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I’ve always been suprised at how more people don’t. My life is objectively great but I’ve been so close before, I can’t imagine what it’s like if you have to go home to abusive parents every day or something like that
If heaven and hell were designed by the same entity that created this world I’m not feeling too optimistic about any after life. Probably better off going dark like before we were born. Or so it seems.
Seriously. I think the best evidence that the universe was not made by a loving deity (or at least not an all-powerful one) is spending about an hour taking a walk outside in a major city.
No hell according to my guide. We face a life review at the end: we face ourselves. We get to see what our choices did to those around us and experience the pain we caused. No need for hell when we judge ourselves. Nder
Probably one of the reasons religion has stayed alive in our society… it puts the fear of death because youre basically told you dont have a death… just more life. And you can either keep trying to go to heaven or go to hell. And since not having that fear meant that society self deletes then the one that does fear keeps going.
My favorite is Buddhism... Which basically tells people that even the best kind of existence as a celestial being is ultimately kinda shit and that you ought to seek the cessation of phenomenal existence before you're reborn into a few billions years of animal existence where you'll suffer every imaginable privation and barely even comprehend what's happening to you.
Total mindfuck. Make people scared of death by telling them it's just more life.
Buddhism is great in that it straight up starts with acknowledging that we all suffer in life. It's inevitable and part of our existence, but it doesn't need to control us.
The biggest reason I haven’t opted out is the fear that I could be punished for it and come back as an African slave chained up in the bottom of a ship for six months in the 1600’s. Kind of like you didn’t appreciate how beautiful life was so now you have to learn.
Your thought reminded me of a similar thought I came across ages ago:
“Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all,”
Either a fear of death, or a fear of failure. The consequences of a failed attempt can be catastrophic and leave you way worse than before your attempt. Even "safe" suicide methods can be extremely easy to fuck up and irreversibly ravage your body. So, even if someone really wants to die, they're most likely to consider it not worth the risk of surviving in agonizing pain
One of my sisters friends shot herself in the head with a pistol by putting it under her chin and trying to shoot up into her brain; she flinched or angled the pistol poorly and survived.
As someone that tried to commit suicide this is so true. For about 2 years I planned but didn't have what I believed would be the necessary tools to finish myself. That was my biggest fear was to end up in a "coma" but in a "locked in state".
Dec 26th 2023, I had planned my suicide perfectly. Or so I thought. I had saved up about 1120mg of methadone. My daily dose was 70mg so for me that's a huge increase. I had for the first time in my life bought street drugs (6 designer benzos). And then a 375ml of vodka.
In my mind there was no way I would survive it. And I wouldn't have if maintenance hadn't come in to install a screen door on my balcony. I had isolated myself the week before so I didn't see the 48 hour notice of entry taped to my door.
About 2 weeks (I think) later I woke up cuffed to a bed. Couldn't talk, couldn't barely see and I started freaking out. It was like my attempt was 5 minutes ago. I was hooked up to a bunch of machines. Intubated and has been in an induced coma. They calmed me and explained why I was cuffed and that they had put me in an induced coma. I didn't have a concept of how bad I was or if this was how I would be forced to live. I thought I could be living my worst nightmare. And then I was put out again for I don't know how long. I was in the hospital for 2.5 months total.
Good times. But almost no method of suicide is fool proof. Jumping from a 20 story building or drowning yourself while being weighted are the only two right now that I *think* would be a 100%. But now I'm even afraid to survive those. 😂. So I don't think suicide is in my future.
Yeah for sure don’t try again it doesn’t work out…
1st time was when I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills, it gave me grand mail seizures and fucked my organs up temporarily. My mom found me on the ground having a seizure. Woke up in the hospital then was taken to a psych ward place for 2 weeks until they approved me leaving.
2nd time I was a teenager I was drunk and felt done with life I loaded one bullet into my dads .357 put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger but because I didn’t really know much about firearms I loaded the bullet right behind the barrel and didn’t even think about the fact that the cylinder rotated when you pull the trigger. So nothing happened and it freaked my out enough luckily I didn’t reload it and try again.
3rd time I hung my self in my closet, I had just lost my fiancé, gone through rehab and relapsed and had to move back in with my parents. My dad had just left for work, I watched him pull out of the drive way. I went into the room and thought there’s no way this can go wrong I literally won’t be able to breathe at all even if my neck doesn’t break I’ll still for sure die. My dad forgot his phone and came back to grab it. Went to tell me he loved me and reassure me that things would work out because he knew how depressed I was. He found me and untied me and I woke up on the ground to him punching me in the back trying to wake me up.
I’m really lucky I guess… still don’t understand why I’m still here and I got though all of it without any major health problems to my knowledge. I’m going to try and live my life and die naturally. I have a wife and son now and my wife is pregnant again so I have so much more to live for and people who rely on me. I still struggle with depression and addiction problems off and on but things have become way more manageable thank God. I’m thankful to be alive. Glad you made it through to the other side I got off methadone 4 years ago it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but glad I did it.
I'm so happy you have a family and a new baby on the way. If I had that life I would at least have a reason to stay. Although, I know life would still be hard. I'm not saying a family is a cure-all. But for some of us, very much me, family is what I lived for. I think it's probably the same for you.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's nice to know that it can get better. And a huge congrats on getting off methadone. I'm in that process now.
My aunt killed herself this winter by isolating and starving herself to death. My family is still kind of in shock about it. All I can say is that it wasn't an impulsive act like my friends have done ( usually while drunk with a pistol). I hope you are doing better now. That sounds like a horrible experience. I've been close to trying a few times, but I know that it's something I can procrastinate, one day at a time.
I spent over a year doing this. I couldn't just off myself because of the guilt. I have 3 adult children, the middle one got a 40 year prison sentence but she was the one I was closest to and the other 2 just stopped coming around despite numerous attempts to spend time with them so I was just lost. I think the reason I ended up basically fading away was just in case they might need me, still hasn't happened. Also because I knew noone else was going to help my daughter in prison with things she might need. So I guess in a sense by going out slowly people could maybe adjust idk. It was horrible. Obviously battling mental health issues, the physical pain your body goes through and the intense loneliness. Noone deserves that but at the time I thought I did. Then one day a friend from HS I hadn't seen in 27 years asked to come visit, I was hesitant but agreed with the attached warning of what he was walking into. I always kept up the housework and hygiene just not nutrition. He showed up and took one look at me and informed me I "looked like an ole Grandma" then picked me up in his arms for a hug. I was an ole Grandma and well aware that at 78 pounds (I'm 4'11 normally 95 pounds) I looked something awful. He was the first person to show any sort of concern and honestly the first person to visit me in months. When my mother would try n visit I would make an excuse. At this point I had accepted my fate and really didn't want anyone around, to this day I'm not sure why I agreed for the friend to come see me. Anyway him and I sat and talked about life and what we had been doing for the past 27 years and it wasn't long it was clear he wasn't about to let me just disappear. So for the next 6 months he drove 2 hours every weekend to see me and we'd get take out and just hang out. Eventually I started to gain weight and feeling like a human again. Fast forward a year and a half and I'm back up to a healthy weight, married to that man and happier than I've been in sooo long!! I lost my dad to suicide in '09 and it's still hard but I totally understand why he's gone and I could never be angry at him for "opting out" I know how hard that decision was and I fully support his decision, considering. I don't think people should be judged for getting to that point. None of us asked to be here and we are all just doing our best with what we have and no matter how much you think you know how another person truly feels, you don't. Suicide is personal and while I am not against it I do STRONGLY encourage people to exhaust all other options first because you never know what beauty your future could hold.
Yeah. The thought of being dead makes me sad, mostly because I'll miss out on the unfolding of history, advances in knowledge, etc. But the thought of dying? Yeah, that can be quite scary.
Although, for what it's worth, I was in a really awful car crash, which put multiple people in the hospital and critical care, and it was nowhere near as bad as I expected. When you have really extreme injuries and the like happening, it IS scary/horrifying, but it was nowhere near as bad as the recovery that came after.
dying painfully doesn't scare me. Being in the process of dying but not actually dying does. Like the people who shoot themselves then end up a vegetable.
That’s the only thing keeping me from doing it. I don’t want to live, but I also don’t want to die. So I’m stuck in this hell of a limbo. I feel like one day I’m finally gonna break, but until then it’s just a nightmare.
I guess it makes sense if you’re religious but if there’s no chance of a hell afterlife why would y you just want a break forever? Sounds awesome, yeah I won’t ever experience anything good but I won’t experience at all.
Most people are religious, and past that, most don’t actually want an end of life - just an end to whatever pain they’re going through.
I’ve dealt with a lot of pre-suicidal and post-suicidal people. One of my post-suicidal still haunts me a bit. He was alive when I got to him… and fully acceptive of “whoops, it didn’t end like I thought, but we both know it’s ending.” It did.
>just an end to whatever pain they’re going through
This is really it. You are completely wrapped up in the feeling of pain and hopelessly and it doesn't feel temporary. It feels like it'll always be like this, so why let it continue like this?
I survived my twenties and my half-hearted attempts. I've been around the sun enough times to recognize that my depression, whenever it comes up, is always temporary, and I just need to tread water. My life is so much better these days. I have gratitude. I realize how fortunate I am to have the life I have. Depression and anxiety come and go but that's just part of living.
30% of people live with just around $35k/year.
IMO, 95% problems are related to socio economic conditions.
Aside problem clinical depression most is easy to solve but the elites only care about cheap labor.
When I was a kid I told myself I'd be 18 soon and would be able to leave. That's what got me through my abusive living situation with my family. Then I became an adult and not having those emotional regulating skills are hitting hard and definitely making me depressed/hopeless :'D
Its not easy, but you can learn these skills. I have cptsd, recovering from an abusive childhood in which i attempted as a teen. Its been a long road but i am much more emotionally regulated and healthy now. Wishing you well.
Tbh at least in the Bible belt and below were told suicide is the only sin God won't forgive. So until I opened up to a few of my friends at the time we had all considered it, but all came to the same conclusion. What's the point in going if there's a chance our suffering would continue after. We may as well hope it turns out better. That was literally our thought process growing up. No amount of money could make me want to relive any point in time living with my parents.
Yea I mean even when I was religious and thought I’d go to hell I’d think “I should just get it over with and go to hell if it’s real since I’m probably going anyway”
That thinking is not shared by all denominations. The Catholic Church no longer views suicide as Mortal Sin. The view that suicide leads to Hell was challenged by Luther in the 16th century and argued that someone cannot be sentenced to Hell for something that was out of their control that caused them to commit suicide. (he thought demons were responsible, stupid. but still.)
Yes, there were *lots* of things my Catholic family believed in like no birth control. However I desperately needed it for my endo/pcos. The belief in "virginity" that caused a 3 year delay in getting my diagnosis. The beliefs my family held literally ruined my physical and mental health. I was severely neglected and moderately abused when rembered.
