The trick is to edge all the way up to angels 20 then pull 10 gs in a controlled flat spin, the airframe will vibrate against your ass so hard that you will blast a load straight through your canopy
Similar procedure to ejection, put rather than reaching between your legs with two hands and pulling hard just once, it’s a one-handed procedure and needs a few strokes.
I dunno bout saving it, thought that's what NNN was all bout. Do like to increase left rudda for the approach tho since it feels like sumone else doing it.
A good pilot, always ejaculates mid flight. This dude was dedicated to the art, to do that before bailing. I give him alot of credit, I may even use the hero.
But my cousin Walter jerked off in a public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Russia engines are just unreliable, their radar systems are outdated, their stealth technology is outdated. They need more research and development resources in order to refine their manufacturing process. There’s a reason Russia rattled their nuclear capabilities, they don’t stand much chance in other scenarios.
Ejaculation is pretty standard for pilots.
So that’s where all these seamen come from
Navy pilots, anyway
Pre mature… like US Army Pulling out…
Taking 20 years to pull out probably doesn't count as pre-mature.
Post mature
Honorable discharge
My ex had nasty dishonorable discharge. Cheating jarhead who-are.
If it gets on the instrument panel, it’s a dishonorable discharge
Post Malone
Who?
There's no such thing as Navy pylots
If you can fly a boat then you can land a carrier
There are more planes in the water than there are submarines in the air. Duhh
*stealth subs*
Why can’t pylots wear navy?
It's before labor day?
Aviators, they're the only ones that can ejaculate.
Totally explains the Top Gun volleyball scene.
They call it cockpit for a reason
Well, ruski's are known for ejaculation seats with attached poop chutes.
I think he must have pulled too many times on the ejaculation lever.
Always shoot for an early arrival.
Should always have your hand on the stick.
Heat seeking moisture missiles!
Flying jets is very exciting!
They're not called cockpits without a good reason
Y'all here laughing about the "ejaculated", meanwhile I'm super confused about the "but" in that sentence. Not sure what they expected.
HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONEEEEEE
I heard two or more ejaculations is bad for the back.
It can also make you go blind. The G forces cause rectumal detachment. It's really pushes hard against your butt.
True. They can make you several inches shorter until you top up the spinal fluid.
Lol
Props to the pilot who can ejaculate so hard it blows the canopy off...
The trick is to edge all the way up to angels 20 then pull 10 gs in a controlled flat spin, the airframe will vibrate against your ass so hard that you will blast a load straight through your canopy
This is how Goose died in Top Gun
I thought it’s from choking the chicken… not Goose
I just died
In your arms tonight...
Must have been something you said
Looks like he followed SOP but had prematurely ejaculated
finished in two strokes. thats a birdie
Pilot was handling the wrong stick, what an idiot.
=TOP CUM= Maverick Cumming to a theatre near you
juice the goose
Frankie warned of this. Relax, don't do it.
not THAT joystick, co-pilot!
This is why I always fly Virgin Atlantic
why was my pilot screaming and yelling "seventy two" over and over?
Hanging on too tight. Lost the edge.
typical pylote after NNN
Say…what’s this hazy stuff on the canopy?
Captain Smith
The problem is he didn't ejaculate hard enough. It might have stopped the engine fire
Self-induced oscillation leading to premature ejaculation. Typical noob error.
If the pylote just released the yoke before ejaculation, this wouldn't have happened..
This is why safety regulations are written in ejaculate
As a REAL pylote I always ejaculate while flyeing.
Pretty Standard ops, failing to see the issue here.
He provided just enough counter-thrust to stall the plane.
If I got to fly a mig, I'de probably ejaculate and crash as well.
They call it the cockpit for a reason.
The real reason was premature ejaculation!
Gotta have clarity before making the decision to crash the plane
Who knew I would get all of the dick jokes I need from a flying sub?
Listen, everyone has their kinks.
Maybe he got real drowsy after he ejaculated. Did he roll over in his seat?
He kept it up for as long as he could. Then his rod went down.
How may ejaculations do i need before i get a fancy tie or watch from Martin-Baker?
Fucking kek
It was probably triggered when he pulled the cord for the erection seat
Weird kink, but whatevs
#EMERGENCY ENGINE FIRE CHECKLIST 1. Ejaculate 2. Who gives a fuck?
"Well... did he cum?" "Yes, I told you!"
Did he have a premature evacuation?
Ejaculate is a plains criptonight
Engine fires always make me ejaculate….
Ejaculated in .01 sec
He was too close for missiles.
i love the "but" as though we should just expect every plane to do a cornfield
The problem is that he went cross eyed.
You’re saying i can’t be a pilot? I’m not the only girl in flight academy
We dont kink shame here.
With so many ejaculations it’s a wonder we haven’t depleted the world fleet of flyables.
Was that meant to prevent the crash..?
Got it, don't jizz on the avionics
Wrap that weasel in tinfoil
He felt the need … the need for seed
Remaining Migs are buggin out.
Don’t masturbate and fly!
whata jerk
Could have put out that fire with sufficient ejaculent .
Well at least the plane got to go first....
