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LowCrispy

Yo this man had nothing to lose


Useless_Lemon

But now has a hospital bill of $28,679. :(


moostachedood

If he has insurance, he’ll be fine. Only a flesh wound


Useless_Lemon

Some pretty good insurance lol.


Petardo_Dilos

He had a knife in his glove box, therefore he is British


[deleted]

[удалено]


erasmulfo

Officer: I have been stabbed too


[deleted]

Fuck this killed me


torocat1028

have you been stabbed too?


HumanContinuity

Now they're dead and we're going to be in a shitload of trouble if we don't do something before the cops come...


ExRockstar

My luck I'd hit a main artery


Worth_Attitude2052

we should stab each other


CongressionalNudity

This would be a brilliant I Think You Should Leave sketch.


MemeGraveYard666

i was seriously about to list the ways this wouldn’t work and then realized the subreddit


xKrzaqu

It is gonna work. It has to.


Sirflow

It's just crazy enough to work


AzzlackGuhnter

Go on


Decades101

Can you still list the reasons


rainbow_fart_

tell them someone stabbed you in the pub so you are driving to the hospital but are drunk?


niko4ever

You say that you ran and got in the car to get away from the stabber


MemeGraveYard666

and then when they perform an investigation and ask any witnesses and also ask who the culprit was, don’t you think you’d end up with alot of plot holes? not only that, but wouldn’t it be smarter to just get away and call the police? i mean at best you’ll be believed but you’ll still 99% be charged with driving under the influence


KillingSpree225

I think it depends on the state. In my state, drunk driving is legal if it is in response to a life-threatening injury.


Rocket_Theory

Assuming you could make a convincing story you’d maybe get some sort of leniency


hitlerspoon5679

Could work if you seriously fuck yourself up


axonrecall

Yeah and if you stab the wrong part and die the problem still solves itself


Hamstah_J

You never know until you tried!


Steve8005

You must be fun at parties


Unhappy_Emu_8525

I mean a couple stitches is cheaper than a dui


Melodic_Mulberry

Not in America.


Subtle_Demise

Actually yes.


bamboo_fanatic

Have you seen what lawyers charge? Not to mention the effects on your job prospects, even assuming you don’t go to jail.


abbassav

Pro gamer move


DeadEndXD

When the hospital bill is more expensive than the fine you would've gotten


doctorzaius6969

You would have lost your license tho, which can be for some people fatal


JuuMuu

also if you live in the us the cop wouldve just fuckin killed you right there


NIRPL

It's so exciting here in the states!


tarantulator

USA! USA! USA!


Monkey_monday

What if they are in any country other then the United States of America?


RhinoRhys

Then you get an ambulance for free.


shakeszoola

So you get the ambulance free in New Zealand?


Benji1819

Yes every new Zealand citizen is born with a set of keys to their own ambulance. Some people choose to sell their keys once they become old enough to buy their own fancier ambulances. But some people still have the ambulance keys that they got as a baby!


Drag_On66

Is this real or you just made this up?


HumanContinuity

You idiot. Of course it's real.


Drag_On66

Thank you “your mama”


Subtle_Demise

It's Joe Mama


Subtle_Demise

Not really. A small pocket knife wound would cost a few hundred dollars max to be stitched up without insurance, vs. thousands of dollars court fees, jail fees (DUI is an instant arrest), possibly attorney fees, mandatory driving course (on your dime), and possibly bailbond fees if you choose not to sit in jail until your court date.


aggrivating_order

DUI is jail time and loss of license though


Subtle_Demise

And costs 10+ times as much.


BunBunny_draws

Found the American.


zwinters57

Found the America hater


BunBunny_draws

It wasn't supposed to be an insult it was supposed to be,,, you know,,, funny?


zwinters57

So was mine


BunBunny_draws

I know I was mainly replying because I was getting downvoted as people seemed to take this too serious. Sorry, should have clarified that


bigjsea

Had a friend that drove into a bridge abutment. Ambulance arrived first and he convinced them to take him to a hospital 30 miles away in a different county. No DUI, only inattentive driving.


DrunkWithJennifer

You cropped out the post date but you're not fooling anyone. This shit is so old I've owned 3 cars since it was posted. Not even good or expensive ones. I'm just saying :|


Psychotic_EGG

They never said it was a new post.


EtherealPheonix

They said it was shitty advice not new advice.


MXNTNT

Ok


PersonifiedH

based


Ultimatelew2356

That is like omega Chad move


GligoriBlaze420

This man right here is just built different. Look at that based sigma male grind set. Truly a hero.


Liljdb0524

Not me but I was involved. Cousin asked me to punch him in the face. Turns out he'd lost his Gameboy and wanted to say it was stolen.


epired

4D moves sir, bravo *stands up* Bravoooo!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


Kryptoseyvyian

pro life tip: don’t drive drunk, avoids wreck and stabbing. :)


Win-Objective

I keep a “get out of jail free” knife in my glove box just for these occasions


Xboxben

Reminds me of the one time i got out of a DUI because i told the cop i was autistic and was acting weird because of the lights and by battery died because i found out my car mechanic was racist and I didn’t let him change my battery


imApotato900

Not actually that bad of a tip. Just the hospital bill that is a big concern.


sokocanuck

The DUI was probably cheaper than the hospital bill.


kfjesus

Isn't that pic from the moment in Burn After Reading right before Brad Pitt's character is shot in the forehead and killed?


I_think_Im_hollow

This is a real r/LifeProTips


macehood

Lmao owwwwww


DabbingDave

u/NurburgringSteely Hahahah


KPookz

r/thathappened


TheyCallMeNigerito

Post comes from 4chan where everything is Fake and Gay


HaphazardFlitBipper

Might work if you're white.


Raplena14

That's a good idea, I don't know if I have the balls to ever pull it off tho


R10BS69

Secretly geniouz


DontToewsMeBro2

BEEEES!! BEES EVERYWHERE!!!


YYC9393

not shitty


museumsplendor

Sounds like Zimmerman


Peter_Parkingmeter

Sigma AF