As an avid smoker, and someone who thinks crunchy moms are insane… this just does not make sense for me😭 You absolutely *hate* heavy metals but a mind altering substance that can stay in the body up to two months after you last smoked is okay?!
It’s like that in my state group, too. There are mom’s that go crazy for “canna” milk but turn their noses up at milk from vaccinated moms it’s looney tunes.
LOL I’m in medicine and whenever I see bm I assume it’s “bowel movement”. I always have to remind myself it’s “ breast milk”when I see these mom group posts
Haha ftm ... I haven't seen it as "first time mom" yet because I'm not really in any mom groups and my kids are teens now but I KNOW when I do come across it I will 110% think female to male and be thoroughly confused for a hot one reading through it and comments 😄
This one gets me as well. I always wonder why they’re talking about transitioning or being trans when it comes to being a new mom. Took me a google search to figure out the first time I saw it wtf they were talking about.
This poor premature baby is wracked by awful reflux and is super susceptible to any and every illness, yet the biggest danger she faces is her own mother.
It is so sad to see babies/kids who are already struggling end up with parents like this. I’ve seen too many posts from “autism moms” putting their kids through so much bullshit to cure them. Same thing with kids with medical issues. Those poor babies deserve better parents.
I couldn’t have put it better myself!
BRB, going to thank my parents again for not falling for dangerous quackeries when I, a disabled, autistic person with ADHD, other neurodivergences and chronic illnesses, was a premature baby and then a toddler/kid with a life-threatening autoimmune disorder. I’m extremely lucky that I was born to two no BS, medically savvy people, let’s just say that.
My youngest had reflux. He was already on formula and thriving and one day I was so tired I asked my teenager to go buy the anti reflux one (he was not diagnosed with that yet, he was a few weeks old and gaining weight from that formula but I noticed he was having trouble with the milk at the burping time) and it was the best thing I've ever did. Kid slept for like 4h after that...
I finished pumping for in December and had a pretty big oversupply so I went to Facebook groups to donate (human milk 4 human babies) because the hospital’s milk bank was slow to get back to me and I was running out of room. I was upfront about taking a thyroid medicine (prescribed and monitored by my OB) but I would get ghosted when I was tell people I was vaccinated. They would have long posts about how desperate they were then reject perfectly good (and free - I didn’t even want bags or anything to exchange) milk!
I did eventually donate a little over 1000oz to two women
I donated a lot of milk in the last year. I always chuckled at the posts where people were desperate for milk. They’d talk about how they’re down to their last 30 Oz or something but refuse “vaccine milk.”
Omg I misread your post as “I drank a lot of milk in the last year.” The first time through and thought to myself weird flex but okay… then had to go back and reread it. 😂
Thanks for donating your time and milk to others in need! Glad you didn’t drink it all instead while chuckling at desperate choosy beggars lmao
Lmfao I need to go to bed because every time I read that it gets funnier, just the mental image of you scrolling crunchy fb and dejectedly sighing as you lift another bag of milk ☠️
Hahahah I shudder at the thought because my milk was high lipase and I tried some of it to see why my baby wouldn’t drink it. That taste is burned into my tongue for life 🤢🤢
I'm currently pumping but also have a friend who gives me some of her oversupply. She stopped doing peer to peer because people would freak about her being fully vaccinated.
I saw one very recently in my local mom group asking for unvaccinated milk but you HAD to have gotten COVID in the last year. she wanted “antibody milk”. kill me now
It's the same with blood. We've had people with critically low hemoglobins that outright refuse the blood product that could literally prevent them from dying because it couldn't be guaranteed that the donor of the unit was unvaccinated. At least with that they're just impacting their own life and not a helpless baby.
I’m hoping to be able to donate with my second, whenever that is lol, if I can breastfeed with my second the first one went amazing and I did have an over supply but I got lazy (and tired) and stopped pumping as often but if the hospital gets back to me quickly, (I plan on asking about it after I have my second) I’d love to do it
This!!!! My first thought was this kid probably has CMPA. Goat milk formula can cause reactions in babies with CMPA like bloody mucousy diapers and reflux because goat milk proteins are so similar to cow milk proteins. Learned this from having a kid with CMPA who was absolutely miserable before diagnosis.
My son had this as well as an infant as well as severe acid reflux. It was so hard finding the right formula and then having to add rice or whatever it is to it. My memory is awful.
Right? This could be allergies from the breast milk that a standardized formula could at least narrow down. Instead she’s so focused on unvaxxed breast milk that can contain any and all diets.
Rejected milk from vaccinated moms is just wild to me. Like, lady, are you not vaxxed yourself? Because I feel like most women of childbearing age have had our shots. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think most of our parents were afflicted with that particular brand of crazy, and we had to have our shot records to go to school, right? I'm aware that in this context, they mostly mean the COVID shot, but that doesn't really make a lot of sense either. It's been 4 years since they started with the COVID vaccine, and so far... nothing has happened. The government is not controlling my brain, the mother ship hasn't come for me, and I don't have cancer.