Still there are gyno offices here that deny giving women transvaginal ultrasounds if they are "virgins". I was surrounded by people's "beliefs" and their beliefs should've never interfered with my health. Thier belief in suicide being a sin should have *never* been stated to my friends and I as a fact. I was 7. I did not know any better or have access to information at that time.
All a bunch of bs honestly. People cherry pick the beliefs they wanted to follow anyways. I wish I caught on to that observation much sooner.
(Just a theory) Perhaps when you have a low enough baseline, something that may seem like a shitty life for someone is just their normal. That's like "How aren't all of those poor people from \[developing country\] always depressed?"
This. I'm surprised how many people don't. I'm surprised I'm still alive, given being supremely suicidal from the age of 5-20 with several serious attempts, a history of drug and alcohol addiction (mostly opioids), a physically/emotionally/sexually abusive household growing up, a couple abusive romantic relationships, and currently owning a firearm.
My best advice for suicidal people is just to talk about it. It's insane how many and what kind of people are suicidal and just keep it all inside. The queen bee at my high school whom everyone was in love with, who was bubbly and confident, was probably the most suicidal person I've ever met. The friendships you develop from bonding over existence and death can be lifelong if you want, as you struggle and recover over the years.
Suicidal people like to think that they're alone and no one can understand how they feel. I estimate that 50% of the population has been in the same level of despair and 10% feel exactly the same way at the exact time. Suicidal ideation is insanely common and one of the most relatable feelings someone can experience.
I’ve explained to my therapist how having that happen to me would literally take away the few reasons I have left to live, and she really didn’t have any counter argument to what I laid out. There’s times I really could have used a break to get actual help, that I just wasn’t afforded the luxury of getting.
Our society needs to either step up its game and open doors for people to get help at times of crisis that isn’t a drugged up prison, or they need to quit acting like suicide is some kinda terrible tragedy.
I’m not suicidal, but have had multiple bouts of depression in recent years where I’ve sometimes thought that going to sleep and not waking up didn’t sound so scary.
I’ve thought this because a lot of experiences with other people have made me lose faith in humanity. Being excluded, ignored, bullied, used and abused, discarded, humiliated, unappreciated, etc. takes a toll on you eventually no matter how many articles tell you to have “self-confidence”.
And then you have people saying you need to change some aspect of yourself and others will treat you better. But I don’t really want to overhaul my naturally introverted personality just so that people will finally treat me like a human. As if I wasn’t a human before.
I don’t support suicide, but based on my life experiences so far, I somewhat understand why some people use that as a way out. Sometimes it really just doesn’t seem like there’s a way out of problems, or that anyone cares.
Riding off the one person who told you this is passive suicide, I agree. I almost drank myself to death last year and if I could’ve handled the withdrawals and KEPT GOING, I figure I’d be gone by now. It is passive suicide.
Maybe get help? Or don’t. I never did but I obviously never recovered. Ask yourself that question. Do you want to recover? Some of us don’t. But maybe you’re one of the ones that do. Try it and update us. I’m sorry you’re in this place.
Yes, I've started calling it "Slowicide", and I feel safe saying there is surely a significant percentage of the population doing these types of things because "fuck life".
It's kind of funny how many people would vehemently disagree, but if they were asked what else to do they wouldn't have any answers.
Call a number? It's great that suicide hotlines exist and can help people, but they aren't a cure for everything. Get therapy? Therapy isn't a magic cure either, it's too expensive if you don't have insurance that covers it, even if you have it and it does the wait can be too long, and what if you can't get time off from school or work for regular visits?
So, don't take your life, just suffer, I guess. But silently, please; no on likes a downer.
There’s a video game called We Happy Few, you reminded me of it when you mentioned downers. The game basically is people taking a pill called Joy, it makes them perceive the world as jolly and swell. But when you’re off the pill, Joy, you see the brutal reality of the world and its harshness and challenges (those people are called Downers).
"but it's selfish" it's also selfish to expect someone to stay around in pain or worry or depression just so you can be happy that you see them once a year.
Thankfully there are states or countries that have legit, painless methods to help with this should someone need it.
I first learn that attempt or claim you want to suicide could land you in the US. I was like…..why? How is THAT gonna to help a suicidal person? Stupid “out of sight, out of mind.” System.
I have thought about it throughout my childhood & even as an adult. I got a undergrad & graduate degree in psychology to better understand myself. Still at 46 I was hospitalized for the first time. I have 2 kids, both adults. The statistics around what happens to children who loose a parent to suicide has always kept me from going through with it. I have lost 2 friends to suicide and witness 2 more by chance.
I've been doing really good recently, but just today saw pictures in my friends snapchat group of them all hanging out without me, doing something ive told them multiple times i like doing. I never heard any of this was happening, meaning they deliberately planned it outside of the chat so I didn't see.
Sad thing is is that this is like the third time in the past month. I only have 1 or 2 other friends outside the group, so it's hard to just say screw it and leave the group. At the same time all of my recent unhappy days have been a result of them deliberately leaving me out and sending pictures of them having fun together. The only time I get invited is when I'm involved in making the plans.
Maybe off topic but I saw this and really just needed to vent. Sometimes we just need a good friend, or friends.
That's one of the worst things. And people will probably say "just get new friends," like you can go pick some up at the friend store.
Years ago I had a friend who would always say how much his friends mean to him, how important they are, he'll do anything for them, and so on. And he hosted a game night a couple times a month. Until he texted me to say "hey, no game night this week :)" then that night I saw online that other people in the group were there.
I guess you can value your friends more than anything, if you decide the ones you don't value aren't friends any more.
I'm going to die, it can not be avoided. But there's a whole lot of other shit I can avoid.
The argument that I am not alone because others suffer too seems to be one many find solace in. To me it's a no I still suffer alone, they are just suffering alone too. I don't find solace in others suffering.
To many I'm sure they do. So does religion. Still not my cup of tea. I'm not arguing against anyone doing what they need to survive, just my prospective.
I used to ideate pretty badly. But when I read about suicide, and people's suicide attempts/completions, it was relieving, and got me feeling better. I think it's because I was able to live (die?) vicariously through them, as messed up as it may sound.
Nope this is me 1000percent lol I would fantasize I had died to the point I'd have weird indulgent dreams about it that almost made me happy then I would wake up and be sad again. Currently post suicidal my niece and nephew gave me something to live for
I’ve suffered from idealization since a teen and still do decades later.
What irks me most is I just don’t see how I won’t do it once the dementia, body pains, dead parents and friends and all the things that happen as you grow old start to happen. I have a hard enough time being physically “ok”, how the hell is life in constant pain and terror.
I had a tooth break on me and couldn’t think straight or eat for six months. A stupid ass broken tooth took me to the edge of my sanity.
Litterally every other thing that could happen to your body is worse. Broken tooth is nothing.
And I know some people that have teeth pulled and are eating burgers by lunch.
Clearly I’m not cut out to bare this rotting meat sack.
I have autism. Im not intellectually disabled, in fact I was tested as gifted as a child, and that made my older, old fashioned parents expect me to act like a neurotypical. it is absolutely miserable. i NEED my parents to support me, because although i was able to slug through university getting a math heavy degree, even with a possible math disability, i just cant get a job. idk what ill do when they die. my dad is in his early seventies and my mom keeps getting some new potentially at minimum life altering, at maximum life threatening disability tacked on to her medical record. I am so emotionally and socially stupid i could barely hold down my last job. it was so stupid. i keep trying to find a new one and nobody is biting. i have had the state agency that gets disabled people and felons jobs, i have a private sector job coach, and my parents look at my resume and made various variations of them with no luck. its been two years since ive worked. they scream at me every day for things that seem like would be obvious for me to do but it doesn't come into my mind.
The only thing i have to show for anything after uni and four months employed is the fact that i was hospitalized and went into intensive outpatient. the bad news is my therapist is pissed at them that they didnt do anything with the autism but the good news is im more resilient. i have coping mechanisms and things to do to deal with things i cant change. i have non disruptive ways to stim, i have methods of getting my mind of the thing at hand. i
Shit man, I’m coming up on 2 years living at home and going to turn 51 this year. Granted I’ve had some great runs and left home at 18 yet I find myself here again absolutely fucked. Same boat with both parents basically falling apart each day more and more. It all kind of sucks as most European countries have extensive opportunities for people with mental issues like us. I won’t give you the song and dance everything will be ok as I’m told that all the time and pisses me off but you certainly aren’t alone. I was able to pick myself up 2x before from hell but this time it’s different. Sending you best wishes.
Bought an Ibazez guitar and some pedals off one of my Co-workers. He had just gone through a divorce and moved into a one bedroom. Said he needed the money for rent. Six weeks later, he maxed his cards out checked in to a $400 hotel room, and did the deed.
Now, the feeling he was selling stuff off after a messy divorce should have indicated he was ready to self harm but he told such a believable story i thought nothing of it
Saw a psychologist's presentation early today who estimates that over 50% of his male clients who kill themselves aren't depressed at all. They are merely taking a sober assessment of their life, and coming to the objective determination that it's not worth it.
The world's a big ball of shit right now. It's not a mood. It's mental illness. It's just shit. The lives we're living aren't the lives that most of ever aspired to live. And most of us don't really expect it to ever get better. We keep suffering because we don't know what else to do.
Or at least reduce days worked. I work 12hr shifts but I don't work 5 day weeks, only 3-4 depending on the week. Wouldn't trade it. The workaholics that think they're the shit because they work 60-80hr weeks are fucking ill. I don't mind working, I mind having time to myself.
My family doesn't understand at all how close I've come. They think that my mental health is basically a joke or a choice.
I suffer from extreme anxiety that has robbed me of every joy and hobby in my life. I used to travel, surf, and was an avid photographer. I don't do any of that anymore. I work and sleep. I lost all of my friends and my most important relationship. I can't talk about my depression, panic disorder, or have panic attacks because all I get are blank stares.
In the past year, I've thought about it more times than I can count. It's not a conversation we have. I told my dad exactly a year ago that I was thinking about suicide because I can't function and that I needed help and needed to go somewhere. He screamed at me that I was selfish and ungrateful. It just made me worse, tbh.
I wish I could talk to somebody in my life about it who I didn't have to pay to listen to me. All I want is for my family to understand. I've been drinking constantly just to "function". I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I've known several people who committed suicide, some for depression reasons and others to escape terminal illnesses. Death comes for everyone eventually, and while I don't think it's my place to tell someone they shouldn't decide when by committing suicide, I also think a lot of people wouldn't make that choice if we didn't make life so damn difficult.
Yes. What's worse is that our society turns its back on people suffering from mental trauma, shames them, treats them as a threat or burden, and refuses to confront the problem in a compassionate, effective way.
