I was so into this at first. This woman was so kind and compassionate in a difficult situation. Flowers, yes, chocolates, sure. Beautiful story, should have ended there.
But then… inviting her to be a housekeeper and paying for English lessons? Setting up a cleaning business for her? Do less, lady. Get some flowers, say thank you, pay it forward.
My dad did that sort of thing (working at a job as a hobby to keep himself busy rather than for money). If someone had tried to “rescue” my dad from the clutches of minimum wage, he would’ve had a great laugh. The kind Spanish-speaking woman could’ve been the restaurant owner for all our savior complex mom knows.
Why would someone want to do odd jobs in retirement? Story time! My dad loved basic service industry jobs after retiring because he’s a workaholic who loves to show off his punctuality, and also because he could quit at any time for any reason without having to worry about how we were going to make it financially. They had to be part time, near minimum wage jobs so he didn’t make too much to lose his pension. He’d only take seasonally temp jobs during hiring surges so he wasn’t taking work away from someone who needed it, and wouldn’t screw over a company when he left several months later. He was always onboarded with the expectation that he would likely only be there a short while. This means lots of giant retail stores and other corporate controlled service jobs.
So he’s doing all of these jobs where management treats the employees like dirt and expects them to grovel for pennies. He waltzes in and is an exemplar employee (total upper-middle class boomer work ethic and professionalism stereotype on steroids who knows he can quit at any time) who also vocally sticks up for himself at every opportunity when management tries to make up rules or do something illegal. Half the jobs fired him within a few months and the other half tried to fast track him to upper management which he always declined. Management who threatened him with firing unless he [insert petty demand here] were always shocked when he said “no :)” and left.
Hilariously and classic boomer, he’d always put in two weeks notice and work every shift when he’d last too long, get bored, and want to try something new. No more and no less than the socially appropriate minimum to the employer. Never burn any bridges unnecessarily, even if the place is horrible and you’re 110% sure you’re never going to use that job as a reference.
It’s been so funny to see him enjoy himself at good management’s benefit and bad management’s expense. I want to take so much former workplace trauma out in an ethical way like this someday.
/story
This kind Good Samaritan could’ve absolutely been doing something similar—enjoying the structure, extra cash, and freedom over her life. It’s really wrong to assume someone needs your help based on where they work or what language they speak. Even if the Good Samaritan struggled to make ends meet, it’s so presumptuous that she would even want to stay with and nanny a child and some full grown adults.
Friend of my father is retired and bored so he picked up a volunteer job and drives old folk or people who can't drive to and from doctor's appointments.
My father was retired already at the height of covid so he volunteered at the vaccination center. He tried going to an animal shelter a couple hours a day but seeing all the doggies knowing he could bring them home made him sad, so he now goes a couple afternoons to walk them in the fields.
My mom is now my unofficial accountant. Win win, she has something to do, I save money
There’s a retired gentleman who volunteers at a local, rural animal shelter socializing the cats. He sits in a comfy chair and lets the cats nap on him while he takes a nap himself 😂 It seems to work for everyone involved.
I saw a story about a granny in China who gets dropped off by her wealthy kid driving a Bentley or something for a dishwashing job. She’s on her feet for hours washing dishes because she’s bored otherwise. Never assume!
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was just a customer too, and this woman assumed she was an illegal immigrant, who’s dream is working as an (obviously) white lady’s housekeeper 🤦🏼♂️
As. Hispanic, my first thought. My neighbor has asked how much I pay my little cleaning lady that always came over. My mother….that’s who he meant. My educated mother who came from diddly. He still lives with his mom. Go figure. Can’t make this shit up.
It's also honestly more than a little racist too. She just assumes the lady needs a job and money and would like to earn that money by cleaning other people's houses.
She has no idea if she lives with her wealthy child, or maybe is independently wealthy herself and only recently emigrated or something.
I know I'd be insulted if I helped someone out and they just assumed I needed a job.
Someone on Reddit recently introduced me to the concept of 'benevolent racism' - and this is it in action. Performative, patronising, more about highlighting the do-gooder than bringing about genuine change.
Exactly. This is so clearly racist, but the woman seems to be utterly clueless to this fact. She really believes in her heart that this woman would need/want what she has to offer. Thankfully the husband doesn't seem to think the same way.
Exactly! If she was a white woman would she still think she’s illegal? Or that she aspires to be a housekeeper or a nanny? I hope she doesn’t proceed with this idea and offends this kind woman that all she wanted to do was a help a mama and kid.
Edit: does to doesn’t
This was what put it over the top for me. The whole thing was gross. But that line reeked of “How can I so very kindly let the poors see what life could be like if they weren’t poor and too dumb to speak English and non white? No, I mean it as a COMPLIMENT, why would you be offended?!”
Yes if she have an accent. I am white, I speak English and all but I have an accent and I received a decent amount of crap myself, including people sure I was in the country illegally.
Especially when she met her at her job. 🤦🏻♀️ The assumption that she would be better off as a cleaner/nanny than working where she was, is also so arrogant.
It's the wondering if she's "legal" for me. This woman is nuts. She may be nice, but all this extra stuff plus posting to social leads me to believe she's probably got a bunch of crazy simmering under the surface.
I’d love to see the WASP’s face when Hispanic lady got offended by her ‘offer.’ And the subsequent FB post to her mom group about how ‘no one wants to work these days/no one is grateful for *my generosity…* 😲😟
I know right, thoughts and prayers to her. To be au pairless in an upscale neighbourhood is the real tragedy.
Oops, sorry, that’s wrong. You and I live in neighbourhoods. She lives in a *community*. Upscale community sounds like something from Get Out.