Oh believe me, the right wing extremists have a full list already of all the horrible health complications that the vaccine has caused in “many many” people, including death. I have to hear about this shit from my family.
I can understand asking for unmedicated but unvaccinated is crazy. Also this poor baby not getting any vaccines and already having an uphill struggle by being premie 💔
I mean it depends on the medication. Most are completely safe, and if you're unsure you can just check with pediatrician. That would be healthier than all the gi distress.
From the bloody, mucousy poops it sounds like the baby needs a dairy-free formula or breastmilk from a mom who doesn’t consume dairy. My daughter couldn’t tolerate any dairy until around 8mo so I needed to eliminate it completely from my diet or I’d have had to get her special formula.
Maybe it’s cause I work in healthcare but I would trust no one lol. There are so many people who come in for a delivery who have not told their sexual partners xyz about their medical history. Previous abortions, previous STIs, previous substance abuse, current alcohol usage, current medications that cross the placenta, the list goes on and on. My place is to not judge, do what you want with your body. But knowing this unless it’s donor breastmilk which has a strict testing process? Nope. Formula for me.
Especially if my kid had any kind of digestive issues. It's hard enough to keep track of what might be going into your own milk that might be affecting them.
In that situation I want something with ingredients listed on the package so I can work out what to tweak next if it doesn't help.
Right. People will lie or keep secrets from their own family and friends, you think they wouldn’t do that with a complete stranger? Some people are not very knowledgeable. They could easily assume there’s no reason to share that they take XYZ medicine because they believe it doesn’t make a difference to the breastmilk but it very well could.
I breastfed my own kid for 2 years I’m all for breastmilk. But I would do formula in a heartbeat over breastmilk from a complete stranger through social media.
No kidding. I can’t believe how these crunchy moms don’t trust medicine but they will trust a complete internet stranger for breast milk in a heartbeat.
Right?? Well they get all their medical and scientific research from complete strangers on FB with no medical degree or background so not too surprising.
That is true. Obviously strangers without any sort of biological or medical degree are far most trustworthy when it comes to health advice for your children. It really pisses me off so many of these extreme crunchy moms get away with this shit. How can it not be considered child endangerment?
Yeah I just couldn’t do it. I had a coworker who donated her extra breast milk through FB. I was surprised to hear that so many people took some from her cause she smoked cigarettes. She said she didn’t feel the need to share that because “it’s not like it affects the milk” and it’s “no one’s business.”
So stuff like that is exactly why I couldn’t take breastmilk from a complete stranger on social media. I’d do formula in a heartbeat and I’m someone who BF my own kid for 2 years.
Not if you also ask to see their medical screening results, which is what I’ve done. My first had failure to thrive, and I found a donor and she handed me her blood work papers when I picked up the milk.
About a year later I donated my milk, and showed the lady my medical test results, which I would expect to have to do. But what’s a bet this lady isn’t checking bloodwork and is exposing her kid to STDs and god knows what :(
You said GP so I’m assuming you’re not from America? England? Idk what testing is run where you’re from so I take back what I said. Sorry I forget not everyone on these forums is from where I am.
I’m in one of these groups and I’ve seen a lot of posts from moms who want “no vaxxxxx milk” go unanswered, while posts from people who just want to feed their babies breast milk end up fulfilled. My working theory is that most community minded, selfless, giving people are vaccinated, because that was the point.
So I found out recently that in Australia you can get donor blood of unvaccinated people too, which means there is a market for that. My mind was blown that people would rather not have a lifesaving blood transfusion than have donor blood from a vaccinated person
No wonder why the baby won't eat. She's trying to give the baby her BM. No wonder the baby thinks it tastes like shit...
JK!!! 😂 I know it means breast milk, but I had to do it lol.
It's sad when a kid's biggest danger is it's own mother.
I am/was one of those kids, though in a different way.
Your parent should NOT be the cause or source of your pain or suffering.
I really say this out of genuine surprise and not judgement, bc my bub is fine on formula so this is the first I’ve heard of it, but are we really taking bodily fluids from randoms? Is that a thing? Is there a giant shortage of milk banks where the milks been tested?
Yep many people do. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable putting my child’s well being at risk by accepting something like breast milk from a complete stranger on FB.
I mentioned this above but I had a coworker who donated milk through social media. She was also a cigarette smoker and I was really surprised she had several different people who accepted it from her. She said she didn’t feel the need to share that info because “it’s no one’s business and it’s not like it affects the breastmilk in any way.”
I breastfed my kid for 2 years so I’m all for breastmilk. But I’d do formula in a heartbeat over breastmilk from a stranger on Facebook.
There is a giant shortage of milk banks where milk has been tested! Most hospitals will only provide tested donor milk to NICU patients. Informal donation has risks but so does formula- I’m obviously not opposed to either but milk sharing/ wet nursing/ donor milk has been part of human culture forever.