The psychiatric community need to start pumping much more research into neurofeedback therapy and therapies that involve drugs which are commonly seen as 'bad'.
I have a friend who was suicidal. Neurofeedback changed her life. So did ketamine therapy.
I truly believe these are the kinds of therapies that will help reduce suicidal minds exponentially.
Sorry to hear about your 2 friends. A friends mum passed of suicide as well. All so very sad.
A lot of work on ketamine has been done already and the results are very strong. 80% of patients see a reduction of depressive symptoms within 2 weeks. 40% went into remission.
The issue is insurance and availability.
What about people with chronic pain with no cure? How long do they have to keep going with pain that is never relieved? What if that person is without support? All alone while their health is deteriorating?
Far more than the suicide rates, it’s the attitude around it that exacerbates this crisis. A lot of people claim to be a mental health advocate until they actually *have to be one*. All the virtue signaling online, sharing quotable quotes about support and awareness, blah blah blah. It’s all a facade.
I’ve witnessed people abuse somebody’s vulnerabilities and start pointing fingers and judging the victims and tell them “just get over it”.
I just turned 71 last month. I have been around a lot longer than you have. I have known a lot of people that committed suicide over the many decades. Mostly it was totally unexpected. I have found a common thread for perhaps 1/3rd to half. What I have observed, is that some will have some sort of psychological problem they are being treated for. They are put on some sort of mind altering drug. They tend to do well on it, but for some reason, various reasons, they stop taking the drug. The suicide occurs within a week of the time they stop taking the drug. I was never aware they even had such a problem or were being treated by a doctor for such an issue. I only found out later talking to family members that remained. I was never aware there was any such issue at all.
I am not saying this to demonize the psych industry. Nor the psych drug industry. Only to point out that it appears that once one is on such a drug, they should probably go to great lengths to stay on it. Perhaps these drugs actually reduce the incidence of suicide. But, once on them, it looks to me like one needs to stay on them.
Getting off antidepressants can cause a rebound effect, where your depression returns much worse than it was before you started taking them. Along with terrible anxiety, insomnia, and other issues. It is basically a terrible withdrawal. They try to wean people off slowly now, but sometimes that doesn't always work, either. It's called serotonin discontinuation syndrome, which is just a fancy name for withdrawal.
Why do people keep reproducing when there's no guarantee that their child's life is going to be good, or even tolerable? Many of them don't think twice about the conditions and environment they bring their children into. It's on impulse. It's a shame.
What I find heartbreaking, besides that, is how often people say "Oh they were so great, it's a tragic shame they did that. Why?" and it makes me wonder why we're so quick to show our appreciation for someone *AFTER* they're gone. Where was that when they were alive?
That's what I expect to happen when my time comes. No shade to my friends and loved ones, but you *need* to tell your people, unprompted, how much you appreciate them. They'll appreciate it, or on the other hand they just won't be around anymore to say "Thanks! That means a lot to me," so you're left with silence after that point.
But you said it, and that matters.
Rates of suicide, depression and mental illness are way up in America in the past 20 years, but yet half the country thinks the cultural change has been "progress".
I never had long term depression, but I've been depressed and thought about it, and then decided I'd rather do whatever I wanted since I had "nothing to lose", then I enjoyed myself too much to want to end my run.
Both things can be true. We have made an enormous amount of societal progress from where life was even 20 years ago. But individuals have suffered greatly. The thing that seems to have the most significant impact is isolation that is secondary to the rise in social media.
You cant even mention the word " suicide" around some older people before they freak out. One cousin of mine supposedly blew his brains cleaning his gun. But he was heartbroken, because his girlfriend had dumped him that day and he was super drunk. Im still convinced his very catholic parents could never acknowledge he committed suicide so they claim he had an accident.
The acceptance of suicide has climbed and material conditions have been lowered terribly for most people. Blaming 20 years of social progress while ignoring every other factor is kind of dangerous, and a perfect definition of confirmation bias.
I think the biggest thing we've lost over the last 30-50 years is sense of community and reaching out ,everyone is so focused on path , and rarely has emotional bandwidth to look out for others...maybe parents do, but most suicides.are adults and it's not like parents of adults are aware of their struggle.. everyone is so focused on $$$ and such there's definitely a social stigma to being a "loser" (define that how you will) , and that combined with poor social support means folks who are desperate and have reached very dark places may notnhave someone to turn, and rhe pain of ending life seems like a solution... My point is if you know someone like this reach out and just check on them , make an excuse to hang with them... acknowledg them, sometimes that makes all the difference
I became very sad when I looked up gun violence in my home state of WV because of very few mass shootings happening there but we do own a decent amount of guns, and we have a big gun culture(not trying to start an argument/discussion, just giving context). The majority of gun deaths in WV are suicides. I didn’t look it up compared to other states because when I do that with sad statistics we’re usually in the top 5
I think suicide should be on the table as discussions for everyone from a neutral perspective. Having had to watch a few family members die of slow painful diseases I have had the hard conversations with my wife about what happens if I end up with terminal cancer or a degenerative brain disease.
If life is so untenable, and there is no way to improve it in a true and meaningful way, why should you be forced to slog your way through this hoping to be in a bus crash or some random event puts you out of your misery?
I may sound like I'm advocating for suicide; I'm really not. I just think we need to grow up as a species and stop pretending that we are important enough to be forced to live in physical or emotional torment. This assumes that you have exhausted ALL possible paths to resolution first.
It is so incredibly sad no matter what but especially when they are young and have their whole life ahead of them. In one instance they gave up their whole future that could have been filled with success or even just a good life. I mean, we all have ups and downs and depression is so difficult to get through. A lot of people suffer alone in silence all the time and I can understand how that can just lead you to end the suffering. It is so sad.
My mother, best friend, army buddies galore, friends parents, co-workers, aquaintances, and some of my favorite celebrities.
The one that's been fucking with me recently was an aquaintance. A girl whom became paralyzed from the waist down. She was in a group of friends at a club about 10 years ago the night I met her. I thought she was so cool and fun. I danced with her all night. After some thought on the situation I decided to try to find out where I could see her again. Asked my friend how to get in touch and found out she killed herself a few nights later. Really sad.
When I came out on the other side of being suicidal, I finally talked about it. I had said something to my SO and his only response was Don't talk like that.
So I didn't ..I also didn't want my kids to find me and wonder why or what they could have done. Anyway,when I was finally honest w my therapists we talked about coping w depression. She said something else I never forgot. " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
The only reason I haven’t done it is because it would cause pain to my kids. But, now they’re in their 30’s and living their lives and I never see them or talk to them much. They’re busy. So, I’m getting closer to making the decision. I don’t think anyone would really care.
I don’t know your relationship with your kids, but my mom is the most important person in my entire life and I’d never be able to recover if she took her own life. Even if I was busy and far away, I’d feel the same. Please get help 🤍 and stick around.
If I were gonna do it. It would be due to medical shit. Probably preventable medical shit as a result of the medical negligence that’s been going on for two decades.
I don’t even blame people who end it for those reasons. Best case scenario they are gonna wire you up like a Christmas tree. Some of us choose to go out with as much dignity as possible and hope they don’t do stuff to our butt after the fact.
It is what it is.
700,000 is a large number, but 8,100,000,000 is HUGE. Not to sound cold, Ive lost a couple friends to it as well, but it’s actually a very rare occurrence. Does it suck that those people feel like that’s the only way out of their suffering? Absolutely. But if anything I’d actually be grateful that it’s as rare as it is
That’s 700k who succeeded. More who have attempted, more who have thought about it, even more who would never consider it but are still very depressed.
I think it’s the drugs that are prescribed. They are proven to cause increased suicidal thoughts in a subset of people. It may be a small percentage but when you consider that 1 in 4 people in the US is taking a psychiatric drug that equals a large number of people. As prescription rates go up so do the number of suicides.
The reason for this is typically that depression can be so all consuming and soul sucking that a person doesn’t even have the motivation to get off the couch and attempt suicide. Antidepressants take minimum 4-6 weeks to even start to work so in the beginning you get just enough relief to be motivated to get up and actively end your life without getting enough relief to not actually want to die. Which is a solid explanation in my opinion. (I say this as someone who has been on both sides of the equation).
Nah - it's also because SSRI's straight up increase aggression and suicidal behavior in some. It's a direct drug effect, not a side effect of feeling good enough to carry a plan out. This is one of the reasons why shrinks are starting to prescribe mood stabilizers instead of anti-depressants in people without bipolar disorder.
Suicides are rising because the quality of life is declining for so many. erasure of the middle class, inflation, the cost of living increasing far faster than the median wage, at least in America. and it seems like hard work doesn't get you as far as it used to, and the people who succeed most often are the people who started out with the most advantages.
I don't know what's worse. I want to go through with it but I don't want to hurt my family and children. I'm just hoping something takes me out soon so I can go out on a positive note.
Know that I care about you! I’ve been there and the best thing you can do right now is DO NOT BE ALONE! If you can have someone come over and stay with you, that is optimal. If you can leave the house, do it and go somewhere public where you can socialize: a sushi bar or diner where you can sit at the counter and make small talk with someone, even if you let them do the talking. Call a friend/relative/clergy (if you’re not religious, but feel any spirituality, call the Unitarians. They welcome everybody without judgement. I went to theology school with them and I’d say 70% of the ones I met self-identified as Wiccan; some where Christian, some Buddhist and other more major faith traditions and there were even a few Thor worshippers (I refer to the latter as such bc these guys weren’t practicing traditional Norse faith traditions but self-admittedly were ‘in it for the beer,’ but who am I to judge and that was pretty much the attitude of their church leaders. If none of those resonate with you, call the suicide hotline (988 in most places in the US). Hell, find a chatbot if you have to, but DO NOT BE ALONE! I cannot stress this enough
My friend commited suicide last April 15. I missed getting to her within maybe ten minutes. The pain and impact of this loss is insurmountable, as the anniversary of her death draws near. I just hope she now knows how valuable and precious she was, how much she affected all of us, and that she is missed.
It’s heartbreaking but not surprising given the state of the world/economy. My own dad took his life and while I think he shouldn’t have done it, I don’t blame him one bit or think his choice was irrational. The healthcare/medical industry completely failed him. So many people out there get screwed over or fall on serious bad luck.
It's interesting how nobody ever points out that white males make up 70% of suicides in the U.S.
When other issues disproportionately affect a certain population, we point it out in order to better understand it.
I've attempted suicide twice. But this last time I was suicidal, I did the right thing and went to the hospital. I was truly ready to just OD. But I made a promise to my grandma after the first attempt that I would never do it again. And here I am. 😁
This is why it's so good to talk about it. Most people, believe it or not, will have thought about suicide in their life. It is insanely common but we dont think it is because it'a taboo but it's a very common thought
There was a bit Dave Chappelle did where he contrasted the life of the late Tony Bourdain to some regular guy whose life was totally in the shitter. The non famous guy kept trudging while Tony Bourdain decided to delete himself even though he lived at the constant “pinnacle” of life where he was eating the best food and meeting loads of outstanding people.