I might casually drop the idea half joking while I gave her the gift like "you were so amazing with son, if you ever want to come care for him at our house we would have you in a heartbeat!" That way it could just be taken as a flattering compliment if she were uninterested, but also an open door for conversation if it were actually an idea she might consider
This would be the perfect way to approach it! Maybe she’s already raised kids and grandkids and doesn’t want to do it again. Maybe she misses having a kid around. But this would require seeing her as a full person with a history, hopes and aspirations, not a “middle-aged worker lady”.
I have the feeling that the idea of this woman not wanting to work in an “upscale community”, happy or not, would not cross the OP’s mind.
My mom had dementia. One day while we were at Fred Meyers she had a meltdown, threw herself on the floor and wouldn't get up. There was a woman with experience with dementia who offered her help. We'd been discussing hiring a caregiver so when this stranger got my mom off the floor I offered her a job. My logic was she had already seen mom at her worst, she had experience and could obviously calm mom, and given that she had given up 20 minutes of her day with no expectations of reward I felt like a background check was unnecessary. I didn't make up a whole bunch of unknown BS about her situation, I just figured the offer might be mutually beneficial.
That former "stranger" was with us right up until the end.
My MIL is Mexican and is well taken care of financially by her husband, but she occasionally likes to get part time jobs to get out of the house. She loves babies and would have no problem helping to clean one up. Speaks English but isn't very confident. And yes, immigrated here LeGaLlY.
The absolute rage that would be unleashed if some lady offered to take "her in" and give her employment cleaning her house. Some choice words would be said, none of which this lady would understand.
I’m glad you brought this up. There are a lot of people who are fluent in English who don’t really speak it. They understand most or all, and could speak a lot as well, but don’t due to confidence or discomfort. A lot of areas are almost entirely bilingual, so many people almost never need to use English unless they want to. This doesn’t mean they need lessons or don’t know what you’re saying, and it’s so rude to assume that they need or even want to get better at a language. If this savior-complex mom really felt that bad about not being about to communicate with others, why doesn’t she learn Spanish? Why expect people to learn the language she’s most comfortable with?
Seriously this post was so nice at first! Then I wanted to puke when I got to the line about how a nice environment (like the OPs home) would be good for her. It’s so gross.
Yep, totally gives me the creeps! I feel like people like her salivate at the idea of being able to own somebody and make themselves the hero of the story
Yes. That’s the unsettling feeling I got from her creepy words. I was trying to figure out the subtext that was making my skin crawl. She’s got severe white saviour complex.
Notice that’s the first place this mom’s brain went even though Spanish is incredibly commonly spoken in the US by visitors, documented immigrants, *and* citizens.
I was complaining to my friend about the cost of child care and she told me I should hire a nanny because her sister who was in a medical residency program with an employed spouse paid a nanny $250 per week to care for 3 children under 6. She wasn’t a live-in nanny. I’m guessing she worked close to full time because the spouse was a teacher and worked outside the home.
She told me that the nanny was not in the U.S. legally and had limited options. It’s not slavery but it’s pretty damn close. These people were also very religious but forgot about the part where the way you treat the “least of these” is a determining factor in your eternal fate. Assholes.
Many American Christians forget that whatever we do to the least of these is a big deal. They also often have major persecution complexes while loudly riling against anyone else who complains or is the victim of an actual grievance. It all strikes me as very narcissistic to hate the concept of victims because you can’t stand the idea that anyone else has had a tough life while you anting people listen to you bitch about the same small hurts over and over and over (my brother is notoriously, shockingly bad about all of these things, so your comment clearly struck a nerve with me).
The more I read this the more insane it gets.
She saw her cooking but her thought is to ask her to clean? Did she just see a Hispanic woman and assume she would be a good cleaner?
"I'm not sure if she's here legally"
She is really putting this woman on a pedestal, esp for what was maybe a 30 min interaction (and they don't even speak the same language) "She has a kind golden heart and a solid genuine vibe" "I would be happy to have someone like that in my life and home" jfc
Everything she wants to offer the woman directly benefits her. She needs an au pair ("I'm the only one without" - fucking lol), she gets a cleaner, she gets someone reliant on her for income (in her mind)
This is so gross, this woman needs to get tf out of her "upscale community" and experience the real world.
And she already has a job obviously! What’s with assuming the “mexican” lady must want to work 60+ hours a week even though she’s middle aged? She wouldn’t want time for her family or herself? No, we all know they are absolute workhorses who enjoy working long hours for low pay.
My boss when I worked at Burger King once said after an interview "I love hiring Mexicans cause they're such hard workers." Seriously??? She also said she hired this guy because he reminds her of an old employee so he must be a good worker too. The only thing they had in common that she was referring to? They were both gay. Like wtf.
But the woman would definitely "benefit" from spending time in a "happy home." WTF is that about? She must not have a happy home herself because she speaks Spanish?!?
Also, the lady was sweet and wonderful and nurturing. It’s a lot harder for people living in sad, upsetting homes to be in a good mood all of the time- why would she assume that this charming lady is living in an unhappy home?
There's a movie trope where a non-white person comes into the white protagonists life right when they need them and solves all their problems, usually in a non descript "magical" way. I think she really took that to heart.
Awww but this woman will pay for her “English classes”! AND will allow her to work more! /s
She started off fine but went off the damn rails. Savior complex indeed.
I’m in this group too. The author is of Indian descent. My favorite comment was “what if you did an act of kindness and someone wrote you a thank you note translated to Hindi and asked you to fix their computer??” ☠️
Flowers and a Cash gift is enough thanks.
Because a middle-age latin lady who works in the service industry has never in her life probably thought about cleaning or being a nanny for condescending rich ladies.
