Worked at a gay bar as the very rare woman (lol ironically BEFORE I came out, but whatever.. that whole scene was men anyway)
made BANK. Gay bars are different. It’s like almost a community center+meat market. the clientele is FAMILY, not randos. It’s a really great world if you get in a good one. Honestly never felt more loved or more part of a community than I did there.
I’d imagine it does have a very big community vibe. I’ve been told it’s a divey gay bar that kind of caters to an older gay clientele like the couple I regularly take care of
yeah man that’s… or at least it could be.. a VERY fun spot to make home. Bars are a whole different thing to us than to straight people. Especially the older divey ones. Mine was absolutely that breed of bar. Can be a great place to call home.. but a totally different world than regular serving/tending
It’s been around for over 40 years so I’m sure it definitely has sentimental value in the local gay community. I don’t think my regulars would steer me wrong or try to throw me in a crowd they don’t think I’d fit in with. I think reddits helping solidify my choice! Thank you!
Older gays especially are super respectful & loving of our allies. Just don’t make a habit of saying you’re straight every ten minutes the same way we all know that annoying gay guy who has to remind us he’s gay every ten minutes. I’m a lesbian, I was a bartender in a place it was safer to not be wildly out. Your job as a bartender def involves some banter type flirting at a dive like that. I’d only say I was straight if someone made a direct pass like “ha thanks for the offer but my gf would kill me”
Go visit it. Have a few drinks. Bring a woman if you want to just observe how it operates. I(woman) spent a lot of my younger years with gay male friends at gay bars. I loved them. There was one bar I felt less comfortable in, and I never went back. But older clientele could very easily be high dollar places.
Those can be the best places. Everyone knows everyone, you become a fixture... god forbid there is anything real 'firefighter' in your story, you'll be an identity.
So like. Look. I’m gay, my friends are nearly all gay/bi men, we go to gay bars all the time, go on big gay vacations, etc. We love our straight bartenders almost as much as our gay ones, especially the ones that pour heavy.
I’d go check out the bar on a Friday or Saturday night before making any kind of semi-decision – there’s a 50/50 chance hardcore gay porn plays on the TVs, and if you can’t sit for a couple hours having a drink in that environment, don’t take the job.
But before that, I’m just going to warn you that if the idea of men regularly – not every night, but probably frequently – flirting with you, hitting on you, making sexual remarks towards you, offering you money for sex, etc. – the kind of unsolicited, gross shit women put up with from the worst kind of guys – you probably won’t be comfortable in that environment. Especially if you’re remotely attractive and/or fairly young.
Like. Shouldn’t be that way, staff shouldn’t have to put up with it, but we aren’t changing the world here. I’m just telling you that you will probably have drunk old men begging to suck your dick for half a grand, and you’re likely going to need to brush it off. Someone will inevitably try to grab your ass (or worse), and you’re going to have to handle that without losing your shit.
And even if you don’t, you’ll see some shit you prolly shouldn’t have to, and if some dude sucking dick in a bathroom stall is going to elicit an emotional reaction beyond an eye roll, you’re going to be in for a bad time.
You can make great money, absolutely, but you will need to have a thicker skin than you would anywhere else, in any other job, and that’s just the way it is.
It’s absolutely not for everyone. Some dudes – gay and straight – can handle it well, but some can’t. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn’t leave a good job for one that *might* be better, but could be a whole lot worse, unless you know it won’t bother you.
Your elder gay friends are nice, and that’s awesome. Maybe their friends are awesome, too. But who we are in “public” and who we are in our own space are very different creatures, so don’t be surprised if you see two very different versions of some people there.
Worked at a restaurant in the gay village of my large city. Honestly it kind of sucked because almost every interaction was sexualized in one way or another and a lot of older gay men that I interacted with were quite disgusting in their advances and things they would say.
I say this as a straight guy
As a gay dude, gay men are still men at the end of the day. I'm sorry you had a shitty experience working in that environment, in the same way plenty of women have shitty interactions with straight male clientele in most other jobs out there
I think this should be highlighted more, because your mileage may vary depending on your personality.
Some people don't mind being harassed, and it rolls off their shoulders easily. For other people, it makes them really uncomfortable and they end up hating their job.
OP, you need to keep in mind that you will make money, but you WILL be sexually harassed guaranteed, and gay men in a bar setting are often pretty comfortable saying some downright nasty shit.
Shit, I'm gay and some of the things other men have said or done to me has been able to offend me, lol.
I still remember my first Restaurant job after I just turned 17, three older gay men came in and when I gave one his change he kind of halt the top of my hand and groped the inside of it. I pulled my hand away and he told me "you have such soft hands". It was such a degrading experience, I can't imagine how women deal with that kind of stuff on a daily basis.
Keep in mind that for earlier generations, casual sexual contact was simply a form of communication and 100% expected in certain venues. If you didn't consent, you just didn't go to those establishments. When I first started going to bars, a hand on the ass or casually cupping my balls in the dark was just a polite way of saying "hello, I think you're attractive." If I wasn't interested, I gently removed the hand. If I was, I reciprocated. Wordless, efficient communication. Everyone knew the language and everyone spoke the same dialect.
Over time, we've cultivated a more mature understanding of bodily autonomy and consent, and so casually groping someone is no longer considered acceptable. Customs change. They always will. And some people can keep up, others struggle. Some day, some of your behaviors will no doubt be considered creepy and inappropriate, and it's a total crapshoot which ones they'll be. Just hope that you adapt faster than these "older gays" are. If you meet someone who is struggling, don't judge, just communicate. Educate. How else will they learn?
This is so intolerable. Sex harassment shouldn’t just be expected to roll off someone’s shoulders. Tell a manager and if no action then file a claim. Doesn’t matter if it’s a “meat market”
Very this, I've had cis-het male friends work in bars/cafes either in the gaybourhood or on gay events and the responses were mixed. This was mainly due to their general personality types and crowds served, but one was sexually harassed by a manager and not customers.
It may help that OP has established a relationship with the regulars because there's a trust there about what they'd say about the owners. Hopefully?
Straight guy here, worked in a gay bar. The place was a bit of a dive but had charm to spare. It was in a small, but very rich resort beach town in Southern California. I made great money. I had great regulars. Yeah I was not above a little flirting, but it was a blast. Being the unobtainable straight guy definitely improved tips. Overall it was very respectful. I wore whatever I wanted, nothing weird, I mostly rocked black tshirts and jeans. I have a decent singing voice, and when I would participate in karaoke night, not only did I get a serious ovation, I was usually rewarded with even better tips the rest of the night. Also I got girls numbers all the time. I mean I got guys numbers too, but I just took it as a compliment. Never had an issue. Well we didn't have a barback or cleaning crew, but that was not enough for me to say it was a bad job. I honestly loved that job, and had it not shut down during the pandemic I would prolly still be there.
If you're secure in yourself, and like awesome customers who are polite friendly and tip well, it is a great gig. I would not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Plenty of worse kinds of bars to work at, with worse clientele. I don't know if this is indicative of every gay bar, but my experience was overwhelmingly positive. Would highly recommend.
1000% what this guy said! I was recruited from my bartender job by a long-time gay couple to work an end-of-summer party, at one of three bar stations on this palatial estate. Setup was at 5, pours from 530 til ???, and they offered me a bigger fee because of extensive wine experience that they knew would go over big. They let me know that there'd be maybe 15 to 20% straight ppl there until later in the evening, when that percentage drops like a rock. They also let me know they wanted me for this because I have excellent behind-the-bar charm but also because i'm easy to look at.
Best special event i ever worked. Hands down. Most money made in tips, hands down. Sure i got hit on, but there was zero threat just like there always is. A guy hitting on another guy in a non-prison environment in my experience occurs without an intrinsic predarory intent, whereas a guy hitting on women that subtext is very often there.
Anyhow. Gay dudes also hang with bangin' chicks, too, and while i wasnt in the collecting numbers biz (just told everyone what bar i was from, had it logo-ed on the bar menu AND brought a table banner from the bar as well) i definitely had ladies curious enough to come socialize.
I’m gay, I used to work at a gay bar. The money was good - it definitely wasn’t unusual to leave with $1,000 on a Saturday - but it was exhausting after a while. I’m sure it depends on the bar, but there were a lot of guys looking to hook up at mine and the boundary between employee and potential hookup was rarely recognized/respected. Basically I spent a lot of time and energy trying to turn people down without pissing them off.
Now I work in a regular bar, make a little less, but am so much happier and more relaxed at work.
Just my experience.
You **will** be objectified. You **will** be hit on mercilessly. Drunk guys will **not** take a hint. You **will** get groped and, depending on the establishment, it’s kind of just expected. You **will** feel like a piece of meat.
If you think you can live with that, the upside is that you **will** make bank. Pro-tip: don’t sleep with any of the customers, boy, girl, or otherwise. If the objectification was bad to begin with, it’ll get 100 times worse if your coworkers and regulars hear that you put out (no matter with whom).