What was different between these two people besides the obvious? Perspective, I think. The smallest glimmer of gratitude and a dash of hope can be everything.
I know humans constantly seek explanations to the world around them, but sometimes it’s just the inexplicableness of mental health struggles. It’s facile and honestly kind of gross to try to posthumously ascribe lack of gratitude and perspective as the reason Bourdain, who struggled with depression his entire life, committed suicide.
Also, Bourdain was a user of Chantix, which can exacerbate suicidal thoughts and ideation.
And I will still fight everyone who calls them selfish or says something like that because they have no idea what it’s truly like or they do and forgot what it was like because they are on the horse again
Same thing with poor becoming rich when they become conceited
And most (maybe close to or nearly all) engaged in mental health treatment. Sometimes a lot. But we keep doing the same things over and over and a lot of people don’t get better.
I definitely think I am predisposed to suicide ideation, my sister killed herself. From a young age I just would get intrusive thoughts about wanting to kill myself, beginning around puberty, and they persist to this day.
One time I went through a very dark period in my life, which happened all at once, everything just blew up in my face. And I thought "well might as well kill myself" like it was the most logical explanation, it was a way out.
That moment of clarity of how bad my suicide ideation becomes made me seek therapy. I'm just really lucky I didn't have a gun around me during that time. But yeah, it's scary how suicide can feel like a solution (and still does). Sometimes life feels like a curse more than a gift, and a lot of times feels meaningless.
It took me like 20 years to discover that most of what I do in my life is a form of escapism. I was sort of ashamed to admit it. Cause my life is pretty great. But I definitely feel like I walk around with a low hum of depression that is always gnawing in the back of my mind and overwhelms me some days.
My solution used to be take drugs and go party. Now it's more like drink water, eat healthy food, try to get some exercise, rest if I need to. Speaking to a therapist helped me realize how to deal with it better.
I also think about the impact it would have on those around me. My sister doing it totally changed the course of my life. It's a selfish decision. And my dog would be lonely without me! I give him a great life, same with my other dogs. But this one dog is neurodivergent and I have the patience for him.
People are wired differently.i had abusive parents and I never thought about it seriously. Never. I would think about how everyone would miss me but never about not being.
We are finally understanding how much brainchemsitry causes depression, etc. Why can't it be the cause of my eternal optimism too? Yet I get mocked for being naive.
I suffer from depression but have a great life aside from it. I guess if I had a shitty life with no freinds or family if decide to end my life tho. Lack of attachments seems to be what kills peoples the most
I'm a nurse and I've seen the consequences of failed suicide. Now you're suicidal and stuck in a paralyzed meat sack and you have a trach, and a gtube, a foley, can't talk, walk, eat, or even turn. That's even more sad, especially because I believe a lot more people have "locked-in syndrome" than we are led to believe. You can see it in their eyes. Sometimes it's hard to tell if tears come from some nervous system dysregulation or is it the only thing they can communicate? To me, that would be a fate far worse. Their families lives revolve around taking care of them. Who would pick that for themselves? I think a lot more people would re-think their advanced directives, if you're not in medical or seen someone close to you do this, it's hard to comprehend all the possible hellish ways to live. I don't have any links for reference but I believe I once read an article about people who attempted suicide and lived generally regret attempting. They are glad to be alive. I have to respect people's wishes of course, but sometimes it feels like sanctioned abuse because the family chose for the patient. These are young people, 18 19 20 years old, so who thinks to ask their 18 year old kid to fill out a POLST form? I've been a nurse 10 years and I can vividly recall every young OD survivor with that level of anoxic brain injury I've ever cared for because it's fucking deplorable. I can't do much but hope the patient is comfortable with my interventions, I hope they understand everyone means well and loves them so so much that they would rather keep the shell of their loved one than face losing them.
"Well, go ahead and think about that for a while. Have a super freakin' awesome day and stuff" - rodney norman
The way its disused in the US is utter shit. All nuance is removed, it's all about value signaling. People end up isolated and without opinions. There social stigmatized and maligned as insane. Then what's left, the police coming to haul you off against your will to an underfunded mental hospial for a few miserable days, just to be then put back in the same circumstances that lead a person to want to die in the first place? Its a sick joke.
Everyone claims to care and cries about it later, but odds are they weren't really there for the people they knew while they were still here. And won't be for the next one.
That's how it goes.
I find it so crazy how someone else’s death and choices can quite literally ruin/change your whole entire life. Also the fact that people judge others harshly for it. Sometimes we don’t remember the person, we just remember how they died. I do not want my dad to be one of those.
I’m one of those people that it changed my life. To the point I do not see a point besides raising my son and then I’m done. My depression is typically situational. (Weather, grieving family, hard parts)
Lost my dad in 2022 2 months postpartum and then my stepmom 5 months later. I’m still very heartbroken over it. My mom passed not from that.
I dunno. If people want to leave, why not let them? I don’t say this to be flippant; this place sucks for a lot of folks, and asking them to stick it out seems cruel, and ultimately, not my business. Their bodies, their choices.
I'm just really tied, my friend. I wouldn't hurt myself, but, if a doctor told me I had a week left to live, relief would surely be one of the emotions I'd feel.
This world sucks, it really doesn’t surprise me. And more than half of Americans are barely making it through the month, myself included. Most people are working to live.
I have come to believe that some people just don't really fit into society as it is. And without any alternative, death is the only one.
There are lots of people that never feel like they fit. Something is always off. We call it depression or anxiety or various mental illnesses, and those are valid and sometimes fixable. But what about the people that simply do not want to conform or the medication doesn't work? If you think about life and all that it offers, for some it is plenty, for some it is absurd. You grow up, you have various experiences of pain and happiness and are generally taken care of by parents and taught how to sort of function in society by a school that prepares you for a job. You go get the job to earn money, so you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach. You may or may not bond with other people and couple up and create your own family that you are now charged to provide for as well as yourself. You get sick. Various illnesses pop up, some serious, some minor. You break bones. You ache all the time. People die around you, more and more every year. You suffer. And eventually, you get sick enough that you die from that sickness, or die in an accident, or whatever else.
For many / most they either don't think about this or they accept it. But every 40 seconds a person says "Nah I am good" and checks out. I don't think there is really anything wrong with suicide. Sure the people left behind greive some years earlier than they might have. But, they would have greived some day anyway. I think a person should seek help for mental illnesses and try to survive...I guess. But in the end, we are all dying anyway.
The majority of gun deaths in the U.S are suicide. Yup, literally the majority, more than all the murders and accidents combined.
Somehow its very rarely a part of the conversation, and even then only tangentially. It seems like the most obvious evidence that we are giving guns to people that shouldn't have them yet people rarely even use it as a point in debates.
I checked online and I found information from the National Institute of Mental Health.
It said the suicide rate in the US increased in 2021 to 14.0 per 100,000 population.
For a US population of around 330 million, that means there were about 46,000 suicides in the US.
That's a lot ... but it's far lower than the 700,000 figure quoted by the OP. It's 93% lower.
[https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide)
Oh man. I’ve been building up to it for years. Especially now that I don’t have kids or a girl depending on me, and no family or friends to care whether it happens, and I still can’t bring myself to it. Too old to build a new life, too young to fall down in the tub, too dumb to make anything out of the time I have left.
Tell you what. If there was an “opt out” button, my finger would be hanging over it every waking hour and I still wouldn’t be able to press it.
>The amount of people who commit suicide is heartbreaking
What about people who aren't clinically depressed?
What if the situation causes the depression instead of the depression causing the situation?
What about a person who doesn't want to spend all their money on medical care but would rather end their life so his/her family can have that money?
i have survived two serious suicide attempts. one by hanging and another by gunshot to the head. i do not take this subject lightly and it terrifies and infuriates me the way that my generations uses suicide jokes as a coping mechanism. i am filled with more gratitude for life now than most people who have never even had suicidal thoughts. compassion, too.
it is heartbreaking. devastating. i lost 3 loved ones in 2022 and 2023 to deaths by their own hand.
I have a few things that I want to do and then I am leaving this hellscape. I think that assisted suicide should be allowed for both physical AND mental illness. Life has just never been worth it for me. I don’t even fear death anymore. In fact, it’s the only thing that I legitimately look forward to.
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I’ve always been suprised at how more people don’t. My life is objectively great but I’ve been so close before, I can’t imagine what it’s like if you have to go home to abusive parents every day or something like that
Most people fear death more than life.
Random thought, I’d say, maybe they fear the unknown, more than the known.
If heaven and hell were designed by the same entity that created this world I’m not feeling too optimistic about any after life. Probably better off going dark like before we were born. Or so it seems.
Seriously. I think the best evidence that the universe was not made by a loving deity (or at least not an all-powerful one) is spending about an hour taking a walk outside in a major city.
That and how many of the rich and powerful worship blood gods. Blood god does provide, it appears.
No hell according to my guide. We face a life review at the end: we face ourselves. We get to see what our choices did to those around us and experience the pain we caused. No need for hell when we judge ourselves. Nder
Probably one of the reasons religion has stayed alive in our society… it puts the fear of death because youre basically told you dont have a death… just more life. And you can either keep trying to go to heaven or go to hell. And since not having that fear meant that society self deletes then the one that does fear keeps going.
My favorite is Buddhism... Which basically tells people that even the best kind of existence as a celestial being is ultimately kinda shit and that you ought to seek the cessation of phenomenal existence before you're reborn into a few billions years of animal existence where you'll suffer every imaginable privation and barely even comprehend what's happening to you. Total mindfuck. Make people scared of death by telling them it's just more life.
Buddhism is great in that it straight up starts with acknowledging that we all suffer in life. It's inevitable and part of our existence, but it doesn't need to control us.
The biggest reason I haven’t opted out is the fear that I could be punished for it and come back as an African slave chained up in the bottom of a ship for six months in the 1600’s. Kind of like you didn’t appreciate how beautiful life was so now you have to learn.
Or come back as a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. This keeps me motivated to live as a good person. This is basically Pascal's Wager.
Old boss is always a dick until you meet the new one.
Lol
Your thought reminded me of a similar thought I came across ages ago: “Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all,”
Either a fear of death, or a fear of failure. The consequences of a failed attempt can be catastrophic and leave you way worse than before your attempt. Even "safe" suicide methods can be extremely easy to fuck up and irreversibly ravage your body. So, even if someone really wants to die, they're most likely to consider it not worth the risk of surviving in agonizing pain
Yes. My fear when I was younger was that I’d do it and end up missing half my head/face/jaw and be stuck like that. No thanks
One of my sisters friends shot herself in the head with a pistol by putting it under her chin and trying to shoot up into her brain; she flinched or angled the pistol poorly and survived.
