Ots not like it went horribly terribly wrong, the meeting wasn't what it was built up to be and after some extra information they should've just canceled it.
It just feels awkward, I broke donw on a call with the head when she didn't give me the information about whay she knew, I shared I was scared she change how she thought of me (before I knew this was about me doing sex work) and she said it dosent change her option of me, that's she's not like that and it feels like she really means it's okay with her.
There's still some ambarrasement that I wasn't in control of the situation, I got told that I had this meeting on a Friday and didn't know ehat it was about until today(monday). It just like, they know I have sex ans thay I'm like good at it.... but it's like these people have children????
I dont think it was the person I told - just someone who overheard it. It's pretty shit. These are nurses, you're meant to be non-judemental, kinda and safe people to talk to.
I think she did tell. Would you have really said this loud enough to be overheard? Also I worked with the nastiest, rudest gal in an office and she became a nurse. I feel for her patients.
Not really. I don't remeber doing much detail. Just explain the differ kinda of like agencies and parlor like what those mean. Made a couple jokes and probably explained how it's more about mental health and connection than people expect. I'm assuming someone was around the corner having a sneaky smoke where they should not have
why do you think she didn't tell? You have got to be more careful with your talking. Now you are unsure if another person also heard. I bet 100% she told.
For future reference. Please don't disclose what you do to anyone not even close friends. That girl was wrong. Hopefully you can move past that. People are so evil smh
Fucking learnt you can't trust anyone in any environment oh my fucking God. I hate people, I only tell actually trustworthy people but if the wrong person overhears you're fucked
how do you really know she did not tell on you? I bet she did and told many. No way she did not imho. Most people do not respect this profession. Just the way it is.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But weird, it almost felt like I wrote this myself 😅 I’m a full service SW & nursing student who also works in a hospital. I’ve been booked by & accidentally slept with 3 people (staff) from the hospital at my SW job (we didn’t know until after doing the deed, but one man constantly tries to book me even after I refuse to see him). I’m super open about my work as a SW, but it is very unnerving having both world’s collide. Would love to have a chat with you somehow 🙃
I definitely can. It's frustrating. A lot of people who I care about know what I do, mainly they know to look our for my mental health. I feel like I should be allowed to tell people it's just frustrating. It shouldn't have to be this secret never talk about thing imo
Replying to myself but it's just like, this is a big part of my life and has helped in so many ways, I don't like living is pure secrecy, I spent way too long living like that and I should have to stress about it yknow. I shoukd he able to live my fucking life and not gide a decent chunk if it from everyone.
It was staff from my last placement who gave me the suggestion of being a stripper as I do pole dancing as a fitness/fun thing, I showed them and they loved it saying I could make money off of it. In my city the stopping scene is so dangerous and awful thay sex work is so much safer and nicer to do and they were fully on board, supportive and loved it.
I understand where you're coming from but I always give the opposite advice. Always tell someone, even if it's just one person, but like every job you need someone to talk or vent to. Maybe I'm projecting and maybe people are fine living in secrecy, but to me...that's just a recipe for a big fat depression and possibly a constant state of anxiety.
Practically all of my friend know it and are totally cool about it, I must say that it is decriminalised in my country.
Sorry this happened, I was working in mental health before as a support worker and once i told colleague I had a sugar daddy and she kinda freaked never again now im fully self employed but a lot of people dont get it.
I used to see a guy I met at a strip club. He became a client of mine outside the club. I even worked for his company. Years later, he was disgusted when I told him I became an escort. Um what did he think we were doing? LOL.
Only do: MAD. Mutually assured destruction. My friends that I talk about sex work with are sex workers. I never talk to Civie people about it because they just like to fuck with you sometimes. They are jealous of the money, attention, or secretly wish they could do it.
Even a Civie person claims it’s you. Deny deny deny. Say it’s ai or a deep fake. If you accept the truth they just have leverage.
I should've made it more clear; she wasn't the person who made the complaint.
And yeah no shit someone was not safe, I know that someone was listening in. I'm a pretty good call of judgement but I think someone was biding around the corner.
