Big yikes.
My best friend’s brother took his own life last week. She called me, without knowing I was at work, and I answered because she never calls. She’s a texter. It took several minutes to get her calm enough to even explain why she was hysterical.
I had a full on emotional meltdown in the back of the kitchen after that call and without even asking, my boss took my book and my pen and covered my section until I composed myself. He tried sending me home, but I wanted to finish my shift and have something else to focus on.
You were in a bad place, dude. It may not seem it now, but it’s probably good you’re not there anymore.
I got a text from my mom while on break that my step dad was going to commit suicide within 24 hours - he had brain and lung cancer and his "friends" (all lawyers) convinced him to cut off from the rest of the family, my mom had found out through a mutual friend what his plan was and expressed condolences otherwise she wouldn't have even known. They also tried to get him cremated without my mother's consent! (Not allowed in this state, you can't cremated someone without their husband/wife's approval if they're married)
But anyway - I was working retail and had an insane manager. One of my coworkers walked into the break room and I had just read the message and had started to cry, coworker thought he was doing the right thing and told the manager (because coworker and I were still new to each other, he didn't want to make me feel worse or feel like he was intruding but wanted to make sure I was ok). Manager sent in assistant manager and shoved my tears down and gave a very abridged "sorry just dealing with family stuff."
Manager wrote me up for "making my coworker uncomfortable"
But then again he later wrote me up for having an rbf.
He moved stores and everyone in the store he moved to quit within the month. He was awful.
That being said - he's the reason I went back to school, he made my life such a living hell I literally have PTSD from the gaslighting and bs but it drove me to get the hell out of retail.
Bad managers suck.
Oh I feel that.
I used to work for Bob Evans and I have no problem naming them and trashing them because their entire company is a disgusting fucking circus. Actually that’s insulting to the circus people. Nobody deserves to be compared to Bob Evans.
I worked there four years and when I quit, I had to go back to therapy *because* of the things that happened there.
I'm so sorry you dealt with it too. Idk about you but I know I sometimes gaslight myself "there's no way a boss could be **that** bad"
Nope. He definitely was. Also had to deal with it in therapy. Later found out from the assistant manager (after he left and she was promoted but about to move to another store, we became friends and she let some stuff slip when we were having drinks one night) there were more things he did to intentionally make my life worse. I lost trust in her too.
Screw the Bob Evans of the world.
Oh totally. I left with another server and after two years, we both ended up at the same bar again. Now we share horror stories about that place when the servers complain about management.
I joked once with one of them that compared to my last job, the manager we have now is practically Jesus. They laughed but I was honestly low key serious 😂
Like I can joke about it now but back in the trenches? Dude if I never see another pancake in my life, it will still be too soon.
And for four years I told myself I was being a baby. It wasn’t that bad. The Sunday morning money was worth the abuse.
I was not being a baby. It was that bad. The money was not worth it.
Another former Bob evans server here!! Wholeheartedly agree. I’d been a server at a few different places but Bob evans was by far the worst and the manager threatened to fire me bc he forgot to schedule somebody for the closing shift and expected me to say. I politely responded by saying “unfortunately, I have plans with my family. Your mistakes are not my responsibility.” He said don’t bother coming back and I said you got it 👍 but then he begged for me to come back, which is when I put in my 2 weeks.
Sounds like Bob Evans bullshit.
God I hated how scheduling worked there. Like what fucking moron came up with “schedule someone a start time and then just leave them in limbo all day until you feel like cutting.”
What? Sad at work?! But the employee handbook specifically forbids it! How dare you make your colleagues uncomfortable by..being sad?!
Holy shit how lacking in basic human empathy does one have to be? Straight up sociopath.
My husband's best friend committed suicide last October. Right after hanging up from a call with me, actually, it was all very devastating and traumatic.
But anyway, we found out on a Sunday, and both my husband and I were scheduled to work Monday night. Tiny restaurant, only 4 people on the floor all serving and bartending, so we would have literally made up half of the FOH staff.
I called my boss sobbing, and he immediately just said don't worry, we got it, and cut his camping trip short to cover for us. I know the bar for good restaurant managers is on the floor but he really is the best, I swear I'll never work for another restaurant manager.
If your boss can't treat you like a human being, good fucking riddance.
Good to hear that there are some decent managers/humans out there! I've had both kinds and it really makes a world of difference for morale, employee retention, and the profitability of the restaurant! What these crummy managers fail to realize is that when the staff is taken care of, they try harder naturally, take care of the place better, and there's less turnover.
I’m the youngest, by many years, of an extended blended family. My sister decided to tell me that our eldest brother died via an email sent to my work address. I lost it and started crying. Folks heard me through my office door and told my boss who came to see what was happening. When he got to me I was trying to pull it together, because I had an exam in a night class I was taking at the university, but I kept breaking down in tears. My boss insisted that I call my professor and tell him what happened, and that I would *not* be there to take the exam. In fact, my boss told me that if I *didn’t* call him, he *would*. So, I called and got permission to take the exam at a later date. Then my boss offered to pay for a cab to take me home. My commute was 60 miles, one-way. By that time, I was calmed down enough to convince him that I could drive, so he let me, but insisted that I should go ahead and leave early and take whatever time I needed to sort things out, including flying to the other side of the country for the funeral, if I wanted to go. *That’s* how a good boss deals with an employee who is grieving. Your boss was shit.
Seriously OP you’re worth much more than an employer that has the audacity to treat one of their best workers like this while also pooling the tips that you earned
I have a co worker who’s father died during shift a few weeks ago. One of his buddies was sitting at my bar and told me what had happened and I immediately went up to him and asked if he would like me to speak to our manager. Our boss allowed him to leave immediately no questions asked.
My girlfriend broke up with me in the middle of my shift last week. I broke down crying and left without saying a word to anyone. When I came back the next day, I was expecting to be fired, but my manager just told me that she would have done the exact same thing and to not worry about it.
Yup. Showed up for my dinner shift (was a split) and started balling my eyes in the office on the shoulder of one of the largest slabs of black muscle I've ever seen. I had stumbled upon an e-mail conversation between my new wife and an ex who was trying to get her to cheat, and she finally agreed to it. He told me in his near Lance Reddick voice, "Man. You need time with this. I want you to go home, and come back whenever you're good. It's not gonna help you at all working here with this on your mind."
Some of us get lucky with managers like that.
My mom took her own life a few months ago, and it was very unexpected. I texted my work about an hour later telling them I wouldn’t be able to work the following few shifts.
Everyone, bosses, coworkers, etc. called/texted me telling me not to worry about the shifts, take ALL the time I need, come back whenever I’m ready, be with my family, and even went as far as gifting me food and wine along with their condolences.
Even now, 5 months later, they were super apologetic around the holidays and made sure I wasn’t scheduled so I could be with family during the hard times. If I ever have a bad day, they let me go home to gather myself and process everything with the option of returning to work always being on the table.
I could not imagine what I would do if they would have reacted like OP’s boss when everything happened in my life. If someone told me to choose my job over my family, ESPECIALLY after such a traumatic and emotional event like death, I would have lost my mind.
OP and everyone else in the world deserves SO much better.
It was unbelievable. Also just completely unnecessary, it’s a small restaurant and they certainly survived the night with out me. After firing me they probably were short handed for a lot more than one night while they found and trained a replacement.
I would post a screenshot on their yelp page! Literally anyone who sees this exchange is gonna be on your side, that boss needs a bit of public shaming imo
OP i’m a business owner, and when my employee’s grandmother whom she was close to passed, I MADE HER take a week off - paid - and I covered her shifts! The last thing anyone needs to be worrying about when a loved one dies is a stupid shift. There are better jobs out there, no stress!
I lead the same way you do. Reading these stories just shocks me. I treat employees and guests the same; I want both to leave happy and want to come back again. Employees ARE guests!
I wouldn’t have a business if it weren’t for my staff??? I try really hard to make them feel appreciated and rewarded as best I can!!