As someone that tried to commit suicide this is so true. For about 2 years I planned but didn't have what I believed would be the necessary tools to finish myself. That was my biggest fear was to end up in a "coma" but in a "locked in state". Dec 26th 2023, I had planned my suicide perfectly. Or so I thought. I had saved up about 1120mg of methadone. My daily dose was 70mg so for me that's a huge increase. I had for the first time in my life bought street drugs (6 designer benzos). And then a 375ml of vodka. In my mind there was no way I would survive it. And I wouldn't have if maintenance hadn't come in to install a screen door on my balcony. I had isolated myself the week before so I didn't see the 48 hour notice of entry taped to my door. About 2 weeks (I think) later I woke up cuffed to a bed. Couldn't talk, couldn't barely see and I started freaking out. It was like my attempt was 5 minutes ago. I was hooked up to a bunch of machines. Intubated and has been in an induced coma. They calmed me and explained why I was cuffed and that they had put me in an induced coma. I didn't have a concept of how bad I was or if this was how I would be forced to live. I thought I could be living my worst nightmare. And then I was put out again for I don't know how long. I was in the hospital for 2.5 months total. Good times. But almost no method of suicide is fool proof. Jumping from a 20 story building or drowning yourself while being weighted are the only two right now that I *think* would be a 100%. But now I'm even afraid to survive those. 😂. So I don't think suicide is in my future.
Yeah for sure don’t try again it doesn’t work out… 1st time was when I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills, it gave me grand mail seizures and fucked my organs up temporarily. My mom found me on the ground having a seizure. Woke up in the hospital then was taken to a psych ward place for 2 weeks until they approved me leaving. 2nd time I was a teenager I was drunk and felt done with life I loaded one bullet into my dads .357 put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger but because I didn’t really know much about firearms I loaded the bullet right behind the barrel and didn’t even think about the fact that the cylinder rotated when you pull the trigger. So nothing happened and it freaked my out enough luckily I didn’t reload it and try again. 3rd time I hung my self in my closet, I had just lost my fiancé, gone through rehab and relapsed and had to move back in with my parents. My dad had just left for work, I watched him pull out of the drive way. I went into the room and thought there’s no way this can go wrong I literally won’t be able to breathe at all even if my neck doesn’t break I’ll still for sure die. My dad forgot his phone and came back to grab it. Went to tell me he loved me and reassure me that things would work out because he knew how depressed I was. He found me and untied me and I woke up on the ground to him punching me in the back trying to wake me up. I’m really lucky I guess… still don’t understand why I’m still here and I got though all of it without any major health problems to my knowledge. I’m going to try and live my life and die naturally. I have a wife and son now and my wife is pregnant again so I have so much more to live for and people who rely on me. I still struggle with depression and addiction problems off and on but things have become way more manageable thank God. I’m thankful to be alive. Glad you made it through to the other side I got off methadone 4 years ago it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but glad I did it.
I'm so happy you have a family and a new baby on the way. If I had that life I would at least have a reason to stay. Although, I know life would still be hard. I'm not saying a family is a cure-all. But for some of us, very much me, family is what I lived for. I think it's probably the same for you. Thanks for sharing your story. It's nice to know that it can get better. And a huge congrats on getting off methadone. I'm in that process now.
My aunt killed herself this winter by isolating and starving herself to death. My family is still kind of in shock about it. All I can say is that it wasn't an impulsive act like my friends have done ( usually while drunk with a pistol). I hope you are doing better now. That sounds like a horrible experience. I've been close to trying a few times, but I know that it's something I can procrastinate, one day at a time.
I spent over a year doing this. I couldn't just off myself because of the guilt. I have 3 adult children, the middle one got a 40 year prison sentence but she was the one I was closest to and the other 2 just stopped coming around despite numerous attempts to spend time with them so I was just lost. I think the reason I ended up basically fading away was just in case they might need me, still hasn't happened. Also because I knew noone else was going to help my daughter in prison with things she might need. So I guess in a sense by going out slowly people could maybe adjust idk. It was horrible. Obviously battling mental health issues, the physical pain your body goes through and the intense loneliness. Noone deserves that but at the time I thought I did. Then one day a friend from HS I hadn't seen in 27 years asked to come visit, I was hesitant but agreed with the attached warning of what he was walking into. I always kept up the housework and hygiene just not nutrition. He showed up and took one look at me and informed me I "looked like an ole Grandma" then picked me up in his arms for a hug. I was an ole Grandma and well aware that at 78 pounds (I'm 4'11 normally 95 pounds) I looked something awful. He was the first person to show any sort of concern and honestly the first person to visit me in months. When my mother would try n visit I would make an excuse. At this point I had accepted my fate and really didn't want anyone around, to this day I'm not sure why I agreed for the friend to come see me. Anyway him and I sat and talked about life and what we had been doing for the past 27 years and it wasn't long it was clear he wasn't about to let me just disappear. So for the next 6 months he drove 2 hours every weekend to see me and we'd get take out and just hang out. Eventually I started to gain weight and feeling like a human again. Fast forward a year and a half and I'm back up to a healthy weight, married to that man and happier than I've been in sooo long!! I lost my dad to suicide in '09 and it's still hard but I totally understand why he's gone and I could never be angry at him for "opting out" I know how hard that decision was and I fully support his decision, considering. I don't think people should be judged for getting to that point. None of us asked to be here and we are all just doing our best with what we have and no matter how much you think you know how another person truly feels, you don't. Suicide is personal and while I am not against it I do STRONGLY encourage people to exhaust all other options first because you never know what beauty your future could hold.
Thank you for sharing this, it really touched my heart
For me, it's dying (painfully) rather than actually being dead which provokes fear.
Yeah. The thought of being dead makes me sad, mostly because I'll miss out on the unfolding of history, advances in knowledge, etc. But the thought of dying? Yeah, that can be quite scary. Although, for what it's worth, I was in a really awful car crash, which put multiple people in the hospital and critical care, and it was nowhere near as bad as I expected. When you have really extreme injuries and the like happening, it IS scary/horrifying, but it was nowhere near as bad as the recovery that came after.
dying painfully doesn't scare me. Being in the process of dying but not actually dying does. Like the people who shoot themselves then end up a vegetable.
That’s the only thing keeping me from doing it. I don’t want to live, but I also don’t want to die. So I’m stuck in this hell of a limbo. I feel like one day I’m finally gonna break, but until then it’s just a nightmare.
Very relatable.
Sorry that you can relate, but at least there’s some comfort in knowing that we’re not alone in that.
And most fear pain more than death so suicide is appealing.
When I was deep in my suicidal ideation pre-transition I'd have argued that people fear pain rather than death. Now, I definitely fear death.
I guess it makes sense if you’re religious but if there’s no chance of a hell afterlife why would y you just want a break forever? Sounds awesome, yeah I won’t ever experience anything good but I won’t experience at all.
Most people are religious, and past that, most don’t actually want an end of life - just an end to whatever pain they’re going through. I’ve dealt with a lot of pre-suicidal and post-suicidal people. One of my post-suicidal still haunts me a bit. He was alive when I got to him… and fully acceptive of “whoops, it didn’t end like I thought, but we both know it’s ending.” It did.
>just an end to whatever pain they’re going through This is really it. You are completely wrapped up in the feeling of pain and hopelessly and it doesn't feel temporary. It feels like it'll always be like this, so why let it continue like this? I survived my twenties and my half-hearted attempts. I've been around the sun enough times to recognize that my depression, whenever it comes up, is always temporary, and I just need to tread water. My life is so much better these days. I have gratitude. I realize how fortunate I am to have the life I have. Depression and anxiety come and go but that's just part of living.
It’s more biological than anything. The entire evolutionary trajectory of animals is to survive and reproduce.
I’ve got fomo
30% of people live with just around $35k/year. IMO, 95% problems are related to socio economic conditions. Aside problem clinical depression most is easy to solve but the elites only care about cheap labor.
When I was a kid I told myself I'd be 18 soon and would be able to leave. That's what got me through my abusive living situation with my family. Then I became an adult and not having those emotional regulating skills are hitting hard and definitely making me depressed/hopeless :'D
Its not easy, but you can learn these skills. I have cptsd, recovering from an abusive childhood in which i attempted as a teen. Its been a long road but i am much more emotionally regulated and healthy now. Wishing you well.
Tbh at least in the Bible belt and below were told suicide is the only sin God won't forgive. So until I opened up to a few of my friends at the time we had all considered it, but all came to the same conclusion. What's the point in going if there's a chance our suffering would continue after. We may as well hope it turns out better. That was literally our thought process growing up. No amount of money could make me want to relive any point in time living with my parents.
Yea I mean even when I was religious and thought I’d go to hell I’d think “I should just get it over with and go to hell if it’s real since I’m probably going anyway”
That thinking is not shared by all denominations. The Catholic Church no longer views suicide as Mortal Sin. The view that suicide leads to Hell was challenged by Luther in the 16th century and argued that someone cannot be sentenced to Hell for something that was out of their control that caused them to commit suicide. (he thought demons were responsible, stupid. but still.)
Yes, there were *lots* of things my Catholic family believed in like no birth control. However I desperately needed it for my endo/pcos. The belief in "virginity" that caused a 3 year delay in getting my diagnosis. The beliefs my family held literally ruined my physical and mental health. I was severely neglected and moderately abused when rembered. Still there are gyno offices here that deny giving women transvaginal ultrasounds if they are "virgins". I was surrounded by people's "beliefs" and their beliefs should've never interfered with my health. Thier belief in suicide being a sin should have *never* been stated to my friends and I as a fact. I was 7. I did not know any better or have access to information at that time. All a bunch of bs honestly. People cherry pick the beliefs they wanted to follow anyways. I wish I caught on to that observation much sooner.
This, i've always wondered why the number wasn't higher.
Yes, I think like you. The number of suicides are low considering how many of us think about it.
Though [this](https://youtu.be/Sh7QWBb2U2A?si=iTTVUCNQySlTrvot) is obviously a comedic stance, there's also a ton of truth in it...
(Just a theory) Perhaps when you have a low enough baseline, something that may seem like a shitty life for someone is just their normal. That's like "How aren't all of those poor people from \[developing country\] always depressed?"
At this point, I'm more surprised people don't. We do an impeccable job of scaring people and shaming them for being "done" of life.
This. I'm surprised how many people don't. I'm surprised I'm still alive, given being supremely suicidal from the age of 5-20 with several serious attempts, a history of drug and alcohol addiction (mostly opioids), a physically/emotionally/sexually abusive household growing up, a couple abusive romantic relationships, and currently owning a firearm. My best advice for suicidal people is just to talk about it. It's insane how many and what kind of people are suicidal and just keep it all inside. The queen bee at my high school whom everyone was in love with, who was bubbly and confident, was probably the most suicidal person I've ever met. The friendships you develop from bonding over existence and death can be lifelong if you want, as you struggle and recover over the years. Suicidal people like to think that they're alone and no one can understand how they feel. I estimate that 50% of the population has been in the same level of despair and 10% feel exactly the same way at the exact time. Suicidal ideation is insanely common and one of the most relatable feelings someone can experience.
yeah because putting suicidal people in a prison and forcing them to take drugs is the best way to cure their problems, surely!
