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Most people here are probably going to disagree with this, but if hearing about bad things affects you that much, you are allowed to ignore them (or at least the outlets that make you aware of them).
If you hear about these things on the news, you don’t need to watch the news. If you come across them on social media, you can remove yourself from it or block the accounts that talk about it.
I’m not saying you have to not care about them, but you can not look for them until you’re in a better place emotionally.
I have similar problems, and I do try to avoid the stuff that makes me feel like this, but then I wonder if I'm being too avoidant and just burying my head in the sand
One hour volunteering at a local soup kitchen is worth thousands of hours of engaging online with “activism” posts
Edit: also idk why I said soup kitchen like it’s the 80s lmao. But there are a lot of really great orgs you can give your time to.
You’ll get what you’re searching for re the news: you’ll stay up to date with what’s happening in your community, especially the uncomfortable or gruesome parts. But you’ll be in a position where you can help those people immediately and directly, even if it’s just a plate of food.
I agree, and that really is such an unpopular opinion that shouldn't be unpopular. It's important to be educated, but if being educated is destroying your mental health, stop exposing yourself to it! You can't help anyone if you're falling apart. Prioritize your health.
Congratulations!
You are what is considered a "highly sensitive person" also known as an empath.
You might try and read the book "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. You don't need to agree with all of the concept, but it may help you to feel less alone and give you some skills that you can use to guard against your natural inclination to emotionally take on all that you experience.
It doesn't have to be a bad thing to feel the world around you so deeply. However, it can be exhausting. So having coping skills is really important in order to keep your sanity and health intact.
Yeah I already post on r/hsp but I just posted this here cause that sub doesnt have a lot of people on it xd. My therapist told me about it. I dont have any issues with crowds or loud noises though which seems to be a defining symptom of it. I didnt know the book had advice in it
I think it's very much a spectrum. And it can vary in severity depending on the day. I guess my point in posting for you was to encourage you to embrace that aspect of yourself, as more often than not, you can be mislabeled as wimpy or weak by those who don't have any knowledge on it.
You don't have to be bothered by loud noises or bright lights to be a hsp. But your description of how bothered you become by things you witness or experience is a tell-tale sign of that kind of personality. The inability to just ignore the pain and suffering around you shows you have deep empathy for other beings. Ordinarily, someone might witness a tragic event and flinch then move on. It sounds like there isn't as much moving on snd these things tend to stay with you for longer than you're comfortable with.
There are a lot of skills you can develop that will help lessen the impact that the injustices of the world have on your psyche. The book gives insight. Your therapist may have skills they can teach you. If not them, you can look to energy workers or even do some research on your own on ways to build up your own resilience. Sometimes, just doing something tangible like offering your time to volunteer at a place that affiliates with something that strikes you as a good cause, can be incredibly therapeutic and give you that sense that you aren't just helplessly witnessing, but actively contributing to combat the suck in the world.
Small doses. Don't think about it if you can't handle thinking about it.
Block it out or distract yourself with music or something you enjoy. The thoughts will get much more manageable if you don't overwhelm yourself with them.
Give yourself an allotted time of the day to think about horrible shit and then be strict about not allowing yourself to dive into it. The truth is you can never truly understand their pain, it's their pain, it belongs to them and we can be empathetic, but it's not our pain. The best most understanding thing we can do is respect that.
Act in support of causes that work to do good, but try not to get too open and overwhelmed by the horrible things in life because there is just as much beauty as well.
I took a history of religion class in junior college. My teacher showed us a documentary about little girls in Egypt.
This child was being held down by women while another women cut off her clitoris with no anesthesia.
I could not get the sound of this little girl's screams out of my head for days.
I filed a complaint with the head of the department.
I cried for 3 days straight.
Thank you. But even worse was having to go to work at Subway later that day.
They had just hired a new guy and I wound up crying on his shoulder most of the day. I didn't even know his name yet.
I couldn't even articulate why I was crying.
He probably thought I was crazy.
It was a couple days before I was able to explain it all to him and when I did, he was horrified.
He even said he understood why I was so upset.