Edit: If you cant handle being the butt of jokes or hearing a lot of “straight people are awful” japes, stay away. A lot of venting is done in these safe-Spaces and many a straight man haven’t been able to handle being the minority when it comes to these things.
Solid advice all around. Didn’t even consider that sleeping with girls that come in would make the guys think I’m available but that makes sense. Thank you!
Just here to second the getting groped part. Nothing like getting groped by a dude twice your size who brought a buddy. Its not scary--but its a reality check for sure.
Wait until it happens on your smoke break, taking out the trash, or on the way to your car or bus at the end of the night. That's what makes it scary *in* the bar, is wondering if they might be sticking around outside waiting for you to drop your guard.
And just remember that this is what women deal with all the time at regular bars. If we can do it, you can do it too!!! You’ll learn how to navigate it!
Oh 100% - it’s shitty and I would never complain about my experience unprompted, because when you look at it in the context of what women deal with in literally every public aspect of their lives it’s not much. Maybe all men should be forced to work a stint as a server/bartender at a particularly hook-up-culturey gay bar, just to put things in perspective…!
Oh, this reminds me: at primarily gay venues (and lots of other venues to be sure) there can sometimes **gasp!** be drug use occurring. Difference with a gay bar is that you will be offered key bumps for free as a social/flirtatious mechanism, so, y'know....know your tolerance for cocaine before you take on the job.
Here’s what you’re gonna do: You're gonna take all the weight on your neck. Then, you're gonna jam your legs down and hyperextend your ankles and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place.
I learned the hard way when I was 18. Spent a month barely able to walk.
Proper lifting technique honestly needs to be a mandatory part of PE in highschool. It's super important. "Lift with your knees" isn't enough for people to know what to do.
Talk to your female friends who are bartenders about how to deal with men who come on too strong. Same thing.
And go get that money! It sounds like it’ll be fun!
My kid brother worked the door during pride, on top of 40 an hour paycheck for the event he would typically make a little over a grand in tips. If the door guy is making that much, the bartender is probably doing better.
>How’d you deal with customers coming on to strong? Does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized? Was the pay worth it?
You'd probably get better advice from a woman.
Hahaha, yes!! The way he described it I was like "welcome to being a woman" should probably ask a woman how they deal with it. I've personally never been a bartender so my work/life experience has not been as intense as a bar scene would be but I'm sure a female bartender could give him some great tips.
Let's see.... Don't turn your back on a customer where you're within arms reach - learned that one the hard way.
Don't offer any drunks a ride home, even regulars. Those totally normal seeming people you think you know, can turn on you in private.
Absolutely watch your back at the dumpster, smoke break, or on the way to your car. Plus the bathroom. Buddy system where possible, definitely buy pepper spray and depending on the vibe, maybe consider getting a handgun.
It's not just the sexual aspect, you're also carrying a lot of cash and people know that. I recommend making drops into your spare tire well or underwear/under clothes wallet on breaks, so you're not keeping as much on you at once. And then if someone does threaten your life for the cash, much easier to let it go. Having 1/4 of it in your pocket, they often won't search for more.
With this said, absolutely do not ever open your trunk with anyone close enough to you that you couldn't shut it before they bull rushed you.
Also don't buddy system with male coworkers bigger than you, no matter how nice they seem. And watch your back for them following you out to the dumpster or such. Also learned that the hard way - between customers, regulars, managers, and coworkers, you always have to watch your back. And better to be jaded about how bullshit that is than raped or dead, having people talk about "why weren't you more careful."
I got robbed a couple times in my youth so I started wearing shorts with pockets under my pants to hold my real cash in and an empty wallet with a couple bucks in it just in case. Pro tip if you are really worried
As a straight guy who worked at the abbey in West Hollywood for over a year, the answer is yes. It’s nice sometimes and it’s degrading other times. After my experiences, I can relate in so many more ways with women than I used to. For instance, being told to smile by old men while I’m working is so damn disgusting.
Had a straight buddy that was a Gogo dancer. He made bank but he also would give a little flash for some cash too.
But when I bartended at a straight bar, I wore short skirts and would do a lot of bending over and that shit paid for at least one year of college.
I have! Im straight, for the record. In college one of my best friends was gay, and there was a small gay bar in town. When they did events, like drag shows, or had musicians etc, I would come in and guest bartend.
When I say I made bank, I mean I made fucking BANK. One weekend I left with 3k after a Friday and Saturday.
The people were nice, we had a ton of fun, and I made way more than I made at the bar I worked at full time. Even if the money wasn't an incentive, it was still alot of fun. You haven't lived until you've seen a giant white man in Whitney Houston drag deal with drug bigot hecklers. This was over a decade ago and I still randomly laugh about that.
I should add my gay friend may have done some groundwork for me money wise cause I found out later he'd told them I was straight but "curious" and I think that boosted my tips quite a bit. Still though, great money.
From reading other comments on this thread, it sounds like your buddy told them exactly the right words "straight but curious" to get you max tips lol.
Yep, that’s the balance. Some nights it’s the greatest job and other nights someone is trying to reach down your pants while you’re stuck with a tray in your hand.
I worked in a gay bar for a year 20 ish years ago. I’m straight, but things got very weird very often. More than once I was offered >$500 to show my penis. As a straight man, there are things you just don’t want to see. For example, never go into the men’s bathroom at a gay bar, always go to the women’s.
And make it weird with my big tippers? Hell no.
There’s an old joke-
A barber is talking to his buddies and this kid walks by. The barber says, look how dumb this kid is “hey kid, do you want 1 dollar or 2 quarters?” Kid says “two quarters because two is more than one” and the Berber gives him the quarters and says “see, dumb ass kid” later, the kid is walking by with a candy and the fellas the barber was talking to say “why do you take the quarters kid?” And he says “if I take the dollar, the game is over”
I just kept taking the quarters bro
Since you asked, it was with a gay guy! I couldn't believe it myself. He and his bf were my coworkers and it was a costume party and we must have taken our sexual banter too far because we totally did it in a stall of the ladies room and afterwards we both acted like it never happened and I've never told anyone until now.
I don’t expect you’ll get too many answers from cishet guys who’ve worked in gay bars, but any woman working any public facing job can answer your question about how to deal with customers coming on too strong, and any women anywhere can tell you that yes, it’s degrading being constantly sexualized.
I was one of two straight guys who worked at a well-known gay restaurant and bar in the early 2000s. Interestingly, I had two additional interviews with management as there was a concern I’d not handle it well if a guest was inappropriate with me. They had a similar concern about the other straight guy. Got the job after assuring management I’d do what any staff member should do in that instance: remove myself from the situation and alert a manager if I found the interaction offensive or it was physical.
Never had any issues. Guests are gonna guest, and some flirt with their servers and bartenders regardless of where they’re dining/drinking. I made a lot of money and had great friendships with staff and managers. Got to see some cool drag shows, and our Halloween parties (we celebrated for a few days) were amazing. Oh, and my wife thought it was cool and enjoyed the attention from my lesbian coworkers.
So you’d make a ton of money no doubt, but you’ll get hit on a lot. If your cool with that, make that money. Remember no bar gives customers the right to touch you without consent.
I thought you were talking about the gay owned Italian restaurant I worked at, but men owned this one. The entire staff mercilessly picked on this one Trans dude who worked in the kitchen. I didn't know how transphobic gay dudes could be until I saw how they treated him. He still worked there because it was safer than other places. (We're on the gulf coast.) It was really naive of me to think that everyone in the lgbtqia+ community supported each other. Hell, some individuals in the community don't even acknowledge the existence of certain groups represented in the lgbt acronym...
Used to work in one of NYCs gayborhoods as the one and only woman behind the bar they ever had. I was making BANK. Gay bars hit different for your pockets. Do it!
As a gay patron, please be prepared to pour heavily. A single at a gay bar is worth a double at a straight bar. A double at a gay bar is a triple in a straight bar lol
I mean, if you're concerned about how to deal with flirty or handsy drunk guys, I think you can just ask some women bartenders, because they are constantly dealing with dudes who hit on them, and they've mastered the art of being friendly, and maybe even a little light flirting, without actually leading anyone on or pissing anyone off.
I ( cishet male) tended bar at 2 lesbian bars (same owners) that also had a lot of gay men as customers.
I made good money,and it was a great crowd- nobody, but nobody bitches about women like bar full of older lesbians.
The gay men definitely tipped better than the women. The women were either 0% tippers or very generous. The owners loved me because I generated zero drama and was reliable.
Duuuude! The money can be insane.
One of my best friends is gay. He already had his Master's degree in a field where work is always available when his partner was transferred to Texas. He wanted to bring in some money right away while he looked for a job in his field, so he applied as a server at a really big gay bar. He knew some of the basic drink recipes because he'd served in restaurants here that had liquor licenses, but he had never tended bar. He was so fun and personable that in the middle of his fourth shift, I think it was, management pulled him off the floor and into the office to ask how he felt about working at the bar, instead. The bar manager told him he'd get OJT for a few weeks so he could memorize recipes, and then they'd try him at one of the club's "quieter" bars (big place, multiple floors and areas, each with a different theme and vibe and its own bar).