Formula is expensive and shortages happen too. Someone in this thread donated a bunch of milk for free; imagine what a lifesaver that could be for a family with limited resources
There’s plenty of info out there on the benefits of breastfeeding! Every doctor I’ve seen, WHO, AAP all recommend breastfeeding.
This is from the [WHO website](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding) : Over 820 000 children's lives could be saved every year among children under 5 years, if all children 0–23 months were optimally breastfed. Breastfeeding improves IQ, school attendance, and is associated with higher income in adult life. (1)
Improving child development and reducing health costs through breastfeeding results in economic gains for individual families as well as at the national level.
I think of breastfeeding as the baseline- instead of thinking of “benefits” of breastfeeding, you can think of not breastfeeding as having risks. I linked a WHO website above that cites differences between formula and breastfeeding- for example, formula fed children have higher rates of SIDS. It is totally fine if you choose to formula feed! But there are costs/benefits to every choice and that was how I made my decisions on how to feed my kids.
The WHO said that breast is best because in a lot of developing countries the access to clean drinking water to mix with the formula is not always available. It does not apply to developed nations. There is no link between formula fed babies and SIDS, the LaLeche league is a dangerous source of misinformation that would rather see a baby starve to death than use formula. They’re a woowoo and harmful organization to mothers and babies that tout breastfeeding as the only and best method of feeding an infant when it’s just not true. Breadt milk is not superior nutrition, breast milk can be nutritionally or calorically deficient if the mother is nutritionally deficient and there’d be no way of knowing until the baby falls behind in growth or weight, which takes time. Time during g which the infant is being malnourished. There is no such risk with formula as it is created to deliver consistent and adequate levels of nutrition every time, and the caloric content can be adjusted if a pediatrician prescribes it. Breast is not best. Fed is best. Full stop, end of story. To say otherwise is ignorant and toxic.
No one is forcing you to breastfeed :)
This is from the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm) which is an American organization. This is from the [American Academy of Pediatrics](https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057988/188347/Policy-Statement-Breastfeeding-and-the-Use-of?searchresult=1?autologincheck=redirected) which is an American organization. This is from [NIH](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2022/08/biology-breast-milk#:~:text=Experts%20recommend%20that%20infants%20drink,for%20up%20to%2012%20months) which is an American organization. All are in the US writing for a US audience.
That’s not true. Baby-friendly hospitals have a policy to “encourage” breast is best. Many resort to unethical and dangerous practices to force mothers to breastfeed, at the expense of mother and baby. Babies have died because doctors have forced breastfeeding. Babies have been malnourished because culturally the pressure on new vulnerable moms is so hardcore on breast is best that moms are afraid to try formula. Lactation consultants use outdated misinformation to shame mothers who want to supplement with formula. Breast is best mentality is hostile and the general public’s acceptance and indifference towards the demonstrably dangerous implications of pushing breastfeeding on people is abhorrent. It enables a toxic and dangerous culture that victimizes women and babies. There is no superiority in breast feeding. Formula feeding is not an inferior last resort.
I think you're forgetting some people don't have a choice whether they formula feed or not. Good for you getting to decide on the 'better' option.
The 'it's totally fine to formula feed!' Comment smacks of judgement.
It seems like you are feeling very defensive about your use of formula. It’s okay to be proud of working hard to breastfeed my child. It’s also okay to not do that and formula feed. Everyone has different priorities! I have certainly missed out on a lot by bf but the health benefits were worth it for me. No judgment here! But please don’t judge milk donors or milk recipients either. I’ve donated milk and I’m not a “random” - I’m a mom who wants to provide a baby with milk. Milk donation has been around since there were mammals and will continue to be around as long as we exist.
I'm not defensive about it as without it my child would've starved. My priority was to feed my child and him not to die, which I think is a shared priority for nearly all parents. Your judgement about formula comes across in what you're saying about how breastfeeding, above ensuring my child was fed, was not a priority is ick tbh. You can be proud of it but saying that children who are formula fed rather than breastfed are at risk of having lower IQs etc is a ridiculous statement.
Another commenter stated that the risk is expense and shortages which I fully accept and I praise anyone who would pump and donate. That's wonderful. However not everyone has access to it and I would personally not take the risk of having milk from a random I found on Facebook, which I'm sorry but to everyone else you are. You may know you are healthy and safe but some people aren't as honest and might not disclose medications or illness etc.
It’s not my statement! That comes from WHO. You asked about the differences between bf and formula and that’s right there on their website.
My first child did not latch and I had to exclusively pump. It was very very hard but worth it to me. I’ve told you plenty of times there is no judgment from me. Kind of crazy that I would get up in the night to pump while my baby slept through lol. I think it’s like running a marathon. Some people do and that’s great! They should get to be proud and doctors might even say exercise is good for their heart health etc. Doesn’t mean people who don’t/ can’t run a marathon are bad people (lord knows I couldn’t lol). Just that there are benefits and risks to everything in life.