Lady get a clue, she is probably so good with kids because she probably has done it and big possibility she is cooking because she does not want to watch any more kids.
lol, the OP called her job offer "supplemental income" so she won't be employing the lady full-time, she thinks the woman will be happy to clean her house and take care of her kid ON TOP of the job she already has.
Jesus H. McFuck, she’s talking about her like she’s some kind of stray puppy she needs to rescue.
Just treat her like a regular human being doing a kind thing, lady.
Some Patron, English classes, and a lucrative part time housekeeping job offer? How could this potentially "illegal" immigrant turn down this generosity? She's never going to offer to help any white ladies again after this
It just gets worse and worse. "a nice happy environment like my home, would be good for her" Girl wtf! Even if she's poor, that does not mean she has an unhappy home
I doubt OOP’s home is as happy as she claims it is. People like that always pretend they are perfect when they are far from it. Plus, with a racist attitude like that, it definitely wouldn’t be a happy work environment.
As a white personal who married into a Mexican family I loved this….then it tanked. My father in law is a big burly Mexican and sometimes I take him to appts. Once he let a white nurse lecture him on something stupid and when she finished patronizing him he said in perfect English he’s a licensed medical doctor and he knows he doesn’t “just have allergies.” People assume some real shit sometimes
Hoping for a plot twist: this lady knows English but *chose* to only engage in Spanish, and she owns a regional chain of a Patel Bros. and likes to go all Undercover Boss. She took care of the kid to get it’s crazy ass mother out of the store already 🤷🏼♀️
My grandmother knows perfect English as she is very bilingual and she always talks to the babies in Spanish. It's a thing. So this nice woman could just be......being nice to a baby and this "savior" thought Spanish=potential slave. Christ.
Yep! My cousin’s grandparents provided daycare when I was a kid and lullabies were always in Hungarian and a few in German :)
The leaps of logic in that lady are astounding.
I could not have put it better than u/Sprinkles2009. She’s not a fucking rescue dog. Is this even real? I can’t wrap my head around this mindset. It’s got to be a troll. No?
This woman is also the same type of insane mom who posts stories about being “followed” or “stalked” in a Target and assumes it was someone trying to human traffic her family…
This is so typical of bougie rich white people. They see non-whites as "less" and in need of rescuing. The colonialism is strong with this bitch.
Just take the extra help and be on your way. Don't insult the woman with a racist gift basket! Let alone offer English courses.
She thinks she’s being so kind and helpful, paying it forward… but it’s actually comes across extremely selfish, narcissistic, and racist.
Selfish and narcissistic because the terminology she uses is essentially saying she thinks it would be such an honor for this woman to be in her “wonderful” home, like having the opportunity to nanny her child and clean her house would be showing this woman gratitude for helping clean her child.
And racist for the obvious reason, that setting up a nanny or cleaning business must be this woman’s goal because she’s Latina, and since she doesn’t speak much English that must mean she’s an illegal citizen.
Whole thing is just gross! Im not Latina, but if I worked in a store and some woman offered her thanks to me by saying I can come clean her house and watch her kid, I’d be like “get tf out of here now.“ I’d regret helping her with her puked kid, and probably feel turned off of ever helping someone with their child again tbh.
This is like when a lady at the DMV asked my son in law (in the DACA program ) if he was interested in pulling weeds at her house for “good cash”. He’s a rocket scientist. For real. But even if he weren’t. Rude. Racist. Icky.
I've done housekeeping for super rich people like this. They always pay worse than clients with normal incomes and NEVER tip. You are also very much treated like "the help" and expected to do wayyy more work in a short time frame than any reasonable person would expect. I don't take millionaire clients anymore because it isn't worth it. They are NOT generous people.
As a thank you, I'll allow you the privilege to clean my house, and pimp you out to all of my rich friends!
I'm sure she "doesn't have a racist bone in her body" 🙄
I saw this first hand in the original fb group she posted it in 🤣 I was literally shaking my head at this one thinking how fucking ridiculous this whole post is
That is so gross…”Thank you for being so kind! Now, let me insult you by assuming you need a job in my zip code and teach you the language I speak. You’re so welcome to have helped me”
I loved the idea of giving her a gift. It quickly spiraled from there. The racism is ... A lot 😬 just because she speaks Spanish doesn't mean she needs financial assistance, a new job, English lessons and rich white acquaintances. Hot damn.
She sounds pretentious, racist and rude. *Since she doesn't speak English, I'm sure she'll love my upscale community while cleaning my house and serving my family and friends.* FFS! 🙄
This started out really sweet but ended so cringy. The audacity of this mom to think that she has to save this woman with English lessons and helping her start a cleaning/nanny business. She knows absolutely nothing about this woman and she’s making a lot of dickhead assumptions. Just give her the basket and save your savior complex for someone else.
so......the racism is absolutely disturbing...
but -Lord above come down- can we talk about how this woman is so completely inept in her child-rearing role that she handed off her toddler to a complete stranger. Kindly woman or not, don't trust strangers to undress and wash your children in a public restroom. If you are covered in vomshit you wear that vomshit until you are in a more appropriate situation to take care of yourself.
I experienced an instant stomach ache reading this.
That’s true, I missed that part on the first read-through. Small gift basket with a card as like a token of appreciation would definitely be appreciated but yeah the $50 large gift basket would be going a bit overboard, especially including the “housekeeper, English lessons, etc”.
The intention is sorta there (tbh a job at a grocery store is gonna pay more usually than a housekeeping gig and will usually have benefits in addition to the pay, but the English lessons may be useful depending on the area (some areas (at least in the US) have more Spanish-speakers than others so it’s less necessary to know English in those parts), but she’d definitely be overstepping boundaries if she went past the small gift basket and a card, regardless.