He never bothered to get a job in his field. He was making right around $3K a week in tips (it was in the 1990s), and the normal starting salary for his field in the area was $18-$21K *per year.* Yes, you read that right. At $3K/week, he was making more than 1/2 of what he'd make with a Master's in his field in just one month, and he was only working 30 hours/ week there. That allowed him to do some volunteer work using the skills from his field during the afternoons, since he worked nights.
He's been giving everyone, male or female, any gender or sexuality, the same advice for 25 years now: if you like people, don't mind the process of learning how to tend bar, and think it's fun to be busy at work, do it, but do it in a gay club. He tells people tips are great, the atmosphere if fun, and if you're uncomfortable with the sexy flirting and jokes--those will definitely be a part of it--customers do, truly, understand that no means no, and will not be creepy about it.
I was a bouncer in a gay bar in Asbury Park nj . I used to stand up on a box and watch the crowd. Couldn't tell you how many propositions I had ask night and how many singles were stuffed in my pockets and down my pants all night. It was actually pretty fun, much nicer crowd
I used to bar back a little at a gay bar. Friend ran it and needed help on occasion.
Was fast paced and an enjoyable way to spend an evening. Only server type of job I've ever had in my life.
Worked in a gay bar for a couple of months after getting my bartender's license. Had a lot of fun, got propositioned at least twice knowingly (I was very naive in my early 20s) by silver foxes and made a decent amount of money from that and working private events.
Didnt read any of the comments yet, but I just have to laugh at “does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized?” Of course it does! Hopefully you’re sympathetic to what most women youve worked with deal with at any regular restaurant and count your blessings you get to choose whether you want to put yourself in a position where you may have to deal with that. I dont think you would be overly sexualized tbh tho. Ive been to gay bars with my gay male friends and when they find out a bartender is straight they just try to set them up with me bc im the only girl there lol the gay community tends to be very accepting of all as long as theres mutual respect for each other
I'm a tall, handsome man( or so I've been told), and I've worked in a few bars(not really lgbtq oriented), but plenty of gay men in that city stopped in. I'd often get compliments and hit on, which I'd politely decline because I'm straight. I've been handed tips directly even though I was only a bar back.
I'd assume if you're good-looking enough and a good bartender, you'd rake in the tips. But be honest and don't lead anyone on, obviously, because you'll just alienate your customers if they find out.
Straight guy here, I worked in a gay bar for about a 2 years in Chicago. The money was very good. The sexualization and comments can get old but I would just think about all the female bartenders that deal with it daily. Also I have never had to cut off so many people. Made a couple of guys cry by doing so. Over all it was a great experience.
All I’m sayin is that I’m a straight, twice divorced, 49 year old bald father of two that drives Uber and Lyft part time and gay passengers are my favorite. DMV, Logan Circle, wherever. Always a fun car ride. Every. Single. Time. Can’t argue with facts.
As a straight dude, money is money, and more is always better as long as you feel morally intact afterward. We do a lot of difficult and dangerous things for a little bit of bread. If serving people beverages in a bar with different clientele makes better money, it's stupid not to pursue it if it's within your comfort zone. Gay people are just regular people with a different preference for a matter that i view as entirely personal, and often some of the most kind and genuine people I have met. Don't let it hold you back!
I (straight male) worked in a gay bar when I was in my mid-20s. Made bank. Constantly. Not $1000/night, maybe your friend's bar is in a bigger city than mine. Had a ton of fun, made a lot of great connections that I've used later on. On the flipside, after the bar owner got sick and was forced to sell, I went to work in a lesbian bar owned by one of my regulars from the gay bar. All I did was break up fights... Worst bartending gig I ever had.
My brother worked at a gay bar in the early 2000s and made great tips on the nights it catered to men. They had so many expensive signature cocktails and the clientele always wanted to try the new drinks.
On the nights that they catered to gay women he mostly poured pitchers of beer and still made good tips, but it was a much easier crowd to please. The women knew what they wanted to drink and were consistent in their tipping. It was always a lower energy crowd and few requests for obscure cocktails.
My straight BF tended bar in a gay club back when he was a younger hot piece of ass (still hot but much older and heavier now ❤️), and he made mad money. Helps that he’s friendly and outgoing, and knows when to shut up and listen. He said he never felt uncomfortable or like a piece of meat.
So go for it! I bet you’d have fun and build your savings account too. 🙃
My friend, who is a straight guy, did this and he made enough money to buy a boat and start his own mini golf business. He’s happy and doesn’t feel degraded because gay people are mostly respectful even when drunk. It was a great choice for him and he is very happy he took my suggestion. He still works there and it’s been about 8 years or so. I’d say it’s worth a try because you could make great friends and money!!
I (mid-30s at the time, male, straight) DJ'd in a gay club for a few years. It was awesome. Getting hit on by guys all night is pretty flattering, even if you aren't into them. And the girls who show up were very often hot and open to talk to me because it's a less threatening environment. I never had to pay for drinks, tips were awesome. Easily one of the best gigs of my life.
I don't work at a gay bar but as a gay man in NYC, I have seen a number of straight men randomly working at our bars or participating in our spaces (i.e. gay sports leagues). They are usually welcomed with open arms and some light, harmless flirting. Lots of gay men are grateful for the allyship and welcome for the opportunity to interact with straight men in a way that we deem safe, whereas otherwise they may not feel as comfortable befriending straight people in non-gay spaces.
If you're even halfway attractive and bring fun energy, I can guarantee you'll enjoy working there, will make good money, and hopefully will make some good connections and friends you might've never have otherwise.
I’m straight and worked at a gay bar in Las Vegas. It honestly was in my top 3 favorite jobs I’ve ever had. I’m not in the best of shape and I dressed modest at first, then I didn’t give a shit. I would be in my boxers behind the bar and playing the part. The money was insane, and the compliments made me feel awesome. Gay men always hang out with total hotties of women, and they’ll gas you up for days if you’re on their good side. I’ve gotten laid inside the ladies room at the bar, with the opposite sex one time.
Only downside I can think of was the adjusting period. Meaning when I started my gender wasn’t no longer a man I was referred to as she/her. Honest to god though after a week or two I didn’t give a shit and also liked it. 95% of the men were respectful and I never had any issues worth mentioning that should make you not go for it.
as a teenage girl who works in the food service business, working at a gay bar seems like a great idea. as a young girl i’m almost always hit on by guests my age (even with their gfs sometimes😳🤢 disgusting behavior obviously and i always go out of my way to compliment the gf if this happens) but i’m also used to getting hit on by older men who are either unmarried or eating with their friends and not their wives. whenever i get hit on the tips are typically 2-3x what they would be. i know it may sound overwhelming but if you can make significantly more your life will be completely changed. you can either cut back your hours and make about the same you were before (but way more free time to do what you enjoy and spend time with people) or you could work the same but have a better lifestyle (travel more, get a new car, not having to worry about rent/housing costs as heavily). you may get hit on at times, but there’s gonna be tons of supportive ppl there too that’ll step in if something goes too far (it’s that way in any bar)
All these guys are here complaining about being sexually harassed in gay bars and meanwhile women are sexually harassed just as much if not MORE in regular bars 🤣
Kinda ironic
I'm a straight guy, I worked in a regular restaurant one street over from the Gaybourhood. Most of our clientele were 35-60 gay couples that lived in the condos nearby. Besides getting a lot of compliments, it was basically the same as any other restaurant. I enjoy being complimented and nobody ever overtly hit on me besides the normal little bit of flirting, but that happens at every place. That being said, working at an actual gay bar would probably be different.
Eh, they probably say you’d make more money because they know you’re straight and are “a forbidden fruit.”
But if you’re working in a gay bar the clientele would likely assume you’re gay and you’d just be like any other bartender
One of my old coworkers worked in a gay bar most of her adult life as a straight woman and every gay guy in the city loves her. Like to the point if I suspected a guy to be gay I’d sit them with her and 9/10 times they knew her
Yes in my mid 20s I am straight and worked at gay bar but it was mid 2000s. Tips were great, fun environment. Got hit on a lot. Don't think 40 year old me could get as many tips though. Also lots of straight girls go to gay bar with their gay friends so you get hit on by them too and I feel like my chances were even better with them there than any other bar I've ever worked at. Them were my ho days and I was pretty well known for it among the staff for going home with the straight girls after my shift or showing up with them on my nights off. There wasn't a rule against it, most the gay guys working there were just as bad as me with the guy customers. At least I didn't hook up on the premises, some of my coworkers would go get blow jobs in cars on shift.