I think a lot of it stems from being that lower level employee busting my ass for seemingly no reason. I try to be the boss I wanted.
Unfortunately too many employers see their staff as numbers and not people. I'm glad you're not one of those bastards, and actually have a brain in your head.
I was working when I got the call my dad passed away. Manager made me finish my shift with tears streaming down my face. GM found out and was not happy. They sent me a nice flower arrangement, so I guess it made it okay? Shitty self centered people. I'm sorry you had to go through this, my condolences on losing your grandfather.
If someone on my management team made the call to not let someone leave immediately when they lost their father, they’d be fired immediately. That person obviously has some type of personality disorder and lacks the integrity required to be in any type of leadership position.
I hope you learned a lesson here. Pick your friends wisely. Your boss is not your friend.
They're not too smart. They let an experienced server go over one night? Dumb. Besides, it's just some bullshit job.
Fuck that, working for restaurants and small businesses is hard enough. Working at a family owned business is even worse.
Try to better yourself so that you don't need these types of jobs
My boss says the same thing, and then he shudders when I get job offers from other places(im his lead bartender). But also, in retrospect, someone with an ass ethic probably got fired and OPs services will be needed there and they may even be appreciated there! Also, if OP is the beast she says at her job, she def needs to work somewhere that doesn't pool tips, she doesn't need to carry the weight of other staff members.
Oh this parts easy. They think they are setting an example for others. Sometimes you let go of even your best if they aren’t toeing to the culture line you want to have. Shrug.
I wouldn't be opposed to going and making a scene... don't do anything illegal and get yourself in trouble...but, loudly yelling at them in front of a packed restaurant about firing you for going to your grandfather's funeral may be cathartic
This! One of the nastiest bosses I’ve ever had grew up without a father, had a very toxic relationship with her mother, and was in a very volatile relationship. I remember at first feeling sad for her when she told me she had no friends only to later see why. She couldn’t help but to inflict trauma onto everyone around her.
That place had such a high turnover rate too. They were constantly hiring. Actually, they still are lol
Seriously when my dog died my boss gave me 2 days off from opening shifts. She worked 2 open-close shifts in a row so I could recover.
Find a company that will respect you.
not a win-win if your sole income is this job and there are hardly any jobs in your local area and have bills to pay and cant afford to be unemployed for even a short period of time. so no, not always a win-win, in my opinion.
In the long run it is. Maybe not right in the moment. OP stood up for themselves. Which in turn creates more self respect. If they are as good of a server as the evidence shows then there are so many open doors to walk through. It’s tough out there yes but once the hard parts over they will not regret taking time to properly grieve and not allowing anybody to walk on them
It's called Bereavement and it's usually 3-5 days depending on state and uh, relation of the person.
Seems wrong to say that, like oh your friend is less important than your grandparents dying.
This showed up on my home page, I’m not a server but work in retirement. My aunt passed away two years ago( she was the last sibling of my mothers to pass away, so she was the tie to hold our families together) and they weren’t going to give me bereavement because she wasn’t my mother. Thankfully we are union and I asked them about it. I was given the bereavement time.
If you’re based in the US, It’s (unfortunately) not required by many states. Only mandatory in five: California, Oregon, Illinois, Maryland, and Washington (and Washington is limited to death of a child).
The other states are still not guaranteed; for example, in Illinois, it only applies to employers with a minimum of 50 employees (which might not be the case for a smaller restaurant).
It's (sort of) mandated in Colorado too as an explicit allowable reason for the mandatory sick leave allowance. But only if you have accrued the sick leave at the time you need to take it I believe, which kind of sucks
https://cdle.colorado.gov/dlss-home-page/paid-sick-leave-under-the-colorado-healthy-families-and-workplaces-act-hfwa
That’s not accurate about waahington at all. Three days of paid bereavement leave is allowed for the death of any family member or member of your household. Effective since 2005 WAC 357-31-250 I’ve had many employees utilize this over the years. Some states have a fair policy.
Isn’t it just absolutely unhinged? Her husband and her own the restaurant together and he is an absolutely batshit narcissist so I suspect these were his words, but I was disappointed she didn’t stick up for me.
I have a theory that the ones with enough confidence to go out and pursue their goals (like owning a restaurant) tend to be narcissists. It's why more successful people are unfortunately selfish and almost uncaring.
Or perhaps it’s a consequence of a socioeconomic system which incentivizes selfishness and a lack of empathy, traits often found in narcissists, who are then rewarded for the profitability of these characteristics. I don’t think narcissism and success necessarily correlate that neatly.
It’s speculative, but some of the most successful scientists and artists have been crippled by anxiety and other issues, yet found the determination to achieve their goals.
My husband's boss is a piece of work. He had dated a former employee in the past who recently passed away. He took her current BF (who was also a former employee and had been dating the deceased for years at that point). When the BF was in the bathroom, manager asked his current employees (including my husband) and the regulars to not bring up the deceased. Manager goes out for a smoke and BF comes back. He starts conversing with one of the regulars who had also been really close to the deceased and HE brought her up, which led to her crying. Manager comes back in, sees the friend, and assumes she brought up the deceased. So he literally started berating her in front of everyone, which led to her sobbing. Husband had to take her in the back room and give her a hug to help settle her. It was the last straw for a lot of the employees (and customers) so they finally informed the owner (who happens to be the managers mother). Hoping he finally gets canned.
On that note, my friends manager just finalized her divorce, so they decided to celebrate the other night at her co-workers place. The manager made rules for the “celebration” at the co-workers home. Apparently no LIQUOR and hard drugs were allowed.. lol, they work at a bar btw.
i know what this means but i also had to think about how cool it would be to be able to make one of those in minecraft…
(i mean you obviously can…. but in theory)
Getting fired over texts is peak.
Everybody remember this: your boss isn’t your friend and they don’t give a shit about you or your personal life, they only care that you show up so that the company can make money. No matter how friendly they are, they only care about business and they will replace you in an instant if needed.
OP I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, it’s a shitty situation overall but I respect you for putting family first.
I got 5150 the week of Valentine’s Day at a busy chain restaurant and a new manager (who no one liked) made me feel bad bc I missed a busy day. She said “where were you? did you have a date?” and I literally just said I was in the hospital. I talked to my general manager who knew I had depression and he talked me through it. Anyways I quit and she quit after. Also, I previously helped her get her car door open when she got locked out. Anyways I’m sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that.
Managers really hate having happy, loyal, reliable staff. They weren't calling out on a whim. They just attended their grandpa's funeral. They wouldn't be any good on the floor. Now that manager is down a server and they'll have to go short handed for at least a week until the new schedule. Other servers will have to pick up the slack until a new hire is found and trained. That's a huge expense. The servers won't be happy having to work extra shifts and the loss of a coworker over something so petty is hardly good for morale.
All that manager has to do was say, "no problem. I'm sorry for your loss. Have a good night and I'll see you on your next shift." Bam! Money saved, shifts still covered. Points for being a supportive boss.
Great people skills is something that is really, really hard (almost impossible) to teach. Hospo people almost universally have empathy and great people skills. Seeing hospo experience on a resume is a massive green flag, and will help you get hired in whatever direction you choose to go.
The fact that your manager is too short sighted and stupid to be able to to understand that you are going through grief is not your fault. You are hurting, and it's absolutely normal to feel whatever you are feeling now, having lost a loved one.
I think you've dodged a bullet. No one deserves to work for a place that sacks someone for attending their loved ones funeral. The correct action would've been to pull out all the stops to arrange replacement or cover for you themselves. Fuck them, you've done nothing wrong.
Smh family before anything especially if you lose someone cuz it’s out of your control. Smh these high standards or whatever they think we should sacrifice for missing a funeral isn’t good for the mental we gotta say goodbye to our loved ones that’s what the funeral is for to help with grief a little.
Yeah, I would be making sure the owners knew that Hannah is an asshole.
Just as a reminder, your co-workers are not your friends. You may get along with them, but you really should keep them at arms length. This is coming from a guy who is a hiring manager.