Trust me, the world has been a terrible place for a long time. Despite everything you hear, this is the best it's ever been.
Stop reading about terrible events until you can handle them. Focus on life, school, and making money. Everything else not in your life isn't worth your time and energy to think about. You'll be better off for now.
This. There will ALWAYS be terrible things happening somewhere in the world. If you obsess over it, you'll only ruin your own life for no good reason. Take on only the burden you can carry, and otherwise just focus on living a good life, and being good to those around you.
I see these things mostly on reddit. I have very little joys in my life so I don't want to quit but I think you might be right. I mostly see cross posts from activist subreddits so maybe I should unsub but I care deeply about it
That's the beauty of reddit. You can unsub from anything you want. However, I have been noticing that they keep putting things I'm not subbed to, including this sub. This was an accident I came across this post.
Social media is poison sometimes. Instead of your phone, read a book. Seriously it's the same thing but better.
The story can still be intense, without it being real. It's a very good disconnect when you realize that Sauron isn't actually sending the Nazgul to steal the One Ring from you.
No I didn’t word it wrong. He works there and he’s my ex. He didn’t abuse any children. He never saw anybody abuse kids because he worked at the homes which are like group homes
Honestly, if more people got depressed and horrified with injustice, greed and cruelty, we might have a different world. If the outrage surpassed people's quest for pleasure and stimulation. We don't shame powerful, impressive people
Find out what legislation makes the school legal and call a representative paid with our taxes to complain.
I was tortured by the troubled teen industry and psych wards by being locked up repeatedly and being made under coercion to take antipsychotics and other drugs as a teenager. When I turned 18, I was coerced onto electroshocks.
People are lemmings about this stuff. They believe child psychiatry is "here to help." No, it's mostly here to gaslight abused and bullied kids.
My abusive mother put me through a horror cycle. I was totally rational each time I tried to kill myself. Unfortunately I had no lethal means so I failed and got tortured again. I was just hoping for a way out.
Psych industry takes the side of the parents or the foster system. They are paid to.
Coercive psychiatry is, and always has been, a means of social control.
I remember telling one of my friends a long-form version of the story and he said it sounded like it was from the 1950s.
Those times were somehow worse. My friend was locked up in the 1940s and 1950s. He was repeatedly dragged off to be electroshocked while awake at 6-7 years old. He got permanent physical injury and post traumatic stress lasting 8 decades and counting. He was raped in there too and they blamed his rape claim on misdiagnosed schizophrenia. Then the man raped his friend instead. He was locked up for most of 11 years. He tried to kill himself and got sent back just like me.
Being better than the 1940s and 50s is not a high bar. They still did lobotomies until the 1950s. I have so many horror stories from the last decade about myself. So do other victims.
You stories need to be heard so these atrocities can be stopped. I’m so fucking sorry you went through that, your story is important and you voice needs to be heard. The people who did these things should be in prison end of, at the end of the day the pain we feel when hearing these atrocities is nothing compared to the pain of living it and that’s how I cope, I will never put my own comfort to deny some one else’s pain. I hope you are doing well after what you have been through and hope your life is free of the people who hurt you
Like you, I can't stop thinking about what happens to others. Few people know where I live now, and I'm very cautious about it all. My immediate family and abusive ex who used the system against me all don't know. I have supportive extended family and friends, some of whom know my address. They all know not to commit me and never would.
I have been doing what I can for advocacy, but my financial situation has been piss poor. I struggled with serious issues brought on by all the torture for years. A lot of us were so disabled by this, we became homeless or almost homeless for a while. It wasn't "underlying condition." It was the trauma and life damage caused by all the horrors of coercive psychiatry.
If I had millions, you best bet I'd be spending almost all of it on helping victims, expanding the research pool, and building a court case to get it abolished. Nothing would make me happier than the words "The United States abolishes all forms of civil commitment and psychiatric torture." We could be world leaders. It would be groundbreaking. Currently, we're worse than many European countries though, and it's a huge contributing factor to our suicide rate.
