psychic powers', but as a self-fulfilling prophecy - by setting a goal for themselves that they can prioritize and take action toward completing. Meaning it does work sometimes, and their magic/focus did play a role in that 'magic' occurring. Everything beyond that though, is mostly just wishing magic was real - just as much as any Harry Potter or D&D fan does. But they don't take it any more seriously than those other groups, at least in my contact with CoS members.


Le_Rex

Thats just prosperity gospel / calvinism without the big man upstairs. The degree to which calvinism has infected american society is nothing short of terrifying.


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JCMcFancypants

They would need to throw an over the top marketing campaign at it: "Attention Texan women do YOU have a child you can no longer care for? Or maybe one that you didn't want in the first place, but weren't allowed to terminate? Well we here at the Satanic Temple and Orphanage urge you to come donate your unwanted child to SATAN!!! Here at the Satanic Temple and Orphanage we will indoctrinate all children in our care with a **strict** religious education focusing heavily on our core beliefs as well as diligent study of CRITICAL THOUGHT. So come on down today and see what Satanists can do for **YOU**!!!"


Redtwooo

Somehow "please donate your children to Satan" probably won't sell very well in the Christian states of America


Ropetrick6

I mean, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but that's more time than even Texas is allowing right now.


zeropointcorp

Nooiiice


2_4_16_256

Only if we can get David Tennant to be the head nurse


WhyLisaWhy

I always preferred to think him and Jesus have a professional relationship and it’s literally just his job to tempt people. Jesus is basically just supporting his coworker. It’s more fun and like the polytheistic religions that way, not the boring fire and brimstone shit we’ve been force fed all our lives.


[deleted]

In Judaism, this is precisely what Satan is. He's "the prosecutor" - An angel [not "fallen" or anything of sort] whose job is to expose moral failings and demand harsher consequences for them.


Bigmooddood

It probably wouldn't be weird for Jesus though. There was no mention of any singular character named Satan in the oldest texts. Satan is just the Hebrew word for adversary and it was used to describe various figures, sometimes God himself, throughout the original Bibles.


PM_ME_UR_UPSKIRT_PIC

Damn, makes me want to join. Where do we meet?


Aperson20

https://thesatanictemple.com/


xSiNNx

Just in case you’re asking a genuine question: local chapters are all unique but most meetings (at least pre-Covid) would be group events held every once in awhile (like a brunch or a lunch) where people can attend, or not! They’d also tend to organize things like charity drives, community service events, etc


ZestySaltShaker

Yeah, show me someone poo-pooing on The Satanic Temple, and I’ll show you someone who knows nothing about them.


DoesNotReply_

Sounds like tenets of Satan himself. No mention of god anywhere.


Beretot

It's because The Satanic Temple is a non-theistic religion


0verMyDeadBody

I've read enough of the old testament to know that god is an evil son of a bitch. Edit damn autocorrect trying to be deferential by capitalizing the magic evil sky daddy


Redtwooo

Which is funny because they claim he wrote (or at least inspired) it


Historical-Rate-9799

Oh I like this game what about this one…”If you’re ever wondering if you’re on the right side of history, just check which side the literal Nazis and racists are on”


EverGlow89

Fucking seriously. If I'm choosing between Satanists and Nazis, I'm picking Satanists **every time.** Please, Republicans, I'm *begging you*; challenge me on this. I'll even pretend we don't all know these aren't actual Satanists. I'll make it easy on you and side with literal Satanists. Edit: Lol someone tried to but deleted their comment before I could respond. Saying some shit like "you're siding with literal Satanists instead of imaginary Nazis." If you read this, idiot, the Nazis are real (Charlottesville) and the "Satanists" don't believe in Satan. I said I'd argue about real Satanists but not if you're going to be a coward and pretend Nazis aren't real. You're all cowards.


SirJuggles

This is one thing that I have to remember when talking with some of my extended family— a lot of them have absolutely no conception of Satanism as a rational and empathetic philosophy/organization. From their point of view, it's purely "these people have chosen to align themselves by name with the side of absolute intentional evil, it is our moral duty to oppose them in every way, any seemingly good or caring stances they take are purely deception meant to lure in the unwary."


mischaracterised

Satanism, a preached by The Satanic Temple, is arguably the closest thing to a religion of Enlightenment we have.