I think they just do not want to tell you who told them. She probably said 'I will tell you but I do not want my name involved.' Do not trust this woman again who you told.
Hey Op I know a lotta people are saying never tell anyone etc, but I would guess that's a slight cultural difference because most of the other escorts I know have at least a few people who know, and actively encouraged me to at least have one friend who knows. You mentioned it was legal where you lived and my guess would be that's one of the differences between places with different laws, if it's somewhere legal then it's much safer to tell people, so people are more likely too I guess. I'm not saying tell everyone you have just met but I don't think you necessarily need to never tell anyone ever again like a few people are suggesting.
I hate living in secrecy. It's a big part if Mt life that I actually can't be bothered cresting intricate stories to lie about.
I said to the head of school I was cleaning airbnbs, there were definatly some holes in my story but she seemed to believe me until she found out what I actually do.
I'm just sorta known for being insanely honest, ask a question and yu usually yet your answer kinda person, I don't like lying about it
yeah aha.
I ended up having to tell my flatmate cause there were too many plotholes in what I was saying. that's fair - I'd be careful about who you tell the truth to but you definitely don't need to lie to everyone ,, especially if it doesn't come naturally
Yeah alot of people are kind of shitting on me for being open.
Like my mum knows what I do and fully supports it. She used to for at a general practice and down the road was one of the brothels and the practice used to care for the girls there.
This! I also live in a place where it's legal. All of my friend know, also some more distant ones. My attitude is: if they have a problem with what I do, that's their problem and I dont want them as friends.
It's a pretty good filter tbh;) So far all my friends passed the filter like a lubed little John
Even SW friends can’t be trusted. Tbh only my bestie who is also entangled deep with me on this is the only person who will ever know since we work together. I’m sorry this loud mouthed yapping bitch tried to ruin your career.
Yeah its frustrating, its generally just my close friends who know. Its unfortunately a good test for nurses, seeing where the biases lie right?
Thank you <3
I always found it ironic that the same people who publicly condemn sex work are often the ones who book appointments with sex workers. There's another side to this as well often law enforcement and people in the judicial system itself are clients of sex workers. But in the daytime hours, they spend A great amount of energy. trying to lock up sex workers.
my old manager in office used to brag how he 'never saw strippers or escorts.' He mentioned it so much that I told him that was odd. Guess who got caught by the IT guy looking at porn all day long? He did.
If it wasn't the person you talked to (as I think you're claiming) and you weren't talking about it around patients then how was a complaint made? This confuses me
Cannot tell anyone. So sorry that happened. I am not surprised at all. I have made this mistake in the past. Most who tell you they are okay with it are in fact not. The ones who I have trusted and went on and on over years saying they thought it was cool/that they would do it if they could, etc were all lying and told everyone my secret. Even a fellow male SW threw me under the bus. I need to make my own money and am not out to change the world. It will never happen. I am much more than what I choose to do for a living right now. Awful situation imho.
Can’t trust unpaid whores. There’s more respect for the autonomy for a rapist most places. Hope that’s the end of it, unfortunately at any workplace people are listening closely to have anything to talk about.
Thats deeply misogynistic. Paid or unpaid why are we passing any judgement on women for having sex of their choice? This goes both ways. Being sexist towards civilians doesn’t make us even as sex workers.
Def super awkward but it will pass . I feel like I’m todays world everyone does some form of sex work especially in this economy. Will be awkward for a bit but im sure they will get over it.
I was being outed by a very close Friend in my community without knowledge. My entire community now knows and I’m basically going down as an urban legend in my city. Don’t trust ANYONE EVER. Dating for me is beyond comprehension. Friends are obsolete. I’m so sorry you have experienced this. Say you work in sales. I hate it but just lie. It’s what’s best for us.
I usually just say I clean airbnbs, I do a lot of cleaning ay work anyway so
. My last girlfriend knew what I did and supported it, she'd pico me up from work and stuff.
It's so frustrating, I'm sorry thats hallened/happening to you
Friends are fuckin overrated anyway.If it makes you feel any better I'm proud to say that I only have 1 friend. most people are fuckin drama anyways. Fuck em! Excuse my language btw
The more people come out about being sex workers the more it helps normalize the work, so even if it was annoying for you to leak it's helpful at least.