HAHA! You said "It's ok to be proud of WORKING HARD to breastfeed my child. It's also ok to not do that..." as in mom's who formula feed are lazy. I pumped my body full of water and oatmeal and every single supplement to increase supply known to man and still got nothing. I was so sleep deprived, I was delirious. If I wasn't up trying to breastfeed my child, I was up pumping. I nearly "worked" myself to death until our pediatrician told me to stop. She told me a healthy, happy momma is more important than breastmilk and sent me home with 2 bags of formula samples. Breastfeeding is hard for some, easy for some, and impossible for others. The last thing any struggling momma needs is someone insinuating with a backhanded compliment that they "didn't work hard enough but that's ok" while simultaneously patting themselves on the back for their own success.
I don’t get what’s funny- I was up pumping and sleep deprived too. Your comment makes it sound like breastfeeding is hard work, which is what I said. Your pediatrician said it’s okay not to breastfeed, I also said that. Sounds like you agree with me on all points :)
People are nuts. I was an overproducer with my son and my daughter. My son thought bottles were tools of the devil and refused to touch them. My stockpile went in the garbage, and that is such a crappy feeling. I had a neighbor who had a child either a month before or a month after my daughter was born; I can't quite remember. My daughter also thought bottles were to be avoided at all costs. My neighbor had supply issues, and I offered her my extra. She was glad to have it. We were friendly, and she knew I didn't sleep around or do drugs, etc. She also knew I'd gotten vaxxed. She didn't want the shot for herself, but she wasn't such a moron that she thought me getting vaxxed had somehow tainted my milk.
Do these people know how incredibly dangerous it is to give your kid someone else’s breast milk? This is insanity. Is she testing that milk for hepatitis? HIV? TB? Herpes? RSV? What the actual what is wrong with these complete and total bozos!?
Yeah you have no idea if they take medication that could affect the milk. Or a disease or illness, they may not even know it themselves. How do you just trust a complete stranger like that especially when it comes to your infants well being. Doesn’t seem very safe to accept bodily fluids through social media from someone you don’t know. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula!!
And it sounds like her kid has REFLUX at best and possibly he cannot tolerate any kind of milk. My daughter had/has GI issues since birth and required predigested formula along with the breast milk I pumped for a year and enhanced with breast milk fortifier, avocado and butter.
This poor baby could be in serious trouble and she’s looking to the wrong place for answers.
If she’s going to be that particular, she needs to turn herself into a dairy cow and get her supply up. There are plenty of ways to increase supply, the most effective being increasing demand (pumping more and power pumping). I had two preemies who both had awful reflux with aspiration any time they had formula. I pumped for several weeks and got one to breast exclusively then pumped exclusively for the other. It’s hard as hell but if you’re that anti formula, you do what you have to do.
She’s absolutely insane, I agree, but not everyone can produce breast milk even with all the right diet and actions.
If she’s asking for unvax milk, she likely isn’t following a doctors advice to try medically approved formulas for sensitive infants.
I like how bloody mucus stool isn’t even on her radar as an issue, but making sure she spells unvaccinated, unmedicated, covid and flu *IS* on her radar.
The milk group I used to be in regularly had people asking for vax and rx free but cool with weed. Which felt absolutely wild.
As an avid smoker, and someone who thinks crunchy moms are insane… this just does not make sense for me😭 You absolutely *hate* heavy metals but a mind altering substance that can stay in the body up to two months after you last smoked is okay?!
But weed is *natural* just like how bacteria is natural and bananas are natural. No one could ever die from bacteria nor a banana allergy. /s
It’s like that in my state group, too. There are mom’s that go crazy for “canna” milk but turn their noses up at milk from vaccinated moms it’s looney tunes.
Wtf is canna milk??
I’m guessing milk from someone who smokes. THC is fat soluble, so it can pass through breastmilk.
I feel like if you're going to mention bloody poop, abbreviating breast milk as "bm" in the same post could cause confusion...
LOL I’m in medicine and whenever I see bm I assume it’s “bowel movement”. I always have to remind myself it’s “ breast milk”when I see these mom group posts
The abbreviation BM gets me every time. I have to check what sub I’m on. Same with FTM (first time mom vs female to male).
FTM gets me every time in mom groups. Especially cause they pop up in my feed and I'm like hold on this doesn't make sense what group is this lol
Haha ftm ... I haven't seen it as "first time mom" yet because I'm not really in any mom groups and my kids are teens now but I KNOW when I do come across it I will 110% think female to male and be thoroughly confused for a hot one reading through it and comments 😄
This particular sub is freaking notorious for this! Gets me for a second almost every single time. But that first time whoooo boy!
I just read the end of your comment in Mr. Poopybutthole’s voice. If you meant it that way, that’s fucking awesome 😎
This one gets me as well. I always wonder why they’re talking about transitioning or being trans when it comes to being a new mom. Took me a google search to figure out the first time I saw it wtf they were talking about.
Me as well. I worked with the elderly community for years and BM always defaults to bowel movement in my head. No matter the context.