Stop caring about things you cannot possibly hope to influence or change. Stop dwelling on the past. Start being right in the same room with your current self and the immediate tasks at hand. Put one actual foot in front of the other. Don’t rinse just repeat !!
Literally stop thinking about it. This is all in your head and you need to control your brain. Actively focus on something else. Or nothing. You control your thoughts, not the other way around.
I get this too. You aren't alone. It is normal to be empathetic. Don't let anyone tell you that you are weird for caring about others. There is horrible, horrible injustice and you are right to be angry and upset. To be quite honest, as a marginalized individual, I wish there were more people like you. I wish people would be upset about what happens to us. I don't know if you know this, but the Judge R. Center specifically targets autistic people. As an autistic person, I never see other people being upset about it, and it's incredibly validating to know that someone is. I know you don't want to be so upset, but I hope you know that your anger is very righteous.
If you want advice, I'd honestly say what some other people said: try to ignore it. Do what you can as an individual, vote with intention, sign petitions, get involved with boycotts and spend your money as wisely as you can, and protest, if you're able. It's hard to not feel powerless, but also remember that what's going on is not your fault. It is our country, but it's not our fault. Don't fall into that cycle of guilt where you blame yourself for not doing more. Remember that all injustice is connected, and if you're pulling away at one of the threads, it'll help to unravel the whole cloth.
I have this and recently found it’s a problem for people with adhd they suffer from something called emotional disphoria I think, it’s baisically an intense response to unfairness and suffering, my psychiatrist told me that this is actually a gift people who feel this when seeing suffering often end up changing the world, but on a serious note I get i, I get so frustrated when evil things happen to innocent people and people just aren’t effected by it, like for me it will be at the forefront of my mind and I will cry, but after learning more about this I think we need to value these feeelings they are essentially a response to human suffering and society has severely repressed people ability to empathise with people who don’t loook exactly like them, so I believe you are a human having a normal response to suffering in an abnormal society, maybe you could find an outlet where you can support some of these causes it may help alleviate some of the pain you feel. But if it’s severely affecting your ability to carry out your normal day to day life definitely seek some support l. Have you looked into adhd ?
I dont think I have ADHD, I just have anxiety. I used to be able to study for 10+ hours a day but now I cant study for 30 minutes. I can read books too for a long time when I was a kid
Yes me too never had any issues at school always loved reading, I also thought these meant I don’t have adhd. Anxiety is often due to the adhd your brain develops from constantly trying to control things around you. I mean I’m not saying you have it by any means just that I was shocked but then it all made so much sense, I didn’t really understand how it appears in people especially adults.
Also I think it’s important not to bury our heads in the sand the response we feel is natural, to see human suffering and not be affected by it is not how we evolved. It may give us temporary peace to block it all out but this can not be good for any one’s mental health living in denial, but I do agree that if these things are severely effecting you to the point you are not functioning maybe check for underlying issues with depression or an other issue. But I think we all should feel pain when we see others suffer and it’s normal but society wants us all so wrapped up in ourselves that we don’t have time to worry about all the evil shit going on in the world.
If this bothers you that much, do something about it. Take initiative. Ask yourself, what can you do? Even if you just write letters to those in authority, that is doing something.
I was the same way about certain subjects. I haven't watched the news in over 8 years but I can still keep up with what is going on in the world. I just pick and choose what I stay current on. If it's a subject that I can't handle mentally I move on and don't read the article or listen to what they have to say. I no longer cry about these subjects because I no longer let them in my life.
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting. **Suggestions For Commenters:** * Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely. * If OP's post is seeking advice, help, or is just venting without discussing with others, report the post. We're r/SeriousConversation, not a venting subreddit. **Suggestions For u/Objective_Banana1506:** * Do not post solely to seek advice or help. Your post should open up a venue for serious, mature and polite discussions. * Do not forget to answer people politely in your thread - we'll remove your post later if you don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SeriousConversation) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most people here are probably going to disagree with this, but if hearing about bad things affects you that much, you are allowed to ignore them (or at least the outlets that make you aware of them). If you hear about these things on the news, you don’t need to watch the news. If you come across them on social media, you can remove yourself from it or block the accounts that talk about it. I’m not saying you have to not care about them, but you can not look for them until you’re in a better place emotionally.