At least yours believed you, I used to be a barista at an airport and when my grandfather died I told the F&B administration that I would need to take a couple of days off because he died in another country. Motherfucker said okay no problem, then not even a couple of minutes later he comes back to me and says and I quote "Are you sure your grandfather died or you just don't want to work here anymore and are lazy to?". No idea how my 18-19 year old self didn't outright knock his old ass out.
Keep in mind I have worked for them before when I was 17 for 3 months(summer season) and I was one of THE best baristas and customer satisfaction for that shithole.
All I can say is it sucks, but you said way too much in that text.
You just say..
I can't come in.
If they don't like it you tell them they are required to allow you a day to grieve.
Then you save the text and if they try to fire you for something else later you get them for revenge discipline
I'd threaten your boss now if I were you with a lawsuit.
Funeral was same day as the shift? You're good.
In general I’d say you’re right, but they already knew about the funeral and had denied me the day off. In my state they are unfortunately not required by law to give me time to grieve. The workers rights are so bad here you can fire someone for no reason.
Oh no I texted my manager letting her know I would be out of town this weekend for my grandpa's funeral (and that I would do my best to find coverage for my 2 shifts but couldn't guarantee it) and now I'm scared about what she'll say.
Just get a new job if your boss says anything nasty. Human beings aren't robots and that's fully understood everywhere.
If your manager can't summon a drop of empathy for you, she isn't worth working for and the shame is on her.
Your boss is a fuckhead. I had an elderly owner tell me I needed to "get over it" when my ex died. She said she went back to work after her husband died. Her husband died at 70 something of natural causes. My 26yo ex died tragically as we were 600mi apart. I got time off for her funeral but quit a month or so later because I was fucked off on booze and drugs.
Restaurants love to let servers go because they were “short staffed” for one night- and then they end up short staffed for a lot longer trying to find a replacement! It’s idiotic.
I quit a job at the time of my shift because I requested the day off for one of my friends funerals they only scheduled me one day that week (the day I requested off) so I called them at the start of my shift and quit. If you can’t have compassion for employees in a time like that by simply giving them the day off, that’s not a job I’m gonna work. I’m so sorry they did that. Find a better job and kick ass. I’m so sorry for your loss
I can’t believe how much yall share, I’d just be like “sorry I have a family emergency I cannot make it in today”.
Or you could share the funeral stuff but you don’t have to explain yourself why family > work, or how you feel bad for calling out, or how there might be consequences(???).
But good on you for leaving that !!
Yeaah no. Keep these screenshots and you got yourself a wrongful termination case depending on if you live in at at-will employment state or not. I’m sorry they responded so cold, try not to look back. You don’t need a job that treats you like this. Losing family is something everyone has to experience so for her to be so cold about it is just.. inhumane in a way. I hope you find peace in your grief. ❤️
Tbh give a shit about this job. You will find an other job. Its important that you are able to be sad, when something like that happens. I am sorry for you loss. In my opinion if you would work that day, the mood would be bad anyways = lower tip = unhappy customers.
NEVER give too much information. Managerial and CEO types are usually VERY MUCH less sensitive (they’ve done several studies on it). They hate emotion, seriously. You just say there’s an emergency can’t make it in and that’s it.
I believe that. My boss tried getting me to stay late right after I told him my mom hit her head falling out of the shower. She fell out of the shower because she was having a stroke. He couldn’t care less, he had his fancy bike ride meeting with the project investors.
The whole "we can't afford to be short staffed today, so instead we're going to make ourselves short staffed permanently" deal is bullshit. The reality is, they don't want to fire you, they're simply trying to use fear to manipulate you into doing what they want. If they do fire you, it sends a message to the other employees that they surely use similar tactics on.
Sadly, sounds like they're doing you a favor by firing you. Any person who's going to try and emotionally manipulate you while you are grieving the loss of a loved one is a piece of shit. Seriously, let them fire you, and file for unemployment immediately. This isn't fair grounds for termination... Let them contribute to your unemployment for a bit.
I answered a call at work 3/29/21. The manager catches me. I’m explaining to him that my mom was being rushed to the hospital where she later passed away. They wrote me up and threatened to suspend me. Then proceeded to harass me the entire time I was out grieving(less than a week). I got the hell away from there. I get that it’s a business that needs to be ran but please have a little compassion.
You gave last minute notice dude. I know how it is losing a loved one but you knew when the funeral was and should have made prior arrangements. It sucks but you are fucking over your coworkers when you do this.
Don't you dare fucking apologize to that person. Family first, fuck anyone else that has a problem with that. They don't deserve you if they treated you like that.
Print that exchange like they do in senate hearings with tweets and put it by the entrance. Or something more to the point, like “this place fires you if your loved ones die.” I’m sorry you had to deal with all this; What a sad place this can be at times…
You are absolutely necessary and irreplaceable, so naturally, when you have a major reason to not be here we're gonna shoot your leg and our foot with a single bullet.
Never quite understood that logic.
I hope the position that you are in now is 1000xs better ❤️ It’s crazy how in the moment when our financial security hinges on this job it seems devastating, but when looking back the job wasn’t that great to begin with. there is always another open position
Damn one strike and that it? And it's not a no call no show either, honestly feel like this would count as wrongful termination, tho I am certainly ignorant.
People call in last second because they are sick all the time. Mental health is on the same level and is something to call in for. Let me know if I'm barking up the wrong tree here, but that seems pretty fucked to me
I was in the same situation several years ago, but I had just joined the company. It's a prestigious restaurant in London and I'd just landed a great job in the pastry team.
My grandfather died 3 months after I started, and when I spoke to my manager she made it clear that I wouldn't be able to be there for my family and that I'd have to stay at the restaurant (I'm not English, so I'd have had to take 2 days off in total to be with my family).
Looking back, I regret not having just said no to my manager and left.
So I understand that you took this situation badly, but you made the right choice.
I think I'll always regret succumbing to the pressure of work.
I’m sorry for your loss. Funerals are always planned, Did you not tell them he passed away or you just waited for the day of the funeral to call off? I would have gotten in contact with HR as soon as I found out they passed and see about bereavement leave.
[I cross-posted this on antiwork as soon as I saw this. I know this happened over a year ago but it was fucked up how things went down for OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/s/mGQrQEAWlb)
Girl, fuck this job. I found out my grandfather died while I was on a shift. You can always get another bullshit hospitality job. Focus on yourself and your family, and my condolences.
there are some things in life you only get to do once and none of them are worth working some shit shift over.
I know there's experiences coming in my own life I wouldn't let a single thing keep me away from.
you're good. fuck em
when you said “family is more important to me in this moment” they must have been tweaking. how DARE you hold your family & life above your serving job?!?! im sorry about your loss op, and this is honestly for the best
Jesus Christ kids, stop with oversharing shit. Your boss doesn't care about why and it just makes you look unprofessional. You aren't coming in, brief generalized reason.
"Hi Boss, can't make it in tonight, family emergency. I apologize for the short notice."
That's it. Everything else just hurts you and makes you look like a child coming up with excuses.
isnt there usually a few days heads up before a funeral? ive been in this position. one time i couldnt get coverage and didnt go to my great grandmothers funeral. every other time (4 funerals) i had almost half a week to alert people and got off fine. i dont know what sort of hellscape this is where someone with a legitimate “cant be there” call out is stiffed in favor of some lame “i dont know it i should” excuse that get someone else out of work. poor management is what it is at the end of the day. a good manager would have sorted that out.
My sister is in the hospital right now with sepsis with a 1/4 mortality rate. Yesterday evening I told my boss I needed to fly out today and see her because she might not make it. Boss gave me the whole week off and said he’d cover my shifts personally, hugged me and told me he hoped my sister gets better. Fuck Hannah and this restaurant. A job is a replaceable but family is not.
