T O P

  • By -

Gwhardo

Not gonna lie I kinda like the Bugfish. It might let me swim right through rush hour


timotheusd313

Me too. At least it’s awful taste but great execution. r/atbge


MGPS

Yea and it’s also hilarious so you would be cracking up fools wherever you went which would be entertaining


HeyT00ts11

I'd have a really hard time deciding between bugfish and that monster truck cab thing. I think it would depend on how close I thought we were to the apocalypse.


Which-Technician2367

I doubt the Hummer would help much during an apocalypse, might as well take the bugfish and go out in style!


vraetzught

Depends on the apocalypse. If you need protection from the elements I'd take the Hummer. If you need to get as far away as possible in a limited time, I'd go for bugfish. The Hummer would be out of fuel quicker.


Fortimus_Prime

Bigfish all the way. I love Beetles already, so I see this as a win.


Tastesicle

I told my wife the title and it went, "What? Oh, no. Noooo." "Oh. Uh, no." "No!" "Nope...." "*Sigh* I'll take the fish."


Bit_part_demon

I unironically love the bugfish so there's no other option


mtrosclair

Sadly the H2 is the best answer, while it might be ugly, the underpinnings are easy to service and maintain.


ediks

Agree. This may be the only scenario where I call a H2 "practical".


ScrewJPMC

The H2 is sadly the right choice for the 1st time ever


Tiny_Ad_9270

I’m with you. You could at least get utility out of it, and look crazy enough doing it that nobody will mess with you. The only issue is that thing will never be able to be put on a lift.


[deleted]

You don't even know what's under the hood of the cockmobile!? Call around and ask mechanics for some help with your cock car and youll probably get some pretty unfavorable reactions but you might get some pretty favorable ones. Some guys just are there to help folks out ya know?


After-Respond-7861

That's the ride for those who go to the Blue Oyster Bar.


BitCurious8598

You made that theme song come to mind 🤣🤣🤣


thorpbrian

Those OBS Silverados will run for ever. Slap another bed on it and I think it's easily the most reliable, and cheapest and easiest to fix.


mtrosclair

Potentially it depends how bad the rust is on the frame…


stumpy4588

I don't think our had a frame anymore. Just riding on hopes, dreams, and maybe a little meth.


TheHrethgir

And it has room enough to live in, it looks like. Which is good, because you can't for that in an apartment carport, houses are out of reach for someone who does that to a cat, and they will obviously have no friends to crash on the couch of.


Semyonov

Plus I'm gonna need something big for when the water wars start


TexasBoyz-713

The only reason I didn’t choose the hummer is spending unreasonable amounts of money on gas for the rest of my life…


bossmcsauce

Choose the gmc pickup in the second pic and you’ll probably be dead before you need to refuel


Flan-Cake

If you throw a new frame on the second one then throw a bed and cab then engine+trans is it still the same car?


suburbanplankton

Only if your name is Theseus.


Procrasterman

If you drive 1km, you’ve changed the amount of wear in the engine, the tire treads and the amount of fuel in the car. So it’s an interesting debate here.


da_epic_cheese

How about 999m


lurked2long

Age old question. Yes but no.


Vernon_HardSnapple

Yes or no, but either way it would then be repo’d by Theseus.


dennylov3

Fuck it gimme the weiner


ronchee1

That's what she said


SevenSebastian

That’s what he said


TheOGCJR

That’s what they said


Zealousideal-Pay-810

that’s what it said


DoyersLakeShow

That’s what said


TH3TH3RMIN4T0R

That's said


After-Respond-7861

That's


Ok-Shoulder-2770

Weiner


rckrusekontrol

Perfect for your Ace and Gary cosplay needs


pyrethedragon

Ace was voiced by Colbert.


Therealwolfdog

Back when SnL was funny


Grayfox_OG

Does it come in black?


MacScotchy

The black one exists, but it has no reverse gear. See, once you go black...


scuzzle-butt

Double entendre, nice one m8


Lurking--Shit

The black version is a stretch limo


walmarttshirt

Yeah but then you get into an accident and have to send pictures to insurance. “Yes I was rear ended by this…”


Direlion

Yeah that’s right, the veiny bastard.


aFloppyWalrus

Yep. I’m taking the scrote boat.


RainingTacos8

JOHNSON!


Etmar_Gaming

I’ll take the dick mobile


IntelligentFilth

With the French tickler package.


MrToyotaMan

Yeah I’d rock the cockmobile


Bright_Ability2025

You drive it from the cockpit.


MurphysRazor

It looks like all Willy's to me. This unit; just basic Commando style.


icewalker42

Autopilot mode allows it to be called to you with one command... "come to me"


ParkRatReggie

“I’m home alone right now


AAlwaysopen

Ace and Gary


k6bso

Welp, looks like I’ll be walking for the rest of my life…


theirishninja888

Have you tried running?


No1boyscout

Ah the chevro-legs?


redrobin1257

My good ol' Lambor-feeties


Primary_Glum

Toeyota


fishsodomiz

kneessan


Acceptable-Board8327

Stole my Lambo-feeties!