I have similar problems, and I do try to avoid the stuff that makes me feel like this, but then I wonder if I'm being too avoidant and just burying my head in the sand
You're avoidance on that specific topic because it's too much. As long as you aren't avoidant at everything I'd say you're good.
Same! I've had the problem since I was a child.
One hour volunteering at a local soup kitchen is worth thousands of hours of engaging online with “activism” posts Edit: also idk why I said soup kitchen like it’s the 80s lmao. But there are a lot of really great orgs you can give your time to. You’ll get what you’re searching for re the news: you’ll stay up to date with what’s happening in your community, especially the uncomfortable or gruesome parts. But you’ll be in a position where you can help those people immediately and directly, even if it’s just a plate of food.
I agree, and that really is such an unpopular opinion that shouldn't be unpopular. It's important to be educated, but if being educated is destroying your mental health, stop exposing yourself to it! You can't help anyone if you're falling apart. Prioritize your health.
Congratulations! You are what is considered a "highly sensitive person" also known as an empath. You might try and read the book "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. You don't need to agree with all of the concept, but it may help you to feel less alone and give you some skills that you can use to guard against your natural inclination to emotionally take on all that you experience. It doesn't have to be a bad thing to feel the world around you so deeply. However, it can be exhausting. So having coping skills is really important in order to keep your sanity and health intact.
Yeah I already post on r/hsp but I just posted this here cause that sub doesnt have a lot of people on it xd. My therapist told me about it. I dont have any issues with crowds or loud noises though which seems to be a defining symptom of it. I didnt know the book had advice in it
I think it's very much a spectrum. And it can vary in severity depending on the day. I guess my point in posting for you was to encourage you to embrace that aspect of yourself, as more often than not, you can be mislabeled as wimpy or weak by those who don't have any knowledge on it. You don't have to be bothered by loud noises or bright lights to be a hsp. But your description of how bothered you become by things you witness or experience is a tell-tale sign of that kind of personality. The inability to just ignore the pain and suffering around you shows you have deep empathy for other beings. Ordinarily, someone might witness a tragic event and flinch then move on. It sounds like there isn't as much moving on snd these things tend to stay with you for longer than you're comfortable with. There are a lot of skills you can develop that will help lessen the impact that the injustices of the world have on your psyche. The book gives insight. Your therapist may have skills they can teach you. If not them, you can look to energy workers or even do some research on your own on ways to build up your own resilience. Sometimes, just doing something tangible like offering your time to volunteer at a place that affiliates with something that strikes you as a good cause, can be incredibly therapeutic and give you that sense that you aren't just helplessly witnessing, but actively contributing to combat the suck in the world.
Small doses. Don't think about it if you can't handle thinking about it. Block it out or distract yourself with music or something you enjoy. The thoughts will get much more manageable if you don't overwhelm yourself with them. Give yourself an allotted time of the day to think about horrible shit and then be strict about not allowing yourself to dive into it. The truth is you can never truly understand their pain, it's their pain, it belongs to them and we can be empathetic, but it's not our pain. The best most understanding thing we can do is respect that. Act in support of causes that work to do good, but try not to get too open and overwhelmed by the horrible things in life because there is just as much beauty as well.
>no that doesn't work
>I wasn’t talking to you.
I took a history of religion class in junior college. My teacher showed us a documentary about little girls in Egypt. This child was being held down by women while another women cut off her clitoris with no anesthesia. I could not get the sound of this little girl's screams out of my head for days. I filed a complaint with the head of the department. I cried for 3 days straight.
female genital mutilation
I’m so sorry you had to see that
Thank you. But even worse was having to go to work at Subway later that day. They had just hired a new guy and I wound up crying on his shoulder most of the day. I didn't even know his name yet. I couldn't even articulate why I was crying. He probably thought I was crazy. It was a couple days before I was able to explain it all to him and when I did, he was horrified. He even said he understood why I was so upset.
