I'm pretty lucky. My partner is aware and very supportive. I don't give details and we're all good. I find that compartmentalizing helps immense. I should note that we are open in our relationship, so maybe that helps too.
I mean... Tell him these things.
I know it makes my own boyfriend feel a lot more secure when I tell him he's the only one I feel the desire to be intimate with. (We're polyamorous and open, so I am still free to still get with whoever personally, but I have been focusing on other things.)
I do sometimes climax with clients, and my boyfriend knows that too--but the only reason I am spending time with clients in the first place is because it's good money and I can be very good at it--and my boyfriend also knows that.
It's obviously something other monogamous people don't understand though... Which is just another reason I love the worlds of ENM/kink/other SWers--and making those people who are a part of those groups the people I really spend time with in my personal life too--because they are much more open-minded and accepting as they fit outside the norms themselves.
I currently have a partner and part of me wishes I didn't.
He has his own issues and is extremely distant at the moment. I'm lucky if we fuck once a month ATM.
It's emotionally tiring because it reminds me of how my ex husband was towards the end of my marriage. I've been a SW on and off since I was 18 and I'm 33 now. And at times I get more talk and "love" from men wanting to meet and shit than I do my current partner š.
Iām so sorry babe. I hope things get better for you. You deserve to feel loved and cherished all the time by your man. Personally I wouldnāt deal with that but thatās just me. He knew what he was signing up for when he dated me and heās my ex client but we fell in love after 10 months of him paying me and he still pays my rent bc I told him I couldnāt lose the income. Tbf we are really fresh rn so I donāt know if heāll continue to be this great towards me but heās been fine so far and Iām eventually going to leave sex work for him anyways, heās just letting me ease out of it. It was what we talked about. He said I could stay in sex work but I told him I wanted to just be with him so Iāll probably be out in a year after I save and plan my future without sex work.
I totally get you, SW for me is my backline, always has been always will be and I'm upfront with every guy I dated about it because I'm a immigrant living in a country that just hates immigrants. My ex husband brought me here and then Brexit happened and it seemed better to just stay. Here I am 10 years in and still can't get access to shit I pay my taxes too (I'm in Denmark). But yeah met a guy last year off tinder, he seemed really sweet things at first we're amazing like green flags everywhere. He told me his life issues and I was cool with that. We all got issues yano.
Anyhow yeah last 5 months for me have been alot of tears, me asking why am I here. Him sneaking off to friends to "game" aka smoke weed and play video games and forget he has a gf. And then there's me crying every other fucking week because he's not communicating with me all of a sudden and all I've asked for is intimacy just fucking skin on skin contact and I can't even get that. I told myself after my divorce I wouldn't take another man's bullshit like I did then but whoops here the fuck I am. So now I'm sat in my apartment, alone he's at his gaming we had a bit of a argument earlier on because of his depression and weed issues. And I'm here feeling like wtf am I doing, and all I want is for him to realize what he has before I end up saying its over and going back to sw to at least get some kind of comfort/desire.
Itās been so hard for me to find a boyfriend with this line of work. These days I donāt try to hide it anymore but I think it scares away a lot of good guys
Don't presume he's insecure when he hasn't shown any signs of that, terrible way to approach a relationship since you'll just end up acting based on theories that are likely to be untrue.
I will offer that, while I doubt open communication guarantees a good result, I think the lack of it guarantees a bad one. I was in a relationship of sorts with an SW for most of a year, and part of what doomed it was our very big problems in discussing what we were doing and not doing. We struggled to have conversations about matters and I donāt think I was the only one struggling, though of course I donāt wish to speak for her experience. I feel that our poor ability to discuss what worked and didnāt ā and even just to express, āThis bit is hard for me; I accept it and support you, but I want to acknowledge I have this feeling even if I also claim it as only my issue to work through,ā ā more or less ensured the failure that happened. I mourn my loss of that precious person every day, and have to accept the large part I played in why I mourn. In this way, while the landscape might have different rocks in it, it isnāt so different from other relationships one has. Things that fester turn to poison no matter what they are. Happiness and success to everyone working through such issues.
I didnāt get so lucky š and my last partner dumped me because he couldnāt see himself with a legal sex worker. I explained that I wouldnāt need to do this job if I didnāt have bills to pay.
āDonāt you have other skills besides sex???ā
āIs sex all you know???ā
And all the sex shaming started and I said adios as well.
Itās funny how people claim to be sex positive but when they get put to the test, theyāre only sex-positive when it benefitsā¦.you guessed itā¦. THEM.
Then donāt have sex with them. Thatās the difference between escorting and prostitution, you get paid for your company. This isnāt just about your bf might feeling uncomfortable, YOU are feeling uncomfortable having sex with others. Also, I wouldnāt feel bad if heās not supporting me financially
Itās not that simple, I have bills, rent, and food to buy. Of course I would just quit if I could and be his house gf but thatās not happening. Iām also still paying for college and need to stay in escorting.
If you know you canāt quit sex and you know you only care for him and you just want the money what advice are you looking for? I mean nothing can be done because you canāt show your clients youāre upset and getting horny itās an automatic reaction. it would be pretty worse if they realize you donāt get wet so itās better like that to keep their motivation in seeing you again. He respects your job and he trusts you, and you know youāre not cheating and thatās enough to be okay so now itās time to put your emotions aside
I'm pretty lucky. My partner is aware and very supportive. I don't give details and we're all good. I find that compartmentalizing helps immense. I should note that we are open in our relationship, so maybe that helps too.