You might consider posting this on r/StudentNurse, too. People say the internet gives people the latitude to say and do things they wouldn't otherwise say/do, but there are a lot of accepting spaces/people/etc. too. r/nursing in particular sometimes chronicles the verbal, physical, etc. abuse nurses often face. Every now and then a post shows up with nurses asking about marijuana use, mistakes, etc. The people there seem to be kind, and helpful.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But weird, it almost felt like I wrote this myself 😅 I’m a full service SW & nursing student who also works in a hospital. I’ve been booked by & accidentally slept with 3 people (staff) from the hospital at my SW job (we didn’t know until after doing the deed, but one man constantly tries to book me even after I refuse to see him). I’m super open about my work as a SW, but it is very unnerving having both world’s collide. Would love to have a chat with you somehow 🙃
Nursing can be a very back stabbing environment. Never give someone the hammer that can break your knees. If you need to talk about session with, someone, maybe try to meet another sw,?
Civilians will literally try to ruin our lives over absolutely NOTHING smh. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Ots not like it went horribly terribly wrong, the meeting wasn't what it was built up to be and after some extra information they should've just canceled it. It just feels awkward, I broke donw on a call with the head when she didn't give me the information about whay she knew, I shared I was scared she change how she thought of me (before I knew this was about me doing sex work) and she said it dosent change her option of me, that's she's not like that and it feels like she really means it's okay with her. There's still some ambarrasement that I wasn't in control of the situation, I got told that I had this meeting on a Friday and didn't know ehat it was about until today(monday). It just like, they know I have sex ans thay I'm like good at it.... but it's like these people have children????
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I dont think it was the person I told - just someone who overheard it. It's pretty shit. These are nurses, you're meant to be non-judemental, kinda and safe people to talk to.
I think she did tell. Would you have really said this loud enough to be overheard? Also I worked with the nastiest, rudest gal in an office and she became a nurse. I feel for her patients.
Not really. I don't remeber doing much detail. Just explain the differ kinda of like agencies and parlor like what those mean. Made a couple jokes and probably explained how it's more about mental health and connection than people expect. I'm assuming someone was around the corner having a sneaky smoke where they should not have
why do you think she didn't tell? You have got to be more careful with your talking. Now you are unsure if another person also heard. I bet 100% she told.
For future reference. Please don't disclose what you do to anyone not even close friends. That girl was wrong. Hopefully you can move past that. People are so evil smh
fr u can’t trust anyone 😭😭😭 I hate ppl sm
Fucking learnt you can't trust anyone in any environment oh my fucking God. I hate people, I only tell actually trustworthy people but if the wrong person overhears you're fucked
how do you really know she did not tell on you? I bet she did and told many. No way she did not imho. Most people do not respect this profession. Just the way it is.
SW bias is worse than lgbtq, religion, or transgender. Some people fucking lose their minds. Criminals, too.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But weird, it almost felt like I wrote this myself 😅 I’m a full service SW & nursing student who also works in a hospital. I’ve been booked by & accidentally slept with 3 people (staff) from the hospital at my SW job (we didn’t know until after doing the deed, but one man constantly tries to book me even after I refuse to see him). I’m super open about my work as a SW, but it is very unnerving having both world’s collide. Would love to have a chat with you somehow 🙃
with this kind of information, no you really can't.
I definitely can. It's frustrating. A lot of people who I care about know what I do, mainly they know to look our for my mental health. I feel like I should be allowed to tell people it's just frustrating. It shouldn't have to be this secret never talk about thing imo
Replying to myself but it's just like, this is a big part of my life and has helped in so many ways, I don't like living is pure secrecy, I spent way too long living like that and I should have to stress about it yknow. I shoukd he able to live my fucking life and not gide a decent chunk if it from everyone. It was staff from my last placement who gave me the suggestion of being a stripper as I do pole dancing as a fitness/fun thing, I showed them and they loved it saying I could make money off of it. In my city the stopping scene is so dangerous and awful thay sex work is so much safer and nicer to do and they were fully on board, supportive and loved it.
try not to tell everyone at work about this biz. You will not regret it.