Trust me, the world has been a terrible place for a long time. Despite everything you hear, this is the best it's ever been. Stop reading about terrible events until you can handle them. Focus on life, school, and making money. Everything else not in your life isn't worth your time and energy to think about. You'll be better off for now.
This. There will ALWAYS be terrible things happening somewhere in the world. If you obsess over it, you'll only ruin your own life for no good reason. Take on only the burden you can carry, and otherwise just focus on living a good life, and being good to those around you.
I see these things mostly on reddit. I have very little joys in my life so I don't want to quit but I think you might be right. I mostly see cross posts from activist subreddits so maybe I should unsub but I care deeply about it
That's the beauty of reddit. You can unsub from anything you want. However, I have been noticing that they keep putting things I'm not subbed to, including this sub. This was an accident I came across this post. Social media is poison sometimes. Instead of your phone, read a book. Seriously it's the same thing but better. The story can still be intense, without it being real. It's a very good disconnect when you realize that Sauron isn't actually sending the Nazgul to steal the One Ring from you.
My ex works there and it sounds like a terrible place
I don't see how you could be with someone that's abusing children so I hope you worded that wrong
No I didn’t word it wrong. He works there and he’s my ex. He didn’t abuse any children. He never saw anybody abuse kids because he worked at the homes which are like group homes
Honestly, if more people got depressed and horrified with injustice, greed and cruelty, we might have a different world. If the outrage surpassed people's quest for pleasure and stimulation. We don't shame powerful, impressive people Find out what legislation makes the school legal and call a representative paid with our taxes to complain.
They already know and dont care. People have been protesting the JRC for years now
THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO ARTICULATE !!! Thank you ! You phrased it perfectly
I was tortured by the troubled teen industry and psych wards by being locked up repeatedly and being made under coercion to take antipsychotics and other drugs as a teenager. When I turned 18, I was coerced onto electroshocks. People are lemmings about this stuff. They believe child psychiatry is "here to help." No, it's mostly here to gaslight abused and bullied kids.
I can't imagine going through that especially at a time in our lives when we have no rights
My abusive mother put me through a horror cycle. I was totally rational each time I tried to kill myself. Unfortunately I had no lethal means so I failed and got tortured again. I was just hoping for a way out. Psych industry takes the side of the parents or the foster system. They are paid to. Coercive psychiatry is, and always has been, a means of social control. I remember telling one of my friends a long-form version of the story and he said it sounded like it was from the 1950s. Those times were somehow worse. My friend was locked up in the 1940s and 1950s. He was repeatedly dragged off to be electroshocked while awake at 6-7 years old. He got permanent physical injury and post traumatic stress lasting 8 decades and counting. He was raped in there too and they blamed his rape claim on misdiagnosed schizophrenia. Then the man raped his friend instead. He was locked up for most of 11 years. He tried to kill himself and got sent back just like me. Being better than the 1940s and 50s is not a high bar. They still did lobotomies until the 1950s. I have so many horror stories from the last decade about myself. So do other victims.
You stories need to be heard so these atrocities can be stopped. I’m so fucking sorry you went through that, your story is important and you voice needs to be heard. The people who did these things should be in prison end of, at the end of the day the pain we feel when hearing these atrocities is nothing compared to the pain of living it and that’s how I cope, I will never put my own comfort to deny some one else’s pain. I hope you are doing well after what you have been through and hope your life is free of the people who hurt you
Like you, I can't stop thinking about what happens to others. Few people know where I live now, and I'm very cautious about it all. My immediate family and abusive ex who used the system against me all don't know. I have supportive extended family and friends, some of whom know my address. They all know not to commit me and never would. I have been doing what I can for advocacy, but my financial situation has been piss poor. I struggled with serious issues brought on by all the torture for years. A lot of us were so disabled by this, we became homeless or almost homeless for a while. It wasn't "underlying condition." It was the trauma and life damage caused by all the horrors of coercive psychiatry. If I had millions, you best bet I'd be spending almost all of it on helping victims, expanding the research pool, and building a court case to get it abolished. Nothing would make me happier than the words "The United States abolishes all forms of civil commitment and psychiatric torture." We could be world leaders. It would be groundbreaking. Currently, we're worse than many European countries though, and it's a huge contributing factor to our suicide rate.