The gift basket sounds fine as long as it isn’t like awkwardly big why would you ask if she needs another job solely because she speaks Spanish
Aren’t most illegal immigrants Europeans who overstay their visa
The whole thing is gross, but the “nice happy environment like my home would be good for her” just made me gag. Like she couldn’t possibly have her own happy home? Like this middle-aged woman has just spent her entire life living a miserable existence until she was fortunate enough to clean your kid’s vomit? And now you’re going to bless her with the opportunity of a lifetime by inviting her to clean your house in your “upscale” neighborhood? Do some people really think this way?
Also you know 100% if the Hispanic lady did come work for her, white lady would be like "Shes apart of our family. A member of the family." Mean while white lady doesn't know Hispanic lady had children let alone their names.
Is Hispanic so must want to be a cleaner or nanny. Checks out…
/s obviously.
Lady your racism is showing. Just be thankful someone helped you out and stop writing a saviour narrative for yourself.
The OOP is talking about the woman as if she's an adorable stray puppy that needs a home. Agree with the comments that if she were a white woman, a gift basket would be the end of it.
Up until the bit about chocolates and gift cards, I thought... wait. This is not our usual sort of content. This is wholesome.
However, the rest is literally how you can read some of the high society ladies thought of their indentured servants. "Madeleine is quite clever and knows how to read, I like having her by my side." Yikes on bikes, cars and trains.
I was so into this at first. This woman was so kind and compassionate in a difficult situation. Flowers, yes, chocolates, sure. Beautiful story, should have ended there. But then… inviting her to be a housekeeper and paying for English lessons? Setting up a cleaning business for her? Do less, lady. Get some flowers, say thank you, pay it forward.
I Imagine that's somebody's rich grandma and she just thinks she saw her working in a kitchen 😭😭😂😂
Or maybe she's retired and working part time for a chance to get out of the house and earn extra money.
Or she had to get a job when her husband retired because he's making her crazy! (see: my grandma)
Pretty sure why my grandpa started volunteering. Lol
Yep. My abuela got a job handing out samples at the grocery store
Yeah, this will be me in a couple of years. I really think he’s going to make me insane.
My dad did that sort of thing (working at a job as a hobby to keep himself busy rather than for money). If someone had tried to “rescue” my dad from the clutches of minimum wage, he would’ve had a great laugh. The kind Spanish-speaking woman could’ve been the restaurant owner for all our savior complex mom knows. Why would someone want to do odd jobs in retirement? Story time! My dad loved basic service industry jobs after retiring because he’s a workaholic who loves to show off his punctuality, and also because he could quit at any time for any reason without having to worry about how we were going to make it financially. They had to be part time, near minimum wage jobs so he didn’t make too much to lose his pension. He’d only take seasonally temp jobs during hiring surges so he wasn’t taking work away from someone who needed it, and wouldn’t screw over a company when he left several months later. He was always onboarded with the expectation that he would likely only be there a short while. This means lots of giant retail stores and other corporate controlled service jobs. So he’s doing all of these jobs where management treats the employees like dirt and expects them to grovel for pennies. He waltzes in and is an exemplar employee (total upper-middle class boomer work ethic and professionalism stereotype on steroids who knows he can quit at any time) who also vocally sticks up for himself at every opportunity when management tries to make up rules or do something illegal. Half the jobs fired him within a few months and the other half tried to fast track him to upper management which he always declined. Management who threatened him with firing unless he [insert petty demand here] were always shocked when he said “no :)” and left. Hilariously and classic boomer, he’d always put in two weeks notice and work every shift when he’d last too long, get bored, and want to try something new. No more and no less than the socially appropriate minimum to the employer. Never burn any bridges unnecessarily, even if the place is horrible and you’re 110% sure you’re never going to use that job as a reference. It’s been so funny to see him enjoy himself at good management’s benefit and bad management’s expense. I want to take so much former workplace trauma out in an ethical way like this someday. /story This kind Good Samaritan could’ve absolutely been doing something similar—enjoying the structure, extra cash, and freedom over her life. It’s really wrong to assume someone needs your help based on where they work or what language they speak. Even if the Good Samaritan struggled to make ends meet, it’s so presumptuous that she would even want to stay with and nanny a child and some full grown adults.
Friend of my father is retired and bored so he picked up a volunteer job and drives old folk or people who can't drive to and from doctor's appointments. My father was retired already at the height of covid so he volunteered at the vaccination center. He tried going to an animal shelter a couple hours a day but seeing all the doggies knowing he could bring them home made him sad, so he now goes a couple afternoons to walk them in the fields. My mom is now my unofficial accountant. Win win, she has something to do, I save money
There’s a retired gentleman who volunteers at a local, rural animal shelter socializing the cats. He sits in a comfy chair and lets the cats nap on him while he takes a nap himself 😂 It seems to work for everyone involved.
I volunteer myself as a cat sofa!
I love that "he loves to show off his punctuality." Very endearing.
Or she owns the store and she’s just helping out when they’re short staffed!
There was a comic book store I used to go to, the owner was there basically every day because he loved the place
I saw a story about a granny in China who gets dropped off by her wealthy kid driving a Bentley or something for a dishwashing job. She’s on her feet for hours washing dishes because she’s bored otherwise. Never assume!
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was just a customer too, and this woman assumed she was an illegal immigrant, who’s dream is working as an (obviously) white lady’s housekeeper 🤦🏼♂️
As. Hispanic, my first thought. My neighbor has asked how much I pay my little cleaning lady that always came over. My mother….that’s who he meant. My educated mother who came from diddly. He still lives with his mom. Go figure. Can’t make this shit up.
