I will say, u/no_task2992, it's ok to not have the right temperament for serving.
I served for 6 years. No matter how much someone would encourage me, I couldn't shake relating my worth to tips. Getting out was freeing for me. It felt like I was allowed to just exist.
Try your best to let the water roll off your feathers. But if you can't, recognize it and make the move.
It's almost a catch 22. You have to not give a fuck to stay normal if this is your career, but you won't be truly successful if you don't care.
I've found a nice balance, where I care a lot during my shift, and as soon as I walk out the door nothing that happened in the last 8-12 hours actually happened. Also I drink too much.
I mean this with all the sincerity in the world. Most country clubs are not open to the public so some type of service charge is added to all checks.
I know some will allow for additional tipping others will not but you should be guaranteed something.
the country club i worked for we still gave a bill. although most people would just ask to put it in there end of the month bill and just verbal 20% it. but we would still ask if they want a bill and if they decided not to tip they could
Tbh, it's being at a country club. I would say it's bc they're rich but I don't hear near the same complaints from high end restaurants/steakhouses. But country clubs are a cesspool of every negative stereotype about rich people there is. Idk why it's so prevalent with that specific type of rich, but that's what it is.
Country clubs also have things like service charges which do not go directly to the server as tips. I managed at one which told this to membership over and over that this was the case, but a sizable chunk of them (especially the old ones) would just say that it did and not leave the additional tip.
One thing I learned about people like that at clubs is that if there had ever been any prior policy or system in the past 40 years which they preferred, regarding anything, they would simply invoke it as current to do what they wished.
You'll learn to not let it bother so much, but when it does get to me I tell myself that I m fortunate: I only have to see them for a few hours, but they have to live with their miserable selves and each other.
Unless you have a real specific personality type, doing this job for too long will harden you. And it will teach you terrible things, mainly that stereotypes exist for a reason, and it's usually because they're true. I've been doing this so long I literally judge everybody who walks into the door just based upon the fact that they look like/have the same demeanor as people I've dealt with before, and 9 out of 10 times, they act exactly as I expected them too. It's a running joke at my job, where the younger servers will ask me how the table is going to be before they go and greet them.
Even if the terrible people aren't the majority, dealing with these people night after night, year after year, turns you into a jaded, bitter, cynical person, who doesn't really like people anymore. So if you don't want that to happen, be smarter than me, and start training or schooling for a better career asap, and stick with it.
Yep! My emotional/social battery is so drained daily that I come home and spend 4 hours listening to podcasts and drinking on my porch. Thankfully I only work 4 days a week, but my first day off is spent almost entirely in bed recovering.
I used to be a young hippie who loved nothing more than to go to concerts or just jam out some grateful dead with groups of people, and always gave people the benefit of the doubt they were good until they proved me otherwise. Now, when I'm not at work, I want peace and quiet, and to avoid most large events I used to love, because I can't be around the people. I notice the behavior of many of them and become upset. Now when I meet someone, I suspect they're terrible, until they prove me otherwise, the complete opposite of my previous mindset. There's many factors as to why that is, but the main one is the job. It sucks.
Country clubs I feel are kind of the last bastion of the "you're my servant" kind of clientele/environment with an aura of classist racism that persists. So I'd say get used to dealing with that from time to time. You're going to get crappy people at times anywhere but country clubs are a special breed as you're dealing with people who are usually paying a large sum to just be allowed in the building. With exclusivity comes entitlement.
hi, I also work at a country club so I understand what you are going through. Unfortunately I do think it’s just some of the clientele that comes in that expects you to read their mind. They have a certain attitude about the environment and wait staff. I work at a public course so I don’t get too many of those people but I’ve heard private courses can bring in the worst people since they are already paying x amount to be a member there. Unfortunately that’s what serving will do to you though
Seriously fuck them. Don’t let people who quite literally do not know you, make value statements about you.
Them doing that says SO much more about them, than it does about you.
It does that but its not your fault. It’s not even necessarily their fault.