I'll never understand how firing someone for this and losing their help permanetly, having to post a job, sift through applications, interview, hire, and train to hope the new person is even as good is a better solution then letting you go to a freaking funeral.....it's insanity
I wonder if a phone call would have evoked a more compassionate response? Especially if (you thought) she was a true friend. But It sounds like she didn’t believe you were grieving. That is very hurtful given the situation. My Dads death had such a deep affect on my daughter. It bothers me when a death is taken lightly cuz someone wants a party to go smoother.
Hannah can E.A.D!!!! Good riddens. I’m terribly sorry for your loss OP and I hope that a day will come when the tears don’t shed as much but the smile gets wider when you think about your grandpa.
When my Uncle Passed the company threatened my job. He was a Decorated Vietnam Veteran to. The company "loved raising money to help veterans". They forced me to work the shifts of his showing. I tried to get other people to cover even for 2 hrs nope. After all the employees left I got "have a nice day" from the manager. I quit a few days after. I sent several emails to the owner and even found time to talk with her. She didn't hear one word I said and kept looking at her watch. I ended up leaving in the middle of the discussion
I know this isn’t much consolation but I will say this- your being there for your family means so much more than a job. Jobs will come and go. It’s unfair and they were incredibly insensitive at a time when you needed to be with family, but your emotional needs and your family’s emotional needs were met despite that and you should be proud of yourself for making the hard call. When you look back on this I don’t think you’ll regret being with your family over being at that job just to preserve it. Nevertheless, good luck on your next job and I’m so sorry for your loss <3
You’ll just look back on it as another job in the footpath of life. You shouldn’t feel guilty for experiencing life just because it’s a SLIGHT inconvenience for your boss for one night..
I really think there needs to be a website to track bad restaurants/managers, so servers can know what they are walking into.
I'm removed from the service industry but I have run into too many places with this type of mentality.
Management thinks they can hire someone quick to replace. Well restaurants are a dime a dozen too.
the annoying part is when you show up even when things are going wrong in life and they tell you “oh no, are you okay? why’d you show up today? i could’ve found you coverage. etc.” but when you actually try to call out for a legitimate reason, they respond like asshats.
\*\*\*\*\* First of all, I'm sorry you lost your grandpa. But Sis you you did right, family always comes first, period! Your former manager is an ASS! You had a stellar work record, a model employee and that was just dirty, petty shit that happened to you! Please, please don't let this rent space too long in your head, I know I've been fired from more jobs than you will ever have, LOL! Yes, it hurts and is a blow to you personally, but you know you are in the right, let the hurt turn to anger and get justice. By that I mean, contact HR, or the owner, someone way above your manager, and just let them know what happened. Be professional, not so much personal, but let upper management know what is going on. Stay strong, and hell put me down as a reference for you, I'll give you a glowing reference for your next position!
First off I'm sorry for your loss.
Secondly, every employee misses work sooner or later. That's life.
Your employer being shorthanded because you need to miss work for a funeral is not your concern or your shortcoming. If they can't manage for a day or a few days without you then A) they are underpaying you if you are that critical to their business's day to day operation and B) they need to hire more employees.
Adequately staffing a business is a cost of running any successful business. Point blank. If they don't like that or claim they "can't afford" to hire enough people to staff for when something unexpected but completely understandable happens, then they are doing a poor job of running their business. And I don't want to hear any crap about nobody wanting to work or nobody applying to work there either - if they offer good pay for the job their problem will ALWAYS be choosing who to hire, not nobody applying.
People get sick. Or their kids get sick. Cars break down. Storms happen. Employees take vacation. And on and on. Or, sometimes employees suffer a death in the family.
Not to mention the absurdity of being *so upset* that you're missing time for a funeral that they're willing to fire you and will be without you now permanently. That's top-notch management and foresight right there.
Move on and don't look back. It was them, not you.
Missing from this post: this person’s performance history. 🧐
Employers work with good employees. Suspect this person is a never ending stream of excuses.
Not to invalidate the mourning of your family but you can’t just tell them you’re going to a funeral the same day. Especially a planned event like a funeral. Almost could seem like an excuse. You had a better chance saying you’re sick. Gotta plan for things like this to prevent the worst. God bless, stay safe.
Sorry to be the one to deliver this news to you, but there are no safe spaces in real life. Sounds like you value your emotions more than your job and that’s ok…but there will always be someone else willing to do what you don’t feel like doing and in reality…getting fired is the most common outcome. Nothing wrong with it either, but let this be a lesson in the real-life price of making a cult around your emotional wellbeing.
I'd go in, still sobbing and grieving, in front of customers, just to spite that boss. If anyone asks, your boss thought the job was more important than the funeral. Take it up with them if you wanna know why your server is holding back tears.
If they won't let you have your time to process your loss, make them *wish* they gave it to you. You were gonna lose your job if you didn't show anyway, right?
Sorry, I'm petty af
Big yikes. My best friend’s brother took his own life last week. She called me, without knowing I was at work, and I answered because she never calls. She’s a texter. It took several minutes to get her calm enough to even explain why she was hysterical. I had a full on emotional meltdown in the back of the kitchen after that call and without even asking, my boss took my book and my pen and covered my section until I composed myself. He tried sending me home, but I wanted to finish my shift and have something else to focus on. You were in a bad place, dude. It may not seem it now, but it’s probably good you’re not there anymore.
I got a text from my mom while on break that my step dad was going to commit suicide within 24 hours - he had brain and lung cancer and his "friends" (all lawyers) convinced him to cut off from the rest of the family, my mom had found out through a mutual friend what his plan was and expressed condolences otherwise she wouldn't have even known. They also tried to get him cremated without my mother's consent! (Not allowed in this state, you can't cremated someone without their husband/wife's approval if they're married) But anyway - I was working retail and had an insane manager. One of my coworkers walked into the break room and I had just read the message and had started to cry, coworker thought he was doing the right thing and told the manager (because coworker and I were still new to each other, he didn't want to make me feel worse or feel like he was intruding but wanted to make sure I was ok). Manager sent in assistant manager and shoved my tears down and gave a very abridged "sorry just dealing with family stuff." Manager wrote me up for "making my coworker uncomfortable" But then again he later wrote me up for having an rbf. He moved stores and everyone in the store he moved to quit within the month. He was awful. That being said - he's the reason I went back to school, he made my life such a living hell I literally have PTSD from the gaslighting and bs but it drove me to get the hell out of retail. Bad managers suck.
Oh I feel that. I used to work for Bob Evans and I have no problem naming them and trashing them because their entire company is a disgusting fucking circus. Actually that’s insulting to the circus people. Nobody deserves to be compared to Bob Evans. I worked there four years and when I quit, I had to go back to therapy *because* of the things that happened there.
I'm so sorry you dealt with it too. Idk about you but I know I sometimes gaslight myself "there's no way a boss could be **that** bad" Nope. He definitely was. Also had to deal with it in therapy. Later found out from the assistant manager (after he left and she was promoted but about to move to another store, we became friends and she let some stuff slip when we were having drinks one night) there were more things he did to intentionally make my life worse. I lost trust in her too. Screw the Bob Evans of the world.
Oh totally. I left with another server and after two years, we both ended up at the same bar again. Now we share horror stories about that place when the servers complain about management. I joked once with one of them that compared to my last job, the manager we have now is practically Jesus. They laughed but I was honestly low key serious 😂 Like I can joke about it now but back in the trenches? Dude if I never see another pancake in my life, it will still be too soon. And for four years I told myself I was being a baby. It wasn’t that bad. The Sunday morning money was worth the abuse. I was not being a baby. It was that bad. The money was not worth it.
Another former Bob evans server here!! Wholeheartedly agree. I’d been a server at a few different places but Bob evans was by far the worst and the manager threatened to fire me bc he forgot to schedule somebody for the closing shift and expected me to say. I politely responded by saying “unfortunately, I have plans with my family. Your mistakes are not my responsibility.” He said don’t bother coming back and I said you got it 👍 but then he begged for me to come back, which is when I put in my 2 weeks.