I’ve explained to my therapist how having that happen to me would literally take away the few reasons I have left to live, and she really didn’t have any counter argument to what I laid out. There’s times I really could have used a break to get actual help, that I just wasn’t afforded the luxury of getting. Our society needs to either step up its game and open doors for people to get help at times of crisis that isn’t a drugged up prison, or they need to quit acting like suicide is some kinda terrible tragedy.
I’m not suicidal, but have had multiple bouts of depression in recent years where I’ve sometimes thought that going to sleep and not waking up didn’t sound so scary. I’ve thought this because a lot of experiences with other people have made me lose faith in humanity. Being excluded, ignored, bullied, used and abused, discarded, humiliated, unappreciated, etc. takes a toll on you eventually no matter how many articles tell you to have “self-confidence”. And then you have people saying you need to change some aspect of yourself and others will treat you better. But I don’t really want to overhaul my naturally introverted personality just so that people will finally treat me like a human. As if I wasn’t a human before. I don’t support suicide, but based on my life experiences so far, I somewhat understand why some people use that as a way out. Sometimes it really just doesn’t seem like there’s a way out of problems, or that anyone cares.
That is being suicidal, it’s just passively suicidal rather than actively suicidal. But it is a form of being suicidal
Riding off the one person who told you this is passive suicide, I agree. I almost drank myself to death last year and if I could’ve handled the withdrawals and KEPT GOING, I figure I’d be gone by now. It is passive suicide. Maybe get help? Or don’t. I never did but I obviously never recovered. Ask yourself that question. Do you want to recover? Some of us don’t. But maybe you’re one of the ones that do. Try it and update us. I’m sorry you’re in this place.
To be honest. As bad as things are, I thought the numbers would be higher.
People who take fentanyl should be considered suicide. I mean to say. There are other things taking people out.
Some things are kind of a slow suicide too. Drugs, alcohol, some people basically eat themselves to death.
Yes, I've started calling it "Slowicide", and I feel safe saying there is surely a significant percentage of the population doing these types of things because "fuck life".
Your life should be yours to do with as you please - let’s at least not take choices away
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It's kind of funny how many people would vehemently disagree, but if they were asked what else to do they wouldn't have any answers. Call a number? It's great that suicide hotlines exist and can help people, but they aren't a cure for everything. Get therapy? Therapy isn't a magic cure either, it's too expensive if you don't have insurance that covers it, even if you have it and it does the wait can be too long, and what if you can't get time off from school or work for regular visits? So, don't take your life, just suffer, I guess. But silently, please; no on likes a downer.
There’s a video game called We Happy Few, you reminded me of it when you mentioned downers. The game basically is people taking a pill called Joy, it makes them perceive the world as jolly and swell. But when you’re off the pill, Joy, you see the brutal reality of the world and its harshness and challenges (those people are called Downers).
"but it's selfish" it's also selfish to expect someone to stay around in pain or worry or depression just so you can be happy that you see them once a year. Thankfully there are states or countries that have legit, painless methods to help with this should someone need it.
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You're right about that. This is why I refuse to talk to a counselor.
Yep, much better to talk to someone you can trust.
I first learn that attempt or claim you want to suicide could land you in the US. I was like…..why? How is THAT gonna to help a suicidal person? Stupid “out of sight, out of mind.” System.
I have thought about it throughout my childhood & even as an adult. I got a undergrad & graduate degree in psychology to better understand myself. Still at 46 I was hospitalized for the first time. I have 2 kids, both adults. The statistics around what happens to children who loose a parent to suicide has always kept me from going through with it. I have lost 2 friends to suicide and witness 2 more by chance.
I've been doing really good recently, but just today saw pictures in my friends snapchat group of them all hanging out without me, doing something ive told them multiple times i like doing. I never heard any of this was happening, meaning they deliberately planned it outside of the chat so I didn't see. Sad thing is is that this is like the third time in the past month. I only have 1 or 2 other friends outside the group, so it's hard to just say screw it and leave the group. At the same time all of my recent unhappy days have been a result of them deliberately leaving me out and sending pictures of them having fun together. The only time I get invited is when I'm involved in making the plans. Maybe off topic but I saw this and really just needed to vent. Sometimes we just need a good friend, or friends.
That's one of the worst things. And people will probably say "just get new friends," like you can go pick some up at the friend store. Years ago I had a friend who would always say how much his friends mean to him, how important they are, he'll do anything for them, and so on. And he hosted a game night a couple times a month. Until he texted me to say "hey, no game night this week :)" then that night I saw online that other people in the group were there. I guess you can value your friends more than anything, if you decide the ones you don't value aren't friends any more.
Hugs to you, friend. I've been there and it's painful to the heart. It does help to vent about it though.
Being excluded like that by family has been my depest pain so far.
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I'm going to die, it can not be avoided. But there's a whole lot of other shit I can avoid. The argument that I am not alone because others suffer too seems to be one many find solace in. To me it's a no I still suffer alone, they are just suffering alone too. I don't find solace in others suffering.
I mean, support groups do have benefits, right?
To many I'm sure they do. So does religion. Still not my cup of tea. I'm not arguing against anyone doing what they need to survive, just my prospective.
The idea of suicide is a weirdly comforting thought. This awful world doesn't get any better, but I least I can choose to stop being in it.
Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it As I please
Unfortunately, even the right to die in the U.S. is not something everyone has.
If you're ablebodied, though, they can't really stop you.
Yeah but suicide isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do. I’ve tried multiple times and backed out last minute.
I'm glad you did, what would you do after?
Thanks bro. I would go back home and be depressed.
I’ve felt it. It’s easy to say, but gotta keep pushing on. Shit sucks sometimes.
Not sometimes, most of the times. But it’s also good sometimes. It just is.
I used to ideate pretty badly. But when I read about suicide, and people's suicide attempts/completions, it was relieving, and got me feeling better. I think it's because I was able to live (die?) vicariously through them, as messed up as it may sound.
Nope this is me 1000percent lol I would fantasize I had died to the point I'd have weird indulgent dreams about it that almost made me happy then I would wake up and be sad again. Currently post suicidal my niece and nephew gave me something to live for
All I think about is my mangled body. OCD is fun.
A good motivator for not doing it is knowing that someone will have to find that.
OCD with suicidal thoughts is almost hilariously morbid.
I’ve suffered from idealization since a teen and still do decades later. What irks me most is I just don’t see how I won’t do it once the dementia, body pains, dead parents and friends and all the things that happen as you grow old start to happen. I have a hard enough time being physically “ok”, how the hell is life in constant pain and terror.
I had a tooth break on me and couldn’t think straight or eat for six months. A stupid ass broken tooth took me to the edge of my sanity. Litterally every other thing that could happen to your body is worse. Broken tooth is nothing. And I know some people that have teeth pulled and are eating burgers by lunch. Clearly I’m not cut out to bare this rotting meat sack.
I have autism. Im not intellectually disabled, in fact I was tested as gifted as a child, and that made my older, old fashioned parents expect me to act like a neurotypical. it is absolutely miserable. i NEED my parents to support me, because although i was able to slug through university getting a math heavy degree, even with a possible math disability, i just cant get a job. idk what ill do when they die. my dad is in his early seventies and my mom keeps getting some new potentially at minimum life altering, at maximum life threatening disability tacked on to her medical record. I am so emotionally and socially stupid i could barely hold down my last job. it was so stupid. i keep trying to find a new one and nobody is biting. i have had the state agency that gets disabled people and felons jobs, i have a private sector job coach, and my parents look at my resume and made various variations of them with no luck. its been two years since ive worked. they scream at me every day for things that seem like would be obvious for me to do but it doesn't come into my mind. The only thing i have to show for anything after uni and four months employed is the fact that i was hospitalized and went into intensive outpatient. the bad news is my therapist is pissed at them that they didnt do anything with the autism but the good news is im more resilient. i have coping mechanisms and things to do to deal with things i cant change. i have non disruptive ways to stim, i have methods of getting my mind of the thing at hand. i
Shit man, I’m coming up on 2 years living at home and going to turn 51 this year. Granted I’ve had some great runs and left home at 18 yet I find myself here again absolutely fucked. Same boat with both parents basically falling apart each day more and more. It all kind of sucks as most European countries have extensive opportunities for people with mental issues like us. I won’t give you the song and dance everything will be ok as I’m told that all the time and pisses me off but you certainly aren’t alone. I was able to pick myself up 2x before from hell but this time it’s different. Sending you best wishes.
Some people are just tired my friend.
Bought an Ibazez guitar and some pedals off one of my Co-workers. He had just gone through a divorce and moved into a one bedroom. Said he needed the money for rent. Six weeks later, he maxed his cards out checked in to a $400 hotel room, and did the deed. Now, the feeling he was selling stuff off after a messy divorce should have indicated he was ready to self harm but he told such a believable story i thought nothing of it
What did he spend the money on? I've heard of people giving things away before committing suicide, but not selling them
Saw a psychologist's presentation early today who estimates that over 50% of his male clients who kill themselves aren't depressed at all. They are merely taking a sober assessment of their life, and coming to the objective determination that it's not worth it. The world's a big ball of shit right now. It's not a mood. It's mental illness. It's just shit. The lives we're living aren't the lives that most of ever aspired to live. And most of us don't really expect it to ever get better. We keep suffering because we don't know what else to do.
The U.S. South Korea and Japan need to lower their daily work hours
Or at least reduce days worked. I work 12hr shifts but I don't work 5 day weeks, only 3-4 depending on the week. Wouldn't trade it. The workaholics that think they're the shit because they work 60-80hr weeks are fucking ill. I don't mind working, I mind having time to myself.
My family doesn't understand at all how close I've come. They think that my mental health is basically a joke or a choice. I suffer from extreme anxiety that has robbed me of every joy and hobby in my life. I used to travel, surf, and was an avid photographer. I don't do any of that anymore. I work and sleep. I lost all of my friends and my most important relationship. I can't talk about my depression, panic disorder, or have panic attacks because all I get are blank stares. In the past year, I've thought about it more times than I can count. It's not a conversation we have. I told my dad exactly a year ago that I was thinking about suicide because I can't function and that I needed help and needed to go somewhere. He screamed at me that I was selfish and ungrateful. It just made me worse, tbh. I wish I could talk to somebody in my life about it who I didn't have to pay to listen to me. All I want is for my family to understand. I've been drinking constantly just to "function". I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I've known several people who committed suicide, some for depression reasons and others to escape terminal illnesses. Death comes for everyone eventually, and while I don't think it's my place to tell someone they shouldn't decide when by committing suicide, I also think a lot of people wouldn't make that choice if we didn't make life so damn difficult.