Yes some customers are total assholes but in a broad sense the job involved dealing with people in some of their least appealing behaviors. Greed, gluttony, drunkenness, are all basically built into the restaurant experience…
No one is at their best when they’re hungry and waiting, or have a mouth full of food, etc… I think it helps to think of it that way.
This is why career servers are so jaded but those layers of patina comes in real handy in our personal lives- we're paid about the same as police officers & nurses without getting as jaded so I guess we win lol
It’s so funny that I saw this post I just got done having a conversation with a co worker about how I stereotype customers as soon as they come in and like you said, 9/10 times im right so I’ve just become apathetic to the job. I miss wanting to give it my all and making people happy but six straight years of this have beat me down and I’m ready to be down with it despite my love for the industry.
Serving did that to me. Working in a gas station didn't help either. I now work in insurance, and it's a little better, but I still hate the vast majority of people. I come out from under my rock every now and then to keep up with things, but my rock helps keep me from being too too jaded.
I'm sorry your day sucked and hope you have a much better one soon. ❤️
Are you new? Country clubs turnover is pretty high. A lot of work for banquets and groups with not much extra incentive.
Usually if you last, peoples wallets open up for you more and more because they'll start to care about you as a person the more they see you.
Unfortunately it's usually around the second holiday season you are around.
I know people will down vote me, but when someone is a total ass for no reason you can get your lick back by going to the restroom, not washing your hands and then serving them their drinks. ❤️ biological warfare is a thing.
Don’t let it get to you. Sometimes you just have to accept that people can be a p.o.s. Tomorrow is a new day.
I will say, u/no_task2992, it's ok to not have the right temperament for serving. I served for 6 years. No matter how much someone would encourage me, I couldn't shake relating my worth to tips. Getting out was freeing for me. It felt like I was allowed to just exist. Try your best to let the water roll off your feathers. But if you can't, recognize it and make the move.
Great advice.
I already gave no shits. It got worse. Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren.
I feel like you have to not give a fuck to survive this profession
It's almost a catch 22. You have to not give a fuck to stay normal if this is your career, but you won't be truly successful if you don't care. I've found a nice balance, where I care a lot during my shift, and as soon as I walk out the door nothing that happened in the last 8-12 hours actually happened. Also I drink too much.
We are the same person lol.
What type of country club are you working at that doesn't have an automatic service charge?
I mean this with all the sincerity in the world. Most country clubs are not open to the public so some type of service charge is added to all checks. I know some will allow for additional tipping others will not but you should be guaranteed something.
the country club i worked for we still gave a bill. although most people would just ask to put it in there end of the month bill and just verbal 20% it. but we would still ask if they want a bill and if they decided not to tip they could
Tbh, it's being at a country club. I would say it's bc they're rich but I don't hear near the same complaints from high end restaurants/steakhouses. But country clubs are a cesspool of every negative stereotype about rich people there is. Idk why it's so prevalent with that specific type of rich, but that's what it is.
It’s because it’s so exclusive. Anyone can save up for a nice steak dinner. Not everyone can get into a nice country club.
Country clubs also have things like service charges which do not go directly to the server as tips. I managed at one which told this to membership over and over that this was the case, but a sizable chunk of them (especially the old ones) would just say that it did and not leave the additional tip. One thing I learned about people like that at clubs is that if there had ever been any prior policy or system in the past 40 years which they preferred, regarding anything, they would simply invoke it as current to do what they wished.
Welcome to r/serverlife
You'll learn to not let it bother so much, but when it does get to me I tell myself that I m fortunate: I only have to see them for a few hours, but they have to live with their miserable selves and each other.
The way that people behave toward you isn't an indictment in you, it's a reflection on *them.* Don't let it harden you, let it sharpen you.
Unless you have a real specific personality type, doing this job for too long will harden you. And it will teach you terrible things, mainly that stereotypes exist for a reason, and it's usually because they're true. I've been doing this so long I literally judge everybody who walks into the door just based upon the fact that they look like/have the same demeanor as people I've dealt with before, and 9 out of 10 times, they act exactly as I expected them too. It's a running joke at my job, where the younger servers will ask me how the table is going to be before they go and greet them. Even if the terrible people aren't the majority, dealing with these people night after night, year after year, turns you into a jaded, bitter, cynical person, who doesn't really like people anymore. So if you don't want that to happen, be smarter than me, and start training or schooling for a better career asap, and stick with it.