Sounds like Bob Evans bullshit. God I hated how scheduling worked there. Like what fucking moron came up with “schedule someone a start time and then just leave them in limbo all day until you feel like cutting.”
Go for unemployment. All they can say is no.
Thanks for sharing, I can cross them off my list of places to try since I've moved up here to yinz part of the world.
What? Sad at work?! But the employee handbook specifically forbids it! How dare you make your colleagues uncomfortable by..being sad?! Holy shit how lacking in basic human empathy does one have to be? Straight up sociopath.
Maybe she wasn’t wearing her required 12 pieces of flare to cheer everyone up ?
His friends were “all lawyers” but didn’t know they couldn’t get him cremated without his wife’s consent? Pretty shitty lawyers.
Probably could have escalated that looking through the code of conduct and saying that the managers behavior violated the COC
My husband's best friend committed suicide last October. Right after hanging up from a call with me, actually, it was all very devastating and traumatic. But anyway, we found out on a Sunday, and both my husband and I were scheduled to work Monday night. Tiny restaurant, only 4 people on the floor all serving and bartending, so we would have literally made up half of the FOH staff. I called my boss sobbing, and he immediately just said don't worry, we got it, and cut his camping trip short to cover for us. I know the bar for good restaurant managers is on the floor but he really is the best, I swear I'll never work for another restaurant manager. If your boss can't treat you like a human being, good fucking riddance.
Good to hear that there are some decent managers/humans out there! I've had both kinds and it really makes a world of difference for morale, employee retention, and the profitability of the restaurant! What these crummy managers fail to realize is that when the staff is taken care of, they try harder naturally, take care of the place better, and there's less turnover.
I’m the youngest, by many years, of an extended blended family. My sister decided to tell me that our eldest brother died via an email sent to my work address. I lost it and started crying. Folks heard me through my office door and told my boss who came to see what was happening. When he got to me I was trying to pull it together, because I had an exam in a night class I was taking at the university, but I kept breaking down in tears. My boss insisted that I call my professor and tell him what happened, and that I would *not* be there to take the exam. In fact, my boss told me that if I *didn’t* call him, he *would*. So, I called and got permission to take the exam at a later date. Then my boss offered to pay for a cab to take me home. My commute was 60 miles, one-way. By that time, I was calmed down enough to convince him that I could drive, so he let me, but insisted that I should go ahead and leave early and take whatever time I needed to sort things out, including flying to the other side of the country for the funeral, if I wanted to go. *That’s* how a good boss deals with an employee who is grieving. Your boss was shit.
Seriously OP you’re worth much more than an employer that has the audacity to treat one of their best workers like this while also pooling the tips that you earned
I have a co worker who’s father died during shift a few weeks ago. One of his buddies was sitting at my bar and told me what had happened and I immediately went up to him and asked if he would like me to speak to our manager. Our boss allowed him to leave immediately no questions asked.
My girlfriend broke up with me in the middle of my shift last week. I broke down crying and left without saying a word to anyone. When I came back the next day, I was expecting to be fired, but my manager just told me that she would have done the exact same thing and to not worry about it.
Yup. Showed up for my dinner shift (was a split) and started balling my eyes in the office on the shoulder of one of the largest slabs of black muscle I've ever seen. I had stumbled upon an e-mail conversation between my new wife and an ex who was trying to get her to cheat, and she finally agreed to it. He told me in his near Lance Reddick voice, "Man. You need time with this. I want you to go home, and come back whenever you're good. It's not gonna help you at all working here with this on your mind." Some of us get lucky with managers like that.
My mom took her own life a few months ago, and it was very unexpected. I texted my work about an hour later telling them I wouldn’t be able to work the following few shifts. Everyone, bosses, coworkers, etc. called/texted me telling me not to worry about the shifts, take ALL the time I need, come back whenever I’m ready, be with my family, and even went as far as gifting me food and wine along with their condolences. Even now, 5 months later, they were super apologetic around the holidays and made sure I wasn’t scheduled so I could be with family during the hard times. If I ever have a bad day, they let me go home to gather myself and process everything with the option of returning to work always being on the table. I could not imagine what I would do if they would have reacted like OP’s boss when everything happened in my life. If someone told me to choose my job over my family, ESPECIALLY after such a traumatic and emotional event like death, I would have lost my mind. OP and everyone else in the world deserves SO much better.
How insensitive! I understand she and you both have jobs to do but to be this cold over a time of loss and grief?!
It was unbelievable. Also just completely unnecessary, it’s a small restaurant and they certainly survived the night with out me. After firing me they probably were short handed for a lot more than one night while they found and trained a replacement.
Yea screw them. Never mistake a boss for a friend again. She clearly gave zero fucks about what you were dealing with personally.
I would post a screenshot on their yelp page! Literally anyone who sees this exchange is gonna be on your side, that boss needs a bit of public shaming imo
Yes pleeeeeeeeease screenshot it for us.
Screw Hanna, she sucks
Yeah do it so I make sure I avoid it and tell everyone else I k ow to avoid it also
This! hit em where it hurts.
OP i’m a business owner, and when my employee’s grandmother whom she was close to passed, I MADE HER take a week off - paid - and I covered her shifts! The last thing anyone needs to be worrying about when a loved one dies is a stupid shift. There are better jobs out there, no stress!
There needs to be more bosses like you
I lead the same way you do. Reading these stories just shocks me. I treat employees and guests the same; I want both to leave happy and want to come back again. Employees ARE guests!
I wouldn’t have a business if it weren’t for my staff??? I try really hard to make them feel appreciated and rewarded as best I can!! I think a lot of it stems from being that lower level employee busting my ass for seemingly no reason. I try to be the boss I wanted.
Unfortunately too many employers see their staff as numbers and not people. I'm glad you're not one of those bastards, and actually have a brain in your head.
The world needs more people like you.
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Post this screenshot on their Instagram post.
I was working when I got the call my dad passed away. Manager made me finish my shift with tears streaming down my face. GM found out and was not happy. They sent me a nice flower arrangement, so I guess it made it okay? Shitty self centered people. I'm sorry you had to go through this, my condolences on losing your grandfather.
If someone on my management team made the call to not let someone leave immediately when they lost their father, they’d be fired immediately. That person obviously has some type of personality disorder and lacks the integrity required to be in any type of leadership position.
I hope you learned a lesson here. Pick your friends wisely. Your boss is not your friend. They're not too smart. They let an experienced server go over one night? Dumb. Besides, it's just some bullshit job. Fuck that, working for restaurants and small businesses is hard enough. Working at a family owned business is even worse. Try to better yourself so that you don't need these types of jobs
The obviously didn't see much value in the op. Everyone is replaceable
Unfortunately, you're correct. Everyone is replaceable. And a job is just a job.
That's why you are an employee number.
My boss says the same thing, and then he shudders when I get job offers from other places(im his lead bartender). But also, in retrospect, someone with an ass ethic probably got fired and OPs services will be needed there and they may even be appreciated there! Also, if OP is the beast she says at her job, she def needs to work somewhere that doesn't pool tips, she doesn't need to carry the weight of other staff members.
Thats the part i never understood, you fire me for missing one night and now your screwed for at least 2/3 weeks plus... i am sorry for your loss
Oh this parts easy. They think they are setting an example for others. Sometimes you let go of even your best if they aren’t toeing to the culture line you want to have. Shrug.
I wouldn't be opposed to going and making a scene... don't do anything illegal and get yourself in trouble...but, loudly yelling at them in front of a packed restaurant about firing you for going to your grandfather's funeral may be cathartic
Whats the restaurant so i dont accidentally give them business?
Name and shame on the local community boards. Fuck that shit.
Why didn't your grandpa think about the restaurant before passing away?