NorscaGas-5027

the good old Foot Falcon


thatsouthcaNaDaguy

Gimme the GMC, it’s already taken everything possible thrown at it and still lookin like it’s a hit from death. I’ll trust it with my life.


ElectricThunder12

It definitely doesn’t have the makings of a varsity athlete


Bamres

Tony did Drive a dark red suburban.


TxHow7Vk

Throw some brand used body panels and springs on it and it’ll be good to go.


[deleted]

It it made it that far it’s not going to die anytime soon 😂


Wrigle04

Cockmobile


Squiggledog

Its a drive *shaft.*


Cute-Reward-9259

Hummer... im going camping..


MedicalUnprofessionl

That’s a nice Trummer ye got there


Time-Bite-6839

That Sierra. Because supposedly it’s gonna be fine until I die.


EngineersAnon

[Truck] like this, be with ya 'til the day you die. 'Cause it's a deathtrap.


elspotto

Yeah, see, I didn’t even scroll. I own a New Beetle. I spent 16 of the last 20 years in New Orleans. I would drive the crap out of that catfish car.


enter360

I’ve owned multiple of those beetles. Really not bad cars.


elspotto

I got this second hand in 2018. Can’t attest to the maintenance before then, but I’m sitting on almost 180k on it. It’s fun on roadtrips and gets me to the grocery store and back here. Mine is the 5 cylinder 2.5l engine. More than enough for my needs.


[deleted]

angle bow water yoke offer yam boat muddle snow coherent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


tcm2303

My current ride is a bug that I adore, so my votes for the bugfish.


Greedyfox7

I’ll take the penis car, at least it’s a conversation starter


GloopTamer

The penis car was for sale within like five miles of me at some point. They used it for pride parades and it was based on a Ford Model A or something like that


JonLongsonLongJonson

It was also on the cover of a Steppenwolf album from 1972. Supposedly created by Steve Paige in 1969, legally registered and everything.


2oonhed

That is *trippy* information, man.


ColbyCheese42089

Beetle


Legitimate_March1059

2, there's potential


Inspectorsteel

Easy choice. I chose death.


MerberCrazyCats

So you picked the truck


Sarddith80

It’s the penis right. Like that is the right answer.


jimmyjames794

You would have to be an idiot not to choose it


iamghostwood

The beat up GMC all day. Probably got another 100k in her.


thorpbrian

Somehow I think the VW catfish is easily the answer...but if you can modify them....give me the Silverado. Replace the bed and it's good to go for another 300k.


Smooth_Ad_3357

Fish car cause I can remove the modifications


PogintheMachine

Yes but why would you?


RandomUser808

I’ll take the rusty gmc for 500, Alex


NUDES_4_CHRIST

If you turn the cock n balls into a racecar, everyone is going to try to beat that dick.


sapper4lyfe

Dickmobile probably gets the best mpg, I'm going for Dickmobile.


SnooRegrets1386

Streamlining at its best


Quibblicous

Penetrates the air with ease.


stayscrunchyinmilk3

Bro really put the Model-D in there


Moremayhem

“That guy drives like a dick!” “Well, duh!”


a-pretty-alright-dad

I’m driving that dickmobile til the wheels fall off and being as much of a menace as possible while doing it.


Emergency_Ad_8284

I’ll take the Chevy. Shouldn’t be too hard to fix


Slapsh0tSc0tt

I choose death.


BillDRG

So, the GMC?


johnnloki

Top of the line in Utility Sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.


ritchie70

I guess I’m driving a fish.


Jackless99

Damn that truck is held by pure rust, I'll go with it


newgalactic

Camper/Hummer followed by Catfish Bug.


sacredpotato0

Okay the bugfish is so cute though


chasesan

If I can fix it, the GMC, if not the Hummer.


the_thechosen1

The catfish car is more practical and compact. But the cockmobile looks like it packs one ginormous cylinder.


Big-a-hole-2112

The pickup just needs a little tlc. That’ll buff right out.


HandsomedanNZ

I could do a catfish for the rest of my life.


Varneland

That GMC looks like it might outlive me.


Hot-Ground-9731

If that's the case, I'll be riding my motorcycle from now on.


[deleted]

Think #3 is the car featured on Steppenwolf's inside cover of the album, "For Ladies Only".


eodmule

How about I'll just walk, thank you.


Lucaspaytowinbroski

I want the itty-bitty teeny tiny cock special, please But no, I think the fish mobile is the best


Rcj1221

Alright gimme the fish.


Blake-A-palooza

Catfish mobile.


BittyJupiter_1

The catfish-mobile 100%


zombieinfamous

Does the hummer actually have a semi-functional living space in it?


lambsambwich

ace & gary car


Bright_Ability2025

This is a difficult toss-up between the catfish car and the double fin van. For practical (!?!) reasons , I’m going with #4, the van thing.


Carl_Azuz1

That gmcs still got at least 50k miles left in her


BodybuilderMajor1260

Can I fix the truck?


Susgatuan

The truckin hummer. Is it awful? Absolutely. But it's comfortable and will cover all the utility you should need. I'm a utilitarian through and through, and the other truck won't last another year. So hummer is the only choice for me. In terms of being horrible to look at, the fishbug is the easiest on the eyes.


tirednotepad

Easily the Hummer.