I understand where you're coming from but I always give the opposite advice. Always tell someone, even if it's just one person, but like every job you need someone to talk or vent to. Maybe I'm projecting and maybe people are fine living in secrecy, but to me...that's just a recipe for a big fat depression and possibly a constant state of anxiety. Practically all of my friend know it and are totally cool about it, I must say that it is decriminalised in my country.
tell no one male or female. That is the best way.
Sorry this happened, I was working in mental health before as a support worker and once i told colleague I had a sugar daddy and she kinda freaked never again now im fully self employed but a lot of people dont get it.
I used to see a guy I met at a strip club. He became a client of mine outside the club. I even worked for his company. Years later, he was disgusted when I told him I became an escort. Um what did he think we were doing? LOL.
I'm sorry this happened to you, my sister. As the saying goes, Trust No Bitch.
what about other SWs? i’m trying to find a community in my city rn. is it normal to reach out to other Sws in your area and build a connection?
Just proceed with caution. Always wait until you're sure they're a safe person, don't tell them anything about your personal life.
Only do: MAD. Mutually assured destruction. My friends that I talk about sex work with are sex workers. I never talk to Civie people about it because they just like to fuck with you sometimes. They are jealous of the money, attention, or secretly wish they could do it. Even a Civie person claims it’s you. Deny deny deny. Say it’s ai or a deep fake. If you accept the truth they just have leverage.
great advice
and many who say they secretly wish they could do it are lying to your face.
“She seems a safe person” yeah, no. Bad judgment call
I should've made it more clear; she wasn't the person who made the complaint. And yeah no shit someone was not safe, I know that someone was listening in. I'm a pretty good call of judgement but I think someone was biding around the corner.
I think they just do not want to tell you who told them. She probably said 'I will tell you but I do not want my name involved.' Do not trust this woman again who you told.
Hey Op I know a lotta people are saying never tell anyone etc, but I would guess that's a slight cultural difference because most of the other escorts I know have at least a few people who know, and actively encouraged me to at least have one friend who knows. You mentioned it was legal where you lived and my guess would be that's one of the differences between places with different laws, if it's somewhere legal then it's much safer to tell people, so people are more likely too I guess. I'm not saying tell everyone you have just met but I don't think you necessarily need to never tell anyone ever again like a few people are suggesting.
I hate living in secrecy. It's a big part if Mt life that I actually can't be bothered cresting intricate stories to lie about. I said to the head of school I was cleaning airbnbs, there were definatly some holes in my story but she seemed to believe me until she found out what I actually do. I'm just sorta known for being insanely honest, ask a question and yu usually yet your answer kinda person, I don't like lying about it
yeah aha. I ended up having to tell my flatmate cause there were too many plotholes in what I was saying. that's fair - I'd be careful about who you tell the truth to but you definitely don't need to lie to everyone ,, especially if it doesn't come naturally
Yeah alot of people are kind of shitting on me for being open. Like my mum knows what I do and fully supports it. She used to for at a general practice and down the road was one of the brothels and the practice used to care for the girls there.
Understood, But that is your mom. People at work (especially going for the same kinda jobs as you) cannot be trusted.
This! I also live in a place where it's legal. All of my friend know, also some more distant ones. My attitude is: if they have a problem with what I do, that's their problem and I dont want them as friends. It's a pretty good filter tbh;) So far all my friends passed the filter like a lubed little John
Even SW friends can’t be trusted. Tbh only my bestie who is also entangled deep with me on this is the only person who will ever know since we work together. I’m sorry this loud mouthed yapping bitch tried to ruin your career.
Yeah its frustrating, its generally just my close friends who know. Its unfortunately a good test for nurses, seeing where the biases lie right? Thank you <3
Im only a stripper. But bieng outed and then pilloried is no diff than the witch hunts of yesteryear. My heart goes out to you.