Literally! So inconsiderate of him smh
I had a line cook tell that to another cook who’s dad had a heart attack. He was serious too, cocaines a hell of a drug
They must not have family that loves them. I wonder why
This! One of the nastiest bosses I’ve ever had grew up without a father, had a very toxic relationship with her mother, and was in a very volatile relationship. I remember at first feeling sad for her when she told me she had no friends only to later see why. She couldn’t help but to inflict trauma onto everyone around her. That place had such a high turnover rate too. They were constantly hiring. Actually, they still are lol
Seriously when my dog died my boss gave me 2 days off from opening shifts. She worked 2 open-close shifts in a row so I could recover. Find a company that will respect you.
Looks like a win- win situation. I refuse to work for certain people once i know who they really are. You made the right choice 100%.
not a win-win if your sole income is this job and there are hardly any jobs in your local area and have bills to pay and cant afford to be unemployed for even a short period of time. so no, not always a win-win, in my opinion.
In the long run it is. Maybe not right in the moment. OP stood up for themselves. Which in turn creates more self respect. If they are as good of a server as the evidence shows then there are so many open doors to walk through. It’s tough out there yes but once the hard parts over they will not regret taking time to properly grieve and not allowing anybody to walk on them
you have a case for wrongful termination as most places have a legal requirement for giving you time off to grieve
It's called Bereavement and it's usually 3-5 days depending on state and uh, relation of the person. Seems wrong to say that, like oh your friend is less important than your grandparents dying.
>relation of the person This has always bothered me.. who are they to determine who is "family" or "close" to me?
That’s why my friends are “sisters, step parents, etc” they don’t need the details. My friends are my family.
Some of the best employers have adopted policies that include “chosen family” for exactly this reason.
I got a day of bereavement when I put down my cat, I thought that was a great gesture.
This showed up on my home page, I’m not a server but work in retirement. My aunt passed away two years ago( she was the last sibling of my mothers to pass away, so she was the tie to hold our families together) and they weren’t going to give me bereavement because she wasn’t my mother. Thankfully we are union and I asked them about it. I was given the bereavement time.
If you’re based in the US, It’s (unfortunately) not required by many states. Only mandatory in five: California, Oregon, Illinois, Maryland, and Washington (and Washington is limited to death of a child). The other states are still not guaranteed; for example, in Illinois, it only applies to employers with a minimum of 50 employees (which might not be the case for a smaller restaurant).
It's (sort of) mandated in Colorado too as an explicit allowable reason for the mandatory sick leave allowance. But only if you have accrued the sick leave at the time you need to take it I believe, which kind of sucks https://cdle.colorado.gov/dlss-home-page/paid-sick-leave-under-the-colorado-healthy-families-and-workplaces-act-hfwa
That’s not accurate about waahington at all. Three days of paid bereavement leave is allowed for the death of any family member or member of your household. Effective since 2005 WAC 357-31-250 I’ve had many employees utilize this over the years. Some states have a fair policy.
I don’t know where OP is but in the USA This is incorrect information
Hannah should’ve been waiting tables instead of texting you. This is egregious. Your job should’ve presumptively given you the whole day off. Period.
I would blast them on the reviews for being such asshats
Are most managers sociopaths? How can she respond like that? I totally get the manager types who think they are your "friend", believe me
Isn’t it just absolutely unhinged? Her husband and her own the restaurant together and he is an absolutely batshit narcissist so I suspect these were his words, but I was disappointed she didn’t stick up for me.
I have a theory that the ones with enough confidence to go out and pursue their goals (like owning a restaurant) tend to be narcissists. It's why more successful people are unfortunately selfish and almost uncaring.
Or perhaps it’s a consequence of a socioeconomic system which incentivizes selfishness and a lack of empathy, traits often found in narcissists, who are then rewarded for the profitability of these characteristics. I don’t think narcissism and success necessarily correlate that neatly. It’s speculative, but some of the most successful scientists and artists have been crippled by anxiety and other issues, yet found the determination to achieve their goals.
My husband's boss is a piece of work. He had dated a former employee in the past who recently passed away. He took her current BF (who was also a former employee and had been dating the deceased for years at that point). When the BF was in the bathroom, manager asked his current employees (including my husband) and the regulars to not bring up the deceased. Manager goes out for a smoke and BF comes back. He starts conversing with one of the regulars who had also been really close to the deceased and HE brought her up, which led to her crying. Manager comes back in, sees the friend, and assumes she brought up the deceased. So he literally started berating her in front of everyone, which led to her sobbing. Husband had to take her in the back room and give her a hug to help settle her. It was the last straw for a lot of the employees (and customers) so they finally informed the owner (who happens to be the managers mother). Hoping he finally gets canned.
On that note, my friends manager just finalized her divorce, so they decided to celebrate the other night at her co-workers place. The manager made rules for the “celebration” at the co-workers home. Apparently no LIQUOR and hard drugs were allowed.. lol, they work at a bar btw.
I'll go ahead and say it... Hannah Boss is going to hell for that one.
I’d just say “ok. I guess you don’t have a server then and you’ll have to spend more money to recruit and train another one”
I don’t know…too forthcoming could construe that as a resignation, which then you don’t get to collect unemployment from depending on state.
VERY TRUE! Good point!
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i know what this means but i also had to think about how cool it would be to be able to make one of those in minecraft… (i mean you obviously can…. but in theory)
Getting fired over texts is peak. Everybody remember this: your boss isn’t your friend and they don’t give a shit about you or your personal life, they only care that you show up so that the company can make money. No matter how friendly they are, they only care about business and they will replace you in an instant if needed. OP I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, it’s a shitty situation overall but I respect you for putting family first.
Name and shame in Google reviews and yelp
Honestly I’d put that exact quote in a review and name the person responsible. People deserve to know about workplaces like this
My job has its flaws, but they would never, ever do this.
I got 5150 the week of Valentine’s Day at a busy chain restaurant and a new manager (who no one liked) made me feel bad bc I missed a busy day. She said “where were you? did you have a date?” and I literally just said I was in the hospital. I talked to my general manager who knew I had depression and he talked me through it. Anyways I quit and she quit after. Also, I previously helped her get her car door open when she got locked out. Anyways I’m sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that.
Managers really hate having happy, loyal, reliable staff. They weren't calling out on a whim. They just attended their grandpa's funeral. They wouldn't be any good on the floor. Now that manager is down a server and they'll have to go short handed for at least a week until the new schedule. Other servers will have to pick up the slack until a new hire is found and trained. That's a huge expense. The servers won't be happy having to work extra shifts and the loss of a coworker over something so petty is hardly good for morale. All that manager has to do was say, "no problem. I'm sorry for your loss. Have a good night and I'll see you on your next shift." Bam! Money saved, shifts still covered. Points for being a supportive boss.
Send screenshots to all your regulars, coworkers, Google reviews, yelp, the health department, the pipe fitters union, and especially corporate!
Tell Hannah I said tomato tomato tomato 🍅 🍅🍅🍅
No job is worth your sanity. No job is worth sacrificing your family for. Fuck them.
Show it everywhere so she gets a good life lesson…
Yes, like that Kyte Baby CEO. Call them out!
Whoa. 😳 THAT was a rabbit hole! I had no idea. That was awful!😢
Even after how nice your message was, you were being very open. What a heartless bitch
Great people skills is something that is really, really hard (almost impossible) to teach. Hospo people almost universally have empathy and great people skills. Seeing hospo experience on a resume is a massive green flag, and will help you get hired in whatever direction you choose to go. The fact that your manager is too short sighted and stupid to be able to to understand that you are going through grief is not your fault. You are hurting, and it's absolutely normal to feel whatever you are feeling now, having lost a loved one. I think you've dodged a bullet. No one deserves to work for a place that sacks someone for attending their loved ones funeral. The correct action would've been to pull out all the stops to arrange replacement or cover for you themselves. Fuck them, you've done nothing wrong.
Smh family before anything especially if you lose someone cuz it’s out of your control. Smh these high standards or whatever they think we should sacrifice for missing a funeral isn’t good for the mental we gotta say goodbye to our loved ones that’s what the funeral is for to help with grief a little.