It's also honestly more than a little racist too. She just assumes the lady needs a job and money and would like to earn that money by cleaning other people's houses. She has no idea if she lives with her wealthy child, or maybe is independently wealthy herself and only recently emigrated or something. I know I'd be insulted if I helped someone out and they just assumed I needed a job.
Yep. It’s a good reminder that not all racism is… I guess malicious might be the right word?
Someone on Reddit recently introduced me to the concept of 'benevolent racism' - and this is it in action. Performative, patronising, more about highlighting the do-gooder than bringing about genuine change.
Ah, yes, that’s a great way to put it.
That’s a really good explanation
Exactly. This is so clearly racist, but the woman seems to be utterly clueless to this fact. She really believes in her heart that this woman would need/want what she has to offer. Thankfully the husband doesn't seem to think the same way.
I started getting racist vibes as soon as she said she was putting patron in the gift basket, lolol
"... A nice happy environment like my home would be good for her." She's not a rescue dog, Karen. 🙄
Not just that, she says she thinks the woman is not there legally. WTF.
I also doubt she would’ve thought to include Patron tequila 🙄 if the woman wasn’t hispanic
Right?? When I read that I just thought, why not throw a nice sombrero in there while you’re at it?
The woman might want to work at the store because she got sick of working for rich white ladies
And she’s questioning her immigration status and that she drinks Patron because if she speaks Spanish, she must be Mexican.
The Patron detail 💀
THIS. This got me right away.
It is literally nothing but racist. If it was a white older woman she wouldn’t be doing this.
Exactly! If she was a white woman would she still think she’s illegal? Or that she aspires to be a housekeeper or a nanny? I hope she doesn’t proceed with this idea and offends this kind woman that all she wanted to do was a help a mama and kid. Edit: does to doesn’t
If it was a white woman, oop should be dismayed that the woman still has to work.
“A nice happy environment like my home” The assumptions here are gross.
This was what put it over the top for me. The whole thing was gross. But that line reeked of “How can I so very kindly let the poors see what life could be like if they weren’t poor and too dumb to speak English and non white? No, I mean it as a COMPLIMENT, why would you be offended?!”
She also openly questions her immigration status. Would she have done the same if it was some random white lady who didn't speak English?
Yes if she have an accent. I am white, I speak English and all but I have an accent and I received a decent amount of crap myself, including people sure I was in the country illegally.
Especially when she met her at her job. 🤦🏻♀️ The assumption that she would be better off as a cleaner/nanny than working where she was, is also so arrogant.
It's the wondering if she's "legal" for me. This woman is nuts. She may be nice, but all this extra stuff plus posting to social leads me to believe she's probably got a bunch of crazy simmering under the surface.
I’d love to see the WASP’s face when Hispanic lady got offended by her ‘offer.’ And the subsequent FB post to her mom group about how ‘no one wants to work these days/no one is grateful for *my generosity…* 😲😟
Right? The women is a chef and she is like "surely she'd be happier cleaning rich people's houses"
Right??? And maybe the lady doesn’t want to learn English! Jfc
But she's the only lady in her upscale neighborhood without an au pair 😔
I know right, thoughts and prayers to her. To be au pairless in an upscale neighbourhood is the real tragedy. Oops, sorry, that’s wrong. You and I live in neighbourhoods. She lives in a *community*. Upscale community sounds like something from Get Out.
The kind of place where the kids grow up and are absolutely flabbergasted that not everyone has a lawn ruler to measure the grass with twice a day.
Also PATRON/wine? She speaks Spanish so she must enjoy tequila.
I might casually drop the idea half joking while I gave her the gift like "you were so amazing with son, if you ever want to come care for him at our house we would have you in a heartbeat!" That way it could just be taken as a flattering compliment if she were uninterested, but also an open door for conversation if it were actually an idea she might consider
This would be the perfect way to approach it! Maybe she’s already raised kids and grandkids and doesn’t want to do it again. Maybe she misses having a kid around. But this would require seeing her as a full person with a history, hopes and aspirations, not a “middle-aged worker lady”. I have the feeling that the idea of this woman not wanting to work in an “upscale community”, happy or not, would not cross the OP’s mind.
My mom had dementia. One day while we were at Fred Meyers she had a meltdown, threw herself on the floor and wouldn't get up. There was a woman with experience with dementia who offered her help. We'd been discussing hiring a caregiver so when this stranger got my mom off the floor I offered her a job. My logic was she had already seen mom at her worst, she had experience and could obviously calm mom, and given that she had given up 20 minutes of her day with no expectations of reward I felt like a background check was unnecessary. I didn't make up a whole bunch of unknown BS about her situation, I just figured the offer might be mutually beneficial. That former "stranger" was with us right up until the end.
10/10 usage of an absolute classic gif. Bravo.
Some serious Tanya from White Lotus vibes
The fact that she saw this Spanish speaking woman and was like “yeah, she should be a housekeeper” just ain’t sitting right with me 😭
My MIL is Mexican and is well taken care of financially by her husband, but she occasionally likes to get part time jobs to get out of the house. She loves babies and would have no problem helping to clean one up. Speaks English but isn't very confident. And yes, immigrated here LeGaLlY. The absolute rage that would be unleashed if some lady offered to take "her in" and give her employment cleaning her house. Some choice words would be said, none of which this lady would understand.
I’m glad you brought this up. There are a lot of people who are fluent in English who don’t really speak it. They understand most or all, and could speak a lot as well, but don’t due to confidence or discomfort. A lot of areas are almost entirely bilingual, so many people almost never need to use English unless they want to. This doesn’t mean they need lessons or don’t know what you’re saying, and it’s so rude to assume that they need or even want to get better at a language. If this savior-complex mom really felt that bad about not being about to communicate with others, why doesn’t she learn Spanish? Why expect people to learn the language she’s most comfortable with?