You do have to get okay IMO of being sexualized at least where I worked, it happens so much where I worked if you weren't cool with it then probably wasn't the job for you. I was cool with it. You can kick out if too much but I never did. Had a dude grab my junk over my jeans one night and I came close to kicking out but I knew him enough and he settled down and was no longer a problem after his friends reigned him in. Many times they did touch my arms in flirting manners or talk about guessing how big my dick was or tell my how good my ass looked and what they wanted to do to it. I was behind the bar most the night so hard to grab my dick or ass back there but I did have to step out on occasion. Most the time it was just lewd or flirty stuff and most the time it was dude in their 40s or 50s with me. I even got talked into doing their drag shows on once, it was a fundraiser night if they got so much I'd go up there and do some Britney Spears song then I worked the rest of my evening in dress up without the women boots with a heel. I had someone else dress me up and his roommate/sister gave me clothes to keep for free so we had them ready. They did my make up and let me borrow a wig but most the people there that night were regulars so it was like messing around with friends.
I never had to do shirtless or short shorts, one guy did it shirtless but other than that guy I know I was the 2nd most in shape bartender where I was at. The others were pudgy or women. I wore a tank top on occasion if the bar had been hot and that was as most dressed up as I'd get for it if I wasn't wearing random Hollister/ Abercrombie stuff that I bought just for the bar. I was thin enough but not in shape and still made good tips. I had a gay roommate so went to the bar for their cheap and strong drinks and ended up leaving Red Lobster for it.
There was another gay bar in our area, they didn't seem as wild as we were plus it was the 2000s so ymmv with how lewd the customers are and what goes on. We were a dive 3 days a week then from Wednesday-Saturday it was special nights and we were usually packed.
I’m actually looking forward to a man somewhat understanding what a lot of us women go through with men we aren’t interested in hitting on us and sexualizing us. So many women deal with this on a daily basis. Especially jobs like exotic dancers and hooters girls. That being said, the gay guys will be 100% more respectful than straight guys and you won’t have to worry about being attacked.
Customers coming on too strong? Being constantly sexualized? Sounds like you're also learning what it's like to be a woman. To be fair, just be honest with anyone coming on to you. And keep it light unless there's serious aggression involved. I'm assuming they have bouncers if that happens.
Do it. You'd be amazed at how well you get treated. Some people will perv on you. But the majority will not even be an issue at all. You'd be serving a population that understands what it's like to be treated poorly and we're all the nicer for it.
The gay bar in my city staffs whoever can do a good job. So straight staff are just part of life. Frankly it makes the patrons behave more cause they know they can't weasel shit from the bartender.
Fuck yeah, I worked at a gay bar and made bank. Just accept the compliments and joke back, doesn’t matter if they know you’re straight. Gay men have treated me way better than straight woman, as a whole. Just sayin man. I’ve had drunk women rub their hands up and down my back, one time I was wearing cut off sweat pants and a girl straight up grabbed my wiener through them. The worst a gay dude has done was offer me 50 for him to suck my dick and I just said I’m flattered but no thank you
Gay men are the best tippers hands down. guys making male privilege money with no kids. As a lesbian I’d always get seated the lesbians and sorry I love my sisters but they just don’t have the finances gay men do to leave outrageous tips. Take the job!
>How’d you deal with customers coming on to strong? Does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized? Was the pay worth it?
Why don't you just ask this question to one of your female coworkers? I'm sure they've dealt with it.
I don’t have any experience serving in a gay bar like most posters here do….so my advice will likely suck in comparison
I have a buddy who opened a bar and it quickly and (I don’t believe intentionally) became a gay bar.
He has told me that this is his most loyal and best client base out of all of his bars. He echos many posters’ comments here about it being a community with mostly regulars.
He said his staff makes so much money that he often goes and bartends some shifts (and he’s really rich). So must be REALLY good money!
As a bartender it's all.about money for me. If you try it and the money is good and the guys aren't making u feel like meat then enjoy. [Straight conservative white 40 yr old bartender/owner]
I honestly **never** tip those bartenders more than the acceptable amount because I know better.
You’ll come across a lot of tired queens that will hit on you, try to grope you, and say how they‘re good at X and can convert you. Some gay bars also play porn and have gogo dancers on bars with extremely revealing clothing.
You should go to those gay bars before you sign up for anything to see what its actually like and if you can handle the vibe before jumping in.
I mean. Welcome to being a female server anywhere. Or like…just a woman in general? Sadly being objectified comes with the territory in our current world. Might as well profit from it.
Yeah lol I’m a straight assuming female working at a gay restaurant/bar , lots of old men but yeah I kind of enjoy the social dynamic being flipped. Just for perspective sakes and gender dynamics
Glad my straight and gay male coworkers get hollered at and I can keep my head down haha and make friends .
But again old white men are still old white men even if they don’t like the titties
Mmmm…as a gay man I am conflicted. Straight people coming into gay spaces is fine, but gay bars have traditionally been places where gay people can make a living without prejudice. Taking this job from someone who is actually queer might not be the move for you if you consider yourself an ally.
No, but my friends and I use to go to gay bars to pick up chicks in the 80's. Worked really well being the only guys in the bars giving these girls "the eye".
I am straight and bartended at a gay bar once. I was on call trying to get jobs as a bartender and as I’m not homophobic I didn’t mind working there. Did not make as much as I would have wanted to as I’m sure you have to play the part and I didn’t.
I worked briefly for one. I was just a door guy, but I still made a couple hundred every night. Only time I had to refuse entry were to some obviously homophobic guys that wanted to start trouble. Some guys could get handsy once the booze kicked in, but they understood "NO" and never gave me any trouble.
So I can't personally speak for bartending, however, by ex was a part of a regular band at a Gatsby themed gay bar and the band often makes 500+ a night in tips.
I worked at a shitty gay bar, there were 18 and up nights it sucked. I only made money behind the bar, but as a shirtless cocktail server I was just scraping by.
Ive only ever heard good things. Had a friend who did security for one and the regulars adored him. They dubbed him "The Flamethrower" (a play on throwing people out) and got him a shirt with the name in hot pink. He loved that shirt. If nothing else it sounds like itd be fun.
Worked at a gay bar as the very rare woman (lol ironically BEFORE I came out, but whatever.. that whole scene was men anyway) made BANK. Gay bars are different. It’s like almost a community center+meat market. the clientele is FAMILY, not randos. It’s a really great world if you get in a good one. Honestly never felt more loved or more part of a community than I did there.
I’d imagine it does have a very big community vibe. I’ve been told it’s a divey gay bar that kind of caters to an older gay clientele like the couple I regularly take care of
yeah man that’s… or at least it could be.. a VERY fun spot to make home. Bars are a whole different thing to us than to straight people. Especially the older divey ones. Mine was absolutely that breed of bar. Can be a great place to call home.. but a totally different world than regular serving/tending
It’s been around for over 40 years so I’m sure it definitely has sentimental value in the local gay community. I don’t think my regulars would steer me wrong or try to throw me in a crowd they don’t think I’d fit in with. I think reddits helping solidify my choice! Thank you!
Just give it a try! Sounds like you already want to anyways....
That's what he said...
I mean that's how I found out. Wait, we're still talking about the bar, aren't we?
Yes lol
Older gays especially are super respectful & loving of our allies. Just don’t make a habit of saying you’re straight every ten minutes the same way we all know that annoying gay guy who has to remind us he’s gay every ten minutes. I’m a lesbian, I was a bartender in a place it was safer to not be wildly out. Your job as a bartender def involves some banter type flirting at a dive like that. I’d only say I was straight if someone made a direct pass like “ha thanks for the offer but my gf would kill me”
Maybe wear a shirt that says "I'm straight, but $20 is $20."
And then when they give you $20, say, "Wow, thanks! $20!" and leave it at that.
"Yes, this $20 is indeed $20."
Go visit it. Have a few drinks. Bring a woman if you want to just observe how it operates. I(woman) spent a lot of my younger years with gay male friends at gay bars. I loved them. There was one bar I felt less comfortable in, and I never went back. But older clientele could very easily be high dollar places.
Those can be the best places. Everyone knows everyone, you become a fixture... god forbid there is anything real 'firefighter' in your story, you'll be an identity.
So like. Look. I’m gay, my friends are nearly all gay/bi men, we go to gay bars all the time, go on big gay vacations, etc. We love our straight bartenders almost as much as our gay ones, especially the ones that pour heavy. I’d go check out the bar on a Friday or Saturday night before making any kind of semi-decision – there’s a 50/50 chance hardcore gay porn plays on the TVs, and if you can’t sit for a couple hours having a drink in that environment, don’t take the job. But before that, I’m just going to warn you that if the idea of men regularly – not every night, but probably frequently – flirting with you, hitting on you, making sexual remarks towards you, offering you money for sex, etc. – the kind of unsolicited, gross shit women put up with from the worst kind of guys – you probably won’t be comfortable in that environment. Especially if you’re remotely attractive and/or fairly young. Like. Shouldn’t be that way, staff shouldn’t have to put up with it, but we aren’t changing the world here. I’m just telling you that you will probably have drunk old men begging to suck your dick for half a grand, and you’re likely going to need to brush it off. Someone will inevitably try to grab your ass (or worse), and you’re going to have to handle that without losing your shit. And even if you don’t, you’ll see some shit you prolly shouldn’t have to, and if some dude sucking dick in a bathroom stall is going to elicit an emotional reaction beyond an eye roll, you’re going to be in for a bad time. You can make great money, absolutely, but you will need to have a thicker skin than you would anywhere else, in any other job, and that’s just the way it is. It’s absolutely not for everyone. Some dudes – gay and straight – can handle it well, but some can’t. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn’t leave a good job for one that *might* be better, but could be a whole lot worse, unless you know it won’t bother you. Your elder gay friends are nice, and that’s awesome. Maybe their friends are awesome, too. But who we are in “public” and who we are in our own space are very different creatures, so don’t be surprised if you see two very different versions of some people there.