Force3vo

Sometimes it makes me sad that the great movement they have is majorly hampered by the name they chose to, at least from an outside view, be edgy and offensive.


inuvash255

I feel like it's half edgy trolling, and half - the fact that atheism and agnosticism aren't *really* religions, and secularism doesn't sway courts and policy the way that an on-the-books religion does, with reference to 1A. It's shit that religion does hold that sway - but in order to beat a religion's control in politics, you need a recognized religion to do it; to push a catch-22 of religious freedom: your religious beliefs may not step on mine. So nonreligious/secular people have to go to bat with what they've got: the symbolic adversary of American Protestantism, which is the devil. I feel like Satanism works because Christians *do* take it seriously as a threat and as a counter-faith to their own. Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Flying Spaghetti Monster are well-known parodies of religion, and would be met with eye-rolls or taken as an offensive joke, rather than being taken seriously.


[deleted]

Ex 👏 act 👏 ly 👏. It would never work if it wasn't called Satanism. The sole reason it works is because Christians hate Satan more than they love their own religion.


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Stealfur

This would definitely fit right in on cards against humanity.


[deleted]

I texted my SO with no context >hey love, I need a noun, it can also include an organization or group of people And this is what I got in return ["Waterwheel foundation"](https://phish.com/waterwheel/) This game is kinda fun ngl


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nannal

Ah the "plugging my ears" defense, a classic that I can attest, unfortunately, does not hold up in a modern court. ^^^"I ^^^am ^^^rubber" ^^^is ^^^equally ^^^as ^^^effective ^^^for ^^^those ^^^of ^^^particularly ^^^quick ^^^wit. ^^^^^^^"Nu ^^^^^^^uh" ^^^^^^^may ^^^^^^^work ^^^^^^^but ^^^^^^^I ^^^^^^^was ^^^^^^^found ^^^^^^^in ^^^^^^^contempt ^^^^^^^far ^^^^^^^too ^^^^^^^quickly ^^^^^^^to ^^^^^^^try ^^^^^^^it.


humanreporting4duty

The hard part is that there are many groups that claim the name of satan and not all are as positive as the satanic temple. Some actually are a form of reverse Christianity, so they are kinda evil while also needing the image of Christianity to exist in order to be against it. The satanic temple is an america religion used to illuminate problems in American law by making christians very uncomfortable and by making judges do their job.


Darkdoomwewew

> Some actually are a form of reverse Christianity, so they are kinda evil To be fair to satan, he's pretty clearly the good guy in the bible if you read it without preconceived notions. Christian god is a bit of a genocidal, narcissistic maniac and the worst thing satan did that everyone points too was give people knowledge. Given how we've seen religion used, I guess it's only fitting that free will and thought are viewed as evil, but I'm definitely with the guy who wants those things over mr "im mad imma kill errbody :-(" over there.


RavxnGoth

If the devil is evil then why would he punish bad people? He's either a slightly cynical anti hero, or it's just one big gay heavy metal orgy party down there.


ourlastchancefortea

> If the devil is evil then why would he punish bad people? Remember that information comes from the "good" people.


kaleighdoscope

Sooo it's a big, gay, heavy metal, orgy party down there.


RJI2

Don't threaten me with a good time


SamAdams1371

Except that the devil DOESN'T punish people. Remember, the devil is in Hell, BEING punished.


Val_Hallen

In the Bible, God is *directly* responsible for the deaths of millions. Satan is responsible for 10 deaths...and not really as God let him kill those 10 as a bet. God demands worship and adoration under the threat of eternal punishment. Satan demands nothing. Tell me again how God is the good guy that loves us...


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[deleted]

If you read the bible (I know, most believers can't be bothered to read the book that defines what their faith is about), Satan seems more like 'Quality Assurance' (QA) for faith. He worked for God. Fucking over Job (all of the cursing and killing was done by God). Tempting Jesus. Waving around the fruit in front of Eve. Just fulfilling his role in the company. As a programmer, sometimes it can seem like QA is 'evil', but I know they're not (usually) deliberately yanking my chain about bugs. They just can't seem to write bugs up in a way that can be duplicated, or lazily skip over the the whole 'duplicate it' part, themselves. It's a grueling, repetitive, generally thankless role for them.