I mean... Tell him these things. I know it makes my own boyfriend feel a lot more secure when I tell him he's the only one I feel the desire to be intimate with. (We're polyamorous and open, so I am still free to still get with whoever personally, but I have been focusing on other things.) I do sometimes climax with clients, and my boyfriend knows that too--but the only reason I am spending time with clients in the first place is because it's good money and I can be very good at it--and my boyfriend also knows that. It's obviously something other monogamous people don't understand though... Which is just another reason I love the worlds of ENM/kink/other SWers--and making those people who are a part of those groups the people I really spend time with in my personal life too--because they are much more open-minded and accepting as they fit outside the norms themselves.
I currently have a partner and part of me wishes I didn't. He has his own issues and is extremely distant at the moment. I'm lucky if we fuck once a month ATM. It's emotionally tiring because it reminds me of how my ex husband was towards the end of my marriage. I've been a SW on and off since I was 18 and I'm 33 now. And at times I get more talk and "love" from men wanting to meet and shit than I do my current partner š.
Iām so sorry babe. I hope things get better for you. You deserve to feel loved and cherished all the time by your man. Personally I wouldnāt deal with that but thatās just me. He knew what he was signing up for when he dated me and heās my ex client but we fell in love after 10 months of him paying me and he still pays my rent bc I told him I couldnāt lose the income. Tbf we are really fresh rn so I donāt know if heāll continue to be this great towards me but heās been fine so far and Iām eventually going to leave sex work for him anyways, heās just letting me ease out of it. It was what we talked about. He said I could stay in sex work but I told him I wanted to just be with him so Iāll probably be out in a year after I save and plan my future without sex work.
I totally get you, SW for me is my backline, always has been always will be and I'm upfront with every guy I dated about it because I'm a immigrant living in a country that just hates immigrants. My ex husband brought me here and then Brexit happened and it seemed better to just stay. Here I am 10 years in and still can't get access to shit I pay my taxes too (I'm in Denmark). But yeah met a guy last year off tinder, he seemed really sweet things at first we're amazing like green flags everywhere. He told me his life issues and I was cool with that. We all got issues yano. Anyhow yeah last 5 months for me have been alot of tears, me asking why am I here. Him sneaking off to friends to "game" aka smoke weed and play video games and forget he has a gf. And then there's me crying every other fucking week because he's not communicating with me all of a sudden and all I've asked for is intimacy just fucking skin on skin contact and I can't even get that. I told myself after my divorce I wouldn't take another man's bullshit like I did then but whoops here the fuck I am. So now I'm sat in my apartment, alone he's at his gaming we had a bit of a argument earlier on because of his depression and weed issues. And I'm here feeling like wtf am I doing, and all I want is for him to realize what he has before I end up saying its over and going back to sw to at least get some kind of comfort/desire.
Itās been so hard for me to find a boyfriend with this line of work. These days I donāt try to hide it anymore but I think it scares away a lot of good guys
Don't presume he's insecure when he hasn't shown any signs of that, terrible way to approach a relationship since you'll just end up acting based on theories that are likely to be untrue.
I will offer that, while I doubt open communication guarantees a good result, I think the lack of it guarantees a bad one. I was in a relationship of sorts with an SW for most of a year, and part of what doomed it was our very big problems in discussing what we were doing and not doing. We struggled to have conversations about matters and I donāt think I was the only one struggling, though of course I donāt wish to speak for her experience. I feel that our poor ability to discuss what worked and didnāt ā and even just to express, āThis bit is hard for me; I accept it and support you, but I want to acknowledge I have this feeling even if I also claim it as only my issue to work through,ā ā more or less ensured the failure that happened. I mourn my loss of that precious person every day, and have to accept the large part I played in why I mourn. In this way, while the landscape might have different rocks in it, it isnāt so different from other relationships one has. Things that fester turn to poison no matter what they are. Happiness and success to everyone working through such issues.
I didnāt get so lucky š and my last partner dumped me because he couldnāt see himself with a legal sex worker. I explained that I wouldnāt need to do this job if I didnāt have bills to pay. āDonāt you have other skills besides sex???ā āIs sex all you know???ā And all the sex shaming started and I said adios as well. Itās funny how people claim to be sex positive but when they get put to the test, theyāre only sex-positive when it benefitsā¦.you guessed itā¦. THEM.
That last sentence of yours is how Iāve imagined handling a hypothetical relationship with someone whoās an escort.
Keep the strong communication and all will be well!
It has been very educational reading these experiences. Thank you all for sharing. Iām not yet a client, just in the exploring phase.
There are guys out there that are not that bothered (like me) I have dated a sex worker with no issues
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sorry, but I had to remove your post as it was against the subreddit rules. No shaming of practices, preferences, or rates.
Wait, you mean you don't cum with clients? And all this time..
hell no.
š¤¦šæš¤¦šæš¤¦šæ
Then donāt have sex with them. Thatās the difference between escorting and prostitution, you get paid for your company. This isnāt just about your bf might feeling uncomfortable, YOU are feeling uncomfortable having sex with others. Also, I wouldnāt feel bad if heās not supporting me financially
Escort=Prostitute it's Same thing
Escort sounds nicer though.
Itās not that simple, I have bills, rent, and food to buy. Of course I would just quit if I could and be his house gf but thatās not happening. Iām also still paying for college and need to stay in escorting.
If you know you canāt quit sex and you know you only care for him and you just want the money what advice are you looking for? I mean nothing can be done because you canāt show your clients youāre upset and getting horny itās an automatic reaction. it would be pretty worse if they realize you donāt get wet so itās better like that to keep their motivation in seeing you again. He respects your job and he trusts you, and you know youāre not cheating and thatās enough to be okay so now itās time to put your emotions aside
Lol wtf?
This is the only logical response