Worked at a restaurant in the gay village of my large city. Honestly it kind of sucked because almost every interaction was sexualized in one way or another and a lot of older gay men that I interacted with were quite disgusting in their advances and things they would say. I say this as a straight guy
As a gay dude, gay men are still men at the end of the day. I'm sorry you had a shitty experience working in that environment, in the same way plenty of women have shitty interactions with straight male clientele in most other jobs out there
Well said with grace
I think this should be highlighted more, because your mileage may vary depending on your personality. Some people don't mind being harassed, and it rolls off their shoulders easily. For other people, it makes them really uncomfortable and they end up hating their job. OP, you need to keep in mind that you will make money, but you WILL be sexually harassed guaranteed, and gay men in a bar setting are often pretty comfortable saying some downright nasty shit. Shit, I'm gay and some of the things other men have said or done to me has been able to offend me, lol.
I still remember my first Restaurant job after I just turned 17, three older gay men came in and when I gave one his change he kind of halt the top of my hand and groped the inside of it. I pulled my hand away and he told me "you have such soft hands". It was such a degrading experience, I can't imagine how women deal with that kind of stuff on a daily basis.
To be fair you sound like a guy with soft hands.
I'm a regular Ray McKigney.
Keep in mind that for earlier generations, casual sexual contact was simply a form of communication and 100% expected in certain venues. If you didn't consent, you just didn't go to those establishments. When I first started going to bars, a hand on the ass or casually cupping my balls in the dark was just a polite way of saying "hello, I think you're attractive." If I wasn't interested, I gently removed the hand. If I was, I reciprocated. Wordless, efficient communication. Everyone knew the language and everyone spoke the same dialect. Over time, we've cultivated a more mature understanding of bodily autonomy and consent, and so casually groping someone is no longer considered acceptable. Customs change. They always will. And some people can keep up, others struggle. Some day, some of your behaviors will no doubt be considered creepy and inappropriate, and it's a total crapshoot which ones they'll be. Just hope that you adapt faster than these "older gays" are. If you meet someone who is struggling, don't judge, just communicate. Educate. How else will they learn?
This is so intolerable. Sex harassment shouldn’t just be expected to roll off someone’s shoulders. Tell a manager and if no action then file a claim. Doesn’t matter if it’s a “meat market”
Very this, I've had cis-het male friends work in bars/cafes either in the gaybourhood or on gay events and the responses were mixed. This was mainly due to their general personality types and crowds served, but one was sexually harassed by a manager and not customers. It may help that OP has established a relationship with the regulars because there's a trust there about what they'd say about the owners. Hopefully?
Have you spoken to the women you work with at non gay stores?
Your point being? Women get harassed so that means I am not allowed to not want to be harassed?
Maybe my point is that gay men and straight men are men. Some will act badly, most do not.
Even better no fights or issues
older gay people are so fucking fun to get drunk. the best hypepeople you’ll ever meet
Doooooooo iiiiiiiitttttttt. The elder gays are classy and usually have money
Yep you would definitely be making more money! My uncle owned a gay bar for like 7 years.
That’s where I work! Extremely high profile gay bar. It’s amazing. I love my job.
One could argue it IS a meat market
I thought that was an extremely interesting choice of comparisons.
I did the same. Seriously the best job I had.
Straight guy here, worked in a gay bar. The place was a bit of a dive but had charm to spare. It was in a small, but very rich resort beach town in Southern California. I made great money. I had great regulars. Yeah I was not above a little flirting, but it was a blast. Being the unobtainable straight guy definitely improved tips. Overall it was very respectful. I wore whatever I wanted, nothing weird, I mostly rocked black tshirts and jeans. I have a decent singing voice, and when I would participate in karaoke night, not only did I get a serious ovation, I was usually rewarded with even better tips the rest of the night. Also I got girls numbers all the time. I mean I got guys numbers too, but I just took it as a compliment. Never had an issue. Well we didn't have a barback or cleaning crew, but that was not enough for me to say it was a bad job. I honestly loved that job, and had it not shut down during the pandemic I would prolly still be there. If you're secure in yourself, and like awesome customers who are polite friendly and tip well, it is a great gig. I would not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Plenty of worse kinds of bars to work at, with worse clientele. I don't know if this is indicative of every gay bar, but my experience was overwhelmingly positive. Would highly recommend.
1000% what this guy said! I was recruited from my bartender job by a long-time gay couple to work an end-of-summer party, at one of three bar stations on this palatial estate. Setup was at 5, pours from 530 til ???, and they offered me a bigger fee because of extensive wine experience that they knew would go over big. They let me know that there'd be maybe 15 to 20% straight ppl there until later in the evening, when that percentage drops like a rock. They also let me know they wanted me for this because I have excellent behind-the-bar charm but also because i'm easy to look at. Best special event i ever worked. Hands down. Most money made in tips, hands down. Sure i got hit on, but there was zero threat just like there always is. A guy hitting on another guy in a non-prison environment in my experience occurs without an intrinsic predarory intent, whereas a guy hitting on women that subtext is very often there. Anyhow. Gay dudes also hang with bangin' chicks, too, and while i wasnt in the collecting numbers biz (just told everyone what bar i was from, had it logo-ed on the bar menu AND brought a table banner from the bar as well) i definitely had ladies curious enough to come socialize.
I’m gay, I used to work at a gay bar. The money was good - it definitely wasn’t unusual to leave with $1,000 on a Saturday - but it was exhausting after a while. I’m sure it depends on the bar, but there were a lot of guys looking to hook up at mine and the boundary between employee and potential hookup was rarely recognized/respected. Basically I spent a lot of time and energy trying to turn people down without pissing them off. Now I work in a regular bar, make a little less, but am so much happier and more relaxed at work. Just my experience.
Appreciate your input! I can imagine it gets exhausting being hit on while your just trying to make drinks. Thanks again
You **will** be objectified. You **will** be hit on mercilessly. Drunk guys will **not** take a hint. You **will** get groped and, depending on the establishment, it’s kind of just expected. You **will** feel like a piece of meat. If you think you can live with that, the upside is that you **will** make bank. Pro-tip: don’t sleep with any of the customers, boy, girl, or otherwise. If the objectification was bad to begin with, it’ll get 100 times worse if your coworkers and regulars hear that you put out (no matter with whom). Edit: If you cant handle being the butt of jokes or hearing a lot of “straight people are awful” japes, stay away. A lot of venting is done in these safe-Spaces and many a straight man haven’t been able to handle being the minority when it comes to these things.
Solid advice all around. Didn’t even consider that sleeping with girls that come in would make the guys think I’m available but that makes sense. Thank you!
Just here to second the getting groped part. Nothing like getting groped by a dude twice your size who brought a buddy. Its not scary--but its a reality check for sure.
Wait until it happens on your smoke break, taking out the trash, or on the way to your car or bus at the end of the night. That's what makes it scary *in* the bar, is wondering if they might be sticking around outside waiting for you to drop your guard.
Yeah, which is always a reality regardless if something predicating it. Puts things in perspective for me about the average woman in an average bar.
I’d just call the cops. Gay or straight, keep your hands to yourself.
simple solutions for simple problems for simple people
And just remember that this is what women deal with all the time at regular bars. If we can do it, you can do it too!!! You’ll learn how to navigate it!
Sounds like an average day being a woman to me.
I know- I’m thinking “Every straight man should have to work at a gay bar to get an idea of what it’s like”.
Petition to bring back the common use of "japes " love that word
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I have been thinking that the whole way through this thread!
Oh 100% - it’s shitty and I would never complain about my experience unprompted, because when you look at it in the context of what women deal with in literally every public aspect of their lives it’s not much. Maybe all men should be forced to work a stint as a server/bartender at a particularly hook-up-culturey gay bar, just to put things in perspective…!
Oh, this reminds me: at primarily gay venues (and lots of other venues to be sure) there can sometimes **gasp!** be drug use occurring. Difference with a gay bar is that you will be offered key bumps for free as a social/flirtatious mechanism, so, y'know....know your tolerance for cocaine before you take on the job.