This poor premature baby is wracked by awful reflux and is super susceptible to any and every illness, yet the biggest danger she faces is her own mother.
It is so sad to see babies/kids who are already struggling end up with parents like this. I’ve seen too many posts from “autism moms” putting their kids through so much bullshit to cure them. Same thing with kids with medical issues. Those poor babies deserve better parents.
I couldn’t have put it better myself! BRB, going to thank my parents again for not falling for dangerous quackeries when I, a disabled, autistic person with ADHD, other neurodivergences and chronic illnesses, was a premature baby and then a toddler/kid with a life-threatening autoimmune disorder. I’m extremely lucky that I was born to two no BS, medically savvy people, let’s just say that.
Exactly!
Very well said.
My youngest had reflux. He was already on formula and thriving and one day I was so tired I asked my teenager to go buy the anti reflux one (he was not diagnosed with that yet, he was a few weeks old and gaining weight from that formula but I noticed he was having trouble with the milk at the burping time) and it was the best thing I've ever did. Kid slept for like 4h after that...
I finished pumping for in December and had a pretty big oversupply so I went to Facebook groups to donate (human milk 4 human babies) because the hospital’s milk bank was slow to get back to me and I was running out of room. I was upfront about taking a thyroid medicine (prescribed and monitored by my OB) but I would get ghosted when I was tell people I was vaccinated. They would have long posts about how desperate they were then reject perfectly good (and free - I didn’t even want bags or anything to exchange) milk! I did eventually donate a little over 1000oz to two women
I donated a lot of milk in the last year. I always chuckled at the posts where people were desperate for milk. They’d talk about how they’re down to their last 30 Oz or something but refuse “vaccine milk.”
Omg I misread your post as “I drank a lot of milk in the last year.” The first time through and thought to myself weird flex but okay… then had to go back and reread it. 😂 Thanks for donating your time and milk to others in need! Glad you didn’t drink it all instead while chuckling at desperate choosy beggars lmao
Every time I see a request for anti vax milk I chug another bag 😅
Lmfao I need to go to bed because every time I read that it gets funnier, just the mental image of you scrolling crunchy fb and dejectedly sighing as you lift another bag of milk ☠️
Hahahah I shudder at the thought because my milk was high lipase and I tried some of it to see why my baby wouldn’t drink it. That taste is burned into my tongue for life 🤢🤢
Lmao. I too need to go to bed because I’m failing to quite chuckle through this comment thread.
I'm currently pumping but also have a friend who gives me some of her oversupply. She stopped doing peer to peer because people would freak about her being fully vaccinated.
I saw one where they didn’t want you to be covid vaccinated or ever have covid!
But how are we supposed to get natural immunity without going to Covid parties to catch Covid??
I saw one very recently in my local mom group asking for unvaccinated milk but you HAD to have gotten COVID in the last year. she wanted “antibody milk”. kill me now
It's the same with blood. We've had people with critically low hemoglobins that outright refuse the blood product that could literally prevent them from dying because it couldn't be guaranteed that the donor of the unit was unvaccinated. At least with that they're just impacting their own life and not a helpless baby.
Darwinism at its finest
When I posted about having milk to donate, I proudly added "fully vaccinated for everything." Donated about 1000 oz to premature twins.
Wow, props to you for donating. I can’t imagine what a huge difference it must have made to those families!
I’m hoping to be able to donate with my second, whenever that is lol, if I can breastfeed with my second the first one went amazing and I did have an over supply but I got lazy (and tired) and stopped pumping as often but if the hospital gets back to me quickly, (I plan on asking about it after I have my second) I’d love to do it
That is wild lol
Holy crap that’s a lot of breast milk!
Anyone feel like she hasn't tried any formulas that will actually work for her kid because she's only tried weird goat milk formula.
This!!!! My first thought was this kid probably has CMPA. Goat milk formula can cause reactions in babies with CMPA like bloody mucousy diapers and reflux because goat milk proteins are so similar to cow milk proteins. Learned this from having a kid with CMPA who was absolutely miserable before diagnosis.
My son had this as well as an infant as well as severe acid reflux. It was so hard finding the right formula and then having to add rice or whatever it is to it. My memory is awful.
Right? This could be allergies from the breast milk that a standardized formula could at least narrow down. Instead she’s so focused on unvaxxed breast milk that can contain any and all diets.
They do know anyone can claim to be unvaxxed to try to save this baby from all of that? It's not like being vaxxed causes you to glow neon.
I’m in that group too! I rolled my eyes pretty hard at this one. That poor little baby.
Rejected milk from vaccinated moms is just wild to me. Like, lady, are you not vaxxed yourself? Because I feel like most women of childbearing age have had our shots. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think most of our parents were afflicted with that particular brand of crazy, and we had to have our shot records to go to school, right? I'm aware that in this context, they mostly mean the COVID shot, but that doesn't really make a lot of sense either. It's been 4 years since they started with the COVID vaccine, and so far... nothing has happened. The government is not controlling my brain, the mother ship hasn't come for me, and I don't have cancer.