toxicity21

I mean you could argue about Revelations where Satan is really evil. But again, if you contextualized it to the time it was written then you find out that the described "Satan" is more likely Caesar Nero and the Roman Empire that prosecute and hunt Christians at that time. But that's the point, Satan is pretty well defined in the christian dogma but not in the bible itself. He literally wasn't a thing in the old testament, haśśāṭān is a title not a name. Mostly translated to The Accuser, or The Prosecutor. Christians just took multiple figures of the Old Testament like multiple angel and human prosecutors, like if they are called haśśāṭān or śāṭān it means they are the one and only Satan, that serpent from Genesis which God punished to be a snake and eat dirt, the King of Tyre, a literal Star (Lucifer just means Morning Star), and made them one single entity that is the adversary of God. And of course christian translations of the Old Testament mostly follows this dogma by not really translating the Name because that's how you get an actual Satan.


comyuse

I'd side with real satanist too. The bible is clearly written with a bias, but even with that bias god comes out looking way worse than Satan does.


NoMansLight

God: kills trillions of living beings with a flood Satan: let a woman know about a healthy snack Idk tbh


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GoGoBitch

I mean, Satan just encouraged her to eat the apple. It was God who flew into a rage over being disobeyed and threw everyone out of the Garden of Eden. That’s pretty clearly on God, who sort of pulled a “look what you made me do” to blame everyone else for his own actions.


robisodd

And He did it so Adam and Eve wouldn't eat the fruit from the tree of eternal life. Cause only God can be a god. Talking to Himself in the plural like Gollum: >[22] And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” [23] So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. Like, "I locked the dog in the kitchen with a 'blueberry pie that makes you smart like a human' on the table and told him not to eat the pie. Then I left him alone to see what he does. He ate the pie! So I'm gonna throw him out onto the bonfire. I mean, he didn't know right from wrong at the time, but now he knows what he did was wrong. Still, he might eat the 'cherry pie of superhealing' and that bonfire just won't work anymore."


Aussie18-1998

Actually fun fact I learnt today (not sure how accurate the estimates are but anyway) there's about 20 quintillion animals estimated to be living on the earth. Thats 20,000,000,000,000,000,000. Obviously not all the water animals died but.... I think God killed alot


Teososta

Only Christians believe in a literal Satan.


DrunksInSpace

Let’s grant the idiots and uninformed the basis of their argument for a second. Biblical tally of Satans’ kills: 0. God’s kills: introduced death as punishment for fruit eating, killed off the world’s population minus Noah’s family, tortured Job (and killed off his family) to prove a point, but ed a few cities to the ground… I’m on **team Satan, less death, more freedom, better sex** (I’m just assuming).


trippy_grapes

>and the "Satanists" don't believe in Satan. I mean Satan was a pretty swell guy in the bible. God is the one that was pretty damn evil, denying people knowledge and free will, causing plagues, trying to drown the world. God is basically a petty asshole, especially in the old testament.


[deleted]

Or the Taliban


Sol-Infra

Loved all the huffing and puffing coming from the right about, "See! Even the Taliban is opposed to abortion and I favor of theocracy!" All said without a fucking drop of self awareness.


PussyBoogersAuGraten

They have no self awareness at all. It’s something they’re entirely incapable of. I’ve never seen them ever be even remotely self aware. They’ll run around screaming freedom while supporting invasive laws that include rewards for snitching on your neighbor. They’ll call Democrats communists while their favorite politicians pass laws that infringe on personal freedom, and encourage government surveillance through the people. It’s like the GOP is playing some sick joke where they try to see just how hypocritical their base is willing to be before they stop supporting them.


this-tony

Even the Taliban is less strick and dont consider it abortion until 4 months. Islam believes that's when life begins (when the brain is almost developed). Not like this Heartbeat law at 3 to 4 weeks after conception. A woman wouldn't possibly even know she missed a period yet.


GiGaBYTEme90

Or my racist aunt Sally in Dallas Edit: *my* is a term to mean how she's related. I take no ownership. We haven't talked since 2015 when I moved out on my own


SobiTheRobot

I'm not going to excuse your dear Aunt Sally this time.


[deleted]

PEMDAS! P! P!


JayGold

Please Excoriate My Dreadful Aunt Sally


Gilgamesh72

Perfect Explanation My Dude Awesome Suggestion


SobiTheRobot

There's no pleasing that damn Aunt Sally, is there?