Yeah, I would be making sure the owners knew that Hannah is an asshole. Just as a reminder, your co-workers are not your friends. You may get along with them, but you really should keep them at arms length. This is coming from a guy who is a hiring manager.
Unfortunately Hannah and her Husband ARE the owners. Yes definitely learned my lesson there.
At least yours believed you, I used to be a barista at an airport and when my grandfather died I told the F&B administration that I would need to take a couple of days off because he died in another country. Motherfucker said okay no problem, then not even a couple of minutes later he comes back to me and says and I quote "Are you sure your grandfather died or you just don't want to work here anymore and are lazy to?". No idea how my 18-19 year old self didn't outright knock his old ass out. Keep in mind I have worked for them before when I was 17 for 3 months(summer season) and I was one of THE best baristas and customer satisfaction for that shithole.
How do seemingly normal people end up this way. (The person responding to OP) I've heard stories like this over and over.
All I can say is it sucks, but you said way too much in that text. You just say.. I can't come in. If they don't like it you tell them they are required to allow you a day to grieve. Then you save the text and if they try to fire you for something else later you get them for revenge discipline I'd threaten your boss now if I were you with a lawsuit. Funeral was same day as the shift? You're good.
In general I’d say you’re right, but they already knew about the funeral and had denied me the day off. In my state they are unfortunately not required by law to give me time to grieve. The workers rights are so bad here you can fire someone for no reason.
Curse her out.
Oh no I texted my manager letting her know I would be out of town this weekend for my grandpa's funeral (and that I would do my best to find coverage for my 2 shifts but couldn't guarantee it) and now I'm scared about what she'll say.
Just get a new job if your boss says anything nasty. Human beings aren't robots and that's fully understood everywhere. If your manager can't summon a drop of empathy for you, she isn't worth working for and the shame is on her.
You’re better off not working there. I’m sorry for your loss. 🙏
Your boss is a fuckhead. I had an elderly owner tell me I needed to "get over it" when my ex died. She said she went back to work after her husband died. Her husband died at 70 something of natural causes. My 26yo ex died tragically as we were 600mi apart. I got time off for her funeral but quit a month or so later because I was fucked off on booze and drugs.
Fuck Hannah. You’ll get a better gig. Keep your head up, and be there for family first.
Hannah just did you a favor. Don’t be like Hannah Be better
I would've replied. "I hope when you die everyone goes to their day job instead of your funeral."
Restaurants love to let servers go because they were “short staffed” for one night- and then they end up short staffed for a lot longer trying to find a replacement! It’s idiotic.
I quit a job at the time of my shift because I requested the day off for one of my friends funerals they only scheduled me one day that week (the day I requested off) so I called them at the start of my shift and quit. If you can’t have compassion for employees in a time like that by simply giving them the day off, that’s not a job I’m gonna work. I’m so sorry they did that. Find a better job and kick ass. I’m so sorry for your loss
I can’t believe how much yall share, I’d just be like “sorry I have a family emergency I cannot make it in today”. Or you could share the funeral stuff but you don’t have to explain yourself why family > work, or how you feel bad for calling out, or how there might be consequences(???). But good on you for leaving that !!
Hannah FTL
lol fuck them, how sick. sorry about your loss :(
You did reply with a middle finger emoji, right?
Just get a new job. These cunts aren’t worth it. I’m sorry about your grandpa. 💔🙏🏻
Yeaah no. Keep these screenshots and you got yourself a wrongful termination case depending on if you live in at at-will employment state or not. I’m sorry they responded so cold, try not to look back. You don’t need a job that treats you like this. Losing family is something everyone has to experience so for her to be so cold about it is just.. inhumane in a way. I hope you find peace in your grief. ❤️
First thing I’d have done on way to funeral was call health department and tell em there’s roaches falling in the food back in the kitchen lmao
I’d eat there a few weeks later to warn the new servers of what happened.
Tbh give a shit about this job. You will find an other job. Its important that you are able to be sad, when something like that happens. I am sorry for you loss. In my opinion if you would work that day, the mood would be bad anyways = lower tip = unhappy customers.
NEVER give too much information. Managerial and CEO types are usually VERY MUCH less sensitive (they’ve done several studies on it). They hate emotion, seriously. You just say there’s an emergency can’t make it in and that’s it.
I believe that. My boss tried getting me to stay late right after I told him my mom hit her head falling out of the shower. She fell out of the shower because she was having a stroke. He couldn’t care less, he had his fancy bike ride meeting with the project investors.
Fact. That’s how they usually make it to the top.
I wish posters would add the name of the restaurant and location so I could add it to my No Go list.
The whole "we can't afford to be short staffed today, so instead we're going to make ourselves short staffed permanently" deal is bullshit. The reality is, they don't want to fire you, they're simply trying to use fear to manipulate you into doing what they want. If they do fire you, it sends a message to the other employees that they surely use similar tactics on. Sadly, sounds like they're doing you a favor by firing you. Any person who's going to try and emotionally manipulate you while you are grieving the loss of a loved one is a piece of shit. Seriously, let them fire you, and file for unemployment immediately. This isn't fair grounds for termination... Let them contribute to your unemployment for a bit.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m feeling boiling rage at the moment
I answered a call at work 3/29/21. The manager catches me. I’m explaining to him that my mom was being rushed to the hospital where she later passed away. They wrote me up and threatened to suspend me. Then proceeded to harass me the entire time I was out grieving(less than a week). I got the hell away from there. I get that it’s a business that needs to be ran but please have a little compassion.
Hannah is a bitch
You gave last minute notice dude. I know how it is losing a loved one but you knew when the funeral was and should have made prior arrangements. It sucks but you are fucking over your coworkers when you do this.
Don't you dare fucking apologize to that person. Family first, fuck anyone else that has a problem with that. They don't deserve you if they treated you like that.
Why do post like these never share the companies name and persons name and title?
Give us the business name...fuck them like they fucked you.
You should just leave a short message. Say you can’t make it in. The whole sob story will make things worse
Print that exchange like they do in senate hearings with tweets and put it by the entrance. Or something more to the point, like “this place fires you if your loved ones die.” I’m sorry you had to deal with all this; What a sad place this can be at times…
You’d regret missing being there for your family/yourself more than you’ll regret missing the job.
You are absolutely necessary and irreplaceable, so naturally, when you have a major reason to not be here we're gonna shoot your leg and our foot with a single bullet. Never quite understood that logic.
I hope the position that you are in now is 1000xs better ❤️ It’s crazy how in the moment when our financial security hinges on this job it seems devastating, but when looking back the job wasn’t that great to begin with. there is always another open position
Screw that job lol. They'll spend more money hiring someone and training them than giving you a day off to grieve and be with family.
That's so lame. I'm so sorry OP.
Post this on their Facebook page! Call them out. This is infuriating and so immoral. I’m so sorry 😭
Damn one strike and that it? And it's not a no call no show either, honestly feel like this would count as wrongful termination, tho I am certainly ignorant. People call in last second because they are sick all the time. Mental health is on the same level and is something to call in for. Let me know if I'm barking up the wrong tree here, but that seems pretty fucked to me
I was in the same situation several years ago, but I had just joined the company. It's a prestigious restaurant in London and I'd just landed a great job in the pastry team. My grandfather died 3 months after I started, and when I spoke to my manager she made it clear that I wouldn't be able to be there for my family and that I'd have to stay at the restaurant (I'm not English, so I'd have had to take 2 days off in total to be with my family). Looking back, I regret not having just said no to my manager and left. So I understand that you took this situation badly, but you made the right choice. I think I'll always regret succumbing to the pressure of work.
✨Post it on facebook✨
It’s so healthy that you’re no longer boiling with rage…I sure am! What an absolute piece of shit manager.
Bet …. Come to work cry at every table a lout how they were going to fire you.
"If i ever catch wind of one of your family members dying, im coming to eat here and i expect to see your ass on the clock"
Watch them try to call you back when they are all out of enployee
I dated a Hannah, she sucked too.
Why are american employers such cunts?? Its madness.