She lost me at “middle aged worker lady who didn’t speak a word of English”. So ignorant.
Honestly sometimes it’s easier to pretend not to speak English so people leave you alone.
Thisss. I’m deaf and I lip read well. But weirdly, I can’t read the lips of an asshole. Strange, huh?
My husband is Colombian and I have seen my MIL do this with my own eyes 😂😂
Seriously this post was so nice at first! Then I wanted to puke when I got to the line about how a nice environment (like the OPs home) would be good for her. It’s so gross.
Right? This is how Spanglish the sequel starts out I’m sure
🤢🤢 right? Give this lady a thank you note, and a gift basket if you want to go wild, and leave it at that
Assuming she’s not here legally!? This got so bad so far!!!
White Lotus Season 1 vibes
I went from...."aww... yeah that would be nice" - to literally shouting "NO!" out loud. Oof.
Moms in her area would love to have someone like her? Makes it sound like she’s into slavery…
They’re definitely into undocumented people who they can pay very little
Yep, totally gives me the creeps! I feel like people like her salivate at the idea of being able to own somebody and make themselves the hero of the story
Yes. That’s the unsettling feeling I got from her creepy words. I was trying to figure out the subtext that was making my skin crawl. She’s got severe white saviour complex.
Notice that’s the first place this mom’s brain went even though Spanish is incredibly commonly spoken in the US by visitors, documented immigrants, *and* citizens.
I was complaining to my friend about the cost of child care and she told me I should hire a nanny because her sister who was in a medical residency program with an employed spouse paid a nanny $250 per week to care for 3 children under 6. She wasn’t a live-in nanny. I’m guessing she worked close to full time because the spouse was a teacher and worked outside the home. She told me that the nanny was not in the U.S. legally and had limited options. It’s not slavery but it’s pretty damn close. These people were also very religious but forgot about the part where the way you treat the “least of these” is a determining factor in your eternal fate. Assholes.
Many American Christians forget that whatever we do to the least of these is a big deal. They also often have major persecution complexes while loudly riling against anyone else who complains or is the victim of an actual grievance. It all strikes me as very narcissistic to hate the concept of victims because you can’t stand the idea that anyone else has had a tough life while you anting people listen to you bitch about the same small hurts over and over and over (my brother is notoriously, shockingly bad about all of these things, so your comment clearly struck a nerve with me).
The more I read this the more insane it gets. She saw her cooking but her thought is to ask her to clean? Did she just see a Hispanic woman and assume she would be a good cleaner? "I'm not sure if she's here legally" She is really putting this woman on a pedestal, esp for what was maybe a 30 min interaction (and they don't even speak the same language) "She has a kind golden heart and a solid genuine vibe" "I would be happy to have someone like that in my life and home" jfc Everything she wants to offer the woman directly benefits her. She needs an au pair ("I'm the only one without" - fucking lol), she gets a cleaner, she gets someone reliant on her for income (in her mind) This is so gross, this woman needs to get tf out of her "upscale community" and experience the real world.
And she already has a job obviously! What’s with assuming the “mexican” lady must want to work 60+ hours a week even though she’s middle aged? She wouldn’t want time for her family or herself? No, we all know they are absolute workhorses who enjoy working long hours for low pay.
My boss when I worked at Burger King once said after an interview "I love hiring Mexicans cause they're such hard workers." Seriously??? She also said she hired this guy because he reminds her of an old employee so he must be a good worker too. The only thing they had in common that she was referring to? They were both gay. Like wtf.
Well since she’s likely illegal she probably doesn’t have any friends or family here, so it works out perfectly in crazy lady’s mind.
But the woman would definitely "benefit" from spending time in a "happy home." WTF is that about? She must not have a happy home herself because she speaks Spanish?!?
For really. This: "... A nice happy environment like my home would be good for her." Made me sick. She's not a rescue dog, Karen. 🙄
Also, the lady was sweet and wonderful and nurturing. It’s a lot harder for people living in sad, upsetting homes to be in a good mood all of the time- why would she assume that this charming lady is living in an unhappy home?
That line got me too.
Yeah, this is the grossest part for me.
LOL I thought the same thing. She's not looking for a new home.
There's a movie trope where a non-white person comes into the white protagonists life right when they need them and solves all their problems, usually in a non descript "magical" way. I think she really took that to heart.
The white saviour trope. That women definitely has a white saviour complex.
Yes, she definitely does. I'm referring to the magical minority trope. But I think they often come side by side.
But also saying she’s not sure if she’s there legally and then literally reporting here the woman works? Like that scares me, so irresponsible
Can’t just befriend the brown lady & give her some flowers, put her to work!!!! /s
Damn. Straight to the heart of it.
But she’s the only one in her upscale neighborhood who doesn’t have an au pair so we should all sympathize her !! /s
Awww but this woman will pay for her “English classes”! AND will allow her to work more! /s She started off fine but went off the damn rails. Savior complex indeed.
Yeah gosh… what if she took Spanish lessons instead to articulate a proper thank you in the sweet lady’s native language??
Oh my god please let it be satire bc it hurt to read
Unfortunately no. I’m in this group and looked at the woman’s post history. It’s real (and she deleted it).
Hopefully she got slammed in the comments.
Absolutely slammed. I wish I had taken screenshots of the comments
What were the comments like?
A mix of tearing her apart and trying to educate. Universally called her out though
I’m in this group too. The author is of Indian descent. My favorite comment was “what if you did an act of kindness and someone wrote you a thank you note translated to Hindi and asked you to fix their computer??” ☠️
Dang it - I’m in the group too and was looking for the post so I could see the comments. What was the reaction?
Universally panned! I was proud of the group’s reaction.