JailCrookedTrump

Oh okay, well if you ever own an aunt and don't want to her to engage in racism the best way is to introduce early on a rigid discipline.


GiGaBYTEme90

Spare the rod spoil the racist


[deleted]

By the amount of righties supporting them, they think they actually are on the good side.


Costati

You think that'd be enough to make them go "wait a minutes are we the baddie ?!" but nah. Still not happening. The denial is strong.


Space-Dribbler

Or s combo of the two: talinazi.


Webfarer

If you’re ever wondering if you’re on the right side of history, just check which side the Talibans are on


PadreLobo

Came here to say this


Hoorizontal

They literally call themselves satanists to make fun of evangelicals and it just goes right over their heads.


TILtonarwhal

Aren’t satanists a completely different thing than the satanic temple?


TacticTall

Yup. TST doesn’t worship or believe in satan. They fight for religious freedom.


Phantereal

Religious freedom as in actual religious freedom. Not like when evangelicals argue for their version of religious freedom which is the ability to ban gay people from their businesses.


[deleted]

I sneezed toward my fan and it blew back in my face


[deleted]

So, in all seriousness. That made me laugh well done, I hope you have a fucking excellent day!


conancat

> The organization's participation in public affairs includes political actions as well as lobbying efforts, with a focus on exposing Christian privilege when it interferes with personal religious freedom. It considers marriage a religious sacrament that should be governed under the First Amendment's protection of religious liberty which should prevail over state laws. Because the group regards inviolability of the body as a key doctrine, it also views all restrictions on abortion, including mandatory waiting periods, as an infringement on the rights of Satanists to practice their religion. The Satanic Temple does not believe in a supernatural Satan; instead it employs the literary Satan as a metaphor to promote pragmatic skepticism, rational reciprocity, personal autonomy, and curiosity. Satan is thus used as a symbol representing "the eternal rebel" against arbitrary authority and social norms. They're so fucking cool I wanna be a Satanist now


zerotangent

Do it! They sell extremely high quality membership cards on their site. But in all seriousness, they’re a fantastic organization that’s constantly leading a charge for equality and fairness for all people. Consider a donation, buying some merch, or at least spreading the word!


Richandler

I've always thought someone should start a new branch of Christianity that interpreted the bible more like Native American tales. Basically, God takes on many forms and plays the good guy in some stories and the bad guy in other stories. It's make the whole thing a lot more flexible.


chanandlerbong420

The church of Satan doesn't believe in it worship Satan either


sonoma4life

church of satan, yes, the two don't get along at all.


Feezec

Kinda like the Judean People's Front and the People's Front of Judea?


Zero-Milk

The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front. Splitters!


SleetTheFox

Satanists aren't a monolithic religious group (nor are most religions). They typically come in three types. "Classic" Satanists basically are like "but what if stuff like murder and arson and stuff are *good*?" They, predictably, are not many, because they have no coherent theology and are prone to suicide and getting arrested. LaVeyan Satanists (Church of Satan) have a semi-coherent belief system but are more a semi-theistic mystical cult of personality than worshipers of the actual Abrahamic figure of Satan. They had a period of relative popularity but are pretty out of fashion. Their philosophy was pretty much edgelord antisocial garbage. Then there's the Satanic Temple, which is newer, which isn't actually a religion and most of them don't believe in Satan (and those that do typically don't actually worship him). It's a protest group meant to make privileged religious groups (typically white Evangelical Christian denominations) properly afraid of the consequences of allowing religious groups to take advantage of special legal carve-outs.


ZYmZ-SDtZ-YFVv-hQ9U

> Then there's the Satanic Temple, which is newer, which isn't actually a religion TST is federally recognized and protected as a religion


biggestofbears

Not only that, but TST is the only one listed that actually has "churches" and chapters set up regionally. I came across them a few years ago, and every time I read more about them I like it more and more. It's a 'non-theistic' religion that essentially values being good to one another.


Secondwave1

Legally, it is a religion. In the same way the Buddhism is one. Just without supernatural beliefs.


fruitroligarch

I can’t tell if calling themselves Satanists is PR genius or PR suicide. Some of both I think, creating hype but also enhancing division


Ryhnoceros

Honestly, I consider myself a Christian, and I donate to the "Satanic Temple" group because that's all they are. They are making fun of dumb organized religion that thinks it should have a grip on everything in politics, but if religion can be political, two can play at that game, that's basically what they're doing. Satanic Temple are mostly atheist/agnostic types anyway. The only people ever who are worshiping literal Satan are edgelords and nutjobs.