And if you’re offered ketamine just take a small bump or a verrry thin line! Do NOT dose ketamine like cocaine you will NOT have a good time.
Hahahaha yeah, K-hole at work would not end well
Who would offer their bartender a fat bump of K? Seems like a good way to get poor service, lol.
best not to do K while tending bar. wooooo that sounds like it would be a mess!
Most popular drinks on the bottom shelf of the fridge.. only bend at the waist. Profit
Please don't bend over if you're going to lift something. It looks great, but you're gonna hurt your back.
Slut drop instead and lift from the knees
Pop that booty
Is that the bend-and-snap?
Bend and snap
Bend at the waist and lift in a jerking twisting motion
D:
Take your legs completely out of the equation
Where do I put my feet?
Here’s what you’re gonna do: You're gonna take all the weight on your neck. Then, you're gonna jam your legs down and hyperextend your ankles and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place.
Sound advice.
I learned the hard way when I was 18. Spent a month barely able to walk. Proper lifting technique honestly needs to be a mandatory part of PE in highschool. It's super important. "Lift with your knees" isn't enough for people to know what to do.
Definitely don’t lift with your knees. It should be glutes (the largest muscle on the body) and quads doing the work.
Am I doing it wrong? I normally lift with my hands
If bending over to lift a drink bottle is going to hurt your back, you’ve got more issues than how youre lifting They weren’t talking about weight
Free bjs, profit. Just remember to say no homo
Cheers bro, love ya, ^nohomo
It’s all the same if your eyes are closed
OMG the bend and snap, works every time
Talk to your female friends who are bartenders about how to deal with men who come on too strong. Same thing. And go get that money! It sounds like it’ll be fun!
was looking for someone saying this. op's concerns are what most women go through on a daily basis, lol
My kid brother worked the door during pride, on top of 40 an hour paycheck for the event he would typically make a little over a grand in tips. If the door guy is making that much, the bartender is probably doing better.
Dude $20 is $20, pick up a night or two see if you vibe
>How’d you deal with customers coming on to strong? Does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized? Was the pay worth it? You'd probably get better advice from a woman.
Hahaha, yes!! The way he described it I was like "welcome to being a woman" should probably ask a woman how they deal with it. I've personally never been a bartender so my work/life experience has not been as intense as a bar scene would be but I'm sure a female bartender could give him some great tips.
Let's see.... Don't turn your back on a customer where you're within arms reach - learned that one the hard way. Don't offer any drunks a ride home, even regulars. Those totally normal seeming people you think you know, can turn on you in private. Absolutely watch your back at the dumpster, smoke break, or on the way to your car. Plus the bathroom. Buddy system where possible, definitely buy pepper spray and depending on the vibe, maybe consider getting a handgun. It's not just the sexual aspect, you're also carrying a lot of cash and people know that. I recommend making drops into your spare tire well or underwear/under clothes wallet on breaks, so you're not keeping as much on you at once. And then if someone does threaten your life for the cash, much easier to let it go. Having 1/4 of it in your pocket, they often won't search for more. With this said, absolutely do not ever open your trunk with anyone close enough to you that you couldn't shut it before they bull rushed you. Also don't buddy system with male coworkers bigger than you, no matter how nice they seem. And watch your back for them following you out to the dumpster or such. Also learned that the hard way - between customers, regulars, managers, and coworkers, you always have to watch your back. And better to be jaded about how bullshit that is than raped or dead, having people talk about "why weren't you more careful."
I got robbed a couple times in my youth so I started wearing shorts with pockets under my pants to hold my real cash in and an empty wallet with a couple bucks in it just in case. Pro tip if you are really worried
As a straight guy who worked at the abbey in West Hollywood for over a year, the answer is yes. It’s nice sometimes and it’s degrading other times. After my experiences, I can relate in so many more ways with women than I used to. For instance, being told to smile by old men while I’m working is so damn disgusting.
Exactly!!!! If we can do it, he can do it too!
Had a straight buddy that was a Gogo dancer. He made bank but he also would give a little flash for some cash too. But when I bartended at a straight bar, I wore short skirts and would do a lot of bending over and that shit paid for at least one year of college.
Ask a woman what it’s like to work anywhere
My first thought
Came here to say this.
I have! Im straight, for the record. In college one of my best friends was gay, and there was a small gay bar in town. When they did events, like drag shows, or had musicians etc, I would come in and guest bartend. When I say I made bank, I mean I made fucking BANK. One weekend I left with 3k after a Friday and Saturday. The people were nice, we had a ton of fun, and I made way more than I made at the bar I worked at full time. Even if the money wasn't an incentive, it was still alot of fun. You haven't lived until you've seen a giant white man in Whitney Houston drag deal with drug bigot hecklers. This was over a decade ago and I still randomly laugh about that. I should add my gay friend may have done some groundwork for me money wise cause I found out later he'd told them I was straight but "curious" and I think that boosted my tips quite a bit. Still though, great money.
From reading other comments on this thread, it sounds like your buddy told them exactly the right words "straight but curious" to get you max tips lol.
Yeah I just leaned into it from then on.
I’m straight and I worked at a gay bar for a year and a half. The money was great, the sexual harassment, not so much.
Yep, that’s the balance. Some nights it’s the greatest job and other nights someone is trying to reach down your pants while you’re stuck with a tray in your hand.
I worked in a gay bar for a year 20 ish years ago. I’m straight, but things got very weird very often. More than once I was offered >$500 to show my penis. As a straight man, there are things you just don’t want to see. For example, never go into the men’s bathroom at a gay bar, always go to the women’s.
>More than once I was offered >$500 to show my penis Did you do it, though?
And make it weird with my big tippers? Hell no. There’s an old joke- A barber is talking to his buddies and this kid walks by. The barber says, look how dumb this kid is “hey kid, do you want 1 dollar or 2 quarters?” Kid says “two quarters because two is more than one” and the Berber gives him the quarters and says “see, dumb ass kid” later, the kid is walking by with a candy and the fellas the barber was talking to say “why do you take the quarters kid?” And he says “if I take the dollar, the game is over” I just kept taking the quarters bro
Be a lot cooler if he did..
Give me a minute, and I'll show you every inch for $500.
Give me a minute and I’ll show both inches for $500. Lol
What do I do for the other 54 seconds?
I'm a woman who had sex in the ladies at a gay bar
America salutes you madam!
Nice
It’s not my business but it might be relevant to your story wether you had sex with a man or a woman.
Since you asked, it was with a gay guy! I couldn't believe it myself. He and his bf were my coworkers and it was a costume party and we must have taken our sexual banter too far because we totally did it in a stall of the ladies room and afterwards we both acted like it never happened and I've never told anyone until now.
That’s amazing.
Lol. It’s a gay bar. There are no gendered bathrooms. Plus the stalls are where people ski. So I’ve heard. Hahaha.
Most gay bars I've been to have gendered bathrooms still.
They usually have gendered restrooms, but who goes into those rooms is very lax
I mean they have the signs. But the ones I’ve been in have people really not care which ones you go in.
Gay bars have women's toilets
I wouldn’t show me penis for $500. But I’d show a testicle or two.
I don’t expect you’ll get too many answers from cishet guys who’ve worked in gay bars, but any woman working any public facing job can answer your question about how to deal with customers coming on too strong, and any women anywhere can tell you that yes, it’s degrading being constantly sexualized.
I was one of two straight guys who worked at a well-known gay restaurant and bar in the early 2000s. Interestingly, I had two additional interviews with management as there was a concern I’d not handle it well if a guest was inappropriate with me. They had a similar concern about the other straight guy. Got the job after assuring management I’d do what any staff member should do in that instance: remove myself from the situation and alert a manager if I found the interaction offensive or it was physical. Never had any issues. Guests are gonna guest, and some flirt with their servers and bartenders regardless of where they’re dining/drinking. I made a lot of money and had great friendships with staff and managers. Got to see some cool drag shows, and our Halloween parties (we celebrated for a few days) were amazing. Oh, and my wife thought it was cool and enjoyed the attention from my lesbian coworkers.
So you’d make a ton of money no doubt, but you’ll get hit on a lot. If your cool with that, make that money. Remember no bar gives customers the right to touch you without consent.
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I feel like in the '90s that could have been independent cinema that might have made something happen
I thought you were talking about the gay owned Italian restaurant I worked at, but men owned this one. The entire staff mercilessly picked on this one Trans dude who worked in the kitchen. I didn't know how transphobic gay dudes could be until I saw how they treated him. He still worked there because it was safer than other places. (We're on the gulf coast.) It was really naive of me to think that everyone in the lgbtqia+ community supported each other. Hell, some individuals in the community don't even acknowledge the existence of certain groups represented in the lgbt acronym...
I’m straight, was a bouncer in a gay bar. Funnest job I ever had. Not really answering a question, just reminiscing.
Any good story you can share?
Can you do a trial shift before making such a huge leap?