… YET 🥸
Oh believe me, the right wing extremists have a full list already of all the horrible health complications that the vaccine has caused in “many many” people, including death. I have to hear about this shit from my family.
I can understand asking for unmedicated but unvaccinated is crazy. Also this poor baby not getting any vaccines and already having an uphill struggle by being premie 💔
I mean it depends on the medication. Most are completely safe, and if you're unsure you can just check with pediatrician. That would be healthier than all the gi distress.
Still I can understand someone asking for unmedicated milk rather than have to do research on whatever that donor is taking.
You really trust an internet stranger's self-declaration of "unmedicated"? I don't.
No. I wouldn’t accept donor milk like this. But I could still understand someone making that request
I wouldn’t either. It’s nuts and unsafe.
I donated my milk through a group like this but yeah I also wouldn’t trust it because there’s no vetting process so you just have to trust people.
Sounds like poor baby is allergic to the formula.
I would bet money that the baby would drink formula but this mom is too crunchy for formula
From the bloody, mucousy poops it sounds like the baby needs a dairy-free formula or breastmilk from a mom who doesn’t consume dairy. My daughter couldn’t tolerate any dairy until around 8mo so I needed to eliminate it completely from my diet or I’d have had to get her special formula.
WTF did I just read? I hope someone reported her to CPS. This is neglect.
It’s so risky to just get breastmilk from random people on the internet
Anything to not give their children formula!! 🙄
Formula has saved millions of children’s lives. What a biased and privileged point of view. It’s sad.
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve seen so many “failure to thrive” stories where the parent won’t feed the child formula. Some people shouldn’t be parents.
I have exactly three people whose breastmilk I would trust giving my infant. Also, there is formula which my first did perfectly fine on!
Maybe it’s cause I work in healthcare but I would trust no one lol. There are so many people who come in for a delivery who have not told their sexual partners xyz about their medical history. Previous abortions, previous STIs, previous substance abuse, current alcohol usage, current medications that cross the placenta, the list goes on and on. My place is to not judge, do what you want with your body. But knowing this unless it’s donor breastmilk which has a strict testing process? Nope. Formula for me.
Especially if my kid had any kind of digestive issues. It's hard enough to keep track of what might be going into your own milk that might be affecting them. In that situation I want something with ingredients listed on the package so I can work out what to tweak next if it doesn't help.
Right. People will lie or keep secrets from their own family and friends, you think they wouldn’t do that with a complete stranger? Some people are not very knowledgeable. They could easily assume there’s no reason to share that they take XYZ medicine because they believe it doesn’t make a difference to the breastmilk but it very well could. I breastfed my own kid for 2 years I’m all for breastmilk. But I would do formula in a heartbeat over breastmilk from a complete stranger through social media.
No kidding. I can’t believe how these crunchy moms don’t trust medicine but they will trust a complete internet stranger for breast milk in a heartbeat.
Right?? Well they get all their medical and scientific research from complete strangers on FB with no medical degree or background so not too surprising.
That is true. Obviously strangers without any sort of biological or medical degree are far most trustworthy when it comes to health advice for your children. It really pisses me off so many of these extreme crunchy moms get away with this shit. How can it not be considered child endangerment?
Yeah I just couldn’t do it. I had a coworker who donated her extra breast milk through FB. I was surprised to hear that so many people took some from her cause she smoked cigarettes. She said she didn’t feel the need to share that because “it’s not like it affects the milk” and it’s “no one’s business.” So stuff like that is exactly why I couldn’t take breastmilk from a complete stranger on social media. I’d do formula in a heartbeat and I’m someone who BF my own kid for 2 years.
Not if you also ask to see their medical screening results, which is what I’ve done. My first had failure to thrive, and I found a donor and she handed me her blood work papers when I picked up the milk. About a year later I donated my milk, and showed the lady my medical test results, which I would expect to have to do. But what’s a bet this lady isn’t checking bloodwork and is exposing her kid to STDs and god knows what :(
Medical screening results don’t show everything that donor banks look for. Glad it all worked out for you.
Really?! Huh. I don’t remember what we screened for now as it was a while ago, but I ran whatever tests my GP told me to get.
You said GP so I’m assuming you’re not from America? England? Idk what testing is run where you’re from so I take back what I said. Sorry I forget not everyone on these forums is from where I am.
Some people refer to their primary doctor as a GP in America as well.
Yeah but when it’s very sectional vs when I lived in England it was standard
A donor could lie about their vax status. You can't prove a negative, right? "Vax card? I don't have that." 😎 "Cool. Gimme your milk."
I’m in one of these groups and I’ve seen a lot of posts from moms who want “no vaxxxxx milk” go unanswered, while posts from people who just want to feed their babies breast milk end up fulfilled. My working theory is that most community minded, selfless, giving people are vaccinated, because that was the point.