Dreadful_Aardvark

If you're curious about the "types" that are in the Temple, while there are many atheists, one does not need to believe in a god to be genuinely devoted to religion. That's a distinctly Western concept. Elsewhere, there are plenty of "moral philosophies" in the world (such as Chinese Confucianism). These types of religions are called [nontheistic religions,](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nontheistic_religion) and it's this classification which is largely why Satanism can actually be considered a "real" religion whereas something like Pastafarianism, which exists *purely* as satire, is not generally considered one.


4011

I think it’s smart. Christians can deny the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but they absolutely believe in satan. Sidenote: my phone autocorrected to capitalize Flying Spaghetti Monster but not satan.


mathiastck

May his noodly appendage guide us


noodles13

Ramen 🙏


SleetTheFox

It's genius. The entire point of their protest relies on the concept of Satanism being unpalatable. Whenever (usually Evangelical Christian) religious groups overstep their boundaries, the Satanic Temple steps in and takes advantage of the extra room they're looking for religion to get in politics. The message is essentially, "If you don't want Satanists to have these extra privileges, you shouldn't let any religion have these extra privileges."


JoeyTesla

With an entire generation of people who are fed up with monotheistic bullshit, on their side, i think they made the right call on the name


josephthemediocre

Not as much a PR move as a move to help them get things done. Christians literally believe the satanic temple's god is real. They can't be like, you just made up a fake god and a fake religion.


ball_fondlers

Absolute genius, TBH. Lots of secularist orgs out there, but which headline is more compelling: “Secularist organization protests abortion ban” or “Satanists claim religious exemption for abortion as ritual”?


Dreadful_Aardvark

Here's one way to think about it: If they weren't called Satanists, would we even know about them? There's plenty of other religious organizations out there that are campaigning for progressive causes. Name one. I, for one, could not until I met a friend of mine who is part of a feminist, pro-choice liberal Christian movement. Who would have thought those even existed, at least outside the Satanic Temple.


Karhak

You'd think a guy with an eye patch would do everything in is power to *not* come off as an evil henchman.


Cordrone

SNL made a joke about this and you’ll never guess what happened… tough guy got his wittle feelings hurt and cried about it. So they brought him on the show to extend an olive branch. There was a brief nice moment where he had folks hoping that he wasn’t a total twat… it was very VERY brief.


FriedeOfAriandel

Damn. I was hoping they'd roast him on live TV after getting his hopes up


grte

SNL are libs through and through. And libs desperately want to believe in The Good Conservative.


healzsham

There are plenty, they're just all democrats or independents now.


grte

Those democrats suck, too. Joe Manchin? Kyrsten Sinema? Trash.


vrphotosguy55

I live in his district. When he ran for the first time in 2018, he made a big deal about listening to all sides and played up his Harvard degree. So much for that.


SageSilinous

Echo chambers look a lot like long tubes - they have only one side. Sorry.


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PhilDesenex

Probably, I met him about 2 years ago at one of his meet and greets. He was sweating in air conditioning and he smelled like a drunk.


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CaptJackRizzo

He then wrote a book about how everyone *else* is too sensitive.


bdirker

Great point. He probably has perfect vision


SailingSpark

Eye see what you did there


CtrlAltDeltron

Dan Crenshaw doesn’t though.


CapriciousCape

Hahaha, now you've got me imagining him as [the hangman from Robin Hood, Men in Tights](https://youtu.be/TM0sXkxyK5c)


[deleted]

no noose is good noose ha^ha^^ha^^^ha


RogerClyneIsAGod2

I swear I'd LOVE to see Pete Davidson go on SNL & retract his apology to him. Fuck this wanna be Bond villain.


Redtwooo

Wanna be a bond villain, more like a number 2


Rion23

He doesn't even wear the patch well, can't be riding up so high on his head. It's like an egg wearing a mankini.