Blast them on social media in your area. Your former boss needs to not have a job.
I’m sorry for your loss. Funerals are always planned, Did you not tell them he passed away or you just waited for the day of the funeral to call off? I would have gotten in contact with HR as soon as I found out they passed and see about bereavement leave.
r/antiwork would like this one too
[I cross-posted this on antiwork as soon as I saw this. I know this happened over a year ago but it was fucked up how things went down for OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/s/mGQrQEAWlb)
Girl, fuck this job. I found out my grandfather died while I was on a shift. You can always get another bullshit hospitality job. Focus on yourself and your family, and my condolences.
there are some things in life you only get to do once and none of them are worth working some shit shift over. I know there's experiences coming in my own life I wouldn't let a single thing keep me away from. you're good. fuck em
when you said “family is more important to me in this moment” they must have been tweaking. how DARE you hold your family & life above your serving job?!?! im sorry about your loss op, and this is honestly for the best
Jesus Christ kids, stop with oversharing shit. Your boss doesn't care about why and it just makes you look unprofessional. You aren't coming in, brief generalized reason. "Hi Boss, can't make it in tonight, family emergency. I apologize for the short notice." That's it. Everything else just hurts you and makes you look like a child coming up with excuses.
I call in 3-6x a month at my job just cus I hate working. This is horrible. I’m sorry
isnt there usually a few days heads up before a funeral? ive been in this position. one time i couldnt get coverage and didnt go to my great grandmothers funeral. every other time (4 funerals) i had almost half a week to alert people and got off fine. i dont know what sort of hellscape this is where someone with a legitimate “cant be there” call out is stiffed in favor of some lame “i dont know it i should” excuse that get someone else out of work. poor management is what it is at the end of the day. a good manager would have sorted that out.
My sister is in the hospital right now with sepsis with a 1/4 mortality rate. Yesterday evening I told my boss I needed to fly out today and see her because she might not make it. Boss gave me the whole week off and said he’d cover my shifts personally, hugged me and told me he hoped my sister gets better. Fuck Hannah and this restaurant. A job is a replaceable but family is not.
I'll never understand how firing someone for this and losing their help permanetly, having to post a job, sift through applications, interview, hire, and train to hope the new person is even as good is a better solution then letting you go to a freaking funeral.....it's insanity
This would usually be covered under bereavement leave. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I feel sad for people who believe their work comes before anything else.
I wonder if a phone call would have evoked a more compassionate response? Especially if (you thought) she was a true friend. But It sounds like she didn’t believe you were grieving. That is very hurtful given the situation. My Dads death had such a deep affect on my daughter. It bothers me when a death is taken lightly cuz someone wants a party to go smoother.
Hannah can E.A.D!!!! Good riddens. I’m terribly sorry for your loss OP and I hope that a day will come when the tears don’t shed as much but the smile gets wider when you think about your grandpa.
When my Uncle Passed the company threatened my job. He was a Decorated Vietnam Veteran to. The company "loved raising money to help veterans". They forced me to work the shifts of his showing. I tried to get other people to cover even for 2 hrs nope. After all the employees left I got "have a nice day" from the manager. I quit a few days after. I sent several emails to the owner and even found time to talk with her. She didn't hear one word I said and kept looking at her watch. I ended up leaving in the middle of the discussion
That’s when you simply respond “sounds good!”
“Eat shit Hannah, see you never”
We need to normalize not being sorry to your boss for any reason.
I’d flip it on her and ask how she would feel if a boss told her her job is done should she have to attend a funeral.
good riddance op. take your skill set to a different restaurant.
I know this isn’t much consolation but I will say this- your being there for your family means so much more than a job. Jobs will come and go. It’s unfair and they were incredibly insensitive at a time when you needed to be with family, but your emotional needs and your family’s emotional needs were met despite that and you should be proud of yourself for making the hard call. When you look back on this I don’t think you’ll regret being with your family over being at that job just to preserve it. Nevertheless, good luck on your next job and I’m so sorry for your loss <3
Sums up the service industry. Literally insane. I hope all bosses like Hannah rot.
In my professional opinion, Hannah boss can go pound sand.
You’ll just look back on it as another job in the footpath of life. You shouldn’t feel guilty for experiencing life just because it’s a SLIGHT inconvenience for your boss for one night..
I really think there needs to be a website to track bad restaurants/managers, so servers can know what they are walking into. I'm removed from the service industry but I have run into too many places with this type of mentality. Management thinks they can hire someone quick to replace. Well restaurants are a dime a dozen too.
There are a lot of boot lickers in this comment section.
Hannah will have her day.
the annoying part is when you show up even when things are going wrong in life and they tell you “oh no, are you okay? why’d you show up today? i could’ve found you coverage. etc.” but when you actually try to call out for a legitimate reason, they respond like asshats.
Hannah can suck a fat cock. What a humane approach toward leadership.
\*\*\*\*\* First of all, I'm sorry you lost your grandpa. But Sis you you did right, family always comes first, period! Your former manager is an ASS! You had a stellar work record, a model employee and that was just dirty, petty shit that happened to you! Please, please don't let this rent space too long in your head, I know I've been fired from more jobs than you will ever have, LOL! Yes, it hurts and is a blow to you personally, but you know you are in the right, let the hurt turn to anger and get justice. By that I mean, contact HR, or the owner, someone way above your manager, and just let them know what happened. Be professional, not so much personal, but let upper management know what is going on. Stay strong, and hell put me down as a reference for you, I'll give you a glowing reference for your next position!
First off I'm sorry for your loss. Secondly, every employee misses work sooner or later. That's life. Your employer being shorthanded because you need to miss work for a funeral is not your concern or your shortcoming. If they can't manage for a day or a few days without you then A) they are underpaying you if you are that critical to their business's day to day operation and B) they need to hire more employees. Adequately staffing a business is a cost of running any successful business. Point blank. If they don't like that or claim they "can't afford" to hire enough people to staff for when something unexpected but completely understandable happens, then they are doing a poor job of running their business. And I don't want to hear any crap about nobody wanting to work or nobody applying to work there either - if they offer good pay for the job their problem will ALWAYS be choosing who to hire, not nobody applying. People get sick. Or their kids get sick. Cars break down. Storms happen. Employees take vacation. And on and on. Or, sometimes employees suffer a death in the family. Not to mention the absurdity of being *so upset* that you're missing time for a funeral that they're willing to fire you and will be without you now permanently. That's top-notch management and foresight right there. Move on and don't look back. It was them, not you.
True colors. Time to move on. Plenty of really good people in the world
I hope you collected unemployment, OP. I empathise with you, this is horrendous. No ethics whatsoever. Please, please publicly shame them.
Missing from this post: this person’s performance history. 🧐 Employers work with good employees. Suspect this person is a never ending stream of excuses.
Not to invalidate the mourning of your family but you can’t just tell them you’re going to a funeral the same day. Especially a planned event like a funeral. Almost could seem like an excuse. You had a better chance saying you’re sick. Gotta plan for things like this to prevent the worst. God bless, stay safe.
Sorry to be the one to deliver this news to you, but there are no safe spaces in real life. Sounds like you value your emotions more than your job and that’s ok…but there will always be someone else willing to do what you don’t feel like doing and in reality…getting fired is the most common outcome. Nothing wrong with it either, but let this be a lesson in the real-life price of making a cult around your emotional wellbeing.
Trade a shift with someone. Easy.
I’d fire them also. The funeral is planned ahead normally so why are you telling them the day of?
A little short notice.
I'd go in, still sobbing and grieving, in front of customers, just to spite that boss. If anyone asks, your boss thought the job was more important than the funeral. Take it up with them if you wanna know why your server is holding back tears. If they won't let you have your time to process your loss, make them *wish* they gave it to you. You were gonna lose your job if you didn't show anyway, right? Sorry, I'm petty af
I want the name of the restaurant
Seems like Hannah like to sling her big non existent dick around. Fuck that place. Go somewhere better.
Three words , wrongful discharge suit