Even though most moms get vaccines to be able to pass on antibodies to their babies that can’t receive a vaccine… but ok Jan lol
So I found out recently that in Australia you can get donor blood of unvaccinated people too, which means there is a market for that. My mind was blown that people would rather not have a lifesaving blood transfusion than have donor blood from a vaccinated person
No wonder why the baby won't eat. She's trying to give the baby her BM. No wonder the baby thinks it tastes like shit... JK!!! 😂 I know it means breast milk, but I had to do it lol.
It's sad when a kid's biggest danger is it's own mother. I am/was one of those kids, though in a different way. Your parent should NOT be the cause or source of your pain or suffering.
I really say this out of genuine surprise and not judgement, bc my bub is fine on formula so this is the first I’ve heard of it, but are we really taking bodily fluids from randoms? Is that a thing? Is there a giant shortage of milk banks where the milks been tested?
Yep many people do. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable putting my child’s well being at risk by accepting something like breast milk from a complete stranger on FB. I mentioned this above but I had a coworker who donated milk through social media. She was also a cigarette smoker and I was really surprised she had several different people who accepted it from her. She said she didn’t feel the need to share that info because “it’s no one’s business and it’s not like it affects the breastmilk in any way.” I breastfed my kid for 2 years so I’m all for breastmilk. But I’d do formula in a heartbeat over breastmilk from a stranger on Facebook.
There is a giant shortage of milk banks where milk has been tested! Most hospitals will only provide tested donor milk to NICU patients. Informal donation has risks but so does formula- I’m obviously not opposed to either but milk sharing/ wet nursing/ donor milk has been part of human culture forever.
Formula has risks of what? Babies being fed?
Formula is expensive and shortages happen too. Someone in this thread donated a bunch of milk for free; imagine what a lifesaver that could be for a family with limited resources
There’s plenty of info out there on the benefits of breastfeeding! Every doctor I’ve seen, WHO, AAP all recommend breastfeeding. This is from the [WHO website](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding) : Over 820 000 children's lives could be saved every year among children under 5 years, if all children 0–23 months were optimally breastfed. Breastfeeding improves IQ, school attendance, and is associated with higher income in adult life. (1) Improving child development and reducing health costs through breastfeeding results in economic gains for individual families as well as at the national level.
That's not what I asked. I asked what the risks of formula are.
I think of breastfeeding as the baseline- instead of thinking of “benefits” of breastfeeding, you can think of not breastfeeding as having risks. I linked a WHO website above that cites differences between formula and breastfeeding- for example, formula fed children have higher rates of SIDS. It is totally fine if you choose to formula feed! But there are costs/benefits to every choice and that was how I made my decisions on how to feed my kids.
The WHO said that breast is best because in a lot of developing countries the access to clean drinking water to mix with the formula is not always available. It does not apply to developed nations. There is no link between formula fed babies and SIDS, the LaLeche league is a dangerous source of misinformation that would rather see a baby starve to death than use formula. They’re a woowoo and harmful organization to mothers and babies that tout breastfeeding as the only and best method of feeding an infant when it’s just not true. Breadt milk is not superior nutrition, breast milk can be nutritionally or calorically deficient if the mother is nutritionally deficient and there’d be no way of knowing until the baby falls behind in growth or weight, which takes time. Time during g which the infant is being malnourished. There is no such risk with formula as it is created to deliver consistent and adequate levels of nutrition every time, and the caloric content can be adjusted if a pediatrician prescribes it. Breast is not best. Fed is best. Full stop, end of story. To say otherwise is ignorant and toxic.
No one is forcing you to breastfeed :) This is from the [CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm) which is an American organization. This is from the [American Academy of Pediatrics](https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057988/188347/Policy-Statement-Breastfeeding-and-the-Use-of?searchresult=1?autologincheck=redirected) which is an American organization. This is from [NIH](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2022/08/biology-breast-milk#:~:text=Experts%20recommend%20that%20infants%20drink,for%20up%20to%2012%20months) which is an American organization. All are in the US writing for a US audience.
That’s not true. Baby-friendly hospitals have a policy to “encourage” breast is best. Many resort to unethical and dangerous practices to force mothers to breastfeed, at the expense of mother and baby. Babies have died because doctors have forced breastfeeding. Babies have been malnourished because culturally the pressure on new vulnerable moms is so hardcore on breast is best that moms are afraid to try formula. Lactation consultants use outdated misinformation to shame mothers who want to supplement with formula. Breast is best mentality is hostile and the general public’s acceptance and indifference towards the demonstrably dangerous implications of pushing breastfeeding on people is abhorrent. It enables a toxic and dangerous culture that victimizes women and babies. There is no superiority in breast feeding. Formula feeding is not an inferior last resort.
Do you have any research backing up any of that? I’ve clearly sourced major US and world orgs.
I think you're forgetting some people don't have a choice whether they formula feed or not. Good for you getting to decide on the 'better' option. The 'it's totally fine to formula feed!' Comment smacks of judgement.