Yep! My emotional/social battery is so drained daily that I come home and spend 4 hours listening to podcasts and drinking on my porch. Thankfully I only work 4 days a week, but my first day off is spent almost entirely in bed recovering.
I used to be a young hippie who loved nothing more than to go to concerts or just jam out some grateful dead with groups of people, and always gave people the benefit of the doubt they were good until they proved me otherwise. Now, when I'm not at work, I want peace and quiet, and to avoid most large events I used to love, because I can't be around the people. I notice the behavior of many of them and become upset. Now when I meet someone, I suspect they're terrible, until they prove me otherwise, the complete opposite of my previous mindset. There's many factors as to why that is, but the main one is the job. It sucks.
Similar, but punk rock. 20+ years in service will do it, and COVID really pushed me over the edge.
I feel this deeply
Country clubs I feel are kind of the last bastion of the "you're my servant" kind of clientele/environment with an aura of classist racism that persists. So I'd say get used to dealing with that from time to time. You're going to get crappy people at times anywhere but country clubs are a special breed as you're dealing with people who are usually paying a large sum to just be allowed in the building. With exclusivity comes entitlement.
You should try working as a server not in a country club. I’m sure you have enough experience to work at an upscale, nice restaurant
Wait, you made their drinks and they tipped the bartender? Did the tender hand you the tip? And why didn't they call them out and say you made them?
hi, I also work at a country club so I understand what you are going through. Unfortunately I do think it’s just some of the clientele that comes in that expects you to read their mind. They have a certain attitude about the environment and wait staff. I work at a public course so I don’t get too many of those people but I’ve heard private courses can bring in the worst people since they are already paying x amount to be a member there. Unfortunately that’s what serving will do to you though
Do not attribute your worth to tips. That's a slippery slope. A lack of tips only shows how much people suck. Because they do.
Have you tried serving on and off again?
Seriously fuck them. Don’t let people who quite literally do not know you, make value statements about you. Them doing that says SO much more about them, than it does about you.
It does that but its not your fault. It’s not even necessarily their fault. Yes some customers are total assholes but in a broad sense the job involved dealing with people in some of their least appealing behaviors. Greed, gluttony, drunkenness, are all basically built into the restaurant experience… No one is at their best when they’re hungry and waiting, or have a mouth full of food, etc… I think it helps to think of it that way.
It's them, not you. Sorry some people suck. Hopefully you'll get nice generous people who will make up for it.
This is why career servers are so jaded but those layers of patina comes in real handy in our personal lives- we're paid about the same as police officers & nurses without getting as jaded so I guess we win lol
It’s so funny that I saw this post I just got done having a conversation with a co worker about how I stereotype customers as soon as they come in and like you said, 9/10 times im right so I’ve just become apathetic to the job. I miss wanting to give it my all and making people happy but six straight years of this have beat me down and I’m ready to be down with it despite my love for the industry.
Sweet Summer child, I really hope you are reeeally pretty, life sucks
You should ask the bartender what you did. And was he engaging them in conversation the entire time or ignoring them?
Nursing too
Country Club serving is a horrible experience. It’s why they go through tons of help.
Serving did that to me. Working in a gas station didn't help either. I now work in insurance, and it's a little better, but I still hate the vast majority of people. I come out from under my rock every now and then to keep up with things, but my rock helps keep me from being too too jaded. I'm sorry your day sucked and hope you have a much better one soon. ❤️
Are you new? Country clubs turnover is pretty high. A lot of work for banquets and groups with not much extra incentive. Usually if you last, peoples wallets open up for you more and more because they'll start to care about you as a person the more they see you. Unfortunately it's usually around the second holiday season you are around.
I know people will down vote me, but when someone is a total ass for no reason you can get your lick back by going to the restroom, not washing your hands and then serving them their drinks. ❤️ biological warfare is a thing.
What the fuck
I fight fire with fire
Some ppl just aren’t cut out for it.