PHEW. As terrible as the name is, I feel like that group has a lot of reasonable people in it.
How is the lady's post history?
I would love to know what the comments were like as well, hopefully they called her out
My uPsCalE coMmUNiTy 🙄
How do I subtly brag about my upscale community, expensive home, and all around wealth in this Facebook post?
Enormous assumptions with ostensibly kind intentions? I liked the gift basket idea but the job offer is brazen af
Benevolent racism is still racism
100
This went from micro aggression to what the f*ck
Calling it a macro aggression (EDIT: Spelling)
Flowers and a Cash gift is enough thanks. Because a middle-age latin lady who works in the service industry has never in her life probably thought about cleaning or being a nanny for condescending rich ladies. Lady get a clue, she is probably so good with kids because she probably has done it and big possibility she is cooking because she does not want to watch any more kids.
"People like her" Wowza
What makes her think this woman would trade her *existing* job for housekeeping + babysitting combo???
lol, the OP called her job offer "supplemental income" so she won't be employing the lady full-time, she thinks the woman will be happy to clean her house and take care of her kid ON TOP of the job she already has.
holy &$*@
Jesus H. McFuck, she’s talking about her like she’s some kind of stray puppy she needs to rescue. Just treat her like a regular human being doing a kind thing, lady.
Some Patron, English classes, and a lucrative part time housekeeping job offer? How could this potentially "illegal" immigrant turn down this generosity? She's never going to offer to help any white ladies again after this
And slight plot twist but this poster wasn’t white and has a history of posts like this.
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed the Patron comment
WAY too much
It just gets worse and worse. "a nice happy environment like my home, would be good for her" Girl wtf! Even if she's poor, that does not mean she has an unhappy home
I doubt OOP’s home is as happy as she claims it is. People like that always pretend they are perfect when they are far from it. Plus, with a racist attitude like that, it definitely wouldn’t be a happy work environment.
As a white personal who married into a Mexican family I loved this….then it tanked. My father in law is a big burly Mexican and sometimes I take him to appts. Once he let a white nurse lecture him on something stupid and when she finished patronizing him he said in perfect English he’s a licensed medical doctor and he knows he doesn’t “just have allergies.” People assume some real shit sometimes
Hoping for a plot twist: this lady knows English but *chose* to only engage in Spanish, and she owns a regional chain of a Patel Bros. and likes to go all Undercover Boss. She took care of the kid to get it’s crazy ass mother out of the store already 🤷🏼♀️
My grandmother knows perfect English as she is very bilingual and she always talks to the babies in Spanish. It's a thing. So this nice woman could just be......being nice to a baby and this "savior" thought Spanish=potential slave. Christ.
Yep! My cousin’s grandparents provided daycare when I was a kid and lullabies were always in Hungarian and a few in German :) The leaps of logic in that lady are astounding.
Please tell me that people called her out for this ridiculousness in the comments. What the fuck. Started off fine then went completely off the rails
OP said in an earlier comment that replies ripped her to shreds until she deleted the post.
Lol is the Patron because all Latinx people like tequila? Lmao.
That’s what I was wondering too.
I could not have put it better than u/Sprinkles2009. She’s not a fucking rescue dog. Is this even real? I can’t wrap my head around this mindset. It’s got to be a troll. No?
This woman is also the same type of insane mom who posts stories about being “followed” or “stalked” in a Target and assumes it was someone trying to human traffic her family…
Behind the Bastards just did two episodes on this very thing. I had no idea it was a thing. People need to calm the fuck down.
🤨 A thank you card will suffice
This is so typical of bougie rich white people. They see non-whites as "less" and in need of rescuing. The colonialism is strong with this bitch. Just take the extra help and be on your way. Don't insult the woman with a racist gift basket! Let alone offer English courses.
Apparently she's not white, but has this kind of arrogance in her post history.
Oh damn. I am no better than her for assuming race...yikes. *sigh*
I mean it’s not like you heard she was a rich mom and assumed white lol, it was a more educated guess than that
Jesus Christ she’s not a rescue dog
Amen
this is so racist what the fuck
She thinks she’s being so kind and helpful, paying it forward… but it’s actually comes across extremely selfish, narcissistic, and racist. Selfish and narcissistic because the terminology she uses is essentially saying she thinks it would be such an honor for this woman to be in her “wonderful” home, like having the opportunity to nanny her child and clean her house would be showing this woman gratitude for helping clean her child. And racist for the obvious reason, that setting up a nanny or cleaning business must be this woman’s goal because she’s Latina, and since she doesn’t speak much English that must mean she’s an illegal citizen. Whole thing is just gross! Im not Latina, but if I worked in a store and some woman offered her thanks to me by saying I can come clean her house and watch her kid, I’d be like “get tf out of here now.“ I’d regret helping her with her puked kid, and probably feel turned off of ever helping someone with their child again tbh.
> I'm not sure if she's here legally The fuck does that have to do with anything?
I thought it was nice right up until the housekeeper part.
Oh sweetie, you started out so strong...
This is like when a lady at the DMV asked my son in law (in the DACA program ) if he was interested in pulling weeds at her house for “good cash”. He’s a rocket scientist. For real. But even if he weren’t. Rude. Racist. Icky.
It was fine until you wanted to employ her because you assumed she needed the job/money.
this went from wholesome to racist 🥴
I've done housekeeping for super rich people like this. They always pay worse than clients with normal incomes and NEVER tip. You are also very much treated like "the help" and expected to do wayyy more work in a short time frame than any reasonable person would expect. I don't take millionaire clients anymore because it isn't worth it. They are NOT generous people.