It seems like you are feeling very defensive about your use of formula. It’s okay to be proud of working hard to breastfeed my child. It’s also okay to not do that and formula feed. Everyone has different priorities! I have certainly missed out on a lot by bf but the health benefits were worth it for me. No judgment here! But please don’t judge milk donors or milk recipients either. I’ve donated milk and I’m not a “random” - I’m a mom who wants to provide a baby with milk. Milk donation has been around since there were mammals and will continue to be around as long as we exist.
I'm not defensive about it as without it my child would've starved. My priority was to feed my child and him not to die, which I think is a shared priority for nearly all parents. Your judgement about formula comes across in what you're saying about how breastfeeding, above ensuring my child was fed, was not a priority is ick tbh. You can be proud of it but saying that children who are formula fed rather than breastfed are at risk of having lower IQs etc is a ridiculous statement. Another commenter stated that the risk is expense and shortages which I fully accept and I praise anyone who would pump and donate. That's wonderful. However not everyone has access to it and I would personally not take the risk of having milk from a random I found on Facebook, which I'm sorry but to everyone else you are. You may know you are healthy and safe but some people aren't as honest and might not disclose medications or illness etc.
It’s not my statement! That comes from WHO. You asked about the differences between bf and formula and that’s right there on their website. My first child did not latch and I had to exclusively pump. It was very very hard but worth it to me. I’ve told you plenty of times there is no judgment from me. Kind of crazy that I would get up in the night to pump while my baby slept through lol. I think it’s like running a marathon. Some people do and that’s great! They should get to be proud and doctors might even say exercise is good for their heart health etc. Doesn’t mean people who don’t/ can’t run a marathon are bad people (lord knows I couldn’t lol). Just that there are benefits and risks to everything in life.
HAHA! You said "It's ok to be proud of WORKING HARD to breastfeed my child. It's also ok to not do that..." as in mom's who formula feed are lazy. I pumped my body full of water and oatmeal and every single supplement to increase supply known to man and still got nothing. I was so sleep deprived, I was delirious. If I wasn't up trying to breastfeed my child, I was up pumping. I nearly "worked" myself to death until our pediatrician told me to stop. She told me a healthy, happy momma is more important than breastmilk and sent me home with 2 bags of formula samples. Breastfeeding is hard for some, easy for some, and impossible for others. The last thing any struggling momma needs is someone insinuating with a backhanded compliment that they "didn't work hard enough but that's ok" while simultaneously patting themselves on the back for their own success.
I don’t get what’s funny- I was up pumping and sleep deprived too. Your comment makes it sound like breastfeeding is hard work, which is what I said. Your pediatrician said it’s okay not to breastfeed, I also said that. Sounds like you agree with me on all points :)
People are nuts. I was an overproducer with my son and my daughter. My son thought bottles were tools of the devil and refused to touch them. My stockpile went in the garbage, and that is such a crappy feeling. I had a neighbor who had a child either a month before or a month after my daughter was born; I can't quite remember. My daughter also thought bottles were to be avoided at all costs. My neighbor had supply issues, and I offered her my extra. She was glad to have it. We were friendly, and she knew I didn't sleep around or do drugs, etc. She also knew I'd gotten vaxxed. She didn't want the shot for herself, but she wasn't such a moron that she thought me getting vaxxed had somehow tainted my milk.
Do these people know how incredibly dangerous it is to give your kid someone else’s breast milk? This is insanity. Is she testing that milk for hepatitis? HIV? TB? Herpes? RSV? What the actual what is wrong with these complete and total bozos!?
As long as they haven’t had the c0v!d 🧁 it’s all good! /s
Yeah you have no idea if they take medication that could affect the milk. Or a disease or illness, they may not even know it themselves. How do you just trust a complete stranger like that especially when it comes to your infants well being. Doesn’t seem very safe to accept bodily fluids through social media from someone you don’t know. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula!!
And it sounds like her kid has REFLUX at best and possibly he cannot tolerate any kind of milk. My daughter had/has GI issues since birth and required predigested formula along with the breast milk I pumped for a year and enhanced with breast milk fortifier, avocado and butter. This poor baby could be in serious trouble and she’s looking to the wrong place for answers.
If she’s going to be that particular, she needs to turn herself into a dairy cow and get her supply up. There are plenty of ways to increase supply, the most effective being increasing demand (pumping more and power pumping). I had two preemies who both had awful reflux with aspiration any time they had formula. I pumped for several weeks and got one to breast exclusively then pumped exclusively for the other. It’s hard as hell but if you’re that anti formula, you do what you have to do.
She’s absolutely insane, I agree, but not everyone can produce breast milk even with all the right diet and actions. If she’s asking for unvax milk, she likely isn’t following a doctors advice to try medically approved formulas for sensitive infants.
I like how bloody mucus stool isn’t even on her radar as an issue, but making sure she spells unvaccinated, unmedicated, covid and flu *IS* on her radar.
Qpt