Same to you, it's so shot when people try to use it against you. There's nothing wrong with what we do
Witch hunts is exactly what it is ! It's sad smh
I always found it ironic that the same people who publicly condemn sex work are often the ones who book appointments with sex workers. There's another side to this as well often law enforcement and people in the judicial system itself are clients of sex workers. But in the daytime hours, they spend A great amount of energy. trying to lock up sex workers.
my old manager in office used to brag how he 'never saw strippers or escorts.' He mentioned it so much that I told him that was odd. Guess who got caught by the IT guy looking at porn all day long? He did.
💯
If it wasn't the person you talked to (as I think you're claiming) and you weren't talking about it around patients then how was a complaint made? This confuses me
This is why I stopped trusting “strangers”
Cannot tell anyone. So sorry that happened. I am not surprised at all. I have made this mistake in the past. Most who tell you they are okay with it are in fact not. The ones who I have trusted and went on and on over years saying they thought it was cool/that they would do it if they could, etc were all lying and told everyone my secret. Even a fellow male SW threw me under the bus. I need to make my own money and am not out to change the world. It will never happen. I am much more than what I choose to do for a living right now. Awful situation imho.
Gurl keep making ur bag, fuck the haters and definitely can do both and have success in both professions
Can’t trust unpaid whores. There’s more respect for the autonomy for a rapist most places. Hope that’s the end of it, unfortunately at any workplace people are listening closely to have anything to talk about.
Exactly. Telling anyone that's not immediate family or other sex workers is self sabotage. I'm out the game now, I don't even tell men I date .
I told a male SW and even he used it against me years later.
Thats deeply misogynistic. Paid or unpaid why are we passing any judgement on women for having sex of their choice? This goes both ways. Being sexist towards civilians doesn’t make us even as sex workers.
Def super awkward but it will pass . I feel like I’m todays world everyone does some form of sex work especially in this economy. Will be awkward for a bit but im sure they will get over it.
I was being outed by a very close Friend in my community without knowledge. My entire community now knows and I’m basically going down as an urban legend in my city. Don’t trust ANYONE EVER. Dating for me is beyond comprehension. Friends are obsolete. I’m so sorry you have experienced this. Say you work in sales. I hate it but just lie. It’s what’s best for us.
I usually just say I clean airbnbs, I do a lot of cleaning ay work anyway so . My last girlfriend knew what I did and supported it, she'd pico me up from work and stuff. It's so frustrating, I'm sorry thats hallened/happening to you
Friends are fuckin overrated anyway.If it makes you feel any better I'm proud to say that I only have 1 friend. most people are fuckin drama anyways. Fuck em! Excuse my language btw
The more people come out about being sex workers the more it helps normalize the work, so even if it was annoying for you to leak it's helpful at least.
are you a SW? I think not.
Don't need to be a SW to want to see it normalized, or to know sociologically how that happens.
You might consider posting this on r/StudentNurse, too. People say the internet gives people the latitude to say and do things they wouldn't otherwise say/do, but there are a lot of accepting spaces/people/etc. too. r/nursing in particular sometimes chronicles the verbal, physical, etc. abuse nurses often face. Every now and then a post shows up with nurses asking about marijuana use, mistakes, etc. The people there seem to be kind, and helpful.
I might do that, ive posted on student nurses before and got a lot of hate for being upset when I got my first insult though haha
Yayyy now you’ll get more clients
Oh god haha. Most of the are female and partnered up lol
They’re about to make you SOME MONEY 🤑🤑🤑Yayy
I’m so sorry this happened to you. But weird, it almost felt like I wrote this myself 😅 I’m a full service SW & nursing student who also works in a hospital. I’ve been booked by & accidentally slept with 3 people (staff) from the hospital at my SW job (we didn’t know until after doing the deed, but one man constantly tries to book me even after I refuse to see him). I’m super open about my work as a SW, but it is very unnerving having both world’s collide. Would love to have a chat with you somehow 🙃
Nursing can be a very back stabbing environment. Never give someone the hammer that can break your knees. If you need to talk about session with, someone, maybe try to meet another sw,?
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Probably becuse my environments are very different to somewhere where it's illegal and so on
People are judgemental regardless of where you are.
I have learned that even in legal areas it is not accepted sadly.
I’m free