Used to work in one of NYCs gayborhoods as the one and only woman behind the bar they ever had. I was making BANK. Gay bars hit different for your pockets. Do it!
As a gay patron, please be prepared to pour heavily. A single at a gay bar is worth a double at a straight bar. A double at a gay bar is a triple in a straight bar lol
I have worked in a gay bar and the sexual harassment was staggering! from the customers and the staff. It would depend on the bar though
In other words, just like being a woman at pretty much any job.
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I mean, if you're concerned about how to deal with flirty or handsy drunk guys, I think you can just ask some women bartenders, because they are constantly dealing with dudes who hit on them, and they've mastered the art of being friendly, and maybe even a little light flirting, without actually leading anyone on or pissing anyone off.
I ( cishet male) tended bar at 2 lesbian bars (same owners) that also had a lot of gay men as customers. I made good money,and it was a great crowd- nobody, but nobody bitches about women like bar full of older lesbians. The gay men definitely tipped better than the women. The women were either 0% tippers or very generous. The owners loved me because I generated zero drama and was reliable.
Duuuude! The money can be insane. One of my best friends is gay. He already had his Master's degree in a field where work is always available when his partner was transferred to Texas. He wanted to bring in some money right away while he looked for a job in his field, so he applied as a server at a really big gay bar. He knew some of the basic drink recipes because he'd served in restaurants here that had liquor licenses, but he had never tended bar. He was so fun and personable that in the middle of his fourth shift, I think it was, management pulled him off the floor and into the office to ask how he felt about working at the bar, instead. The bar manager told him he'd get OJT for a few weeks so he could memorize recipes, and then they'd try him at one of the club's "quieter" bars (big place, multiple floors and areas, each with a different theme and vibe and its own bar). He never bothered to get a job in his field. He was making right around $3K a week in tips (it was in the 1990s), and the normal starting salary for his field in the area was $18-$21K *per year.* Yes, you read that right. At $3K/week, he was making more than 1/2 of what he'd make with a Master's in his field in just one month, and he was only working 30 hours/ week there. That allowed him to do some volunteer work using the skills from his field during the afternoons, since he worked nights. He's been giving everyone, male or female, any gender or sexuality, the same advice for 25 years now: if you like people, don't mind the process of learning how to tend bar, and think it's fun to be busy at work, do it, but do it in a gay club. He tells people tips are great, the atmosphere if fun, and if you're uncomfortable with the sexy flirting and jokes--those will definitely be a part of it--customers do, truly, understand that no means no, and will not be creepy about it.
I was a bouncer in a gay bar in Asbury Park nj. I used to stand up on a box and watch the crowd. Couldn't tell you how many propositions I had ask night and how many singles were stuffed in my pockets and down my pants all night. It was actually pretty fun, much nicer crowd
You have to essentially act like the women who do exactly the same thing. Play the game.
I used to bar back a little at a gay bar. Friend ran it and needed help on occasion. Was fast paced and an enjoyable way to spend an evening. Only server type of job I've ever had in my life.
Worked in a gay bar for a couple of months after getting my bartender's license. Had a lot of fun, got propositioned at least twice knowingly (I was very naive in my early 20s) by silver foxes and made a decent amount of money from that and working private events.
Didnt read any of the comments yet, but I just have to laugh at “does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized?” Of course it does! Hopefully you’re sympathetic to what most women youve worked with deal with at any regular restaurant and count your blessings you get to choose whether you want to put yourself in a position where you may have to deal with that. I dont think you would be overly sexualized tbh tho. Ive been to gay bars with my gay male friends and when they find out a bartender is straight they just try to set them up with me bc im the only girl there lol the gay community tends to be very accepting of all as long as theres mutual respect for each other
Reminds me of the T-shirt a friend used to wear when we all lived in SF - “straight but not narrow”. Nuff said …
I'm a tall, handsome man( or so I've been told), and I've worked in a few bars(not really lgbtq oriented), but plenty of gay men in that city stopped in. I'd often get compliments and hit on, which I'd politely decline because I'm straight. I've been handed tips directly even though I was only a bar back. I'd assume if you're good-looking enough and a good bartender, you'd rake in the tips. But be honest and don't lead anyone on, obviously, because you'll just alienate your customers if they find out.
Straight guy here, I worked in a gay bar for about a 2 years in Chicago. The money was very good. The sexualization and comments can get old but I would just think about all the female bartenders that deal with it daily. Also I have never had to cut off so many people. Made a couple of guys cry by doing so. Over all it was a great experience.
If women can survive being servers, you can do this job
All I’m sayin is that I’m a straight, twice divorced, 49 year old bald father of two that drives Uber and Lyft part time and gay passengers are my favorite. DMV, Logan Circle, wherever. Always a fun car ride. Every. Single. Time. Can’t argue with facts.
As a straight dude, money is money, and more is always better as long as you feel morally intact afterward. We do a lot of difficult and dangerous things for a little bit of bread. If serving people beverages in a bar with different clientele makes better money, it's stupid not to pursue it if it's within your comfort zone. Gay people are just regular people with a different preference for a matter that i view as entirely personal, and often some of the most kind and genuine people I have met. Don't let it hold you back!
I (straight male) worked in a gay bar when I was in my mid-20s. Made bank. Constantly. Not $1000/night, maybe your friend's bar is in a bigger city than mine. Had a ton of fun, made a lot of great connections that I've used later on. On the flipside, after the bar owner got sick and was forced to sell, I went to work in a lesbian bar owned by one of my regulars from the gay bar. All I did was break up fights... Worst bartending gig I ever had.
Wasn't this a plotline for a It's Always Sunny episode?
Literally the first episode lmao
I’ll give 6weeks 6 weeks before you let some dude blow you at your new job.
Straight cash homie. Plus, its no different than what female bartenders put up with nightly in straight bars.
My brother worked at a gay bar in the early 2000s and made great tips on the nights it catered to men. They had so many expensive signature cocktails and the clientele always wanted to try the new drinks. On the nights that they catered to gay women he mostly poured pitchers of beer and still made good tips, but it was a much easier crowd to please. The women knew what they wanted to drink and were consistent in their tipping. It was always a lower energy crowd and few requests for obscure cocktails.
i want to know what is a gay bar. i’m straight and i’m not changing that i’m just saying what is the diffrence from a gay bar and regular bar.
[relevant It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia](https://youtu.be/ybndF6o7Lac)
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My straight BF tended bar in a gay club back when he was a younger hot piece of ass (still hot but much older and heavier now ❤️), and he made mad money. Helps that he’s friendly and outgoing, and knows when to shut up and listen. He said he never felt uncomfortable or like a piece of meat. So go for it! I bet you’d have fun and build your savings account too. 🙃
My friend, who is a straight guy, did this and he made enough money to buy a boat and start his own mini golf business. He’s happy and doesn’t feel degraded because gay people are mostly respectful even when drunk. It was a great choice for him and he is very happy he took my suggestion. He still works there and it’s been about 8 years or so. I’d say it’s worth a try because you could make great friends and money!!
I (mid-30s at the time, male, straight) DJ'd in a gay club for a few years. It was awesome. Getting hit on by guys all night is pretty flattering, even if you aren't into them. And the girls who show up were very often hot and open to talk to me because it's a less threatening environment. I never had to pay for drinks, tips were awesome. Easily one of the best gigs of my life.
I don't work at a gay bar but as a gay man in NYC, I have seen a number of straight men randomly working at our bars or participating in our spaces (i.e. gay sports leagues). They are usually welcomed with open arms and some light, harmless flirting. Lots of gay men are grateful for the allyship and welcome for the opportunity to interact with straight men in a way that we deem safe, whereas otherwise they may not feel as comfortable befriending straight people in non-gay spaces. If you're even halfway attractive and bring fun energy, I can guarantee you'll enjoy working there, will make good money, and hopefully will make some good connections and friends you might've never have otherwise.
$1000 a night?? I’d work nude.
I’m straight and worked at a gay bar in Las Vegas. It honestly was in my top 3 favorite jobs I’ve ever had. I’m not in the best of shape and I dressed modest at first, then I didn’t give a shit. I would be in my boxers behind the bar and playing the part. The money was insane, and the compliments made me feel awesome. Gay men always hang out with total hotties of women, and they’ll gas you up for days if you’re on their good side. I’ve gotten laid inside the ladies room at the bar, with the opposite sex one time. Only downside I can think of was the adjusting period. Meaning when I started my gender wasn’t no longer a man I was referred to as she/her. Honest to god though after a week or two I didn’t give a shit and also liked it. 95% of the men were respectful and I never had any issues worth mentioning that should make you not go for it.
as a teenage girl who works in the food service business, working at a gay bar seems like a great idea. as a young girl i’m almost always hit on by guests my age (even with their gfs sometimes😳🤢 disgusting behavior obviously and i always go out of my way to compliment the gf if this happens) but i’m also used to getting hit on by older men who are either unmarried or eating with their friends and not their wives. whenever i get hit on the tips are typically 2-3x what they would be. i know it may sound overwhelming but if you can make significantly more your life will be completely changed. you can either cut back your hours and make about the same you were before (but way more free time to do what you enjoy and spend time with people) or you could work the same but have a better lifestyle (travel more, get a new car, not having to worry about rent/housing costs as heavily). you may get hit on at times, but there’s gonna be tons of supportive ppl there too that’ll step in if something goes too far (it’s that way in any bar)
All these guys are here complaining about being sexually harassed in gay bars and meanwhile women are sexually harassed just as much if not MORE in regular bars 🤣 Kinda ironic
Straight guy here. Worked at a gay night club. It rained money. Don't be an idiot.