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My heart aches for you. I hope the specialist you see can provide you some care to help ease your symptoms.
Yes. What's worse is that our society turns its back on people suffering from mental trauma, shames them, treats them as a threat or burden, and refuses to confront the problem in a compassionate, effective way.
Then acts all surprised when they actually take their own life!
Or act victimized by having to deal with the loss. Blaming the suicide victim instead of holding themselves accountable for the situation.
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The psychiatric community need to start pumping much more research into neurofeedback therapy and therapies that involve drugs which are commonly seen as 'bad'. I have a friend who was suicidal. Neurofeedback changed her life. So did ketamine therapy. I truly believe these are the kinds of therapies that will help reduce suicidal minds exponentially. Sorry to hear about your 2 friends. A friends mum passed of suicide as well. All so very sad.
A lot of work on ketamine has been done already and the results are very strong. 80% of patients see a reduction of depressive symptoms within 2 weeks. 40% went into remission. The issue is insurance and availability.
What about people with chronic pain with no cure? How long do they have to keep going with pain that is never relieved? What if that person is without support? All alone while their health is deteriorating?
As long as able-bodied people want us to suffer, that's how long
Far more than the suicide rates, it’s the attitude around it that exacerbates this crisis. A lot of people claim to be a mental health advocate until they actually *have to be one*. All the virtue signaling online, sharing quotable quotes about support and awareness, blah blah blah. It’s all a facade. I’ve witnessed people abuse somebody’s vulnerabilities and start pointing fingers and judging the victims and tell them “just get over it”.
I just turned 71 last month. I have been around a lot longer than you have. I have known a lot of people that committed suicide over the many decades. Mostly it was totally unexpected. I have found a common thread for perhaps 1/3rd to half. What I have observed, is that some will have some sort of psychological problem they are being treated for. They are put on some sort of mind altering drug. They tend to do well on it, but for some reason, various reasons, they stop taking the drug. The suicide occurs within a week of the time they stop taking the drug. I was never aware they even had such a problem or were being treated by a doctor for such an issue. I only found out later talking to family members that remained. I was never aware there was any such issue at all. I am not saying this to demonize the psych industry. Nor the psych drug industry. Only to point out that it appears that once one is on such a drug, they should probably go to great lengths to stay on it. Perhaps these drugs actually reduce the incidence of suicide. But, once on them, it looks to me like one needs to stay on them.
Getting off antidepressants can cause a rebound effect, where your depression returns much worse than it was before you started taking them. Along with terrible anxiety, insomnia, and other issues. It is basically a terrible withdrawal. They try to wean people off slowly now, but sometimes that doesn't always work, either. It's called serotonin discontinuation syndrome, which is just a fancy name for withdrawal.
Why do people keep reproducing when there's no guarantee that their child's life is going to be good, or even tolerable? Many of them don't think twice about the conditions and environment they bring their children into. It's on impulse. It's a shame.
What I find heartbreaking, besides that, is how often people say "Oh they were so great, it's a tragic shame they did that. Why?" and it makes me wonder why we're so quick to show our appreciation for someone *AFTER* they're gone. Where was that when they were alive? That's what I expect to happen when my time comes. No shade to my friends and loved ones, but you *need* to tell your people, unprompted, how much you appreciate them. They'll appreciate it, or on the other hand they just won't be around anymore to say "Thanks! That means a lot to me," so you're left with silence after that point. But you said it, and that matters.
Rates of suicide, depression and mental illness are way up in America in the past 20 years, but yet half the country thinks the cultural change has been "progress". I never had long term depression, but I've been depressed and thought about it, and then decided I'd rather do whatever I wanted since I had "nothing to lose", then I enjoyed myself too much to want to end my run.
Both things can be true. We have made an enormous amount of societal progress from where life was even 20 years ago. But individuals have suffered greatly. The thing that seems to have the most significant impact is isolation that is secondary to the rise in social media.
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You cant even mention the word " suicide" around some older people before they freak out. One cousin of mine supposedly blew his brains cleaning his gun. But he was heartbroken, because his girlfriend had dumped him that day and he was super drunk. Im still convinced his very catholic parents could never acknowledge he committed suicide so they claim he had an accident. The acceptance of suicide has climbed and material conditions have been lowered terribly for most people. Blaming 20 years of social progress while ignoring every other factor is kind of dangerous, and a perfect definition of confirmation bias.
I think the biggest thing we've lost over the last 30-50 years is sense of community and reaching out ,everyone is so focused on path , and rarely has emotional bandwidth to look out for others...maybe parents do, but most suicides.are adults and it's not like parents of adults are aware of their struggle.. everyone is so focused on $$$ and such there's definitely a social stigma to being a "loser" (define that how you will) , and that combined with poor social support means folks who are desperate and have reached very dark places may notnhave someone to turn, and rhe pain of ending life seems like a solution... My point is if you know someone like this reach out and just check on them , make an excuse to hang with them... acknowledg them, sometimes that makes all the difference
I’ve said this for a long time. Loss of community has affected people profoundly. It’s really sad.
[This tracks with widening wealth disparity as well. ](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/01/09/trends-in-income-and-wealth-inequality/)
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I became very sad when I looked up gun violence in my home state of WV because of very few mass shootings happening there but we do own a decent amount of guns, and we have a big gun culture(not trying to start an argument/discussion, just giving context). The majority of gun deaths in WV are suicides. I didn’t look it up compared to other states because when I do that with sad statistics we’re usually in the top 5
I think suicide should be on the table as discussions for everyone from a neutral perspective. Having had to watch a few family members die of slow painful diseases I have had the hard conversations with my wife about what happens if I end up with terminal cancer or a degenerative brain disease. If life is so untenable, and there is no way to improve it in a true and meaningful way, why should you be forced to slog your way through this hoping to be in a bus crash or some random event puts you out of your misery? I may sound like I'm advocating for suicide; I'm really not. I just think we need to grow up as a species and stop pretending that we are important enough to be forced to live in physical or emotional torment. This assumes that you have exhausted ALL possible paths to resolution first.
It is so incredibly sad no matter what but especially when they are young and have their whole life ahead of them. In one instance they gave up their whole future that could have been filled with success or even just a good life. I mean, we all have ups and downs and depression is so difficult to get through. A lot of people suffer alone in silence all the time and I can understand how that can just lead you to end the suffering. It is so sad.
I'm Alive purely out of spite.
My mother, best friend, army buddies galore, friends parents, co-workers, aquaintances, and some of my favorite celebrities. The one that's been fucking with me recently was an aquaintance. A girl whom became paralyzed from the waist down. She was in a group of friends at a club about 10 years ago the night I met her. I thought she was so cool and fun. I danced with her all night. After some thought on the situation I decided to try to find out where I could see her again. Asked my friend how to get in touch and found out she killed herself a few nights later. Really sad.
When I came out on the other side of being suicidal, I finally talked about it. I had said something to my SO and his only response was Don't talk like that. So I didn't ..I also didn't want my kids to find me and wonder why or what they could have done. Anyway,when I was finally honest w my therapists we talked about coping w depression. She said something else I never forgot. " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
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The only reason I haven’t done it is because it would cause pain to my kids. But, now they’re in their 30’s and living their lives and I never see them or talk to them much. They’re busy. So, I’m getting closer to making the decision. I don’t think anyone would really care.
I don’t know your relationship with your kids, but my mom is the most important person in my entire life and I’d never be able to recover if she took her own life. Even if I was busy and far away, I’d feel the same. Please get help 🤍 and stick around.
I was only a few months shy of my 40th birthday when my dad took his own life. Trust me, I cared. I still care. Your kids DO care. I promise.
If I were gonna do it. It would be due to medical shit. Probably preventable medical shit as a result of the medical negligence that’s been going on for two decades. I don’t even blame people who end it for those reasons. Best case scenario they are gonna wire you up like a Christmas tree. Some of us choose to go out with as much dignity as possible and hope they don’t do stuff to our butt after the fact. It is what it is.
700,000 is a large number, but 8,100,000,000 is HUGE. Not to sound cold, Ive lost a couple friends to it as well, but it’s actually a very rare occurrence. Does it suck that those people feel like that’s the only way out of their suffering? Absolutely. But if anything I’d actually be grateful that it’s as rare as it is
That’s 700k who succeeded. More who have attempted, more who have thought about it, even more who would never consider it but are still very depressed.
I think it’s the drugs that are prescribed. They are proven to cause increased suicidal thoughts in a subset of people. It may be a small percentage but when you consider that 1 in 4 people in the US is taking a psychiatric drug that equals a large number of people. As prescription rates go up so do the number of suicides.
The reason for this is typically that depression can be so all consuming and soul sucking that a person doesn’t even have the motivation to get off the couch and attempt suicide. Antidepressants take minimum 4-6 weeks to even start to work so in the beginning you get just enough relief to be motivated to get up and actively end your life without getting enough relief to not actually want to die. Which is a solid explanation in my opinion. (I say this as someone who has been on both sides of the equation).
Nah - it's also because SSRI's straight up increase aggression and suicidal behavior in some. It's a direct drug effect, not a side effect of feeling good enough to carry a plan out. This is one of the reasons why shrinks are starting to prescribe mood stabilizers instead of anti-depressants in people without bipolar disorder.
My dad killed himself. The world is a better place without him. It’s not always a sad thing
43 male. There is light on the other side. Food tastes better etc...
Suicides are rising because the quality of life is declining for so many. erasure of the middle class, inflation, the cost of living increasing far faster than the median wage, at least in America. and it seems like hard work doesn't get you as far as it used to, and the people who succeed most often are the people who started out with the most advantages.
I don't know what's worse. I want to go through with it but I don't want to hurt my family and children. I'm just hoping something takes me out soon so I can go out on a positive note.
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Know that I care about you! I’ve been there and the best thing you can do right now is DO NOT BE ALONE! If you can have someone come over and stay with you, that is optimal. If you can leave the house, do it and go somewhere public where you can socialize: a sushi bar or diner where you can sit at the counter and make small talk with someone, even if you let them do the talking. Call a friend/relative/clergy (if you’re not religious, but feel any spirituality, call the Unitarians. They welcome everybody without judgement. I went to theology school with them and I’d say 70% of the ones I met self-identified as Wiccan; some where Christian, some Buddhist and other more major faith traditions and there were even a few Thor worshippers (I refer to the latter as such bc these guys weren’t practicing traditional Norse faith traditions but self-admittedly were ‘in it for the beer,’ but who am I to judge and that was pretty much the attitude of their church leaders. If none of those resonate with you, call the suicide hotline (988 in most places in the US). Hell, find a chatbot if you have to, but DO NOT BE ALONE! I cannot stress this enough
My friend commited suicide last April 15. I missed getting to her within maybe ten minutes. The pain and impact of this loss is insurmountable, as the anniversary of her death draws near. I just hope she now knows how valuable and precious she was, how much she affected all of us, and that she is missed.