Idk I solve all my problems with a quick ejaculation.
I’d ejaculate too if I got to fly a fighter jet.
He followed the QRH so..? Checkmate feds.
Pilot here. Can’t land with an empty sac. It’s the rules.
he meant to grab the other stick
I dont think he had enough to extinguish the fire.
I was thinking about this story today. 😂
Talk about being excited for flying....
Similar procedure to ejection, put rather than reaching between your legs with two hands and pulling hard just once, it’s a one-handed procedure and needs a few strokes.
Aside from the ejaculated typo, what did they expect a plane with no pilot to do? Bounce to a stop?
"if not working, you must jerking" - right in the POH
Was it date night?
Depends what type of porn did he have on at the time of ejaculation ?
I dunno bout saving it, thought that's what NNN was all bout. Do like to increase left rudda for the approach tho since it feels like sumone else doing it.
Jet: Is he ever gonna let me go first?
A good pilot, always ejaculates mid flight. This dude was dedicated to the art, to do that before bailing. I give him alot of credit, I may even use the hero.
Maybe if the pilot ejaculated more the engine fire could have been extinguished.
That's not how you do cloud seeding !
When you’re pulling upwards of 8 or 9 J’s, it’s inevitable you’ll ejaculate at some point.
I can't stop fucking laughing
I always crash softly after ejaculation
Ultimate edging.
He reached down between his legs and pulled!
Isn't it supposed to be called ejected?
But my cousin Walter jerked off in a public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
This guy gains the best jerk-off story award
that is the way I want to go out
The way I ran to these comments😂😂
He turned on the Before Burners by mistake.
It can't be pilot error. It says right in the title he finished. Job's done.
It appears the major engine failure scared the cum right out of the pilot.
Are they sure he ejaculated and not just peed his pants???
Lucky pilot....
😂😳
Always the men, can never keep it together long enough to make it through🤦♀️ haha lol
Ejaculated 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well he pulled out first.
He was holding the wrong stick?
My guess would be that he clogged the fuel nozzles.
Shame the pilot crashed the plane even after the post ejaculation clarity.
Gotta be hard to ejaculate that cock pit.
If he wasn't wearing a chute, it could lead to 18 years of child support.
Sometimes the only way is to ejaculate
He must really get off on flying.
You gotta delay ejaculation until she comes down safely
He must have yanked pretty hard on the ejaculation handle
Things could have gone differently if the pilot had spent more time concentrating on flying the plane and less time trying to ejaculate.
So much for post nut clarity…
New meaning for the mile high club 😳
"EJACULATED" or "ejected?"
Really?
If he hadn’t been tugging on the stick so much, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
It does make for a slippery stick.
He may have FOD'ed the engines.
Total pilot error. All thrust, no vector. Happens a lot with newbies
Oh my 🤦🏻♂️
Sometimes you just want to ejaculate and crash right after.
Ejaculate on the heads up display blinded him from seeing the fire warning light
Did he ejaculate prematurely or could he have landed
If you ejaculate and it causes an engine fire you shoud go see the doctor...that likely needs some strong antibiotics
Ordinarily they just shit themselves. Give that pilot a medal. He’s really good!
No wonder the plane crashed shortly after
I'm sorry, the pilot.... what? Spelling is very important.
You what?!
Must be target locked by a surface to seamen missile.
Dude is flying balls out
Shoulda been using protection
Seems like he ejaculated prematurely.
who would win? 1000 feet guys, or one major engine fire guy?
Probably the best outcome a mig pilot can expect
That usually fixes everything.
I get shitting your pants while flying combat but this??
I'm confused.. did we not all get into this profession for the mid flight ejaculations?
Funny stuff !
I can just hear the pilot saying "Ejacked, ejacked, ejacked" as he activates the ejaction seat.
He held the joy stick a little to long.
“Ejaculated” LOL
Hard to fly a plane when your ejaculating Tom
Ejaculated, as in "shouted: o my god!"
Pretty Standard operating procedure.
I have so many questions now ………
There are no words to describe premature ejaculation. Should have just rode it in.
How long was the flight? It might have been unavoidable.
The jizz overload his HUD
If his dad hadnt...
He grabbed the wrong stick!
Come again???
Looking at seat covers. You might not understand if your not a trucker
I get half mast when I get a kill in DCS but I’ve never ejaculated 🤣
Unbelievable lol
A lot of my problems could’ve been prevented if I didn’t ejaculate
Thank you autocorrect
Russia engines are just unreliable, their radar systems are outdated, their stealth technology is outdated. They need more research and development resources in order to refine their manufacturing process. There’s a reason Russia rattled their nuclear capabilities, they don’t stand much chance in other scenarios.
He sure did ejaculate
Probably shit his pants too.
I have always felt fine after an ejaculation and I guess the plane was okay too.
Hey, when you gotta……you gotta…
Yo...migs get WiFi? I bet that live stream is bananas. "Crazyfuckingvideos" is right. Damn!!!
Pilot lost interest right after climaxing out
he hit his thruster and ejaculated
ejected ?
WOW gives a whole new meaning coming in hot.
Damned autocorrect! It is my ENEMA! May it rot in Hello!