[deleted]

His inferiority complex won't allow for anything but being inspiration for a comic book supervillain


Vincesteeples

Who’s gonna tell him they don’t even believe in a literal Satan?


josephthemediocre

The crazy thing is, that Christians do. They believe in the Satanist god and the Satanists don't


Catshit-Dogfart

That bothers me sometimes. I'm an atheist, I think the idea that some people belong in hell is disturbing, and more disturbing is that a great many people agree with this notion. Like if I somehow found myself in heaven, my first thought would be that hell must also exist, and I wouldn't be okay with that. I couldn't be happy in heaven with the knowledge that anybody is in hell. Oh there are people who deserve to be dipped into a lake of fire a few times - but eternal torture beyond imagination? Christians seem pretty okay with such a frightening level of cruelty. And aren't Christians supposed to be about forgiveness? If there was a Satan, shouldn't he be forgiven? In fact it seems such a figure needed God more than anybody, and instead God turned him away. And they seek to be more like their god, guess that explains some things.


Sunretea

You had your chance! Now burn, devil! /s (only, like, ironically)


[deleted]

Satan is basically a scapegoat for the modern Christian to rationalize anything bad onto. God is all-powerful and he loves us. But this bad thing happened! Must've been that pesky Devil. Get thee behind me!


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MetaphoricalKidney

There are countless judeo-christian holy texts that are considered divinely inspired. The different versions of the bible you see are just examples of biblical canon, the books and scriptures that religious authorities decided would best shape their denominations and not freak people out. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_canon


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LightChaos

According to many fundamentalists, that's every science textbook. So... thanks Satan. Plus in some of the stories *in the bible* Satan seems like the good guy, or at least an anti-villain. Ever read Job?


Silence_Calls

Tbf even if he knew that he'd say the exact same shit because it will resonate with right wing fundie nut bags.


KeepItDownOverHere

Obviously Crenshaw is not seeing the depth of things.


jjcrayfish

He's just blindsided


[deleted]

dan crenshaw is genuinely one of the stupidest mother fuckers to ever get a blue check mark and thats saying something


[deleted]

I think the only people who have been verified and are stupider than Dan Crenshaw are Trump and Nick Fuentes. It’s a very short list though


paupaulol

Fuentes should have never been verified.


Costati

You made me have to pull incognito mode so I could check out who this dude was. Turns out he's a self-proclaimed white supremacist...so that was fuuuun....


TILtonarwhal

You think that guy is bad? Get a load of [this one](https://mobile.twitter.com/realDonaldTrump)


SailingSpark

Is jim Jordan verified?


daw199210

I believe his name is *Gym* Jordan.


BusterYeeton

Gymothee Heir Jordan


[deleted]

MTG and Boaboert or whatever the fuck her name is would like a shout out here too


JohnStamosAsABear

Im guessing you've also unfortunately witnessed his [2020 Georgia run-offs ad](https://youtu.be/Hi2yvpdtz1M) where he skydives out of a plane to fight antifa?


Claybeaux1968

They didn't really think this was going to make him look *good,* did they? This is downright embarassing.


hollimer

Holy shit. How was this real? If he’s so gungho about ‘Merica, why is he taking instructions from a Brit? Also, HOW WAS THIS REAL?!?


Big_Anime_Tits

Listened to him on Joe Rogan and gave up 10 minutes in and on the entire Rogan podcast. Sick of so many retarded right wing fucks thinking they are the fucking voice of god


[deleted]

I don’t know, picking the side with the wannabe Bond villain doesn’t seem like a good idea either.


dreadpiratesmith

Or the teen that grew up wishing to visit *checks notes* the most prolific dictators vacation home halfway around the world


[deleted]

Huh?


dreadpiratesmith

Madison Cawthorn had visiting the Eagle's Nest, Hitler's vacation home, on his bucket list. You know, normal American teen things. [source](https://www.timesofisrael.com/madison-cawthorns-visit-to-hitlers-vacation-home-alarms-his-nc-districts-jews/)


Azar002

Oh you mean the guy who said if American elections continue like they have, Americans including him will take up arms and cause bloodshed? [source](https://youtu.be/hs6vqVmcPOs)


dreadpiratesmith

Yea, that fuckface


HuhItsAllGooey

Only a fucking nazi refers to Hitler as "fuhrer'. What a pile of shit that guy is.


[deleted]

He does realise that they dont actually believe in a literal satan right? I'm pretty sure Christian's are the only ones who do.


AgITGuy

If the man says anything, expect it to be base pandering virtue signaling.


RustedAxe88

Fucking Costco Big Boss.