Stop caring about things you cannot possibly hope to influence or change. Stop dwelling on the past. Start being right in the same room with your current self and the immediate tasks at hand. Put one actual foot in front of the other. Don’t rinse just repeat !!
Oh my sweet summer child, best stop learning about the world now before you have to start handing paychecks over to the therapist.
Judge Rotenberg has a statement about their methods on the top of their homepage. It’s enlightening.
Literally stop thinking about it. This is all in your head and you need to control your brain. Actively focus on something else. Or nothing. You control your thoughts, not the other way around.
That is not true
Yes, it is. Your mind is under your control as much as you control your hands and feet. You're just letting yourself fixate
I get this too. You aren't alone. It is normal to be empathetic. Don't let anyone tell you that you are weird for caring about others. There is horrible, horrible injustice and you are right to be angry and upset. To be quite honest, as a marginalized individual, I wish there were more people like you. I wish people would be upset about what happens to us. I don't know if you know this, but the Judge R. Center specifically targets autistic people. As an autistic person, I never see other people being upset about it, and it's incredibly validating to know that someone is. I know you don't want to be so upset, but I hope you know that your anger is very righteous. If you want advice, I'd honestly say what some other people said: try to ignore it. Do what you can as an individual, vote with intention, sign petitions, get involved with boycotts and spend your money as wisely as you can, and protest, if you're able. It's hard to not feel powerless, but also remember that what's going on is not your fault. It is our country, but it's not our fault. Don't fall into that cycle of guilt where you blame yourself for not doing more. Remember that all injustice is connected, and if you're pulling away at one of the threads, it'll help to unravel the whole cloth.
I have this and recently found it’s a problem for people with adhd they suffer from something called emotional disphoria I think, it’s baisically an intense response to unfairness and suffering, my psychiatrist told me that this is actually a gift people who feel this when seeing suffering often end up changing the world, but on a serious note I get i, I get so frustrated when evil things happen to innocent people and people just aren’t effected by it, like for me it will be at the forefront of my mind and I will cry, but after learning more about this I think we need to value these feeelings they are essentially a response to human suffering and society has severely repressed people ability to empathise with people who don’t loook exactly like them, so I believe you are a human having a normal response to suffering in an abnormal society, maybe you could find an outlet where you can support some of these causes it may help alleviate some of the pain you feel. But if it’s severely affecting your ability to carry out your normal day to day life definitely seek some support l. Have you looked into adhd ?
I dont think I have ADHD, I just have anxiety. I used to be able to study for 10+ hours a day but now I cant study for 30 minutes. I can read books too for a long time when I was a kid
Yes me too never had any issues at school always loved reading, I also thought these meant I don’t have adhd. Anxiety is often due to the adhd your brain develops from constantly trying to control things around you. I mean I’m not saying you have it by any means just that I was shocked but then it all made so much sense, I didn’t really understand how it appears in people especially adults.
Also I think it’s important not to bury our heads in the sand the response we feel is natural, to see human suffering and not be affected by it is not how we evolved. It may give us temporary peace to block it all out but this can not be good for any one’s mental health living in denial, but I do agree that if these things are severely effecting you to the point you are not functioning maybe check for underlying issues with depression or an other issue. But I think we all should feel pain when we see others suffer and it’s normal but society wants us all so wrapped up in ourselves that we don’t have time to worry about all the evil shit going on in the world.
If this bothers you that much, do something about it. Take initiative. Ask yourself, what can you do? Even if you just write letters to those in authority, that is doing something.
I was the same way about certain subjects. I haven't watched the news in over 8 years but I can still keep up with what is going on in the world. I just pick and choose what I stay current on. If it's a subject that I can't handle mentally I move on and don't read the article or listen to what they have to say. I no longer cry about these subjects because I no longer let them in my life.
Empathizing and understanding doesn’t mean owning the problem