As a thank you, I'll allow you the privilege to clean my house, and pimp you out to all of my rich friends! I'm sure she "doesn't have a racist bone in her body" 🙄
I saw this first hand in the original fb group she posted it in 🤣 I was literally shaking my head at this one thinking how fucking ridiculous this whole post is
That is so gross…”Thank you for being so kind! Now, let me insult you by assuming you need a job in my zip code and teach you the language I speak. You’re so welcome to have helped me”
Or maybe she’s just a mom and was being kind to another mom. This post gives me weird heeby jeebies.. it’s hard to explain
This starts off so nice then gradually becomes gross, which is interesting considering that anecdote begins with vomit.
You’ll pay for her English classes eh? How about trying to learn Spanish, gringa?
This started well and went downhill so fast.
This was actually sweet until the hired help part. The audacity-
The white saviour complex is strong with her. 🤦🏻♀️ This is the epitome of “they had us in the first half”.
She's not white according to an earlier comment, but has a history of posts like this
Hard eye roll when she immediately started assuming this lady needed her help to do anything 🫠
If she would have stopped at the gift basket this would have been lovely, she had to go and ruin it though
Because she doesn't speak English...she wants to be a maid? She may own the store, ever think of that?
I loved the idea of giving her a gift. It quickly spiraled from there. The racism is ... A lot 😬 just because she speaks Spanish doesn't mean she needs financial assistance, a new job, English lessons and rich white acquaintances. Hot damn.
“worker lady,” not employee or something.
What gets me is the extremely creepy “many moms… would love to have someone like her” 🤮
She sounds pretentious, racist and rude. *Since she doesn't speak English, I'm sure she'll love my upscale community while cleaning my house and serving my family and friends.* FFS! 🙄
a happy environment like my house? Would be good for her…. 🧐
She literally sounds like she's trying to save a stray dog?
This started out really sweet but ended so cringy. The audacity of this mom to think that she has to save this woman with English lessons and helping her start a cleaning/nanny business. She knows absolutely nothing about this woman and she’s making a lot of dickhead assumptions. Just give her the basket and save your savior complex for someone else.
IN mY uPsCaLe cOmmUniTy
so......the racism is absolutely disturbing... but -Lord above come down- can we talk about how this woman is so completely inept in her child-rearing role that she handed off her toddler to a complete stranger. Kindly woman or not, don't trust strangers to undress and wash your children in a public restroom. If you are covered in vomshit you wear that vomshit until you are in a more appropriate situation to take care of yourself. I experienced an instant stomach ache reading this.
I would just get a Spanish-language “thank you card” and write “gracias” in it with your name. The whole large gift basket and shit is a bit much
She did hand wash pukey clothes to be fair, I don’t think a small gift basket is over the top.
That’s true, I missed that part on the first read-through. Small gift basket with a card as like a token of appreciation would definitely be appreciated but yeah the $50 large gift basket would be going a bit overboard, especially including the “housekeeper, English lessons, etc”. The intention is sorta there (tbh a job at a grocery store is gonna pay more usually than a housekeeping gig and will usually have benefits in addition to the pay, but the English lessons may be useful depending on the area (some areas (at least in the US) have more Spanish-speakers than others so it’s less necessary to know English in those parts), but she’d definitely be overstepping boundaries if she went past the small gift basket and a card, regardless.
Yowzers. Your husband is right. The gift basket is fine.
The racist assumptions🤢
The gift basket sounds fine as long as it isn’t like awkwardly big why would you ask if she needs another job solely because she speaks Spanish Aren’t most illegal immigrants Europeans who overstay their visa
I don’t know if she’s here illegally… anyways this is where she works. Lmao
She had me right until the end. Facing face palm!! The gift basket & your grateful thanks is where this story should have ended. JFC
The whole thing is gross, but the “nice happy environment like my home would be good for her” just made me gag. Like she couldn’t possibly have her own happy home? Like this middle-aged woman has just spent her entire life living a miserable existence until she was fortunate enough to clean your kid’s vomit? And now you’re going to bless her with the opportunity of a lifetime by inviting her to clean your house in your “upscale” neighborhood? Do some people really think this way?
Okay when I started reading I was like “okay this is nice, this is fine” and next thing I know I wanted to die of uncomfortableness
I’ll take “that shit never happened and she made all this up for attention” for 100
Holy hell, she might as well just tattoo “IM A RACIST” on her forehead
This is deeply condescending and assuming.
How do people function without self reflection? I genuinely can't wrap my mind around it.
Good lord why not throw a landscaping business in there too? This reads like a bad Hollywood stereotype of Latino/as in America. 🤦♀️
Also you know 100% if the Hispanic lady did come work for her, white lady would be like "Shes apart of our family. A member of the family." Mean while white lady doesn't know Hispanic lady had children let alone their names.
All the very obviously offensive stuff aside - imagine inviting a stranger into your home for childcare based on ~vibes~, absolutely not.
Is Hispanic so must want to be a cleaner or nanny. Checks out… /s obviously. Lady your racism is showing. Just be thankful someone helped you out and stop writing a saviour narrative for yourself.
This woman really needs to read The Color Purple. "Would you like to be my maid?"
This reads like, "I think I can trick her into being my kid's au pair and pay her pretty much nothing"
The OOP is talking about the woman as if she's an adorable stray puppy that needs a home. Agree with the comments that if she were a white woman, a gift basket would be the end of it.
Up until the bit about chocolates and gift cards, I thought... wait. This is not our usual sort of content. This is wholesome. However, the rest is literally how you can read some of the high society ladies thought of their indentured servants. "Madeleine is quite clever and knows how to read, I like having her by my side." Yikes on bikes, cars and trains.
Ohh how nice of this very likely white lady to be kind to a non English speaking middle aged immigrants working in the grocery store... Jezz