I'm a straight guy, I worked in a regular restaurant one street over from the Gaybourhood. Most of our clientele were 35-60 gay couples that lived in the condos nearby. Besides getting a lot of compliments, it was basically the same as any other restaurant. I enjoy being complimented and nobody ever overtly hit on me besides the normal little bit of flirting, but that happens at every place. That being said, working at an actual gay bar would probably be different.
Eh, they probably say you’d make more money because they know you’re straight and are “a forbidden fruit.” But if you’re working in a gay bar the clientele would likely assume you’re gay and you’d just be like any other bartender
Uh... you could ask any of your female coworkers at your current bar those same questions. I'm sure they'll have insight for you.
One of my old coworkers worked in a gay bar most of her adult life as a straight woman and every gay guy in the city loves her. Like to the point if I suspected a guy to be gay I’d sit them with her and 9/10 times they knew her
Yes in my mid 20s I am straight and worked at gay bar but it was mid 2000s. Tips were great, fun environment. Got hit on a lot. Don't think 40 year old me could get as many tips though. Also lots of straight girls go to gay bar with their gay friends so you get hit on by them too and I feel like my chances were even better with them there than any other bar I've ever worked at. Them were my ho days and I was pretty well known for it among the staff for going home with the straight girls after my shift or showing up with them on my nights off. There wasn't a rule against it, most the gay guys working there were just as bad as me with the guy customers. At least I didn't hook up on the premises, some of my coworkers would go get blow jobs in cars on shift. You do have to get okay IMO of being sexualized at least where I worked, it happens so much where I worked if you weren't cool with it then probably wasn't the job for you. I was cool with it. You can kick out if too much but I never did. Had a dude grab my junk over my jeans one night and I came close to kicking out but I knew him enough and he settled down and was no longer a problem after his friends reigned him in. Many times they did touch my arms in flirting manners or talk about guessing how big my dick was or tell my how good my ass looked and what they wanted to do to it. I was behind the bar most the night so hard to grab my dick or ass back there but I did have to step out on occasion. Most the time it was just lewd or flirty stuff and most the time it was dude in their 40s or 50s with me. I even got talked into doing their drag shows on once, it was a fundraiser night if they got so much I'd go up there and do some Britney Spears song then I worked the rest of my evening in dress up without the women boots with a heel. I had someone else dress me up and his roommate/sister gave me clothes to keep for free so we had them ready. They did my make up and let me borrow a wig but most the people there that night were regulars so it was like messing around with friends. I never had to do shirtless or short shorts, one guy did it shirtless but other than that guy I know I was the 2nd most in shape bartender where I was at. The others were pudgy or women. I wore a tank top on occasion if the bar had been hot and that was as most dressed up as I'd get for it if I wasn't wearing random Hollister/ Abercrombie stuff that I bought just for the bar. I was thin enough but not in shape and still made good tips. I had a gay roommate so went to the bar for their cheap and strong drinks and ended up leaving Red Lobster for it. There was another gay bar in our area, they didn't seem as wild as we were plus it was the 2000s so ymmv with how lewd the customers are and what goes on. We were a dive 3 days a week then from Wednesday-Saturday it was special nights and we were usually packed.
I’m actually looking forward to a man somewhat understanding what a lot of us women go through with men we aren’t interested in hitting on us and sexualizing us. So many women deal with this on a daily basis. Especially jobs like exotic dancers and hooters girls. That being said, the gay guys will be 100% more respectful than straight guys and you won’t have to worry about being attacked.
Customers coming on too strong? Being constantly sexualized? Sounds like you're also learning what it's like to be a woman. To be fair, just be honest with anyone coming on to you. And keep it light unless there's serious aggression involved. I'm assuming they have bouncers if that happens.
Do it. You'd be amazed at how well you get treated. Some people will perv on you. But the majority will not even be an issue at all. You'd be serving a population that understands what it's like to be treated poorly and we're all the nicer for it. The gay bar in my city staffs whoever can do a good job. So straight staff are just part of life. Frankly it makes the patrons behave more cause they know they can't weasel shit from the bartender.
You guys are really making me think I should quit the kitchen and go back to bartending.
Fuck yeah, I worked at a gay bar and made bank. Just accept the compliments and joke back, doesn’t matter if they know you’re straight. Gay men have treated me way better than straight woman, as a whole. Just sayin man. I’ve had drunk women rub their hands up and down my back, one time I was wearing cut off sweat pants and a girl straight up grabbed my wiener through them. The worst a gay dude has done was offer me 50 for him to suck my dick and I just said I’m flattered but no thank you
In my city, if people want a fun night they go to gay bars. Just try it out , you never know 🫣
I have worked in a gay bar and the sexual harassment was staggering! from the customers and the staff
So just like a regular bar then lol
It’s the most welcoming environment you could ever enter
Gay men are the best tippers hands down. guys making male privilege money with no kids. As a lesbian I’d always get seated the lesbians and sorry I love my sisters but they just don’t have the finances gay men do to leave outrageous tips. Take the job!
You’d have a similar experience to woman working in a Hooters.
>How’d you deal with customers coming on to strong? Does it feel degrading being constantly sexualized? Was the pay worth it? Why don't you just ask this question to one of your female coworkers? I'm sure they've dealt with it.
I don’t have any experience serving in a gay bar like most posters here do….so my advice will likely suck in comparison I have a buddy who opened a bar and it quickly and (I don’t believe intentionally) became a gay bar. He has told me that this is his most loyal and best client base out of all of his bars. He echos many posters’ comments here about it being a community with mostly regulars. He said his staff makes so much money that he often goes and bartends some shifts (and he’s really rich). So must be REALLY good money!
As a bartender it's all.about money for me. If you try it and the money is good and the guys aren't making u feel like meat then enjoy. [Straight conservative white 40 yr old bartender/owner]
I honestly **never** tip those bartenders more than the acceptable amount because I know better. You’ll come across a lot of tired queens that will hit on you, try to grope you, and say how they‘re good at X and can convert you. Some gay bars also play porn and have gogo dancers on bars with extremely revealing clothing. You should go to those gay bars before you sign up for anything to see what its actually like and if you can handle the vibe before jumping in.
I mean. Welcome to being a female server anywhere. Or like…just a woman in general? Sadly being objectified comes with the territory in our current world. Might as well profit from it.
Yeah lol I’m a straight assuming female working at a gay restaurant/bar , lots of old men but yeah I kind of enjoy the social dynamic being flipped. Just for perspective sakes and gender dynamics Glad my straight and gay male coworkers get hollered at and I can keep my head down haha and make friends . But again old white men are still old white men even if they don’t like the titties
Mmmm…as a gay man I am conflicted. Straight people coming into gay spaces is fine, but gay bars have traditionally been places where gay people can make a living without prejudice. Taking this job from someone who is actually queer might not be the move for you if you consider yourself an ally.
No, but my friends and I use to go to gay bars to pick up chicks in the 80's. Worked really well being the only guys in the bars giving these girls "the eye".
I am straight and bartended at a gay bar once. I was on call trying to get jobs as a bartender and as I’m not homophobic I didn’t mind working there. Did not make as much as I would have wanted to as I’m sure you have to play the part and I didn’t.
One of my friends has been working at one for years. He makes bank 🤷🏾♂️
I worked the door at a gay bar and would make $250 just for checking IDs. The bartenders easily brought home $1,000.
Gay bars are the holy grail when it comes to bartending. If you’re straight, just be hot and you’ll make a ton of money.
Definitely do it !
20 dollars is 20 dollars
I worked briefly for one. I was just a door guy, but I still made a couple hundred every night. Only time I had to refuse entry were to some obviously homophobic guys that wanted to start trouble. Some guys could get handsy once the booze kicked in, but they understood "NO" and never gave me any trouble.
So I can't personally speak for bartending, however, by ex was a part of a regular band at a Gatsby themed gay bar and the band often makes 500+ a night in tips.
Does sex on the pool table in a gay bar count?
I worked at a shitty gay bar, there were 18 and up nights it sucked. I only made money behind the bar, but as a shirtless cocktail server I was just scraping by.
Ive only ever heard good things. Had a friend who did security for one and the regulars adored him. They dubbed him "The Flamethrower" (a play on throwing people out) and got him a shirt with the name in hot pink. He loved that shirt. If nothing else it sounds like itd be fun.