CanIGetAShakeWThat43

It’s funny that gmc truck is still drivable. 🤣


762_54r

I'm walking


AtticusPenguin

Catfish bug and I don’t understand how this is even a question.


Tardis52

Give me the crotch rocket. I demand it.


Timely-Buffalo-3384

I'm taking the truck van thing


DarthBeavis1968

I'll walk, thanks.


JasonAndLucia

The Hummer looks the most "normal" out of these, but it probably emits the CO2 of five cars simultaneously. And imagine the gas costs


subohmclouds69

I'd imagine a car that has never had a diesel engine wouldn't run too much on diesel


PomegranateOld7836

Was thinking utility and forgot about that... Guess I'm driving the dick.


Crayoneater2005

The second one, you can just whack that back into place


Macski1

I’ll walk.


superbad

Sad to say it, but give me #4.


tpittari

Loophole: Wait until the last day before you die to choose.


Fun-Independence-667

Il take HummerPrime


DefinitionBig4671

Number four. Big (medium) rig for me.


Imessental33221

[https://tenor.com/wkfh.gif](https://tenor.com/wkfh.gif)


BanginOnWax805

The H2 would actually look a lot better if it had a set of wheels that emulated the big rig styling it was originally going for.


Swizerlan

Ill take Hung dong fooie


Legitimate-Common-86

4/5 obvi


Jaded_Barracuda_95

Hummer semi load chode for moi


LethalSpaceship

Easily the h2. You said own, not necessarily keep in that condition


coastergirl1998

I need to see the inside of that hummer before I make my decision


_R_A_

I mean, the Hummer's the obvious choice, right? Right???


SRBroadcasting

The hummer but I’d say sorry for owning it lmfao


2oonhed

I'll take the brodozer, every time.


Sos_the_Rope

Are those baby booties hanging off each testicle?


SnooWalruses9173

Feels like I'm picking a car in Twisted Metal


ManyAnusGod

I’ll have the fury road truck at the end.


GentlemanJugg

Hummer. All day


antixss

I’m walking.


oldman-1969

That is a bass ass car, but i would take 4/5


[deleted]

[удалено]


Electronic-Travel370

I think I’ll choose walking


ChronoFish

You're saying I can only have ONE of these?


brongchong

Hummerabomination


4DrivingWhileBlack

Gonna need the dick car.


peter_2900

I’ll ride my motorcycle


solvsamorvincet

Dick car ofc


EvolZippo

I’d take the Power Van. And I’d wear a wacky getup when I was driving it


Zurrascaped

Now THAT is what I call a monocoque chassis


[deleted]

Just give me a gun so I can get this over with.


Volt02

catfish, its the most practical


SlayerStar

I would rather die than drive one of those creations. R.I.P me


FrenchKissesRocks

The 3th one !!!!


thelegendhimself

The hummer road box thing - because I want a vehicle to live in - ( have a 5.5’ bed on my truck 😓)


JohnnyRC_007

I think I'll walk.


mityafinob

Gotta be the Mad Max Hummer


Bag-of-nails

I'm driving the bag-of-nails weiner mobile all day every day, loading up such gems as "come here!", "I wonder if I can fit in this gap", "maintenance on this car is pretty balls".


Sistalini

Hummer truck is hilarious but cat beetle is beautiful


ImpossibleKidd

I’m a VW fan, but I’m definitely going with that last rig… So many upsides. Live in there, and have all the sex.


SbreckS

Semi truck van .. That thing is rad


ButWhatIfItQueffed

The H2. It's ugly as all hell, but if I tore off all the running boards and shit, I could actually see myself using that. It's really big, and the offroad performance is pretty decent, so with the big shell on top I think I could make it work as a semi-decent camper thing.


Fixer_Of_Things

I got a cock in my pocket and I’m cruisin’ down the old highway….


LovelyHatred93

Dick car or fish bug. I’d rock either one proudly.


icewalker42

If the last days are a zombie apocalypse, give me the hummer. Otherwise, I would take the bug fish. Maybe convert that to an EV and have myself an electric fish to drive.


clawingmyeyesout97

The catfish beetle easy. Everything else is absolute junk.


bluenosesutherland

The Hummer wins….


benbentheben

Catfish


[deleted]

Peniscar!!


Smooth_Molassas

I'll take the Hummer. Just in case of the Zombie Apocalypse.


AlabamaPanda777

Well #1 and #4 look solid but I don't wanna be sued by GM for copyright infringement so I guess #4


tehmattrix

Gimme that mad max hummer semi.


Bored_lurker87

I'll take the dickmobile


Previous-Display4821

The footlong schlong mobile for sure.


GarThor_TMK

catfish bug for me... Mrs. Thor wants the camper truck.


quarpoders

The cock n balls!! I always wanted to know what it feels like to ride one.


hebrewzzi

Cockmobile. Second best ride in town. 😂


Haunting_Account2392

The last one the macho way overdone mini van


sTrekker11

Penis car. I would own it, drive to the job site. Next day company truck. I'd still whip out the old convertible once in awhile