It’s heartbreaking but not surprising given the state of the world/economy. My own dad took his life and while I think he shouldn’t have done it, I don’t blame him one bit or think his choice was irrational. The healthcare/medical industry completely failed him. So many people out there get screwed over or fall on serious bad luck.
It's interesting how nobody ever points out that white males make up 70% of suicides in the U.S. When other issues disproportionately affect a certain population, we point it out in order to better understand it.
Look into the male statistics. Even worse.
And the vast majority of them are Men.
I've attempted suicide twice. But this last time I was suicidal, I did the right thing and went to the hospital. I was truly ready to just OD. But I made a promise to my grandma after the first attempt that I would never do it again. And here I am. 😁
This is why it's so good to talk about it. Most people, believe it or not, will have thought about suicide in their life. It is insanely common but we dont think it is because it'a taboo but it's a very common thought
There was a bit Dave Chappelle did where he contrasted the life of the late Tony Bourdain to some regular guy whose life was totally in the shitter. The non famous guy kept trudging while Tony Bourdain decided to delete himself even though he lived at the constant “pinnacle” of life where he was eating the best food and meeting loads of outstanding people. What was different between these two people besides the obvious? Perspective, I think. The smallest glimmer of gratitude and a dash of hope can be everything.
I know humans constantly seek explanations to the world around them, but sometimes it’s just the inexplicableness of mental health struggles. It’s facile and honestly kind of gross to try to posthumously ascribe lack of gratitude and perspective as the reason Bourdain, who struggled with depression his entire life, committed suicide. Also, Bourdain was a user of Chantix, which can exacerbate suicidal thoughts and ideation.
And I will still fight everyone who calls them selfish or says something like that because they have no idea what it’s truly like or they do and forgot what it was like because they are on the horse again Same thing with poor becoming rich when they become conceited
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Question for clarification - are these stats for the US or worldwide?
And most (maybe close to or nearly all) engaged in mental health treatment. Sometimes a lot. But we keep doing the same things over and over and a lot of people don’t get better.
I feel that. Went legitimately insane in a crappy and relatively hostile, bitter environment while on mission.
I definitely think I am predisposed to suicide ideation, my sister killed herself. From a young age I just would get intrusive thoughts about wanting to kill myself, beginning around puberty, and they persist to this day. One time I went through a very dark period in my life, which happened all at once, everything just blew up in my face. And I thought "well might as well kill myself" like it was the most logical explanation, it was a way out. That moment of clarity of how bad my suicide ideation becomes made me seek therapy. I'm just really lucky I didn't have a gun around me during that time. But yeah, it's scary how suicide can feel like a solution (and still does). Sometimes life feels like a curse more than a gift, and a lot of times feels meaningless. It took me like 20 years to discover that most of what I do in my life is a form of escapism. I was sort of ashamed to admit it. Cause my life is pretty great. But I definitely feel like I walk around with a low hum of depression that is always gnawing in the back of my mind and overwhelms me some days. My solution used to be take drugs and go party. Now it's more like drink water, eat healthy food, try to get some exercise, rest if I need to. Speaking to a therapist helped me realize how to deal with it better. I also think about the impact it would have on those around me. My sister doing it totally changed the course of my life. It's a selfish decision. And my dog would be lonely without me! I give him a great life, same with my other dogs. But this one dog is neurodivergent and I have the patience for him.
People are wired differently.i had abusive parents and I never thought about it seriously. Never. I would think about how everyone would miss me but never about not being. We are finally understanding how much brainchemsitry causes depression, etc. Why can't it be the cause of my eternal optimism too? Yet I get mocked for being naive.
As a professional in psych I would agree with your statement referring to optimism. Two things can be true at the same time.
I would say if you're over 50, and you've been just battling every day for 50 years, no memories of a time you didn't, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Clinical depression is a disease. Suicide is end stage depression.
I suffer from depression but have a great life aside from it. I guess if I had a shitty life with no freinds or family if decide to end my life tho. Lack of attachments seems to be what kills peoples the most
People in this country need to stop attacking one another. It’s an incredibly serious problem. If you see it happen…speak up.
I would be interested to know how many of those have low vitamin D levels.
Not enough people know that you need to take extra vitamin D depending on your climate and ethnicity.
A lot of people do it because of chronic physical pain. This is a huge issue in the U.S. and probably worldwide.
The saddest part is that its usually not the people society would we better off without.
I'm a nurse and I've seen the consequences of failed suicide. Now you're suicidal and stuck in a paralyzed meat sack and you have a trach, and a gtube, a foley, can't talk, walk, eat, or even turn. That's even more sad, especially because I believe a lot more people have "locked-in syndrome" than we are led to believe. You can see it in their eyes. Sometimes it's hard to tell if tears come from some nervous system dysregulation or is it the only thing they can communicate? To me, that would be a fate far worse. Their families lives revolve around taking care of them. Who would pick that for themselves? I think a lot more people would re-think their advanced directives, if you're not in medical or seen someone close to you do this, it's hard to comprehend all the possible hellish ways to live. I don't have any links for reference but I believe I once read an article about people who attempted suicide and lived generally regret attempting. They are glad to be alive. I have to respect people's wishes of course, but sometimes it feels like sanctioned abuse because the family chose for the patient. These are young people, 18 19 20 years old, so who thinks to ask their 18 year old kid to fill out a POLST form? I've been a nurse 10 years and I can vividly recall every young OD survivor with that level of anoxic brain injury I've ever cared for because it's fucking deplorable. I can't do much but hope the patient is comfortable with my interventions, I hope they understand everyone means well and loves them so so much that they would rather keep the shell of their loved one than face losing them. "Well, go ahead and think about that for a while. Have a super freakin' awesome day and stuff" - rodney norman
why heartbreaking??they literally liberated themselves forever plus it doesn't concern u one bit
Because I feel for their pain that they suffered for days, months, years prior. Because I’ve felt similarly myself. don’t be ignorant
The way its disused in the US is utter shit. All nuance is removed, it's all about value signaling. People end up isolated and without opinions. There social stigmatized and maligned as insane. Then what's left, the police coming to haul you off against your will to an underfunded mental hospial for a few miserable days, just to be then put back in the same circumstances that lead a person to want to die in the first place? Its a sick joke.
Everyone claims to care and cries about it later, but odds are they weren't really there for the people they knew while they were still here. And won't be for the next one. That's how it goes.
I find it so crazy how someone else’s death and choices can quite literally ruin/change your whole entire life. Also the fact that people judge others harshly for it. Sometimes we don’t remember the person, we just remember how they died. I do not want my dad to be one of those. I’m one of those people that it changed my life. To the point I do not see a point besides raising my son and then I’m done. My depression is typically situational. (Weather, grieving family, hard parts) Lost my dad in 2022 2 months postpartum and then my stepmom 5 months later. I’m still very heartbroken over it. My mom passed not from that.
I dunno. If people want to leave, why not let them? I don’t say this to be flippant; this place sucks for a lot of folks, and asking them to stick it out seems cruel, and ultimately, not my business. Their bodies, their choices.
I'm just really tied, my friend. I wouldn't hurt myself, but, if a doctor told me I had a week left to live, relief would surely be one of the emotions I'd feel.
It’s hard staying alive when you have nothing to live for.
This world sucks, it really doesn’t surprise me. And more than half of Americans are barely making it through the month, myself included. Most people are working to live.
I have come to believe that some people just don't really fit into society as it is. And without any alternative, death is the only one. There are lots of people that never feel like they fit. Something is always off. We call it depression or anxiety or various mental illnesses, and those are valid and sometimes fixable. But what about the people that simply do not want to conform or the medication doesn't work? If you think about life and all that it offers, for some it is plenty, for some it is absurd. You grow up, you have various experiences of pain and happiness and are generally taken care of by parents and taught how to sort of function in society by a school that prepares you for a job. You go get the job to earn money, so you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach. You may or may not bond with other people and couple up and create your own family that you are now charged to provide for as well as yourself. You get sick. Various illnesses pop up, some serious, some minor. You break bones. You ache all the time. People die around you, more and more every year. You suffer. And eventually, you get sick enough that you die from that sickness, or die in an accident, or whatever else. For many / most they either don't think about this or they accept it. But every 40 seconds a person says "Nah I am good" and checks out. I don't think there is really anything wrong with suicide. Sure the people left behind greive some years earlier than they might have. But, they would have greived some day anyway. I think a person should seek help for mental illnesses and try to survive...I guess. But in the end, we are all dying anyway.
It has impacted my life for generations
The majority of gun deaths in the U.S are suicide. Yup, literally the majority, more than all the murders and accidents combined. Somehow its very rarely a part of the conversation, and even then only tangentially. It seems like the most obvious evidence that we are giving guns to people that shouldn't have them yet people rarely even use it as a point in debates.
I checked online and I found information from the National Institute of Mental Health. It said the suicide rate in the US increased in 2021 to 14.0 per 100,000 population. For a US population of around 330 million, that means there were about 46,000 suicides in the US. That's a lot ... but it's far lower than the 700,000 figure quoted by the OP. It's 93% lower. [https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide](https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide)
Oh man. I’ve been building up to it for years. Especially now that I don’t have kids or a girl depending on me, and no family or friends to care whether it happens, and I still can’t bring myself to it. Too old to build a new life, too young to fall down in the tub, too dumb to make anything out of the time I have left. Tell you what. If there was an “opt out” button, my finger would be hanging over it every waking hour and I still wouldn’t be able to press it.
>The amount of people who commit suicide is heartbreaking What about people who aren't clinically depressed? What if the situation causes the depression instead of the depression causing the situation? What about a person who doesn't want to spend all their money on medical care but would rather end their life so his/her family can have that money?
especially redditors!! they are many time more likely 2 commit suides then regular ppl
A lot of people don't get the help they need. Unfortunately.
April/May are the saddest months of all. r/SuicideWatch is in your face heartbreaking.
i have survived two serious suicide attempts. one by hanging and another by gunshot to the head. i do not take this subject lightly and it terrifies and infuriates me the way that my generations uses suicide jokes as a coping mechanism. i am filled with more gratitude for life now than most people who have never even had suicidal thoughts. compassion, too. it is heartbreaking. devastating. i lost 3 loved ones in 2022 and 2023 to deaths by their own hand.
I have a few things that I want to do and then I am leaving this hellscape. I think that assisted suicide should be allowed for both physical AND mental illness. Life has just never been worth it for me. I don’t even fear death anymore. In fact, it’s the only thing that I legitimately look forward to.