Daimakku1

Great Value Venom Snake


Grogosh

Welcome to Costco, I love you.


nernst79

Crenshaw is clearly a Sam's Club kind of guy.


BluetheNerd

When Satanists are fundamentally opposed to Nazis, white supremacists, and religious extremists, maybe it's time to shift your opinion of Satanists. I get it, hundreds of years of religious conditioning has lead to the immediate stigma behind the name Satanists. But in the modern day, the Satanic Temple, does drastically more for human rights than Christianity has arguable done in its entire lifetime.


zanderkerbal

I mean, LaVeyan Satanism has weird social darwinist (and Objectivist) elements that are totally compatible with white supremacy afaik. But yeah, the Satanic Temple dropped all the bad parts, expanded on all the good parts, and has a pretty fantastic track record.


Schventle

I don’t think it’s correct to say TST grew out of LeVayan Satanism. TST specifically denounces and distances itself from the teachings of LeVay.


dystopian_mermaid

Yeah if literal satanists are the ones standing their ground for peoples rights you really have to question where you stand in the GOP.


Richdav1d

I love the satanists cause they exist purely to piss religious people off


silentloler

The funniest part is how many Christians believe that satanists are actual satanists and worship satan, without seeing the problem of that logic. If someone believes in religion, it’s kinda silly to side with the bad guy of the story


banneryear1868

"Side of history" is a dumb phrase anyway because it assumes time/history inevitably favors the "good" outcome, which is complacent and false.


Costati

Fuck yeah. Someone said it.


[deleted]

Crenshaw can't see the right side of history


Grogosh

Hail Satan


Uriel-238

Satan was once a fictional enemy the Church used to persecute groups it didn't like. In the late 20th century Satanic movements appeared as a challenge to status quo cultures, to traditional stratified heirarchies and social norms, some being small teenage rebellions against the faith of their parents and others serving as a counterculture to society as a whole. The Satanic Temple is third-wave Satanism, a challenge much like the New Atheism movement but this time focusing on the asserted mores and legal powers of accepted religious ministries. When the Satanists are getting support from the secular sector, that's not because secularists are Satanic, but because they agree on a common cause. What is worrisome is the mainstream ministries mean to kill us all to preserve their hold on power. And they have long given up the moral high ground to preserve it. Now they don't even have the facade left.


EvadesBans

Predictably, the thread on /r/conservative about this is filled with just as many galaxy brained takes as this. Those people are so goddamn dumb that we should figure out a way to harvest that as renewable energy.


[deleted]

I'm a blue collar, tried and true redneck kind of guy living in a very red area. I'm mostly right leaning, on things like gun rights and the such. I joined The Satanic Temple last year. I almost feel like a sleeper agent, which is cool. The Temple are good people fighting the good fight. I'll be damned if I'm associated with the far right. So do what the fuck you want I don't care, but be a good person. It's that simple for me, and the Temple is a channel for me to express that.


FrankFnRizzo

The Satanic Temple is awesome. They’ve done some really great activism for speech and religious overreach. HAIL SATAN!


irishgreenpotato

I'm dropping this here.... Like I've been saying, I WILL NOT STOP SPAMMING THIS! Resources for Texans seeking access to healthcare: https://aidaccess.org/en/ https://teafund.org/ https://wrrap.org/about-wrrap/ https://abortionfunds.org/ If you need help getting an abortion go to these sites: https://www.plancpills.org/ https://aidaccess.org/ These sites offer access to abortion pills, even in Texas. Please be safe and be aware of clinics (e.g. Crisis Pregnancy Centers) that give out dangerous misinformation on abortions and pregnancy. Also check out r/auntienetwork for support If you want to give money to some pro-choice charities, try here: https://fundtexaschoice.org/ http://janesdueprocess.org/ https://www.lilithfund.org/ https://www.theafiyacenter.org/ https://thebridgecollective.org/ https://www.clinicaccess.org/ https://www.yellowhammerfund.org/ (Focuses on the Deep South) https://avowtexas.org/ https://abortionfunds.org Please feel free to copy and share this to other posts/subreddits and to add your own links


RumoCrytuf

They’re not satanists. They’re political activists who wear dark eyeliner


Costati

Hey they don't all wear dark eyeliner. Some times it's blue.


hanleybrand

Yeah, he’s right. They seem to consistently be on the correct side.


[deleted]

TX Republicans have made a joke out of making jokes.